Original subtitles

It was boredom at first sight.

You could hardly call him right.

He is no one's Mr.

Right. So what do I see in him?

But then, I'm not so ideal.

I'm not gentle or genteel. So the question should be, what does he...

Thank you.

Oi. How'd your meeting go?

I would have preferred my last attendance to be a little less

Are you leaving?

I've no choice.

I see.

I mentioned your new situation.

He's left mod shops, I said.

Own business now.

He deals in ancient motorbikes.

I don't deal, I mend.

And it's vintage, not ancient.

Do you now?

Mrs Connolly was at the meeting.

So? Her brother -in -law is head buyer for Mod Shop's northern region.

Oh, that's strange.

Because we never sold any... ...heads.

Yes, and that's just the sort of stupid remark that's got you into this mess.

What mess?

He was at the dinner.

The dinner?

The Mod Shop's dinner.

Attended by all that matter in the firm.

And you had to take the bold Miss Doolittle.

Only this time she did a lot, didn't she?

Oh. You might well, oh. Didn't think I'd find out, did you?

Oh, I could have died.

And Mrs. Lloyd -Roberts there as well.

What, at the dinner? This afternoon's meeting.

You didn't leave Marge's shops, did you? You were sat.

I resigned.

It was her, wasn't it?

Insulting Mr. Fowler like that in front of all those people. Oh, he insulted

Brenda. He's the managing director.

He's allowed to insult anybody.

Mother, I've left and I'm glad I've left.

I don't mean what I've always wanted to do.

Oh, you mean nothing.

I mean working on bikes.

And in two weeks, how many bikes have you actually worked on?

One. And whose is that?

Mine. Come on, isn't it? I hope you pay yourself well.

And for this, you gave up a job with collar and tie and prospect.

Yeah, well, I have advertised, but it takes time for word to get around.

Well, maybe I am too specialised.

Well, perhaps we could take any kind of bike until the business gets going.

What do you think?

Or do you prefer... I haven't thought Malcolm's mistake more appropriate.

Or even Stoneway's stupidity.

And your bell doesn't work either.

I think I'll do three laps tonight.

Hi.

Fancy another one?

No.

All right.

I'll see you later on tonight.

See you then.

Is there? It's blowing.

You know when you came out of the park?

Yeah. To drop the road?

Yeah.

Did the traffic stop?

It doesn't try to get any weight down that door.

One lap of that park and you'd end up a grease spot on the pavement.

How many do you do? Just one.

Give it two miles right round.

It's not, is it?

Why don't you just pull your belly in a bit?

Did David run with you tonight?

Yeah. It was local, actually.

He was running back... No, he'd only laugh.

What happened?

Nothing, I'm telling you. Tripped over his wallet.

It wasn't funny.

Did he hurt himself?

Yeah. Then it was funny.

Oh, what happened? Oh, getting lost.

Oh, wait, Pamela, you're becoming a right old misery gutter these days.

Apart from jogging, you never go anywhere.

You must be the cheapest plate of fried salad that fella's ever had.

I left early.

Have they been getting at you again? Yeah.

Who is it, McBottle? Oh, and the rest.

Do you know, we carry more half -cut passengers around in that place than a

sassy night bus.

You try and get things up, just like flogging a dead horse.

So you sit curled up on the city every night, with darling David using your

right ear as a piece of chewing gum.

So, Pamela, what a life.

Nothing but flogging, jogging and snogging.

Still a built -up reputation.

You're certainly doing that.

As a bike mechanic.

They're not specialised.

That's chance.

You've no qualifications.

You didn't fail that night school course I paid for you to go on. Oh, I didn't

fail. I packed in.

Same difference?

Not at all. I wasn't interested. It was your idea.

You enrolled me because Mrs Lloyd -Rovitz's daughter was on it, that's

well, you give in too easily.

Something might have come of that if you'd stuck at it.

I'm not even interested in wok cookery.

Nor Clarice Lloyd -Roberts, come to that.

I'm sure the feeling was mutual. She was more interested in riding than fox

hunting. Yes, well, you might have given it a try.

I couldn't.

I haven't got a horse, and they don't like it when you turn up on your

motorbike.

