All language subtitles for archie_bunker_s_place_s01e08_the_cook

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Now, as I
understand it there, Mr. So -and -so,

you formerly got some previously
experience, right?

Thank you.

Mr. Yamatoka, my partner wants to know
if you've ever worked in any other

restaurant. Oh, 68 years old.

Let me try, Murray. I'll make him
understand.

Mr. Yamaha there, where you cooking?

Namey, namey restaurant, Yogi Dogi.

I'll cook a steak, a teriyaki, on the
grill.

I'll show you.

Then take a knife.

Chop, chop, chop, chop, chop.

That could be a crowd pleaser.

Sure, I'll help me customers. They'd
love watching an old chink chopping up

hand.

Japanese, Arch.

Same thing, same thing, Murray. Jeez,
let's face it. The man can't hardly

no good English.

We can't use him.

Well, Mr. Yamatoko, my partner and I
feel that this won't work out. We want

thank you for dropping by. When do I
start?

He seems to turn everything around,
don't he, Arch? I wish they'd have sent

to Bomfoyle Harbor. He'd have got Tokyo.

Nice to meet you there.

What do you call him?

Sayonara and bonsai.

Mr. Bunker.

There.

I didn't think Orientals done things
like that.

Arch, we... I'm going to have to
postpone the opening.

Why? What for? Do you cook?

Oh, come on. Don't worry about it, will
you? I'm going to get you cooked.

A sign in the window don't seem to be
working.

Well, that's why I'm looking up some
agencies here.

You've turned down eight cooks already
there. Five because you were too cheap

pay the price and three because they
were foreigners.

Where'd they come from? Well, this guy
came from Japan. One was from Bulgaria.

The other was from Argentina.

Who was the guy from Argentina?

A German.

name Witten?

No, there ain't nobody here by that
name.

You got a sign on the window that says
cook wanted, ask Witten.

Jeez, what a dummy.

That's within.

Within is spelled with an H.

Look, lady, we're trying to find the
cook, not a professor.

Excuse me, are you applying for the job?

I'm considering applying.

Here, sit down.

Murray, down. Murray, Murray, you want a
man? Murray, stay out of this. A man? A

chef is supposed to be a man.

So, what's the salary?

Oh, ho, ho, ho, get her over there.

Hey, listen, sis.

Let me give you a little piece of advice
before you leave on your next job

interview, which should be in about ten
seconds.

Always let the bosses ask the questions.

What's your name?

Veronica Rooney.

Any relation to Mickey?

I'm his ex -wife.

On the screen, I'm known as David
Gardner.

Look, I don't want to waste any time. I
am a terrific cook. For the past three

years, I was the chef at Dino's Grotto,
right here in Queens.

Dino's Grotto? Oh, me?

Oh, that's a terrific place.

Yeah, if you got the nerve to eat
octopuses, mother -in -law.

Well, why did you leave?

Uh, Dino. He was always making passes,
you know.

I can understand that.

So can I.

Dino's always making passes at anything.

Why, Murray, it's the truth.

Dino's over 92 years of age, and I've
once seen him throw his arms around his

pinball machine.

What's his salary?

Uh, it's very low there, sis. Very low.
$160 a week.

So long, fellas.

So long, Ava.

Why don't you tell me what you want?

500.

Give all regards to Mickey, Ava.

How about 375?

I can't hear you. Bad connection.

385. You're still very weak.

Must be birds on a wire.

What did they pay you down at Dino's
place?

450.

50. But you're in luck.

You see, I'm a sucker when it comes to
opening new places. So I'm willing to

start at 400.

Oh, you got it. You got it.

Hold it.

Where's the kitchen? Right in there.

Hold it.

See if you like it. Okay. Hold it. We
just got this whole place just all fixed

up here.

Hope it's clean. Hold it.

It's all new. It's perfect.

It's all wrong.

It can be changed.

Look at this floor.

It is terrible.

What's the matter with it?

It should be linoleum, not tile.

Tile is classy.

It's hard on the feet.

It's easy to clean.

Don't be stupid.

Nothing is easy to clean. Besides, look
at

this.

That plate would be alive today.

She's absolutely right.

Don't you have a window?

Wait a minute. What do you need a window
for?

Breathing. I'm hooked on air.

Where's your cooler? The machine is
coming. There's the hole.

Well, until it gets cool in here, I
don't want neither of you guys coming

this here kitchen.

Whatever you say.

Wait a minute. Why not?

Because if it gets too hot, I'll be
working in my brassiere and panties.

Thanks for the warning.

So, Veronica, you'll be coming in
tomorrow, won't you? Now, what time?

Oh, 5 .30 a .m. to 8. I got a shop for
the food. I'll be in the kitchen 9.

That is terrific.

One more thing. You got it. Oh, yes.

I hope you haven't hired a waiter yet.
No, no, no, not yet.

Good. My nephew is the waiter.

It's part of my deal.

I'll buy that. A cook and a waiter for
400 a week.

Oh, no.

My nephew gets his own hundred and a
quarter.

Plus tips. And he don't split tips with
nobody.

