All language subtitles for [SubtitleTools.com] Tacoma FD S04E13 1080p HEVC x265-MeGusta_track3_[eng]

- Ahh. Man, I love
our little baby so much.

- She is the perfect
combination of me and you.

She's got my cherrywood helm

And your 50-gallon
waste capacity.

- [sighs] the only thing
we need to figure out

Is who's the captain.
- Oh, that's easy.

I'm already a captain.
- [chuckles] no, I'm the chief.

- There's no chiefs
in the nautical world,

Only captains,
and I'm a captain.

- Well, not on this boat,
you're not.

- Hey, guys.

- Mickleberry,
who's the captain on this boat?

- You are, captain.
- Thank you.

- [grumbles]

- Here's your
morning milk, chief.

- Thank you, mickleberry.
Ah, okay.

Ha. Cheers.

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.

Ahh.
Delicious.

Get one for yourself,
mickleberry.

- No, thanks.
I don't like milk.

- Ooh.

- Mickleberry,
I do not like a man

Who does not drink milk.

It develops strong teeth
and bones.

- I'll try harder, chief.
- That'll be all, mickleberry.

- Aye, aye, captain.
- Ooh, "aye, aye, captain."

I like that.
- It's silly.

I'm so much more nautical
than you.

- Bullshit.

- You think you have more
nautical knowledge than me?

- How about knot tying?

- I would crush you
at knot tying.

- Fine.
Knot for knot.

Okay, let's do it.
Your funeral.

Bowline.
- Bowline.

Give me a break over here
with the bowline.

- It's an easy one.
- Huh?

[laughs]
- "knot" bad.

- French bowline.
- French bowline?

Okay, I learned how to tie this
when I was a child.

Voilà.
- That was an easy one.

- Carrick bend.
- Oh, carrick bend. Really?

- I'm giving you
entry-level knots.

- Carrick bend.
[laughs]

Huh?
[chuckles] all right.

Jury mast knot.

- I could do this one
in my sleep.

Matter of fact...
[snores]

Jury mast knot.

Sheepshank.
- Huh?

[laughs]
halyard.

- Halyard.

Double constrictor knot.
- [chuckles]

What's a double
constrictor knot?

- It's the one
I tied around your feet

While you weren't looking.

- What the hell--
eddie, how'd you do that?

- It's a great knot.

The more you struggle,
the tighter it gets.

- Okay, all right,
let me out of this.

- I'm the captain now.
[laughs]

Hey, swabbie, stow these ropes.
This boat is a disaster area.

- Eddie, eddie, come back here!

It's getting tighter!
Eddie!

Is this one
of your crazy sex knots?

Eddie!

[foreigner's "hot blooded"]

- ♪ well, I'm hot-blooded

♪ check it and see

♪ I got a fever of 103

♪ I'm hot-blooded

- Okay, everyone, it's one
of those times of the year

Where we get
to do something special,

The annual tacoma fd
blood drive.

- All right, yeah!
- Yeah!

- As always, we've partnered
with tacoma memorial hospital.

We'll do our outreach
to the public,

And, of course,
we'll all donate blood.

- I don't like giving blood.
- Why not?

- I have hard-to-find veins.

The nurses can never find them,

So they dig around in there,
and it's painful.

- Don't worry, kid.
I'm a licensed phlebotomist.

- Gesundheit.
[chuckles]

- Hey, you're donating, okay?

Everyone's blood is important,

Even if it's not
as sweet as mine.

O-negative, kid,
the universal donor--

I can save anyone's live.

- Well, I'm ab-positive,

Which means
I'm the universal receiver,

Which means I can take it
from anyone.

- [laughs]

- I'm the most uplifting
blood type,

B-positive.
Get it?

- Yeah. Okay, anyway,
we're gonna get the word out

To as many people
as we possibly can,

And, of course, this year,
we will also be shooting

Our traditional promo video.
- Ooh, I love that one.

- Before we go--
[chuckles] excuse me--

I have one last announcement
to make.

- Why are you pushing me
out of the way?

- It's my podium.
[clears throat]

Uh, for this year's blood
drive, we will be teaming up

With the
tacoma police department.

- What?
- Chief, no, why?

- That's a horrible idea.

- We're calling it
badge buddies.

- Hold on, hold on a second.
- See that? Huh?

- Chief, chief, chief, the
blood drive is my event, okay?

