Original subtitles

Amen.

No one moves when you work from here.

What do you want little one?

Well done.

Who... Who are you?

Frank Drebin.

Police squad.

This is the version.

My name is Sergeant Frank Trevon, Detective Lieutenant of the Squad,

Division of the LAPD.

The day after the bank robbery started like any other, I woke up in my empty

apartment. They added a picture of my deceased cop wife and choked back cop

tears. A perfect morning? Sure.

But I had no idea what this city had in store for me.

Thanks, everyone.

What is this?

Don't cheer for him. You two, my office now.

Thanks to you, I just spent two hours getting chewed out by the mayor.

Apparently, some of the bank robbers you put in the ICU, they're lawyering up to

sue the city. That's ridiculous.

They're criminals.

It's the law.

Since when do cops have to follow the law?

Since forever.

Oh, yeah? And who's going to arrest me? Other cops?

Yes. Is he serious? Is he serious?

No, he's not. Let me be crystal clear.

They are threatening to shut down police squad because of you.

Honestly, you're lucky you still work here after last year's McDonald's

incident. They wouldn't sell me freedom fries.

You arrested the entire staff.

I wasn't thinking clearly.

I was furious about the Janet Jackson Super Bowl.

That was 20 years ago.

Not to me. We understand you.

You're right. Good.

Because I'm taking you off the bank job.

What? I'm putting you on collision.

There's a crash up in Malibu.

Yes, ma 'am. Thank you. And make sure your body cams are actually turned on.

Got it.

Camera will be on.

Drebbit, it's a new day at police squad.

I guess you really can't fight City Hall, huh? No.

It's a building.

Now, there's a real man.

They just don't make him like your pops anymore.

I'm glad he's not around to see what police squad has come to.

Mind if I take him in there, Dad?

Of course.

Hi, Danny. It's me, Frank Jr.

I want to be just like you, but at the same time, be completely different and

original.

So, if you're proud of me, give me a sign.

Maybe make me see an owl or something.

Hey, Dad.

It's me, Ed.

Boy, do I miss you.

after the Malibu car crash around 2 p .m. Nothing unusual.

But in this city, usual is unusual.

Musically.

How was your day last night, Frank?

I cut myself through a little bit.

You canceled?

No. I didn't want to upset her, so I had Officer Bond tell her I was stabbed to

death. You're a real romantic, Frank. But everyone needs someone.

Even a widower like you. I'm just not ready to open myself to love again.

Have them wait to clear the wreck so you can get eyes on it.

Crash happened around 4 a .m.

Also, no skid marks on the road.

You didn't hit the brakes before going over.

Drunk? A little. Just enough to wake me up.

Fancy car.

That's one of those new Eden Tech electric ones.

Electric, huh?

I remember when the only things that were electric were eels and chairs.

And Catherine Zeta -Jones in Chicago.

Empty pill bottles.

Who was he?

Simon Davenport, 53 years old, no wife, no kids.

He's got a sister out in Hancock Park, but we don't really know anything about

her other than her name.

That's Davenport.

The fourth, 5 '6", 130 pounds, spitfire of a personality, self -proclaimed

chocoholic. Likes outdoorsy things, but is just as happy curling up with a good

book.

All right, I've seen enough.

The market is suicide.

Go ahead.

What's up, Blanche?

I know you're off the bank job, sir, but I could really use your advice.

Go for it. Look, it's a strange thing.

All the thieves have never met each other, and none of them knew who they

working for.

Brilliant. If they don't know anything, they can't screw you.

Whoever orchestrated this is very smart.

And get this. The robbers were told that they could keep the cash.

Who organizes a bank robbery and doesn't keep the cash?

They must have been after something else.

Why don't you bring in one of the perps? See if we can get them talking.

Got it. Thank you.

What is up, Frank?

You got a visitor.

I told her to wait outside, but she just walked in.

You want me to get rid of her?

No.

That's okay. I'll deal with it.

Oh.

Over here, Lieutenant.

after my wife died. But this woman was put together in all the right ways.

Face, head, shoulders, knees and toes.

Knees and toes.

And a bottom that would make any toilet beg for the brown.

She had to give you away to me.

Excuse me.

May I help you?

You're wrong about Simon Davenport.

He wouldn't commit suicide.