And also, my IQ isn't low enough.

Oh, very hilarious.

Well, you may mock Malcolm Stoneway, but they are the people who can't.

Yeah, only up to ten, then you'll have to take the shoes and socks off.

I see.

We're in one of our militant tendency moves, are we?

That's something else you picked up over there from that one.

We never discuss politics.

Not interested.

Typical. Well, you'll be the first to scream and then that's live the

countryside and you can't go birdwatching.

That's what's up with your generation.

No sense of responsibility.

Leave it all to somebody else.

Well, you may mock the Lloyd Roberts, but it's them and their friends that

this country going.

Backwards. Oh, no.

Look, when the House of Lords tried to stop the poll tax law, who was it the

government called on to get it through?

Well, it wasn't Brenda.

Lord Chester.

And Clarice Lloyd Roberts has a friend who knows his granddaughter.

But it wasn't just him.

Hundreds of them went down there. Anyway, it said in the paper he was too

Went to Westminster Abbey by mistake.

I'm interested in politics.

Now, perhaps I should be, but I'm not.

Nor what cookery, nor Clarice Lloyd -Roberts, nor sumo wrestling.

I just like birds and bikes. And if I can't make a living out of looking at

first, I'm going to try making one out of mending the second.

Anyway, you're supposed to be so keen on free enterprise, you should be

encouraging me.

Free enterprise?

Well, the enterprise comes in.

It's like the free living you've settled for.

Well, I can't keep you. You won't have to. I'm hoping to get a grant from the

enterprise allowance scheme.

Charity, you mean? There'd be heavenly key quiet about it.

No atmosphere on the committee when Alice Codley admitted her mother got

on wheels.

Not quite.

Try again.

You said that to her?

I wish I'd been there.

Good job you weren't. She reckons it was all your fault.

Oh, that's not fair.

Yeah, it is. OK, it is.

Anyway, she says she's going to see what she can do, whatever that means.

Perhaps she'll get Mrs Lloyd -Roberts to bring in a Suzuki 750 for her service.

Well, of course, of course.

Now, I'm sure your business will pick up soon.

But you should make the most of your spare time while you've still got some.

I think so.

You're right.

So what about a day out tomorrow?

Tomorrow? You can insist. Where are we going?

I don't know.

You want to surprise me, then. Fair enough.

Actually, there is somewhere I haven't been for ages.

Trouble is, the bike's all stripped down. It'll take me most of tomorrow to

reassemble it.

Can't we make it Sunday?

I wish we must, but I don't know how we'll live through tomorrow.

I'll probably wander the streets aimlessly.

Hey, look who's here.

Oh, it's Frank Bruno in trainer.

Which is which.

Hi. Hi. Do you want anything?

Oh, we're all right, thanks.

Just a pair of sunglasses, please, until Pam's place sets.

We haven't been yet.

Excuse me.

You shouldn't be in here. This place is out of bounds for the pretty healthy.

I just had a sudden urge.

Oh, it's down the corridor.

I had one of them once.

What, an edge?

No, a tracksuit.

What happened to it?

Do you know, it's times like this when I wish I was doing the jogging and you

had to sit here and talk to him.

Hey,

what's that?

Advocat. Shouldn't you have it with Rubo?

It's very nice, actually.

It's like having to liquidise the canary.

Are you all right, love? Yeah, I'm OK.

She's just cut me right off.

Never mind, though. Mark will have it. He's a bird fancier.

You going round the park? Oh, just for an amble. Pam suddenly cut that one of

hers. So should you, dressed like that.

Mine had a little hood that pulled up with a string and kept your ears warm.

What had?

His first pair of wonder pants.

Trusted.

Didn't know you were a math freak, Mel.

Only in the foot.

Badminton. Represented Mel's under -14 in the mixed doubles.

Partner was very good.

Went on to play for Cheshire.

Did he?

No, it was a she because it was mixed.

Oh, it was a joke, wasn't it? Well picked up, Mal. She doesn't manage many

days. Actually, I told David what you said.

What? That we haven't been getting out enough lately, so we're thinking of a

tomorrow. Hey, so are we. What about a foursome?

Ah, what do you think, Pam?

Well, we haven't actually... Mal?

