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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
2
00:01:24,027 --> 00:01:25,444
Five eighths of a mile.
3
00:01:25,445 --> 00:01:28,447
Less corrections for construction zones.
4
00:01:28,448 --> 00:01:30,616
Bus traffic, lake clearance,
5
00:01:30,617 --> 00:01:34,954
adjusted ETA downtown is
now three minutes plus ten.
6
00:01:34,955 --> 00:01:36,455
Counting down.
7
00:01:52,013 --> 00:01:53,389
Bye!
8
00:02:12,534 --> 00:02:13,367
Hey!
9
00:02:13,368 --> 00:02:14,368
Hey, look.
10
00:02:16,788 --> 00:02:19,206
Some kinda nut, look at him!
11
00:02:19,207 --> 00:02:20,416
Loves his exercise.
12
00:02:22,085 --> 00:02:22,960
Hey, man!
13
00:02:22,961 --> 00:02:23,961
Nice legs!
14
00:02:27,215 --> 00:02:28,215
Thank you!
15
00:02:44,357 --> 00:02:45,816
Sweet thing, how you doing, baby?
16
00:02:45,817 --> 00:02:47,026
Good morning, baby, how are you?
17
00:02:47,027 --> 00:02:47,860
All right.
18
00:02:47,861 --> 00:02:48,694
Good morning, Miss Blittstein.
19
00:02:48,695 --> 00:02:50,696
Diavolo, fix your
shirt, you're so sloppy.
20
00:02:50,697 --> 00:02:54,075
Come on, girls, let's go to work.
21
00:03:06,755 --> 00:03:08,589
Hey, boss, check out the geek.
22
00:03:08,590 --> 00:03:11,676
Yeah, I want you to see this guy.
Slow down, Diavolo.
23
00:03:19,851 --> 00:03:22,645
It's the same guy.
He's cute.
24
00:03:23,521 --> 00:03:26,023
- He's got nice legs for a geek.
- You're right.
25
00:03:26,024 --> 00:03:28,108
Forget it, we're late.
Let's go, Diavolo.
26
00:03:31,571 --> 00:03:32,571
Marvelous.
27
00:03:41,456 --> 00:03:43,415
Well, anchors away, sweetheart.
28
00:03:43,416 --> 00:03:46,919
Don't forget
to take your Dramamine!
29
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:50,714
Come on, Jasmine, baby!
What can he do that I can't do?
30
00:03:50,715 --> 00:03:52,008
He has a boat.
31
00:03:59,557 --> 00:04:01,767
- Good afternoon, ma'am.
- Hi, Stretch!
32
00:04:01,768 --> 00:04:05,480
Are you getting taller
or did I break a heel?
33
00:04:06,773 --> 00:04:09,093
Facutly pension checks aren't
supposed to bounce, are they?
34
00:04:11,694 --> 00:04:13,822
Here comes young Skridlow.
35
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,619
Good afternoon, Skridlow.
Right on time.
36
00:04:20,620 --> 00:04:23,163
Finished classes, six miles
into town to the faculty club
37
00:04:23,164 --> 00:04:25,457
as usual, and now I'm indulging myself.
38
00:04:25,458 --> 00:04:27,167
Dinner out and a movie.
39
00:04:27,168 --> 00:04:28,168
Bye.
40
00:04:34,551 --> 00:04:38,470
Look, I paid 50 dollars for this tie
and I think it looks great, okay?
41
00:04:38,471 --> 00:04:40,180
Yeah, well, I woulda
bought the other one, you know?
42
00:04:40,181 --> 00:04:43,392
I didn't hire you to be a fashion
consultant, I hired you to drive.
43
00:04:43,393 --> 00:04:46,103
So please, just drive?
44
00:04:46,104 --> 00:04:51,275
Well, one day I'm gonna have my own
driver because I am gonna be an actor.
45
00:04:51,276 --> 00:04:54,945
Look, Diavolo, just cut the
Sidney Poitier impressions, okay?
46
00:04:54,946 --> 00:04:57,781
They'll call me Mr. Diavolo.
47
00:04:57,782 --> 00:04:58,782
Fine.
48
00:05:01,161 --> 00:05:04,288
Hey, wait a second, man,
what the fuck's going on here?
49
00:05:04,289 --> 00:05:05,122
Who is it?
50
00:05:05,123 --> 00:05:08,001
Says moms.
That's one of Mom's cars!
51
00:05:11,171 --> 00:05:15,841
Hey, man, where the fuck you
get your driver's license, man?
52
00:05:18,428 --> 00:05:19,887
Hey, Smooth!
53
00:05:19,888 --> 00:05:22,014
Yeah, here's the Yul Brynner clones.
54
00:05:22,015 --> 00:05:24,349
Hey, Smooth Walker!
55
00:05:24,350 --> 00:05:25,434
Me?
56
00:05:25,435 --> 00:05:27,895
Yeah, you, you son of a bitch!
57
00:05:27,896 --> 00:05:30,314
Mom wants to see ya!
58
00:05:30,315 --> 00:05:31,190
Silly me, I...
59
00:05:31,191 --> 00:05:33,859
I thought we were in the
middle of a motorcade here.
60
00:05:33,860 --> 00:05:36,361
Aren't you boys on your way
to the cue ball convention?
61
00:05:36,362 --> 00:05:38,071
Yeah, you...
62
00:05:38,907 --> 00:05:39,865
Hey, man, watch it, asshole!
63
00:05:39,866 --> 00:05:41,617
Just be cool and drive, okay, Diavolo?
64
00:05:41,618 --> 00:05:44,494
Say, Jack, you know I just had
this motherfucker washed and waxed?
65
00:05:44,495 --> 00:05:45,829
Diavolo, just be cool, be cool.
66
00:05:45,830 --> 00:05:50,627
Say, boss, you
want me to lose these assholes?
67
00:06:06,517 --> 00:06:08,227
Come on, get out!
68
00:06:08,228 --> 00:06:09,061
Let's go!
69
00:06:09,062 --> 00:06:09,895
Take it easy.
70
00:06:09,896 --> 00:06:10,729
Mom's waiting!
71
00:06:10,730 --> 00:06:11,563
Take it easy on the suit.
72
00:06:11,564 --> 00:06:13,023
Look, you want the
Asshole of the Year award?
73
00:06:13,024 --> 00:06:15,860
You have my vote, okay?
Take it easy, Johnny.
74
00:06:18,154 --> 00:06:22,242
Okay, okay, guys.
Listen, I can walk by myself, okay?
75
00:06:23,368 --> 00:06:26,246
What are you guys, training wheels?
76
00:06:27,497 --> 00:06:32,042
Hi, Mom, it's a pleasure
to see you as always.
77
00:06:32,043 --> 00:06:34,337
You owe me 80,000 dollars.
78
00:06:35,296 --> 00:06:36,296
60.
79
00:06:37,173 --> 00:06:39,132
I'm a couple of months behind.
80
00:06:39,133 --> 00:06:40,717
80.
81
00:06:40,718 --> 00:06:44,179
The 20,000 extra is a
late payment penalty.
82
00:06:44,180 --> 00:06:46,014
There are lots of other
penalties, you know.
83
00:06:46,015 --> 00:06:49,393
Look, Mom, I'm doing my best.
I mean, I got over...
84
00:06:49,394 --> 00:06:50,978
Shut up.
85
00:06:50,979 --> 00:06:53,563
The only reason you're
walking around with both knees
86
00:06:53,564 --> 00:06:55,691
is 'cause you got a class act.
87
00:06:55,692 --> 00:06:57,609
I'll tell you what we're gonna do.
88
00:06:57,610 --> 00:07:03,490
You give me your money, your girls,
everything else you got.
89
00:07:03,491 --> 00:07:05,158
Call it even.
90
00:07:05,159 --> 00:07:06,827
What about me?
91
00:07:06,828 --> 00:07:08,078
I'll let you live.
92
00:07:08,871 --> 00:07:09,871
Quiet!
93
00:07:10,832 --> 00:07:11,957
Mom...
94
00:07:11,958 --> 00:07:13,583
I mean, you know how
things work in this town.
95
00:07:13,584 --> 00:07:15,419
Now, if it was up to me alone,
96
00:07:15,420 --> 00:07:19,172
I'd be thrilled to settle
this thing with you, but well...
97
00:07:19,173 --> 00:07:22,137
I got a new partner.
98
00:07:24,012 --> 00:07:25,595
Another partner?
99
00:07:25,596 --> 00:07:31,601
This guy, this dude from Detroit.
He just moved in on me.
100
00:07:31,602 --> 00:07:33,353
Detroit?
Are you kidding?
101
00:07:33,354 --> 00:07:35,063
I know people in Detroit.
102
00:07:35,064 --> 00:07:36,231
Not this guy.
103
00:07:36,232 --> 00:07:38,483
I mean, he's too big, he's too bad.
104
00:07:38,484 --> 00:07:41,529
He's as bad as you are,
maybe even badder.
105
00:07:42,905 --> 00:07:45,741
I'm scared, Mom.
And that's why I...
106
00:07:45,742 --> 00:07:47,952
I go along with the Doctor.
107
00:07:49,203 --> 00:07:50,412
The Doctor?
108
00:07:50,413 --> 00:07:52,247
Yeah.
Doctor.
109
00:07:52,248 --> 00:07:53,458
Doctor Detroit.
110
00:07:56,753 --> 00:08:01,256
I don't know if he's really from Detroit,
maybe that's just a handle he uses.
111
00:08:01,257 --> 00:08:03,884
You mean you let this
jerk-off muscle in on Mom?
112
00:08:03,885 --> 00:08:06,428
Just let him without...
Just let him in?
113
00:08:06,429 --> 00:08:08,221
I was scared, Mom.
114
00:08:08,222 --> 00:08:09,599
He's a scary guy.
115
00:08:10,975 --> 00:08:13,185
I gotta meet this Doctor.
116
00:08:13,186 --> 00:08:16,104
I'll...
I'll see if I can arrange a meeting.
117
00:08:16,105 --> 00:08:18,857
But do me a favor, Mom,
just leave me out of it.
118
00:08:18,858 --> 00:08:20,817
I have suffered enough.
119
00:08:20,818 --> 00:08:22,694
Okay, boys, turn him loose.
120
00:08:22,695 --> 00:08:25,906
If he gets outta line,
you can have him for lunch.
121
00:08:25,907 --> 00:08:29,577
What?
What is it with you guys?
122
00:08:34,540 --> 00:08:36,541
- Diavolo.
- Where to, boss?
123
00:08:36,542 --> 00:08:39,795
Australia, South Pole...
China, okay?
124
00:08:39,796 --> 00:08:41,338
Well, I gotta stop and
get gas, you know that.
125
00:08:41,339 --> 00:08:44,217
Just drive, okay?
Please?
126
00:09:02,944 --> 00:09:04,277
Hey, man, I hate to say this again,
127
00:09:04,278 --> 00:09:07,447
but you got your little
fuzzy white ass in a crack.
128
00:09:07,448 --> 00:09:09,449
And you know there isn't
any Doctor Detroit.
129
00:09:09,450 --> 00:09:10,992
You just pissed away the money!
130
00:09:10,993 --> 00:09:15,539
Please, I know what I did.
I am trying to figure a way out.
131
00:09:15,540 --> 00:09:16,373
Yeah, okay.
132
00:09:16,374 --> 00:09:20,085
Okay, well, you just remember that you
didn't spend any of that money on me.
133
00:09:20,086 --> 00:09:22,087
It doesn't matter, bro.
134
00:09:22,088 --> 00:09:25,090
You are in this with me,
I am not going down alone.
135
00:09:25,091 --> 00:09:26,425
Wait a second, man, what
are you talking about, man?
136
00:09:26,426 --> 00:09:30,470
It's not my fault that you spent all
that money on those clothes, those shoes,
137
00:09:30,471 --> 00:09:33,849
this big gas guzzling tank
and that penthouse of yours!
138
00:09:33,850 --> 00:09:37,394
Diavolo, I didn't say it was your fault,
I said it was your problem.
139
00:09:37,395 --> 00:09:41,022
Now we have to find
ourselves a patsy, okay?
140
00:09:41,023 --> 00:09:43,400
Now, what kinda patsy you talking about?
141
00:09:43,401 --> 00:09:45,193
I don't know.
142
00:09:45,194 --> 00:09:51,032
Just somebody who could be Doctor
Detroit, whatever the hell that is.
143
00:09:51,033 --> 00:09:52,076
Just a yo-yo.
144
00:09:53,578 --> 00:09:55,954
Where are you gonna
find a geek like that?
145
00:10:01,210 --> 00:10:07,007
Mulligatawny soup, lamb vindaloo,
alu parathas, saag, all on the special?
146
00:10:07,008 --> 00:10:08,008
Perfect!
147
00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:14,222
Excuse me, please.
Pardon me, sir.
148
00:10:14,223 --> 00:10:15,056
And for you.
149
00:10:15,057 --> 00:10:17,767
- Guptar!
- Mr. Skridlow, welcome.
150
00:10:17,768 --> 00:10:19,936
Namaste.
151
00:10:19,937 --> 00:10:22,189
Please, this way.
152
00:10:22,190 --> 00:10:26,026
Mr. Skridlow, the lamb vindaloo is
very, very good this evening.
153
00:10:26,027 --> 00:10:27,736
That's just what I was thinking.
154
00:10:27,737 --> 00:10:30,947
What a coincidence.
I will bring the waiter over right away.
155
00:10:30,948 --> 00:10:32,282
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
156
00:10:32,283 --> 00:10:34,118
Thank you.
157
00:10:35,953 --> 00:10:37,871
So he wears this
little sailor suit, right?
158
00:10:37,872 --> 00:10:38,872
Vomit.
159
00:10:39,916 --> 00:10:42,709
And I do my best Flower
of the Orient number.
160
00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:43,543
Jasmine!
161
00:10:43,544 --> 00:10:46,463
Like it's 1931 and we're
in the long bar in Shanghai.
162
00:10:46,464 --> 00:10:48,674
That sounds like fun.
163
00:10:49,634 --> 00:10:54,262
- Till we play find the gunboat.
- Okay!
164
00:10:54,263 --> 00:10:56,515
Hey, isn't that the funny
looking guy with the great legs?
165
00:10:56,516 --> 00:11:00,143
Ooh, yeah!
Great legs, nice tushie.
166
00:11:00,144 --> 00:11:02,479
I think he's cute!
Hi, honey!
167
00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:04,356
- Shh, Karen!
- He didn't hear me.
168
00:11:04,357 --> 00:11:05,477
Look, I don't want people...
169
00:11:11,781 --> 00:11:13,615
- Hiya, girls, I'm sorry I'm late.
