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1
00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:07,820
It was boredom at first sight.
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00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:11,340
You could hardly call him bright.
3
00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:14,220
He is no one's Mr.
4
00:00:14,620 --> 00:00:17,280
Right. So what do I say now?
5
00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:22,600
But then, I'm not so ideal.
6
00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:29,740
I'm not gentle or genteel. So the
question should be, what does he...
7
00:01:27,690 --> 00:01:29,110
Are you still playing silly games?
8
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I thought you were a burglar.
9
00:01:31,870 --> 00:01:35,910
Do burglars usually clean your work
surfaces and put fresh potpourri on your
10
00:01:35,910 --> 00:01:36,910
kitchen windowsill?
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00:01:36,990 --> 00:01:38,470
Mother, I gave you that key for
emergencies.
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00:01:38,990 --> 00:01:42,170
And in my book, the level of dust in
this room constituted an emergency.
13
00:01:42,810 --> 00:01:46,930
And you can put that back. It's
battering fish, not burglars. You
14
00:01:46,930 --> 00:01:48,130
just... Don't blame Lucinda.
15
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That poor girl's roughed up her feet.
16
00:01:50,490 --> 00:01:52,750
Do you know she's working 2 -2 -10 from
tomorrow?
17
00:01:53,390 --> 00:01:56,370
Of course I did. Shift work makes life
very difficult for someone with a home
18
00:01:56,370 --> 00:02:00,630
run. Yes, and it is our home, and I know
you mean well, but... Oh, that's the
19
00:02:00,630 --> 00:02:01,630
casserole.
20
00:02:02,910 --> 00:02:05,490
Casserole? And hang that coat up, if you
please.
21
00:02:06,030 --> 00:02:07,890
Did you say casserole? Well, of course.
22
00:02:08,350 --> 00:02:10,750
It's Monday, isn't it? Mother, you
mustn't do this.
23
00:02:11,050 --> 00:02:12,050
It's done.
24
00:02:12,230 --> 00:02:15,010
And you can set the table. It's about
time you did more about the place.
25
00:02:15,410 --> 00:02:16,850
Go through and wash your hands first.
26
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:20,090
Look, Mother, you'd better leave.
Lucinda will be back any minute. Coat!
27
00:02:21,170 --> 00:02:23,510
Oh, and David Lipscomb, you'll ring
again later.
28
00:02:23,990 --> 00:02:25,450
Mother, you don't live here.
29
00:02:26,070 --> 00:02:27,450
Do you think I'm not aware of that?
30
00:02:28,010 --> 00:02:31,230
No, you did this once before, and that's
why she left. Now, you must let us get
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00:02:31,230 --> 00:02:31,909
on with it.
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00:02:31,910 --> 00:02:35,130
If you're referring to the aberration
you suffered when you lived with that
33
00:02:35,130 --> 00:02:38,430
Wilson girl, I'd say that I'd let you
get on with far too much.
34
00:02:39,230 --> 00:02:40,770
Hello. Am I missing something?
35
00:02:41,250 --> 00:02:42,250
Hi, Lucinda.
36
00:02:42,270 --> 00:02:43,270
Mum's just going.
37
00:02:43,420 --> 00:02:44,520
Oh, are you, Marjorie?
38
00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:48,680
Perfect. Yeah, she was just passing, and
she agrees that it's our bed, and we've
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00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:50,960
got to lie in it, and she won't be
putting her oar in like she did once
40
00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:54,180
I think on that occasion, the oar was
already in.
41
00:02:54,860 --> 00:02:56,440
Right, that's it. Mother, please go.
42
00:02:56,700 --> 00:02:59,600
Oh, take your notice, Marjorie. It looks
lovely.
43
00:03:00,700 --> 00:03:01,700
Thank you, dear.
44
00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:03,240
And that smells delicious.
45
00:03:04,220 --> 00:03:06,040
Is this enough? Why not stay and join
us?
46
00:03:06,410 --> 00:03:09,850
Oh, well, as a matter of fact, I was
quite generous with the ingredients.
47
00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:12,890
But look, you've got to be... Malcolm,
your mother has kindly offered to help
48
00:03:12,890 --> 00:03:17,210
about the house. As it's something you
seem neither capable nor willing to do,
49
00:03:17,210 --> 00:03:19,190
think you might at least have the
courtesy to thank her.
50
00:03:22,450 --> 00:03:23,870
I'll never understand women.
51
00:03:25,770 --> 00:03:26,770
Oh,
52
00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:28,750
yeah, of course.
53
00:03:28,970 --> 00:03:30,070
They're a noisy lot.
54
00:03:30,370 --> 00:03:33,070
Yeah, they must have got well -tanked
somewhere else before this.