Simon Davenport?

The stiff from the Malibu Clash?

That stiff was my breaker.

Oh, I mean, he wasn't that stiff, really. Not yet.

Or floppy and bloated.

No, I mean, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Please, take a chair.

No, thank you.

I have plenty of chairs at home.

Now, Mrs... Davenport.

Miss.

Well, he called me last night. He said he was in some kind of trouble. So we

made plans to meet this morning. Does that sound like someone is planning to

kill themselves?

No, it certainly does not.

Why would someone do that to you?

Trust me, there's always a reason to kill someone.

Did he have an obnoxious laugh?

No.

Forgive me, I'm just not myself.

That's okay.

I'm not you either.

What did your brother do for work?

Computers.

He was a programmer for Richard Kane.

The genius is going to save the world with his electric cars.

Well, he's the first person to talk to. I need to check Simon's driving records

and see if they match. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down there.

Excuse me?

Let's just leave the police work to me, okay?

Oh, I see.

Same old story with guys like you.

Guys like me?

Stubborn old men who think they know what's best.

I understand you're upset, but this is what I do.

If someone did off your brother, I'll find him.

Oh, I appreciate that, Detective.

But Simon was all I had.

So forgive me if I don't just sit around and hope you do your job.

That's exactly what I expect you to do.

When I have something, I'll contact you.

I'm doing a series of book readings this week.

You can find me there.

Book readings?

Yes, I write true crime novels based on fictional stories that I make up.

Yes. Well, you may write about it, but I'd live it.

Now, if you'll excuse me, we're having a birthday party, and I'm the best singer

in the office.

One second, bud. I will take that chair.

I remember the last time someone had talked to me like that.

It was the kind of dressing gown you usually have to pay for in the basement

a laundromat.

She had the kind of hips you wanted to put a hula hoop on and spin.

The kind of... Tell us, do you mind?

I wasn't convinced Simon

Davenport had been murdered.

But the case was starting to give me an ache.

When I start to scratch, I don't stop till I break skin and the doctor makes

wear mittens.

Richard Kane had made his first fortune in microprocessors.

Then he used it to build a vast online retail marketplace and green technology

empire.

Then, suddenly, the bear charges towards me. I ready my knife.

And he barrels right past me. To a honey hive above the campsite.

It had been there all along.

And I hadn't seen it.

Ah, he's arrived.

Lieutenant Trevon.

Me too, Richard. We came.

Please, welcome me.

So, what can you tell me about Mr. Davenport?

Simon was a brilliant engineer.

One of our best.

I had no idea he was so terribly depressed.

Suicide. Drift, Simon.

Possible suicide.

Did you expect to be found?

No. The chicken probably couldn't do this.

But I'm not ruling anything out. I see.

Was this one of the projects Simon was working on?

No. What you see here is a red light therapy machine. Proven to increase

testosterone. Did you know that men's sperm count is at a stark low?

Across the board.

Fascinating.

I've never put my sperm across the board.

I have an old Don Jovi t -shirt for that.

You know, I hope you don't think it's awkward in my saying this, but I'm

actually a big fan of yours.

Is that so?

Yes. I read about your work at the bank robbery.

Guys like you are a dying breed.

Guys like me? Yes. Men of action.

Don't ask permission to fix what they know is broken.

I'm surprised to hear you say that, coming from someone who's so into these

gadgets. Oh, you don't enjoy the marvels of the modern age?

No offense, but the world was better before.

I agree, but don't tell anyone.

A cigar?

Looks good to me.

Would you like one?

Smoking and dory?

Can't right me to think of.

That matchbook.

I've seen it before.

The Bengal.

It's a summer club I own for some of the city's elite.

It's the kind of place where men can be themselves, have a few drinks, and like

the Black Eyed Peas once said, get retarded in here.

You're going to go say that, Gord?

In my club you can.

Well, I love the Black Eyed Peas. Who doesn't? I know a few people. They're

fools. I know.

Well, I am Apple.

Taboo. Don't forget Fergie. I would never forget Fergie.

The doctor.

Well, if you need anything, please don't hesitate to call.

Thank you. I'll be in touch.

It's that way. Of course.

Why don't we get Mr. Drebin a little gift for tomorrow?

The Eden Box One.

