Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

[ominous music]

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

PSYCHIATRIST: So Sam, what would you

like to talk about this week?

You know, they have been tracking Jack

Frost for over three years.

Now Sam, I thought we agreed last week that we're

gonna try and discuss something other

than the Jack Frost incident.

Across 11 states, 38 deaths.

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick.

Jack gouged eyes with candlesticks.

He smashed their skulls with sticks and stones, used to iron

bars to break their bones.

He hid his kill in tiny places.

So he wouldn't have to see their faces.

Until I caught him.

He was tried, convicted, sentenced to die.

And then there was the accident.

[laughs]

What's that?

Nothing.

(WHISPERING) Go on.

As Jack was traveling to his execution--

(WHISPERING) Come here, come here.

SAM (OVER THE PHONE): The vehicle that he

was in collided with a tanker.

Tanker contained--

[shushing]

Secrets government genetic acid.

Jack was dissolved into the snow.

[laughter]

But you don't believe Jack Frost died, do you, Sam?

Oh, no.

No, he didn't die.

He changed.

[laughter]

Why don't you tell us--

Me.

Tell me what he became.

SAM (OVER THE PHONE): He became--

A mutant killer snowman.

[laughter]

And then that frost snowman started to take apart my town.

But tell us how you finally stop--

[laughter]

[beep]

Yes, Sam.

Tell us how you finally stopped the mutant killer snowman.

With antifreeze.

[laughs]

And what happened to this antifreeze

that this mutant killer snowman was dissolved?

We buried it.

In an unmarked grave.

PSYCHIATRIST: And, uh, where is this alleged grave?

I told you before, Doctor.

We all swore to secrecy.

Yes.

So that, and as I told you before,

your delusion remains intact.

No.

So that the killing stops.

[jazz music]

You sure this is the one?

Oh, well-- you sure there's a reward?

Yeah, there's a reward.

Well, then this here's the one.

This is where they buried that antifreeze.

[grunts]

So, uh, what you fixing on doing with this stuff anyway?

I can tell you, but I'd have to kill you afterwards.

Then again--

[gunshot]

[music playing]

(SINGING) Merry, merry Christmas, baby.

I hear you've been fooling around again.

Merry, merry Christmas, baby.

I hear you've been fooling around again.

Playing with your Christmas stocking, hoping the fun

won't ever end.

Merry Christmas, baby, merry Christmas.

Merry, merry Christmas, baby.

I hope you have loads of fun.

Merry Christmas, merry, merry Christmas.

Merry, merry Christmas, baby.

I hope you have loads of fun.

Merry Christmas, merry, merry Christmas.

Whether playing with your snowman

or lounging in the island sun.

Merry Christmas, baby, merry Christmas.

So merry Christmas, baby.

But you just better watch your back.

Merry Christmas, baby.

Watch your back.

Merry, merry Christmas, baby.

But you just better watch your back.

Merry Christmas, baby.

Watch your back.

'Cause if you don't think Frost is nipping, then

maybe you just don't know Jack.

Merry Christmas, baby.

[vacuum]

[suspenseful music]

[yawning]

JACK FROST: Hmm-hmm-hmm.

Things to do, revenge to take.

Ah.

Well, that's it.

They're late.

That's a sign.

We shouldn't be going.

No, it's a sign that there's traffic, Sam.

A traffic sign, get it?

Get it?

What about Ryan?

Honey, he hasn't seen the cousins in years.

He'll have a wonderful time.

What if he needs us?

He has the number for the hotel.

Sam, if you really don't wanna go, we won't.

OK, but Dr. Morton said we should get away together.

And you promise Joe you would be his best man.

Do you know it was exactly a year ago it had happened?

Yeah.

And that's why we should be somewhere else for Christmas.

Somewhere with no memories.

Yes?

Hey, guys!

Joe!

Hurry up!

Here comes the groom.

Come on!

[laughter]

I know, we're late. Oh.

Thank you.

Here.

Thanks.

WOMAN (ON INTERCOM): All passengers please

report to gate B16 immediately.

[tropical music]

[laughing] Ah, yes.

Splendid.

Ah, the guests.

[honking]

Morning, Bobby.

Colonel.

Another beauteous day in heaven, aye?

Yes, indeed.

Oh my god.

This is so cool.

I can't believe we're here, you guys.

Ah! - Ah, now.

Now, that's Rose, Ashlea, and Paisley.

Here we go.

COLONEL: First vacation without the parents.

Now-- now, they think they're looking for adventure.

However, what they'll discover is

the true meaning of friendship.

Isn't that sweet.

Look at this light!

You can slit my throat now, I've seen it all!

COLONEL: Oh, I say.

He's scrumptious, aye?

Now-- now, they're here on a calendar shoot.

Are you sure this is all-inclusive?

That's right.

All the food we can eat?

Honey, you can purge to your heart's delight.

Mm, put that big tiki in my room.

COLONEL: However--

Ah, no, no, don't tell me.

They're gonna discover a whole "beauty more than skin

deep" thing.

(LAUGHING) Absolutely, yes.

This is so great.

They're gonna to have archery and karaoke and a party

and there's snorkeling--

Oh!

A free buffet for you, honey! - Oh, free buffet!

Honey, I hate karaoke.

Oh, honey.

Yeah, you know, Colonel, not everybody

has to have a life story, man.

Some of these people, they're just here on vacation, man.

[laughs] Absolutely not.

Everyone here for a reason, yes.

Mark my words.

Ah-ha!

- Ooh, shells. - Wow.

ANNE: Great.

COLONEL: Here we are, yes.

[laughs] You must be the Fosters.

MARLA: [laughs] Not yet.

COLONEL: Oh, no, Quite.

No.

Here for the jolly old wedding, eh?

Well, welcome to the Tropicana.

Your last resort before paradise.

Now, I'm the Colonel.

You have any problems, you come to me at once.

I want you to stay here to me everything short of heaven.

[laughter]

Well, you'll be in our honeymoon suite.

Let's go look at our room!

[laughs]

And you, sir?

Uh, we're the Tilers.

Oh, oh, yes.

Here for your second honeymoon.

[laughs] No, no, no, no.

We're just here to relax. - Oh.

Oh, no, no.

No, all arranged by your husband here.

Yes.

