Original subtitles

Come and knock on our door. Come and knock on our door. We've been waiting

you. We've been waiting for you.

Where the kisses are heard and heard and kissed. Sweet company too.

Come and dance on our floor. Come and dance on our floor. Take a step that is

new. Take a step that is new.

We've a lovable space that needs your face. Sweet company too.

You'll see that life is a ball again after it's gone for you.

Down at our rendezvous. Down at our rendezvous. The company team.

I just ran into the most terrific guy in the laundry room.

And I was so flustered, I just knocked his laundry all over the floor.

Wouldn't you have just said hello?

Oh, you should have heard him. He was so charming.

Ooh, why? What did he say?

He said, sorry.

Sorry, that's it?

Oh, it was the way he said it.

Yeah, sure.

Listen, Terry, I'm really starving. You want to go down to the Beagle with me?

Oh, no, thanks. I have too much to do. I have to wash my hair, do my nails. Come

on, Terry, I haven't eaten yet today. Excuse me.

I'm afraid they're not my thighs.

Leslie, this is my roommate, Janet.

Janet, Leslie Bennington. Hi.

First Terry, now you.

Mr. Furley was right.

About what?

He said these apartments were beautifully decorated.

Oh, don't just stand there. Come on in.

Would you care to sit down? Thank you very much.

Do I detect a slight English accent?

Slight.

And I've worked so hard on it. I mean, being born in London and all that.

I arrived a few days ago, saw an ad in the paper, and got the flat right next

yours, as luck would have it.

Yeah, as luck would have it.

So, you both live here?

Yes, with another roommate.

As lovely as you two.

Your roommate?

As luck would have it.

Jack, this is Leslie Bennington. Oh, nice to meet you. How'd you do? Leslie

came here from England.

Oh, really?

Yeah, and he was kind enough to return Terry's underwear.

From England? Boy, Terry, you really get around, don't you?

I lost him in the laundry room, Jack.

When we bumped into each other, must have been some collision.

Is there anything else that you know of, Terrence?

A little joke, sort of.

Jack, Leslie just moved in next door.

Do you mind?

Yeah, hey, you can live wherever you want. It's a free country.

No, I meant the pipe.

No, no, of course not.

As a matter of fact, I think pipes are so... Well, they're so... Smelly?

Manly. Oh, well, yeah, that too.

So, Leslie, what are you doing here in the colonies?

Oh, well, a little of this, a little of that.

Hope you get a job soon.

Jack, aren't you going to be late for work?

It's my night off.

Too bad.

I was just thinking about going down to the Regal Beagle. Would you care to join

me? The Regal Beagle? Yes, it's like an English pub.

Oh. Well, maybe I'll try it anyway.

I'll just lock up and we'll pop over there. Oh, pop, good.

Leslie Bennington, how droll.

That guy is a phony.

Oh, come on, Jack, I think you're just jealous. Yeah. Jealous? Me? Why would I

be jealous of a guy like that? Pip, Pip, Jolly Good, I'm terribly sorry that I

burped before the queen. I didn't realize it was her turn.

Oh, Pip, Pip, toodle -oo.

Julie Andrews. Wait.

Let's go.

Yes, I'm starved. I thought you had all those things to do. This is one of them.

Are you joining us, Jack?

Oh, I really should take a shower.

Yeah, you really should.

Shall we?

Cheerio. Cheerio.

Wheaties, rice krispies.

Leslie, for making it so wonderful.

I had a marvelous time myself.

And why wouldn't I with such charming company?

Oh, Leslie, you're such a flatterer.

He was talking to me.

What'd you say, Leslie?

How'd you like the Regal Beagle?

It was marvelous. The first time I've been in an English pub that serves

Well, it's late. I must be toddling off.

Oh, must you toddle?

As I have things to do.

Anything I can help you with? No, no, I just have a little straightening up to

do. Oh, I'll go with you. I'm good at that. No!

Thank you very much, but it's something I have to do alone.

You do understand, don't you?

Oh, of course I do, of course.

But any time you need any help...

I'm right next door.

We both are.

Well, thanks again.

You're welcome.

Good night.

Good night.

What got into you?

What do you mean?

The way you behaved around Leslie.

Oh, you were so pushy.

Pushy? Uh -huh. Who was throwing herself at him in the Regal Beagle?

Well, who was throwing her underwear at him in the laundry room? I wasn't

throwing my underwear at him in the laundry room. No, I wasn't. Yeah, Terry.

Butt out, Jack.

Hang on, I got a question for you. Hold it, hold it, hold it. Jack, what is it?

What do you think it is that your friend Leslie is trying to hide?

What do you mean?

Did you see how upset he got when Terry offered to help? No!

Well, I guess he just had other things to do. Then what kind of a dumb excuse

that? It's something I have to do alone. I told you before, this guy is a phony.

He is not.

Yeah, there's absolutely nothing wrong with Leslie.

Wow, he's really got you girls fooled, doesn't he?

Everyone liked him at the Beagle. Yeah, that's right. Well, except for Mike the

bartender. Yeah, Leslie kept paying him with five -pound notes.

Five pounds?

