Original subtitles

[Opening music]

In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

Morning news, brought to you by:

Broadcaster "Nader Adawy El-Saryaqousi."

First up:

The school celebrates Mother’s Day today.

And woe to him—darker than the night—

Who doesn’t bring a gift for his teacher!

And right off the bat, so no one has excuses:

Miss "Afaf’s" address:

12 Shihab Street, Mohandessin.

Miss "Mona’s" address: 11 Shihab Street, Mohandessin.

The principal’s address: All of Mohandessin.

Is this kid gonna hijack the whole radio or what?

Listen, kid, we’ll catch him at recess and give him the beating of his life—

Then we’ll hijack the radio.

In sports news:

*"Zamalek" defeats "Al Ahly" 2-1, fair and square.*

[Cheering sounds]

What’s this? What… What’s happening? What, kid?

What, sir?

What are you saying, kid? What’s this nonsense?

- Huh? *- The match ended 1-1.*

No! There was a [in English] penalty for Zamalek, and—I swear—

The ref ignored it! Dad said the ref’s corrupt!

- "The ref’s corrupt"? - Yeah!

- And Zamalek had a penalty? - Yeah, a clear penalty!

- Shh! You’re banned from the radio. - Give me one more chance!

No chances. Shh, goodbye!

- You, come here. - No way!

- Fatty! Loser! - Enough!

Broadcast, go!

*Folks, correction: "Zamalek" drew with "Al Ahly" 1-1."*

[Cheering sounds]

That’s it, no more!

[Music]

♪ My homeland, my homeland, my homeland ♪

♪ For you my love and my heart ♪

♪ My homeland, my homeland, my homeland ♪

♪ For you my love and my heart ♪

In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

The school bulletin, brought to you by

broadcaster "Nader Adawy El-Saryaqousi."

Third grade news:

America announced yesterday

its occupation of Africa and parts of Asia.

Right now in America, they're finishing up in Europe as I speak to you.

When mom found out, she was shocked. She said to dad: "What's this, Adawy?"

"Is America going to meddle in people's affairs even more than this, Adawy?"

Dad replied: "Fawziya, I swear to divorce you, America is messing around!"

So folks, we all need to stage a protest after recess before my mom gets divorced!

Protest! Protest!

- Protest! Protest! Protest! - [Nader] Protest! Protest! Protest!

- [Cheering sounds] - Protest! Protest!

[Students] Protest! Protest!

- So, America's messing around? - Yeah, messing around!

- What did your dad say to your mom? - He said: "Fawziya, America's messing around!"

And what did your mom say back?

She said: "Let's focus on our own business, Adawy. Do you want pasta or eggplant?"

- Take off your shoe. - Why?

- Isn't America messing around, Fawziya? - Last warning.

- No, I'll calm down, I'll calm down. - No, my finger's stuck!

- Not another word. - I swear my finger's stuck!

- Take his shoe off! - Take whose shoe off?

I swear my finger's stuck, don't!

My finger's stuck, I swear!

What's it to me? My dad's the one who said it!

- Don't! Stop! - Huh?

"Isn't America messing around, Fawziya?"

[Screaming] Last... last warning, don't! Stop!

[Music]

In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

Dear viewers, good evening to you all.

With you is "Nader Adawy El-Saryaqousi."

We begin the 9 o'clock bulletin

with the most important news.

[Nader] The government issued an official statement yesterday

to combat corruption in all its forms and manifestations

wherever it exists and wherever it's found.

A high-ranking official source issued this statement

to the program "Good Morning, Egypt."

What's this? Mom?

Mom, what's this, mom?

- Mom, fix the picture already! - What, kid? You're yelling at me?

God! Fix the picture, Fawziya! Let the kid study in peace!

Brother, I'm exhausted! I've been filming the guard for an hour and a half!

And you, Saadiya, why are you bothering us like this?

I need to focus! You'll make us fail!

I swear, it's my bad luck that I'm busy serving your guests

while my own food's getting cold!