We squad first ever fully automated self -driving electric vehicle. A gift we

just received from Richard Kane.

You must have made some kind of impression last night, Frank.

Yeah, we seem so.

Coffee? Yes, thank you.

Don't be shy, fellas. Come check it out.

Smug.

All electric.

0 to 50 in 3 .1 seconds. I guess that's good. Watch this.

Car, open the door.

Now you talk.

half a dozen witnesses that place you on the scene. We know you were at the

bank. I'm telling you, I wasn't there.

Thanks, partner.

This is quite the rat seat you've got here.

Says you served 20 years for man's laughter.

Must have been quite the joke.

You mean manslaughter?

So what was the point of the robbery? What did he want?

I wasn't there.

You're so smart.

Well, I think my body cam might tell a different story.

Ed?

Technology really is something.

Police squad is all about transparency these days.

Dispatch, this is driven.

champions. A little black coffee.

Okay. We can fast forward a bit.

License and version of choice, please.

This is a mine.

Excuse me.

Oh, boy.

Listen, you seem like a decent fellow. I'm going to let you off with the

warning. Have a great day. Bye.

It's much later in the day. Fast forward a little.

You'll see. Just wait.

Another soup.

Orange.

Bunch of milk on your chin.

Don't you dare.

Don't do it.

Don't eat it.

Oh, God.

I had five more that day.

Feel better, Frank?

You better believe it.

Yes. That's you inside the bank.

We missed it.

Okay, fine.

Whoever we was working for, they was crazy.

I mean, they just wanted us to get some safe deposit box.

Safe deposit box.

Yeah.

Lux 595.

Ed, check the list.

Yep.

You're not going to believe this one, Frank.

Simon Davenport.

When you joined me to launch Eden Tech, it was with one goal, to save the world.

Together, we've created technologies to rival the gods.

Has the world gotten any better?

No.

It's only gotten worse.

Now, when the founding fathers created this country, they sat in a room like

this, filled with men like us, and birthed an empire.

The USA.

Yes, that's right.

But as years went by, other, People want to get into that room. Fish people.

What? Fish people.

Gills on their necks.

I don't know. Like mermen and merwomen.

Mermaids, right.

No, stop.

Not fish people.

Ungrateful people.

People that did not earn their seat at the table.

People not built like the men in this room.

Crab hands.

They had crab hands instead of fingers. Stop. I know what I mean.

So just let me do the talking. This is a crab hand.

I've met him. Put the phone away.

Now, it's time for us to admit that the path we're on is not working.

The system is broken.

What are we going to do when the system is malfunctioning?

You won't plug it.

And then, you plug it in again.

I call it the primordial law of toughness device.

Let me show you what it's capable of.

Last year, we set up cameras at the local community center, decided to run a

little experiment.

The question, what would happen to modern humans if we reverted their sight

an original state of nature?

When activated, the device sends an audio frequency that reduces the brain

its animalistic core.

The frequency was limited, but next time, it was bred to every smart device.

until the entire world is infected.

As for us, upon that nation, we will decouple to one of my super bounties

the world, where there will be food, water, and the best live entertainment

world has to offer.

What's up, evil billionaires? I am so excited to be doing live shows for as

as it takes in the Doomsday Giggles Bunker Room, located in Block 4 of the

Arizona District.

See you there!

I'm in paradise.

And when the embers have died down, Any survivors left will earn their place

alongside us, and we will return to a world that has been a blank place upon

which we can rebuild as the founding fathers of a new Eden.

Gentlemen, ladies, this new Eve I give you, Project Inferno!

It turned out that Kane's nightclub was only half a mile from where Simon

Davenport crashed.

And that got me thinking. Maybe he had been there the night he died.

So I hopped into my new electric cruiser and told it to head to Malibu.

Please take the wheel.

Warning. Please take the wheel.

Please take the wheel.

Please take the wheel. Please take the wheel.

Please take the wheel.

Please take the wheel.

Please take the wheel.

What can I get you?

I was wondering if you could help me.

I'm looking for a friend who may have been here before.

No. I haven't seen him.

You hardly looked at him.

I saw enough.

You don't remember me, do you?

Should I?

My brother. You shot him. In the name of justice.

There could literally be thousands of people. You shot him in the back as he

away. Hundreds.

Unarmed. At least 50. He was white.