American money's not good enough for him?

That's all he had.

And, Jack, you should have seen him playing darts. You could have gotten

pointers from him.

Look who you're talking to. You're forgetting who holds the record at the

Beagle.

Not anymore.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Well, let me tell you something.

What? Good night.

I love your dress, camera.

You're looking to borrow it.

I don't want to borrow it. Then you don't really love it.

Come here, girls. Quick, come here. What do you want? Into my room. What?

Jack.

Listen, listen.

What is going on? It's Leslie. I heard voices coming from his apartment.

And one of them's a woman.

hearing voices jack really jack you poor thing we are gonna have to keep an eye

on you girls wait a minute janet i tell you i heard a woman laughing in my

bedroom i'll bet it wasn't the first time

tell

you it's sickening larry i mean these girls are making total fools of

themselves this guy leslie's been in town for three days He's already got

sipping tea, nibbling crumpets, and talking like my fair lady.

I gotta go now, pal. Somebody's at the door.

Yeah. Yeah, right. Talk to you later.

I say, old chap, have you seen Leslie?

I can't believe it. Not you, too.

Oh, somebody else?

Janet, what'd you want to see him for?

Oh, I wanted to ask about this ad in the London Dispatch.

You bought the London Dispatch?

No!

Dude away, I picked it up, you see.

Music paper. Listen to this ad.

Attractive widow from Kensington, financially independent, interested in

handsome and debonair gentlemen.

What'd you want to ask Leslie?

How'd she hear about me?

Here's one for you, Jack.

Lonely nurse, artistically inclined, loves ballet and long romantic walks in

moonlight. His name is Cecil.

Okay, Mr. Furley. I tell you, Jack, these English people really have class.

Even their crooks have titles.

I don't care about titles.

Yeah, listen to this.

Duke and Duchess score again.

Elusive couple, Rob Racetrack. Yeah, Mr. Furley, that doesn't interest me. What

really does interest me is what do you know about this guy, Leslie? I mean,

kind of a job does he have? Is he here on vacation or what?

Jack, what do you take me for, a snoop?

What Leslie does until 3 o 'clock in the morning is his own business.

3 in the morning?

Well, that's what time he gets home every night.

Not that I've been keeping track or anything.

Wait, Mr.

Furley.

Have you ever seen him with a woman?

Oh, I sure have.

I knew it. Sometimes it's Terry and sometimes it's Janet. No, I didn't mean

to... Will you forget it? I wanted to, but you kept asking.

The

Duke

and Duchess at Scotland Yard called England's most notorious thieves got

with a million pounds and five pound notes.

Five pound notes?

Hi, Jack. Hi, Jack.

Evening, old chap.

Hi, Duke. Luke. Lando. Lose that. Laugh. Thank you, ladies, for a most

enjoyable evening.

Oh, won't you come in for a while?

Oh, I'd like to, but I have some work to do.

Alone again?

Unfortunately.

Good night, all.

Cheerio.

You didn't give me a chance to get a word in all night.

Well, why didn't you say something while you were nibbling on his ear?

Let's not fight over the Duke.

What Duke?

That's what Scotland Yard calls him. Scotland Yard? Yes, I think you'll find

this part especially interesting. The Duke and Duchess are believed to have

the country with over a million pounds in five -pound notes.

Oh, Jack, you don't think that... Yeah, that's the trouble, Terry. He never

thinks. Oh, yeah? Try this on.

The Duke steals a million pounds and then leaves England and comes over here

looking for a hideout in Santa Monica. And then he starts throwing five -pound

notes around, and why not? It's not his money. Jack! I can go on. Oh, really?

Well, in that case, Sherlock, if he is the Duke, where is the Duchess? Where?

-hmm. Where?

Yeah. I'll tell you where. She's in there with him!

Remember? The voices? Oh, here we go again with the voices!

Okay, if that's your attitude, I'm gonna go to bed.

I wish you'd get off of Leslie's back.

Yeah, I wish you would, too.

What? But then again, if you're going to be nibbling on his ear... I told you

I've never nibbled on anybody's ear!

Quick, quick, it's Leslie.

Come on, hurry, hurry.

Get over there, just a little bit. Listen, listen.

That's Leslie.

And that's a girl.

That's no girl. That's the duchess.

Oh, really, Jack? You're being ridiculous.

The duchess? Yeah, ridiculous.

Okay, so who was that woman he was arguing with? Probably just his

That's right.

Now,

look, if the duchess is his girlfriend, you two can stop fighting over him.

weren't fighting over him.

Oh, anything you say, slugger.

Knock it off, Jack.

Yeah. Don't take it out on me just because there's something fishy about

friend Leslie. Oh, Jack, one more word from you. Janet. That's the word.

Where are you going?

Out to get some fresh air.

Oh, Leslie. Hi.

Oh, hi.

Uh, going on a trip?

Trip? Oh, no, no, no.

Oh, then why the suitcase?

Oh, just a little errand, that's all.

Oh.

Well, then I guess your work is all finished.

My work. Oh, right. Yes, it's all finished.

And you did it all alone?

Yes, I did.

Good night.