And now, dear viewers, here's part of the weather report:

A cloud of soot and asphalt is sweeping the nation,

and people's patience is wearing thin—complaints are piling up.

Our field reporter in the farmlands informs us

that the farmers are to blame because they're burning rice straw.

The farmers responded: "How can we burn it, boss? We'd rather eat it!"

Finally, congratulations to the Chest Hospital!

Now for the temperature forecast, God willing.

So, will the weather clear up, brother?

God willing, it'll clear up, Fawziya!

And it'd be even better if you left us alone and went downstairs to air out the apartment a bit.

This concludes our 9 o'clock bulletin,

"Nader Adawy El-Saryaqousi."

Thank you for listening.

[Applause]

- Bless you, my son. You'll succeed, God willing. - God willing.

You know, kid, if this station actually knew what it was doing,

- they'd make you head anchor. - True.

Please, Mr. Nader, when you become head anchor,

look into my daughter's case and talk to the officials.

God! Didn't the committee say they'd send her abroad?

In two years, sir? She'll be gone by then!

No, just pray I pass, Saadiya.

God willing, she'll get treated at the state's expense.

- When's your exam? - In a week.

Sir… sir, are you okay? Can't you talk to someone in charge?

- Yeah, but who? - The parliament rep.

They say he serves his constituents.

Fawziya, we didn’t even vote for him!

Just go pull some strings for him.

- Or do you want the kid to fail? - No, God willing, he won’t fail.

Alright, folks, thanks a lot. Wait for me downstairs, okay?

Need you for an official mission. Thanks a ton.

Thanks a million.

Thank you.

[Whispering] Dad, who’s that?

♪ We’ve said it all along: "Riyad" Bey is the winner! ♪

♪ We’ve said it all along: "Riyad" Bey is the winner! ♪

- ♪ Oh "Riyad," oh "Riyad" ♪ - ♪ Oh "Riyad" ♪

- ♪ Oh son of the district ♪ - ♪ Oh "Riyad" ♪

- ♪ Oh son of our land ♪ - ♪ Oh "Riyad" ♪

- ♪ Oh "Riyad," oh "Riyad" ♪ - ♪ Oh "Riyad" ♪

- ♪ We’ve said it all along: "Riyad" Bey is the… ♪ - Enough, folks! That’s enough.

I deeply appreciate your kind sentiments.

I hope to live up to your expectations and fulfill all your requests.

But please, don’t crowd me—no need for chaos.

Pick three of you to come forward and tell me your issues.

I’m the group’s official spokesperson.

And I’m personally a senior advisor in the Ministry of Education.

This is my son, "Nader." We’re here about him.

- Okay, you three, come forward. - Thank you, sir.

Come on, folks, I didn’t tell all these people to come with me.

Why the clinginess? Go on.

- May God guide you, son. - God bless you.

- Let’s go, Mom. - "Let’s go, Mom"?

- So he’s your dad, but I’m not your mom? - Mom, it’s a men-only meeting.

- Fine, Nader, humiliate me all you want. - Sorry.

- Fine, Nader. - I’m sorry, Mom.

- Dad, do you know this group’s leader? - No, son, I don’t.

After you.

Welcome, welcome! The renowned journalist, Mr. "Fouad Saleh."

No introduction needed, sir. The man whose articles you read, Dad.

- At your service. - My son, "Nader Adawy El-Saryaqousi,"

anchor at "Al-Haqiqa" News Channel.

Good, very good.

They’ve also asked me and Mr. Fouad to host programs there.

[Laughing] So we’ll be colleagues!

No, sir, God forbid! Colleagues?

We’re here to ask for your help.

What? You came to ask me for connections?

No, sir! Dad and I came for connections.

Listen to me, son.

If you’re here for justice, you’re welcome—I’ll help.

But if you want connections to skip ahead of someone more deserving,

sorry, I can’t.

Since you’re this worried about the exam, you’ll pass.

Just believe in yourself.