So you're Tony Roiland's brother.

That's right.

How is old Tony?

Are you serious?

Dad?

Right.

So your friend. Maybe I have seen him. Maybe I haven't.

I can't remember.

You can't remember, huh?

Nah. Well, maybe this will jog your memory.

Good.

That's better.

Remember now? Yeah, I remember. He said in a corner booth he had a drink.

That's all I know.

Where did they keep surveillance footage?

In the back.

Even I'm not allowed in there.

And there she was again.

I had to admit, she was beautiful.

She had a body that carried her head around.

And a butt does seem to say, hello, I'm a talking butt.

Elegant? Yeah, I'd say so.

But like a teenager with three babysitting jobs, I didn't need another

babysitting job.

Hello, Lieutenant.

What the hell are you doing here?

Don't take me anywhere.

Told you I wasn't going to sit around and wait.

Listen, this isn't one of your stories.

Average civilian women don't suddenly walk home.

Oh, where's my butt?

I think it's a fantasy.

A woman puts on a wig and sun glasses and suddenly she's an assassin.

I can try and tell you.

Yeah, it's a good part.

Ah! Look at the threbbin'. I've been wanting you for a long time, my sister.

Good. I've kept it that way.

You're a wonderful surprise.

Fine, thank you.

Beautiful place you've got here.

Can't come out of the dead animals at all.

Thank you.

Uh, can I get the book?

It's just water.

And who is this stunning creature?

I don't believe in that.

Why, ma 'am?

It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me.

It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me.

It's me.

I was hoping you could let me take a look at your security footage.

May I go on? Go right ahead.

Unfortunately, I can't show you the security footage.

Our members trust that we will provide them with the highest level of privacy.

I hope you understand.

I'm turning to them.

Well, thank you so much for the drink. It's getting late. We really must be

going. So soon?

I hope you don't leave too much to get in. Yes, he's leaving too.

Her bed is covered in dolls.

Oh, spaghetti.

Please stay for a drink.

You don't mind.

Do you, Trevor?

Be my guest?

Wonderful. I'll get it to you.

You get the footage. I'll keep them occupied.

Absolutely not.

this place is amazing thank you spaghetti i mean i think really i prefer

you're much too sophisticated for the likes of frank dredd oh i'm not with

oh well that's wonderful

What are you moving on lately?

Oh, let's not talk about work. Let's talk about play.

Do you like jazz?

Like it? I love it. I love it.

Sir?

Yes,

sir?

This one's for my electric new friend, Richard Gay.

Wow. Sounds like I'm kicking in D.

Make it extra lumpy, boys.

I know

we said fighting is a lot like jazz music.

A scat like is law. For whom no one really knows, it's the sound of their

Whoa!

We need his muscles lined. Rub it on and...

that the driver might be more of a problem than we thought.

I want you to keep an eye on him.

Make sure he doesn't cause anyone to crash.

Davis, this better be good.

He did what?

But something's easy to do in here.

You wake up my husband, I swear to God.

I'm sorry.

What the hell are you thinking, Peter?

Ricky, he is a very careful man. And he knows how to help people make sense of

their city, including when your car is driving.

We just gained his day.

He's involved in a time -and -time -important murder. By the way, that

just two.

Do you want to pray? Sure.

It's you.

It's not you.

Why'd you stand up and try to hurt me?

Listen, I feel for you. I really do. But I had to beat up a lot of hands on you.

I'm your uncle's daughter.

Oh, come on.

You wouldn't have seen it if I didn't help you. Oh, come on. That's it.

No, just excuse me. I'm tired.

I'm hungry.

You're not worried that we're going to make a run?

Good.

I can go with her.

How did it go?

Good. 50 hours easy.

I mean, like a camel.

And then she died.

So we're moving on. She could have gone through.

She was the sweetest woman we've ever known.

Or maybe I didn't go through with her.

We would have been happy with anything, really.

And that was the most.

Quite a view you have.

You know, I'm drawn to the hills ever since I moved here for college.

Do you see a light?

I see it every day.

I live here.

I'm afraid I don't want to offer.

However... All that turkey talk outside got me in the Thanksgiving mood.

I think I have a full turkey around here somewhere.

But more often it's filthy.

I don't like this.

I like a dirty bird.

You aren't lying. This evidence is debatable.

