Original subtitles

Pierce, don't worry. The new Bondi would do 007 proud.

Is he really in there? But to tell you the truth, I've always been more partial

to Sean myself.

Connery?

He's a patient here. You must be here for the new receptionist position.

Yes, I am. You know, I have to tell you, you have a beautiful smile. It's an

obvious asset around here.

Among other obvious assets.

Here's your recommend. Thank you.

Very, very impressive.

Is that a chip I see?

Wait, let me see.

Yeah, I think it might be. Come with me. No.

I know I don't have any receptionistic experience, but

I'm a fast learner.

Wow.

I love your office.

Thank you.

You even play opera music.

You like the opera?

I adore opera.

Oh, well, I adore anyone who adores anyone who adores the opera.

That's funny.

So when can you start?

Really?

That's fantastic, Dr. Greeter!

I can't wait to tell my kids.

You're married?

Oh, my husband's dead.

Oh, but I have two really great kids, a little boy and a little girl.

Oh, but don't worry, I have the terrific sitter and, oh, I would take the job

very seriously.

I would never let you down, I promise, Dr. Greiner.

Greiner. Oh. But you can call me Sandy.

Sandy.

What about the tooth?

Oh, it's fine.

Oh,

that's my favorite opera.

I tried to get tickets, but they were all sold out. You know, I just happened

have an extra ticket for tonight's performance.

Really? Uh -huh. Plus, it does the patient. Even range VIP parking.

Wow. I'll tell you what.

Here's my address.

Why don't you come by, and I will drive, shall we say, around 7 .30.

Yeah. Uh, perfect.

Okay.

Ramon's here for his checkup.

His mom dropped him on her way to work.

I forgot.

So you're going to the opera tonight, huh?

What?

Oh, yeah, right, right.

Should I cancel the receptionist interview set up for tomorrow morning?

No.

No, put them on file.

I think I'm going to get lucky with Donna.

Good help is so hard to find. Do you have any idea how many receptionists

already been through?

All too well.

Cupid Catering.

Hey.

Where do you want this?

Oysters on a half shell, canapes, duck a l 'orange, chocolate -covered

strawberries.

A meal fit for royalty.

I still got time to make it to the opera.

Opera? How did you know I was going to the opera?

I'm not going anywhere.

If you know what I mean.

Appetite.

So then I heard opera music inside the house, so I went inside, and oh, the

was open, okay?

Just write that down, the door was open, okay?

Is he going to be all right?

Hey. Who are all these people? Did somebody die?

I?

Me. Yeah.

Am I having one of those out -of -body experiences, you know, where they zap me

back and I tell all the women about the tunnel and that fabulous light I saw,

but it wasn't my time and now I really see things differently?

Something like that.

So where's the light? Mr. Smith.

Ask him.

Who's he?

Judge Othniel.

He's come to decide your fate.

And maybe help you to see the light.

Your Honor.

Give me a second chance, please.

I led an exemplary life.

Call my accountant.

He'll show you how much I contributed to countless different charities.

Check my records. I do have receipts.

Generosity of money is all well and good, but generosity of spirit.

Now, that's an entirely different matter.

What's he talking about? He usually likes to focus on personal

What were they like, Dr. Griner?

Satisfying? Fulfilling?

Sure.

For me, they were. Where are they?

Look in the mirror, Dr. Griner.

I'm so sorry I got his appointment mixed up.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

That's the second time this week.

Third. But who's counting?

You've been so patient with me, Dr. Griner.

I'm always afraid you're about to fire me.

I really need this job.

Why would I fire you, Rita?

I like you.

A lot.

That's a perfect example, Judge.

I rest my case.

Well, if that's your case, you had better rest because you've got a long,

road ahead of you. Never good when he starts talking about heat.

Look, Your Honor, I was trying to help that girl.

I don't see how I could have shown any more compassion.

I gave her a job she had absolutely no qualifications for because she had to

take care of her ailing mother. Dr. Greiner, you have no recollection of how

all turned out? Yeah, I think she, um... It was so long ago.

She quit.

She didn't quit.

You whined her and dined her and then up and discarded her like you did all the

others. She wasn't the one. Is that a crime?