You'll be on our second honeymoon suite.

[laughs]

Honey, second honeymoon?

Mm-hmm.

If you'll have me?

I will.

Those aren't rocks.

Those aren't rocks.

How could they be rocks?

They don't look like rocks. Those aren't rocks.

They can't be rocks. Those aren't rocks.

Those aren't rocks-- - Shut up!

We don't need a compass.

We don't need a compass.

Why do we need a compass for?

Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!

I'm hungry.

It's not time.

Jeez.

We're lost.

How do you know what time zone we're in?

Oh!

You don't!

So I say we're in the time zone that's about to sit

down in a big, fat lunch.

A carrot?

A lousy carrot?

Where is the damn candy bar?

And it was yummy.

[laughs]

Then this is mine.

No.

All mine.

No!

[groaning]

Mine, mine, mine!

Mine!

JACK FROST: Mm.

One down, one to go.

Closer, closer.

Charlie?

[grunts]

[dramatic music]

[gasps] Oh, fuck.

Uh!

JACK FROST: Slashing through the raft.

Thank you through the nose, I'm off to the islands.

[upbeat music]

Red flag and off we go.

[suspenseful music]

Huh?

There's a party and I'm not invited?

Someone's gonna pay.

[upbeat music]

[laughs] Bobby's angels, what can I get for you girls?

I'll have an Asahi.

Ooh, Asahi sounds good.

I'll have an Asahi too.

Yeah, make mine an Asahi.

And, uh, three boys on the side.

Oh, let me see what I can rustle up.

Ooh!

By the fountain, Hawaiian shirt, beer.

No!

He's so grandpa.

[laughter]

PAISLEY: Oh!

Umbrella, white tee, coconut cocktail.

Ooh.

Closet.

No way.

Oh, yes way.

I think what you girls are looking for is

behind door number three.

Ooh, bad boys.

[laughs] Come on.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Mm, now that smell like trouble.

Come on!

[laughter]

Ooh, hi there.

Hi.

Ah!

Hi there, sweetie.

He's taken, so you can say, "bye-bye."

Bye.

[laughs]

JACK FROST (IN SAM's MIND): I'll find a way!

Looks like we have us a party-pooper duper!

Sorry?

Has the grump monster stolen your happy dust?

This is a job for Captain Fun!

Un-- un!

Look, I'm-- I'm fine.

I just a--

But Captain Fun, he seems so sad.

How will you ever save him?

Good point, Activity Boy.

I may have to use the secret weapon.

[yells] Come on, everybody.

It's karaoke time!

Karaoke, you gotta be kidding me.

ALL: (SINGING) Bells on bobsleighs ring,

making spirits bright.

What fun it is to ride and sing a sleighing song tonight.

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.

Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh, hey!

Hi there, again.

[jazz music]

[grunts] This is the life.

Warm tropical breezes.

It's better than that cold.

No ice.

No snow.

Uh--

What?

What?

You don't-- you don't think I can say it?

I can say it.

Look at me.

Look at me.

Listen, snow.

See?

No-- no problem.

Look, listen this.

Snowman.

[laughs] OK?

How-- wait, no, no.

Mutant killer snowman--

Shoot, Sam.

Hey, you know, Anne doesn't want me talking

to you about that stuff.

Oh, listen.

It's all in the past, buddy.

Ancient history.

Hey?

BOTH: Getting married.

[laughs]

Almost married.

[laughs]

[screams]

[laughs]

[upbeat music]

How long did they say they'd be?

Like 10 minutes.

Hmm.

It's already been that.

OK.

[laughs] So, how are we splitting them up?

Well, I say we let them choose.

No, forget that.

Right.

We should, like, pick straws or something?

No.

First come, first served.

No.

[laughter]

Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo.

Doo, doo-- mm, what have we here?

No, seriously, guys.

Three of us, two of them?

Well, Dean is so cute.

Uh-huh.

He's all mine.

Says who?

No, if he was flirting with me any harder,

he would have been arrested.

Oh, god.

I'm serious.

OK, girls this fire's dying.

While you two fight it out, I'm going to get more charcoal.

Charcoal.

I was feeling a little under-dressed.

Oh and, um, by the way, Dean's mine.

So you should probably be fighting over Ben.

Which one's Ben?

Oh, wait.

Is Ben the cute one?

Dibs on Ben!

[laughs]

[suspenseful music]

JACK FROST: Bombs away.

Oh!

For crying out loud.

OK, OK, OK.

Here we go again.

Ah.

Oh, you gotta to be kidding me.

I must be out of practice.

Oh!

Fuck it.

[crash]

[splatter]

Did you hear something?

She probably just dropped the charcoal.

Ash, need a hand?

She so--

Oh, I know.

I'll help her out.

[suspenseful music]

[splashing]

Hey, Ash?

[screams]

[suspenseful music]

Guys?

Come on, guys.

Ash!

Paise!

This isn't funny!

Come on, you can come out now, OK?

JACK FROST: Ooh, tongs!

I'm so scared! - [screams]

JACK FROST: I don't know whether to shit myself

of grab the barbecue sauce.

[laughs]

[gasps] Who are you?

JACK FROST: Winter.

Get away from me!

JACK FROST: Ooh, feisty.

I like it.

Where are you?

JACK FROST: Oh, maybe I'm here or maybe I'm not.

Maybe I'm here.

Here.

Or maybe--

[screams]

I'm right here!

[screams]

Up and at 'em!

Whoa!

Hi.

OK.

Archery for beginners in one hour.

What are you doing in here?

Captain Fun is chasing away the hangover grumps.

What is going on?

Mrs. Tiler, this is no time to be a jet lagged slacker.

Come on you two!

[grunts]

Oh!

Hope your aim is that good on the archery range.

Get out of bed!

Ugh!

Well, how about I just hurry over there,

give you a morning hug, then come back over here.

[giggles] No.

[giggles]

Honey, we sleep together at home.

But we're not at home, are we, sweetums?

But this place, this is so romantic--

Oh, you don't wanna ruin peach bottom's wedding night,

now do you, sweetie?

No!

So you stay over there, OK?

OK.

[chuckling]

Flakes need more raisins, Bobby.

Hmm, yes.

Needs a dash of paprika, oregano,

and a hint of rosemary.

What have we here?