- Hi, honey.
170
00:11:13,616 --> 00:11:14,449
Where have you been?
171
00:11:14,450 --> 00:11:16,117
- Hey, you made it.
- Just barely.
172
00:11:16,118 --> 00:11:17,786
Bourbon, no ice.
Double.
173
00:11:17,787 --> 00:11:19,746
What's the matter, Smoothie?
You had a rough day, honey?
174
00:11:19,747 --> 00:11:21,289
Nah, been talking business all day long.
175
00:11:21,290 --> 00:11:24,042
Just money, money,
blah blah bleh, you know.
176
00:11:24,043 --> 00:11:25,126
And?
177
00:11:25,127 --> 00:11:27,796
And everything is fine.
178
00:11:27,797 --> 00:11:29,464
Girls, girls!
179
00:11:29,465 --> 00:11:31,550
Look, it takes a lot of time and energy
180
00:11:31,551 --> 00:11:34,302
just to cover our
investments every day, okay?
181
00:11:34,303 --> 00:11:36,054
I don't wanna talk about it during dinner.
182
00:11:36,055 --> 00:11:36,888
Okay.
183
00:11:36,889 --> 00:11:38,557
- Okay.
- Fine.
184
00:11:38,558 --> 00:11:41,602
Hey, Smooth, look, your old friend.
185
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:45,856
Son of a bitch!
186
00:11:47,275 --> 00:11:49,025
Here we are, sir.
187
00:11:49,026 --> 00:11:52,112
Yeah, listen,
you see the guy over here?
188
00:11:52,113 --> 00:11:54,990
The four eyed gentleman with
his nose buried in the book?
189
00:11:54,991 --> 00:11:56,032
Sir?
190
00:11:56,033 --> 00:11:59,119
The guy with the seat
cover sport jacket.
191
00:11:59,120 --> 00:11:59,995
Yes, sir.
192
00:11:59,996 --> 00:12:02,163
- I wanna buy him a drink.
- Yes, sir.
193
00:12:02,164 --> 00:12:02,998
No!
194
00:12:03,833 --> 00:12:06,042
I wanna buy him dinner.
195
00:12:06,043 --> 00:12:07,919
- Very good, sir.
- Chop chop.
196
00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:10,672
Generous.
197
00:12:10,673 --> 00:12:13,300
Excuse me, sir, but the gentleman
at the table opposite you
198
00:12:13,301 --> 00:12:16,720
with the young ladies,
would like you to join them for dinner.
199
00:12:16,721 --> 00:12:19,389
Really?
I can't believe it.
200
00:12:19,390 --> 00:12:20,725
Sell it, girls.
201
00:12:22,518 --> 00:12:24,686
I wonder what the man could want.
202
00:12:24,687 --> 00:12:27,606
Homosexual come on, maybe.
203
00:12:27,607 --> 00:12:31,568
No, he couldn't be gay,
not with all those beautiful women.
204
00:12:31,569 --> 00:12:35,030
And even if he is, maybe they're not.
205
00:12:35,031 --> 00:12:37,532
What harm in accepting
the man's hospitality?
206
00:12:37,533 --> 00:12:41,369
But no free lunch in this world, say I.
207
00:12:41,370 --> 00:12:44,831
I can thank him, though.
Yes.
208
00:12:44,832 --> 00:12:48,669
Yes, I'll thank him.
That's the decent thing to do.
209
00:12:52,673 --> 00:12:57,053
This is most unexpected.
Do I know you?
210
00:12:58,137 --> 00:13:02,307
Perhaps you were in my Comp
Lit 101 class at Monroe?
211
00:13:02,308 --> 00:13:04,225
I don't believe so.
212
00:13:04,226 --> 00:13:06,686
Excuse me.
I'm Jasmine.
213
00:13:06,687 --> 00:13:10,398
Yeah, and I'm totally thoughtless.
Allow me to introduce everyone.
214
00:13:10,399 --> 00:13:11,941
This is Karen.
215
00:13:11,942 --> 00:13:13,943
And I'm Smooth Walker.
216
00:13:13,944 --> 00:13:15,528
- This is Monica.
- Hello.
217
00:13:15,529 --> 00:13:19,115
Jasmine, of course,
and this is Thelma.
218
00:13:19,116 --> 00:13:23,244
- And you are?
- Clifford Skridlow. My friends call me Cliff.
219
00:13:23,245 --> 00:13:25,664
Cliff!
How cute!
220
00:13:27,667 --> 00:13:29,876
Well, join us, Cliff.
221
00:13:29,877 --> 00:13:32,587
Well, I...
I've already ordered...
222
00:13:32,588 --> 00:13:35,840
Why don't I have Mr. Skridlow's dinner
brought to this table?
223
00:13:35,841 --> 00:13:37,468
- Why don't you?
- Great.
224
00:13:39,929 --> 00:13:42,180
Here comes that chair,
Cliff, just slip right in.
225
00:13:42,181 --> 00:13:44,599
We'll have another fresh drink
for our new friend, Cliff.
226
00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:47,310
How very gracious of you.
227
00:13:47,311 --> 00:13:51,064
Can you tell us anything at
all about this tandoori thing?
228
00:13:51,065 --> 00:13:54,734
You ordered the tandoori?
Well, you're going to enjoy it.
229
00:13:54,735 --> 00:13:56,277
It's really a marvelous technique.
230
00:13:56,278 --> 00:13:58,571
It's a miniature clay
oven, completely enclosed,
231
00:13:58,572 --> 00:14:01,324
a marinade and the heat of the oven
232
00:14:01,325 --> 00:14:04,536
and the enclosure on
top, keeps the juices in
233
00:14:04,537 --> 00:14:08,707
and thus causes the
meat to come out pink.
234
00:14:08,708 --> 00:14:10,083
Ooh, I love it!
235
00:14:10,084 --> 00:14:12,878
Karen!
236
00:14:15,172 --> 00:14:17,090
- Thank you for coming, sir.
- Thank you, my good man.
237
00:14:17,091 --> 00:14:19,050
That was good.
238
00:14:19,051 --> 00:14:20,301
I got it, honey.
239
00:14:20,302 --> 00:14:21,422
Here's your car, Mr. Walker.
240
00:14:21,971 --> 00:14:23,514
Come on, come on.
241
00:14:24,557 --> 00:14:25,557
Ooh!
242
00:14:25,558 --> 00:14:28,560
Fresh air gives one a decided lift.
Doesn't it?
243
00:14:28,561 --> 00:14:30,353
Well, I'm off to the Cinema Obscura,
244
00:14:30,354 --> 00:14:32,939
it's the last night of the Satyajit Ray
Pather Panchali trilogy and...
245
00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:34,149
No, no, no.
246
00:14:34,150 --> 00:14:35,191
I'd like to catch it, so thank you.
247
00:14:35,192 --> 00:14:38,319
Cliff, Cliff, don't worry about it.
I got the whole thing on video cassette.
248
00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:42,198
Pather Panchali, the whole trilogy,
Deep Throat, E.T., you name it!
249
00:14:44,118 --> 00:14:45,952
- Thank you.
- Hey, man...
250
00:14:45,953 --> 00:14:47,620
- Thank you, Diavolo, the door.
- But wait, boss, ain't this the geek...
251
00:14:47,621 --> 00:14:50,623
Yes, yes, this is
Professor Clifford Skridlow.
252
00:14:50,624 --> 00:14:51,458
How do you do?
253
00:14:51,459 --> 00:14:55,128
He is an expert on chivalry,
honor, literature...
254
00:14:55,129 --> 00:14:56,212
Indian cuisine!
255
00:14:56,213 --> 00:14:59,674
Don't forget power walking,
systems analysis, rock climbing.
256
00:14:59,675 --> 00:15:02,093
- And what about erotic adventure?
- I never said that.
257
00:15:02,094 --> 00:15:04,012
So?
Think about it.
258
00:15:04,013 --> 00:15:06,222
Shall we be going then?
259
00:15:06,223 --> 00:15:07,891
- Come on.
- Come on!
260
00:15:07,892 --> 00:15:09,212
Yeah, we'll
have a wonderful time.
261
00:15:11,562 --> 00:15:13,605
And you look like you need
a little company, right?
262
00:15:13,606 --> 00:15:16,733
- Yeah, get in, get in.
- Would you get your ass in the car?
263
00:15:46,472 --> 00:15:48,264
- Catchy tune!
- Yeah!
264
00:15:48,265 --> 00:15:50,058
- Do you dance?
- Not much.
265
00:15:50,059 --> 00:15:53,228
Go on, you got the rhythm.
Go on!
266
00:15:53,229 --> 00:15:55,480
Sure, show us what you're made of.
267
00:15:55,481 --> 00:15:57,148
- Come on.
- So much fun.
268
00:15:57,149 --> 00:15:59,025
You look so handsome in this jacket,
I wanna dance with you.
269
00:15:59,026 --> 00:15:59,859
Give it a try.
270
00:15:59,860 --> 00:16:02,862
Well, I might as well work off supper.
271
00:16:02,863 --> 00:16:04,572
There you go!
272
00:16:04,573 --> 00:16:08,201
- Gangway, hot soup comin' through!
- That's cute.
273
00:16:08,202 --> 00:16:12,455
Hey, Smooth.
What are we being so nice to this guy for?
274
00:16:12,456 --> 00:16:17,085
Well, I'm...
Thinking about taking in a new partner.
275
00:16:17,086 --> 00:16:18,629
Let's go mix it up.
276
00:16:32,142 --> 00:16:36,521
Like Lord Wittgenstein and his monks
drinking wine and the flagons were full.
277
00:16:36,522 --> 00:16:37,815
Watch the water!
278
00:16:41,026 --> 00:16:43,820
Beautiful.
Wait, traffic stop, stop!
279
00:16:43,821 --> 00:16:46,574
- Thank you, thank you, thank you.
- Look out, girls!
280
00:16:49,785 --> 00:16:52,662
I'm gonna fire up a fun log?
281
00:16:52,663 --> 00:16:54,539
Yeah!
282
00:16:54,540 --> 00:16:57,792
Look, it really doesn't do
anything to me and I've tried.
283
00:16:57,793 --> 00:17:00,920
Yeah, you're just
Mr. Natural, aren't you?
284
00:17:00,921 --> 00:17:04,048
Let's get high on life,
the body is a temple?
285
00:17:04,049 --> 00:17:06,718
Well, you could say
that, actually, sure.
286
00:17:06,719 --> 00:17:08,846
- She just did.
- Go on, try some.
287
00:17:10,306 --> 00:17:12,683
That's not gonna do it.
288
00:17:18,063 --> 00:17:20,273
Only way to do, right?
289
00:17:28,532 --> 00:17:29,532
Boy!
290
00:17:37,583 --> 00:17:38,416
Thank you.
291
00:17:38,417 --> 00:17:40,793
Get in there, pile in the back.
292
00:17:40,794 --> 00:17:41,628
Cliff, wait'll you
see this next place.
293
00:17:41,629 --> 00:17:42,462
Come on honey, come to mama!
294
00:17:42,463 --> 00:17:45,048
Okay, here we go.
Wake up, Diavolo!
295
00:17:45,049 --> 00:17:48,217
Drive, my man, let's go go go.
296
00:17:48,218 --> 00:17:49,344
What a great car.
297
00:17:51,263 --> 00:17:53,598
- Forward, Diavolo, forward.
- Sorry.
298
00:17:53,599 --> 00:17:54,679
It's all right, sweetheart.
299
00:18:02,775 --> 00:18:03,900
- He was...
- I read that.
300
00:18:03,901 --> 00:18:04,776
A real nut.
301
00:18:04,777 --> 00:18:05,985
I know!
302
00:18:05,986 --> 00:18:07,278
- He was mad.
- Really?
303
00:18:07,279 --> 00:18:08,613
No, no.
304
00:18:08,614 --> 00:18:12,575
Come on!
It'll make you feel so good.
305
00:18:12,576 --> 00:18:13,409
No.
306
00:18:13,410 --> 00:18:14,410
Ooh!
307
00:18:17,164 --> 00:18:18,540
Hold it, hold it.
308
00:18:20,876 --> 00:18:24,712
Okay, we're on a roll here.
Watch them, watch them!
309
00:18:24,713 --> 00:18:26,924
Into the car, into the car.
310
00:18:28,926 --> 00:18:30,636
Into the car, okay.
311
00:18:36,100 --> 00:18:38,601
I can feel my hair growing!
312
00:18:39,645 --> 00:18:41,437
Hey, baby, it's good dope.
313
00:18:41,438 --> 00:18:45,108
No, it's not the dope.
It doesn't affect me.
314
00:18:45,109 --> 00:18:46,485
I explained that.
315
00:18:49,530 --> 00:18:50,613
Drink up, Cliff.
316
00:18:55,202 --> 00:18:58,037
- New way of looking at things?
- I guess so.
317
00:19:00,624 --> 00:19:02,291
You're marvelous.
You're a marvelous group, really you are.
318
00:19:02,292 --> 00:19:03,668
Are we?
319
00:19:03,669 --> 00:19:06,130
- Very perceptive.
- Thank you.
320
00:19:08,090 --> 00:19:10,466
Welcome home.
321
00:19:10,467 --> 00:19:11,509
Wow!
322
00:19:11,510 --> 00:19:14,721
Look at this place!
It's positively vulgar!
323
00:19:14,722 --> 00:19:17,266
You must be so incredibly rich!
324
00:19:20,060 --> 00:19:22,395
Hey, what?
Your art collection, it's on the...
325
00:19:22,396 --> 00:19:24,689
Why you've purposely...
326
00:19:24,690 --> 00:19:25,815
Because...
327
00:19:25,816 --> 00:19:27,316
Chicago!
328
00:19:27,317 --> 00:19:29,027
Your kinda town.
329
00:19:30,696 --> 00:19:32,321
Yes!
330
00:19:32,322 --> 00:19:33,322
But...
331
00:19:34,658 --> 00:19:36,951
- Where am I?
- You're right here.
332
00:19:36,952 --> 00:19:40,204
- Where's here?
- Well, here is where it's at.
333
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:44,667
Now, come on, don't give me any of that
freshman philosophy crap.
334
00:19:44,668 --> 00:19:46,878
I'm talking existential being!
335
00:19:46,879 --> 00:19:49,840
Well, of course you are, gorgeous.
336
00:19:51,091 --> 00:19:54,093
You're very pretty.
Like a bright little bug.
337
00:19:55,679 --> 00:19:56,722
A dragon!
338
00:19:58,807 --> 00:20:02,643
Say, boss, check it out.
You got my man over here trippin'.