Well, it's a crime to toy with people's emotions.

particularly when you're in a position of authority, and you abused that. You

make me sound like some sort of monster. Look, I'm just a man, okay? I admit it.

Guilty as charged for the rest of my life. I didn't understand women.

I didn't know it was my job.

I think we can all hear that.

We're all men here, aren't we?

I am often amazed at the breadth and depth of what you have left to learn,

Smith. And you, Dr.

Griner, you don't understand women because you only see their appearance.

You need to see them for who they really are on the inside.

I want to, Your Honor.

I just didn't know how.

Maybe you can help me.

I believe I can.

And I will.

Dr. Greiner, you will have the second chance that you asked for. You will have

three days, and three days only.

All your memory will be intact.

No one will recognize you. You will go back and walk a mile in the shoes of a

woman. Learn to understand them.

Learn compassion and respect for them.

I will, Your Honor.

You are a free agent of the universe, though with the blessing of God Almighty

and his call. Wait, wait, wait. Whose shoes?

A mile in their shoes.

This is so funny.

We almost sent the doors out when we just met.

Dr. Griner, you can call me Sandy.

You two must be new girls from the temp agency.

Which one of you is Lorraine?

Oh, yeah.

And this is Mandy.

Mandy? I'm on your receptionist. Let's go.

What are you doing? Saving your life. What?

What? What?

Kristen? Yes, Dr. Griner? Will you please show our new bookkeeper,

her cubicle in the back?

Sure.

And their shoes are very funny.

Nice red.

I like red. Start the tour over here.

The wall of stars.

Friends of mine, all of them.

See that smile?

It's a beautiful smile.

I gave her that smile.

Expensive, too.

Let me show you around.

You see this picture?

Priceless.

Italian marble.

I had Italians put it in.

Is that a chipped tooth?

I'd better take a look at that.

Tell me.

Bendy, you like opera?

1986. Why 1986?

Think about your life.

What was important about 1986?

I don't know.

My nitrous oxide.

November 1986, that's when I started using it for recreation, getting off

You're mistreating the women around you like some misogynist pig.

No offense.

None taken. But I've got news for Oatmeal, or whatever his name is. Look,

Not prancing around here for three days in high heels and a dress. You got that?

Trust me.

It gets worse.

We've been sent back this way for a reason.

Both of us. To learn something. Learn what?

How to be cross -stretchers? No, thank you.

That's what we've got to figure out.

What kind of logic is that? Divine logic.

I can't think straight. These pantyhose are cutting off the circulation in my

brain.

Find a woman you can actually conceive of as a person.

Get to know her.

Treat her with respect and fast. I don't know any women like that. All the women

I know are... Don't return your phone calls.

How did you know?

Look, the point is there is nobody here that remotely fits that description.

Where are my keys?

her a second glance.

She's perfect.

I bet.

She's the longest relationship you ever had. I've never had a relationship. I

work with her. I don't even know her.

Then let's get him to give her a second glance.

He won't.

I know me.

She's not our type.

Well, I see a caring, compassionate person.

who's trying her hardest not to be noticed.

Hey, I found him.

I think this color would be great on you.

Don't you think so, Mandy?

Nice.

You sure you know how to do this?

Yes. You think we just woke up looking like this?

I was thinking we should find a cute outfit to go with your new look.

Something to match your eyes.

It's a pretty girl.

There's no use hiding it from the world.

Even your boss will be impressed.

Dr. Griner thinks I'm invisible.

Oh, for the love of... You told me friends.

I don't think so. Dr.

Griner doesn't have any girl friends. He just has girlfriends.

Tons of them.

You don't just feel a little sorry for him?

I don't think he's very happy.

He looks happy to me.

I don't think so.

Ready? Mm -hmm.

Okay, okay, I admit it.

I'm a shopaholic.

Why don't you ever wear any of this stuff?

I don't have any place to wear them. I get up, I go to work, I come home.

At least they were on sale.

So?

So, who doesn't love a sale?

Oh, I don't know.

A guy.

Put this on.

I just have to see this on you.

Okay, but promise not to laugh.

What do you think of this?

It's a color too brassy.

an angel on a mission, right? You're not just doing this so you can try on all

these funny little outfits, are you?

I'm doing this for you.

To mail you.

Trying to find an outfit you like so that you'll notice her.

Anyone ever tell you you look like Shirley Partridge?