OK. Both could be at the bottom of the ottoman.

Your tracksuit.

Not that sort of run, Mal.

He's always like this when he hasn't had his rusk in the morning.

Tomorrow is Malcolm's... special day out. Not tomorrow?

Yes, tomorrow.

Why don't you join us?

It'll be a bit cramped, but there is two seats in the side car.

Wouldn't it be better in my car?

Oh, well, if you'd insist.

Mark can tell us how he wants to cock the shuttle with the Mel's miners.

They made them out of real feathers, you know.

What? Shuttle cocks.

That's one of the reasons I packed in.

I don't believe it.

It's true. He packed in straight after winning the Hoylaken District All

-Commerce Championship.

Right. But then he had to take a dose test, and what happened?

He passed.

Does anyone want an ice cream? No, thanks.

Nice. Do Lithuans enjoy themselves?

Always do that.

She was like this when she was a kid. Whenever we went out, she always had a

mouth and the legs and him. He's overdressed. You've brought the lead,

Hey, don't mention that. They won't let us in.

What?

What's your ice cream, Brenda? You're dripping it on your dress.

Oh, thanks, Uncle David. And don't start that business.

What business?

Yeah, Mum.

Why, when my dad comes home, mustn't I mention that Uncle David's been staying

at our house? Shut up.

I'll get that. Oh, no, that leaves my tree. Oh, no, Malcolm, we're flush.

Oh, will someone get them? The birds go to bed at six.

Three adults and one child, please.

Oh, sorry.

Oh, isn't it lovely?

Great. What's that brown one?

Where? Oh, that's a Philippine duck.

It says here they make a special flamingo suit.

Oh, true.

It's for the flamingos. Otherwise they'll lose their colour and won't

Oh, so that's why you two go jogging.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

I will catch you up later.

Come on, now.

Oh, God.

I've got all my faculties when I'm their age.

See you.

See you later.

Don't get any better, do you?

Well, they're meant to be the fit freak.

They're ten minutes walking around here and they're looking for a park bench to

crash out on.

It's like Peter Winkley.

Yeah, well, maybe they're just tired of something else.

Like what?

Like you.

Oh, knock it off, Malk.

Maybe it's a side with them just because you're getting near to your sell -by

date.

Look at this one.

Pink foot.

Pink feet.

No, that is a pink -footed goose.

So they are pink -feeted geeses?

No, it's not.

It's not.

Fine.

Shoveler.

Oh, yeah?

And pintail.

And moorhen.

One more pencil.

How do you feel?

Fine. No more jogging, eh?

Why not?

It takes too much out of you.

The only thing that takes it out of me is that darling sister of mine, and she

takes it out of everyone.

Why do we agree?

Come. Yeah. I don't know.

Story of my life. When we were kids, Mum used to bribe me to take her out.

Ten pence for every hour she was off the premises.

You were robbed. I know. I knew it then.

One time I made sandwiches and took her out for the whole day. That put me on a

bonus and I got two quid.

Then in the evening I lost the lot playing pontoon. Who was?

Brenda. How old was she? Six.

Never mind.

All that's behind you now.

I've still got to live with her.

Yeah, not for long.

You haven't told her yet?

No, I wanted you with me.

Break it to her gently.

have ever come of it. What?

A Guilford goose trying to mate with a grey -chested gannet.

There he goes.

Heading for the bird table.

Which reminds me... You're hungry.

But maybe they want to be left on their own.

Maybe.

Funny that, Mel.

They often have that effect on people.

Oh, look at the little fluffies. Oh, yeah?

Look at the whole bottle of apricot.

Thanks a lot.

You didn't escape, did you? It was worth a try.

Tea, is it, Brent?

Yes, please.

Yeah, it's very educational.

It's not that bad.

Anybody there?

All right, all right.

You. What do you want?

What are you doing here?

Melodies.

Two teas, please.

Teas? Are you sure?

I've just emptied pot.

Have lemonade.

I'd prefer tea.

You realise it means...

Boiling water.

And there it was, a sparrowhawk, less than 20 feet away.

And do you know what it had in its beak?

27 volumes of the Encyclopedia Britannica.

What? You're not bloody listening, are you?