[chuckles] Yes.

Fruit salad needs some orange, Bobby.

[laughs] Oh, what a spread.

Uh, this is living.

Wasn't like this in India, you know.

Lucky if you had a plate of cold rice for breakfast then.

[chuckles]

[screaming]

Damsel in distress on the beach.

Look lively, lad.

No, no, no, man.

You don't go running toward the screaming.

Didn't your mother ever teach you nothing, man?

All right, all right, nothing to be alarmed about.

Whatever it is, I've seen it all before, yeah.

Back in India, had to saw my best

friend's leg off with a broken teacup and use it as a weapon.

Ah.

[ominous music]

Take your point.

Grisly sight.

You two were staying in the hotel?

Oh, excellent, excellent.

Well, uh, how about your room service bill is on us and you,

uh, you never saw a thing, eh?

Yeah?

Excellent!

Excellent, all settled then.

Off you go.

[chuckles]

All right, what up and now?

Another coconut fall on somebody's head?

Get me the head of island security.

Get me Manners.

Oh, no.

Not the scary dude.

Yes.

The scary dude.

AGENT MANNERS: Not so fast.

Scary dude's already here.

Ah, Manners.

Nasty business, this.

Sort it out in time for tea, eh?

You've got a third MV on the beach.

No? MV?

No, you've lost me.

Murder victim.

Murder?

Nonsense.

[flies buzzing]

Shark attack.

[laughs] Yeah, would a shark do this?

[flies buzzing]

SAM: Hello?

I heard screaming.

Is everyone all right?

COLONEL: Yes, yes, yes.

Everyone's-- everyone's fine.

Yes.

Slight, um, accident.

Nothing serious.

Uh, there's a body?

- It's just a, uh-- - Murder--

Shark attack!

Attack.

Another attack of the murderous coconut shark.

COLONEL: [chuckles] Now, this is our head of island security.

This, um, this is Manners.

Used to be with the FBI.

Agent Manners?

[dramatic music]

Oh, you must have me confused.

I'm Manners, head of island security.

No, no, no.

Last year in Snowmonton--

Trust me, Sheriff.

You've got the wrong guy.

Well, then how do you know that I'm a sheriff?

Ah-ha!

[laughs]

Look at me!

Look at my face, look what he did to my face.

15 operations to make it like this.

His icicle fangs and his pointy.

Nose I live on an island now.

And there's never, ever any snowmen.

And I'm very, very happy.

Do you get it? - I got it.

I got it.

I'm sorry.

Whatever you say.

No problem.

Now, we've got us a coconut shark to catch,

if you don't mind. - Yeah, yes.

Jolly good idea, yes.

Back to business, everybody.

Uh, Mr. Tiler, I believe they're serving a breakfast buffet,

yes.

Yeah, yeah, sure.

You have a lot of shark attacks around here?

Not really, but--

'Tis the season.

[ominous music]

Right, you'd better contact the authorities

on the big island and give them the lay of the land.

And, uh, Bobby?

Play it down.

It's nothing significant.

Colonel Hickering, I don't like the situation.

We'll have to warn the guests.

Absolutely not!

Something like this gets out, before you know it,

the whole place is closed down and you'll be out of a job.

Colonel, you've got a murderer on the loose.

Nonsense!

Shark attack.

And a very nasty cooking accident.

Cooking?

Now look.

There's no need for alarm until the authorities

tell us otherwise.

God!

Back in India, those Punjab volleys had killed 150 of us

before the CO even gave the order for us to get out of bed.

Colonel.

Problem.

The phone line is dead.

What?

God, if it's not one thing, it's another today.

Right, let's go and see to the satellite.

Mm-hmm. Come on.

Chop, chop.

The satellites out?

Nothing suspicious about that.

JACK FROST: Aw, phone line's dead, huh?

Let's see.

Who's next?

[chuckles]

No.

No.

Yes!

Oh!

Well, there's your problem.

Looks like it done gone skinny dipping.

Well, can you fix it?

I don't know, man.

This a ex-satellite.

We need to be ordering a whole stack of spare parts

to fix this.

And how do you propose we call to order them?

The supply boat'll be here first thing tomorrow.

So until then, we're on our own.

Right.

Chin up.

Eyes alert.

Because friends don't let friends drink and surf.

So you finish that daiquiri first, OK?

[laughs]

COLONEL: Captain Fun.

Come-- come on in, for goodness sake.

Andrew, Kitty.

Good heavens, I've call a meeting here.

Now.

Seems we have a slight spot of bother on our hands here.

You have a murderer loose on the island.

Not the case at all!

Hello?

Can we get a drink?

Hey, where is everybody?

I don't know.

They said service not included, I guess they really meant it.

[laughs]

- Anybody here? - Hello?

Hello?

Bobby?

Now we all know that Mr. manners here

is prone to overreaction, yes.

I think we can, uh, we can all remember

the Colombian invasion affair?

AGENT MANNERS: You've got three bodies, no explanations.

Add that up, it spells trouble.

Why aren't the police here?

The satellite's out.

Now, I suggest you round up your guests,

lock them down and put the squeeze on them

until someone squeals.

Hey.

Now these people came here for a taste of island hospitality.

There will be no squeezing or squealing

on my watch, Mr. Fun-sucker.

COLONEL: Precisely, no proof of anything nasty anyway.

Put it all in the past.

Jolly good time had by all, eh?

Splendid plan. Off we go.

Show those smiles.

[laughter]

Go Sammy, go Sammy, go Sammy, go Sammy, go

Sammy, go Sammy, go Sammy, go--

[laughs]

Can't even leave for five minutes.

Work it, own on it.

Oh, shake that rear, baby.

Shake that rear.

Make me hot.

Make me hot!

You're so hot.

You're sweating.

You're perspiring.

Board.

That beautiful, wonderful gorgeous, darling!

Keep on posing.

JACK FROST: [humming] Da da, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum.

Dooby, dooby, dooby, doo--

Oh.

Ah, there's something that needs a little Christmas stuffing,

if you catch my drift.

You've been a naughty, naughty board.

Wonderful, gorgeous!

Oh, yes!

Lovely.

OK, film out.

This is so working.

Snowboarding equipment on a tropical island.

Someone tell me I'm not a genius.

Greg, you're not a genius.

