Original subtitles

Good evening.

May I check to see if there's something loose under your bonnet?

I would suggest that you add a quart before it's too late.

An automobile figures in tonight's play, which is the story of a man with an

unpleasant job to perform.

One which he did not wish to do. A situation which I understand perfectly.

But duty is duty.

Ladies and gentlemen, the first...

Took you so long. Arnie said you'd be in the two o 'clock. I've been hanging

around this lousy terminal an hour.

The gypsy told me never to take a two o 'clock bus.

They didn't tell me you were a comedian, Derry.

What did they tell you about me?

Arnie's waiting.

Cars across the street.

It's about time you got here. It wasn't my fault, Mr. Honey. I didn't show up

until 4 o 'clock.

What's the idea?

I hire somebody, I expect them to follow orders.

He's a real wise guy, Mr. Honey, a real comedian.

All right, Earl, shut up. I told you we didn't have to go outside the

organization, Mr. Honey. I could handle it for you. I said shut up. I hate these

family quarrels.

We talk business now or do I come back later? We talk now.

The kid at quarter and sent him to the movies.

Beat it, Earl.

Terry, let's talk.

My price is three grand for the hit.

I do clean work.

I pick my own time and place.

And I keep my clients out of it.

Okay with you?

Yeah, that's fine with me.

The mark's a guy named Eddie Breach.

What do you got against him?

Since when is that your business?

Okay.

I want to see the seventh race.

January Gal is in first position with Tommy Harkness up. Warring number...

got about five minutes.

Eddie Breach used to work for me.

Covered the best slice of territory in the city.

His receipts were like five grand a week.

Only they started to fall.

Four grand one week, two grand the next.

The whole thing smelled bad.

So I took a look into Eddie's activities.

I found out he was making book on his own.

He was setting up his own shop.

You mean he's a crook?

That makes me feel a lot better.

I don't like crooks. Do you, Mr. Honey?

Maybe Earl was right.

You're a comedian, huh?

We can all use a laugh, can't we?

I'll laugh.

I'll laugh when Eddie Breach has dirt in his mouth.

That's what I want, Derry, and that's what I'm paying you for.

Understand?

Yeah, sure, honey.

No, I didn't forget.

What kind of a father would I be forgetting my kid's big night?

Yeah, yeah.

Look, honey, I'll leave the office in about half an hour.

Yeah, you go on over to the school and save us a couple of good seats.

Okay, honey.

Earl will finger breach me this afternoon.

See if he can make the job fast and see that I'm kept out of it.

That's all, Derry.

Get a good picture?

Well, how about it? Did you get a good look at Breach?

Yeah, fine.

How come Breach married a cripple?

He didn't.

No kiddie car they're pushing around.

The dame was in one piece when he married her. It was all his fault what

happened to her.

They got in an argument one day and he felled her.

Fell down a flight of stairs and busted something in her back.

Well, he sounds like a real nice guy.

It would be a pleasure to do business with him.

Yeah, well, don't forget who you're doing it for. Arnie's paying for this

not the day.

To her, I do it for love.

Excuse me, Mr. Breach. You went in on the telephone.

Oh, thank you.

about it

What do you want to play?

D5.

That's an old one.

I used to dance to it years ago.

What's the idea?

Just what you think it is, pal, and it's loaded.

Look, I... I haven't even got five bucks on me.

What's the matter, Eddie? They shut down the tracks.

Harney sent you, huh?

Three guesses.

You gonna kill me?

That's one guess.

Not bad, either.

Look, let's talk a little deal.

I'll pay you twice what he's paying you. Just tell me how much. Just tell me.

How do you know Harney sent me?

Maybe it was your wife.

You're crazy. Why not?

You're crazy. Connie wouldn't do that. She needs me. Needs you for what?

To belt her again?

Look, I'm... I'm trying to make it up to her.

That's why I needed that dough. I'd cheat Harney or my own grandmother if it

helped Connie.

All right, let's hear about it.

How are you helping her?

What's this to you? How are you helping your wife?

This doctor you take it to every week.

Did he say anything to be done for her?

Well, tell me.

Can anything be done for her?

No, he... He never said that.

The spinal column's all busted up.

All he can do is make her comfortable.

Don't you think I feel lousy about it? It was all my fault, but I didn't mean

it.

Maybe she'd be better off without you.

Maybe she would.

All right, let's go.

Where?

Up to your place. Let's go.

Hi, baby.

I, uh... I decided not to go downtown. I ran into an old friend and we got to

talking.