Who?

Mandy.

Where are you from?

Around here, originally. I recently left town unexpectedly, but then had the

chance to come back.

Are you back for good?

Uh, I'm not sure.

But I have learned lately that you can't count on anything.

Oh, that's the truth.

I always thought I'd be married by now, starting a family.

Unfortunately, Mr. Wright hasn't come in for a root canal yet.

There's always Dr. Greiner.

Yeah. It's not like I haven't thought about it.

He'd be lucky to have me.

But let's face it.

First, you'd have to grow up.

Elegant. Zip me up.

Hey, I just thought of something.

I think that it would be a real shame to waste this whole new look on just us

girls.

I think we should go for a happy hour at Shark City.

Men have nothing better to do than to stare at my chest.

They're just big babies.

I think they find it easier to relate to that than to this.

Remember?

So, how do you like working for Dr. Greiner?

Oh, I love it. All the stars come in. I still get starstruck.

And Dr. Greiner is a really generous boss.

Seems like he's kind of a lech.

Hey.

I know he strikes some people that way, but he does a lot that people don't know

about. He's got kids that come from nothing.

Just to see him, he does all their dental work for free with no fanfare.

People, they don't know what he's like on the inside. They don't know his heart

like I do.

You really like him. Don't say anything.

Of course she likes him. He's smart, successful, and incredibly handsome. You

know he goes to women like Donald Floss. He's just scared.

He just hasn't found the right girl to fall in love with yet. But I know when

does, see that spark?

It'll completely change him.

Maybe she'll be his Carmen, or maybe it'll just be someone right under his

You know about the opera?

Girl!

Looking for trouble?

Looks like we just found it.

I hope those are virgins.

They are.

Kristen, you look different. Did you do something?

Well, if you usually just see me at work.

Right.

Catch you later.

Just go talk to him.

I can't. Look, I'm not his type.

Just be yourself.

It's not like he's going to bite or something. No, I'm not so sure.

Go for it.

Okay.

Wish me luck.

Good luck.

And show a little leg.

What's this?

Hi. Hi.

Did you do something? You look different.

Yeah, I know.

Need some company?

I don't like this.

They need to take more time and get better acquainted as friends.

Unfortunately, she's dancing with me.

And he can't respect her until she learns to respect herself.

She needs the advice of a mature woman like you.

Okay, help me out here.

Buy me some time with her.

And dance with the jerk.

I think my bra size is too small.

Kristen, it's time to go.

What? Why?

You're drooling.

Besides, Lorraine's going to take over. Aren't you, Lorraine?

Not drooling.

Yes.

Look, Kristen, men don't appreciate a woman who's too available.

Oh, I see. Men have it so easy.

You want some tea? Sure.

They just do what they want, they go after it.

You're looking out for me, Mandy.

I don't have anyone in my life to do that.

So, how about you? Do you have a special person in your life?

The man in my life died recently.

Oh, I'm sorry.

You have no idea how hard it is.

Do you want to talk about it?

Well, the truth is, he didn't treat me very well.

I couldn't trust him.

Who do you trust?

No one's ever asked me that before.

I think it's kind of important.

Didn't your mom teach you that?

I think she tried. Let me get that.

My mother was the prettiest

mom in the neighborhood.

But money was tight, so she had to work two jobs.

I'd come home every day to an empty house and wait for her.

It seemed like I was always just waiting for her to come home, and when she

finally did, she was always so tired.

I came home one day from boys' Girl Scouts, and she

had laid down to take a nap, and she

never woke up.

I never trusted anyone after that.

You can trust me.

Those belong to my great -grandmother.

They're beautiful.

She'd have to take two buses and a train to get to the Met from Hoboken.

She never missed an opening night.

Oh, it's getting late.

Oh, Mandy, don't go.

Dave. Huh?

We're going to have a slumber party.

It'll be fun.

I thought you were teaching her self -respect.

No, this is not what it looks like. We're just being gal pals.

What happened to you?

You think happened to me?

Let's put the moves on me in the cab.

You're kidding.

Did you slug him? No, I'm a lady.

He disappeared.

Mandy, who are you talking to?

It's Lorraine.

Lorraine?

You're back. We're going to have a slumber party, you think?

Oh, hi, Lisa.

