All language subtitles for archie_bunker_s_place_s01e03_edith_gets_hired

Hello. Mr. Van Rensselaer? Hello, Mrs.
Bunker. Nice to hear you again.

Who are you, Mrs. Bunker? Oh, call me
Edith. All right, Edith. Call me Marie.

Marie. Right.

You know, you look like you just stepped
out of Vogue.

Oh, thank you. Your gloves, everything.
You know, you really get dressed up to

go roller skating.

Oh, no. These are Debbie's games.

I used to roller skate, though. But I
gave it up after I fell on Fanny.

Everybody does that.

Oh, oh, no. I mean my cousin, Fanny. Oh,
yes, I

did. I thought when you went roller
skating... Come on, sit down, Edith.

got your ginger ale for you. On the
rocks? On the rocks with a twit of

Oh, thanks.

You know, I haven't been roller skating
since I was a teenager.

What a great way to pick up girls.

Maybe I ought to start again. What size
are those?

Those are Steffi's skates. They wouldn't
fit.

I left a note on the door at home so

she'd know enough to come here and pick
them up.

I'm going to see you back.

I gotta go someplace, and Steffi's going
roller skating with Amy Bloom after

school, and she forgot her key.

Steffi, not Amy.

Would you mind telling her not to stay
after 5 o 'clock because she has a piano

lesson at 5 .30? Amy, not Steffi.

And I got her key so she can get in when
she gets home.

Steffi. Biffy, not Amy.

Amy, I've got it.

I think I better write that down.

I never write things down.

Because if I lose the paper, then I
don't remember.

Biffy, Amy, is there anything else?

Yeah, would you tell Archie that I'll be
home in plenty of time to fix dinner no

matter what the doctor says?

Doctor, dinner, doctor.

You sick?

No, no.

He ain't a doctor, doctor.

He don't cure nobody. He's a
psychiatrist.

Stay away from psychiatrists. Now, you
seem to be a very happy woman, and you

don't want to go and find out that you
don't have the right to be happy.

Oh, I ain't a patient.

I'm an applicant.

Please promise me you won't say nothing
about this to Archie, because I'm going

to tell him.

I'm going to see about a job at the
Regal Park Center.

The funny farm?

Oh, they laugh a lot there, but they
don't talk.

Edith, what kind of work do you want to
do?

I'm a helper.

Help the patients write letters. And I
read to them. And I play Chinese

with them.

Well, whatever.

Well, play it cool.

Let them win.

You did a good job.

Why not?

I bet you'd be great with the stirred
people.

I am.

We had a lot of them at the Sunshine
Home. And they felt cool. Closer to me

anybody else.

You've had lots of experience.

I got fired, too.

And I'm afraid when Dr.

Wakeford, he's the head head doctor,
hears about that, he's not going to give

the job.

Well, nobody's going to tell him that
you got fired. Oh, yeah, somebody will.

Tell him that. Tell him how great you
were. Tell him how the people at the

Sunshine Home loved you. You know,
you've got to have a little chutzpah.

A little what?

Chutzpah. It's guts.

It's nerve. It's chutzpah.

How do you spell that? Chutzpah?

C -H -U -T -Z -P -H.

H. Chutzpah.

That's Chutzpah. No, no.

C -H is pronounced Chutzpah.

I hope I'll have some left over for when
I tell Archie.

Thanks a lot, Murray.

All right. Bye. Bye, Mr. Van Rensselaer.
So long, Ms. Bumper.

Oh,

I think it's lovely.

It's so homey.

It ain't a bit like a... A loony bin?

That's all right. That's what the
patients call it.

Excuse us, Tom.

You have to keep a sense of humor around
here, Mrs. Bunker. Otherwise, as we say

in medical circles, you go bananas.

Please sit down. Thank you.

So, how about it, Mrs. Bunker? You think
you'd like to work for us? Yeah, I'd

love to.

Are you sure you'd like me to work for
you?

Quite sure.

What we need around here is someone with
patience and understanding.

Miss Critchin from the Sunshine Home
assures me you have both.

Did Miss Critchin say anything else
about me?

Oh, yeah.

She said you did excellent work there.

So, let's talk about your schedule.

You work Monday through Friday from noon
to eight.