It sure was fun to talk about the 31st.

It would be unsanitary.

Well, hot wine is the most important part. It sure is.

Uh -oh, this is my buster.

He must have smelled what's going on.

Silly dog, that's not for you.

It's so strong.

Look at that.

How about some nice scratches instead?

Oh, the love is in your eyes. I see a parasite.

The love that I found. I put love to the truth.

There in every cycle.

Won't show a clue.

Love in my heart. Can I feel it?

Let them say we're crazy.

relaxing weekend away with death.

It was time to get back to the case, so I called the LA Chronicle news desk to

follow up on Douglas O 'Reilly, who was informed that he hadn't made it into

work, so I headed to the police.

Dr. O 'Reilly, Lieutenant Franz Rubin here for the police call.

up to some kind of red liquid.

You got any paper towels?

I'm dragging it all over your place.

I picked up your knife for you.

Where do you want it?

First record say your name and say I did it.

Lieutenant Frank Drebin.

I did it.

Okay.

Riley, that you?

And that's when it hit me. Like an idiot's finished jigsaw puzzle, I was

framed. I needed to clean the crime scene.

No body, no pain.

Hiding the body was no longer a notion.

Freeze!

It's not what it looks like.

What?

I said stop.

Hello, Drebin. Mind if I take the wheel?

King, what's going on? I've taken control of the car.

It's a little trick I have when I want to fix mistakes.

So that's how Davenport died.

He didn't drive himself off a cliff. You did. Now you're getting somewhere,

Detective. But not before he spilled your secrets to that reporter.

So you went and killed him too?

I didn't kill him, Frank.

You did. You're the crazy cop who stabbed the reporter and then drove

into the ocean.

Hell, I am.

There's no escape, Trevon.

I'm just a little sad that you won't be there to see what I have in store when

the New Year's Eve balls drop.

Oh, well, have a nice evening.

Oh.

Hi, Susan.

You got it.

Frank, you okay? Where are you? Never mind that.

I know how Simon Davenport was killed. It was Raker King. He drove him off the

cliff. Well, there's a warrant out for your arrest.

You're claiming that you killed a reporter.

Say it isn't so.

It ain't so, Ed.

Here's another thing, Frank.

The mayor got rid of this whole mess and they're pulling our funding.

What? We thought it shut down effective immediately.

That's all because of me. I'll fix it.

Do me a favor, Frank. Lay low. You got it. Thank you, Ed.

Excuse me. Do you have a phone I can use?

Thanks.

As soon as I could, I called Beth to break her the news.

It wasn't easy, but I hoped it would bring her some peace.

What the hell?

Something big and more tomorrow for New Year's Eve.

I'm willing to bet it, whatever it's time on the phone to warn us about.

What do you mean, something big?

I don't know.

The people could be in danger.

I see.

Frank, I have a confession.

When my brother called me before he died, he told me some things that I

told you.

To what?

He told me he was working on some kind of therapeutic device.

Something to calm people down. But he was worried now that someone could use

to do the opposite.

Calm people up?

He just told me that if anything were to happen to him, I needed to do whatever

it took to stop the device.

Those were his last words to me. So that's why you inserted yourself into my

investigation? Well, at first.

And that's why you showed up at the Bengal Club?

Yes.

And that's why you pretended to love me?

No, Frank.

No, how could you say that?

I can't believe I opened myself up to love again.

I wrote that whole song about it. I rented studio space.

That's my TiVo that I lent you yesterday so that you could watch season one of

Buffy so that you could start getting my references.

I know that, Frank. And I specifically told you not to plug it into the

internet. Oh.

Oh? That's an ethernet cord going from my TiVo directly into your router, where

the internet comes from. I was just trying to plug it into the electricity.

now they might be expired. That means gone.

No musical special.

No thunder.

No bike.

No Cordelia T.

No Daniel Oz on the part. No Willow Meets Her doppelganger on the part.

Nothing. Sorry, I didn't know they were coming.

Frank,

we're in the middle of an important conversation.

Ed had dug through the bank footage and identified a man who flipped out the

back, who also happened to be Kane's head of security and right -hand man.

If anyone knew Kane's plan, it would be Ed.

We needed to get him along and put the squeeze on him, but we had to do it on

our own way, off the books.