Just leaving.

Just leaving.

Off to the After Hours Club so you know me.

Unstopped party machine.

Night, girls.

Good night.

Don't blow it.

Well, maybe we should turn in.

Work day tomorrow.

I'm not sure this is such a good idea. I snore and I'll probably hog the covers.

It's okay.

I'm a really heavy sleeper. I could probably sleep through a train wreck.

Like this one.

Where's the little girl's room?

That's how my grandmother took my mother to the opera.

My mother took me to the opera once.

Aida. Oh, I love that opera.

I was just a kid.

We had way in the back, but I'll never forget it.

All that passion up on the stage filled the whole place.

And my mother cried her eyes out, but she never looked happier.

My mother loved the opera.

She said it made her feel so alive.

No, you're not.

You were just looking for a cheap thrill, just like last night.

Yeah, what happened to you last night?

I must have had too much to drink. It was like you just disappeared.

I had to.

You were all over me.

Lorraine, I don't think you're cheap at all.

Yes, you do.

Isn't that why you hired me and Mandy?

And the ones that came before us and the ones that'll come after us once you've

had your fun?

Don't you get tired of being so shallow?

What makes you think you can talk to me like that?

I'm your boss.

You may pull rank, mister, but we're all just human beings here.

Aren't we all on the same team? What's your point?

This isn't going to turn into one of those nasty sexual harassments, is it?

Because I said I was sorry.

I'll keep my distance.

I can assure you.

So, those are your only two options, hmm?

Super lech or cold fish? Can't you find some middle ground?

Like what?

Oh, I don't know.

How about tweeting a woman with respect, like she's an equal?

Yeah!

Now here comes that woman's libcrap, like women won't be happy until they run

the world. I'm talking about your happiness.

Don't you ever get lonely?

Hopping from lily pad to lily pad like some horny toad?

Don't you just want to settle down? Maybe find somebody to talk to.

Or just listen.

Sure. But I'm still young. If you think time is going to change things, you're

wrong.

Before I came here, I met a dentist.

Older, but the same M .O. as you.

Anything, he's just gotten worse over the years.

And talk about lonely. Okay, just what are you proposing?

I hate that word.

Yeah.

It strikes fear in your soul because you've never gone after the type of

who deep down you knew could make you happy.

Or somebody you could even conceive of spending the rest of your life with.

To you, we're all just temps.

Everyone's a temp.

Morning. Morning.

Except for Chris.

So what are you going to do about it?

I don't know.

Take her to the opera.

All right, that's my line.

Not this time.

For real.

You look lovely.

Really?

You are beautiful just the way you are.

And if Sandy doesn't realize that, well, he doesn't deserve you.

You're so sweet.

Well, have fun, but not too much fun.

Thanks, Mom.

It's a good thing you're not attracted to her.

Vinny.

Vinny. Vinny.

Kristen.

You came.

Look.

Fantastic.

Would you like a glass of wine?

Thank you.

Cheers.

I can't take this. I'm such a wreck.

Relax. It's still early.

You're absolutely sure that they're at the opera?

Don't you trust him?

No.

No, of course not. First of all, he's a man.

And second of all, he's me.

And I'm definitely not going to leave her alone with that jerk.

But Kristen likes him.

This could be your chance out of this mess.

I don't care.

I'm not going to sacrifice Kristen to save myself.

I'm gonna stop them. If you stop this now, I have no idea what'll happen to

But I don't know what's gonna happen to her if I don't.

Ah!

So predictable!

Hang on, I'm coming.

Mandy, what are you doing here? Never mind.

I'm more concerned about what you're doing here. Candles, wine, opera.

Where is it?

Where is it?

Oh, I knew it.

Did you want some?

Oh, shut up. Where is she?

Who?

Kristen. I know she's here.

I don't know what you think is going on. Oh, save it.

I know exactly what's going on. I know you better than you know yourself.

You're jealous you want me.

Don't flatter yourself.

Mandy!

You must be crazy. You come into my home and you attack me?

I should have you arrested. I should have you arrested.

If you had a shred of decency, you'd be ashamed of yourself, but you don't. Oh,

you're so stupid.

You just blew it, and you have no idea.

I blew it. You blew it. I hope they know you're fired.

Sandy, don't fire her.