We're not doing it
with the police.

Right, guys?
- It's our thing.

- Yeah.
- We hate those guys.

- Listen, I've already pitched
tacoma memorial,

And they love the idea.

First responders banding
together for a good cause, huh?

[chuckles] come on.

I know we're supposed
to hate the cops,

But, listen, if we combine
their social-media outreach

With the natural love
people have for firefighters,

It's really gonna move
the needle.

[laughs]
- "move the needle."

- Huh? Huh?

He gets me.
This kid gets me.

- Yeah.
- Right?

- Good for you, kid.

Listen,
let's not let bad blood

Get in the way of collecting
good blood, okay?

Carry on.

- You got to stop this, man.

- The only reason
he's doing this

Is 'cause of his new friendship
with polonsky.

- I know--
look, I've always said,

There's no reason
to make new friends after 40.

Nothing good comes from it,

But the most important thing
is the blood drive,

And if this brings
more people to it,

That's a good thing, okay?

So let's be positive.
- Which is the best blood type.

- [chuckles]
nah.

They dump that shit
down the drain, probie.

Okay, everyone,
get back to work.

[laughing evilly]

[imitating dracula]
I have come to suck your blood.

[laughs evilly]

- That's okay, dracula,
as long as you come

To the tacoma fd and pd
blood drive.

- That's right.

This year's theme
is badge buddies.

Hi, I'm jerry.
- I'm terry.

- And I am scary.

[laughs evilly]
- that doesn't rhyme at all.

- [normal voice]
what? Of course it rhymes.

- Not at all.
- Yeah--

- Cut.
- Hey, no.

Mickleberry,
don't you dare cut.

Only I call cut.
And now cut.

- And cut.

- What do you mean
doesn't rhyme?

- "erry" and "ary" are two
completely different sounds.

- Yeah, combined
with your accent,

It kind of hits my ear funny.

- I'm also wondering
what you're even doing here.

Should you even be
in this scene?

- Guy, we've been doing
the dracula bit for years,

And it kills.
- The theme is badge buddies.

Terry has a badge,
jerry has a badge,

Dracula, no badge.

And I'm wondering why dracula's
even out during daytime.

- Who says it's daytime?

- Because I wear sweatpants
at night.

- [gasps] hey, I wear
sweatpants at night, too.

We have so much in common.
[imitating dracula] it's scary.

[laughs]
you know what?

Now that I hear it,
"scary" does not rhyme

With terry or jerry.
- Yes, it does.

It's a slant rhyme.
- Mm...

- I say we 86 eddie munster.

- [laughing]
eddie munster.

- I say we 86 the redhead.

Their kind
can't donate blood anyway.

They're all anemic.

- You know what?
Jerry's right.

We should just stick
to the guys

Who are in charge
of their stations.

You want to go collab?
- I think we should.

- Stand by, mickleberry.
We'll be back.

- Do you have a room
that only fits two people?

- Yeah, yeah, my office.

Come on.
- Perfect.

- Cap, I admire
how self-assured you are.

Must be tough seeing polonsky
moving in on your best friend.

Nobody should be making friends
after 40.

- Yeah, I need to do something
about that.

- You need to be
a psycho bitch.

- Ooh, good idea, mickleberry.

I'm gonna break up
that friendship.

[laughing evilly]
- cap, where'd you go?

Cap?

[upbeat rock music]

- Morning, dipshits.

[door closes]
your saviors have arrived.

Uh, apparently
you guys are too stupid

To do a blood drive
on your own?

- Dude, the only reason
you're here

Is 'cause people
don't like cops

And you need our reputation
to pad your numbers.

- What do you call this setup,
by the way, town dump?

'cause it, uh, sure looks like
you took a big, fat one.

- If you don't like it,
you can leave.

- Lucy, please...

Don't make this any more
complicated than it already is,

Given the history
of our romantic relationship.

- The only reason
we got engaged

Is because
you lost your mind on edibles

And I had to talk you down.

- You took a big, fat,
hard piss on my heart.

- [laughs]
you pissed on him?

- Oh, is that funny?

Ever had your heart broken,
crystal?

- I just thought we were all,
like, having fun

And she was telling a joke.

I didn't know
that you were not joking.

- I wouldn't wish it
upon my worst enemy,

And make no mistake--
you are my worst enemy.

- And now
we're gonna piss on you

During this blood drive.
- That's gross.