We're on our way now.

You're not my normal driver.

This isn't my normal car.

That's not my normal guy.

This is the normal way I'm going.

Hello, doctor. He's waking up.

Thank you.

January 2nd. He's been here... for three days. Three days?

Can you turn that up, please?

That won't be necessary, Morse.

Hello, Mr.

Gustafsson. You, to write the theme, your little plan, it didn't work out.

We've stopped it.

But you guys won.

Kane's in jail.

And here's the bad news for you.

He's singing.

You told us you killed Simon Davenport and that reporter.

I thought you might get the chair for this.

Yeah, I might. I might?

Mm -hmm. Then tell me what really happened.

Yeah, right.

Tough guy, huh?

You know what happens to big, pretty boys like you and Sam Quentin?

Ooh, they're gonna love you.

Are you talking about?

Oh, yeah. I've seen it a hundred times.

Massive cutie pie like you.

You'll be very mouthy.

Or stay in. Probably have your mugshot go viral online.

The Sexy Jailbird.

Congrats, you're famous.

Okay. Then one day, you'll be standing on a hands -on legal toll.

And suddenly, you're free. You're back on the street.

It's not bad. Only now, you've got a minute to uphold.

The Sexy Jailbird.

Stick a bite of curd. Hello, intermittent fasting.

You like ramen?

Well, it's all broth for you, baby.

Not to mention, there's a new sexy jailbird now.

And he's all about body positivity.

He's eating burgers on the prison Instagram when you're starving to death.

But you're branded. You can't change court now.

So you decide to end it.

There! Bullet in the head!

I won't do that. But you miss.

You only get the part of the brain that regulates fart.

Now you're a new meme farting guy.

Is that what you want?

Maybe Harding Guy knows.

Come on. Tell me. Harding Guy. You love it. Tell me. Stop it. You love it. It

was all team plan. It wasn't my plan.

What was?

I ain't lost the frequency.

No, I wouldn't infect people's brains in 10 minutes.

What was the point of that?

At the WWFC fight downtown in the night. Where was he going to put the device?

I don't know. Here. Ball.

The Ball.

I want a lawyer, okay?

I'm sorry that we framed you. I'm sorry.

Did you get all that?

Every word.

I don't have much time.

What?

What is happening?

Oh, getting a confession like this is legal.

Sometimes to get the job done, you have to break the law.

I do it all the time.

Did we get all that?

Internal there, you're under arrest for the illegal detainment of Stig

Gustafson. No.

Ah, sir, you set me up.

Impressive. I just want to thank you. How were you able to build these sets so

quickly? I just told some city contractors that I'd sold their licenses

didn't know first.

Did you get all that?

Loud and clear.

Victor Gutierrez, Department of Occupational Safety and Health. Officer

you are under arrest.

Thrilled to be joined in the broadcast group by one of the most vicious bare

-knuckle brawlers from the first season of WWFC, Dan the Bloody Widowmaker Daly.

Welcome, Dan.

It's weird. I left my wife at home and she was wearing makeup. Said she didn't

have any plans.

What do you think that's about?

I don't know. Me neither.

And of course, none of this would be possible without tonight's sponsor, Eden

Peck's Richard Kay.

The boys in the lab alone may need special earplugs. They block digital

frequencies. So if that bomb does go off, we're protected.

Nice work.

Now, where's Kane? Kane is in the skybox.

What about backup?

There's no backup.

What? The one in from mobile. Let's confess and confess.

We coerced him. Haven't you ever heard the Miranda line? What? I pity you.

It's sorry, but right.

Amanda is a lawyer.

Charlotte's an air dealer.

Samantha's a whore.

What? What is it?

I don't need to call Beth for hours.

Excuse me.

Come here.

Hi! From scary downtown Los Angeles!

This is the main event of the evening!

Is that...

Yes?

Love your new look. Thank you.

Please, join me.

Check,

check. I'm on my way to the boss.

Okay, prank comes working.

I'm in commission.

We have 25 minutes.

Hey, one beer, please.

We're closed.

Come on, one beer's not going to kill you.

One beer.

Good luck.

How much?

It's free. Get the hell out of here.

Ed, can you hear me? I can hear you, Frank.

Uh -oh. I think one of Ken's goons is up there.

Frank, can you hear me?