Joke, Sarah.

Remember?

I explained those to you on the plane.

Right.

JACK FROST: Hmm, let me get a little closer to this.

[leaves rustling]

Did-- did you hear that?

GREG: Hear what, hun?

Uh, are you sure that there's no snakes here?

Well, nothing poisonous.

OK.

We're happening again.

Hmm.

Sarah, you're beautiful.

But we've lost the excitement.

[gasps] Oh!

Ah!

I'm getting a 0 on the nipple-y scale.

Oh.

I'm sorry, it's just that it's so hot out.

Do you have any of that ice left?

Oh, honey, I think we're all out.

But I'll go check.

JACK FROST: Ice!

That's my cue!

[chuckles] Ooh!

Me, me, me, me, me, me!

[interposing voices] Oh, I want it!

I'm so--

Oh, yeah!

I'm the man.

[grumbling]

Oh.

Thank you.

Ugh god, I hate this.

So cold.

JACK FROST: [laughs] God, I must have been a good boy this year.

Ooh, Romeo.

Ooh, yes, yes.

Oh, yeah.

Mm-hmm.

[chuckles]

Almost done.

JACK FROST: Oh yeah.

Ooh, we are going in again!

God, I think I'm in love.

How about it, honey, you and me?

I'll put all this chilling behind me.

I'll give it all up for you.

Just say yes.

OK, all done.

JACK FROST: Oh, all done?

All done?

(CRYING) What do you mean "all done?"

How could you do this to me?

After all we had together.

I'll get you, you cold-hearted little bitch!

Oh, one more thing?

Can I have an ice coffee?

Ice coffee?

Good idea!

Come on, boys, everybody into the pool!

[giggling]

Here you go.

Thank you.

This one is from all of us.

[chuckling] Oh.

You vixen, you.

Oh!

You can't be all nice-y nice to me

and expect me to forget how you just threw me away!

But that's so nice.

Oh, baby, rub me all over with your lip.

OK, OK, OK.

I forgive you, doll.

Oh, I forgive you!

Oh.

[screaming] No!

No!

That's it!

You are so fucking dead!

OK.

Mm.

I'm ready.

Let's try this.

Nice scarf.

Beautiful.

OK, Sarah, big smile.

[bang]

[music playing]

Oh, I guess it was decapitated coffee.

Let's take some Polaroids!

[chuckling] You'll need some props.

Oh, you look so beautiful.

Hold that pose.

Oh, lovely, lovely.

Mm-hmm.

Now for your close-up!

[screaming]

It's in the eyes.

[laughs]

[dramatic music]

MARLA: Oh!

Honey.

Did you hear that?

What?

The wind and the palm trees?

Children laughing?

The arrows flying?

People in the pool?

Cocktail shakers?

What?

What is making you frown so heavily--

I don't know.

I just felt something.

Something cold.

Sam.

You have to go through whatever it is you have to go through.

I just--

He's not still going on about Frosty boy, is he?

Marla--

Sam, come on.

Enough is enough.

So we had a really crappy Christmas last year.

Life goes on!

Except for Jack Frost.

And that is really the point, isn't it?

Woo!

Bull's eye!

Why do I still have this feeling of some--

Something whispering to me?

Maybe it's your time of month?

Who knows?

Sam, we love you, but you're getting boring.

And annoying.

You know, you really got to find something

new to complain about. Jack is gone.

Trust me on this one.

Bull's eye again! Woo!

Arrow connection!

Meet me in reception in 10 minutes.

Is that--

Don't turn around.

Someone might be watching--

Yeah, who?

Exactly.

Glad to see we're on the same page on this one, Sheriff.

What do you want, Manners?

Not here.

The walls might have ears.

I'll meet you in reception in 10 minutes.

Well, if it's so important, why don't you just

talk to me about it right here?

I have to pee.

[dramatic music]

Oh.

You alone?

Yeah, I'm alone.

You're sure no one followed you?

Well, I did a little tricky double back across the paddle

tennis courts, just in case.

So I could throw them.

Yeah, I'm alone.

Manners, what in the hell are you doing here?

Well, after that--

The thing last Christmas, I, uh, gave myself a leave of absence.

Oh, they fired you, huh?

Canned my ass right out the door.

I guess not too many people believe in killer snowmen.

Yeah.

I've been there.

Well, so, uh, what's this all about, huh?

We got us a case.

This is no "boo-hoo, you stole my fishing pole" case.

This a real "tongs in the eyeball,

chop 'em in into little pieces" case.

Not a shark attack, huh?

There's someone I'd like you to meet.

[ding]

Sam, I think you know our director

of island entertainment.

Oh sure, Captain Fun, yeah.

Mr. Tiler.

Captain.

It may surprise you to know, he's on our side.

That little performance back in the office,

that was just a ruse to allay the other's suspicions.

Yeah, well, I wasn't there, so I didn't see it.

Ah.

Well.

Pretty darn good performance if you ask me.

Well, thank you.

You know, I wanted to be an actor when I first

started in the biz, so you--

With you saying that--

Look, look, guys.

Uh, I'm not here as a law enforcement officer.

I'm just here on vacation.

So what do you want from me?

I've seen you in action, Sheriff.

I want you on our side.

Captain Fun has a plan.

Well-- well, what we need to do is give the killer

a false sense of security.

Lure him out into the open when he thinks no one is watching.

OK.

What's the plan?

Trust me.

You'll love it.

[upbeat music]

So this is your plan to lure the killer out into the open?

Isn't it the top?

Isn't this the same thing you suggested to cheer me up?

Yep.

And what if I forgot my wife's birthday or something?

Oh, yeah.

This would work great!

So basically your solution to every problem

is to throw a party and have people dress up like idiots

and then get them roaring drunk?

You'd be amazed at how effective it is--

Oh!

You gotta try the banana shrimp.

No, I'll pass.

It's integral to the whole plan.

I'm allergic to bananas.

Oh.

Hi.

Seen anything funny?

Don't even go there.

That's a very subtle costume you got on there, Manners.

Back in the bureau, we would call

this a reverse double negative.

I'm gonna check out the conga line.

Cover me.

Give me a beer, will you, Bobby?

JACK FROST: Say, pal?

How 'bout a smoke?

[dramatic music]

Excuse me, pardon me, pardon me, excuse me.

