Original subtitles

Good evening.

I've gone into a new business.

It is the manufacture and sale of ticker tape for parades.

Our motto is, we can make any street Wall Street.

A secondary purpose of this paraphernalia is to get our audience in

mood for tonight's play, the 12 -hour caper.

The preceding information has been obtained from sources believed to be

reliable.

but its accuracy and completeness, and that of the opinions based thereon, are

not guaranteed.

This is in sharp contrast to the information you are about to receive.

Yes, right away.

Miss Palfred? Yes? Good morning, beautiful. Shut up. What is it, Herbert?

That was security downstairs.

8 .45 Friday. Time to test the alarm.

How's your mother, Herb?

Well, fine, thank you.

Give her my best. I will.

Hands off. You love it. Want to bet?

Enemy bombers.

Let's live our last moments together. It's bigger than both of us. Let me go.

Never.

Mr. Tupper, good morning.

Good morning, Mr. Tupper.

Princeton gets out of hand every Friday.

Mr. Lowe has a multitude of auxiliary talents.

None of which is useful in the investment business.

I suppose so, sir.

William, how's your mother feeling?

Just fine, thank you, sir. Good. Did Finity and Company call about that bond

shipment today?

No, sir, not since last night.

Well, as far as I know, it gets here around four.

Four o 'clock on a Friday.

Can you think of a more awkward time to take delivery on $565 ,000 worth of

negotiable bonds?

Offhand, no, sir.

I have to put them in the downstairs vault over the weekend.

Yes, sir.

It's just like money, you know.

Just like over half a million dollars in cash.

Makes a man think, Wiggum.

Yes, sir, I've thought about it quite a great deal.

Oh, good. Good boy.

Keep thinking, Wiggum.

There's no limit to where you can go in this business.

No limit.

Miss Pompers, dear, would you get me Fennedy and the company on the phone? I

want to see what's going on.

The vets on top are calling Mr. Fennedy.

Hello, Mr. Kennedy, Mr. Tupper calling.

You pull that one more time, just one more time, and I'll kill you, literally.

Give you three to one, he lowers the boom today.

Hmm?

Tupper.

What about Tupper?

The promotion, son.

Question of who gets my job.

Oh.

He'll give you the bad news today.

He never was one to put off an unhappy duty over the weekend.

Get in the way of his golf game.

Morning. Good morning, Bob.

Good Friday.

Well, how goes it, Herbie?

What's on the books for the weekend?

gonna break out of the old shell.

Herbert, you dog.

You've been keeping secrets from us.

Mama going too?

Oh, just kidding, Herbie.

Just kidding.

Wake up.

Yes, sir. Would you come here a moment, please?

Well, I just talked to Finity about postponing the delivery of those bonds

Monday.

Oh. He agreed with me 100%. No sense whatsoever in delivering a shipment like

that after banking hours. No sense at all.

If the bonding company knew about it, they would hit the ceiling. So?

So you're putting it off till Monday?

No.

No.

We're taking a chance anyway. There's no alternative.

So you prepare to handle it in the usual way.

Issue memo receipts and so forth.

And we'll put them in the night vault over the weekend.

Yes, sir.

Oh, Wiggum.

Yes, sir?

One more thing.

Sit down.

I don't believe we've discussed the matter of who's to step into Frisbee's

as head cashier when he retires next month, have we?

No, I don't believe we have, sir. I know you'll agree with my decision.

We've been teammates for a long time, you and I, Wiggum, together on the

line. Why, ten years ago, when you came to us... Eleven, sir.

What's that? Eleven years ago, sir.

Oh, yes.

Eleven years ago, I told you that I'd look out for you.

And I still have the same feeling.

You're going places with Tupper and Sons, Wiggum.

I know you'll understand that I had your interest in mind when I decided to move

Westbrook into Frisbee's spot in college graduate business administration

school. The fellow has a lot going for him. Oh, yes, sir. But I still have my

eye on you, Wiggum. Don't you forget that.

Yes, sir.

And rest assured to this, Wiggum, the fact that Westbrook happened to be my

wife's favorite nephew had absolutely nothing to do with my decision.

I understand, sir. Good boy.

All right, that's all, Wiggum. Thank you, sir.

Wiggum, are you ready for those bonds?

I certainly am, sir.

Good thinking.

Did he?

He did.

About time for coffee, isn't it, gentlemen?

How about it, Herbie?

I'll buy you a cup.

No, thank you, Westbrook.

You mind if I borrow this?

Please, take it.

How did he phrase it?

He said he had his eye on me, that I'm going places.

Oh, you know who this is?

Mm -hmm.

See you at lunch?

Same time, same place.

Mm -hmm.

We're now looking at Tupper and Sons at ten minutes to four on almost any Friday

morning.

It's the main door.

Here.

Men's. Ladies' washrooms. Here.

Frisbee's desk.

Here.

My desk.

Here.

It's Pomfret. Here.

Westbrook.

Crenshaw.

Mr. Tupper, of course, will be here in his office.

And most important, gentlemen, the fire stairway door.

Right here.

Now, photograph this plant in your mind, gentlemen.

You'll only have one minute to look at it, and you must know it's letter

perfect.

Have a deviled egg.

At four, Westbrook will be gone.

He hasn't stayed until four in the two years that he's been with us.

And by long tradition, exactly at four o 'clock, Frisbee will leave.

Followed by Crenshaw and Lowe.

That leaves Miss Pomfret.

The bondsman arrived by armored car and messenger.

At five minutes after four,

The messenger will have his receipt and be gone.

Now, as you can plainly see, the deciding factor in our plan is the

Miss Pomfret.

Here. Now, she must not be present when you gentlemen come through the fire

stairway door.

There's only one moment when Miss Pomfret is not present.

