Original subtitles

Hey, Bear, how was school today?

Well, remember that art program in Europe this summer? Uh -huh.

Guess you got in.

You? Mm -hmm. And guess you can't go, because her mom forgot to turn in her

medical records, even though she works at the very hospital where I was born!

Okay, look, I'm really, really sorry. We'll go down, we'll talk to the

principal, we'll get it all sorted out, okay?

Now give me a hug. Oh, okay.

I don't think I could spend an entire summer in Europe.

I'd miss my family too much.

And Rory, of course.

He got it bad.

Yeah, it is a long time to be away from my family. And Kyle, of course.

Don't anyone go in there for an hour.

But I'll cope.

Oh, what? Talking about Europe again?

You know, there are plenty of things that you can get excited about right in

your backyard.

There's two squirrels honeymooning on the clothesline.

See? Right in your backyard.

Ah, you got me.

The mystery of attraction.

What did he see in her, anyway?

She's probably one sexy squirrel.

He met Kyle and Carrie.

No, I didn't.

Anyway, they say that opposites attract.

Well, if that's true, I should be with someone pretty, tall, and hates the cool

music I like.

Missy sister.

Sissy.

CJ, do you like Aerosmith?

Not particularly.

Please come in.

Hi, Sissy.

Hey, Missy. Whatcha doing?

Keeping busy.

That's our little routine. It's excellent.

I love you. I mean, yeah, I love your laugh. It's nice.

You know, I did not know that... Missy had a sister sissy.

That's funny. You know the C in CJ stands for Cory.

No, it doesn't. Hey, Rory, what you doing? It's your cousin, Cory.

Watching you make an ass out of yourself.

Hey, Rory, great news.

You bought that cane with a sword in it?

I wish.

The Sergio Leone Film Festival begins tonight at the mall.

Hours of Clint Eastwood smoking a cigar, wearing a poncho.

Do you want to go?

You're not going to wear the poncho tonight, are you?

I might.

Enjoy the show.

Well, shoot.

I wish I had somebody to go with me.

You haven't made any friends out here.

That's because everybody's an idiot.

Well, humor me. I got this address for you.

You're kicking me out?

I'll make a friend.

Ah, the VFW? Oh, no way.

I'm not going to be one of those sad old soldiers stuck in the past, reminiscing

endlessly. But, Dad, you could tell them how you drove Ted Williams around

Korea.

That could cheer them up.

Now look, honey, Mr. Gibb can kind of be a tough nut to crack, so when I signal

you, give him the Carrie face.

Excuse me?

Well, you know, sad, pouty, kind of teary -eyed. The Carrie face.

You have a name for it?

Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I am that good.

Back again.

Next time's free.

be with you in a minute.

Kyle, what are you doing here?

Well, Carrie, they've tested me and apparently I'm a genius.

Carol, you gave me the wrong file. I meant Kyle Anderson.

Where did that come from?

So, um, have you found out anything about your art trip yet?

No, we just got here.

Well, I have mixed feelings about you going to France. They didn't support us

the war, but I really want a present.

I can see your conundrum.

It's been in my wallet for three years. I swear I've never used it, Mrs.

Hampton.

And he thought he was a genius. Kyle!

Oh, my God, Mom!

Mom, did you eat that poor lab frog?

Mrs. Hennessey, you and your daughter can go in now.

Okay, well, say hi to your mom and...

Good luck with that whole not my cup of pee thing.

Grab your bag.

Hi, Ed. Hi. Thanks for seeing me. Ed.

Look, this is all my fault. Carrie's medical records, I just forgot.

Well, it's understandable, Kate. You seem to forget a lot of things.

Kate? Medical records, deadlines,

cool guys you may have known in high school.

for a favor.

Oh yeah, right.

Please, please, Mr. Gibb, don't punish Carrie for my mistakes.

Not now.

Carrie missed the deadline for the art trip. If I make an exception for her, I

have to make an exception for the other two kids who like art.

Come on, please.

Carrie's been wanting to go to Europe since she was a little girl.

Carrie face. I've been expecting you.

But rules are... Rules are meant to be broken.

Get her out of here. Get the forms in.

Hey, Dad.

How was the VFW?

Oh, my God. You bought a car?

Very rich, sweetie.

Duh.