Oh. You'll eat with the patients, so
your meals are included.

Oh. And your salary will be $5 an hour.

Oh.

Do you have any questions you'd like to
ask me?

Do you have any questions you'd like to
ask me?

No.

It's been a pleasure, Mrs. Plunkett.
Thank you.

I'm really glad you're going to be with
us. Me too.

I'll see you next week.

Bye, Doctor.

Bye -bye.

from the Sunshine Home.

It was on account of a very old lady,
Mrs. Dillon, who they was trying to keep

alive, but she didn't want that no more.

I was sitting with her while she was
dying and holding her hand, and I didn't

call nobody.

She was 82 years old, and she had a
wonderful life, but... She was

very sick, and everybody she knew was
gone.

She couldn't even get up and go to the
bathroom by herself.

And she said that her dead husband,
Arthur, was waving to her, you know,

the other side.

And she said that the Lord told her,
Loretta, it's time.

I asked her.

If I could do anything. And she said,
just sit beside me, Edith,

and hold my hand.

So I did.

And she went.

And they fired me.

If you had that day to live over, Mrs.
Bunker, what would you do?

Just what I did.

I'm sorry.

I had to tell you because it wasn't fair
not to.

So you don't have to hire me now if you
don't want to.

I'll see you Monday at noon.

Don't be late.

Oh, thank you.

You don't have any other problems, do
you?

No, why?

Last woman who had your job had to quit
because her husband wouldn't let her

work. Did you ever hear of anything so
stupid?

Yeah.

Once.

back to work again.

That's another thing. That's because she
was home here alone with nothing else

to do but run around the house all day
having fun with your housework.

But now you've got a helpless person to
take care of. You're not helpless.

I wasn't talking about me. I was talking
about you.

I'm not helpless.

Can you run a saloon?

No.

Well, then you help us.

And you need to stay home and take care
of it.

All my friends' mothers work.

Oh, I know that very well.

That's what has the world in such rotten
shape.

All these women running around out there
doing useless jobs and leaving their

daughters home alone to get pregnant.

I did this work all last year and I
didn't get pregnant.

She hears words. like that on TV.

Why don't you sit down and eat your
dinner? No, I won't sit down.

Sit down. I don't want nothing.

When I hear talk like this, I just can't
sit down.

sitting here upset.

Archie, I'm supposed to start my new job
on Monday.

Edith, I thought you was over all of
that foolishness when you stopped

at that old people's joint.

I think you got plenty to do here.

You want to grow up to be a nice girl
and a beautiful girl and have some hard

work and good -looking dope to take care
of you.

I'm going to take care of myself.

When I grow up, I'm going to be the boss
of my house.

Oh, my God.

Well, we was warned about this by that
wonderful woman Phyllis Shufla, God

bless her.

But we didn't pay her no mind.

And now look what we're doing. We're
raising another Joan Fonda over there.

Go upstairs and give your dollies a
bath.

They're clean.

Well, you ain't, so go upstairs and give
yourself a bath.

Go on, do as I tell you.

Just because I'm a woman is no reason to
treat me like a sex...

In fact, you do the same.

Well,

we got the television nut waste to thank
for this.

You know, if it wasn't for sports, I'd
throw that TV set right into the Gowanus

Canal.

does that help us? You taking work in
one of them geriatric side jakes.

I do know what I need.

How do you train the aged?

Don't put some crappy old bag into a
boil pool.

Teaching some old geezer with no teeth
and one leg in the grave how to put his

hat on.

And what does it all get you in the end?

Guidance.

This is the Regal Park Center. They
ain't all old.

Then what's wrong with them?

They're mentally disturbed.

What?

You're going to take a job in a hoo -hoo
hotel?

You don't dare do that.

come out the same again.

Oh, I have experience in this thing.

My Aunt Lou, Lord rest her soul, she
took part -time work in one of them

You know what them people done to her?

They set fire to her apron.

Then they put mayonnaise in her
pocketbook.

Then they put huckleberries in her
pantyhose.

Overnight, A beautiful, raving -haired
woman tying snow white.

Did she quit?

She did.

She had it. She'd become a patient then.

Oh, gee, that ain't gonna happen to me.
I'll be all right, and so will

you. Oh, I ain't thinking of me. Don't
think of me. Put me right out of your

mind. I did.