At exactly ten minutes to five, she will rise from her desk and take the day's

correspondence into Mr. Tupper's office.

She leaves Mr. Tupper's office and vanishes into the ladies' washroom to

put on her street makeup.

Our average time in there for the past seven weeks has been approximately...

exactly.

Three minutes and 41 seconds.

Now, that would seem safe enough, but we can't be too sure.

Miss Pomfret, being a very young woman, is subject to Caprice.

She comes out and hits that alarm, the building slams shut like a nervous

oyster. We also got the bomb.

What if they search us?

No, no, no.

You won't have the bomb.

What do you mean we won't?

You leave Tupper's office here.

Miss Pomfret's desk.

Here, Miss Pomfret's wastebasket.

I'll put some papers on top of her desk. You drop the bombs into the wastebasket

and sweep the papers off on top of them.

Then you exit via the fire stairway door. Take off your mask, go downstairs,

grab an elevator, and down you go. The alarm goes off.

You've nothing to hide.

What about the bombs? Well, they will question me, of course, but I have been

trusted employee for over 11 years, and I've handled much bigger shipments than

this.

So after they've gone...

I'll take the bonds out of the wastebasket, slip them into my attaché

leave.

We'll meet, as planned, to divide the spoils.

That should bring $188 ,333 .33.

A piece.

Shall we synchronize our watches, gentlemen?

Have a nice weekend, Herb. Well, thanks, Charles.

Say hello to your mother for me, will you? I will.

Now, you know this is bigger than both of us. Why fight? Blow.

Oh, gorgeous. Listen to my song.

I tuned you out about ten past nine. Get lost.

You know you're driving me into the arms of another?

Good night, sweet friend.

You have that report ready for me?

Thank you.

Wiggum, what's holding up that bond shipment?

I don't know, sir. They're 12 and a half minutes late already.

Well, call Fennedy. Tell him we can't handle it at this hour. But, sir, I've

already... It makes no difference.

I'm a reasonable man, but taking on over half a million dollars in negotiable

bonds at this hour on a Friday is idiotic, and I'm... You from Fennedy and

Company? Right.

All right, get on it, Wiggum.

What am I doing that's wrong?

Nothing.

Thank you

Yes, that's right. If Kennedy handled the liquidation, I have all the

information right here.

Yes, George, it's going to be up to us to place the whole half million in tax

-free municipalities.

Yeah. Well, let me tell you something, George. This is going...

Gently, Webster, gently.

And that was what time, Mr. Wiggum?

I'd say about ten minutes apart. Mr. Wiggum had just brought the bonds into

office. Yes, first I had to enter the... In the

what?

I beg your pardon?

You were entering the bonds in something.

Yes, in the ledger.

It's routine when we receive securities, you see.

I see. So then you took the bonds into Mr. Tupper's office and stood waiting

him to finish on the phone.

I was talking to my associate about the deal, you see.

These securities came to us as a result of an estate liquidation.

And a principal beneficiary happened to be one of our clients.

I tried to get Kennedy to call off the shipment as a matter of prudence.

But...

I'm sorry. Here, let me... Oh, no, no, no, no. Allow me. Don't let me in. Go

ahead. Well, then, Miss Plumfret, were you close enough, close range to see

either of the men?

Not very.

Couldn't identify them? No, they both wore masks.

And by the time you could get a look at them, they'd both gone out the fire exit

door? I thought something was wrong, and then I came closer, and I saw them both

on the floor. I screamed and hit the alarm switch.

Oh. I've checked on everyone in the building. There's no one in here without

good reason, and there's no sign of the bonds either.

Okay, go on down to the main door. I'll be with you in a minute. All right.

Now, Mr. Wiggum, I wonder if you'd mind coming into Mr. Tupper's office for a

moment. You too, Mr. Tupper.

I'd like you both to assume the exact positions you were in after the robbery.

was standing over here by my desk.

I was on the telephone with my associate, and you, Wiggum? Here, sir.

Would you both lie down, please?

After you, Wiggum.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you.

Herbert was a little more to his right, I think.

Thank you, Miss Poverett.

Now, Mr.

Tupper, as far as you can recall, you were facing the way you are now.

On the telephone, that is correct.

I knew not whence the blow came, Lieutenant.

One moment I am deep in conversation with my associate, and the next

Yes, yes, of course.

And when you came to, you found Mr. Wiggum lying there beside you.

That is right.

All right. Thank you very much, gentlemen.

Gentlemen, you can get up now.

Oh.

And this is merely a preliminary investigation.

Oh, yes, I do, Lieutenant.

These were negotiable.

That's very good, Mr. Tupper.

Now, Wiggum was on the floor there in roughly that position when you came in,

Mr. Conklin.

And the minute you saw what had happened... Steven hit the alarm switch.

But by then, both of the thugs were probably outside the office and on their

downstairs.

It's hardly likely they'd try the elevator, but it's possible they could

taken the back stairway.

That is correct.

But in either case, they'd have been stopped and checked for the man on duty

the main door if they attempted to leave the building with the securities.

That is right.

So we'll have to assume that they spirited the securities out of the

some other way.

Nice time of year to be going to Rio, Mr. Wiggum. I envy you.

I'm looking forward to it. There you are, sir. Loading right now at gate six.

Have a nice flight. Thank you. Happy landing.

Thank you.

Ready, mother?

Yes, dear.

Here are the closing stock averages.

30 industrials down 3 .7.

15 utilities up 1 .6.

We shall have more closing quotations in one minute.

There has been a change in our business. I've eliminated the middleman.

As for our final quotations...

They were from Herbert Wiggum and his mother as they left for prison, and we

decided not to repeat them on the air.

Next week, we shall be back with another story. Until then, good night.

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