Original subtitles

You forgot your lipstick, didn't you?

No, I'm not going to wear any.

You look thick.

That's the way I want to look. It's the new natural look. In fact, I'm going to

Rexall's today to buy the whole new line of organic makeup.

I'll meet you there by 3 .30. Got it.

Don't nobody bother to say good morning.

Good morning.

I don't suppose nobody cares if I spent a terrible night not sober.

But then, you know, I ain't supposed to complain. The old man's supposed to make

the sacrifice, be generous, keep up the beds.

Bye. Yeah, goodbye.

I wouldn't have mentioned it. I just thought maybe somebody would like to

I have no money.

Would you like some breakfast, Uncle Archie? Yeah, I'd like some breakfast.

Toast and coffee. Toast and coffee. Yeah, sure. I'll take it in the egg.

have some bacon and eggs. No, nothing like that.

But I ain't got no money, sure.

Thank you. Yeah. Oh, my.

Morning, everyone.

Morning. Bye, Steph.

Morning, Grandpa. Oh, hiya there, you two. I look a little joey, eh? Still

holding the bag.

What would you like for breakfast, Joe? Oh, I know what this kid would like,

Froot Loops. Give him a big bowl of them Froot Loops. They're loaded with sugar

and power.

Yeah, they make you strong and healthy, you know, so that when you get big and

get married, your wife won't have to go out and wait.

and leave the kids home to turn into delinquents.

Bobby did beat me.

And the top of my pajama's there.

High school's been good and strong, you know.

So there you be ready if Uncle Sam wants you for the army.

My dad says I should be an unconscious objector.

Ain't that effective.

I ain't filled the right in the innocent mind of a child with peace.

What else does he say?

About what?

About anything at all. What else is about me?

You said you'd never read anything if they hadn't invented the toilet.

Fluff, fluff, fluff.

Ain't that beautiful?

Saying things like that about the child's grandfather.

Well, look at all the beautiful things the child's grandfather says about the

child's father.

Here's your breakfast, Joey. I gotta go upstairs and get dressed, and don't you

listen to anything your grandfather has to say.

What do you want me to do, raise a lump up there?

Hey, what happens?

That's why us men, we gotta stick together in this world against these

women, and that's as true today as it was the day that Adam took the first

Who? Adam, Eve's husband.

He bitter?

Well, you don't know nothing about that, huh?

Well, geez, then why should you?

Your old man's an atheist.

That's why you don't know nothing about the Bible, the greatest book of the 20th

century.

Well, eat up, kid. You got a lot to learn.

Here's the guy that's going to learn you.

Oh, well, I know that no matter what the hell I say to you, I'm going to get an

argument.

Jeez, it's a comfort to know that some things never change in this world.

Like you.

You're always wrong.

Listen, I didn't say that mothers should never work. I know the good Lord

invented things like the ironing board, the vacuum cleaner, the Johnny mop, so

that mothers could work.

But the Lord wants them to work at home where they can enjoy themselves.

Maybe Gloria's had enough of that kind of enjoyment.

Too much of a good thing.

Get the point?

That's a provocative thought, Arch.

You ain't helping me, Barney.

I appeal to you, Mr. Bernard.

You know me. You know there ain't nothing in the world I wouldn't do with

only daughter.

Except let her make decisions for herself.

I'll let her do that, too, but in 10 or 20 years when the kid grows up and he's

safe.

In the meantime, they just got to live with me. That's all I can afford to

support them.

And she can stay home and take care of that kid.

Are you ready for 20 years on the sofa?

All right, I mean, I know things are going to be a little tight there. I'll

out.

Why's? Well, that way you'll have more room.

You ain't moving no place.

You don't have to worry about me.

I ain't worried about you. I'm worried about me.

And unless I know where you are every minute, kiddo... I know. You'll need

surgery. You got it. Case closed.

Just trying to help.

Hey, I could add on to the old house. Couldn't I do that?

I mean, it comes to that, I could even buy another house.

Why don't you buy a house nearby for Gloria?

Hey, I'll sell you mine for a couple of hundred thousand.

You know why I wouldn't consider that offer even at that bargain price, Marty?

No.

Because your interior decor was done by your dog.

It ain't gonna work, Arch. Gloria ain't gonna let you support her. Why not?

Because she wants a real job.

Oh, Mr. Bernal, you're starting to sound like all the women, my guy. What the

hell is a real job?

Well, why don't you work here?

That's a thought.

Yeah. And if Joey needs her, she's five minutes away from home.

That's true.

Maybe ten.

Even in a case of genuine panic, like if the kids set fire to the house.

No, no, that's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. She cannot wait here.

Oh, it's fine, thanks.

You know, it's amazing, but you look terrific.

Take a page out of my book, huh, honey? Huh? Just keep smiling, keep that old

chin up, and you'll find you can have a life as full as mine.

Thanks, Barney.

Daddy, I have to talk to you for a minute. Can we go over there? Oh, yeah,

Let me take the code, honey. Oh, but Daddy, I wasn't planning on staying.

No, no, what are you talking about? You're just sitting right down here,

darling. Go ahead.

I'm so glad to see you.

Daddy? Yeah?

I'm sorry that we've been fighting.

It's all my fault.

Ah, honey, let's forget all of that. All of that. Put it behind you. Give Daddy

a kiss.

Well... No, no, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

You want to work, you know where you can work? Right here.

Here?

I've been thinking about this the whole night through.

And I think it's a damn fine idea.

I don't know, Daddy.

I'll make a lousy waitress.

Honey, you could do a lot of work with Veronica there. You could help Daddy

the books.

I gotta tell you, I've got a whole other plan.

What?

Well, I've been calling some old friends, and... You remember Judy

Is that the girl that was living with the two men?

Uh -huh.

Oh, well, it's all right now, Daddy. She married one of them. And she's in

business with the other.

Tanning salons.

What is that, working with Linda?

No, panning people.

She's touching.

people.

No. She owns seven suntanning salons, and she needs someone to help her out

the new one on Fordham Road.

Fordham Road up in the Bronx?

Yep.

There's still enough people left in that neighborhood who's looking for tans?

The place is doing business.

Yeah, but you'd just be starting out there. I mean, here you'd be like a

partner.

A partner.

Yeah.

I mean, well, this is going to be yours someday. You might as well start out

learning how to run it now.

Daddy, it's really sweet of you, but I... Hey, this is a real career job.

Just like you read about in them women's magazines.

Well, I wasn't really looking for a glamour job.

Forget that thing up in the Bronx, huh?

You're working here.

I can't. I have an appointment on Wednesday.

Wednesday. All right.

Now, between now and next Wednesday, why don't you try working here?

Will you try?

For daddy.

For daddy.

Okay. But only till next Wednesday.

Check that thing. You're gonna find you're gonna love it here.

And we can use your help. Veronica, I wanna talk to you about something.

You're gonna find all kinds of important things to do around here, honey.