He lied to me. He just out and out lied to me.

It's worse than that.

He lied to me.

He's just been stringing us along all the time.

Terry. Oh, Janet.

Oh, honey.

Hey, hey, hey. Come here.

It's going to be okay.

It's going to be okay.

There, there.

Here, here.

Take it easy. It's not worth it to get upset over Leslie. Don't mention that

name. Yeah, I never want to hear that name again.

Okay, you won't hear it from me, and you won't hear about the reward.

What reward?

The reward for any evidence leading to a catch or 50 ,000 pounds.

Wait a minute, Jack. Wait a minute. Tell us what we have to do to get our

revenge.

Our reward.

Okay, here's what we do. What? We watch this guy for the next couple of days. We

watch him like a hawk. Right. Watch him like a hawk.

What are we watching for?

Evidence. Anything leading to the money.

Oh. Yeah, but in the meantime, we've got to get some sleep. We're going to need

it. We're going to need it. Okay.

You know, I just...

Can't get over that Leslie.

Yeah. The way he had you fooled.

So anyway, Mr. Furley, we've been watching this guy Leslie for the past

days, but we haven't come up with any evidence.

Yeah, and that's where you come in, Mr. Furley. Will you help us?

Gee, I'm sorry, kids, but I just can't buy the idea that Leslie is a crook.

There's a big reward.

But I've had my suspicions presented.

Did you say something about a reward?

Yes.

50 ,000 pounds.

Wow.

50 ,000 pounds of what?

Money, Mr. Curley. We're talking English currency.

Yeah, we can get the reward if we find the money he stole.

All right, count me in. Great.

We've seen him leave every night with this big suitcase. He's never without

That's it.

What's it?

The suitcase.

The day he moved in here, I offered to help him carry that suitcase upstairs.

But he wouldn't let me touch it. Why was he upset?

Well, that's where he's hiding the money.

Look,

Leslie's going out. Oh, the big rat.

I wonder who he's going to meet this time. Who cares about that? The

thing is he doesn't have a suitcase with him. And the apartment's empty.

All right, now's your chance, Mr. Furley. Right, right.

To do what?

To use your passkey to unlock the door to his apartment.

But that's immoral.

That's illegal.

Well, what about the reward?

That's why I'm going to do it.

You wait here. All right.

Jack, Jack, what about that woman in the apartment?

Who, the duchess? I haven't heard her since that last big argument.

Maybe Leslie dumped her. You think so?

Sure, he dumped you girls, didn't he?

He did, didn't he?

It's open.

I'll keep watch.

Now if he comes back I'll whistle like this.

Maybe we should go in and make sure everything is secure.

Jack, I don't think this is a good idea. I think it's a good idea, Janet Terry.

Look,

there it is.

All right, girls, are you ready to see what a million pounds looks like? Yeah,

just hurry up, Jack. Don't tell me what to...

it was the duchess are you kidding me you know they probably had a falling out

over the money so when she wasn't looking

So I went over to Leslie's apartment to see how you kids are doing.

Did you lock his door?

Of course I locked his door. Oh, good.

So, you found me out.

No, no.

We don't know anything.

We don't even know that much.

Well,

it's time you did.

Say hello to the nice people, Pamela.

to perform?

Yes. Why didn't you tell us?

Pride. Stupid pride.

I don't understand.

Well, once you've played command performances before the Queen, you don't

about being the opening act in a strip joint.

So she's the voice we heard through the walls?

Yeah, Sherlock.

So much for your Duke and Duchess.

Duke and Duchess.

England's infamous team of crooks.

Don't tell me you thought Pamela and I... Actually, it was Jen and Terry.

What? And me a little bit.

I tried to talk them out of it, but you know some people, once they get the

smell of money... Leslie, I'm so embarrassed.

Oh, Leslie, so am I. Oh, that's all right, ladies.

Actually, I'm quite flattered at being taken for a dashing international

criminal. Actually, you are? criminal. He hasn't paid me for years.

Well, before Pamela tells you anything else, I think I'd better say goodnight.

Oh, do you have to go so soon?

Yeah. Time I put Pamela to bed.

Well, goodnight.

Goodnight. Goodnight, all. Goodnight.

Well, I think it's time you two girls put your dummy to bed.

And with the success of this engagement in New York City, it looks like Pamela

and I are on our way again.

Love, Leslie. Aw, isn't that nice? Yeah, at least I don't have to face him in

Los Angeles.

Oh, come on, Jack. You're not still feeling bad, are you? Yeah, just because

made a fool of yourself.

You've got to be used to that by now.

Yeah, I know, I know. I had it coming.

I'm just surprised that Leslie didn't ask you to come along with him.

Who? Yeah, who?

Gee. I mean, if you don't know which one of you he fell for... Jack, it's okay

to say it. Janet, don't put him on the spot. He doesn't want to hurt your

feelings.

He was talking about me.

Oh, Janet, Janet, Janet, dear.

Don't Janet, Janet, Janet, dear me.

Well...

you're over the hill yet over the hill i said yet

oh come on don't get me all the time hey could you please keep it down my

walls are thin and i'm hearing voices again