I took your advice, and I went to the Veterans Hall, and guess what?

What? I had an accident.

What? Yeah, yeah. It's going to cost a fortune.

Well, I'm missing something. You had an accident, and yet you're smiling?

Yeah, well, you see, I had this little fender bender with... Hi.

...her.

Hi. Hey, you remember Tina? She's the one who owns the bar where you did the

singing? Oh, yeah. Hi. Nice to see you.

Hey, Jimbo.

You forgot your sunglasses in my car.

She calls me Jimbo.

Jimbo? Yeah. Are you working for the circus now?

Tina, you could have just given them to me tonight.

Oh, all right.

What was I thinking?

A date?

You have a date?

Okay, you're the one who wanted me to make a new friend.

And woo -wee, did I.

Hey,

Grandpa, what's up?

Blood pressure and bad cholesterol.

Oh, your mom wanted me to give you these towels.

Hey, Cure Bear, what's wrong, sweetie?

Grandpa.

I have a chance to go to Europe.

Something I've always wanted to do. And I'm really excited, but... Don't tell

Bridget this.

I'm also a little scared.

Hey, that's normal.

The first time I took a trip without my parents, I was scared.

Where did you go?

Korean War.

I'd button the shirt.

Ah, gotcha.

Oh, and you might want to zip up the fly.

Check.

And, Dad, lose the slippers.

Damn it.

I'm not sure I'm ready to date.

Sure you are, Dad.

Where are you going?

I'm going to take Tina to dinner and a movie. What kind of food goes good with

Western? Ciao.

I must be excited about your date.

Oh, it shows, huh? Yeah, you trimmed your ear hair.

At least someone noticed.

Dad, if you really want good chow, there's this great French restaurant

Paul and I used to go to. A French restaurant?

Wow. I haven't seen Grandpa eat a snail since my eighth birthday.

When he fell asleep on a lawn chair and I dropped him in his mouth and took a

picture.

What? It was my birthday.

I was just over at Missy's.

Missy liked you.

Oh, come on.

A girl like that could never like a guy like me.

Come on, dude.

That's your cue radar to say, no, no, no, she thinks you're awesome.

No, no, no, she thinks you're awesome.

I knew it.

She wants us all to go out to dinner together.

Hmm.

Well, why don't I need you?

The Rory -Cory -whatcha -doin' bit?

That was gold.

Yeah. All right, great, let's do it.

I would, but...

I don't have any money, man.

Here's an idea. Don't eat.

I'm a lot better when I'm not hungry.

Fine. All right. But you have to laugh at everything I say. All right.

Let's hear it.

That would get you, like, breadsticks.

There you go. That would get you salad.

figure out if I needed a good laugh.

So, tell me about Jim.

Well, I was born on a ranch near Tulsa, Oklahoma. I learned to ride and shoot

before I could crawl.

You must have been a very dangerous baby.

So they tell me.

So where are you now?

Having dinner with a beautiful woman.

Ah, flattery's gonna get you everywhere.

So you're widowed?

Yeah.

Actually, three times.

All named Jim.

All died mysteriously.

God,

you're easy.

Hey, this is nice.

You and me.

Grampy! What are you doing here? You know this isn't home.

Go away.

Hey, Grandpa.

Ah, Rory.

Tina, this is Rory, Missy, and Sissy.

Hi.

Oh, what's good here?

Um, I'm looking at the shrimp.

Yeah, so am I.

Relax.

Rory, I'm getting this weird vibe from your cousin.

Oh?

Rory, you did tell him that Sissy is getting engaged, right?

Oh, yeah. He says congratulations.

Here, the breadsticks are good.

Practically a meal.

Some people eat the breadsticks and go home.

Do they have lobster?

Yeah, it's called soup du jour. Grandpa, this is creepy. Help. No.

You know, it's tough, but they have to learn to survive on their own two feet.

Yeah, well, it isn't like you haven't done enough, letting your daughter and

whole family move into your house with you.

Well, a funny story about that.

A moment, a moment.

I'll pay for Rory and Missy, but that's it.

Fine. I have a credit card.

Well, just make sure they'll take gas credit cards.

Wait, why wouldn't they?

Um, excusez -moi, mon chéri.

I think it's going well.

Wait till I say something funny. That may never happen.