Why? She's crazy.

Lorraine's crazy, too. You're a bunch of nutcases.

Get out.

Both of you.

Oh, and congratulations.

You just got her fired, too.

I can honestly say that I hate myself.

Why did you do that? What were you thinking? You didn't have a dress on.

And you were wearing my his robe.

Wine?

on my dress.

We came back here to try and get the stain out.

Who spilled the wine on your dress?

What? I don't know. It didn't happen. It was an accident. No, no, it wasn't. He

knew exactly what he was doing. You have to believe me. I know this guy and I

know exactly what was going on here tonight because he's done it so many

before. Spilled wine on the dress. Oh, that is such a tired old gag.

You are wrong.

He wanted to stay and watch the opera. I was too embarrassed. You wanted to come

back? Yes.

He lived so close to the opera house, and after all these years of working

by side, I had never gotten to see his place.

He invited me over.

I was flattered.

Until he put the moves on you.

No, he didn't put the moves on me.

He was a perfect gentleman.

We had a great time talking, laughing. We talked about all kinds of things that

we hadn't talked about before.

Not even a kiss?

No, not even a kiss.

Well, that's wonderful.

Wonderful?

Wonderful, until he fired me.

I just wanted him to respect you in the morning.

And he would have, Mandy.

What do you think I am, some little pushover who can't take care of herself?

I'm not. I put myself through school, and I've been fine. I did it all by

without any help from you.

Feeling sorry for yourself?

I really screwed everything up.

Again.

And now Kristen won't have anything to do with me.

Well, it's probably for the best. The further away from me she gets, the

she'll be.

Will she?

Or are you just saying that because you're afraid to face the good in

Because that could lead to something a little more...

Substantial. That's right.

It's okay if you're not ready for it.

Not now or then. But don't make it like she's the one who's running away.

Take care of yourself.

Thanks. I will.

I told you you're fired. Get out. And what about Kristen?

She's the best thing that's ever happened to you and you know it. She's

So are you. You all are. Get out. Good riddance. Goodbye. She's not your mom,

Sandy.

You don't have to be angry at every woman on the earth just because she

Yes, it was awful.

Think about how hard she fought to stay with you.

How she took you to the opera.

And she...

She filled your heart with imagination and gave you a life.

Can't you be strong like that?

You know why you treat women the way you do?

Because it's easier on you.

Stop being such a coward and grow up.

Look.

Oh, you snooped me out.

But you better leave now or I'll call the cops.

Oh! Oh, my tooth!

I think I chewed my tooth!

All right, sit down with me.

Let me take a look at it.

You!

Ms. Christman?

Kristen, we have an emergency here.

Well, this is ironic.

Prey doesn't put them all out.

I'm sorry about last night.

I was just so worried about you.

You didn't have to be. Nothing would have happened. Yes, something magical

have happened because... I'm falling in love with you.

And when I came here this morning and you were leaving, I couldn't imagine

office without you.

I couldn't imagine my life without you.

I gotta take a chance in life sometime.

You're that chance, Kristen.

I'm back.

Doing improved.

And looking rather dapper, I might add.

What happened? I'd given up.

As long as you were trying to save yourself, you couldn't.

But as soon as you did it for Kristen, that was different.

You were willing to sacrifice yourself for her, and that was an act of love you

didn't even know you had in you.

It takes a big man to love somebody that much.

They played this piece at your wedding.

What else is different?

You two kids.

Matt and Logan.

I have kids.

You're right, honey. We can't keep it a secret, do we?

Once I'm gone, you won't remember any of this.

Which is kind of a shame because I think you should keep in mind what you look

like in high heels and pantyhose.

How could I ever thank you?

By having a wonderful life.

Love is the only thing that can wound us so badly that we're afraid to ever love

again.

Yet it's the only thing that can heal us as well.

What is it about men and women that makes love so hard?

I mean, in the opera they seem to work it out.

It's the only place on earth where a guy can fall madly in love, have his heart

broken, get stabbed, and instead of dying, he sings.

Or maybe that's it, huh?

Keep on singing and hopefully along the way, learn how to carry the tune.

That's not funny.

I know what it's like to walk a mile in a woman's shoes.

And my feet are killing me.

Change! Change!

Change! Change!

Change!