339
00:20:02,644 --> 00:20:04,645
Dude is tripping, what'd
you give this dude?
340
00:20:04,646 --> 00:20:06,564
Stay down in front with the car.
341
00:20:06,565 --> 00:20:07,857
Say what?
342
00:20:07,858 --> 00:20:10,109
I thought you said I could
take the rest of the night off, man!
343
00:20:10,110 --> 00:20:12,236
Sure, but in the car.
344
00:20:21,288 --> 00:20:24,082
Look, what utterly
tasteless furnishings!
345
00:20:24,083 --> 00:20:25,083
Cliff.
346
00:20:46,146 --> 00:20:51,068
So, you're in
the entertainment business.
347
00:20:51,985 --> 00:20:55,446
Well, you could call us public servants.
Don't we look it?
348
00:20:56,990 --> 00:21:00,326
You know, I think
Cliffie is a little tense.
349
00:21:00,327 --> 00:21:02,411
Perhaps a hot bath?
350
00:21:03,539 --> 00:21:04,372
Yeah!
351
00:21:04,373 --> 00:21:05,414
No, no.
352
00:21:05,415 --> 00:21:08,417
I don't think it's tension.
I think it's more fatigue.
353
00:21:08,418 --> 00:21:15,508
I really should be going,
it's far past my usual bed time.
354
00:21:15,509 --> 00:21:18,010
And let's just say I'm...
355
00:21:18,011 --> 00:21:19,804
I'm not tense.
356
00:21:19,805 --> 00:21:20,680
Yes, you are.
357
00:21:20,681 --> 00:21:22,390
I could feel it Cliff, right up in your...
358
00:21:24,852 --> 00:21:27,520
My latissimus dorsi, you're so right.
359
00:21:27,521 --> 00:21:30,439
It's only natural on a night
that could change your life.
360
00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:33,109
Nothing's gonna change my life.
361
00:21:33,110 --> 00:21:36,738
My life is set.
What could possibly happen?
362
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:43,244
How'd you like to
come into this business?
363
00:21:43,245 --> 00:21:46,956
- The entertainment business?
- Exactly!
364
00:21:46,957 --> 00:21:50,334
All I wanna do is share my good fortune,
365
00:21:50,335 --> 00:21:53,839
my involvement with other people,
my world.
366
00:21:55,549 --> 00:21:56,842
Well, I...
367
00:21:58,260 --> 00:22:02,847
I don't know.
See, I have a business.
368
00:22:02,848 --> 00:22:05,016
I teach comparative
literature at Monroe College.
369
00:22:05,017 --> 00:22:07,685
I'm a full assistant professor now, I...
370
00:22:07,686 --> 00:22:11,147
My father's Chancellor of the College,
I'm committed.
371
00:22:11,148 --> 00:22:14,942
Think about it, Cliffie,
just think about it.
372
00:22:14,943 --> 00:22:20,323
Your own business.
Your piece of the American dream.
373
00:22:20,324 --> 00:22:26,787
Nice company pad, the best
employee roster this side of heaven.
374
00:22:26,788 --> 00:22:31,530
Thelma, Karen, Monica, Jasmine.
375
00:22:31,919 --> 00:22:33,753
Now, that's entertainment.
376
00:22:33,754 --> 00:22:38,175
And they'd all be working for you.
All for you.
377
00:22:40,010 --> 00:22:41,010
I...
378
00:22:42,095 --> 00:22:46,807
It's all very sudden, I...
I have responsibilities, I...
379
00:22:46,808 --> 00:22:47,808
Well...
380
00:22:48,685 --> 00:22:51,562
Soak.
381
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:04,409
Think about it.
382
00:23:11,250 --> 00:23:13,543
Relax.
Enjoy.
383
00:23:14,544 --> 00:23:16,713
Yeah!
Yeah!
384
00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:24,804
ETA to splashdown, two seconds!
385
00:23:35,983 --> 00:23:40,027
You dark burnished thing, you!
386
00:23:40,028 --> 00:23:41,654
You beauties!
387
00:23:41,655 --> 00:23:45,825
Ooh, your legs are so muscular
for a teacher! Do you exercise?
388
00:23:45,826 --> 00:23:47,994
Well, as a teacher I stand a lot.
389
00:23:47,995 --> 00:23:53,207
Listen, sweetheart, do you think we can
use battery operated devices underwater?
390
00:23:53,208 --> 00:23:56,836
Yes!
Use them!
391
00:23:56,837 --> 00:24:00,632
I can show you how to
play find the gunboat!
392
00:24:02,968 --> 00:24:06,804
This is the best time I've ever had
in my entire life!
393
00:24:06,805 --> 00:24:12,019
Do you hear me world?
My entire life!
394
00:24:24,406 --> 00:24:25,823
You gonna make it, man?
395
00:24:25,824 --> 00:24:27,908
Yeah, thank you.
I think so.
396
00:24:27,909 --> 00:24:30,078
Thank you.
397
00:24:32,372 --> 00:24:34,333
Take care, my brother.
398
00:24:54,895 --> 00:24:55,937
Hello, son.
399
00:24:57,356 --> 00:24:59,315
Hello, Father.
400
00:24:59,316 --> 00:25:00,566
That's a late night.
401
00:25:00,567 --> 00:25:02,485
I guess, a little.
402
00:25:02,486 --> 00:25:06,906
Good morning, Clifford!
Breakfast, anyone?
403
00:25:06,907 --> 00:25:08,991
- No, none for me.
- Of course not.
404
00:25:08,992 --> 00:25:10,952
You're probably going to
starve yourself to death.
405
00:25:12,996 --> 00:25:15,122
What makes you think
that I'd take my own life?
406
00:25:15,123 --> 00:25:18,376
I was speaking figuratively, dear.
407
00:25:18,377 --> 00:25:21,837
But these financial statements.
Clifford, cash your paycheck quickly.
408
00:25:21,838 --> 00:25:22,713
Margaret.
409
00:25:22,714 --> 00:25:24,340
Would you please excuse me?
410
00:25:24,341 --> 00:25:26,842
That is private business
between the trustees and me.
411
00:25:26,843 --> 00:25:28,719
Forget it, everything's peachy.
412
00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:31,138
Harmon Rousehorn, I'm
gonna call him and tell him
413
00:25:31,139 --> 00:25:32,973
to cancel his visit, we don't
need his endowment check!
414
00:25:32,974 --> 00:25:36,727
Don't you dare.
My God!
415
00:25:36,728 --> 00:25:41,607
Honestly, some people
just can't take a joke.
416
00:25:41,608 --> 00:25:43,317
I'm gonna water my begonias.
417
00:25:45,737 --> 00:25:48,239
Well, I would prefer for
you to hear it from me.
418
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:50,032
But without the Rousehorn endowment check,
419
00:25:50,033 --> 00:25:52,576
this college can't even
meet its current payroll.
420
00:25:52,577 --> 00:25:54,370
But we are getting the check.
421
00:25:54,371 --> 00:25:56,580
I mean, Rousehorn's coming
in to present it himself.
422
00:25:56,581 --> 00:25:58,916
It's a major endowment.
It's in the press.
423
00:25:58,917 --> 00:26:00,876
Look, son, without that check,
424
00:26:00,877 --> 00:26:05,005
Monday next the banks are
gonna close this college down.
425
00:26:05,006 --> 00:26:06,966
Close it down!
426
00:26:06,967 --> 00:26:11,930
A hundred years of scholarship
and public service shot to shit.
427
00:26:13,306 --> 00:26:17,017
I've got to go up and get some winks
before my eleven o'clock lecture.
428
00:26:17,018 --> 00:26:19,437
You've got a nine o'clock.
Is today Wednesday?
429
00:26:19,438 --> 00:26:22,941
- Yes, Wednesday.
- I thought it was Thursday!
430
00:26:26,069 --> 00:26:28,571
- Marianne!
- Hey, Thomas, there's no class!
431
00:26:28,572 --> 00:26:30,781
Excuse me, please!
Thank you.
432
00:26:30,782 --> 00:26:32,241
Morning.
433
00:26:33,410 --> 00:26:36,788
Places please. Let's begin.
Sorry, I'm late.
434
00:26:38,373 --> 00:26:40,749
We were discussing the
hero's role in chivalry
435
00:26:40,750 --> 00:26:42,960
as exemplified by the
character of Lancelot
436
00:26:42,961 --> 00:26:46,672
in Sir Thomas Mallory's Morte d'Arthur.
437
00:26:46,673 --> 00:26:52,470
Entranced by Arthur's Queen Guinevere,
Lancelot, a knight of impeccable virtue,
438
00:26:52,471 --> 00:26:56,432
faces a crisis as his idee
fixe confronts his libido.
439
00:26:56,433 --> 00:26:59,727
Any comments?
Mr. Frankman.
440
00:26:59,728 --> 00:27:02,939
What do you think of Lancelot's crisis?
441
00:27:04,357 --> 00:27:07,359
Well, I think Lancelot was an idiot.
442
00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:10,863
Mr. Frankman, how long have you been
in the first year program?
443
00:27:10,864 --> 00:27:12,198
Four years.
444
00:27:14,367 --> 00:27:20,039
Duty, selfless honor, chastity, humility,
purity, a devotion to a greater good.
445
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:23,335
I mean, by now don't any of these things
mean anything to you?
446
00:27:25,253 --> 00:27:28,714
All together now.
447
00:27:28,715 --> 00:27:31,634
What is the chivalric ideal?
448
00:27:31,635 --> 00:27:34,261
The Chivalric ideal is one of duty
449
00:27:34,262 --> 00:27:38,349
to a higher cause in
which purity and chastity
450
00:27:38,350 --> 00:27:42,895
are virtues and manly strength and honor
are devoted to their preservation.
451
00:27:42,896 --> 00:27:44,438
And justice for all.
452
00:27:48,026 --> 00:27:50,236
Just let it out, though,
get to your real feelings.
453
00:27:50,237 --> 00:27:52,363
- How does it feel in there?
- Hey, man, I feel lousy.
454
00:27:52,364 --> 00:27:54,031
- Lousy.
- I feel shitty.
455
00:27:54,032 --> 00:27:56,075
- I feel pissed off.
- Violent, hostile?
456
00:27:56,076 --> 00:27:57,618
- Yeah, a little.
- Great!
457
00:27:57,619 --> 00:28:00,496
- Hit me!
- Hey, man, I can't do that!
458
00:28:00,497 --> 00:28:01,914
What?
459
00:28:01,915 --> 00:28:04,458
Look, you can.
You want to.
460
00:28:04,459 --> 00:28:07,419
You have to.
I need it!
461
00:28:07,420 --> 00:28:09,672
Hey, man, what's wrong with you?
You getting a little kinky?
462
00:28:09,673 --> 00:28:12,800
'Cause if you are it's gonna cost you
a little extra, I learned that from the girls.
463
00:28:12,801 --> 00:28:16,303
They learned that from me
and that has nothing to do with this!
464
00:28:16,304 --> 00:28:21,141
Now, look, Diavolo, for once, do what
I tell you to do and try to do it right!
465
00:28:21,142 --> 00:28:22,142
Now, hit me!
466
00:28:23,311 --> 00:28:25,145
Say, man, what's wrong with you, man?
You going crazy or something?
467
00:28:25,146 --> 00:28:27,022
I can't hit you.
You want me to call a doctor?
468
00:28:27,023 --> 00:28:28,607
- I ain't hitting you, man!
- Okay!
469
00:28:28,608 --> 00:28:31,986
Okay.
I'll make it real easy for you.
470
00:28:31,987 --> 00:28:34,738
I got everything, you got nothing, right?
471
00:28:34,739 --> 00:28:37,992
I'm the boss, you ain't jack shit.
472
00:28:37,993 --> 00:28:41,537
I am white.
I don't even know what you are.
473
00:28:41,538 --> 00:28:42,913
Say, man, I'm black.
474
00:28:42,914 --> 00:28:43,998
All right, then try to remember
475
00:28:43,999 --> 00:28:47,001
that my grandfather
owned your grandfather.
476
00:28:47,002 --> 00:28:48,002
Your mama!
477
00:28:49,045 --> 00:28:50,838
That's good, Diavolo, that's good.
478
00:28:50,839 --> 00:28:52,798
- My back!
- Your ass!
479
00:28:52,799 --> 00:28:54,842
Now, take it easy!
Take it easy!
480
00:28:54,843 --> 00:28:56,885
- Not the teeth!
- Say, don't tell me what to do!
481
00:28:56,886 --> 00:29:00,806
You want me to kick your ass and I'm
gonna kick your white motherfuckin' ass!
482
00:29:00,807 --> 00:29:03,893
Thank you!
Thank you, thank you!
483
00:29:12,193 --> 00:29:13,193
Nice.
484
00:29:14,362 --> 00:29:18,157
Black eye, lacerations,
multiple contusions.
485
00:29:18,158 --> 00:29:22,953
Hey, what'd you do, try to
roll a sailor?
486
00:29:22,954 --> 00:29:24,331
Doctor Detroit.
487
00:29:25,582 --> 00:29:28,375
He's bad, Mom.
Really bad.
488
00:29:28,376 --> 00:29:30,628
Mom, I gotta get outta town.
489
00:29:30,629 --> 00:29:34,883
Now, you heavies can settle this shit,
just leave old Smooth out of it.
490
00:29:36,468 --> 00:29:37,760
You mean that's it?
491
00:29:37,761 --> 00:29:40,179
A couple of broken ribs,
you're ready to cave in?
492
00:29:40,180 --> 00:29:43,515
Gee, with a partner like
you, who needs enemies?
493
00:29:43,516 --> 00:29:44,559
Adios, Mom.
494
00:29:46,895 --> 00:29:48,479
And believe me.
495
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:51,649
You deserve to get every
bit of your cash back.
496
00:29:51,650 --> 00:29:54,778
It's just that...
I don't have it.
497
00:29:57,489 --> 00:29:59,740
See Doctor Detroit, he's...
498
00:29:59,741 --> 00:30:03,662
He's your man.
God.
499
00:30:06,081 --> 00:30:07,164
Give me that shit.
500
00:30:07,165 --> 00:30:09,542
- Are you kidding?
- He's for real.
501
00:30:10,877 --> 00:30:12,836
I gotta find out more about this Doctor.
502
00:30:12,837 --> 00:30:15,506
Hey, what's that black
chick who works for Smooth?
503
00:30:15,507 --> 00:30:18,759
- Um, Thelma.
- Get her busted.
504
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:21,345
I wanna see just how good this Doctor
takes care of his people.
505
00:30:21,346 --> 00:30:23,431
- She's busted.
- Let's do it.
506
00:30:29,813 --> 00:30:34,191
Look out, asshole!