Somebody's up there, Frank. A guy is up there, Frank.

Is that Ed?

Never mind.

The tension in this arena is palpable. The moment of truth is here,

folks. You won't know your number.

I especially like the part where the erudite housewife transforms herself

would -be assassin seeking revenge.

Hiding her.

And another in

the small of her back.

And a shotgun in her beautiful red

wig.

Hey, you got free beer?

No, there's not free... Oh, boy.

Frank,

can you hear me?

It's as though we're having some technical difficulties with the New

I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't.

I can't.

I can't. I can't. I can't.

I can't. I can't.

I can't.

I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't.

I can't.

I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't.

I can't.

Where we find something quite magnificent.

The main event, if you will. A grand bratwurst.

Fit for the imperial court of the Kaiser himself.

Or maybe a loaf of unbaked bread wearing an afro wig.

I got it. I got it.

I'm going to get out.

All

right.

Get security down there now.

Something to see here, folks.

Police business. Please, hurry up. All right, buddy.

Time to go.

Now, listen to me, good.

My name is Frank Trevon from Police Squad.

This event is now open. Everyone vacate the premises immediately.

Now. Okay, playtime's over. Give me the mic. Don't take another step, buddy.

That's it.

Oh, my God!

Would you like to watch me and a real man together?

All right. Goodbye, everyone.

Have a good night.

All right. You, you, come with me. Tell everybody to put in their frequency

plugs. I heard two. We don't want to hurt what crazy you're doing. Wait,

Frank. The device has some lights on it.

Various holes.

Ways above.

Two and a half. Three dogs.

Got some sort of timer on it. Thinks up to midnight.

Hello, Detective.

What's happening?

Stop right there.

Don't do it.

Think about it, Drebin. Everything I'm doing is for guys like us. Guys like us?

Yes. Powerful, righteous men.

I should give a damn.

You said it yourself.

The world was better before.

Four wheels move the body.

Two wheels move the soul.

Famous quote I got.

Coke .com. Hey, boss.

Yeah. What do you want me to do with her?

Leave her here.

She'll be back by morning.

You saw us go on a ride, right?

Yeah!

Stay back.

I don't want to hurt you.

What do we do?

Come on! We're now waiting!

Just like old times.

Come on!

Let me get this guy first.

Got him.

Okay, this guy on the right.

Come on, Daddy.

Stop playing around.

Thanks.

That's him. Little Lord.

Okay, here.

You've got the spear shot.

Thanks.

That was no fun.

You still got it, Daddy.

madness, Trevin.

This is progress.

Progress. The needs of the few should never outweigh the needs of the many. It

was a time when you knew that.

So it's come to this.

The culmination of our journey.

All this, this stuff that's taken place between you and me.

This, uh... Thanks, Dave. I got it for you. I'm so sorry. I messed up the lines

a little bit. No problem.

We did great. See you Sunday? See you Sunday.

Okay, game.

Please, no!

Get off me!

No!

Isn't it beautiful?

Exactly as nature intended.

Two great Kodiak bears facing one another in an epic battle for dominance.

If it's a fight you want, very well.

actually been in a fight before?

Yeah, I have.

Oh, my God. I think I'm gonna bark.

Is that normal?

You wanna keep fighting?

What? No.

My tummy still hurts a lot.

Well, in that case, I'm gonna arrest you. You can't arrest me.

You still didn't catch me. There's nowhere to run. I won't be running.

I'll be flying.

I won't be hurting anyone anymore.

It's over.

Not for me, it isn't.

Lee, think about this.

Killing him won't fix anything.

Why should I let him live?

It won't bring Simon back.

You don't know that for sure.

You're right.

Anything is possible.

But you have to let the justice system do its job.

That's rich coming from you.

It's with his, Beth.

Once you kill a man for a man, there's no going back.

It stays with you forever, following you like a shadow.

A voice in your head saying over and over, man, that was awesome.

So put the gun down, if not for me, then for us, for our future together.

I love you, Beth.

Don't throw it all away for a few seconds.

The best feeling you would ever have in your life.

Oh, wake up.

You've got the promotion.

Not bad for a stubborn old fool.

I guess old men really are the toughest, smartest, most capable, sexiest beings

on the planet.

Oh, Frank.

You made me a very happy woman.