- We'll collect
way more blood, bitches.

- Yeah, right.
You want to bet?

- Let's go.
- Whoa, whoa.

Chief said keep it friendly.
- Yeah.

Yeah, I'm being friendly.
I'm talking about a bet.

Just a straight-up bet.
- As in no competition.

- Not a competition, granny,
a bet.

- What's the point of doing
a blood drive together

If it's not a competition?

- To maybe donate
a lot of blood.

- Besides that, fool?

- How about whoever
collects the most blood

Wins $100.
- Oh.

- [chuckles]

Why don't we make it 200?
- Yeah.

- Let's put some real skin
in the game.

- You had me at skin.
- Losing team...

- Marries you?

- Has to get
the winning team's insignia

Tattooed on their back.

- A real tattoo?
- Yeah, no, real tattoo.

- No problem at all.
- Let's go.

I don't give a shit.

I'll get a tattoo
of a dick on my chest.

- I'll get a chest tattoo
on my dick.

- Okay, fine.

Whoever has the most blood

By 6:00 p.M. Close of business
is the winner.

- It's on.
- Huh.

- [chuckles]
- boom.

- Yeah, boom.
- Boom.

- Boom.
- Oh.

- It's looking really good.

Mm.
- Ooh!

- 'cause this is way more
than a recovery area.

This is the chill zone.

- Chill zone!
- Oh, whatever.

- This right here is where
we're getting all the blood.

- We'll see about that.
- Fresh-baked cookies.

- Nice.

- That's what
I'm talking about.

- Oh, yeah.

That ought to clinch it.
[laughs]

Except we also
have fresh cookies.

- Yeah, did you get 'em
from the gas station?

- Got 'em at the dollar store.

- Fresh steaks
hot off the grill

For those looking to replenish
their red blood cells.

- Okay, you know what?
This is bullshit.

You have home field advantage.
- You're bullshit.

- Wait, what'd you say?
Say it to my face.

- He said, "you're bullshit."

- [gasps]
- you're bullshit.

I bet your steaks
aren't even organic.

- Bullshit!
- That's bullshit!

- You're bullshit!

- It's nice to see
once-bitter rivals team up

For a good cause.
- Yeah.

Reminds me
of that youtube video

With the cat breastfeeding
the orphan puppy.

That one made me cry.
- Aw. Me too, teared up.

- [laughs]
right?

- You people ready to do this?
Let's go.

[all cheering]
- all right, captain, hit it.

Ooh, look at this, huh?
Good turnout, guys.

- Oh, yeah.

- [chuckles] we got this
in the bag--trust me.

We've rescued
half these people.

- Morning, folks.

If you're here to donate for
the police, go to your left.

If you're here to donate
to the firefighters,

Go to your right.
[laughs]

Oh, and be sure to check out
the firefighter chill zone.

It's where you want to be.
- Chill zone!

What the hell?
- Huh?

- Oh, you know
what it might be?

That speed trap
around the corner I set up.

In the spirit of saving lives,
I told everybody

I wouldn't give 'em tickets
if they bled for the blue.

- You're repulsive.
- Oh, please.

We do so much worse.

- Hey, that's
a pretty good-looking boat

You got out there.
- Oh, thank you very much.

Hey, you should come fishing

With me and eddie
when we launch it.

- I would love
to go fishing with you.

- Does this friendship
piss you off?

- Yeah, no one over 40

Should be making new friends.
- That's what I said.

- You know what?
To pay you back,

Why don't you come
to an mls game with me?

- Major league soccer?
- Minor league soccer.

Tacoma terriers.
I got season tickets.

- There's no way terry goes.
He hates soccer.

- I love soccer.
- How could you not?

It's the world sport.
- Come look at my boat.

- Yeah, let's check it out.
- Okay.

I need that relationship over.
- I'm with you.

- You and me as a team?
- One time only.

- Secret bedfellows.

I'm so sorry.

I hope that
wasn't inappropriate.

- Not at all.

[upbeat rock music]

- [sighs]
- that was weird.

- You're telling me.

So what's the plan
to break up our bosses?

- That's easy--
"sabatage."

- Are you trying
to say sabotage?

- No, I don't say sabotage.
You say sabotage.

I say "sabatage."

- Well, it's
completely made up,

Like the orgasm I faked.

- Eh, that's your business.

