Original subtitles

Uh, well, here is a partial list of all the items destroyed in the fire.

As you can see, the garage is almost a total loss.

Although it does free up the weekend I set aside to organize it.

Yeah.

Uh, you see, my nephew CJ was deep frying a turkey.

Excuse me, am I keeping you?

You are the insurance adjuster. This is your job, isn't it? I'm sorry.

It's the day after Thanksgiving. I got a turkey sandwich waiting at home with my

name on it.

Well, I have leftovers here.

I'm sure they're not as good as the ones that you want. All right, you twisted

my arm.

Bridget, CJ, this is Frank, the insurance adjuster.

He's here to help us file our claim for the fire.

Oh, Mom, don't forget to tell him about my new car that was in the garage.

Oh, yeah, and I had 10 ,000 cash in the glove compartment.

So I understand you were deep -frying the turkey and the oil caught fire?

Sir, that is a lie, and I will not... I don't stand here for that kind of

character assassination.

I'm a man of dignity.

I already told him that the turkey fryer exploded.

Oh.

Well, yeah.

Okay, let me just put this in the micro for 30 seconds.

So, do we have any idea what caused the turkey fryer to explode?

Ah, let me think.

You know, I keep going over yesterday in my head.

Oops. Oh, I'm sorry.

Mom, move.

Are you sure there's nothing I can do?

No, the whole point was to keep things getting off. Your job is to relax and do

nothing. Which, by the way, is harder than it looks.

No one puts in the hours like you do.

You're in my work area.

All right, fine.

If anybody wants me, I'll just be relaxing in the living room.

Ah, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Not in the living room. That's where I'm going to deep fry the turkey.

In the living room? That's right. Everybody, listen up.

If anyone bumps this fryer and oil spills in the propane flame, ooh,

going to be an explosion so big even Grandpa might hear it.

So I can't let anyone in here for something this dangerous. Every possible

precaution has to be taken.

Wouldn't it be safer to do it outside?

Dude, are you high? It's freezing out there.

I said it's freezing out there.

You guys having fun?

Oh, come on. Grab that. Oh, that's supposed to be our best receiver shoot.

couldn't catch a disease in a horribly cold place.

Excuse me.

This was left within my TFSP turkey fryer safety perimeter.

Anything left inside must be either removed or DF'd.

Deep fried. Stay close, people.

What happened to the new football I gave you? Principal Gibb confiscated it. Oh,

Gibb.

What'd you do?

Nothing. Well, you must have done something.

Oh, sure. Stick up for your boyfriend.

He's not my boyfriend.

Fine. Man toy.

I'm not dating Ed Gibb. Or making him my man toy.

What happened with Gibb?

Huh? He seems like a cool guy.

Well, you... He's a cool guy. I mean, he's actually a great guy.

It's just, he's, I don't know, he's too... Mean.

Wimpy. Goofy.

Annoying. Impotent.

DJ, you said you liked him. I did. I just jumped in. Looked like fun.

Fourth of two, they're going to go for it.

Come on, Lions.

Come on, come on.

You really think it's going to help your team by fondling your hat like that?

Tapping. I only fondle during overtime.

The picture went out.

Hey,

maybe you should final the TV.

Final the TV? This isn't baseball season.

Okay, after the apples, we add a something of butter.

A stitch?

God, Grandma's handwriting is so bad. Wait, wait. A stink. Yes, a stink of

butter. What? No, it says a stick of butter.

Oh. Nope. Pretty sure it says stink. Nope.

It says stick. Now just go take it out. Sounds like you're the one who needs to

take out the stick.

You know what? Let's each just make our own pies, okay?

Fine by me. Fine. Give me that. What? You don't need it. You can't even read.

Well, you can't reach.

What?

Are you girls spying? No, we're fine. I'm just training her, Mom. Jump,

jump.

We're fine, Mom. Everything is completely under control.

The fryer.

Boss alive.

that I can do.

Okay, fine. We need something from the store. We do?

Yes, we do. We do. We need, um, the... Is that a G?

N. Vanilla.

Not even going to tell you what I thought that said.

Ed?

Kate! Hi!

Hi! Happy Thanksgiving!

You too.

What are you doing here?

Well, my kids are at home making the whole dinner. They just made up some

to get me out of the house.

I just love this holiday.

What's your family doing?

Well, my kids are skiing in Vail with my ex and their new stepfather, Mark.

Mark with a C.

Mark, I cater.

But it's good. It's very good.

Well, it's not that good, but it's pretty good.