I've got something to tell you.

Now? Yes.

Gently.

Brenda. Oh, here it comes.

All right, I promise not to call your mum or... or the other way round.

Or tell a fella on the gate that Malcolm's an unemployed tachydermist.

What? I'm pregnant.

That's gentle.

Pregnant? Pregnant.

As in having a... Baby, yes.

Pregnant? That's right.

Wow.

Pamela? Yes.

I hope you don't mind me asking, but do you know who the father is?

I don't know, do I? That was not funny.

I wasn't trying to be.

Malcolm?

What? You'd better make Dad a double.

It doesn't seem to be anybody serving.

Well, they have been over here.

What was

it again?

Two teas.

You haven't changed your mind or anything?

No, of course not.

Just that we're closer to our past.

Be Auntie Brenda.

And me mum.

Be a granny.

She'll kill you.

Your mother a bit shockable, is she? No, she just takes the kids.

What, ever since?

Brenda, yeah.

Hey, you'll never guess who's over there.

Who?

Oh, you wouldn't know him.

Well, then how can I guess?

It's true.

So, what do you think of this place?

Oh, it's very nice.

Big, isn't it?

Lots to see.

Yes, we followed the red trail.

Oh, towards Millersbridge Hide.

Been all the way?

Not half the haven't. And, er,

I'm happy.

Why not?

Well, I'm not sure he knows about these things.

What things?

Look, Mark, are you sitting comfortably?

I'm going to be an auntie.

Or, if it's a boy, an uncle.

That's not to sound surprised.

Well, from what you've said about her, she is pretty wild.

What? Who is?

You're Sandra.

Sure I can't get you anything?

No, thanks. We'll be getting on.

Yeah, you're right.

Best she doesn't overdo things, isn't it?

She's not ill.

Oh, no, no, of course not.

Well, I'm stupid, aren't I? I should have guessed.

Why? Well, all the signs were there.

Craving funny drinks.

Going yucky over those chicks.

And every ten minutes dying for the... What's up?

Brenda was just saying how stupid she is.

Yeah. No need to agree.

Your mother?

Yeah.

Picture time.

Hello. Full house.

I think you know everybody.

Oh, it's Mr Lynch, isn't it? From Guildford.

That's right.

I recognise the car.

Oh, yes. I'm changing it soon. Oh, for a family model?

Then what have you been up to lately?

Listen, ma 'am.

Especially that. Friend, uh, just you.

Well,

we'll be making our excuses.

Yes, it's been very nice meeting you again, Mrs. Stoneway. Oh, no, please,

leave on my account.

No, we've got to meet some friends at, uh, 6th Mercy. Oh, I see.

Now, um, before you go, I hope you don't mind my asking, but I don't suppose

you're related to Dr. Andrew Lynch?

Not that I'm aware. He lives in Chester now, but he's originally from down

south. Ah, well, there are one or two lynches in the house.

Yeah, I suppose so. It's just that you have similar features.

Yeah, and his car's the same colour as yours as well.

Bye. Goodbye.

Bye.

See you, then.

Thanks, Martin. Thanks for all this. All right.

Lovely day.

Bye -bye, then. See you later.

Want a cup? No, thank you.

Now, where have you been all day?

Oh, we went to Martin, may I? It's a wildfowl trust.

I know.

Brenda's staying for tea. Oh, is she?

Then is she going to help with your work?

Work? Oh, I'm sorry. I suppose I shouldn't use language like that in

company.

What are you talking about?

Your business is at last showing signs of life.

Customers have been calling.

Marvellous. It would have been if you'd been here instead of going off flamingo

spotting. It's Saturday. I'm entitled to one day off. You haven't had a day on

yet. They never could have left the machines here. They did.

There's just a fair chance there'll be more tomorrow. I suggest you start this

evening. Left the bikes in the garage.

How many?

Oh, erm, I won't stay then if he's got work to do.

As you wish.

It's taken off all of a sudden.

With a little help from yours, truly.

Look, Mark, I'll be making tracks.

No, don't. No, no, if you've got work to do.

It'll keep.

What's up?

You've been ringing round, haven't you? All morning.

Well, you said you were broadening out.

I repair motorbikes.