Thank you, ma'am, thank you.
507
00:30:34,192 --> 00:30:35,192
Yes.
508
00:30:38,780 --> 00:30:40,781
Okay, Mr. Finkelman.
509
00:30:40,782 --> 00:30:46,537
We have you one way first
class Air Togo to the Cook Islands
510
00:30:46,538 --> 00:30:49,165
then local service to Rarotonga.
511
00:30:50,917 --> 00:30:52,918
Are you sure you want this just one way?
512
00:30:52,919 --> 00:30:55,296
Right, sweetheart.
One way, no return.
513
00:30:57,424 --> 00:30:59,174
In the financial briefing you'll see
514
00:30:59,175 --> 00:31:02,136
that each person has their own report
as well as what is there.
515
00:31:02,137 --> 00:31:03,897
Now, Arthur, if we
could just move forward...
516
00:31:04,597 --> 00:31:08,183
Now, may I have your attention, please,
to item six on the agenda,
517
00:31:08,184 --> 00:31:10,352
which is the alumni dinner.
518
00:31:10,353 --> 00:31:14,815
As customary, we will be at the
Excelsior Hotel in the Orchid Room.
519
00:31:14,816 --> 00:31:17,401
Cliff will introduce Harmon Rousehorn.
520
00:31:17,402 --> 00:31:20,237
Cliff!
Cliff, may we have your attention, please?
521
00:31:20,238 --> 00:31:22,782
Um...
I'm sorry.
522
00:31:23,658 --> 00:31:25,868
Go ahead, sir.
523
00:31:25,869 --> 00:31:29,997
The President Emeritus will present
the honorary degree.
524
00:31:29,998 --> 00:31:32,916
Mr. Rousehorn will make
a few brief remarks
525
00:31:32,917 --> 00:31:37,379
and then present the college with the
endowment check for the Harold Robbins Chair.
526
00:31:37,380 --> 00:31:39,673
- Are there any questions?
- Will there be a fruit cup?
527
00:31:39,674 --> 00:31:40,591
- Yes.
- Yes.
528
00:31:40,592 --> 00:31:42,593
Will there be a
choice of vegetables?
529
00:31:42,594 --> 00:31:43,510
No.
530
00:31:43,511 --> 00:31:45,137
Last year there wasn't any fruit cup.
531
00:31:45,138 --> 00:31:46,722
- No.
- And the shrimp were off.
532
00:31:47,557 --> 00:31:50,976
This year there will be a fruit cup.
533
00:31:50,977 --> 00:31:52,978
This is Chancellor Skridlow.
534
00:31:52,979 --> 00:31:55,564
Hello, Cliff?
Cliff?
535
00:31:55,565 --> 00:31:59,234
Cliff, I believe this is for you.
Would you please make it snappy, son?
536
00:31:59,235 --> 00:32:01,361
This is "Criff".
Cliff.
537
00:32:01,362 --> 00:32:04,364
Cliff, good morning.
I'm still tingling from last night.
538
00:32:04,365 --> 00:32:06,742
But something terrible has
happened, you have to help me!
539
00:32:06,743 --> 00:32:10,162
Well, um,
Miss Wu, I'm in a meeting.
540
00:32:10,163 --> 00:32:13,457
Perhaps we could
discuss this in class.
541
00:32:13,458 --> 00:32:15,709
- Class?
- Class, my ass! Give me that.
542
00:32:15,710 --> 00:32:16,710
Excuse me.
543
00:32:18,213 --> 00:32:19,422
What is it?
544
00:32:20,715 --> 00:32:23,634
Thelma's in jail and Smooth's
gone, so you gotta help her.
545
00:32:23,635 --> 00:32:27,262
Give me that phone!
Hi, Cliff, it's me, Karen.
546
00:32:27,263 --> 00:32:28,555
Listen, first things first,
547
00:32:28,556 --> 00:32:30,516
you're gonna have to get
over here as fast as you can
548
00:32:30,517 --> 00:32:32,059
and help us out because
this is a big emergency.
549
00:32:32,060 --> 00:32:33,060
I've no time, thank you.
550
00:32:33,061 --> 00:32:37,314
- I'm so sorry for the interruption.
- So are we.
551
00:32:37,315 --> 00:32:39,525
Now, obviously there is no need to stress
552
00:32:39,526 --> 00:32:42,778
the importance of the
Rousehorn endowment...
553
00:32:45,156 --> 00:32:45,989
Hello?
554
00:32:45,990 --> 00:32:47,825
Hey, Cliff,
what's the big idea, anyway?
555
00:32:47,826 --> 00:32:50,744
I mean, you know, after last
night a person would think,
556
00:32:50,745 --> 00:32:52,996
well what, were you using us?
557
00:32:52,997 --> 00:32:55,749
Listen, I'm in a very
important meeting right now
558
00:32:55,750 --> 00:32:59,795
with the faculty of my college,
including my father, the Chancellor.
559
00:32:59,796 --> 00:33:01,880
- Cliff?
- He's talking about his father.
560
00:33:01,881 --> 00:33:03,841
Shut up.
This is Monica.
561
00:33:03,842 --> 00:33:04,675
Birthmark.
562
00:33:04,676 --> 00:33:06,802
Excuse me!
563
00:33:09,389 --> 00:33:12,683
Okay, now listen.
I sent Diavolo with the car.
564
00:33:12,684 --> 00:33:15,394
Yo, is Cliff Skridlow here?
Cliff, what's happening?
565
00:33:15,395 --> 00:33:17,312
Hey, man, I'm double parked outside, man.
566
00:33:17,313 --> 00:33:18,564
Well, you'll just have to wait.
567
00:33:18,565 --> 00:33:20,941
What the hell is going
on around here anyway?
568
00:33:20,942 --> 00:33:22,484
He just got here.
569
00:33:22,485 --> 00:33:23,318
Faculty only!
570
00:33:23,319 --> 00:33:25,445
I'm so sorry about
these interruptions.
571
00:33:25,446 --> 00:33:26,905
Are we still in session
or is this a coffee break?
572
00:33:26,906 --> 00:33:28,365
No, we are still in session.
573
00:33:28,366 --> 00:33:29,199
And we gotta go, bro.
574
00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:30,033
Well, are you?
575
00:33:30,034 --> 00:33:32,536
I'm coming.
I'll be there.
576
00:33:32,537 --> 00:33:35,915
Don't worry about a thing, I'm on my way.
577
00:33:37,292 --> 00:33:41,378
Vietnamese girl distraught, distressed.
Urgent.
578
00:33:41,379 --> 00:33:44,464
Needs immediate faculty counseling.
I'll be back.
579
00:33:44,465 --> 00:33:45,465
Why, of course.
580
00:34:04,986 --> 00:34:08,656
301.
Robert E. Lee Davis-Jackson.
581
00:34:10,325 --> 00:34:12,242
I don't wanna hear anymore about it!
582
00:34:12,243 --> 00:34:16,455
Every time I turn around you're up here
in front of me on a traffic violation.
583
00:34:16,456 --> 00:34:18,081
And if it happens one more time,
584
00:34:18,082 --> 00:34:21,251
you're gonna be spending your
declining years in the slammer!
585
00:34:21,252 --> 00:34:23,338
Now, get outta here.
Next case.
586
00:34:24,255 --> 00:34:26,840
Southern tyrant.
587
00:34:28,051 --> 00:34:30,260
Pardon me, are you looking for a lawyer?
588
00:34:30,261 --> 00:34:31,595
No.
589
00:34:31,596 --> 00:34:33,680
Well, would you like
to discuss it over a drink?
590
00:34:33,681 --> 00:34:35,057
I know a wonderful, cozy little bar off...
591
00:34:35,058 --> 00:34:37,601
No, no thank you.
I have business with the court.
592
00:34:37,602 --> 00:34:38,435
Thanks anyway.
593
00:34:54,911 --> 00:34:55,744
Well, excuse me.
594
00:34:56,579 --> 00:34:58,830
Sir, I have a business
proposition for you.
595
00:34:59,666 --> 00:35:02,042
Would you be willing to, part with
596
00:35:02,043 --> 00:35:07,130
certain elements of your unique
wardrobe for a cash retainer?
597
00:35:07,131 --> 00:35:10,384
I mean...
Sell my clothes?
598
00:35:10,385 --> 00:35:11,385
Come on.
599
00:35:12,220 --> 00:35:13,303
If, look, I mean...
600
00:35:13,304 --> 00:35:17,015
If there were thoughts in that direction,
I mean, what...
601
00:35:17,016 --> 00:35:19,518
What sort of offer are
we kinda talking about?
602
00:35:19,519 --> 00:35:21,019
Well, I wouldn't want to insult you.
603
00:35:21,020 --> 00:35:24,731
You can't insult me.
You see, I'm a lawyer.
604
00:35:24,732 --> 00:35:26,108
Talk best price.
605
00:35:26,109 --> 00:35:29,528
I have repeatedly warned counsel
not to provoke the court with...
606
00:35:29,529 --> 00:35:30,862
This department 20 and one?
607
00:35:30,863 --> 00:35:31,697
Shh!
608
00:35:31,698 --> 00:35:32,739
Quiet in the court.
609
00:35:32,740 --> 00:35:35,534
Step aside, lackey, or
you'll be eatin' my boot.
610
00:35:36,744 --> 00:35:38,412
What is going on?
611
00:35:38,413 --> 00:35:41,164
Exactly, Your Honor!
What is going on?
612
00:35:41,165 --> 00:35:45,252
When a flower of the South, a decent
girl with a beautiful, good family,
613
00:35:45,253 --> 00:35:48,547
is arrested on her way home
from her niece's confirmation
614
00:35:48,548 --> 00:35:52,467
and booked and incarcerated like
a common woman of the streets?
615
00:35:52,468 --> 00:35:54,302
I'm talking about Thelma Cleland
616
00:35:54,303 --> 00:35:57,264
of the Cleland Parrish Clelands of
Bay St. Luke, Louisiana.
617
00:35:57,265 --> 00:35:58,140
Excuse me.
618
00:35:58,141 --> 00:36:01,018
Where her father, Colonel
Judge Bryant Cleland
619
00:36:01,019 --> 00:36:03,895
presides over the Cleland
County Fifth Circuit Bench.
620
00:36:03,896 --> 00:36:06,481
Now, I demand that you
release this girl right now
621
00:36:06,482 --> 00:36:08,859
or you'll all taste the
business end of a buggy whip!
622
00:36:08,860 --> 00:36:10,527
- Bailiff!
- Yes sir?
623
00:36:10,528 --> 00:36:12,112
Get your ass over here!
624
00:36:12,113 --> 00:36:14,741
- You've got a case number?
- Hell, yes, I do.
625
00:36:16,075 --> 00:36:19,787
It's 20569er, A Alpha R Ranger.
626
00:36:20,788 --> 00:36:21,621
I'll get her.
627
00:36:21,622 --> 00:36:22,581
Shh!
628
00:36:22,582 --> 00:36:26,793
Now, just exactly what is your
relationship to the arrestee?
629
00:36:26,794 --> 00:36:30,714
Well, sir, the young woman is my sister.
630
00:36:30,715 --> 00:36:34,718
And I know you can believe
that the family honor is at stake here.
631
00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:38,889
You strike me as a gentleman, sir.
Surely you must understand.
632
00:36:38,890 --> 00:36:41,058
Why, of course I understand.
633
00:36:41,059 --> 00:36:45,562
My people were related to Jefferson Davis
on my mother's side.
634
00:36:45,563 --> 00:36:47,481
I knew it!
635
00:36:47,482 --> 00:36:50,317
I knew it, indeed I knew it,
a son of the South!
636
00:36:50,318 --> 00:36:51,151
Son of what?
637
00:36:51,152 --> 00:36:54,154
Of the South, sir!
The Confederacy.
638
00:36:54,155 --> 00:36:55,864
- Your Honor.
- What?
639
00:36:55,865 --> 00:36:58,617
Loitering with intent
to commit prostitution.
640
00:36:58,618 --> 00:37:01,203
Lewd behavior, soliciting
for an unlawful act,
641
00:37:01,204 --> 00:37:04,039
bail at 350 dollars, Your Honor.
642
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:05,916
I can't believe my
ears, this is an outrage!
643
00:37:05,917 --> 00:37:06,750
Let me see that thing!
644
00:37:06,751 --> 00:37:09,419
I mean, this is outrageous, ridiculous!
Let me see that!
645
00:37:09,420 --> 00:37:11,213
Why, I demand satisfaction!
646
00:37:11,214 --> 00:37:14,800
Get the arresting officer in here!
I will tar and feather the scalawag!
647
00:37:14,801 --> 00:37:17,345
Now, hold on, Mr. Cleland.
Hold on.
648
00:37:18,346 --> 00:37:21,098
I can release your sister
on her own recognizance
649
00:37:21,099 --> 00:37:24,768
and dismiss this case in
the interest of justice.
650
00:37:24,769 --> 00:37:26,728
Well, thank you,
it'd serve my family well, sir.
651
00:37:26,729 --> 00:37:29,189
We'd be very, very grateful.
652
00:37:29,190 --> 00:37:30,982
- Do you like shrimp?
- Indeed, I do.
653
00:37:30,983 --> 00:37:32,859
Yeah well, fine, you can
come down to Bay St. Luke,
654
00:37:32,860 --> 00:37:34,569
we'll cook you up a whole mess of shrimp.
655
00:37:34,570 --> 00:37:36,988
We got some shrimp in that family.
Here, have a Tampa.
656
00:37:36,989 --> 00:37:37,823
Thank you.
657
00:37:37,824 --> 00:37:40,200
- Thelma!
- Bud!
658
00:37:40,201 --> 00:37:43,745
- Come on, honey, we're going home.
- And not a moment, too soon.
659
00:37:43,746 --> 00:37:44,913
Case dismissed.
660
00:37:44,914 --> 00:37:47,707
I can't tell you the indignities
I suffered here in this...
661
00:37:47,708 --> 00:37:49,209
Thank you, Your Honor,
my father thanks you!
662
00:37:49,210 --> 00:37:50,961
You are entirely welcome.
663
00:37:50,962 --> 00:37:52,504
That girl is colored!
664
00:37:53,965 --> 00:37:56,091
Honey, nobody colored me,
I was born this way!
665
00:37:56,092 --> 00:37:57,259
Now, come here, baby, that's all right!
666
00:37:57,260 --> 00:37:59,719
Bye bye!
Bye bye, see you later!
667
00:37:59,720 --> 00:38:01,680
Diavolo could have told me
you were the black person...
668
00:38:01,681 --> 00:38:05,475
Bailiff, I want that man charged
with impersonating a cracker!