You know, if you're alone, why don't you come to my house for dinner? Oh, no,

no, no. I wouldn't want to impose.

Oh, come on. It's no trouble. Just follow me. I'm in the blue minivan.

Oh, that's really sweet, Kate, but I'm fine. You know, one of the benefits of

being single again is that I've become extremely handy in the kitchen.

I intend to make myself quite the Thanksgiving feast.

Are these your turkey dogs?

But they're not eating like this in bail.

Blue minivan.

I'll be right behind you.

Hey, wait, wait, wait.

You know, it was lovely of you to invite me to dinner, but are you sure this is

a good idea? I mean, I am your kid's high school principal.

Well, that doesn't mean they don't like you.

And your father did punch me in the nose.

Well, that doesn't mean he doesn't like you.

Oh, look, Ed, we both know that that was a misunderstanding.

Oh, come on. You're welcome in my home. I'm sure my family feels the same way.

Hi, everybody.

Look who I brought home for Thanksgiving.

Hi!

Oh, and I thought this was going to be awkward.

Ed, why don't you go to the restroom? It's right over there. But I don't have

to... It's right over there.

This is not the way we treat guests in this house.

Mom, you were supposed to pick up vanilla.

You don't get much more vanilla than Ed gives.

You know what, Mom? We're really sorry we brought our principal back to the

house. Get used to it. He's our man toy now.

All right, I've had it. We're just friends.

All right, now look. He's here because he had nowhere else to go.

So when he comes out, I want everyone to say something nice.

They, you know, seem to have healed up nicely.

Uh, Principal Gibb. Welcome.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Yeah, I got a wing with your name on it, buddy. It'll get carried away.

Rory?

Nice day for football.

Look, I'm sorry. He's still upset that you took away his football.

Okay, he drop -picked it across the cafeteria and into a vat of chocolate

pudding.

I'll go talk to him.

So, um, need any help there?

Are you some kind of engineer?

No, I just... So what, then?

You think I need help because I'm old?

No, I really... Well, let me tell you something, college boy.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

If you hit me again, I am not coming for Christmas.

DJ, throw the ball for five minutes.

Do I look like I have time for tomfoolery?

Dad, you sure I can't get you something?

Oh, no, no, I'm fine. I'm just watching the game.

You're watching a broken TV.

I'm a Lions fan. It's less painful this way.

Actually, I'm just sitting here thinking about all the things I'm grateful for

this holiday.

My kids.

My job, my health, and you, Kate.

Me?

Why me?

You've been a good friend. You take me into your home. You show me warmth and

hospitality. Out of my chair.

Yes, sir.

Ew, your filling sucks.

Yours smells like wet dog.

Is there a problem?

Yes, there is one crust and there are two fillings. And the pie crust is going

to be mine.

No, the pie crust is mine.

I am now refereeing a pie fight.

I feel like the mother of Amish teens.

I'm okay.

Dad, maybe you want to unplug that first?

Oh, relax, Kate. These little zaps make me feel alive.

Oh, fireflies.

I'm going to go keep an eye on him.

Principal Gibb, we need your help. Yeah, you can decide whose filling goes in

the crust.

Me? Please, someone has to decide.

Well... Okay, great. So close your eyes.

Close them so you don't know who's filling your tasting. Okay, what am I

here? Cherry?

Cranberry apple.

Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm probably not the right person for this. Oh, come on.

Please, it'll be really helping us out. We're just trying to make the right pie

for our mom.

All right, okay.

Let's do this.

Open wide.

Okay, great. Now try the good one. Mine. I mean the other one. Not that mine's

the other one. I mean, I kind of...

Mom, what's wrong?

Sometimes cranberries and I don't agree.

Are you allergic to cranberries?

Ish. I'm allergic -ish.

I'll be okay. I need to sit down and just get my adrenaline shot.

Didn't you get back out there with the fryer?

Yeah. His head's all normal again. I'm out of here.

Um, excuse me, you didn't bring another adrenaline shot, did you? Because you

still didn't try my cranberry filling.

Nobody is having cranberry filling.

You and your sister go out to the garage, get a couple of frozen pies.

And, Ed, why would you eat cranberries if you knew you were allergic?

Well, the reaction is usually much milder than that, and the girls really

to make you a great pie, and I wanted to help.

That is so sweet and so thoughtful.

That was the least I could do.

And really, really dumb.

You know, I am your boss.

So sweet, so thoughtful.

What are you doing?

The ball just rolled in.

Are you kidding? This thing's like a torpedo heading at that fryer.

I never believed what we saw between Mom and Gib. So sweet, so thoughtful. You

saved my life. Kiss me.