Excuse me, excuse, pardon me, pardon me.

Sammy, let's dance!

Sam's got a runner.

Why are you talking your watch?

Old habit.

Let's go.

What's with him?

[laughs]

[dramatic music]

Not this time, Jack!

[groaning]

Oh my god!

What have you done?

He was running.

I-- I was chasing him and he dropped his carrot nose and I--

You know.

He's unconscious, you idiot!

Now, we can't have the guests attacking the staff.

It's just not on.

I didn't think it was you, sir.

COLONEL: Well, I'm pleased to hear it.

We just thought we were gonna lure

the killer out into the open.

COLONEL: There is no killer!

The two most dangerous things on this island

are your imagination and Mr. Tiler's poor judgment.

I'm so sorry, Colonel--

Now.

The supply ship will be here in the morning.

They'll contact the police.

Panic over.

So I'd be grateful if you two would stop alarming people,

yes?

Right.

Everyone off to bed.

Bobby, give me an aspirin.

[suspenseful music]

SAM: Your suit-- still has a nose on it.

Yes.

Luckily, you didn't break that.

- But out on the ground-- - Sam--

No.

There was a carrot.

On the ground.

Sam, no.

[ominous music]

But I heard his voice, Anne.

Sam.

No, I did.

Not like it's in my head, I heard him.

You heard someone who sounded like him.

Anne, I've heard that voice every night of my dreams

for the past year.

[sighs] I heard--

No, you didn't.

You couldn't.

Because Jack Frost is dead.

He was dead before and he came back again.

Maybe something has happened.

No, it hasn't.

Nothing has happened.

Oh my god.

I just don't know how much more of this I can take.

Jack Frost is dead and he's tearing us apart.

Marla is right.

Sam, you are out of control.

You almost killed a man.

Tonight this poor innocent old man

is barely conscious because you just can't get over it.

I know.

Oh god.

I'm sorry.

Sam.

I love you.

This is a great second honeymoon, isn't it?

[ominous music]

JACK FROST: Ooh, wouldn't mind practicing

a little breast stroke myself.

Always test the water first.

Ooh no!

Far too warm.

Must do something about that.

Well let's stir this party up.

That's much better.

[muffled screaming]

What's that, honey?

No, I'm sorry I can't hear you, you'll

have to scream much louder.

[muffled screaming]

Oh, no!

Please!

Ah, now this is much more my style.

You know what?

I feel like a cold one.

Mm.

Or 12.

[laughs] Tonight's weather report, 20% chance of frostbite

and a 100% of death!

[tropical music]

[suspenseful music]

Honey, did you turn on the air conditioner?

Mm-mm.

Go back to sleep.

There is no air conditioning, remember?

Oh yeah.

Mm, if you're up, get me a glass of water.

Sure.

[sighs]

Honey?

What, sweetie?

I'm having that dream again.

ANNE: That's OK, honey.

I know you'd never leave me for Claudia Schiffer.

SAM: No, no, no, no, no.

Not that one.

The other one.

Endless winter.

ANNE: Honey, just think warm thoughts.

Like chocolate and marshmallows.

Anne.

I need for you to see this.

ANNE: Sam, just come back to bed, please--

I-- I don't think it's a dream.

[screams]

Oh my god!

Sam, what-- [screams]

Snowball fight!

I need backup.

You two, cover me.

I'm going in!

[screams]

Snow?

[upbeat music]

What's happening, Sam?

I don't know.

[laughter]

This is great fun, aye Mrs. Tiler?

Colonel-- Colonel, doesn't it strike you as just

a little odd that it's snowing?

Ah, no, no.

Oh!

Happened before.

Way back in, you know, 1800 and-- half sleep.

Yes, yes, a freak storm covered the entire island in white.

Of course, that, um, that was hail, not snow.

Same difference, what. [chuckles]

Oh hey!

Hey, now-- now!

Fellow's got to be ready.

[laughter]

What do you think, Sam?

I don't like it.

It can't be Jack.

Oh, don't ask Sam.

If the freezer's too cold he thinks it's Jack Frost.

Marla, why don't you come off it.

It was 100 degrees yesterday.

Temperature doesn't just drop 70 degrees.

Well, actually Sam, on Christmas Eve in 1924,

Fairfield, Montana, temperature dropped

84 degrees in just 12 hours.

Where do you get this stuff?

Discovery Channel.

I just love that about you.

SAM: That was Montana, Joe.

This is the tropics.

It doesn't happen down here, does it?

No.

There's only one person who could do this.

Captain Fun gives this a big thumbs up

on his Christmas fun scale!

[laughter]

Come on.

We're gonna build a sled run.

And we're gonna use surfboards as sleds.

Isn't that just the craziest?

He's here.

Oh Sam--

He's here!

I know he's here.

I know it.

That sled sounds like fun.

Yeah.

Oh dude, my beer's warm.

Bummer.

Hey, look.

Frozen pole.

[laughs]

Yeah.

Well, so?

Warm beer.

Frozen pole.

[laughs]

I don't get it.

Look, dude, you got to put your tongue to the pole.

Oh, dude, you think I'm stupid?

My tongue will stick.

I'll pour the warm beer down the pole

and it'll get cold again.

Yeah.

That's cool!

(MUFFLED) See?

It works!

Wait a minute.

Fuck!

This hurts.

[laughter]

Oh, bummer.

(MUFFLED) Yeah.

Hey, look.

Chicks.

(MUFFLED) Huh?

Uh?

Wait!

Don't leave me!

[groans]

Anybody out there?

Help!

JACK FROST: Yo dude, what's up?

(MUFFLED) My tongue's stuck, man.

JACK FROST: Oh, bummer.

Let me help you.

(MUFFLED) Oh, thanks dude.

JACK FROST: Now, this might sting a bit, bro.

(MUFFLED) Go for it, man.

JACK FROST: Cowa-tounge-a, dude.

[splattering]

CAPTAIN FUN: Hey, hey, look at all the snowballs I made.

Oh, oh, OK.

Oh, wait.

Oh.

I'll make more.

[ominous music]

JACK FROST: This one's for you, Sam.

He sees me.

I can feel it.

[yelling]

Get him, right there!

[screaming]

Oh no.

Sam.

Oh my god!