55
00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:36,040
You can't get happy on this. It does me.
56
00:03:36,340 --> 00:03:37,520
It certainly has.
57
00:03:41,300 --> 00:03:48,060
Gentlemen and ladies, let me propose a
toast to the poor, the sick and the
58
00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:49,600
especially the last two.
59
00:03:49,860 --> 00:03:55,720
May they continue to enjoy the benefits
of our healing hands until such time as
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00:03:55,720 --> 00:04:01,380
we become consultants and can practice
on real people for real money to the
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00:04:01,380 --> 00:04:02,660
great and lost.
62
00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:04,800
I don't think so, eh, Vincent?
63
00:04:05,380 --> 00:04:09,600
What? Oh, of course, non -diplomatic, I
say.
64
00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:16,120
I forgot our crawl had reached this
depth of barrel. But scrape on, say I.
65
00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:17,320
Vincent, cool it.
66
00:04:18,019 --> 00:04:23,140
Point taken, Jonathan, my old haggis.
I'll get another round, then. Good idea.
67
00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:25,840
Yeah, well, I'll leave this one, OK? As
you wish.
68
00:04:26,380 --> 00:04:32,120
My apologies, landlord. I trust our
merriment does not offend your rustic
69
00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:34,000
clientele. Me rusty what?
70
00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:37,180
Shouldn't have left them out in the
rain.
71
00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:38,560
Has he caused you trouble?
72
00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:40,980
No. It's the hooray healers over there.
73
00:04:41,340 --> 00:04:44,520
They've just graduated, which proves
they're a rubbish way we've got of
74
00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:45,519
new doctors.
75
00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:48,900
And he thinks the curving wench spouts
above her station.
76
00:04:49,140 --> 00:04:50,660
Have her flogged, would you, landlord?
77
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:52,200
Oh, I don't think we get much flogging.
78
00:04:53,980 --> 00:04:58,660
There, there, there, an unconscious wit.
Two pints, then, of your finest ale and
79
00:04:58,660 --> 00:05:00,120
a gill of swill for your good self.
80
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:01,400
Have you got glasses?
81
00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:03,320
None to match yours, I swear. Not me.
82
00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:06,460
We'll have no swear in an ear. I'll get
some.
83
00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:08,300
I'm clinging to a boy.
84
00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:13,080
Not so fast.
85
00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:14,440
Well, I'm sorry about him.
86
00:05:14,740 --> 00:05:15,840
It's been a hectic day.
87
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:19,540
It's all right. Are you heading back to
Civilisation this weekend, Cheryl?
88
00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:22,420
Well, never mind, because this is the
last time you're going to have to be
89
00:05:22,420 --> 00:05:26,020
crawling amongst the great unwashed.
From now on, they'll be crawling to you.
90
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:29,780
Next port of call, somebody really must
check out first.
91
00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:34,320
I fear an invasion of Pulex irritans if
we stay here much longer.
92
00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:35,960
No -one's keeping you.
93
00:05:36,740 --> 00:05:38,080
Nobody's asking you.
94
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:42,740
Is our spunky little wench stepping over
the traces again?
95
00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:44,480
Naughty!
96
00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:48,120
Come on!
97
00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:50,520
Let's get out of here.
98
00:05:51,900 --> 00:05:53,340
Hey, what's going on?
99
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:54,560
They're just leaving, Harold.
100
00:05:55,220 --> 00:05:58,260
Have you ever heard of Pulex irritans?
Oh, yes.
101
00:05:58,480 --> 00:05:59,860
It's one of them Australian ladders.
102
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:04,780
No problem.
103
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:05,800
No problem at all.
104
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:07,400
So, when are you moving?
105
00:06:08,860 --> 00:06:10,420
Fine, I'll be there at two, then.
106
00:06:11,500 --> 00:06:12,500
So, how's the family?
107
00:06:12,660 --> 00:06:13,660
Oh, and onions.
108
00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:14,680
I used them last.
109
00:06:15,380 --> 00:06:16,380
Right, let's see.
110
00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:20,860
Oh, yes, packet soups and a couple of
tins of macaroni cheese.
111
00:06:21,220 --> 00:06:22,340
Do you really think so?
112
00:06:23,020 --> 00:06:26,620
Well, yes, we both like macaroni cheese.
Yes, I know, but you see...
113
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,920
He's never had things out of tins, you
see.
114
00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,320
Well, I'm afraid... Leave that one with
me, will you?
115
00:06:31,660 --> 00:06:33,300
It'll work out a lot cheaper in the end.
116
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:34,519
Oh, are they?
117
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,700
Oh, we're out of kitchen rolls. Then get
some.