My name is Derry, Mrs. Breach.

Jim Derry.

Yes. You were the man in the bar the other evening.

Sorry to have bust in on you like this.

I'm glad you did. I like to meet Eddie's friends. We don't entertain very much.

That's the apartment you got.

Thank you.

Can I get you a drink?

Eddie says I'm the fastest rolling bartender in town.

No, thanks. I don't drink.

Not on the job. Right there.

Well, let me get you something.

I'm grateful that you brought Eddie home from that business of his.

He stays out late so many nights. I was looking forward to a rather lonely

evening.

I'm sorry, baby. You know I had to go out.

Well, that's all right. You're home now, darling.

Would you

sit down, Mr. Derry?

It isn't often I have a chance to talk to one of Eddie's friends.

He's no friend of mine.

I've never met him before in my life.

Why don't you tell her who you work for, Derry?

At the moment, I work for a man named Rupert Harney.

What do you want from us?

I want us to sit down and have a talk.

I'm already sitting down, Mr. Derry.

Rupert Harney isn't very pleased with your husband, Mrs. Breach.

He thinks he cheated him.

Cheated him out of a lot of money.

I'm sure that's not true. I didn't cheat him.

I just went into business for myself. I've got a right to go into business for

myself. Not with Harney's clientele.

He's worried that if Eddie gets away with this, he's going to set a bad

precedent.

So he only knows one remedy for the situation.

Tonight, this could have been it.

He's a professional killer, Connie.

He's coming to kill me.

No, he hasn't.

You don't look like a stupid man, Mr. Derry. If you were going to kill Eddie,

you would have by now.

Why haven't you?

I'll tell you why he hasn't.

He wants to talk a little deal.

He wants me to pay him more than Harney's paying him. You jerk. Do you

it's that easy?

Do you think Harney will be satisfied if I let you live?

If I walk off this job, somebody else walks in.

This isn't the only gun in the world.

He's right, Eddie.

Maybe if he gave the money back.

Well, how about that, Eddie?

There's nothing to give back. Do you think money stands still in this

We got to get out of town. Maybe Mexico.

That's no good.

Money won't be satisfied that easy. It means too much to him.

Well, I'm not staying here. I got to get away. I tell you, as far away as...

Both of us, baby.

I meant both of us.

Look, you always wanted to go to Mexico. Remember how you used to talk about it?

Maybe Mr. Derry can tell us what to do.

Him?

Why should he? What does he care?

Don't ask me for any answers.

There has to be one.

Look, you need one now too, don't you?

If you don't finish your assignment, Mr. Harney won't like that.

What did you say about him? When he's sore, he only has one remedy?

He has people murdered. Look, don't expect too much from me. I didn't kill

husband. What more do you want?

There has to be more.

Things can't stay the way they are for either one of you.

All right.

Go ahead, kill him.

Might as well.

He's as good as dead anyway.

I don't see what I can do.

Give me some time to think about it.

Don't do anything stupid and don't leave this apartment.

I'll be in touch as soon as I can.

Well, it won't be easy.

Understand?

But there is a way.

It's the only way I can think of that'll satisfy Harney.

He's not going to settle for a disappearance. He's going to want a

How's that possible?

Well, it's going to take a little doing, but I think I can swing it.

There are going to be some expenses.

What kind of expenses?

A thousand dollars in cash and your car.

There'll be some other things later on.

I want you to get some standby reservations.

Mexico, Rio, any place you want.

And don't leave this apartment under any conditions.

I gotta go out.

I got business.

You can't risk it.

Honey hired me to take care of you, but that doesn't mean some other hood

wouldn't try to beat me to it.

There's a kid named Earl.

Yeah, yeah, I know Earl.

He's a punk.

He's the kind of punk that might try shooting you in the back.

Do as he says, Eddie.

But I gotta go out. We'll need dough if we're gonna head toward Mexico.

I have to make collections.

Couldn't you get him a gun?

To protect himself?

I never carry one.

Just till we leave town.

I'll see what I can do.

Mr. Derry.

Why are you doing this for Eddie?

He's such a regular fellow.

Figaro Mortuary.

Fig?

How's business these days?

Got a debt?

Very funny. Who is this comedian?

This is Jim Fig.

Jim Derry. What are you doing back in town? You haven't been around here for

years.

Strictly business.

I want to make a purchase.

What kind of a purchase?

You're the only store in town that has what I want.

I want to buy a corpse.

You have now reached the middle of our program.

If you are considering quitting, I must tell you that it will take you just as

long to go back to where you came in as it will to continue to the end.