[screams]

[screaming]

It's another holly, jolly Christmas.

What the hell is going on?

[screams]

MAN: Oh my god, get out of my bed!

What the-- what the hell's going on?

[yelping] What?

Hey!

Cut it out!

[yelling]

They're playing my song.

[rock music]

Can you see anything?

I'm looking.

What is wrong with everyone?

Jack Frost is not here.

Oh yeah?

Then what the hell is that?

MARLA: [laughs] Oh, for Christ's sake, Sam.

That is not Jack Frost-- they just built that!

Sam, no!

Hey Jack!

You remember me?

I sure as hell remember you.

Sam, don't!

These folks around here, they don't know you like I do, Jack.

They think you're cute and innocent.

Like butter wouldn't melt in your mouth.

See this, Jack?

Know what this is?

This is concentrated antifreeze.

And I've been wearing it around my neck for a year,

just waiting for you to show your ugly face again.

Now, it's time for you to die again, Jack.

How 'bout it?

Are you ready to scream?

Aye.

Oh shit.

Miss me?

Hmm?

Jack?

Oh, you remember.

How sweet of you.

[laughs]

[gun cocks]

Huh?

Oh, gotta go.

Wee!

Manners, where'd he go?

AGENT MANNERS: He melted!

He was right here.

He melted in the snow!

Get inside!

Hold on a minute!

Don't tell me that is Manners!

JOE: Agent Manners from last year?

He got a lot cuter.

What the hell is he doing here?

It doesn't matter!

Did you see what direction he went in?

Straight down.

See? I told you.

It was Jack. I told you!

I felt it all along-- - it can't be Jack.

How the hell did he get here?

He fly first class?

Marla, we don't know, but you saw him with your own eyes.

Hey, if Agent Manners is here--

I had nothing to do with it.

Now let's get inside!

How did you know?

I don't know.

It's as if we're linked somehow.

As if I'm a part of him or he's a part of me--

I wanna know what a government agent is doing here.

I'm not a government agent anymore.

I've retired to this island.

Oh, come off.

It's true, Marla.

He's been here for months.

But Jack's here not because of him, because of me.

MARLA: Oh, come on, Sam.

We don't even know if it is Jack Frost.

No, Marla.

It's probably some other walking, talking snowman

that everybody's talking about!

ANNE: What the hell is going on here?

You brought caulking on our vacation?

Well, it could come in handy at any time.

MARLA: Ugh, it looks like somebody's

got a little obsessed here.

[grunts]

ANNE: Guys!

Guys.

We can't just barricade ourselves in here.

MARLA: Oh, I don't know, Anne.

This could be the first same thought Sam's had in a year.

Seal ourselves in for the night, sounds good to me.

No!

We have to find the others and warn them.

We could draw straws.

AGENT MANNERS: No.

I'll go.

The island's my responsibility.

I'll go with you.

And I'll--

No, Joe.

You stay here.

That's what I was going to say.

Oh.

Well, looks like it's and me, Manners.

That's Agent Manners.

[dramatic music]

Yeah, OK.

Whatever you're comfortable with.

[suspenseful music]

Clear.

Honey?

Yeah?

I love you.

Don't worry.

I'll be safe.

Sam?

Yeah?

Good luck.

Yeah.

Sam?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Good luck.

Thank you.

No, you didn't pack any food in your supply,

so if you find yourself in the kitchen,

I thought you might pick us up some--

Never thought we'd find ourselves in this situation

again, I'm sure.

Well, it's not like before.

Before Jack couldn't just freeze things.

How the heck did he find me anyway?

I'm 1,000 miles from home.

2,340.

I check my air miles.

Who'd you tell that you were coming here, anyway?

Oh, come on.

That's ridiculous.

If Jack had asked anyone for directions,

he would have contacted me.

If they'd survived it.

[knocking]

[sighs]

(WHISPERING) I don't get it.

How did Sam know Jack was here?

You know, this whole time, I just thought he was losing it.

(WHISPERING) He thinks they're linked somehow.

Oh, please.

(WHISPERING) No, hold on.

Remember, the night Jack was melted, Sam was wounded, right?

Mm-hmm.

Bleeding into the antifreeze.

Well, maybe somehow their DNA got mixed up together.

(WHISPERING) No more sci-fi channel for you, honey.

(WHISPERING) Marla, think about it.

How else did Jack find us out here in the middle of nowhere?

[gun cocks]

[music playing]

What do you think happened to Jack?

I don't know.

I thought you buried him!

Yeah, we did bury him.

We had sealed containers, unmarked graves,

the whole nine yards.

Oh.

I hate it when the dead don't stay dead.

[door opening]

[slamming]

[screaming]

[clattering]

Stop!

[screaming]

Cease-- cease fire!

Cease fire!

Oh, what'd you do that for?

Mr. Tiler.

[chuckles] That puts us just about even wouldn't you say?

BOBBY: What was that thing?

All right, listen up.

I'll tell you exactly what you're dealing with.

Jack Frost is a cold-blooded killing machine.

Now he's-- he's also made of genetically

altered water molecules.

I'm sorry.

That's-- that's usually the place where

people start laughing at me.

OK!

OK!

Well, now Jack, he can freeze and unfreeze himself but will.

He can turn himself into water and come

right underneath the door.

So what we've got to do is find anything

we can to seal up the cracks.

We've got to make it as airtight as possible.

What about your wife?

They're OK, they're OK.

They're holed up in the room with a couple

of gallons of antifreeze.

Antifreeze?

It's the only thing that'll stop him.

We need to collect as much of it as possible.

Antifreeze.

OK.

Antifreeze.

This is a tropical island, for god's sake!

Wait a minute.

Is a antifreeze the same thing coolant?

Uh-huh

Well, we got drums of the stuff in a old storage shed.

Our generator drink it up like a rum punch, you know.

Let's do it.

[music playing]

You hear that?

What's that?

The fat lady's warming up.

[chuckles]

Wait!

Snow angel!

[laughs]

This is ingenious, Sheriff.

Did you know, back in India, we once caught a 600 pound

Bengal Tiger the same way.

Mind you, we had to dig a 12 foot deep pit

and use the CO's pet dog as bait.

[chuckles]

[music playing]

No, no, no, no.

