Original subtitles

Naughty America.

Nobody. Nobody.

Nobody. Does it better.

Oh, Apollo, I'm so glad you're here to help me.

When Sam told me you were a business major, well, he knows I need help with

taxes. He even bought me a Taxes for Dummies book for Wednesday this year.

That's a terrible gift to give to your mom. Right?

I'm sure you wouldn't give your mom such a rotten gift.

Yeah, no. If I give her a gift like that, I'd give a spanking.

Ooh, wouldn't want that.

Yeah, she spanks hard.

Were you a bad boy growing up? Get a lot of spankings, did you?

I mean, a few.

What about Sam? He claims that he was the perfect child.

Not by a long shot.

Yeah, I thought so.

How do you understand these forms?

They're so confusing.

I used to think I was fairly intelligent until I tried doing my own taxes.

I mean, it could be confusing.

Most people have trouble with these forms.

That's why they pay people like me to do it for them.

I'm happy to pay for your services.

I wouldn't suggest things.

You're Sam's mom. Honestly, I'm glad to help.

Oh, come on.

You deserve some sort of compensation for this grueling task.

I'm sure I can think of something.

Um, it's honestly not necessary.

Oh, come on. You're saving me.

I'd be lost without you.

My knight in shining armor.

Um, I'm no knight.

Do you have your receipt?

Uh, yeah.

Here they are. I tried to keep them all together.

Oh, sweet.

Cool.

So, do you think I'll get a refund?

I honestly can't say it.

I'll have to just wait until I'm finished.

I sure hope so. I could use a little extra cash, but... So could everyone,

right?

Yeah, I think we all could.

I'd really hate for you to do all this for me without getting something in

return.

Um, I, um, like I said, that's not necessary.

No compensation needed.

Maybe it's not necessary, but it would really make me feel better if I gave you

something for all your time and trouble.

Um, I don't think that we should be doing... Doing what?

You're doing my taxes.

When I'm compensating you.

I

don't

know about this. You're Sam's mom.

I don't feel right.

It doesn't feel right.

Are you good?

I mean, yeah, it feels good, but... No buts. If acceptance feels right,

then go.

And Sam?

Sam doesn't have to know how I paid for your services.

I mean,

you don't find it kind of weird that, I mean, you're always sitting here and

hanging out with Sam and... Are you saying you haven't thought about that?

Yeah, but...

I never really thought that it would happen.

I've been thinking about this for a long time.

You've thought about this before?

I have.

You know things better than I imagined.

Oh my god.

I'm so glad you know how to do taxes.

So you never find out about this, okay? No.

We will definitely not be there for a minute.

Can I go brag into your friends now?

I will tell them to brag. Okay.

Can I see you?

Can I have you?

Can I have you?

Fuck.

You're so fucking hurt.

Thank you for your help.

Anything for you, yeah.

I'm just glad I could help you out.

I'm sure I can find more things you can help me with.

Anything you need.

I really didn't need to do this, but I'm not complaining.

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

um um

oh oh

Allah, Allah.

I would have helped you off your taxes years ago if I didn't have this problem.

We really need taxes.

I've always known it was going to be big.

Thank you.

Wow.

You want to see what else mom can do?

I

mean,

I've seen you in a bikini before, but never this close.

Do you ever think Sam's mom and you will be here like this?

Um...

Get dressed and finish up the taxes.

Naughty America.

Nobody, nobody, nobody does it better.