And then they were all giggly and acting like a couple.

Yeah, so what?

So, he's a Durwood. It's wrong on a million different levels. Look, there

two main problems with Principal Gib. One, he's our principal, and two, he's

Gib.

I suppose that's a good reason not to like him.

I was just thinking how that Durwood seems to make your mom happy.

Principal Gabe is going to live and stuff.

Can you play the ball with me?

Uh, not now, honey.

Great. I can't play football. I can't watch football.

Thanksgiving totally blows.

Stop!

Now that one, that was a strong one.

All right, Dad, that's it. Away from the television. You don't know what you're

doing. With 22 seconds to go.

Not too bad for a guy who doesn't know what he's doing.

22 seconds, and they're down by four? Oh, my God.

And it all comes down to the final play.

Lions working from the Colts.

What are you doing? It's a ritual. I have to hop, or there's no way to...

it off. It's the dumbest thing I've ever seen.

Like, fondling your hat is going to help? It's tapping.

Lions working from the Colts, 35.

Harrington takes the snap. He's in the pocket. No one's open. He lost to Hal

Berry.

Touchdown!

Yeah.

Topping, huh?

Topping? Yeah, that seems to work. What are you doing next Sunday?

Come on, Rory, let's throw that thing around.

I don't know. Come on, come on, come on. You know, I played football in high

school.

How can I say no to that?

See that?

Grandpa's getting along with Ed.

I know, weird. Maybe those zaps just shocked the grumpy out of him.

Principal Gibb, we wouldn't be completely nauseated and freaked out if

wanted to date him.

So sweet.

And very beautifully put.

However... Look, Mom. All we're saying is we like that he makes you smile.

You like what you see out there?

Oh, now you're going to tell me that I like him, too?

He did eat the pie of death for you.

Nice kind of drawing.

He's not a bad guy, that Gib.

Dad?

What happened to Gib?

Dad, where's your dad?

How's he hug?

Not bad.

Go wash up. Dinner's ready.

Thanks for playing.

Sure, anytime.

You don't have to do that anymore.

You know, not many people could survive being thrown into the middle of this

madhouse. Not at all. You have a very sweet family when they're not poisoning

punching me.

You've been so kind and helpful lately, and I realize that I've been putting up

the wall, and I'm not really a...

A wall kind of person.

I've been wanting to say something.

And it's just so kind of hard to say.

Well, why don't you just say it?

I... I'm really glad you're here.

That was the hard part?

Why don't we just go inside?

Okay.

Do you want to have dinner?

I thought that's what we were about to... No, with me. A date.

Wow.

Kate, I've wanted to go out with you forever.

Yeah, the timing just wasn't quite right, but now I... Well, I'm kind of

someone now.

Oh, good.

That's good.

Not really good, but pretty good.

For the longest time, you didn't seem interested.

Well, you know, there was that timing thing.

And, you know, I'm sorry.

I didn't realize you had a girlfriend.

Ish. She's girlfriend -ish.

You don't have to explain.

Should I go?

Oh, no.

No. This isn't awkward?

No, no.

Well, okay, it's awkward -ish.

But please, Ed, I want you to stay.

Just go on inside. I'll be in in a minute.

I think you're just great, Kate.

And if it would make things any easier, I could eat some more cranberries.

No, really, I'm fine.

really does blow.

So that's all you can think of to be thankful for, that you got the good

No, I said it's what I'm most thankful for.

And how about you, Kate?

What are you thankful for?

Well, I'm thankful for my wonderful children and for my great dad and my

even though she couldn't be here.

That's what I'm thankful for.

And you, Rick?

Oh, well, I'm thankful for...

Great friends.

Yeah.

Great friends.

Blah, blah, blah. Thanksgiving.

Let's eat.

No, no, no. Wait.

Finally, I am thankful to all of you, especially CJ, for doing all this work.

that for once, I don't have to do anything.

I'm going to go check on a thing.

Miss Hennessy?

Miss Hennessy?

Oh.

You know, it's frustrating. I still can't figure what made that fryer blow

Good enough for me.

I'll send you a check in a few days.

Oh, hey, don't forget about my Ferrari. Total loss.

Don't you want the turkey?

Really? Great, thanks.

I'll send you back to play.

I guess we'll never know what happened.

My guess?

He started eating as a small child and never stopped.

I meant, we'll never know why the turkey fryer exploded.

That, too.

I think you're... You're just great, Kate.

And if it would make things any easier, I could eat some more cranberries.

No, really, I'm fine.