Original subtitles

Hey, Barney.

Hey, Art.

Hey, I'm glad I caught you, kid.

Listen, this is your lucky day. I'm going to make you rich.

Hey, could you make me rich tonight? I'm a little late for work. No, no, wait a

minute. Cut that out a minute. Come here.

I want to talk to you.

When you hear to York, I'm going to make you. You want to kiss your job goodbye.

What the hell are you doing? Drink a beer for breakfast.

Coffee keeps me awake on the job.

What's on your mind?

I want you to take Harry's place at the bar. I want you to be my partner.

Why me?

Because I need a partner. If I don't want some creep, I don't know. I want

I'm very flattered, Arch. I think you better call somebody else.

I already called everybody else.

Come in with me, Barney.

A half interest will only cost you $24 ,000.

Hey, that sounds like a pretty good deal. Huh?

I don't think I have quite that much in my savings and checking account.

Well, how much you got, kid?

$112. What the hell did you do with all your money?

I've told you a hundred times.

Blanche blew it. You know that.

All ain't lost, Barney. Why don't you just mortgage this dump?

What? A home, a beautiful home.

No, it's a dump.

Like Blanche loved.

If Blanche loves it so much, why the hell does she always run away from it?

Because she loves the TV repairman more.

Put that out of your mind, old Barney. All we can do now is wish them both

well.

I do.

I do.

I just wish he'd straighten out the TV picture before they left.

Oh, of course. Didn't he even do that for you? No.

And now...

Every time I see a horizontal roll, I think of Blanche.

Oh, please, I ain't got no time here.

Give me an answer.

No, and that's final.

What kind of a pal are you?

And I thought you and me was tight. I thought we was close.

Like Abercrombie and Pritchard.

Come on, Art.

Don't be sure.

Oh, gee.

Hey, how about some bacon and beer, huh?

Here,

give me some.

Goodbye,

Tante Gussie.

Goodbye, my mama.

Where are you running? I got an appointment, Mama. Did I hear you

inside? No, no, no.

I'm not leaving. You're not leaving? Good. Come, sit down.

All right.

No, I'm not leaving today. The painters are leaving my house Tuesday.

Did I hear you looking for something inside?

Yes, and I found it. Stamp?

No, Mama.

Check. No, Mama. Cash?

No. Your bank book, huh?

Mama, I am about to make a big move.

Don't get married.

No, no.

I am going back into business.

Thanks, Scott.

What kind of business?

Well, Mama, you remember when I was a little kid, don't you?

Remember when I... I gave up that paper route and I went out into the beach and

I was selling fudgicles and popsicles and Dixie Cups, you know. You remember

that? I used to like to be around people, you know.

Made them happy, made me happy.

I just loved selling that ice cream.

You're going to sell ice cream again?

No, Mama.

Boots.

Boots?

I gave Conlon my schnapps.

I hate that.

Now, don't you think that's a good idea? Booze!

It's just a neighborhood bar and grill. We're going to have a nice little

restaurant. Booze! Booze is for bums!

What are you talking about? There was always booze in this house.

Don't you talk about your father like that.

Father, God bless him. He had an enlarged heart.

My father, God bless him, had a five -foot liver.

It would be a wonderful business, and the best part is that I can walk to work

from my house. You hear? I can walk.

I taught him to walk. He's telling me he can walk.

I heard that.

I heard that.

You can also walk to the river.

Do you have to jump in? Mama, a man is waiting for me. Bye -bye.

Martel? Martel!

Is that the way for a son to leave a mother?

Contagasi's a stranger?

Girls, I don't want to be late for this appointment.

Don't wait up for me, Martel.

Otherwise,

the joint looks in pretty good shape.

Over there is where Bunker wants a breakthrough for the new restaurant.

Hiya, gents.

Oh, Harry, I still don't understand why you're giving up such a good thing.

Cause I don't know food. I know booze. So what's the big difference?

You ever try watering a turkey sandwich?

No point delaying this. If Harry's ready to sign...

I am ready to pay. I'm ready to sign. Just show me where.

I ought to be perfectly honest with this man, Harry. I told him Bunker's a very

hard man to get along with. Listen, I get along with everybody. You wouldn't

believe my last partner. He thought that Nixon should still be president.

After a guy like that, Archie Bunker's got to be a breath of fresh air.