118
00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:41,540
Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're probably best
out of the way.
119
00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,940
Well, I wish you luck. They say it's the
most dramatic thing after childbirth,
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00:06:44,940 --> 00:06:45,439
don't they?
121
00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:46,440
How would you know?
122
00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:48,900
Oh, right, hang on then.
123
00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:54,320
Yeah, go on.
124
00:06:58,990 --> 00:07:00,410
Right, I'll see you Tuesday, then. Bye.
125
00:07:01,730 --> 00:07:03,070
That was David. The movie.
126
00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:04,390
Where to?
127
00:07:04,410 --> 00:07:06,350
The Gables, Sefton Park Drive.
128
00:07:06,710 --> 00:07:07,750
Sounds very nice.
129
00:07:08,690 --> 00:07:11,290
I'm sure it won't be long before you're
ready for something more.
130
00:07:11,570 --> 00:07:15,490
Could I describe to him precisely how to
plumb in a washing machine? I ask you,
131
00:07:15,490 --> 00:07:16,329
some people.
132
00:07:16,330 --> 00:07:18,530
So you said you'd go round and do it for
him.
133
00:07:18,870 --> 00:07:20,650
Well, I said I'd help. I mean, it's
easy, isn't it?
134
00:07:20,870 --> 00:07:21,870
Sure it is.
135
00:07:22,710 --> 00:07:24,670
Some people are really stupid about
these things.
136
00:07:25,150 --> 00:07:27,030
Yes, some people really are.
137
00:07:31,340 --> 00:07:33,860
Come on, you lot, speak up. Haven't you
got no homes to go to?
138
00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:35,220
They've all gone, Harold.
139
00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:36,480
Oh, have they?
140
00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:37,640
Well, you'd better lock up, then.
141
00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:40,720
Oh, all right, never mind. I'll do it.
142
00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:47,380
Sorry, madam, we're closed.
143
00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:50,080
Yeah, I just went and worked with it.
Ah, the doctor.
144
00:07:50,860 --> 00:07:51,860
Pinted that you're eminent.
145
00:07:52,460 --> 00:07:56,200
Yeah, I tried this. Special for you. Can
be taken either end, depending on your
146
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:57,200
problem.
147
00:07:57,540 --> 00:08:00,100
Look, I just came here to apologise.
148
00:08:00,890 --> 00:08:01,890
Before, what have you done?
149
00:08:01,970 --> 00:08:03,650
On behalf of my colleague.
150
00:08:03,990 --> 00:08:05,510
Ah, Dr Hannibal Lecter.
151
00:08:06,730 --> 00:08:07,910
Why couldn't he come himself?
152
00:08:08,310 --> 00:08:10,790
Oh, he's drying out. In more senses than
one.
153
00:08:11,090 --> 00:08:14,990
Look, I'm afraid he's a drop too much,
and, well, he shouldn't have done what
154
00:08:14,990 --> 00:08:18,810
did. I think I pointed that out to him.
Yeah, you did, rather. He's lucky not to
155
00:08:18,810 --> 00:08:21,190
be finding out what life's like at the
other end of the stethoscope.
156
00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:23,010
Probably to take care of yourself.
157
00:08:23,430 --> 00:08:25,170
Yeah, we were learning through young old
peasants.
158
00:08:25,390 --> 00:08:26,390
Yeah, what's another thing?
159
00:08:26,610 --> 00:08:27,770
He couldn't have said those things.
160
00:08:28,450 --> 00:08:29,450
What do you want, pal?
161
00:08:30,590 --> 00:08:32,250
Jonathan. He's not here.
162
00:08:33,770 --> 00:08:34,950
My name's Jonathan.
163
00:08:35,330 --> 00:08:36,229
Well, I wouldn't complain.
164
00:08:36,230 --> 00:08:37,230
You could have called your jet again.
165
00:08:37,909 --> 00:08:38,909
So?
166
00:08:39,370 --> 00:08:41,590
Well, just a story about earlier.
167
00:08:42,190 --> 00:08:43,230
As you said, and?
168
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:46,510
And can I take you home or anything?
169
00:08:47,350 --> 00:08:48,450
How can I put this?
170
00:08:49,230 --> 00:08:50,710
Remember the second word's knotted.
171
00:08:52,770 --> 00:08:53,770
Fair enough.
172
00:08:54,290 --> 00:08:56,750
But the intention's honourable, I assure
you.
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00:08:57,410 --> 00:08:58,970
Bye. Jonathan.
174
00:08:59,839 --> 00:09:00,779
The smarm.
175
00:09:00,780 --> 00:09:02,000
Save it for your patients, eh?