669
00:38:05,476 --> 00:38:06,768
Yes, sir!
670
00:38:06,769 --> 00:38:09,646
Cliff, that was just incredible.
I can't believe you did that.
671
00:38:09,647 --> 00:38:12,858
- How did this happen to you?
- I was busted, it's an occupational...
672
00:38:12,859 --> 00:38:15,046
I mean, an occasional hazard, you know?
673
00:38:16,863 --> 00:38:19,364
- Cliff, I mean...
- Impossible!
674
00:38:19,365 --> 00:38:21,533
It was never agreed, never
mentioned, never discussed.
675
00:38:21,534 --> 00:38:22,367
Come on.
676
00:38:22,368 --> 00:38:24,452
Come on, Cliff, Smooth was very clear
about the whole thing.
677
00:38:24,453 --> 00:38:27,122
He said, "I'm gonna be gone two
or three days and Cliff's in charge".
678
00:38:27,123 --> 00:38:28,999
Have you even heard of Doctor Detroit?
679
00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:31,084
You see, Skridlow, this
guy has got to be a big man.
680
00:38:31,085 --> 00:38:33,044
- He's got to be cool.
- Right.
681
00:38:33,045 --> 00:38:34,421
He's a partner like Mom,
but only worse, brother.
682
00:38:34,422 --> 00:38:35,547
Mom?
683
00:38:35,548 --> 00:38:37,868
Are you saying someone's mother is
involved in all of this?
684
00:38:39,552 --> 00:38:40,552
Yes!
685
00:38:42,305 --> 00:38:43,138
Boy.
686
00:38:43,139 --> 00:38:43,972
Hey, check upstairs.
687
00:38:43,973 --> 00:38:45,640
I like this.
Okay, Mom.
688
00:38:45,641 --> 00:38:49,561
This is nice, this is real nice.
A gal could be real comfy in here.
689
00:38:49,562 --> 00:38:53,064
I... I don't believe
that you're welcome here
690
00:38:53,065 --> 00:38:54,858
and I think that you'd
better leave because...
691
00:38:54,859 --> 00:38:55,859
Quiet!
692
00:38:56,903 --> 00:39:00,530
Who is this twerp?
Doctor Detroit?
693
00:39:00,531 --> 00:39:02,949
- Well, I wouldn't even venture...
- Don't bother.
694
00:39:02,950 --> 00:39:07,287
My little stable is
top drawer high quality.
695
00:39:07,288 --> 00:39:09,915
Am I gonna enjoy
running these bitches.
696
00:39:09,916 --> 00:39:12,959
Hey, we don't work for you.
We never have and we never will.
697
00:39:12,960 --> 00:39:16,463
You just sit down!
698
00:39:16,464 --> 00:39:17,464
Now, listen!
699
00:39:17,465 --> 00:39:21,885
Smooth's gone, which means
your ass is mine, girlie.
700
00:39:21,886 --> 00:39:24,346
Pardon me
for just a second, now.
701
00:39:24,347 --> 00:39:28,058
I just, just wanna
clarify things here, I...
702
00:39:28,059 --> 00:39:31,811
Now, are you actually saying
that these girls are...
703
00:39:31,812 --> 00:39:34,815
They're hookers.
And whores.
704
00:39:40,154 --> 00:39:41,821
Hey!
Hey, I like this.
705
00:39:41,822 --> 00:39:44,491
Take it.
Get this thing here.
706
00:39:44,492 --> 00:39:48,119
Forget that.
Hey, I like this.
707
00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:50,330
Ooh, ain't that a beauty?
708
00:39:50,331 --> 00:39:52,666
Ooh, I like this.
Here!
709
00:39:53,501 --> 00:39:54,334
Hey!
710
00:39:54,335 --> 00:39:56,294
Okay, now, I want you to stop this,
right this instant!
711
00:39:56,295 --> 00:39:57,212
Let's see what else I can find.
712
00:39:57,213 --> 00:39:58,546
I mean that!
713
00:39:58,547 --> 00:40:00,590
Clifford, no, Cliff!
714
00:40:00,591 --> 00:40:02,217
You'll stop!
715
00:40:02,218 --> 00:40:04,970
You'll take your dirty
mitts off the fixtures.
716
00:40:04,971 --> 00:40:06,596
Those are Doctor's orders.
717
00:40:06,597 --> 00:40:07,639
Doctor Detroit?
718
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:12,185
The bad man from Michigan himself.
I am his executive assistant.
719
00:40:12,186 --> 00:40:14,521
You touch any of us and
his measure of revenge
720
00:40:14,522 --> 00:40:18,191
will be most swift and horrible,
I can assure you of that!
721
00:40:18,192 --> 00:40:21,111
Damn, Skridlow, talk some shit!
722
00:40:21,112 --> 00:40:22,988
I'm shivering.
723
00:40:22,989 --> 00:40:23,863
Now, come on, boys.
724
00:40:23,864 --> 00:40:26,950
Finish things up and then you can
bust junior up here for laughs.
725
00:40:26,951 --> 00:40:27,994
I warn you!
726
00:40:29,161 --> 00:40:33,958
I am extensively read in White
Crane Kung Fu... and Hapkido!
727
00:40:36,002 --> 00:40:38,211
Fresh, all right, get down Skridlow.
728
00:40:38,212 --> 00:40:40,880
Okay, okay, don't get
your balls in an uproar.
729
00:40:40,881 --> 00:40:42,549
- We can always talk.
- Well, then talk!
730
00:40:42,550 --> 00:40:44,426
Not to you.
To the boss.
731
00:40:44,427 --> 00:40:47,220
Me and Doctor Detroit, face to face.
732
00:40:47,221 --> 00:40:49,139
You and Doctor Detroit.
733
00:40:49,140 --> 00:40:51,182
Okay, fine.
I'll set up a meeting.
734
00:40:51,183 --> 00:40:52,017
All right.
735
00:40:52,018 --> 00:40:55,186
Between you and Doctor Detroit.
Tomorrow night.
736
00:40:55,187 --> 00:40:58,273
At the 126th Street Graveyard at midnight.
737
00:40:58,274 --> 00:40:59,983
Midnight?
The graveyard?
738
00:40:59,984 --> 00:41:00,817
What is this?
739
00:41:00,818 --> 00:41:02,777
That's kinda dramatic, ain't it?
740
00:41:02,778 --> 00:41:06,197
Well, that's my offer.
Take it or leave it.
741
00:41:06,198 --> 00:41:07,449
Bigfoot!
742
00:41:09,201 --> 00:41:10,577
Come on, come on now, cool it, cool it!
743
00:41:10,578 --> 00:41:12,954
Get down, Skridlow,
with your Hapkido self!
744
00:41:12,955 --> 00:41:15,081
Yeah, brother!
Show 'em what you can do!
745
00:41:15,082 --> 00:41:17,125
Well, that's it.
That's my offer.
746
00:41:17,126 --> 00:41:20,837
Tomorrow night, 126th
Street graveyard, midnight.
747
00:41:20,838 --> 00:41:23,131
No excuses, no substitutions.
748
00:41:23,132 --> 00:41:24,758
I don't talk to flunkies.
749
00:41:24,759 --> 00:41:27,594
I'll meet with your Doctor,
we'll settle this shit together.
750
00:41:27,595 --> 00:41:28,553
Well, then fine.
751
00:41:28,554 --> 00:41:32,015
If our business here is concluded,
I'll kindly ask you to leave.
752
00:41:32,016 --> 00:41:33,641
Leave!
753
00:41:33,642 --> 00:41:34,476
Okay.
754
00:41:34,477 --> 00:41:35,310
Get out!
755
00:41:35,311 --> 00:41:36,144
Tomorrow!
756
00:41:36,145 --> 00:41:36,978
Get out of here, all of you!
757
00:41:36,979 --> 00:41:37,812
Come on, boys, let's get out.
758
00:41:37,813 --> 00:41:39,814
Out with your Raus!
759
00:41:40,649 --> 00:41:41,483
Out!
760
00:41:41,484 --> 00:41:42,317
Scat!
761
00:41:42,318 --> 00:41:43,151
Begone!
762
00:41:43,152 --> 00:41:44,444
Raus!
763
00:41:44,445 --> 00:41:47,245
And don't let the door hit you in your
collective asses on the way out!
764
00:41:47,490 --> 00:41:48,490
All right, Skridlow!
765
00:41:48,491 --> 00:41:50,909
Get out, man, that Hapkido
shit came in handy, brother.
766
00:41:50,910 --> 00:41:51,785
Right on!
767
00:41:51,786 --> 00:41:53,244
Cliff, you were
wonderful, you were a hero!
768
00:41:53,245 --> 00:41:55,622
- Our knight in shining armor!
- So macho!
769
00:41:56,832 --> 00:41:57,707
You really think so?
770
00:41:57,708 --> 00:41:59,626
- Are you kidding?
- Yeah!
771
00:41:59,627 --> 00:42:02,670
Look, but what were they
saying earlier about you girls?
772
00:42:02,671 --> 00:42:03,671
I mean, could it possibly be...
773
00:42:03,672 --> 00:42:07,300
Come on, Cliff, you're a big boy.
It's a job, we're working girls.
774
00:42:07,301 --> 00:42:10,887
And believe me, honey,
we are the best.
775
00:42:10,888 --> 00:42:13,264
You're professionals.
776
00:42:13,265 --> 00:42:17,728
And Smooth was your p...
777
00:42:19,063 --> 00:42:21,398
Does that change anything, Cliff?
778
00:42:21,399 --> 00:42:22,941
All right, don't tell me any more.
779
00:42:22,942 --> 00:42:23,900
I will be your protector,
780
00:42:23,901 --> 00:42:27,695
but I won't be your manager,
your agent, nor your p...
781
00:42:27,696 --> 00:42:29,114
I can't even say it.
782
00:42:29,115 --> 00:42:31,533
Anyway, it won't be me,
it'll be Doctor Detroit.
783
00:42:31,534 --> 00:42:32,992
Now, for now we just maintain.
784
00:42:32,993 --> 00:42:35,829
We go on as before until Smooth returns.
785
00:42:35,830 --> 00:42:37,831
The Doctor will take care of everything.
786
00:42:37,832 --> 00:42:41,751
But above all, don't tell anybody about
Doctor Detroit, nor what I'm doing.
787
00:42:41,752 --> 00:42:42,710
Nobody.
788
00:42:42,711 --> 00:42:43,920
- No problem.
- Trust me, baby.
789
00:42:43,921 --> 00:42:45,547
Absolutely.
790
00:42:45,548 --> 00:42:48,258
This Doctor Detroit is bad, B-A-D, man.
791
00:42:48,259 --> 00:42:51,553
He's badder than Larry Holmes,
he's badder than Joe Frazier,
792
00:42:51,554 --> 00:42:54,055
badder than Ken Norton,
badder than Jerry Quarry.
793
00:42:54,056 --> 00:42:55,723
He's even badder than Mr. Clean!
794
00:42:55,724 --> 00:42:57,934
Mom, Mom!
It's all over the street!
795
00:42:57,935 --> 00:42:58,768
What?
796
00:42:58,769 --> 00:43:01,062
Doctor Detroit's moving in.
They say we're moving out.
797
00:43:01,063 --> 00:43:03,565
The hell you say.
I haven't even met the Doctor.
798
00:43:04,692 --> 00:43:05,692
But when I do...
799
00:43:07,403 --> 00:43:08,529
He's dog meat!
800
00:43:10,656 --> 00:43:13,491
I must do the decent thing.
801
00:43:13,492 --> 00:43:16,453
It's such an indecent profession.
802
00:43:16,454 --> 00:43:18,538
But you enjoyed it, though, didn't you?
803
00:43:18,539 --> 00:43:21,416
Yes, but I didn't have to pay.
804
00:43:21,417 --> 00:43:23,835
What about this Doctor Detroit?
805
00:43:23,836 --> 00:43:24,961
What about him?
806
00:43:24,962 --> 00:43:27,213
Somebody has to do the work.
807
00:43:27,214 --> 00:43:28,673
Better him than you.
808
00:43:28,674 --> 00:43:29,632
You?
809
00:43:29,633 --> 00:43:31,050
Me?
810
00:43:31,051 --> 00:43:33,011
Sleep on it.
811
00:43:33,012 --> 00:43:34,179
Yeah.
812
00:43:34,180 --> 00:43:35,639
Okay, sleep on it.
813
00:43:47,193 --> 00:43:48,026
Cliff?
814
00:43:48,027 --> 00:43:49,360
Shh!
815
00:43:49,361 --> 00:43:50,987
Be quiet.
816
00:43:50,988 --> 00:43:51,988
Jasmine?
817
00:43:53,073 --> 00:43:55,993
What are you doing here?
This is my room.
818
00:43:57,161 --> 00:43:59,829
Jasmine, where are you taking me?
I'm still half asleep.
819
00:43:59,830 --> 00:44:00,622
Quick, quick!
820
00:44:00,623 --> 00:44:04,043
Are you listening to me?
821
00:44:07,463 --> 00:44:11,382
Ooh, Ulysses S. Motherfucking Grant!
Welcome to the neighborhood, brother.
822
00:44:11,383 --> 00:44:12,300
Ooh!
823
00:44:12,301 --> 00:44:15,345
Cliff, check out this money, man!
Cash money, bro!
824
00:44:15,346 --> 00:44:18,181
I know, but...
But where did all this money come from?
825
00:44:18,182 --> 00:44:21,059
The old fashioned way.
We earned it.
826
00:44:21,060 --> 00:44:21,893
- But...
- And Cliffie, there are
827
00:44:21,894 --> 00:44:23,561
other fringe benefits.
828
00:44:23,562 --> 00:44:24,646
For example...
829
00:44:24,647 --> 00:44:27,148
Oriental baths.
Swedish massages.
830
00:44:27,149 --> 00:44:28,024
French lessons.
831
00:44:28,025 --> 00:44:29,817
I know how to speak...
832
00:44:29,818 --> 00:44:32,737
Exotic, erotic, juicy adventures.
833
00:44:32,738 --> 00:44:34,197
It's ridiculous.
834
00:44:34,198 --> 00:44:37,200
I mean, what would men of real
virtue do if they were in my position?
835
00:44:37,201 --> 00:44:40,401
I'll tell you one thing, they wouldn't
sit around wearing those pajamas, brother.
836
00:44:43,082 --> 00:44:47,752
Here's your hat, Daddy!
I picked it out especially for you.
837
00:44:47,753 --> 00:44:49,212
I'm dreaming.
838
00:44:49,213 --> 00:44:52,840
Wages of sin!
Give us the money and let us come in!