Not fresh.

At least familiar.

Right.

And, Harry, here's a check.

24 ,000 bucks, huh?

Drinks for everybody!

Well,

client, what can I say but... Come on, have a drink with us. No, not just now,

thanks. I left the client on hold.

Goodbye, client. Come on, Harry, goodbye.

Mr. Levy, thanks.

And here's a nice little martini for you, Mr. Klein.

Here's to luck.

Here's looking at you.

Harry,

you know that you are the finest bartender in Queens.

I try.

You know, I think that you ought to stay on and work for us.

Sorry, Mr. Klein.

There's nothing in this world that could keep me from retiring.

Nothing. How much salary did you take for yourself?

Tips aside, I took 200 a week.

You got three.

I just came back out of retirement.

Well, I'm here to tell you that after the events of today, I can only call

myself a dope, a real dope.

Instead of cultivating the final.

people in this world.

I spend my whole life surrounding myself with deadbeats.

Oh, I don't mean you, Mr. Van Rester.

Uh, listen, uh, is there any money in your family?

There was.

I drank it.

Now, look at you.

S -rays on the bar, puddles all over here, and you stand there chewing the

with Rocky III here.

I wasn't chewing the fat.

I was conducting some business.

This here gentleman is your new partner.

He just bought my half of the...

This here is worser than Pearl Harbor.

This, Harry, is a day that will live in infancy.

I said the name is Klein.

Oh, I'll get to you in a minute.

Selling out to this guy behind me, behind my back.

What a lousy trick to pull on me.

If you think I pulled a lousy trick on you, think of what I'd done to him.

Yeah.

Drink your drink there.

And convoys amongst yourself.

All right, now, we better just sit down and straighten this whole thing out,

Cone. Line.

Whatever.

Partners.

Partners.

Well, what the hell do you know about running a saloon?

It's a business. I can handle it.

But you don't know nothing about it. You don't know the kind of work we do here.

Why, the hours along there could wreck a marriage.

I'm not married.

Why are you not married?

Not anymore.

And never again.

What are you, uh, you living with somebody?

Right now with my mother and my aunt.

girlfriend?

No.

Now, not that it matters to me, you know.

I'm one of them live and let live guys.

But would you, by any chance?

a simple no.

That wasn't no simple no.

Well, there's only one way to find out.

like it, I know why you ask.

What the hell are you still doing here? Shouldn't you

be checking in on some unemployment line?

I'm staying on as bartender.

Who says so?

Your new partner.

You took him on without consulting with me?

Harry's got a big following.

Do you feel crowded in here?

Archie, I have seen this place at night. I've seen it on weekends.

Harry is good. And if the restaurant is good, we'll be crowded all the time.

I gotta get some bottles, Arch. Would you hop behind the bar?

Why don't you hop behind the nervous horse?

Don't be telling me what to do. I'm a boss.

You're a worker. What do you want from in there?

Two rye, two vodka.

Well, then I'll get it for you. And you get back where you belong.

Now, I ain't got no time to, uh, what do you call it, bandage words with you.

Of course, I got my work to do.

Well, what do you want in here? I want to see the stock.

You stay the hell away from the stock.

Now, listen, partner, half of it's mine.

You ain't my partner.

I'm afraid I am.

And I've got some paper right here to prove it. Paper don't make a

A partner's in here.

Well, why don't you start using what's in there?

Listen to me, Bunker.

I'm the only one who believes in you.

I am the only one who wants to do what you want to do. I am the only one who is

willing to bet his bankroll on you.

Now, you need me.

You need me, Bunker. Without me, you're nothing.

You'll never have a restaurant. You'll never be able to get one.

And if you don't see that, brother, you are one prize -winning meathead.

Where did you ever hear that voice?

My old man used to call me when I didn't make any sense.

Sit down, will you? Huh?

Just a minute here.

Now, uh... Well... Okay.

Uh, maybe to you, I seem like a, um... a meter.

But I think I make sense.

Well... I don't want you for a partner.

But what's more important, you ain't never gonna want me for a part. What are

you talking about? I'm only trying to tell you. You heard what Harry said out

there. I, uh, I seem to bother people, you know?

I haven't noticed.

Well, neither have I, but that's what people tell me, so there must be room

me.

How? Well, it's other people.