Let's trade intel
on our bosses' weaknesses

And use it against 'em.

It's the type of stratagem
I'd garner

From sun tzu's "the art of war"

If I had the discipline
to read it.

- Okay.
So what's your dirt?

- Terry's only got
one testicle.

- So do you.

- That's true,
but this isn't about me.

- Jerry's parents are cousins.

- Terry's got
an abnormally long ass crack.

- Jerry's parents aren't
cousins--they're siblings.

- Mm, none of these things
will break 'em up.

We need something better.
[sighs]

- Jerry hates milk.
- I'm listening.

- And he doesn't like boats.

- Okay, I can work
with these things.

- What are you guys doing
in my bed?

- We're napping.

We got tired
from donating blood.

Have you donated blood yet?
- I have hard-to-find veins.

- Go give blood, mickleberry.
- Yes, sir.

- Ooh. [chuckles]
- wow.

That was scary and exciting.
- I know.

My heart's racing.
- Yeah. Yeah.

- Should we, uh...
- Yes.

Now!
- Okay.

- Right now!

- Oh, sir, when you donate

In the name
of the fire department,

You receive
a free car-seat inspection

And a smoke detector.

- Everyone's got
a smoke detector,

But what everybody doesn't have
is a license-plate frame

That prevents cops
from pulling you over.

Yeah, you know which way
you got to go, pal.

[chuckles]

- You're a foul human being.

- Oh, please.
We do so much worse.

[laughter]

- This is great.
- Hey, fellas.

Anyone in the mood
for some nice cold milk?

- Ooh, always. Thank you.
[chuckles]

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.

Ahh.
Delicious.

Jerry.
- No, thanks.

- Why not?
- Oh, I'm lactose intolerant.

I used to love it as a kid,
but I don't drink it anymore.

- [breathes deeply]

You know what?
That's okay. Huh?

We'll get through it together.
Oh, you know what?

Why don't you get him
a glass of oat milk?

You like oat milk?
- Uh, never had it, but sure.

I'd love to try some.
- Three glasses of oat milk.

Get one for yourself.
- Ha ha.

- Mm-hmm.
- [chuckles]

Hey, you want to see
my boat again?

- I would love to.
- Let's do it.

- All right, relax,
squeeze the ball.

- I'm scared.
I changed my mind.

- No, no, no, no, no.

Man, it's okay, all right?
I'm a pro.

- I'm telling you,
they can never find my veins.

- I used to do this
in the shit.

Okay?
- You know what--

- Hey, listen, man,
we all made a bet, all right?

Look at me.
You got to do your part, too.

- You made the bet!
- We all made the bet!

- Ah!
- Relax, bro.

Look, he's done this in--
- you missed it!

- It's okay, it's fine.
- There's no blood!

- It's okay, it's okay.
All I have to do is nick it.

- [groans] I thought
you were licensed to do this.

[groaning]

- Oh, you know
what the problem is?

I'm so used to explosions
and gunfire going off

Around me while I do this,
so it's just a mental thing.

- [imitating gunfire]
granny, look out!

It's a sniper!

[imitating gunfire]
- that's not it!

- I got it! I got it!
- [screams]

- See, you're fine.

- I am not getting
another tattoo.

Bleed his ass dry.

- I'm gonna have to work you
a little more, okay?

- [screaming]

- Sweet dreams, buddy.

- Ah, what up, cookies?

Don't you look "noice"?

Hmm.

[sniffing]

Ahh.

- Hey, guys, just baked
some fresh cookies

For the chill zone.

- Well, apparently you hate
being on a boat with me.

- What are you talking about?

Terry is a nightmare
on a boat.

He's got balance.
He gets seasick.

He can't drive it.

In short,
he sucks on the ocean.

That was taken out of context.

Mcconky's boat personality
is a hideous mix

Of arrogance and stupidity.

That's the whole quote, yes.

- If you hate
being on a boat with me,

Maybe you should sell
your half.

- I bet you'd like that,
wouldn't you?

- Maybe you should sell it
to polonsky.

- Maybe I will.
- You know, eddie,

Real friends--they don't
break each other down.

They prop each other up.
Right, jerry?

- Right, terry.

I will prop you up.

Ha!
- [snickers]

- We played you, penisi.

Apparently you've never read
"the art of war."

- Shit, it's right there

On my nightstand
under "owen meany."

- Those look delicious.