You're stupid.

Did Mom buy yogurt?

Hi, Misty. Roy, Sissy's totally into CJ.

She is? Is she nuts?

She broke off her engagement.

I was going to be a bridesmaid and try champagne when no one was looking, but

thanks to your little plan, you've ruined Sissy's whole life.

We did have lobster.

Yeah.

Dad, I need the phone.

Well, that was so funny when you said that. Yeah.

No, no. You shut up.

No, you shut up. No, you shut up.

Hey, all right. I'll see you tomorrow after work, huh?

All right. Bye, Tina.

No, you hang up.

like a teenager.

It was none of your beeswax.

You know, you've been seeing an awful lot of this, Tina. So what's it to you?

Don't you get smart with me.

I am your daughter, and I think you're too old to be going steady.

You're not the boss of me.

Now, look, Dad, I know nothing about her. I mean, where did she come from?

she ever been married before?

Dead. And it's just that after meeting you, I realized that I didn't love Tim.

And it didn't matter that he had money or two homes or that he was a doctor.

I had to tell him that I didn't love him.

Did he cry?

Like a baby.

That's excellent. I win.

See, you're everything I never wanted in a man.

And more.

What you doing?

I'm sorry, what did you say?

It's the bottom game, you know? I say, what you doing? And you say, keeping

busy.

Are you serious?

Were you, like, in a car accident I should know about?

Trying to get out of this death grip you have me in?

Say it.

Keepin' busy.

Sing it.

Keepin' busy.

So how'd it go with 50 last night? Keepin' busy.

Oh, dude, she's not with you, is she?

Rory, did you get the newspaper?

No. Honey, go get it, because your grandfather will want to read it when he

wakes up.

Grandpa?

Good morning.

Dad, were you out all night?

Let me handle this one.

Let me see.

Yesterday's outfit.

Unshaven.

Ooh, a little Chanel No.

5.

Yes, sir. Somebody had an away game last night.

An away game?

Dad,

what were you doing with Tina last night?

Keeping busy.

Come on.

Had dinner at her place. It got late.

So I just spent the night.

High five, Glenn, Daddy.

Did somebody have school?

My tummy hurts.

Oh, him. Yeah, go to school.

All right.

Out, both of you.

Dad, I wanted you to have some companionship. But are you having a

with this woman?

Well, I'm enjoying myself. I like Tina.

I'm not sure it's a relationship.

Yet.

Yet?

But I always thought, well, you know, I'd hope that you and Mom would both

acting crazy and get back together. She left me.

Can I help it if I'm coping so damn well?

So you're just going to play around and live under my roof?

You know, this arrangement was not supposed to last forever.

Katie, I thought you'd be happy for me.

I'm a man who thought he was done, and now I feel like I'm living again.

I can't believe you prefer living to mom.

It's scary, isn't it?

Moving on.

But let me ask you a question.

Did you think that this arrangement, your dad being the only man in your

was going to last forever?

Can't have this conversation now. I have to go to work.

And you're wrong, Dad. I know that you still love Mom.

And you don't just move on when you still love someone.

Carrie? Excuse me. Carrie, what are you doing?

Well, I'm leaning in.

In my skirt?

Which, by the way, you can't pull off.

Bridget, why don't you just get out of here? You don't care about anything.

Well, I know that you care about your Europe trip. If Mr. Gap finds out you

this, he's never going to let you go.

Oh, my God, I never thought about that.

Bridget, mind your own business.

Frogs are people, too, you know.

Well, they sort of are when you put little hats and vests on them and tape

little canes to their hands.

Sometimes... Sometimes you have to stand up for your beliefs.

Which is, like, weird, because it's, like, called a sit -in.

Is anyone else tickled by the irony here?

Carrie, look, don't miss out on this opportunity, and don't listen to Kyle.

You're just worried that when she's there, some cool guy in Georgia is going

take her for a gondola ride. You know what? That better be Italian for boat.

Excuse me, what the hell is going on here?

Why aren't you all in class?

We're having, like, a sit -in.

You've got five seconds to get back to class, or there are going to be

consequences.

All right, whose bright idea was this?

Somebody better tell me who's responsible or you're all in deep, deep

I am.

Well, I might have figured.

Bridget Hennessey, you're suspended.