So you might as well go ahead after this word from your local station.

Hello. Jerry?

Yeah. This is Joe Figaro.

I may have rocks in my head for doing it, but I got what you want.

He's about six feet, weighs 160.

Hot case.

He's got a mustache. You want me to shave it off?

Doesn't matter.

What time can I take delivery?

Oh, tonight, around 11.

All right, fine.

I'll bring my car around the back of the place around 11.

Who is it?

It's me, Jim Derry.

Come on in, the door's open.

Eddie's not here.

I thought I told him not to leave the apartment. He had to go out. He had to

some money.

You want me to come back later?

No.

He's wonderful.

How many people owe Eddie money?

He's almost like a banker.

I thought he was just a bookie.

He hates that word, bookie.

Whenever he sees his mother, he tells her he's an accountant.

She's a sweet old lady. She knows the truth, but she never lets on.

How about you?

Do you know the truth?

I've never had any illusions about Eddie.

Maybe when I was first married.

Easy to have illusions when you're first married and you've got a young,

straight spine.

Go on and drink.

Go on and drink.

No, thanks.

Yeah, I guess that's essential in your line of work.

Not in mine.

Does he leave you alone a lot?

Huh?

That banker husband of yours.

Does he leave you alone a lot?

Oh, he's a very busy man.

Doesn't keep normal hours like other people.

I don't suppose you do either.

We're talking about Eddie.

Now you're all curious about him.

Why?

You trying to decide whether he's worth saving or not?

I've already decided that, haven't I?

You know about Eddie and me.

About the accident.

I heard something.

It was all his fault.

Tell me about that.

Ah, well.

He'd been working late the night that it happened.

I waited up for him.

I was already at the top of the stairs, already with an argument.

Said some pretty nasty things.

So did he.

He grabbed me and...

Started shaking me.

Lost my balance.

I don't think he hasn't suffered for it. He's done everything he could to make

it up for me. He just can't change me, that's all.

They still look pretty good, don't they?

I used to be rather proud of them.

I have my own theory, Mr. Derry, about why you're helping us.

You do?

I've been this way for over a year now.

Become an expert at pity.

And I can spot pity a mile away.

You think that's my reason, huh?

It's everybody's reason.

That's all anybody gives me these days. That's all they have to give me.

You're wrong about me.

I got nothing to do with pity.

It's out of my line.

Yeah.

I guess it would have to be in your profession.

Is that pay good?

Not bad.

Find your work satisfying?

I never hurt anybody that didn't deserve it.

Do make moral judgments.

You think before you kill.

Maybe I'd better go.

Oh.

No, I didn't mean what I said. Don't go.

It's all set.

You'll be a dead man by tomorrow morning.

You can leave town as soon as you get a plan.

There's a plane leaving for Mexico City at 4 o 'clock tomorrow afternoon.

We've got standby reservations.

You'd better confirm them.

What's this going to cost me, what you're doing?

Like I told you, $1 ,000 in cash.

$500 for me, $500 for a friend.

And what do you want with that car of mine?

You won't need it in Mexico. They got donkeys.

Eddie, we've got to trust him.

If you don't like my proposition, you can take your chances with Harney.

All right, what else do you want?

I'll need your wallet, your watch, any other jewelry you carry.

That's a wedding ring. Is that inscribed?

Yeah, let's have it.

Eddie, Connie, September 10th, 1959.

Good.

What about the body?

That's my worry.

I'm sorry about the ring, Mrs. Breach, but we've got to make this look good.

I want you to get out of town as fast as you can.

When that body is found, you're supposed to be it.

I don't want you hanging around making me out a liar.

That's right. You don't want to lose that dough, do you? The money Harney's

paying you. Eddie.

I got that gun you wanted.

You know how to handle one of these?

I can handle it.

The Farrington 38.

There are four bullets in the cylinder.

I'll take that grand now, Eddie.

And the car keys.

I've been waiting for you.

Sorry I can't invite you in, Earl.

The place is such a mess.

You know how it is. This ain't a social call.

Mr. Harney wanted me to give you a message.

Mr.

Harney ain't too happy with the way things are going.

Mr. Harney says he sort of expected a little more action by now.

You go tell Mr. Harney to read the contract again.

I picked my own time and place. It says so right in the small... I thought you

were supposed to be a pro.

I could have had Eddie Breach knocked off and buried days ago.

I'm sure you could. I don't know why Harney had to go and get you three

I would have done it for half that money.

You would have done it for laughs, Earl.