Don't come telling me, "Bobby, somebody's gotta be the bait."

No.

Don't worry, Bobby.

I'll do it.

It's me he's after.

It's me he'll come for.

Don't worry.

I got you back.

[dramatic music]

Thanks.

[suspenseful music]

I say, if this creature's only after Mr. Tiler,

why don't we just let it have him and get

the whole thing over with?

Just a thought.

How you doing, Sheriff?

So far, it's a piece of cake.

[water dripping]

JACK FROST: Hey, how's it going, Sam?

MARLA: [gasps]

Hi Jack.

So, what are we doing?

Waiting.

Waiting for what?

Waiting for you to blow it.

Ooh.

Oh shoot.

Here I come, ready or--

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh--

Psych!

JACK FROST: [screams]

Yeah.

[cheering]

[tropical music]

Well-- well done, Tiler.

Really never--

[celebrating]

That's my boy out there, yeah!

I'm getting way too good at this, you know.

I'm getting way too much practice.

[laughter]

You ever want to get into official snowman removal--

You bastards!

Have you any idea how much this shit stings?

And I swallowed it!

I'll be hacking it up for a week!

- Shoot. - Fire!

Shoot!

Fire!

Oh, please.

This again?

Come off it!

SAM: it isn't working.

Why isn't it working?

Because I'm all new and improved.

Get back, everyone!

What's the matter, Sammy?

All out of ideas?

That should kill you.

The antifreeze should kill you!

Well, let me explain to you the inherent dangers

of unregulated genetic experimentation.

You see-- [burps] Oh.

Ugh.

Excuse me, I must have swallowed more than I thought.

[burps] Oh, somebody get me a Pepto.

[chuckles] Oh!

Ugh.

OK.

I'm out of here.

AGENT MANNERS: No!

We have to get back inside.

It's not safe out here.

Come on, Sam. - It didn't work.

- Come one, I know. - The antifreeze--

- Honey-- - it didn't work.

Honey, come on.

The antifreeze--

Sam, please!

The antifreeze didn't--

[dramatic music]

Ooh, don't touch it, you great lump.

Why do you have to poke around in everything?

I think it's just a snowball.

[suspenseful music]

Come on, Jack.

You're not afraid a little of me.

An eye for an eye.

[chuckles] Yeah.

[clock ticking]

How long now?

15 minutes.

I'm telling you, it's just an ordinary snowball.

Joe, if it's just an ordinary snowball then why

hasn't it melted in 15 minutes?

Well, antifreeze, you know.

That's what we used the last time.

Just the antifreeze.

Good old-fashioned antifreeze should just melt--

Honey, you're rambling again.

Oh, OK.

Anne is right.

We should get rid of it.

Absolutely.

Better safe than sorry.

It's just a snowball.

[cracking]

MARLA: What's it doing?

JOE: I don't know.

Wait a minute.

I think it's hatching.

Hatching?

[gasps] if that isn't the cutest little thing.

Oh yeah, a regular sweetheart.

Don't get too close.

Dada.

Oh my god.

Did you hear that?

Dada.

Yeah, I'll be your Dada.

[giggles]

CAPTAIN FUN: (BABY TALK) Yes, I will.

Who's a little fella?

You're my little chilly-willy.

Oh, you cute, little booger-boogie.

Kill Dada.

Huh?

Get it off of me!

Oh my god!

[screaming]

[giggling]

I got it!

I got it!

[giggles]

SNOWBALL: Here, here we go, here we go.

[giggles]

It's on the ground!

SNOWBALL: Over here, over here!

ANNE: Over here, over here!

Oh, oh! I got it!

I got it!

I got--

BOBBY: Kill that thing!

ANNE: I wanna see you break dancing, you little shit.

Huh?

[screams]

[laughter]

Yeah.

That was fun. [giggles]

JOE: What about salt?

We should see if salt hurts it.

Or heat it up on the range.

SNOWBALL: What?

No.

Microwave it.

That might do it.

Wrap it in a cloth and steam the little bugger.

SNOWBALL: No, that's not funnies.

[suspenseful music]

[giggling]

SNOWBALL: Everybody quiet.

[shushes]

[giggling]

ANNE (ON RADIO): Manners!

What?

If you find any more of those snowballs, don't go near them.

And that would be because?

ANNE (ON RADIO): They're vicious little killers.

AGENT MANNERS: Great.

Make a list.

Things that would have been useful to five minutes ago.

[screaming]

ANNE (ON RADIO): Manners, have you found more of them?

You might say that.

[giggling]

[screams]

Fucking things off of me!

[screams]

ANNE (ON RADIO): Manners?

Manners?

[dramatic music]

[giggles] Mm.

Toasty.

[grunting]

Hey, no, no, no!

They're indestructible.

Manners indicated there were more of them on the island.

Anyone have any idea where he was headed?

He just kind of ran off.

I don't know about you people, but I'm

going to lock myself in here and wait for the supply ship

to come.

COLONEL: Good thinking, Bobby.

The supply ship.

We can't let these things get off the island.

They split up.

What?

There's hundreds of them now and they'd separated.

Well, Sam, where are they?

You know, we'll--

We're gonna be all right.

We just have to get some antifreeze.

We're good, Sam.

Yes, dear.

All right, we need to find containers.

Containers with lids that close tightly.

Jars, bottles, anything that we can

trap these little creeps in.

Anne.

What are you doing?

I'm saving the day.

[dramatic music]

We can cover the most ground if we split up.

What about safety in numbers?

No, no, no.

Basic combat strategy.

When you're outnumbered, your best plan

is to confuse the enemy with as many flank

offensives as possible.

If we give these blighters a single target,

they'll-- they'll surround us and eat us for breakfast.

All right then.

Let's go.

Sweep every room and leave no corner unchecked.

Roger.

[tropical music] [giggles]

Party.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Oogie!

[laughs]

[laughter]

[screams]

[grunting]

Oh boy.

[squeaking]

Yeah.

Hand sandwich.

[growling]

[rattling]

[grunting]

We fill the back of the truck would antifreeze, see.

And then the antifreeze was there

and then it was sort of green.

And when I jumped into the antifreeze, there's Jack Frost.

He just-- - Sam.

Turned into antifreeze.

So what we need is antifreeze--

Sam!

