Original subtitles

Good evening.

The Alfred Hitchcock Outer is brought to you by... I have here the very latest

in weapons.

It shoots tranquilizing capsules. It's quite harmless, really.

When hit, the victim becomes docile and can easily be captured.

As you might expect, this gun is quite popular among law enforcement officers,

big game hunters, and unprincipled bachelors.

So much for the sporting life.

Tonight's story is about a man who finds himself in trouble because of a past

indiscretion. It begins in one agonizing minute.

Thank you.

8100 Pitt Street, 135.

$20 all you got.

Well, I got 80 cents and change.

All you people. Why don't you tell a driver when you get in you got a big

huh? Well, I can't bust this, buddy.

I'm not a bank. I got a boss.

I'm not in this for my health.

Turn your meter back on and drive me somewhere where I can get some change.

can charge me for it.

There's no place open around here at midnight.

Don't pay anything. Just get out.

We're gone.

Boy.

I'll keep the whole thing.

You're kidding.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Morning, Mr. Maxwell.

Will you have breakfast this morning?

Will you have breakfast this morning?

No, coffee is fine, thank you.

Now, what's so important that you can't look up and say good morning to your

wife? Nothing.

Morning.

That all?

Well, the honeymoon is over, isn't it?

That's better.

Now, let me see what you're reading.

Come on now, let me see.

Celeste!

Oh, dear.

That's awful.

That poor girl.

Yes, ma 'am. Oh, um...

I will have a grapefruit and coffee.

Oh, I see that's already here.

Well, a muffin or whatever other roll we have.

And Mr.

Maxwell will have the same thing.

Oh, and bring him four -minute egg, too.

Yes, ma 'am.

It is too early in the morning for all that.

You can have it back. I just want society paid.

Mrs. Lincoln said that she was going to... Oh, there it is.

Mr. and Mrs.

George Maxwell return from wedding trip.

Hey, look. She spelled Daddy's name wrong.

Oh, he'd be mad.

Oh, pour me a coffee, George.

You have an early appointment this morning?

Well, I thought I'd go down to the office and put up some of the things

have piled up since we went away.

Oh, George.

Oh, George.

Celeste! Celeste!

You are so silly clumsy, George. You are practically accident prone.

Well, that poor thing sure was pretty, wasn't she?

Oh, it's all right, Celeste.

Practically cleaned up.

Newspaper soaked it up.

Well.

I guess it's about time we got some of these wedding presents put away. We'll

that first thing in the morning, Celeste.

And today my daddy's going to send me down two boys from the docks to help me

out in the yard.

Hey, George.

Why don't you stay home from work and help me landscape?

Um, well, I have an appointment with your father at 2 .30. Oh, daddy'll let

off.

It's your Aggie, George.

Oh, no.

Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

We got a wedding present to open your egg with.

Hey, now, isn't that the cutest thing you ever did see?

Mrs. Carroll sent it from Los Angeles.

It works just like this.

Oh, it's too hard.

Celeste!

Celeste! This isn't any four -minute egg.

Now, you take that back and bring him another one.

Oh, well.

You should eat your grapefruit first anyway.

Well, it's too cold.

Celeste always serves them too cold on purpose just to annoy me.

She always has ever since I was knee -high to a grasshopper.

Why, George, you weren't listening to me.

Hey, what were you thinking about with that serious look on your face?

Do you really want to know?

Well, I asked you, didn't I?

If I didn't want to know, I wouldn't ask.

I was thinking about growing a mustache.

A mustache?

Why, George.

Hey, let me see.

Well.

Well,

it sure makes you look different.

Hey, you know, I never kissed a man with a mustache.

Oh, I bet you.

Pickles like the dishes.

There's my daddy.

Hey, Celeste, bring in another cup of coffee for my daddy, you hear?

Good morning, daddy.

There's my baby. How are you, sugar?

Good morning, daddy.

You got a nice cup of coffee for your daddy?

Morning, George.

Morning, Miss Todvick. Bessie made a whole batch of molasses cookie.

Anita Faye wouldn't hear of it unless I brought you some.