176
00:09:04,860 --> 00:09:05,699
Ta -ra, girl.
177
00:09:05,700 --> 00:09:06,700
And don't be late in tomorrow.
178
00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:13,740
That canteen is just a hotbed of tittle
-tattle. Mind, it's about the only hot
179
00:09:13,740 --> 00:09:17,140
thing that comes out of there. I had the
ravioli this lunchtime, and the warmest
180
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:19,700
thing was the cutlery. And that was only
because it had just come out the
181
00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:20,700
dishwasher.
182
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:25,440
So I caught up with Jean at the till,
and I persuaded her to go hard on a
183
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,239
of brown sauce.
184
00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:27,630
I mean, ten... Pence is ridiculous.
185
00:09:28,270 --> 00:09:30,650
Well, she wasn't keen because she was
only having an apple.
186
00:09:31,050 --> 00:09:36,010
She was upset, you see, because while
she was looking for a four and a half in
187
00:09:36,010 --> 00:09:39,390
suede, she overheard a customer say, I'm
all right, thanks, the fat one's
188
00:09:39,390 --> 00:09:40,390
serving me.
189
00:09:41,050 --> 00:09:42,510
Are you two listening to me?
190
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:46,930
Yeah. Mind you, she is on the heavy
side, though I thought it was dead cruel
191
00:09:46,930 --> 00:09:50,490
when someone wrote in the staff lift
underneath the sign, five people only,
192
00:09:50,490 --> 00:09:51,730
two people and Jean.
193
00:09:52,970 --> 00:09:54,210
Get that with one of you.
194
00:09:54,700 --> 00:09:58,520
Oh, and if it's Mrs Lewis wanting me to
do overtime on Saturday, tell her I'm
195
00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:00,440
out. Unless it's on cosmetics.
196
00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:06,320
You know, I'm a bit worried about you,
Gerald. All this reading. Why can't you
197
00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:08,400
be like normal kids and watch telly all
evening?
198
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,080
Hello? Hiya.
199
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:14,040
Er, yeah, I'm as it happens.
200
00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:17,300
Yeah, that should be all right. Just
drop him round.
201
00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:20,640
Sounds bad.
202
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:22,200
Childbirth?
203
00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:25,750
And what would he know?
204
00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:27,710
Yeah, that's all right.
205
00:10:28,110 --> 00:10:29,110
All right, we'll see you then.
206
00:10:31,910 --> 00:10:35,130
How's our Pam? She's moving on Tuesday
and wants me to look after the kids.
207
00:10:35,130 --> 00:10:36,290
turn.
208
00:10:38,210 --> 00:10:40,590
Actually, it could be our Pam again. She
didn't tell me what time she was
209
00:10:40,590 --> 00:10:41,449
dropping them off.
210
00:10:41,450 --> 00:10:42,590
She's not coming here, is she?
211
00:10:46,130 --> 00:10:47,130
Hello, Delphi Hotel.
212
00:10:47,670 --> 00:10:48,750
Oh, sorry, wrong number.
213
00:10:49,010 --> 00:10:50,010
No, just kidding. Who do you want?
214
00:10:50,210 --> 00:10:51,310
Oh, is Brenda Wilson there?
215
00:10:51,510 --> 00:10:52,389
Hang on.
216
00:10:52,390 --> 00:10:53,329
Hey, Dozie.
217
00:10:53,330 --> 00:10:55,070
What? Scream soon, it's for you.
218
00:10:56,510 --> 00:10:57,510
Hello?
219
00:11:00,210 --> 00:11:02,410
Is that Brenda Walsh from the Grapes?
220
00:11:02,890 --> 00:11:04,110
Yeah, where did you get me number?
221
00:11:04,930 --> 00:11:05,930
I can't say.
222
00:11:06,110 --> 00:11:07,069
You can't?
223
00:11:07,070 --> 00:11:08,990
Well, next time I see him, I'll stamp on
his glasses.
224
00:11:09,270 --> 00:11:10,270
What are you doing Tuesday?
225
00:11:10,590 --> 00:11:11,469
I'm working.
226
00:11:11,470 --> 00:11:12,910
No, you're not. It's your day off.
227
00:11:13,170 --> 00:11:14,670
Then I'll stamp on his spare pair.
228
00:11:14,990 --> 00:11:16,670
Come on, I'm off most of Tuesday too.
229
00:11:17,250 --> 00:11:18,169
No, I'm busy.
230
00:11:18,170 --> 00:11:20,450
No, you're not. But what day would you
go out? Just for the afternoon.
231
00:11:20,770 --> 00:11:22,750
You don't want to be stuck in that
Delphi hotel all day.
232
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:25,580
Well, it's not exactly the Adelphi. No,
I didn't think it was.