Well, wait a minute. Ain't that a little
strong for a waiter? A hundred and a

quarter and all the pluses there?

Let's say a hundred.

Let's say goodbye forever.

Veronica, don't say that. I'm sorry. But
my nephew is my partner.

You don't know how hard it is to find
the right partner.

Tell me about it.

So what do you say?

You've got a deal.

He's a terrific waiter. You're not going
to be sorry.

I'm sure.

Every day now, we're going to have a
different soup. Good. Two special

sandwiches. A Rubens and my own Italian
submarine.

Three hot blue plate specials, New York
Minute steaks and burgers, special

cheesecake and assorted pies.

Well, John, you know what I think. You
should never think.

So long, boys. I'll see you tomorrow.

So long, Veronica.

We're in business, partner.

We're in trouble, partner. No, we're
not. We're gonna be fine.

That woman can run our restaurant.

That woman can run the restaurant at
Leavenworth.

That's what I mean. She scares me. She's
smart.

If the good Lord had meant women to be
smart, he'd have made them out of brains

instead of ribs.

Fred?

And Veronica?

Come here.

Come here. Look at this. Look. Isn't
that a fantastic piece of cloisonne? Oh,

isn't that just a die for us? Yes, yes.

Fred, we got the job.

We're sensational.

Now, there's two partners.

Don't let the fat one bug you. Why?
What's his problem?

You know how the dinosaurs died because
they didn't have brains?

Yeah.

Well, this one lived.

Here,

move that down just about a foot and a
half, no more, and keep it straight.

guys, what do you think about my rolling
parts vision there, huh? Hey, that's

terrific, huh? And the greenery's great.

Oh, yeah. And the best thing about these
is they never need water.

All you got to do is keep them fresh
with furniture polish.

Hey, Miss Watson, Miss Watson, look
there.

I see your guests from the First
Nationals at the door. Thank you, Mr.

Bunker. Come on in, come on in. Your
hostess here is waiting for you. Yeah,

right over and sit down. Hey, we're
going to cater to the banking crowd in

I think the place is going to be very
popular. It's just what the neighborhood

needed. Oh, thank you very much, Miss
Watson. As you can see, we welcome

minorities here.

You're close to the kitchen, but your
back is to the smell, so what the hell

you, kid?

Hey, how we doing over here? Fine, fine.

This is great. Look at this. She eats
like a boy, and you like a government

mule.

As long as you enjoy yourself. It's
fine. The food was superb.

Our compliments to the chef.

I choose all the menu.

Here you go.

Here's your table, right here. Oh, yeah,
yeah, yeah. Sure,

sure. Hello.

Oh, look at you. You're gonna go crazy
tonight, huh?

Yeah. Hey, come on, you guys. Don't make
a hangout here. Don't sit here. Order

something. We're trying to get a waiter.
All right, I'll get the waiter for you.

Oh, my God.

Hey,

give me this. What are you doing with
beer?

Soft drinks are bad for my teeth.

What do you want to do? Go out to be a
cockeyed bimbo with bad breath and bald

legs?

Who's going to marry a girl, Rummy? I
guess a boy, Rummy.

Get back to school.

Hey, hey, use your head, will you? You
want me to get thrown into the clink?

The child gets milk, not beer.

She said she was 18.

Hey, what do we have to do for service
here?

With you in a minute, I've only got two
hands.

Hey, Murray.

I've got to get back to work. Can we
have some service?

Oh, come on. Give us a break. It's
opening day for us. Fred.

Fred, take the order right away. They've
got to get out. Okay, boys. Here you

go. What'll it be? The soup du jour
today is Manhattan clam.

We have steaks and hamburgers to order.
And the luncheon specials are meatloaf,

fresh halibut, and a scrumptious broiled
chicken.

Make mine meatloaf.

And you, sir?

I'll have meatloaf, too.

I should have guessed.

There's something so meatloaf about both
of you.

What do you mean by that?

I don't know, but he just forfeited his
gratuity.

sweetheart. Fine.

Why, are you worried about me?

Uh, just stick to business this time,
you know what I mean? No romance, huh?

With these slobs, I'm liable to go
straight.

Now, don't forget to ask for dessert,
Carl. Hey, Captain.

Yeah, Captain. Captain, that's me.

What can I do for you?

Everything was swell, but where's that
coffee?

Oh, jeez, they didn't bring coffee.

Wait, I'll get it now. Hey, hey.

You snapped?

That's right.

When I snap my fingers, you snap your
butt.

Don't snap.

My name is Fred.

That's a hell of a lot faster.

Faster than Fred.

Try them together.

Fred. It's a dead heat, Arch.

Who asked you, Barney?

Okay, Fred.

Copy to table 11.

Why? About your waiter.

What about him? Do you detect a hint of
mint?

No, I do not.

What? Nothing. I didn't say nothing.

Marty. Marty. Marty, cut this out and
listen to me, will you? What's the

now?

Your coach's nephew is a fly. Yeah.

I care. I care. I'm gonna fire him.

You can't fire him now. There's a room
full of customers.