Taking good care of my baby?

Oh, well, you don't hear me complaining, do you? I just want to know how you

were doing.

Oh, well, Daddy, you know how newlyweds are.

We haven't been doing nothing yet.

Hey, you are going to send me down to a boy's town in the yard, aren't you? Sure

am.

Morning, Celeste.

Morning, Mr. Hardwick. You taking good care of these kids?

Good as I can, Mr.

Hardwick. Good as I can.

Well, I think I'd better get down to the office.

Hey, aren't you going to eat your new Aggie?

I didn't want it in the first place.

I'll see you at the office, Mr. Hardwick. Fine.

George. Hmm?

I wish you'd wear something besides a black tie today.

I mean, you're not going to a funeral.

You want an Aggie, Daddy?

No, no, no thanks.

Well, no sense letting it go to waste.

And we're dressing for dinner. I'll tell your mother. She'll be real pleased.

Mavis!

Mavis! Hello!

What's wrong with the garage door? It won't open.

Well, I... Are you sure you're doing it right?

Yes, Mavis.

Well, um... Daddy can take you down to work, and then I'll have William fix it.

All right. Thanks, Daddy.

Sure will.

Daddy says yes.

All right. And then I'll come down and pick you up later.

All right. Daddy will be ready to... As soon as he finishes his coffee. All

right, Mamis.

I'm pleased to see you making Mavis so happy, George.

I'm not blind.

I know she's not the brightest girl on the block.

Neither was her mother.

We all know a man's eye wanders. A man's eye was made to wander.

But, uh...

Discretion is the word I hope you'll always bear in mind.

Insist you remember.

Discretion.

I was given this same talk by Ida Mae's father about 30 years ago.

I've always been true to my word.

If, for any reason, my Mavis is hurt, comes her daddy crying

with tears in her eyes.

Her daddy's quite capable of taking giant steps to eliminate that hurt.

Son.

Good morning, Mr. Maxwell. Morning, Miss Hensley.

Yes? Any calls?

Nothing yet this morning, Mr. Maxwell.

Thank you. Coffee this morning?

No, nothing.

A tea? We have alfalfa mint.

No, nothing. Thank you.

Yes? If you want, Miss Henshwick.

There's someone here to see you, Mr. Maxwell.

He says it's very important.

He won't give me his name or say what it's about.

He just said to give you this.

I told him you were busy.

Morning, Mr. Maxwell.

Remember me?

What can I do for you, Mr., uh... Mr.

Kirby. Sam Kirby.

Surprised to see me?

Hey, $20 is an awful big tip, and I've been feeling guilty about it all

I said to myself after I had my coffee and read the morning paper, if I had any

gumption, I'd find you and settle up with you.

Well, that's very decent of you.

Yep. Wasn't hard to find you. I keep a record of where I pick passengers up

and... Drop them off. I just parked on the corner where I picked you up and

waited. Sure enough.

Saw you riding to work in that big car.

Followed you here and asked a few questions.

Mostly the answer I got is, the man that married the boss's daughter.

Mind if I sit down?

Sure is going to be hot today.

What do you want?

It is awful about that girl, isn't it?

I dare on some mother.

You got a match, Mr. Maxwell?

Police are searching for a cab driver who was seen bringing a man who may have

been the killer to the house shortly before midnight.

Mrs. Helen Smith told police she was watching television when she saw a cab

driver up next door.

She saw a man get out and a cab drive away.

They're questioning every cab driver in the city, alphabetically.

Sooner or later, they're bound to get to the K's.

What do you want?

I want to be able to tell the police with a clear conscience.

Why, no, sir.

I did not take a Mr.

George Maxwell to 8100 Pitt Street on the night of May 17th.

Well, what would it take to clear that conscience?

Oh, bigger tip than $20, I bet.

Yeah, I got four kids, you know, one in high school.

The baby's only two, and he's been coveting for a long time a rocking horse

saw in the store made out of pure Palomino hair.

Does your heart good, Mr.

Maxwell, to give your kids expensive presents?

I didn't kill Adele Beaumont.

I didn't say you did.