233
00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:26,920
Tell me something.
234
00:11:27,060 --> 00:11:28,360
What's Pulex Irritant?
235
00:11:28,940 --> 00:11:30,320
Ah. Ah!
236
00:11:30,700 --> 00:11:32,320
Well, if I tell you, you won't come.
237
00:11:32,580 --> 00:11:33,580
Well, I'm not coming anyway.
238
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:34,780
Then I'm not telling you.
239
00:11:35,380 --> 00:11:36,480
OK. OK.
240
00:11:36,940 --> 00:11:39,440
OK, I'll come and you can tell me then.
Right, that's great.
241
00:11:39,660 --> 00:11:42,360
We'll just go up... I'll meet you at the
top of Lark Lane at two and bring a
242
00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:44,120
loaf. A loaf? And don't be late.
243
00:11:48,340 --> 00:11:49,760
Brenda, could you help me, please?
244
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:13,400
Right, fellas.
245
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,660
Good work.
246
00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:26,700
Oh, sorry.
247
00:12:30,220 --> 00:12:31,620
Okay.
248
00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:46,500
It did occur to me that when you and our
Brenda split that we wouldn't see much
249
00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:47,099
of you.
250
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,980
But then David values your friendship.
251
00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:51,380
What a practical level, so to speak.
252
00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:53,260
Him being more cerebral.
253
00:12:53,980 --> 00:12:54,980
I'm glad about that.
254
00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:56,940
It's not as if you split with animosity.
255
00:12:57,380 --> 00:12:58,380
No.
256
00:12:58,540 --> 00:12:59,880
Well, Brenda, you split with.
257
00:13:02,820 --> 00:13:06,160
But it's nice that you can do it
civilised. I'm sure I couldn't.
258
00:13:06,660 --> 00:13:10,360
If David walked out on me, well, he
wouldn't walk far because I'd break both
259
00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:11,360
legs.
260
00:13:12,110 --> 00:13:14,590
They're way different being a tender,
loving couple with kids.
261
00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:18,710
Yeah, I'm sure you're right. It's best
if you can do things in a civilised way,
262
00:13:18,790 --> 00:13:21,610
yeah. I mean, I'd like to think Lucinda
and Brenda could be friends.
263
00:13:22,070 --> 00:13:23,450
They haven't got a lot in common,
though, have they?
264
00:13:24,310 --> 00:13:25,310
Well, nothing really.
265
00:13:26,150 --> 00:13:27,590
Apart from the fact that they both had
me.
266
00:13:28,290 --> 00:13:32,450
Oh, I don't mean in the sense that they
had me. I mean the fact that they had
267
00:13:32,450 --> 00:13:33,450
me.
268
00:13:35,770 --> 00:13:39,770
I just don't see why you have to do it
now. For heaven's sake, Pamela, it's the
269
00:13:39,770 --> 00:13:41,290
second round of the finish open.
270
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:43,200
Stupid thing!
271
00:13:43,420 --> 00:13:46,280
That's brilliant, isn't it? Hitting a
television set because it doesn't work.
272
00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:48,540
Oh, I'm sorry, David. Don't hit me
again.
273
00:13:48,740 --> 00:13:50,120
Is that what she wanted?
274
00:13:50,900 --> 00:13:52,800
What? Just tell Malcolm to come through.
275
00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:56,020
He's really doing the washer, and after
that, the microwave needs a longer lead.
276
00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:57,780
No sense of priorities, you people.
277
00:13:58,980 --> 00:14:02,000
Yeah. Yeah, and that's why I've always
been a determinist, really.
278
00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:04,740
I mean, what will be, will be.
279
00:14:05,820 --> 00:14:09,140
And it's no use crying over spilt milk
that's gone a bit sour because you can't
280
00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:11,400
teach an old dog to change its leopards
midstream, can you, Pam?
281
00:14:12,780 --> 00:14:13,780
Pam?
282
00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:15,760
Pam?
283
00:14:17,260 --> 00:14:18,260
Talk to yourself.
284
00:14:19,660 --> 00:14:20,660
I suppose they have been.
285
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:03,120
I haven't brought any butter.
286
00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:04,840
That's all right. We're grateful for
anything.
287
00:15:06,060 --> 00:15:07,400
And you're in breakfast accommodation?
288
00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:08,859
Well, we are now.
289
00:15:08,860 --> 00:15:10,960
It was getting a bit cramped for the six
of us in the refuge.
290
00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:13,460
Refuge? Barred lives?
291
00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:15,180
Yeah, even though I'm not.
292
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:16,900
Flattered? A wife.
293
00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:18,160
You wouldn't, you see.
