Original subtitles

[narrator] Brought to you by Slumber-Rite's Sleep Pods.

Sleep like an old witch!

[Principal Secretary] I should be back from City Hall in an hour.

- Are there any questions? - Yes.

Why are you bringing Helen to the principal presentation and not me?

Secretary Prince, you're a faithful servant,

and I trust you to hold down the fort while I'm gone.

But I don't trust you to watch Helen.

That is a burden that has fallen upon me. No offense, Helen.

[snorts] Huh? Did we win the presentation?

Read this in case of a school-related emergency.

And read this in case of a Kiff-related emergency.

No offense, Kiff.

No problem, P.S.

Keep this close. Let's go, Helen.

City Hall awaits,

and the school pencil budget won't save itself.

I can't believe P.S. trusts you so much.

- He sure is the best. - He sure is.

I hope I'm worthy.

Of course you're worthy. And I'm here to help.

I promise there will be no mischief or...

What's that?

[♪ angelic music playing]

This is Principal Secretary's juice machine. Want to try it?

[powers on]

[sips, lip smacks] It's delicious.

Can I get another one for Barry?

I don't know if we should keep using it.

This is the only indulgent thing

Principal Secretary has ever bought for himself.

S.P., it's Barry.

[sighs] You're right. He famously loves juice.

One more glass won't hurt.

[beeps]

I feel... a disturbance.

[snorts] What?

Oh, I... I said I felt a... disturbance.

Ah.

Did we just break P.S.'s juice machine?

[nervous laughter] It's that,

you said everything would be fine!

No, I said nothing of the sort. Now don't panic.

Let's just fix it.

[beeps]

[beeping]

[beeping]

[beeps]

Okay, now we can panic.

[Glarbin] Next!

Remember, we are just asking for a two percent increase

in the pencil budget. That's it. Eyes on the prize.

Right, so when can we ask about the new

state-of-the-art sleeping pod?

We won't.

But, it says right here in Scientific Tabletonian

that the sleeping pod helps productivity.

How am I supposed to fall asleep in school without it?

Have you tried j-- just not falling asleep in school, Helen?

Next!

So, I was told I should tell some pencil-related jokes

during my presentation, but I think I should just get

to the point. [whistles]

[clears throat]

Oh, I'm sorry. Did you want a glass?

From a carton? Oh. No. No, no, thank...

I'm-- I'm saving myself for a glass from my juice maker.

Flip's tech tip number one, three taps, wait, two pumps.

Three taps, wait...

Two pumps.

[beeps]

Turn it off, then on again.

Turn it off... Then on again.

[beeps]

Just bonk it a whole lot.

[sighs] Nothing is working. What does the book say?

Whenever Kiff gets an idea, back away slowly and find an adult.

No, no. I-- I meant in the juicer manual,

not the In Case of Kiff manual.

This is hopeless.

We can't fix the machine in time.

P.S. is gonna be so disappointed in me.

I mean, it's just juice. Maybe P.S. won't care that much.

Wow. What a beauty.

Yep. Yep. Here it is, uh... Here it is at nighttime.

And that's first-- first thing in the morning,

the light catching it. Oh! This is the--

this is the day I got it. This is the day I bought it.

What a beauty. Aw, if anything happened to it,

I don't know. I just, I don't know what I'd do.

You don't mind if we just keep looking at pictures

of my machine, do you? I've got-- I've got tons.

Okay, so P.S. loves juice.

Uh, maybe we could buy a new one?

The juicer's manual says it costs 1700 nuts.

Do you have money?

I'm a child. Do you have money?

I'm a secretary at a public school.

[gasps] Wait! I have an idea!

No, no. Stay with me. We could throw a last-minute midday gala

and invite all the richest people in Table Town.

Eh?

[sighs] And just say we're raising money

for Principal Secretary's juice machine?

Would people really give us money for that?

Oh, what a gala. It feels good to help.

They didn't even ask what the money was for. Huh.

Rich people.

Hello, my good sir.

I would like to buy your finest juice machine.

[sighs] That isn't our finest juice machine.

[drone crashes]

This is.

[♪ dance music playing]

Whoa. Well, can we get the old one in the photo, please?

Old one is discontinued, boss.

This looks totally different. P.S. would notice in a second.

Oh, there's P.S.

[sighs] I can't believe we have to crush his little heart.

Who's in that photo next to him buying the exact same juicer?

[gasps] Beverly! Oh, this is great.

Well, let's just go offer Beverly all this money for her machine.

[slurps, sighs] Wow, so good.

Courtesy of my beloved juice machine.

Now, Kiff, what can I do for you and your little brother?

I'm a grown man.

Um, we'd love to offer you this for your used juice machine.

[grunts]

This machine right here?

Sorry, it's not for sale.

[exhales sharply] This is 1700 nuts.

Seventeen hundred nuts?

Seventeen hundred nuts for this?

Are you serious?

That's a lot of money.

Great. So you'll sell it to us?

Nope. I have that much in my couch cushions. Bye now.

- I think she's lonely. - That was our last lead.

No, it's not over yet.

Maybe we can build a juice machine. Yes. Yes.

It's over, Kiff.

The only thing left to do is take responsibility

and tender my resignation.

[Principal Secretary] I cannot believe this!

He knows.

[sighs] Principal Secretary,

I tender my resignation.

- What are you talking about? - You're angry at us, right?

You're using the voice you use when you're angry at Helen.

Because I am angry at Helen! Glarbin rejected

my pencil proposal.

Helen's sleeping pod pitch "moved him," apparently,

and, well... I'm extra angry because, rather

than have a pencilless school, I decided to sell

my beloved juice machine and use the proceeds

to buy new pencils for the school.

Why would I be angry at you two?

Because we knew you were going to do that,

so we already sold the juice machine.

We thought you were going to be mad

because we didn't get permission.

Anyway, here's the money.

Oh, well, thank you. Well, that... that's, um...

Well, I guess that's all wrapped up, then.

My only question is, what's that juice machine doing over there?

Oh. Right.

The jig is up. I broke the machine while I was trying to make

a second glass of juice for Barry.

He loves juice. I re-tender my resignation.

No, S.P., it was my fault.

I'm the one who introduced Barry to juice in the first place.

[slurps, lip smacks]

I am the one who should be fired.

Secretary Prince, you aren't fired,

and Kiff, students can't be fired.

I know. I have tried. The machine is fine.

I put a setting on it to shut it off

if you try to make more than one glass a day.

I have no willpower when it comes to juice.

Ah! The juice machine is fixed.

It was never broken!

And we have enough money to keep TTS rolling in pencils

for the next ten years! Hooray! You know what? [grunts]

Here we go.

And three cheers! [slurps, gulps]

P.S., I rescind my resignation.

[gulps] I wouldn't have accepted it either way.

I need you, S.P. [slurps]

More than I need juice.

You're the only administrator here I can rely on.

Do you mean that, sir?

[Helen] Oi! Can you keep it down?

It's hard enough to sleep in this metal cage. [grunts]

[snores, grumbling]

♪ She loves juice ♪

♪ It's her favorite thing in the world ♪

♪ It comes from the machine ♪

♪ You know she really loves juice ♪

♪ She loves how it tastes ♪

♪ She splashes it on her face ♪

♪ She loves the juice Oh, juice ♪

[♪ end credit theme playing]

[♪ end credit theme concludes]