Now, I didn't...

insinuate that.

But the police might read into it some connection if they knew you'd been

You like to fish, Mr. Maxwell?

Mm -hmm.

Oh, I just love to fish.

I don't ever get to go fishing much because I have to work so hard.

Sometimes when folks are feeling cheap and not tipping, well, I swear I don't

get home till way after dark.

About the only thing you can do after dark in that department is to go gig for

frogs.

That's not near as much fun as lying on the bank with an old straw hat on and a

couple of lines in the water.

I always did want to have me a place across the lake.

Slidell, maybe.

Covington.

I asked around this morning how much a little place like that would cost.

Mm -hmm.

How much?

Oh, about a thousand a month.

A thousand a month?

A month.

Let me get out of here.

Now, I always thought you were a sportsman.

Well, I'd hate to see you get hooked on that trot line and the police haul you

in and fry you up like an old fish.

Of course, there's several other hooks I can bait before that happens.

What do you mean?

Everything's probably in a joint account from what I hear anyway, isn't it?

Or does Daddy still control it all?

Come to think of it, I've been talking to the littlest fish in the pond,

I?

You wouldn't dare.

Tell you what, I do want to be fair.

I'll give you the six o 'clock tonight to think it over.

Weigh it up and down, the pros and cons, to change your mind.

I don't think my price will go up before then, but I wouldn't swear to that.

I'd be having three whiskey sours at this bar between 6 and 6 .45, and if I

you, I'd be there to pay for at least one of them.

Otherwise, I have to bait that old hook again and do some other casting around.

Bye.

It'll have to be pretty deep, Mrs. Maxwell.

Well, then it'll have to be pretty deep, William.

That's good ground.

Yep, real rich. Rose ought to do real good.

George!

Hey,

I thought you were going to call me to come pick you up.

How'd you get here?

I picked a bus.

A bus?

Yeah. What's the matter, George?

Well, it's nothing's the matter, George. You running a fever?

Honey, I think we'd better talk.

Let's go to the game room.

All right.

Oh, William fixed the garage door.

It was just stuck.

What's the matter, sugar?

Well, a man came to see me this morning.

Cab driver by the name of Kirby.

He says he can identify me as the man he drove to Adele Beaumont's house last

night at midnight.

George.

He threatened to go to the police.

Of course, first and foremost, he's interested in money.

Well, what did you do?

I kicked him out of the office.

Did he?

Go to the police?

No, no, no, of course not.

Said if I wouldn't come across with a thousand a month, maybe you would.

I wanted to tell you because you might be hearing from him and I wanted you to

know what it was all about.

George?

Was there any truth in what he said?

George?

Mm -hmm.

But I didn't kill her.

I knew Adele a long time ago, long before I met you. I knew her in

were both trying to get into the movies.

You know, we're always sort of drifting into each other.

You know what I mean?

Betty Jane thinks there may be a rest home or a hospital.

That's what she told Cindy and Amy Lou.

I... said I'd take a bus to Russia.

Right,

mister? That's right, lady.

Right. You come and meet Betty Lou and tell her I said so.

Anything you say, lady.

Good.

Give my friend a drink.

Come on, Lulu, darling. You've had enough. Go on home.

Oh.

What's so funny?

Give my friend some drink.

Come on, Lulu. Time to go. Come on, darling.

Oh, no. I don't want to go.

No, no, no. I think it's too early.

Yes, I don't want to go. Help!

Help!

Just in time to buy the third one, Mr. Maxwell.

Help! Help!

Change your mind?

I talked to my wife.

I made a move, you made a move.

You are a bit of a sportsman after all.

And?

We want to talk to you.

Of course.

Good. When?

Tonight.

At our house after midnight.

Why so late?

We're having guests after they leave.

You want a drink?

Just hit me, Pedro.

All right.

All right, the address is 1400.

Oh, I know the address.

It's the old Hardwick place.

I'll be sure and pack you a cab at least a block away.

Oh, sure.

Sure.

Seems it'll take just one day.

Well, Lisa turned up a lot. A very influential man knew that Beaumont girl.