294
00:15:18,260 --> 00:15:20,180
And then later on I found out he already
was.
295
00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:22,380
But things are better now.
296
00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:23,800
Well, so comparative.
297
00:15:24,860 --> 00:15:25,860
I suppose so.
298
00:15:27,700 --> 00:15:28,880
And you've got your own phone.
299
00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:31,520
Well, it's in the hall just outside our
room.
300
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:33,040
Incoming calls only.
301
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,620
Court. That was our Gerald who answered
the phone. He's a bit of a joker.
302
00:15:36,900 --> 00:15:37,739
I got that.
303
00:15:37,740 --> 00:15:38,739
He's my eldest.
304
00:15:38,740 --> 00:15:42,600
Then there's Sarah and Zelda and Kelvin
and Donna.
305
00:15:43,260 --> 00:15:46,340
They're both in town at the moment
looking after cars for people. And then
306
00:15:46,340 --> 00:15:47,119
there's Gran.
307
00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:48,120
Poor old Gran.
308
00:15:48,940 --> 00:15:50,220
It just needs retuning.
309
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:52,900
You see, in your old house you'd be on
Melly Park.
310
00:15:53,140 --> 00:15:55,760
But here you're on Winter Hill, except
that you should be on Staunton. But
311
00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:57,760
that's horizontally polarised, so you'd
need a different aerial.
312
00:15:57,980 --> 00:15:59,360
Yes, well, I thought we might, yeah.
313
00:15:59,580 --> 00:16:00,580
Was that why you...
314
00:16:01,620 --> 00:16:03,740
Yeah, it's much easier these days with
auto -channel scanning.
315
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,760
You used to have to tune each channel
button in manually.
316
00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:07,280
No, hold it!
317
00:16:07,380 --> 00:16:08,380
There it is.
318
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:11,120
Looks like Ballisteros on the fourth.
Right, thanks, Mel.
319
00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:14,800
Or the other station. No, later, later.
This is all we need at the moment. We?
320
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:16,800
Yes, yes. You can have Malcolm back now.
321
00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:19,800
You can't impose on Malcolm any longer.
He'll still be wondering what's
322
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:22,140
happening here. No, no, she's on till
ten. I've got to pick her up from the
323
00:16:22,140 --> 00:16:23,140
hospital. Oh, so you're not in any
hurry?
324
00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:26,900
Well, it's been making a lot of noise
and slurping things around, but it
325
00:16:26,900 --> 00:16:27,920
actually swallowed anything.
326
00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:30,620
Oh, which reminds me, would you like to
stay for tea?
327
00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:33,980
There's a dollar piece around the
corner. Oh, you could nip round to the
328
00:16:33,980 --> 00:16:34,859
in the last lane.
329
00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:38,580
I'd send David, but he says it's not
good for his image to be seen queuing
330
00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:40,420
chips. Look, I'll show you.
331
00:16:44,340 --> 00:16:45,680
It's probably quite simple.
332
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:47,840
Like me.
333
00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:51,860
It's dead hard living on the fitness I
get working at the grapes.
334
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:55,360
I just can't see how you can manage,
especially with five kids.
335
00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:57,260
Well, their grandma's a big help.
336
00:16:57,500 --> 00:17:01,240
She looks after them while I'm out
slogging over a hot glass washer. But it
337
00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:03,660
hard. It doesn't help her being an
invalid.
338
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:04,899
An invalid?
339
00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:07,500
Well, of this accident, she can't speak
properly now.
340
00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:09,280
You can't blame her, Jaddle.
341
00:17:09,819 --> 00:17:11,119
She's only four at the time.
342
00:17:11,540 --> 00:17:14,119
And how should they know that you
shouldn't turn on a food processor while
343
00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:15,119
someone's licking it out?
344
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:16,619
I need to be more careful.
345
00:17:16,900 --> 00:17:17,900
Well, I haven't eaten tongue since.
346
00:17:19,109 --> 00:17:20,390
These two look pretty destitute.
347
00:17:20,730 --> 00:17:21,730
Oh, it's all Oxfam stuff.
348
00:17:22,030 --> 00:17:23,030
Of course.
349
00:17:24,069 --> 00:17:25,069
So who's are they?
350
00:17:25,950 --> 00:17:28,369
Eh? These two. Who's are they?
351
00:17:29,370 --> 00:17:30,830
What's Pulex Irriton?
352
00:17:33,130 --> 00:17:34,130
Fleas.
353
00:17:34,570 --> 00:17:37,990
What, so your mate was saying that the
grapes was riddled with fleas? No, he
354
00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:39,090
just... A snotty doctor.
355
00:17:39,530 --> 00:17:40,530
Look at him.