- They should.
I baked them myself.

- Then fuck you.
[cookie thuds]

Bye-by-e-e-e.

- That was said in confidence.
Why would you "sabatage" me?

- Because I have a bet to win.

I'm sowing the seeds
of discontent.

[laughs]

- Oh.
- Oh...

- Round three?

- Sorry, I only did
the first two for the tpd.

Oh, yeah.
Sorry.

- Am I losing my touch?

[groans softly]

[upbeat rock music]

Mmm, that's delicious.

[sneaky music]

- All right, firefighters...

Yeah.
[chuckles]

Ooh.

[chuckling]

- You got it?
- [chuckles] oink, oink.

[both laugh]

You believe it?
- No!

- Whoa! What the hell is this?
What are you doing?

- What?
What are you talking about?

What are you doing?

- You filled the donor bags
with pig blood?

- Prove it.
- What's the matter with you?

- The pigs were already dead!
- You're despicable.

- Oh, come on, give me a break.

We do so much worse.
- Yeah.

- Actually, this might be
the worst thing

We've ever done.
- Give me the bags.

- How about I kick
your freakin' ass first?

[salazar gasps]
- you're gonna kick my ass?

- Yeah.
- I will murder you, bro.

- [laughs] this guy.
- Yeah.

- [screams]
- awesome.

[salazar screams]

- [groaning]

- Stay down, polonsky.

- You're so lucky.

I was about to kick
your freakin' ass.

- What the hell's going on
in here?

- Oh, uh, no. [chuckles]
he started it, chief.

- He's bleeding.

- Oh, no, that's--
that's pig's blood.

- I told you, we do not call
police officers pigs.

- No, it's pig's blood.

- I heard the slur
the first time, young lady.

- No, this is pig's blood.

- Enough with
the self-loathing, junior!

Look, I know you don't want
to be a cop,

But I will not stand
for that kind of talk!

Coño!
It's fucking pig's blood!

All: Oh.
- Hmm.

- What the hell are you doing
with pig's blood?

- It doesn't matter!

I said we should all be
friendly, like me and polonsky!

We can all be friends!
- Hey, you guys, it's 6:00.

The contest is over.
- What contest?

- Oops.
- I said no contests.

- Sorry, chief.

Why is that pig
covered in blood?

[laughter]

- Mickleberry,
you look like a ghost.

- [mumbling] they made me
give blood six times.

- You like nursery rhymes?

- They made me give blood
six times.

- You gave blood
six times, right?

Yeah, he gave blood six times.
Yeah, you did, pal.

You got your six stickers.
Isn't that right?

- Have some of the cookie.
It'll make you feel better.

- [grunting weakly]
- this can't be right.

Uh, okay, everybody,

We've totaled
all the donations,

And, believe it or not,
it's a tie.

- Bullshit!
- What?

- It is a tie.

- Oh, nobody's
asking you, nurse.

- Hey, cool it.
- Okay, you know what?

I'm glad it's a tie,
because donating blood

Should not be a contest.

- It is a contest,
and guess what--

You freakin' lost.
- We checked it twice.

The tfd came back thanks
to the heroic sacrifice

Made by mickleberry.

- You did good, mick.
- Of which I don't approve.

- So the whole contest
ended up in a tie.

Kind of anticlimactic,
isn't it?

- Hey, have
jerry and terry donated?

- Well, not yet, no.
- Nope, not yet.

- I say whoever donates
more blood

Between you two
is the tiebreaker.

- Oh, let's do that, chief.
- Yes.

- Listen, that sounds
like a fun idea,

But we're only allowed
to donate one pint each,

And then
it would still be a tie.

- Yeah, except his pint
would be way bigger than yours.

- Not how pints work.

- Of course,
if we weren't limited

To just one pint,
terry would win.

- Okay, I don't know
if that's true.

- You know what?

I would love to see
a certain someone

Get a tacoma police department
tattoo on their back.

- And I would love
to see junior

With a tfd tattoo on him.
[laughter]

- I can't let you do this.
- What are you gonna do, nurse?

Call the cops?
[laughter]

- Assholes!
Ugh!

- All right, granny,
you're in charge.

Let's do this. Here we go.
- You got this, captain.

Come on, go, go, go, go!
[scattered cheers]

- Hey, this is a great test
of our friendship--

Our first bet.
- It sure is.

No hard feelings
when it's over.