Think of the innocent child up there.

That poor little waifu living with us
here. I'm one of your family.

She can't be home alone all day.

Well, she ain't home alone all day.

Who the hell's gonna be with her?

She's in school every day. But I know
after school.

On Monday, she goes to Girl Scout.

That's Monday.

What about the rest of the week?

Tuesday, she has a dance and lessons.
And Wednesday... then Fridays she goes

the skating rink with Amy Bloom, and
Thursdays she has religious school.

Oh, what a brutal schedule for
Charlotte.

Eve, Eve, every child needs some time
alone with her loved ones.

Well, this will give her some time with
you.

Time with me is useless.

dinner, help her with her homework, play
with her a little, and then bring her

home to me.

I know, Edith.

Suppose she gets sick.

What if she gets sick in the middle of
the day?

Well, she'll always know where I am.
She'll have my phone number.

Phone number?

What a cruel...

what he called that personal sense of
security there, has to know that when

gets sick, there's a responsible
individual here at home who will help

up.

Yes. Now, you was always there when
Gloria was thrown up.

And look at the result of all of that.

Turned out perfect.

Except for who she married.

I'll get it.

I'll get it. I'll get it. I'll get it. I
said, I'll get it. Why do you always

come racing up to the door?

That's only a bell. It ain't a fire
alarm.

Open it.

All right, I will.

Hi. Oh, hiya, Murray. What do you want?
We need your key to the storeroom.

Use your own key. I haven't got one.

Well, can't you get one made and give me
yours and I will?

You see this?

He's always got a smart answer for
everything.

Archie, they're going to call me a
recreation assistant and I'm going to

an hour.

Edith, you got that job?

Yeah. Oh, that's terrific.

Holy,

what do you mean terrific?

Congratulations.

Don't you see there's some families
being run to send us here?

You got no job.

She can't take the job. I know why she
can't take the job. Even if I let you

take that job, it would never last.

Why not?

Because they'd soon find out the whole
truth.

What truth?

That you was fired from the Sunshine
Home.

They know about that already.

The whole story?

Yeah. What?

He's got to get back to that storeroom.
I don't got the key.

You lost it already? Here's another one.

Here's the bar.

Wait a minute.

What is this between the two of you?

What's this coochie -coo? No, no, no.
Yeah,

I know it well. What is it?

I never heard of it.

I'm going to get myself a new outfit for
my new job.

Maybe even a pantsuit.

Oh, you ain't going to do that. Good.

Hey, Murray, please, huh?

This happens to be a thing between
husband and dingbat. You can't help me.

I'll see you tomorrow.

You gotta help me, Murray.

Me?

Yeah, you.

I'm only a temporary partner.

Well, all right, then help me as a
friend.

Am I your friend?

Can you make believe?

We're friends.

What do you want, friend?

Tell her not to do this.

So long, stranger. Wait a minute, wait.

Now, you know that this is wrong. Now,
who says so? A woman ain't supposed to

work. What if she wants to? She's not
supposed to want to unless she has to.

Like my mother, she wanted to, she had
to. We need the money she took in the

washing and the ironing. But my old man
was always so ashamed of that. Because

he couldn't support his family.

Right. But you can't support your
family. Right. So you've got nothing to

ashamed of. Right. So either can go to
work. Right.

Just a minute now.

We're forgetting something here. Now
what? Another problem, another problem.

The child.

Oh, you're afraid she's going to feel
neglected and unloved, is that right?

Right. Because Edith is away all day,
right?

Right. But you're away all day, right?

Right.

Stephanie knows that you love her,
right?

Right. So being at home has nothing to
do with it, right?

Oh, Archie, just remember what chutzpah
means.

It means guts, nerves.

Keep your nose out of my business, huh?

Oh, well.

Me trying to hold back the tendencies of
this world like a poor salmon trying to

swim uptown.

I want to talk to you, and you're going
to listen to me.

You know that in a human schedule, you
worked out for this child on Monday,

Wednesday, and Friday.

And Tuesdays and Thursdays. Yeah, them
two.

What about him?

Well, you better write it all out for
me, yourself, again.

Oh, oh, gee.

I love you.

Just give me the words, Harry. Leave the
notes for the nuts.