I ain't gonna fire him today.

I'm gonna finish today.

But tomorrow morning, I want a kid in
here who's red -blooded.

Look, if a kid does his job good, I
don't care if his butt is chartreuse.

Well, that's what this kid's is.

Murray, listen to me, will you? What?
What? We gotta let him go.

God, if we'd known our regular customers
would start walking out, and you know

the kind of people start waltzing in
here, our little restaurant would turn

a fruit stand.

Why don't you stop being so dumb? That
kid will never lay a hand on you.

How the hell can you be so sure?

Because you're not that cute, that's
why.

Hi, Veronica. Oh, jeez.

What? Are you done with your tune?

Yes. Yeah, I'm done. What?

I don't want to break in on you, but I
have a very delicate question I've got

ask you.

What?

Do you know that your nephew is a fang?

Yeah.

What do you mean, yeah?

Yeah means, so what?

So how could you and your family let a
thing like that happen?

Sent him to the store.

That's the way he came home.

Oh, my God. Well, don't that break your
heart?

Yeah.

I wish he could be more like you.

Why don't you send it to somebody? Why
don't you do something?

I suppose I could have him tattooed.

Oh, well, now, you may think you're
kidding, but that ain't a bad idea.

Now, listen.

We're going to pay him for a day's work,
but tomorrow we got to get another

waiter in here.

Then get yourself another cook.

Oh,

that ain't fair, Veronica.

Yeah, I guess it ain't.

You know, that's a holdup.

Yeah, I guess it is.

Well, I ain't going to stand still for
no holdup. Now, you do what you want to

do. You go, you stay.

But he goes, see, he goes.

And that's all there is to it.

And I'll tell you something else. You
ought to take him to get him tattoos.

No flowers or nothing.

Just make it battleships and daggers.

Veronica.

Veronica, I got to tell you something.
You know,

the dinner was terrific.

The lunch was perfect.

You're a great chef.

She was a great chef.

I see it.

Veronica, just give me a few minutes to
straighten it out, huh? Let me buy you a

drink at the bar.

I'll have it right here. No, I mean one
of mine.

This is one of yours.

What do you mean, no?

Can't your wife come in for a few days
and help us over this crisis?

She wouldn't cook for you. She don't
even cook for me.

Give me a beer, will you?

What the hell are women doing nowadays?

Hey, odds, I just straightened the whole
thing out. Spoke to Veronica, she's

going to stay on with us, and so is the
nephew.

Oh, no, Murray. Oh, yes. Oh, no, no.

No? What no?

You know, I'm a live and let live guy.

But that kid, I'm telling you, he's just
too, too, too.

Too, too what?

Too women.

it, you're saying. You're saying if he
were black, you wouldn't want him too

black, huh?

Well, no, that wouldn't be good.

And if he were Jewish, you wouldn't want
him to be too Jewish, huh?

Well, that wouldn't be no good neither,
old Doomy's Pigs.

Why does everybody have to change for
you? Why don't you change for a change?

What? Why? Do you hear? this over here,
why don't I change?

What the hell do you want me to be?

A gay black he?

Hey, Murray, are we in or out?

You're in.

You're out.

In. Out. In. Out. Out. Now, Murray,
Murray, the real reason for this, just

over me this minute here.

This here wages job really ought to go
to one of your minorities.

I'm a minority.

God knows that's true.

I mean it ought to go to a young man
who's supporting his mother or

support my mother. I mean a veteran of
the army.

I'm a veteran.

I mean a veteran of Vietnam.

Would you believe the Green Berets?

I say he stays, Murray.

He stays, Murray. He stays, Murray.
Look, good cook, Murray.

Happy customers.

Over 200 lunches and dinners.

See you in the morning.

You're going to need the keys.

Well, you know, I just can't take all of
this in.

Mr. Van Rensselaer, how do you forget
the expression see all of this?

Oh, I can sympathize with the young
fellow, Arch.

I know what it's like to be different.

Remember when I first started coming in
here?

You were pretty uncomfortable when I was
around.

No, I wasn't.

Oh, yes, you were.

You either tried to ignore me or you
paid too much attention to me.

No, I didn't.

You still treat me different.

No, I don't.

You treat me with more respect than you
treat anybody else.

Yeah, well, you're blind.

Got me there, Arch.

Hey, Arch.

Arch, you did a good thing. Yeah, well,
I want to tell you something. I didn't

do it because I wanted to. Well, listen,
you did it. That's the important thing.

Let me ask you one question. All right.

Now, did you believe, honest to God on
this, did you believe that kid's crap

photo about the green berets?

Green? No.

Berets, I believe.

But, you know, what I really mean, Mr.
Van Rensselaer, is that things

are moving so fast nowadays, you know?

I mean, I can hardly catch up with
anything.

Now, for instance, I got a wife who's
out working.

I got a partner who's Jewish.

Now I got to take fags in my business.

You know, I mean,

Why is the world changing like this here
all of a sudden? I mean, why can't the

world waste?

For what?

For me.

Arch, the world stops for you.

Everybody will fall off.