If we could just find some antifreeze--

Sam!

One more word, and I'm gonna kill you myself.

[music playing]

[giggling]

SNOWBALL: Oops.

[giggling]

Whoa!

[screams]

[laughs]

SNOWBALL: I see you.

[giggles]

Get me, get me, get me.

[giggles]

[squeaking]

[grunting]

Sucks huh?

[groans]

You don't scare me, my chilly little friends.

Back in India, I was once caught by the Punjabi.

Bloody painful, I can tell you.

[chuckles] Softly.

Softly, Colonel.

Cunning of a fox.

Speed of a jungle cat.

[growling]

Sleeping, aye?

[chuckles]

[grumbles]

Yes, come to the Colonel, yes.

[chuckles]

SNOWBALL: Hello?

[giggling]

Yes, careful.

[giggling]

[glass shattering]

Don't hurt me!

I won't.

I--

Everybody's dead!

It was snowing and everything was really fun.

And then--

Hey!

Sweetcakes, snap out of it.

Now, what is your name?

Well-- well, my real name is Amanda.

My friends, they like to call me--

Amanda.

I am gonna get you out of here.

Now we are heading down to the kitchen--

What was that?

Hold on.

[screams]

[screaming]

Hey, ugly!

Come, Petey.

You can do it.

You can take her, Petey.

You-- like that, idiot.

You're dead.

Ah, Petey, Petey, Petey--

[screams]

Petey?

[chuckles] What is this?

Ugh.

Come on, it's some kind of cocktail.

What's in it? - No, honey--

Not now.

Anne, I really don't think it's the time

to be swapping recipes.

It kills them, it kills the baby snowballs, all right?

Now what the hell is in it?

Oh, that's Bobby's Island Daiquiri it got light rum,

just a dash of maraschino, lemon juice,

half a teaspoon of sugar, and a half a banana.

Blended to perfection.

MARLA: Oh, must be the alcohol.

That's like antifreeze, right?

SAM: I wouldn't like that.

I'll have a mint julep, Bobby.

ANNE: Not now, Sam.

Please.

I don't like bananas.

Honey, not now!

Bananas.

Oh my god.

Sam's allergic to bananas.

You remember a year ago when Sam's

blood got into the antifreeze.

Well, that's when they linked up.

Well, maybe when that happened, Jack

inherited Sam's banana allergy.

[laughs]

SNOWBALL: Let's see.

Whoa.

Oh!

Cut that!

MARLA: Ugh.

Banana daiquiri, anyone?

[music playing]

You know, these organic cookies are pretty darn good.

Let's get it on.

[gun cocks]

Huh?

[gasps] Uh-oh.

Oh no!

[screams]

[chuckles]

[screams]

[gunshot]

[ominous music]

[groaning]

JACK FROST: (GENTLY) There, there.

Come here, it's OK.

It's OK.

[groaning]

Oh.

Easy.

There, there.

[gasping]

Now it's killing time.

So who won the war then, aye?

[chuckles]

So what do we do with it this time?

Bury it twice as deep as we did last time?

We'll come in first thing in the morning

and hose the whole place down.

No one will be any the wiser.

Be open for business in a week.

Colonel.

You got 18 bodies to explain, man.

Food poisoning.

Oh.

No, no, that wouldn't look too good either, would it?

We'll just say the plane arrived.

Nobody on board.

[laughs]

[screams]

Oh, shit!

Ugh.

Ugh.

Oh.

Honey.

It's after midnight.

Today is our wedding day.

[music playing]

For better or for worse, I promise

to love and protect you.

I do too.

I now pronounce you totally fucking dead.

[screaming]

Jack! Jack!

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack,

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack!

JACK FROST: I rode into town and I'm looking for the bitch

who killed my family!

Oh, no way out.

[screams]

Help me!

Anybody?

Somebody help me!

[screams] Anyone?

[screams]

Oh my god.

Oh, you son of a bitch!

You should've heard your babies scream, Jack.

You should have heard them scream.

Sam?

Sam?

Oh, honey.

You are missing the point.

Get it? Get it?

SAM: Hey Jack.

Huh?

Get this.

Oi.

Oh crap.

[explosion]

Anne!

Anne!

Anne!

Anne!

Annie!

Anne!

Come on, come on, Anne!

Annie, come on.

Anne.

[music playing]

Ah!

Anne!

[coughs]

[laughs]

Ugh, fuck, I hate Christmas.

So Sam, where do you wanna go next year?

Oh honey, do we really have to go anywhere?

Oh honey, it's great to travel at the holidays.

Sure, but something always goes wrong.

[gasps] How about Greece?

Greece? No.

Not another island.

Oh Sam.

[music playing]

Good grief!

What else happened?

It appears the island has been covered in snow.

Yes.

But that is impossible.

And yet, here it is.

Before our eyes.

Did you feel that?

Yes, I did.

But what was it?

I do not know.

It is coming from behind the island.

[screaming]

[crash]

[MUSIC - CHRIS ANDERSON, "MERRY CHRISTMAS BABY"]

(SINGING) Merry, merry Christmas, baby.

I hear you've been fooling around again.

Merry, merry Christmas, baby.

I hear you've been fooling around again.

Playing with your Christmas stocking, hoping the fun

won't ever end.

Merry Christmas, baby, Merry Christmas.

Merry, merry Christmas, baby.

I hope you have loads of fun.

Merry Christmas, merry, merry Christmas.

Merry, merry Christmas, baby.

I hope you have loads of fun.

Merry Christmas, merry, merry Christmas.

Whether playing with your snowmen

or lounging in the island sun.

Merry Christmas, baby, merry Christmas.

Dashing through the snow in a one horse open sleigh.

Ooh ooh, ooh.

Oh, the fields we go, laughing all the way.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Oh, what fun to take a ride on a swinging holiday.

Merry Christmas, baby, merry Christmas.

So Merry Christmas, baby.

But you just better watch your back.

Merry Christmas, baby, watch your back.

Merry, merry Christmas, baby.

But you just better watch your back.

Merry Christmas, baby, watch your back.

'Cause if you don't think Frost is nipping, then

maybe you just don't know Jack.

Merry Christmas, baby.

MARLA: Hello?

Anne?

Sam?

We're in here!

Joe Sterling, blow!

Open the door!