356
00:17:42,210 --> 00:17:43,470
Hello? Hello.
357
00:17:43,790 --> 00:17:44,790
Who's are they?
358
00:17:45,550 --> 00:17:46,550
They're my sisters.
359
00:17:46,970 --> 00:17:50,290
Thought you'd like it when you saw us
coming. I might have seen you before you
360
00:17:50,290 --> 00:17:50,969
filmed me.
361
00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:52,130
Oh, you don't heart you doctors.
362
00:17:52,630 --> 00:17:53,630
I'm glad I did.
363
00:17:54,170 --> 00:17:55,810
He's moving into a place across the
park.
364
00:17:56,110 --> 00:17:57,890
I'm just keeping him out of the way for
the afternoon.
365
00:17:58,330 --> 00:17:59,330
And the look?
366
00:17:59,490 --> 00:18:00,490
These guys.
367
00:18:15,310 --> 00:18:17,690
Oh, yeah, yeah, lovely. From the couple
next door.
368
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:19,230
He's an orthodontist.
369
00:18:19,430 --> 00:18:20,430
Oh, that's handy.
370
00:18:20,750 --> 00:18:23,890
From Paul and Jenny. Hope you'll be very
happy here.
371
00:18:24,450 --> 00:18:25,550
Fat -headed Lizzie.
372
00:18:25,890 --> 00:18:28,050
That's not very nice, is it? The plants.
373
00:18:28,610 --> 00:18:30,930
It's a cross between ivy and fascia.
374
00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:33,890
Oh, I shall have to get them more
houseplants.
375
00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:36,030
They'd better go with a house like this.
376
00:18:36,390 --> 00:18:37,470
You can let them grow.
377
00:18:38,250 --> 00:18:39,670
It's hard to stop them.
378
00:18:40,350 --> 00:18:41,410
But not cat's eye.
379
00:18:41,630 --> 00:18:42,770
They're a bit common, aren't they?
380
00:18:43,190 --> 00:18:44,430
Do you like cat's eye, Malcolm?
381
00:18:45,770 --> 00:18:47,530
No. I wouldn't deliberately harm one,
though.
382
00:18:49,550 --> 00:18:50,970
It, er, seems all right.
383
00:18:51,550 --> 00:18:52,550
What, the plants?
384
00:18:52,710 --> 00:18:53,710
No, the waste disposal.
385
00:18:53,950 --> 00:18:55,350
I'll just take the waste flowpipe
outside.
386
00:19:05,110 --> 00:19:06,170
Hi, Anne. You ever get hungry?
387
00:19:06,530 --> 00:19:08,150
Well, it is about time. Oh, hello.
388
00:19:08,670 --> 00:19:09,649
This is Jonathan.
389
00:19:09,650 --> 00:19:11,910
Pleased to meet you. And I'm pleased to
meet you. Oh, you're Scottish.
390
00:19:12,370 --> 00:19:13,339
I'll keep you to it.
391
00:19:13,340 --> 00:19:14,960
He's a barman on an exchange visit.
392
00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:16,220
What are you doing with the grapes?
393
00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:19,620
I've sent a couple to Glasgow. I should
send a few more of them to keep total.
394
00:19:19,860 --> 00:19:20,920
You asked it again, Brent.
395
00:19:21,180 --> 00:19:22,260
The pools are a wee bit mucky.
396
00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:26,100
Oh, yes. Well, if you'd like to take
them round the side, Jonathan, we've got
397
00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:27,100
outhouse there.
398
00:19:52,490 --> 00:19:54,310
Have I not seen you in all creatures
great and small?
399
00:19:56,530 --> 00:19:58,050
No. Oh, right.
400
00:20:05,610 --> 00:20:08,090
I don't know what you've done with her,
but she's out like a light.
401
00:20:08,810 --> 00:20:09,810
So what do you think?
402
00:20:10,010 --> 00:20:13,430
Hmm, very palatial. The couple next door
are very nice. They bought us a
403
00:20:13,430 --> 00:20:14,430
housewarming plant.
404
00:20:14,650 --> 00:20:15,870
And you set it on fire.
405
00:20:16,850 --> 00:20:17,850
So who is he?
406
00:20:18,470 --> 00:20:20,030
Who? Oh, I don't know.
407
00:20:20,330 --> 00:20:21,530
Brenda. No.
408
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:23,960
I was just coming through the park and I
saw this bloke with a bottle of meth
409
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:25,120
rummaging through a dustbin.
410
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:27,980
All right, I'll tell you the truth.
411
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:32,340
He's a docker. Or at least that's what
it sounded like. Why can't it sound it
412
00:20:32,340 --> 00:20:35,240
like? You mean he's a docker? Going out
with you?