Yeah, maybe I would.

Go on home, Earl. I'm tired.

You know, I had to show Mr. Harney he didn't need you.

I had to go take care of Eddie Breach myself.

Mr. Harney wouldn't like that.

You'll have to get a spanking.

You're pretty fresh, you know that?

What makes you so special? I got as much hardware as you.

merchandise, Terry.

He's all dressed.

Well, he's not very pretty.

You didn't give me any time to do cosmetic work.

Besides, what's the difference?

You're right, Fig.

To this guy, it makes no difference at all.

Come on, let's get him outside.

May I teach you tonight?

What's the matter, Mr. Harney? You look like a man with problems.

Look, I'll call you back.

Cops just picked up Earl on an old assault charge.

That kid's more trouble than he's worth.

I could have told you that long ago.

Well, there's one problem you won't have anymore.

You mean Eddie Breach?

You won't be hearing from him again.

Give me the details.

Well, I had Breach drive me out in the country out to Potter Valley Road in his

car.

After I took care of him, I gave him and the car a little gasoline bath.

After that, it was easy.

You burned him. Too bad. It was a nice car.

I hate to ruin a good car.

What did you do after that?

Took a long walk.

There's a motel about a mile and a half south. I spent the night there.

And you sure it went all right? Nobody spotted you? Our work is guaranteed, Mr.

Harney. Money back if not satisfied.

Speaking of money. Yeah, yeah, I know.

James Derry? Yeah, that's right. I got a warrant for your arrest.

Me?

Look, you're making a mistake.

Over here, Derry.

Hands against the car. You know the routine.

Start the engine.

You're, uh, Jim Derry.

That's right.

My name's Lieutenant Gere.

How are you?

Can we use an alias, Jimmy?

No, I should ask.

No fellow named Reuben Harney?

Yeah, I've met him once or twice.

What'd you talk about?

The weather.

Don't get fresh with me, Derry. I don't like it.

We talked about horses.

Mr. Harney likes horses a lot. Yeah, we know about that.

Oh, we also know that he paid your way into town about a week ago. Isn't that

right?

I can afford my own car fare.

He brought you here to do a special piece of work for him.

See, Derry, there isn't a great deal we don't know about Rupert Harney.

Oh, for your information, the DA's office has been lining up a case against

for the last six months.

Just your hard luck to come into the picture right now.

I don't know what you're talking about, Lieutenant.

Maybe I can refresh your memory for you.

Now, I'm going to play you a little something, and I want you to listen to

very, very carefully.

This guy, Derry, arrived last Friday.

He was brought in by Harney to knock off a guy named Eddie Breach.

Breach once worked for Harney, but then he got to taking bets on his own book.

Excuse me.

Well, anyway, that made Harney sore, so he...

He, uh, decides to kill him, you know?

Derry's price for the job was three grand.

Uh, oh, yeah, Derry's staying at a hotel called, uh, Gracie. Arnie didn't know

how he planned to kill Eddie Breach, but... Now, how's that?

That's pretty accurate, isn't it?

That's a lot of junk. They shouldn't make up junk like that.

Oh, uh, what'd you say?

I said it's a lot of junk.

part of a statement we got last night.

A statement made by a fellow that knows both you and Harney.

You know what I'm talking about, Duncan.

I don't know anything you're saying.

His name is Earl Clifford. Now, we picked up Earl on an old charge that

bring him maybe 20 years in prison.

Now, Earl has turned space evidence now for getting a lighter sentence.

You know Earl, don't you?

Never heard of him.

Oh, come on, Derry. Help yourself. Tell us the truth.

I'm telling you the truth.

What more do you want?

Well, we both know you killed Eddie.

I just want a nice, clean statement telling me why and for whom.

What time you got, Lieutenant?

It's almost four o 'clock.

That's all I got, too.

What's the weather like out?

Warm and sunny.

Nice flying weather, huh?

Yeah, I'd say so.

All right, Lieutenant, I'll tell you what you want to know.

What?

What's the chance of getting a cup of coffee?

I hope you said it.

Sure, I was hired to kill Breach.

Guy Rupert Hardy sent for me.

Gave me the contract.

I don't know why he picked me. I never did any work like that before.

Oh, thanks, Jimmy.

So I want to see you, Hardy.

He told me the whole setup.

Seemed this guy Eddie Breach had been cheating on him. He wanted him taken

of.

I said, I'd do it.

Of course, I didn't mean it.

I'm no killer, Lieutenant.

Look at my police record.

You won't find any convictions for murder?