You did real good with this pie, maybe.

What's your recipe, Mama?

It's real good.

Real pretty, that girl.

Did you see that picture they took in Hollywood, Alva?

Alva didn't maybe do good with this pie.

Fine, fine.

Good night. It is nearly midnight.

We've been sitting here that long?

Well... We have to go, Alva.

We never sat down till 10 .30.

Can I have another cup of coffee, Mama?

No, I can't have you pacing out on the veranda till three in the morning.

Come on, now.

I have a big day tomorrow.

Rummage sale in the morning, bridge club in the afternoon.

You're coming to Sister May's shower, aren't you, maybe?

Yes, I am.

Thank you, Celeste. Good night. Good night.

I'm sorry Alva talked so much about murder, so we didn't have a chance to

about something more interesting. Turn on the porch light, Joyce.

Good night, baby.

Good night, Mama.

Good night, Joyce.

Good night.

Good night, Joyce.

I didn't realize I was playing with a professional.

Boss's daughter buy you this pool table?

Well, I thought we were going to talk.

Well, I want the boss's daughter to hear it.

As soon as she gets back with the coffee.

Then I was right about everything in a joint account, huh?

Yeah. You know, I've been thinking.

I like Covington better than Slidell.

For fishing.

A little bit more expensive, though.

I wouldn't get carried away if I were you.

Oh, a thousand will do.

For a start.

So you want to have a drink?

No, just coffee.

Oh, here we are.

Mr. Kirby, do you take cream and sugar in your coffee?

No, ma 'am, I drink it black.

We've been waiting on you to talk, ma 'am.

I was just telling Mr.

Maxwell here about how well I like to fish.

Oh, I like to fish, too.

Uh, coffee, George?

No, no thanks.

Well, then I don't think we'll have any real big problems understanding each

other, do you?

Oh, I don't see why.

Oh, would you like a molasses cookie with your coffee, Mr. Kirby?

Well, I don't mind if I do.

My daddy's best, he makes the best molasses cookies I ever tasted.

table. Well, come on. He's going to stain up the belt.

George, help me.

Help me get him outside.

Help me, George.

Give me that shovel.

You tried to kill him all along.

Please, George, I don't want to talk about it.

We ought to dig this hole.

For the rose trees, George.

Now come on, help me with the roses.

What's that? Oh, it's all right.

It's just someone turned around our driveway.

Why, these old thorns.

Oh, you are such a baby, George.

Now, let's get this over with.

It hurts.

Oh, you just stand back there out of the way.

Now, they look real nice there.

You remind me to write Aunt Claire in the morning and thank her for them.

Sweet idea to give us a living wedding present.

When we need you, come on, George.

Now, George, there wasn't anything that bad?

Oh.

Mavis. What, sugar?

Last night.

Yes, George?

Last night you told me you were going to Sister Mae's shower. Now tonight you

told your mama you were going tomorrow.

I didn't think you caught that, George.

Where were you last night, Mavis?

I love you, George.

And I don't intend to share you with anyone, even with old friends.

You killed Adele.

Oh, you weren't the only one she got in touch with.

The only one she thought she could get a couple of bucks out of.

Oh, I got a note to meet her last night, too.

And when I got there, well, she told me some things about you, George. They got

my goat.

My daddy shouldn't know.

Well, then when she told me that she was expecting you later, first thing I

knew, my hard -wicked temper got the better of me.

You jammed the garage door.

And then I got so nervous, I took a sleeping pill.

It never dawned on me that you'd take a cab.

George, you haven't got any more around like her anywhere, have you?

No.

No, no, Mavis.

Morning, sugar.

You've been sleeping like a dead man.

I've been out in the garden reading the paper.

George, I want you to wear the new suit I bought you.

I want you to look as nice as can be today.

Colorful. With this tie.

George, it's all fine.

It's all right.

Nobody is ever going to suspect the Hardwicks.

Or the Maxwells.

Nobody.

Just you and me, no.

And you can blackmail me all you want.

Because I can afford it when it's you.

Well, you better take your shower and get ready for work. You don't want to be

late.