413
00:20:36,740 --> 00:20:40,060
Well, he is from north of the border,
where they're just sprinkled with
414
00:20:40,060 --> 00:20:43,980
rather than marinated in it like we are.
I can never accuse us of anything like
415
00:20:43,980 --> 00:20:47,180
that. David, could you come through,
please, and help me take Sarah up to the
416
00:20:47,180 --> 00:20:48,180
nursery?
417
00:20:52,060 --> 00:20:54,320
Please, come in. Sorry I closed the
door.
418
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:55,760
Ignore her. She did it on purpose.
419
00:20:56,120 --> 00:20:57,820
I'm afraid my shoes are a bit mucky as
well.
420
00:20:58,040 --> 00:20:59,040
Oh, that's all right.
421
00:20:59,220 --> 00:21:00,220
Doctor.
422
00:21:00,500 --> 00:21:02,240
I'll probably just call a doctor.
Congratulations.
423
00:21:02,860 --> 00:21:05,740
Please, leave them on. Just lift them
up. She'll lick them clean for you.
424
00:21:08,060 --> 00:21:09,740
I'll make some tea. Is the kitchen
through there?
425
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:12,940
Yes. Oh, this is David, my husband.
426
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:14,640
He's a consultant.
427
00:21:15,220 --> 00:21:18,220
Oh, pleased to meet you. A PR
consultant.
428
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:19,440
Public relations.
429
00:21:19,580 --> 00:21:20,580
Of course.
430
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:21,900
You're Scottish, aren't you?
431
00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:24,920
You folk are quick at sporting these
things, aren't you? I just thought you
432
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:25,920
might be interested in the golf.
433
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:27,280
What are you playing there?
434
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:31,380
David, just because Jonathan's Scottish
doesn't mean he... I am interested,
435
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:32,480
actually. All right, come through.
436
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:33,720
David!
437
00:21:34,260 --> 00:21:36,260
I'll just lead to the wee one, back in a
tick.
438
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:37,600
Excuse me.
439
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:48,300
Turn it
440
00:21:48,300 --> 00:21:49,300
off! Turn it off!
441
00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:53,680
Pass me that spanner, will you?
442
00:21:54,120 --> 00:21:55,120
Yes.
443
00:21:57,900 --> 00:21:59,980
It's over there, by the fact that we're
busy.
444
00:22:03,540 --> 00:22:04,540
Thanks, pal.
445
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:06,080
Thanks, guys.
446
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:08,440
Who are you talking to?
447
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:13,240
One of these days, I'll ask you a
question and get a straight answer.
448
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:14,940
You just did. Come on, we're going.
449
00:22:15,220 --> 00:22:15,819
Where to?
450
00:22:15,820 --> 00:22:17,180
Well, you want to take me for a meal,
don't you?
451
00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:18,880
Yeah. Brilliant.
452
00:22:21,999 --> 00:22:24,300
Yeah, Jonathan's just spotted a Pulex
irritans.
453
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:29,420
A Pulex irritans?
454
00:22:29,700 --> 00:22:31,480
I think he came third in the Burmese
Open.
455
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:38,800
Well,
456
00:22:40,340 --> 00:22:41,340
thanks very much for the meal.
457
00:22:41,580 --> 00:22:42,580
It was lovely.
458
00:22:42,700 --> 00:22:45,320
Well, it's the least I'd do for someone
who hasn't eaten for three days.
459
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:46,740
Actually, it was only two.
460
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:49,320
What about a coffee? I'm not until
twelve.
461
00:22:49,620 --> 00:22:50,620
No, thanks.
462
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:51,960
I'll give you a ring tomorrow.
463
00:22:52,660 --> 00:22:53,660
Thanks for seeing me home.
464
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:54,939
That's all right.
465
00:22:54,940 --> 00:22:55,940
Could have been attacked.
466
00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:57,600
By a talking black hole?
467
00:22:57,900 --> 00:22:59,580
Maybe. So who was it?
468
00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:01,300
Who? At the house.
469
00:23:01,780 --> 00:23:02,780
Was that?
470
00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:04,860
Just the one I'm never going to see
again.
471
00:23:05,460 --> 00:23:06,399
Like that, eh?
472
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:08,160
Yeah. Just like that.
473
00:23:08,740 --> 00:23:09,740
I'll see you.
474
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:26,060
Sorry, there was an emergency.
475
00:23:26,500 --> 00:23:27,500
Have you been asleep?
476
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:31,060
Yeah. For a long, long time.
477
00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,520
Melt me with a smile.
478
00:24:00,140 --> 00:24:01,280
Don't make me laugh.
34588
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