No.

No convictions.

Not me.

I went straight to this guy Breach and told him the whole story.

Him and his wife.

He's a cripple.

In a wheelchair.

Well, I felt sorry for her.

Felt sorry for both of them.

I, uh... I told them that I wouldn't do them any harm, but that didn't mean they

were safe.

Hardly just get somebody else to take care of them.

Oh, gee, that was nice of you.

Well, like I said, I wanted to help them.

I told them the only thing to do was to make it look like Breach had been

killed. I said I'd arrange the whole thing.

And that's what you did?

That's what I did.

I got a body.

A dead body.

From an undertaking, Potter, I know.

I put the body in Breacher's car, drove out on Route 6, took a little turn off

into Potter Valley Road, made it look like the car had cracked up.

I doused it with gasoline, set fire to it.

You'll find Breacher's watch and ring on the body.

Maybe his wallet, too. What's left of it.

Only the body won't be Breach.

That's the whole story, Lieutenant.

Send your boys out to Potter Valley Road.

Oh, we don't have to. We already found Breach's car.

Well, now you did all this because you felt so sorry for him, isn't that right?

Yeah, that's right.

He hurt his wife, made her a cripple.

Only now he wanted to help her.

That's the reason he was cheating on Arnie. He wanted to get money to help

wife.

I might have done the same thing.

Gee, you sure make it sound like Eddie was one sweet guy.

Too bad it isn't true.

What do you mean?

Well, Eddie was responsible for his wife's injury, all right.

He knocked her down the stairs one night. You know why?

Well, there's some kind of argument. Oh, they sure did have an argument.

She caught him with another woman, a gal named Louise something or other.

And if you think he gave her up after that happened, you're nuts.

He went right on cheating on his wife.

And the fact that she had to stay in a wheelchair just made it easier.

But the worst part of it is that she knew.

She knew when there was nothing she could do about it. She knew when she had

sit there in that wheelchair and take it.

She knew, Jimmy. And she had to sit in that wheelchair and let him do anything

he pleased.

Now, that was your friend, Eddie Preach.

Well, she said she had no illusions about him.

Well, she knew everything he was.

All the time she was hating him.

Hating his guts.

Anyway, they're gone.

They're on their way to Mexico City.

Oh, you're such a liar, Jimmy.

You tell a very touching story, but you're a terrible liar.

Now, I'll buy the fact that you made some kind of deal with Breach and he was

going to give you a bunch of money and you were going to fake an accident for

him. But all the time you were planning to collect from both parties, weren't

you? That's a lie. I was trying to help him. Oh, were you?

Eddie Breach, 29, male, Caucasian. Found shots at Desmond's apartment at 704

East 73rd Street.

The bullets came from a Farrington .38 found at the scene.

Now we traced that gun to the guy that sold it to you, Jimmy, and he can

describe you to a T.

And that's why you got your $3 ,000 from Rupert Harney. For doing the job you

were imported to do.

Quit bluffing, Lieutenant.

Breach took that plane. He's on the plane.

Eddie, Breach is in the morgue. Right where you put him. You're crazy.

Check the plane to Mexico City if you don't believe me.

Oh, Jimmy, Jimmy.

Mrs. Breach, I hate to do this to you, but would you please repeat what you

me? It's necessary.

It, uh... It was about 7 .30 when the doorbell rang, and,

uh... My husband answered the door. I, uh... I was in the bedroom. I

didn't think anything of it, because...

Eddie was having visitors all the time.

Then I heard the shots.

Two of them.

I opened the bedroom door and he

was standing there.

With a gun in his hand.

I screamed.

He just dropped the gun and he ran out.

That's all right. Thank you, Mrs. Breach. That's all I need.

I say that's all I need. Thank you very much.

Sam?

There too, Jimmy.

That's why you made your mistake.

You shouldn't have been so soft -hearted.

You're right about that, Lieutenant.

The moral of... of tonight's story is, of course, never underestimate the power

of a woman. Then again, perhaps it's simply shoot first, ask questions later.

In any case, I'm certain you are better for having watched.

Personally, I enjoyed seeing a hired killer get in the worst of it. For in

particular field, I'm an ardent advocate of do it yourself.

Unfortunately, the police took a more stuffy view of events.

And Constance is now at a woman's honour farm, where she scurries about in her

wheelchair, arousing pity and riding roughshod over her fellow inmates.

All the best episodes, all day, all night, all weekend. It's a pandemonium

marathon on TV land, where TV fans go for weekend TV satisfaction.