839
00:44:52,841 --> 00:44:57,095
Wages of sin, wages of sin!
Give us your money and let us come in!
840
00:44:57,096 --> 00:45:00,098
Judge not, sonny,
lest ye be judged!
841
00:45:00,099 --> 00:45:03,101
Mark well the wages of sin!
842
00:45:07,940 --> 00:45:08,940
Come home.
843
00:45:10,693 --> 00:45:12,318
Father, I want...
844
00:45:12,319 --> 00:45:17,449
I want you, your parental guidance!
I need moral support!
845
00:45:19,827 --> 00:45:23,372
Father, can't you do
anything to stop this?
846
00:45:25,124 --> 00:45:26,124
Hey!
847
00:45:36,844 --> 00:45:39,804
Clifford, I heard you had some money.
Give it to the college.
848
00:45:39,805 --> 00:45:42,932
No more bucks from Uncle Sam.
It's gotta come from someplace.
849
00:45:43,851 --> 00:45:46,728
It's filthy money!
It's money from depraved sources!
850
00:45:46,729 --> 00:45:49,897
See what money pleasure brings?
See what pleasure money brings?
851
00:45:49,898 --> 00:45:52,984
Thanks, my man.
I can see where you're coming from.
852
00:45:52,985 --> 00:45:54,068
She's all yours.
853
00:45:54,069 --> 00:45:55,695
This is fun!
854
00:45:55,696 --> 00:45:57,614
My mother's not for sale!
855
00:45:57,615 --> 00:46:01,784
But they're all for sale.
All for sale, all for sale...
856
00:46:01,785 --> 00:46:02,702
Not my mother!
857
00:46:02,703 --> 00:46:05,204
Not for the college, not for any money!
858
00:46:05,205 --> 00:46:07,749
Not for anybody!
Not for anything!
859
00:46:07,750 --> 00:46:09,125
Not my mother!
860
00:46:09,126 --> 00:46:10,251
Mother, stop, wait!
861
00:46:10,252 --> 00:46:12,795
All for sale, all for sale!
862
00:46:12,796 --> 00:46:15,089
Don't go, Mother!
Stop!
863
00:46:15,090 --> 00:46:16,800
Listen, Mother, stop!
864
00:46:27,227 --> 00:46:28,061
No!
865
00:46:28,062 --> 00:46:30,856
No, I will not sell my own mother!
866
00:46:33,442 --> 00:46:37,154
Of course you wouldn't, dear.
But it's a sweet thought.
867
00:46:47,206 --> 00:46:50,833
Anybody care to
comment on the concept of...
868
00:46:50,834 --> 00:46:52,920
- Death before dishonor?
- Look!
869
00:46:53,837 --> 00:46:54,671
Comments, anyone?
870
00:46:54,672 --> 00:46:56,048
She's pregnant!
871
00:46:57,257 --> 00:46:59,842
No?
Good.
872
00:46:59,843 --> 00:47:01,344
Come on, let's go.
873
00:47:03,847 --> 00:47:07,100
All right, see ya!
874
00:47:07,101 --> 00:47:09,352
I need to get some sleep.
875
00:47:09,353 --> 00:47:13,356
Edison used to nap in
his lab for two hours.
876
00:47:13,357 --> 00:47:16,484
Napoleon fought a war on four.
877
00:47:16,485 --> 00:47:20,405
Greater men than me have had less sleep.
878
00:47:23,534 --> 00:47:24,367
Son?
879
00:47:25,744 --> 00:47:28,204
Son, I'm glad you
stopped by before leaving.
880
00:47:28,205 --> 00:47:29,038
Leaving?
881
00:47:29,039 --> 00:47:30,373
Yeah, well you're going into the city.
882
00:47:30,374 --> 00:47:35,336
Harmon Rousehorn's train is arriving at 11:00
and you have to arrange for the caterers
883
00:47:35,337 --> 00:47:40,091
for the welcome dinner here tomorrow night
and you have to pick him up at the station.
884
00:47:40,092 --> 00:47:42,009
Here, take the Buick.
885
00:47:42,010 --> 00:47:45,096
And...
Get yourself together.
886
00:47:45,097 --> 00:47:46,306
You're a sight.
887
00:47:54,481 --> 00:47:56,649
Rousehorn, train.
888
00:47:56,650 --> 00:47:58,067
Edison, nap.
889
00:47:58,068 --> 00:47:58,901
Two hours.
890
00:47:58,902 --> 00:48:00,236
Yo, Skridlow, what's happening, man?
891
00:48:01,071 --> 00:48:03,781
- Hey, where you going, man?
- Talk, Khyber's.
892
00:48:03,782 --> 00:48:06,200
Union Station, train.
893
00:48:06,201 --> 00:48:07,535
Rousehorn.
894
00:48:07,536 --> 00:48:08,369
Sleep.
895
00:48:08,370 --> 00:48:09,412
What are you talking about, man?
896
00:48:09,413 --> 00:48:10,496
No, wait, man, you've got
a meeting with Mom tonight
897
00:48:10,497 --> 00:48:12,498
at some graveyard, remember?
898
00:48:12,499 --> 00:48:15,501
You made this date so you got to keep it.
899
00:48:15,502 --> 00:48:17,962
Where's Doctor Detroit, man?
900
00:48:17,963 --> 00:48:19,589
Where's Doctor Detroit?
901
00:48:19,590 --> 00:48:21,424
- Doctor Detroit?
- Yeah.
902
00:48:21,425 --> 00:48:22,801
Doctor Detroit!
903
00:48:27,598 --> 00:48:30,850
I'll make this phone call,
I'll take care of everything.
904
00:48:30,851 --> 00:48:31,851
Cool.
905
00:48:37,024 --> 00:48:38,691
Information.
What city, please?
906
00:48:38,692 --> 00:48:43,613
Yes, for the city of Chicago.
Number of Mom's Limousine Service.
907
00:48:43,614 --> 00:48:44,614
Thank you.
908
00:48:51,163 --> 00:48:53,624
Yes, I'd like to speak to Mom.
909
00:48:54,583 --> 00:48:58,085
Hello.
Yeah, yeah, this is Mom speaking.
910
00:49:02,508 --> 00:49:03,801
Hey, hello, Mom?
911
00:49:05,594 --> 00:49:09,431
This is the Doctor.
Doctor Detroit.
912
00:49:10,641 --> 00:49:13,559
Yeah, I'm sorry about the static.
913
00:49:13,560 --> 00:49:17,438
I'm on the mobile phone
in my car right now
914
00:49:17,439 --> 00:49:20,274
and I'm on my way down I-94.
915
00:49:20,275 --> 00:49:24,570
Yes, I came all the way down from Detroit
and I'm not very happy about it!
916
00:49:24,571 --> 00:49:25,613
Now, look, Mom.
917
00:49:25,614 --> 00:49:28,991
About our little meeting
tonight at midnight, I...
918
00:49:28,992 --> 00:49:30,452
It's not midnight.
919
00:49:31,453 --> 00:49:32,286
No.
920
00:49:32,287 --> 00:49:37,251
I know he said that,
but I can't make it at midnight.
921
00:49:37,459 --> 00:49:39,126
Of course it's short notice.
922
00:49:39,127 --> 00:49:40,378
Now, you look!
923
00:49:40,379 --> 00:49:42,046
I mean, look here...
924
00:49:42,047 --> 00:49:45,967
It's your little pink plump
rump in the ringer, not mine.
925
00:49:45,968 --> 00:49:47,718
So you make it nine o'clock or not.
926
00:49:47,719 --> 00:49:51,973
- Just bite it, buster!
- Yeah, well, you bite it yourself, Mom.
927
00:49:51,974 --> 00:49:53,140
Bye.
928
00:49:59,940 --> 00:50:02,400
Say, man, how you
gonna get away with this
929
00:50:02,401 --> 00:50:06,529
playing all that... shit?
930
00:50:06,530 --> 00:50:08,447
Fear not, Sancho.
931
00:50:08,448 --> 00:50:09,657
Say no more.
932
00:50:09,658 --> 00:50:13,703
Let's ask ourselves, what would
El Zorro do in a situation like this or
933
00:50:13,704 --> 00:50:15,329
Man of La Mancha?
934
00:50:15,330 --> 00:50:17,456
Strategy, purity, bravery.
935
00:50:17,457 --> 00:50:20,042
I am many.
I am one.
936
00:50:20,043 --> 00:50:22,461
Yeah, you one crazy
individual human being, man.
937
00:50:22,462 --> 00:50:24,046
Come on!
938
00:50:40,522 --> 00:50:42,273
Ooh, ooh, lift me up!
That, I want that!
939
00:50:42,274 --> 00:50:44,233
What do you want that thing for?
940
00:51:07,049 --> 00:51:10,844
Right, this is the
graveyard we agreed upon.
941
00:51:11,929 --> 00:51:15,223
Um, everybody just, stay in the car.
942
00:51:28,111 --> 00:51:30,363
From inside the jouster's tents,
943
00:51:30,364 --> 00:51:33,866
the sound of the armorers
accomplishing the knights,
944
00:51:33,867 --> 00:51:37,828
busy hammers closing rivets
up give dreadful note
945
00:51:37,829 --> 00:51:39,039
of preparation.
946
00:52:01,645 --> 00:52:04,814
- Damn, he won't show.
- Sure he will.
947
00:52:04,815 --> 00:52:08,359
I'll give that son of a bitch
just another five minutes.
948
00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:12,113
- And then what, Mom?
- Well, I'll wait some more.
949
00:52:12,114 --> 00:52:14,950
I've got all night to kill his ass.
950
00:53:24,352 --> 00:53:30,484
All right now.
Which one of you is Mom?
951
00:53:34,154 --> 00:53:37,823
Punctuality is a virtue, my good madame.
952
00:53:37,824 --> 00:53:39,784
Let's chew the fat.
953
00:53:39,785 --> 00:53:41,368
Just what's that supposed to mean?
954
00:53:41,369 --> 00:53:45,039
Nothing personal, Love Chunks,
but can we get to it?
955
00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:47,625
You know I hate to come
down from Wayne County.
956
00:53:47,626 --> 00:53:50,961
I have businesses in Lansing,
I have muffler shops, chicken chains.
957
00:53:50,962 --> 00:53:52,588
I got slums to collect the rent from.
958
00:53:52,589 --> 00:53:54,840
I have a chiropractic practice.
959
00:53:54,841 --> 00:53:58,427
I make adjustments
to the human spine.
960
00:53:58,428 --> 00:54:03,474
And this little trip has cut far too much
into my professional time.
961
00:54:03,475 --> 00:54:06,770
I figured that since you're
hustling my turf we should talk.
962
00:54:08,313 --> 00:54:09,606
I run this town.
963
00:54:12,901 --> 00:54:14,318
Lurking in the dark!
964
00:54:14,319 --> 00:54:16,737
Nasty things!
Come out!
965
00:54:16,738 --> 00:54:18,990
- Okay, fellas, come on!
- Come out!
966
00:54:23,203 --> 00:54:24,954
Come on out here, yeah, that's right.
967
00:54:24,955 --> 00:54:28,083
Out here where the Doctor can see you.
968
00:54:30,252 --> 00:54:32,253
Lighten up, come on,
Skridlow, be cool, man.
969
00:54:32,254 --> 00:54:33,879
Be cool, don't blow it, man.
970
00:54:33,880 --> 00:54:37,133
You wanna move in on me without
permission, without consideration?
971
00:54:37,134 --> 00:54:38,676
You gotta pay!
972
00:54:38,677 --> 00:54:40,720
The Doctor doesn't pay.
973
00:54:43,014 --> 00:54:43,848
That's it?
974
00:54:43,849 --> 00:54:47,935
The Doctor doesn't pay
and he doesn't worry.
975
00:54:47,936 --> 00:54:52,565
Now, Mom, if you want trouble,
I am talking about scorched earth!
976
00:54:52,566 --> 00:54:55,234
No survival!
Wholesale destruction!
977
00:54:55,235 --> 00:54:56,068
Calm down, Cliff.
978
00:54:56,069 --> 00:54:57,528
Please help me, God, I
wanna live, I wanna live.
979
00:54:57,529 --> 00:54:58,571
- Please bless me.
- My God.
980
00:54:58,572 --> 00:55:03,535
Body bags and fire, trouble,
then you just keep coming on!
981
00:55:03,702 --> 00:55:05,870
You don't know what
trouble is, jerk-off!
982
00:55:05,871 --> 00:55:10,959
Mom, I am going to rip off your head
and shit down your neck.
983
00:55:15,172 --> 00:55:17,298
Kill him!
984
00:55:24,806 --> 00:55:26,807
Get in the car, get after him!
You go there!
985
00:55:32,397 --> 00:55:33,230
Don't shoot!
986
00:55:33,231 --> 00:55:35,691
We were on our way to Leon's for
some ribs, man, and he was hitchhiking.
987
00:55:35,692 --> 00:55:37,359
We don't even know this
cat, man, he's crazy!
988
00:55:37,360 --> 00:55:38,360
Whoa!
989
00:55:41,865 --> 00:55:42,698
Get outta here!
990
00:55:42,699 --> 00:55:43,699
Go on!
991
00:55:44,826 --> 00:55:46,661
Hey guys!
Hey, stop!
992
00:55:49,539 --> 00:55:51,081
I...
993
00:55:51,082 --> 00:55:54,377
I'm Clifford Skridlow!
I teach school!
994
00:55:56,004 --> 00:55:59,298
I don't even know these girls!
I met them in a restaurant!
995
00:55:59,299 --> 00:56:00,758
I have nothing against you personally!
996
00:56:00,759 --> 00:56:03,470
Jesus, they're serious.
They're serious.
997
00:56:06,681 --> 00:56:07,973
My god!
998
00:56:07,974 --> 00:56:08,974
Yikes!
999
00:56:19,527 --> 00:56:20,527
Whoa!
1000
00:56:24,074 --> 00:56:25,074
Yeah!
1001
00:56:25,784 --> 00:56:28,328
Nothing can destroy the Doctor!
1002
00:56:29,412 --> 00:56:31,664
Hey, come on!
Get him, get him, get him!
1003
00:56:31,665 --> 00:56:34,208
Out of the way, knave!
1004
00:56:36,711 --> 00:56:39,506
The battle wages on!
Run for your lives! Run!
1005
00:56:41,007 --> 00:56:45,219
Mom, you'll never catch me!
Never!
1006
00:56:45,220 --> 00:56:47,096
Run away, run away!
1007
00:56:47,097 --> 00:56:50,474
Guys, we need those girls.
You need to stop him, come on!
1008
00:56:50,475 --> 00:56:53,812
God, what have I done to deserve this?