George, isn't that the reddest rose you ever did see?

Morning, George.

Morning, Mr. Hardwick.

How's my baby?

She's quite a girl, Mr. Hardwick.

Just rammed that out, eh?

Good morning, Mr. Maxwell.

Morning.

Yes, Mr. Maxwell? I will have coffee, Miss Edgeley.

Yes.

If you have a minute, Mr. Maxwell, there's something I'd like to talk to

about. Yes?

I'd like a raise, Mr. Maxwell.

Oh? Yes, I think I deserve one.

Well... Well, how much of a raise do you think you deserve?

Well, I'd let you decide that.

You see...

George, I know that the man who came in here yesterday morning was Mr. Kirby.

The cab driver the newspapers say disappeared.

I don't know what you're talking about, Miss Henshaw. That man's name was

Murphy. He's a dock worker. I talked to him about union trouble.

I won the Hardwick Award as the most efficient secretary in the building last

year. It was no mistake that Mr. Hardwick assigned me to you.

You see, I have a tape recording of your conversation with Mr. Kirby.

A tape recording?

Mr. Hardwick keeps a very close eye, as well as ear, on all of his employees.

His son -in -law is no exception.

Do you mean this room is bugged? Only when I turn it on.

It's off right now.

It was a very interesting conversation, George.

I transcribed it and typed you up a copy to refresh your memory.

Then I put the tape away in my safety deposit box.

I want a raise.

And a little more attention paid to me.

You didn't even notice my new dress.

Or my new hairstyle.

I think you could start noticing that kind of thing, George.

If you don't, I... I might take the recording to Mr. Hardwick.

Or the police.

Essentially, you are a caution.

I'm sure the police would agree.

Yeah. Oh, yes, that is a very, very pretty dress.

I'm glad you like it.

Miss Henshley, you know, I suppose... Martha.

Martha. I suppose I have been a little too indifferent and businesslike and,

well, not paying too much attention, but... Well, you see, I've had a lot on

mind.

Have you, uh... Have you ever met my wife?

No, I've only seen her from the window.

Well, I told Mavis I'd have lunch with her today. How would you like to come

along? You can meet her and have some leftover gumbo, and we can talk about

rate right there at the house. At the Hardwick place?

One of the show places in the South. Oh, I know.

I've seen pictures of it in magazines.

Martha, do you like molasses cookies?

Yes.

Well, Mr.

Hardwick's Bessie makes the best molasses cookies in town.

Hello, darling.

Get the molasses cookies out, honey. We're going to have a guest for lunch.

Oh, and I thought I'd stop by the nursery and pick up four more rose

You might have William go ahead and start digging the bed.

Yes, dear.

Yes. Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

That's right.

One always wonders what happens after the curtain falls on a play.

In this case, the police became intrigued by the way the Maxwells kept

subtracting people and adding rose bushes.

An investigator managed to dig up some rather damaging evidence that sent the

Maxwells away for life.

One further footnote. At the next flower show, the Kirby Rose won first place.

In regard to the medical use of firearms, there have been some

developments. For example, some people have been playing Russian roulette,

putting a bullet in one chamber and aspirin in the other five.

Of course, in either case, it cures the headache, and that's what really

matters. And now a commercial and some scenes from our next production.

And now, here are previews of our next attraction.

You can return the money you've been stealing from the firm, Charlie.

I meant to return it, Eddie, but I was trapped.

How much?

And where's the cash that's left?

Cash? What cash? No cash is left. Charlie, I'll kill you.

We could leave the country.

Not as long as he's a witness against me, ready to press charges.

What if you were caught?

Charles Osgood committed suicide.

You do know that, don't you?

And he blew himself up.

Well, now, don't you think it's strange that a man who's going to blow himself

up would also attach weights to his feet to drown himself?

Now they're beginning to think that I killed you. Doesn't make any difference

what they think. It's only what they can prove.

What if they prove it?

They can't. I'm alive.

What if they do?

I'm scared, honey. Let's clear out fast.

Fast, but not that fast.

Why not?

Can't leave till after my funeral.