Sir, thank God, I believe in myself.

But this next phase needs… a little push.

Listen to me and rely on yourself.

God willing, sir.

Say something, Mr. Spokesman.

Why are we here, exactly?

- No offense, sir. - [Adawy] Let me handle this, Nader.

[Music]

[Exam candidates chatting]

Good morning, "Nader El-Saryaqousi." You look nervous, and I’m nervous, so…

I’m not nervous, and don’t transfer your nerves to me.

What’s your field?

- What? - Broadcasting.

- Thank God. - Deservedly so. See anything in me?

It feels great when you realize you’re not the worst—there are people below you.

Alright, professors, come in.

Short ones in front, tall ones in back. Or just put them in the middle. Go on.

No fire extinguisher here.

Hey, hey! Put that out, for God’s sake! This place is clean!

- Huh? - Put it out anywhere. Don’t be difficult.

Here, I’ll help—just pray for me.

Welcome to "Al-Haqiqa" News Channel.

First, let me introduce myself.

I’m "Fakhry Kamel," the channel’s director, okay?

Ms. "Camellia," head of anchors.

The first test is general knowledge.

The second is a personality assessment.

Time limit: one hour.

[Fakhry] And of course, I don’t need to remind you this is an aptitude test.

No one benefits from cheating.

"Camellia."

Folks, lucky for those who help and get helped. We’re friends.

Thank God, I’ve studied. If anyone needs help, I’m here.

- Stuck on anything? - Yeah.

[In English] Excuse me. The first question’s a bit tough.

Yeah, it is tricky.

No need for [in English] "excuse me." We’re friends.

- Yeah, it’s tough. - Yeah.

What’s the first question?

"Name an Egyptian Nobel Prize winner."

[In English] Okay, write after me: "Dr. Ahmed Fathi Sorour."

Dr. "Ahmed Fathi Sorour."

- Excuse me, excuse me! - I’m not here to help you pass!

- Sorry, my bad. - "What was Queen Shajarat al-Durr’s real name?"

- "Nermin." - "Nermin"?

Yeah, "Nermin."

- You’re cheating for them? Wrong! - Let’s clear the air.

They’re all here through connections. You stuck on anything?

- Yeah, "Who planned the Gulf War defense?" - "Mahmoud El-Gohary."

Not my problem.

Your call. Write "Hamada Imam" or "Mohsen Saleh"—whatever.

In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

Dear viewers, here are the last 24 hours’ events.

- "Threatens the region…" - [Adawy] Nader, the first line’s blasphemy!

- "Threatens." - Got it, Dad—first time saying it.

- "Threatens," "threatens." - Got it. "Threatens the region…"

Get out of my face! You’re ruining my life!

As if God blessing me with two short men in one house isn’t enough.

Disgusting.

Answer her, Dad! You’re the reason I’m in this mess!

Your grandfather’s the reason! God forgive me.

*That concludes our 24-hour news recap,*

- Anchor… - "Nader Adawy El-Saryaqousi."

Thank God you brought this up, Dad.

- Let me tell you something. - Yeah, son.

I want to discuss something. God willing, when I’m a famous anchor…

Listen—I don’t want anything from you. I raised you, educated you,

and even if you’re an anchor or married, I’ll still support you.

- Huh? What are you two whispering about? - Oh God.

- What is it, son? - Dad, about "Adawy El-Saryaqousi"...

- You care that much? - Care? That’s my name, son!

He ran the school when I was in the Ministry of Education.

Yeah, Dad, and still does. I’m honored to bear his name.

But I mean, when I’m an anchor and "Adawy El-Saryaqousi"...

I might host shows only God knows about.

Sometimes famous people change their names...

You know, Dad? But don’t get upset.

What’ll you call yourself, hotshot?

"Nader Seif El-Din."

- Why do you want to be an anchor? - Honestly? Personal reasons, sorry.

Can we know them?

Honestly, sir, some people have no one to speak for them.

I want to be an anchor to give them a voice.