1009
00:57:12,330 --> 00:57:13,998
What the hell?
What the...
1010
00:57:13,999 --> 00:57:15,291
Hey, what the hell you doing?
1011
00:57:15,292 --> 00:57:17,252
I've got you now, Mom!
1012
00:57:18,795 --> 00:57:19,628
What the hell's...
1013
00:57:19,629 --> 00:57:23,090
- Going up, Love Chunks!
- Come on!
1014
00:57:23,091 --> 00:57:25,884
Yes, this one's on the Doctor.
1015
00:57:25,885 --> 00:57:27,469
I'm gonna get you,
I'm gonna get you!
1016
00:57:28,305 --> 00:57:29,138
Where are we going?
1017
00:57:29,139 --> 00:57:29,972
I hope it doesn't pinch.
1018
00:57:29,973 --> 00:57:31,640
Wait, no, come on!
This isn't funny!
1019
00:57:31,641 --> 00:57:32,474
Shut up, I don't wanna hear you anymore.
1020
00:57:32,475 --> 00:57:34,768
We can make deal!
Let's make a deal!
1021
00:57:34,769 --> 00:57:35,602
Come on, now!
1022
00:57:35,603 --> 00:57:37,563
- Mom!
- Let me down!
1023
00:57:37,564 --> 00:57:41,275
- Goodnight, Mom.
- This minute!
1024
00:57:46,740 --> 00:57:48,032
- Cliff!
- Come on!
1025
00:57:48,033 --> 00:57:49,242
Come on, quick!
1026
00:57:54,289 --> 00:57:58,876
Drive!
Nothing can stop us!
1027
00:57:58,877 --> 00:58:00,461
This'll stop 'em!
1028
00:58:00,462 --> 00:58:03,464
Charge!
Onward through the gates!
1029
00:58:21,399 --> 00:58:23,360
Onward to Union Station!
1030
00:58:28,823 --> 00:58:32,994
Arriving at Track 14
from St. Louis.
1031
00:58:50,720 --> 00:58:53,514
Well, he's got to be there, Harmon.
He left here hours ago.
1032
00:58:53,515 --> 00:58:57,101
- What's the matter, dear?
- Cliff is late and Rousehorn's pissed.
1033
00:58:57,102 --> 00:59:00,813
You're, you're missed, Harmon.
I said that we miss you very much.
1034
00:59:01,773 --> 00:59:05,150
Arthur, take it easy.
I'll be there.
1035
00:59:05,151 --> 00:59:09,029
- Mister, you want a taxi?
- Are you a taxi?
1036
00:59:09,030 --> 00:59:11,407
No, jerk-off, I'm a person,
but I do drive a taxi.
1037
00:59:11,408 --> 00:59:12,324
It's right outside.
1038
00:59:12,325 --> 00:59:14,743
- Can you take me to Monroe College?
- Sure thing.
1039
00:59:14,744 --> 00:59:17,455
- Hey, TJ, I got a customer.
- I'm coming!
1040
00:59:23,086 --> 00:59:29,675
Mr. Rousehorn!
Mr. Rousehorn!
1041
00:59:29,676 --> 00:59:30,843
Is there a
Rousehorn in the house?
1042
00:59:30,844 --> 00:59:32,137
Mr. Rousehorn!
1043
00:59:34,597 --> 00:59:36,723
Okay, let's try again now.
1044
00:59:36,724 --> 00:59:41,228
For the 200th time,
you got to the train station and?
1045
00:59:41,229 --> 00:59:43,522
And he wasn't there,
I looked everywhere.
1046
00:59:43,523 --> 00:59:44,690
Well, then where is he?
1047
00:59:44,691 --> 00:59:46,984
And where is the endowment
check for the college?
1048
00:59:46,985 --> 00:59:49,361
Father, I haven't the foggiest idea.
I really don't know.
1049
00:59:49,362 --> 00:59:51,113
Boys, you've been
through this all morning.
1050
00:59:51,114 --> 00:59:52,531
Now, darling, have some breakfast.
1051
00:59:52,532 --> 00:59:54,867
No, no, no, not until I
know that Rousehorn is safe
1052
00:59:54,868 --> 00:59:56,201
and that check is safe with him.
1053
00:59:56,202 --> 00:59:57,870
Margaret, I feel that
you don't understand.
1054
00:59:57,871 --> 01:00:00,122
We have no cash flow.
1055
01:00:00,123 --> 01:00:02,666
Without that check, we are over,
through, finished, forget it.
1056
01:00:02,667 --> 01:00:04,668
Eighty-sixed, no more,
history, color it gone.
1057
01:00:04,669 --> 01:00:07,171
Don't help. Don't...
Don't you help.
1058
01:00:08,006 --> 01:00:10,466
My God, no.
What is it?
1059
01:00:10,467 --> 01:00:12,802
Well, it's the police.
See, he's dead.
1060
01:00:14,345 --> 01:00:15,554
I hope they found the check.
1061
01:00:15,555 --> 01:00:17,764
It's all right, darling.
Everything's going to be fine.
1062
01:00:17,765 --> 01:00:18,808
Come on, now.
1063
01:00:25,148 --> 01:00:28,609
Harmon?
My heavens, what happened?
1064
01:00:28,610 --> 01:00:30,486
Well, thank God you're safe!
1065
01:00:30,487 --> 01:00:33,614
He said he was on his way here,
so this is where we brought him.
1066
01:00:33,615 --> 01:00:35,407
You need some hot tea.
1067
01:00:35,408 --> 01:00:37,659
I kept the case.
The check is safe.
1068
01:00:38,495 --> 01:00:39,328
I need a shower.
1069
01:00:39,329 --> 01:00:41,121
I'm sorry, sir, but I've got
to have that blanket back.
1070
01:00:41,122 --> 01:00:43,290
That's a city blanket, I signed for it.
1071
01:00:43,291 --> 01:00:46,668
Well, listen, there's no
need to linger out here.
1072
01:00:46,669 --> 01:00:50,172
Welcome to Monroe,
you're in the guest room.
1073
01:00:50,173 --> 01:00:52,466
All I know is I need a shower.
1074
01:00:52,467 --> 01:00:54,343
Well, you're certainly dressed for one.
1075
01:00:54,344 --> 01:00:57,429
Now, tell me all about it.
How did they get your pants off?
1076
01:00:57,430 --> 01:00:59,848
- One leg at a time.
- Of course.
1077
01:00:59,849 --> 01:01:03,727
Did they molest you, did you struggle?
I want all the details.
1078
01:01:03,728 --> 01:01:08,482
Only a benevolent deity could have
prevented him from losing that check.
1079
01:01:08,483 --> 01:01:11,318
Now, after dinner he is
gonna feel so much better.
1080
01:01:11,319 --> 01:01:14,029
- What time are the caterers coming here?
- Caterer.
1081
01:01:14,030 --> 01:01:15,989
The caterers.
For the welcome dinner.
1082
01:01:15,990 --> 01:01:18,492
Here, tonight, Rousehorn,
half the faculty.
1083
01:01:18,493 --> 01:01:19,826
Indian food, the Khyber restaurant.
1084
01:01:19,827 --> 01:01:20,661
Don't you dare tell me
that you neglected...
1085
01:01:20,662 --> 01:01:21,495
No!
1086
01:01:21,496 --> 01:01:22,955
No, no, no, no, everything's
totally under control, Dad!
1087
01:01:22,956 --> 01:01:24,957
Everything's totally and
absolutely under control,
1088
01:01:24,958 --> 01:01:28,627
catering, the chapatis, papadums, raita...
1089
01:01:29,462 --> 01:01:31,338
Ha, got the curry, not to worry.
1090
01:01:31,339 --> 01:01:32,339
Bye!
1091
01:01:35,093 --> 01:01:39,471
Look out, gentleman, please!
Excuse me, coming through here!
1092
01:01:39,472 --> 01:01:42,849
Gangway!
Coming through, coming through!
1093
01:01:42,850 --> 01:01:44,227
Please, look out!
1094
01:01:45,395 --> 01:01:49,022
- Cliff, what is it?
- Catering! The Khyber restaurant.
1095
01:01:49,023 --> 01:01:51,525
I did not do it.
I had to do it and I didn't do it
1096
01:01:51,526 --> 01:01:53,735
in the seconds and minutes
and hours, it's not done!
1097
01:01:53,736 --> 01:01:57,614
All right, now just wait a minute,
now, look, just relax, okay?
1098
01:01:57,615 --> 01:01:58,907
Now, what is the problem?
1099
01:01:58,908 --> 01:02:02,286
I lost Rousehorn, I've got
these term papers to correct.
1100
01:02:02,287 --> 01:02:05,038
The college is on the verge of bankruptcy.
1101
01:02:05,039 --> 01:02:07,916
My eyes can't focus,
my tongue tastes like a skidmark,
1102
01:02:07,917 --> 01:02:08,875
I need some sleep.
1103
01:02:08,876 --> 01:02:11,253
Okay, all right.
So you sleep, okay?
1104
01:02:11,254 --> 01:02:13,213
Edison survived on two
hours of sleep a night.
1105
01:02:13,214 --> 01:02:14,881
He took catnaps in his lab.
1106
01:02:14,882 --> 01:02:16,925
That's right.
1107
01:02:16,926 --> 01:02:18,427
All right.
1108
01:02:18,428 --> 01:02:20,804
Catnaps, Edison.
1109
01:02:20,805 --> 01:02:23,265
Two hours I'm gonna...
1110
01:02:23,266 --> 01:02:24,683
I'm gonna sleep.
1111
01:02:24,684 --> 01:02:26,310
This is good.
1112
01:02:26,311 --> 01:02:27,311
Sleep.
1113
01:02:28,771 --> 01:02:30,188
What do you think I should
do about these papers?
1114
01:02:30,189 --> 01:02:31,023
Give them all a B.
1115
01:02:31,024 --> 01:02:33,525
That's all they deserve anyway.
1116
01:02:33,526 --> 01:02:35,402
- Yello?
- Hello, Karen?
1117
01:02:35,403 --> 01:02:37,529
Hi, Monica, what's up?
1118
01:02:37,530 --> 01:02:39,531
What?
He needs catering?
1119
01:02:39,532 --> 01:02:42,868
Arrangements?
Honey, catering is my middle name!
1120
01:02:42,869 --> 01:02:46,246
Karen "Catering" Blittstein.
Sure.
1121
01:02:46,247 --> 01:02:49,625
I put two sisters through
gorgeous, gorgeous weddings
1122
01:02:49,626 --> 01:02:51,209
and I'm not talking no cocktail franks
1123
01:02:51,210 --> 01:02:52,919
and miniature knishes, neither.
1124
01:02:52,920 --> 01:02:57,257
Karen, shush!
Will you just take care of it?
1125
01:02:57,258 --> 01:03:00,052
I'll get there as soon as I can.
Okay, bye, I love you.
1126
01:03:00,053 --> 01:03:01,762
- Shit.
- What?
1127
01:03:01,763 --> 01:03:05,725
I don't have time to cook!
I'm gonna have to improvise something.
1128
01:03:08,645 --> 01:03:10,604
This is refreshing medication.
1129
01:03:10,605 --> 01:03:14,566
Now, then,
that Harold Robbins Chair.
1130
01:03:14,567 --> 01:03:16,985
It's quite an endowment?
1131
01:03:16,986 --> 01:03:20,280
More than a penny and
less than the national debt.
1132
01:03:21,115 --> 01:03:23,617
Now then, like what
amount are we talking...
1133
01:03:23,618 --> 01:03:25,577
I mean, I don't mean
for you to be specific,
1134
01:03:25,578 --> 01:03:27,579
I mean just generally, you know,
in round numbers.
1135
01:03:27,580 --> 01:03:29,790
What amount are we talking about?
Just about...
1136
01:03:29,791 --> 01:03:31,917
For that, Arthur, you'll
have to wait until tomorrow.
1137
01:03:32,752 --> 01:03:34,086
I want to treasure the
look on everyone's face
1138
01:03:34,087 --> 01:03:36,630
when our corporate
generosity is made public.
1139
01:03:36,631 --> 01:03:39,925
Absolutely, I couldn't agree more.
1140
01:03:41,511 --> 01:03:43,929
Help!
1141
01:03:43,930 --> 01:03:45,514
I'm buried alive!
1142
01:03:46,933 --> 01:03:48,142
Let me out!
1143
01:03:56,526 --> 01:03:57,359
Hello.
1144
01:03:57,360 --> 01:03:58,193
Cliff, where are you?
1145
01:03:58,194 --> 01:03:59,027
It's 7:30!
1146
01:03:59,028 --> 01:03:59,861
What?
1147
01:03:59,862 --> 01:04:00,696
- What time is it?
- 7:30!
1148
01:04:00,697 --> 01:04:01,530
It is?
1149
01:04:01,531 --> 01:04:02,364
Yes!
1150
01:04:02,365 --> 01:04:03,198
I'm coming.
1151
01:04:03,199 --> 01:04:04,032
Hurry up, get over here!
1152
01:04:04,033 --> 01:04:06,034
I'll be right there, I'm gone!
1153
01:04:10,498 --> 01:04:12,833
Son!
Son, before you change your clothes.
1154
01:04:12,834 --> 01:04:16,002
- Skridlow.
- Hello, Fulsom, how are you?
1155
01:04:16,003 --> 01:04:17,587
That boy just work,
work, work, won't you,
1156
01:04:17,588 --> 01:04:19,464
Harmon, you don't know
my son, Clifford, do you?
1157
01:04:19,465 --> 01:04:22,676
He's one of the bright stars
of our English department.
1158
01:04:22,677 --> 01:04:24,928
We've met.
Not on time, but we've met.
1159
01:04:26,055 --> 01:04:26,930
This morning, Father, remember?
1160
01:04:26,931 --> 01:04:28,932
I'm so sorry about last night, Harmon,
1161
01:04:28,933 --> 01:04:30,976
er, Mr. Rousehorn, about
missing your train, I...
1162
01:04:30,977 --> 01:04:31,977
It's in the past.
1163
01:04:31,978 --> 01:04:34,020
It is totally forgotten and forgiven.
1164
01:04:34,021 --> 01:04:35,230
Let's just say it's in the past.
1165
01:04:35,231 --> 01:04:39,401
I just know this is
gonna be a lively evening!
1166
01:04:39,402 --> 01:04:43,280
Clifford, those girls are wonderful.
1167
01:04:43,281 --> 01:04:45,907
You certainly have
everything under control.
1168
01:04:45,908 --> 01:04:47,409
Girls?
1169
01:04:47,410 --> 01:04:49,703
I think I'll take the red caviar
and put it on the round cracker.