Maury, you see, they're doing the wrong things, or they're thinking the wrong

things, and I try to straighten them out, and that bothers them.

It wouldn't bother me. Oh, Maury, geez, in your case, it'd be much worse if

they're because you're Jewish.

Not that you don't go meet you at a golden boat again.

I'm only trying to say that you'd go nuts with me.

Of course, you could never learn nothing.

If I try to straighten you out on any of the major problems of life, we

are so different, you probably wouldn't know what I was talking about.

And I know that I wouldn't know what I was talking about.

But that's the way it's always been down through the ages, you see, as between

Gentile and Jew.

I just

mean it's always been some guy like me

making no sense at all to a guy like you.

Sad. Oh, very sad, but very true.

And that's why even today, everywhere, you see Jews...

Walking away from Gentiles, shaking their heads, looking sad, saying,

Oy vey.

That means, what the hell did I just hear?

You know that.

So.

So what you're saying.

Is that we don't have a chance, right?

A Jew and a Gentile ain't got a Chinaman's chance.

I know, Lee.

I know there's a wall between us.

Now, I'm not saying that we put it there, but don't you think that between

should try to knock it down?

No, don't worry.

Ken, Ken, Ken.

Do what I mean. That there is... That's work for the angels.

And there ain't no more angels down here.

Okay.

Okay.

I'll try to get a hold of Levy.

Have him work out a deal for us, okay?

I guess there must be some way that you can, you know, buy me out. Oh, jeez,

Mommy, I hope so. I hope so. Yeah, you ask Levy to work on that.

Oh, jeez, look at this over here behind you. Will you look at this?

Now, hey, there's Harry for you, huh?

There's the guy that you hired back for me, see? This is his job. Take all these

empties down the alley and put them way out there by the street, you know?

Hey, he does nothing. He leaves me to do the whole thing.

Come on, give me a hand. Oh, no, no, no. Hey, no, no. You don't touch that. Hey,

you ain't a partner.

This is my work.

Why don't you call Levy right now on the phone there, Murray, huh?

You can call them all right from there.

Do that.

Oh, hey, little girl.

This is a saloon. No minors allowed.

Not a minor. and I'm Archie Bunker's niece.

Oh. If you stepped outside, I'd be right back. Just tell him I got the skates

and he was bottom.

Okay, I'll tell him. Tell him they were $80.

$80 for roller skates?

It's okay. We charged him. Bye.

Now, I'm going to ask you something.

That.

Why are you wearing the Star of David?

I'm Jewish.

You were his niece?

It's a long story.

But you know what he had to do?

Join the temple so I could go to Sunday school.

He's still steaming about that. Because it goes a lot more than roller skates.

Did he buy you that?

Sure.

I've got one, too.

There it is.

I bet he didn't buy you yours.

No, I got that from my grandmother a long time ago.

It's pretty.

I gotta go. Tell Uncle Archie I couldn't wait. Okay, listen. Hey, come here. Go

back.

What's your name?

Stephanie. What's yours?

Marie.

I'm Archie's new partner.

Uh -oh.

I can give you some good advice.

I'm ready.

Don't ever show him your star.

Bye.

Jeez, my back is broke carrying that box.

Did you call up Levy? Yeah.

Oh, geez, he put you on hold?

Oh, no. We had a nice talk.

Yeah? Well, what'd he say?

Well, he said he'd be able to work something out. You know, take a little

to draw up a note for the time, terms, you know, things like that. Oh, yeah.

the sooner the better, huh?

Sooner the better. Yeah.

Well, I gotta heft out the other box here, huh? Well, look, let me give you a

hand as long as I'm not busy.

Take your leavey a little time to fix up some papers there.

Might as well make myself useful.

Oh, what do you mean by that?

Well, I'm a partner until I'm not a partner. Hold it, hold it, hold it. Oh,

a minute.

Uh, you're a... No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let's just put it this way,

huh?

Until you ain't a partner, you're only a partner.

Well, in that case, you can help me out.

This is the best of money, because... You and me, we could be friends in a

million years, you know. Oh, two million. Oh, a billion.

Well, split the difference. Oh, well, we split the difference in two and a half

million, huh?

Easy, Murray.

Don't drive me into the wall, huh?

Watch out for the cat. Watch out for the cat.