- No hard feelings.
- Good.

'cause I feel full of blood.

- Well, what do you say
we up the bet

To include the two of us, then?
- Sure.

I mean, after all,
redhead blood is thin.

[laughter]

I'm just--I'm just kidding.

- Oh, well, yours is full
of cholesterol.

[laughter]

- Easy now, easy now.

We're going to the fat jokes
already, huh?

- Hey, you did
the redhead joke.

You drew first blood.
- It's not really a joke.

Look at the bag.
Looks like pink lemonade.

- Like fruit punch.
[laughter]

- Well, yours looks like
full-on gravy.

All: Oh.
- Fine.

I guess blood is thicker
than friendship.

- Oh, uh, hey, you guys
are both at two pints each.

- That's all right, granny,
keep going.

- Ooh-whee!
- Oh, boy.

- Chief, you sure?

You really shouldn't go
past two pints.

- No problem--
I got a reserve pool of blood

In my ankles.
- Be careful, chief.

I can't feel my arms,

And my mouth
tastes like pennies.

- Bag me, junior.
- You got it, pops.

- Game on.
- Yeah.

[laughter]
- whew.

- You sure you don't want
to concede?

- You should concede.

You're gonna have
a heart attack.

- Hey, soccer sucks.

- Oh!
- Oh!

- Boating's for assholes.
- Oh!

- And the only reason
I became friends with you

Was to get under penisi's skin.

- The only reason
I became friends with you

Was 'cause I thought it'd be
good pr for the station!

- Ooh-ooh-ooh.
- Eddie, squeeze my ankles.

- You got it, chiefy.
- You mean your cankles.

- Ooh!
- Whoa!

- It's working!
- Holy shit.

- Oh, it's coming.

- Come on, dad!
Come on!

- Granny, bag me!
- Dad, I think we're done.

- No, we're not getting
police tattoos today.

Bag me!

- [sighs]
- yeah, bag him!

- You want to know
why I'm so strong?

- Tell him, chief.
- Milk.

Milk promotes strong teeth
and bones

And blood.

- Milk is for kids.
- Milk's for kids.

[laughter]

Dad?
- I'm so cold.

[groans]
both: He's out.

- We're losing him.
- Dad, you loser! Wake up!

- This kid
just kicked your ass.

- Oh!
- Yeah!

Go, dad.
- [gasps] junior!

I never loved you.
[sighs]

- [groans softly]
- oh, oh, oh, hey, hey.

Don't worry--I got you, chiefy,

Because real friends
prop each other up.

- Eddie, I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have made friends
with polonsky--that was stupid.

- And I'm sorry I tried
to "sabatage" your friendship.

- It's sabotage.
- That's what I'm saying.

"sabatage."
- it's like sabotage.

It's like taj mahal.

- "taje" mahal.
- It's like nicki minaj.

- Nicki "minage."
- never mind.

I don't have time
to make new friends, eddie.

- No one over 40 does.

- [chuckles]
yeah.

No one over 40
should make new friends.

- That's what I said.
That's what I said.

[laughter]

- You said it.

[laughter continues]

- Ah, man,
this is awesome, cap.

When are we gonna get this baby
in the water, huh?

- Yeah, cap, we need
an a-shift fishing trip.

- I love how everyone
calls me cap.

- Well, that's 'cause
you're the captain.

- I am the captain.
Thank you, lucy.

She knows.
- That's okay, little buddy.

You guys can
just call me skipper.

- Okay, skipper.
[laughter]

- Bad news, gang.
- What?

- Turns out
we didn't win the bet.

- What?
How's that possible?

- Got the results right here.

There was an issue
with the blood.

- Thanks a lot, eddie.
You messed it up.

- Wha--hey!
I didn't do anything, skipper.

- It says here
that one of the donations

From this tfd crew
was disqualified by the lab,

Which puts us
a pint behind the cops.

- Ha ha. Well, at least they
already got their tattoos.

- What was wrong
with the blood?

- Was it steroids?
- Nope.

- Xanies?
- Nope.

- Prototype for the male pill?
- Nah.

- Extra-strength cholestofix?
- Nope.

According to this,
one of us...

Is pregnant.

- Oh, shit.
- Oh, shit.

- Oh, shit.

Wait, who?

Oh, sorry.

- Um, congratulations.

Oh.
- [huffs angrily]

- [chuckles awkwardly]