1170
01:04:49,704 --> 01:04:50,954
You think they'll like that, honey?
1171
01:04:50,955 --> 01:04:53,081
What's going on here?
What is this?
1172
01:04:53,082 --> 01:04:53,999
I mean, do you have any idea
1173
01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:56,793
how college faculty members
eat on what we get paid?
1174
01:04:56,794 --> 01:04:58,920
A free meal is like honey
to a bear to these people!
1175
01:04:58,921 --> 01:05:01,256
They're going to want to
eat enough to hibernate on.
1176
01:05:01,257 --> 01:05:02,466
They're animals!
1177
01:05:02,467 --> 01:05:05,427
I mean, where are we gonna get
enough Indian food to feed all of 'em?
1178
01:05:05,428 --> 01:05:08,805
Swami Diavolo's finger-lickin' Hindu
fried chicken, my friend Skridlow.
1179
01:05:08,806 --> 01:05:12,434
The rest, as my people say,
is up to karma. Don't worry, Cliffie.
1180
01:05:12,435 --> 01:05:14,436
Jesus Christ, Karen,
you said this was curry.
1181
01:05:14,437 --> 01:05:15,270
This is not curry...
1182
01:05:15,271 --> 01:05:18,190
Thelma, it will be.
Will you calm down? Okay.
1183
01:05:18,191 --> 01:05:21,526
Cliff, go upstairs and shower and change
and put something on that's nice.
1184
01:05:21,527 --> 01:05:23,195
Look a little GQ, would you?
1185
01:05:23,196 --> 01:05:25,238
Monica, go outside and
schmooze with the people.
1186
01:05:25,239 --> 01:05:26,156
Right, Sarge.
1187
01:05:26,157 --> 01:05:28,074
Okay, Thelma, come here
now, I'm gonna show you.
1188
01:05:28,075 --> 01:05:31,161
Take the olive and the pimento,
make happy faces, okay?
1189
01:05:31,162 --> 01:05:33,747
- I like that.
- Good, okay, here we go.
1190
01:05:33,748 --> 01:05:35,874
Well, of course, that was in the
Herbert Hoover administration,
1191
01:05:35,875 --> 01:05:40,378
which in some ways
is similar to what we have today!
1192
01:05:40,379 --> 01:05:42,672
Margaret, I fail to
see any similarity at all...
1193
01:05:42,673 --> 01:05:45,550
She's just kidding, Henry.
She's a real kidder.
1194
01:05:45,551 --> 01:05:48,929
And I was reduced to my underwear.
It's been downhill ever since.
1195
01:05:48,930 --> 01:05:51,097
My goodness.
1196
01:05:51,098 --> 01:05:53,642
You know, you look very
tired, Mr. Rousehorn.
1197
01:05:53,643 --> 01:05:55,393
You know, wealth and power have a way
1198
01:05:55,394 --> 01:05:58,730
of robbing a man of his
energies, don't they?
1199
01:05:58,731 --> 01:06:04,152
That's very perceptive of you, Monica.
Very perceptive.
1200
01:06:04,153 --> 01:06:07,906
- I hear we're having Indian food.
- I certainly hope so.
1201
01:06:07,907 --> 01:06:09,074
Chapatis?
1202
01:06:09,075 --> 01:06:12,035
Well, I... I guess they've got
a few of those laid in, I...
1203
01:06:12,036 --> 01:06:14,704
Hello, won't you excuse us, please?
You happy, gorgeous boy?
1204
01:06:14,705 --> 01:06:18,375
We're having some nice affair here.
Hi, how are you? Nice to see you.
1205
01:06:18,376 --> 01:06:20,252
It seems fine, but I'm really
worried about the meal, Karen, I...
1206
01:06:20,253 --> 01:06:22,045
Wait till you see the entertainment.
1207
01:06:22,046 --> 01:06:22,879
What?
1208
01:06:22,880 --> 01:06:25,632
Jasmine!
Enter!
1209
01:06:34,517 --> 01:06:35,517
Hi, Cliff!
1210
01:06:52,285 --> 01:06:53,285
My!
1211
01:06:54,453 --> 01:06:55,996
Ooh.
1212
01:06:59,417 --> 01:07:01,334
She's, she's...
1213
01:07:01,335 --> 01:07:02,252
She's terrific.
1214
01:07:02,253 --> 01:07:03,253
Come on.
1215
01:07:05,339 --> 01:07:06,882
You're ready!
1216
01:07:06,883 --> 01:07:07,674
I'm ready.
1217
01:07:07,675 --> 01:07:09,843
Okay, you set?
1218
01:07:09,844 --> 01:07:10,677
We're set.
1219
01:07:10,678 --> 01:07:12,178
All right, fire!
1220
01:07:12,179 --> 01:07:14,389
Be careful, now.
Too much!
1221
01:07:14,390 --> 01:07:16,683
There's a fire!
Fire, don't panic!
1222
01:07:16,684 --> 01:07:18,351
What are you doing?
Stop it!
1223
01:07:19,186 --> 01:07:22,397
- Skridlow, what are you doing, man?
- Stop this, please, Cliff!
1224
01:07:22,398 --> 01:07:25,150
Leave the arrangements to me, would you?
1225
01:07:25,151 --> 01:07:27,068
This shit is so unique,
they're gonna love it!
1226
01:07:27,069 --> 01:07:29,070
They're gonna love this shit, I know it!
1227
01:07:30,740 --> 01:07:31,573
I panicked, I'm sorry, I panicked.
1228
01:07:31,574 --> 01:07:33,774
It's okay, it's okay, just
none of us eat it, all right?
1229
01:07:46,255 --> 01:07:48,924
Your dinner is now served.
1230
01:07:48,925 --> 01:07:50,634
Come on, everybody!
1231
01:07:59,769 --> 01:08:01,478
Not bad!
1232
01:08:01,479 --> 01:08:03,063
Beats fruit cup.
1233
01:08:03,064 --> 01:08:07,651
Isn't it marvelous having so many
educated palates all in one place?
1234
01:08:07,652 --> 01:08:09,527
- Is she Indian?
- I think so.
1235
01:08:09,528 --> 01:08:11,947
Mahatma Gandhi never had it so good.
1236
01:08:11,948 --> 01:08:15,033
Truly. 'Course, he wasn't
that big an eater anyway.
1237
01:08:15,034 --> 01:08:18,078
That's funny.
1238
01:08:18,079 --> 01:08:24,085
Ooh, sahib, follow me, brother.
Muhammad Ali, Allah.
1239
01:08:25,628 --> 01:08:27,963
This is great.
This is tremendous, they're buying it!
1240
01:08:27,964 --> 01:08:29,839
You pulled it off.
I can't thank you enough.
1241
01:08:29,840 --> 01:08:32,634
Hey, no problem, Skridlow,
but thank me in the car, okay, man?
1242
01:08:32,635 --> 01:08:33,635
What do you mean in the car?
1243
01:08:33,636 --> 01:08:35,053
Well, we have to go into town now, man.
1244
01:08:35,054 --> 01:08:35,887
What?
1245
01:08:35,888 --> 01:08:38,181
Not me, I'm not going anywhere.
I haven't slept in days, Diavolo.
1246
01:08:38,182 --> 01:08:40,558
Hey, listen, Cliff, we
don't have much time, okay?
1247
01:08:40,559 --> 01:08:43,603
The word is on the street.
You have to make an appearance.
1248
01:08:43,604 --> 01:08:46,690
'Cause the Doctor goes
public in about one hour.
1249
01:08:46,691 --> 01:08:47,899
Are you crazy?
1250
01:08:47,900 --> 01:08:51,403
No, man, you're crazy.
You invented the dude, not me.
1251
01:08:51,404 --> 01:08:55,199
So I guess I'll catch
you in the car, brother.
1252
01:09:02,123 --> 01:09:03,081
Come on.
1253
01:09:03,082 --> 01:09:06,292
Everyone's talking about
how you stopped Mom.
1254
01:09:06,293 --> 01:09:08,712
Doctor Detroit has to
be on the scene, right?
1255
01:09:08,713 --> 01:09:09,796
- He has to.
- Right.
1256
01:09:09,797 --> 01:09:10,797
That's the end of it.
1257
01:09:10,798 --> 01:09:14,300
Say, man, now put this shit on.
Props in the bag.
1258
01:09:14,301 --> 01:09:16,262
Terrific, the bag.
1259
01:09:17,972 --> 01:09:18,972
I must say, though, ladies,
1260
01:09:18,973 --> 01:09:22,100
you have given me the most
extraordinary week of my life.
1261
01:09:22,101 --> 01:09:23,143
Sweetie.
1262
01:09:23,144 --> 01:09:23,977
Really.
1263
01:09:23,978 --> 01:09:25,770
Aw, man, you know, you're
gonna do good out here
1264
01:09:25,771 --> 01:09:28,773
in the city with that
wig and that metal hand.
1265
01:09:28,774 --> 01:09:30,942
Lime green pants.
1266
01:09:30,943 --> 01:09:31,943
Duty.
1267
01:09:33,446 --> 01:09:34,279
Honor.
1268
01:09:34,280 --> 01:09:36,156
And responsibility.
1269
01:09:36,157 --> 01:09:38,367
Hey, be the Doctor, baby.
1270
01:09:52,423 --> 01:09:54,632
Doctor, my man!
Give me five, man.
1271
01:09:54,633 --> 01:09:56,885
I'll give you 20 and
you can keep the change.
1272
01:09:56,886 --> 01:09:58,970
You're too much, man, too much, yeah.
1273
01:09:58,971 --> 01:10:00,430
See you at the Player's Ball, my man?
1274
01:10:00,431 --> 01:10:03,433
All right, all right.
1275
01:10:03,434 --> 01:10:05,226
That was great, that was great.
1276
01:10:05,227 --> 01:10:06,061
What's the Player's Ball?
1277
01:10:06,062 --> 01:10:07,729
Nothing, nothing.
Be cool, be cool.
1278
01:10:07,730 --> 01:10:08,563
Hi!
1279
01:10:08,564 --> 01:10:11,191
My man Doctor Detroit! I heard you
wiped Mom out. How did you do it?
1280
01:10:11,192 --> 01:10:13,526
You might say I
rearranged her front end.
1281
01:10:13,527 --> 01:10:14,652
Set it out!
1282
01:10:14,653 --> 01:10:16,321
You know you're gonna be
king of the Player's Ball.
1283
01:10:16,322 --> 01:10:18,073
Ain't no doubt about it.
1284
01:10:18,074 --> 01:10:19,199
Beautiful.
1285
01:10:20,201 --> 01:10:21,367
Terrific.
1286
01:10:21,368 --> 01:10:24,037
All right, what is the Player's Ball
they keep talking about?
1287
01:10:24,038 --> 01:10:26,039
It's tomorrow night, honey,
that's okay I'll protect you.
1288
01:10:26,040 --> 01:10:29,375
Tomorrow night I have a prior
engagement. I can't go, I can't go.
1289
01:10:29,376 --> 01:10:31,002
No, where is it?
1290
01:10:31,003 --> 01:10:32,962
Somebody picks a place
and we all show up there.
1291
01:10:32,963 --> 01:10:33,797
Right.
1292
01:10:33,798 --> 01:10:36,674
It's a subcultural event, sweetheart,
it's our responsibility to be there.
1293
01:10:36,675 --> 01:10:38,835
I can't be there, I can't.
I just can't, I can't...
1294
01:10:40,387 --> 01:10:41,221
Grab him!
1295
01:10:41,222 --> 01:10:42,097
Cliff, what is...
1296
01:10:42,098 --> 01:10:44,224
Open your eyes now.
1297
01:10:44,225 --> 01:10:45,850
Give him air, give him air.
1298
01:10:45,851 --> 01:10:48,520
Tomorrow night is the
college alumni dinner.
1299
01:10:48,521 --> 01:10:49,354
Where?
1300
01:10:49,355 --> 01:10:51,189
At the Excelsior Hotel
and I have to be there.
1301
01:10:51,190 --> 01:10:53,358
Now, I don't know where or
what your Player's Ball is,
1302
01:10:53,359 --> 01:10:56,152
but I simply cannot be
in two places at once.
1303
01:10:56,153 --> 01:10:58,655
Yes, you can. Yes, you can,
we'll take care of everything.
1304
01:10:58,656 --> 01:10:59,572
Right.
1305
01:10:59,573 --> 01:11:01,491
Now, how are we gonna do that?
1306
01:11:01,492 --> 01:11:02,909
Shh!
1307
01:11:02,910 --> 01:11:03,743
Loosen his built.
1308
01:11:03,744 --> 01:11:07,456
Karen, get your
mind out of the gutter.
1309
01:11:10,501 --> 01:11:12,544
Jesus Christ, do you
think this is gonna work?
1310
01:11:12,545 --> 01:11:13,378
Sure, it'll work.
1311
01:11:13,379 --> 01:11:14,838
- Sure.
- Okay.
1312
01:11:14,839 --> 01:11:16,631
Yeah, it's Eddie here.
Your dime, go ahead.
1313
01:11:16,632 --> 01:11:18,299
- Yo, Eddie.
- Yeah?
1314
01:11:18,300 --> 01:11:19,968
What's happening?
It's Diavolo.
1315
01:11:19,969 --> 01:11:20,802
Go ahead, Diavolo.
1316
01:11:20,803 --> 01:11:24,514
Listen, Eddie, if the Doctor is king, then he picks
and chooses the place he wants to be crowned.
1317
01:11:24,515 --> 01:11:26,266
Well, it's gonna go down.
This is it, right?
1318
01:11:27,101 --> 01:11:27,934
Don't jive me, man.
1319
01:11:27,935 --> 01:11:31,896
Well, listen, I'll tell you where
it's gonna be. The Excelsior Hotel.
1320
01:11:31,897 --> 01:11:33,731
- Excelsior Hotel.
- That's downtown.
1321
01:11:33,732 --> 01:11:34,566
Is that right?
1322
01:11:34,567 --> 01:11:36,234
I'm pretty sure you're familiar
with that area, brother.
1323
01:11:36,235 --> 01:11:38,570
- Well, I'll ask around, man.
- Yeah.
1324
01:11:38,571 --> 01:11:39,404
Later on.
1325
01:11:39,405 --> 01:11:41,072
- The Doctor will be there.
- He better be.
1326
01:11:41,073 --> 01:11:42,699
Later.
1327
01:11:42,700 --> 01:11:43,700
All right!
1328
01:11:44,368 --> 01:11:45,493
The Doctor's A-Team.
1329
01:11:45,494 --> 01:11:48,204
First class, top of the line.
Come on, let's get ready.
1330
01:12:04,138 --> 01:12:07,849
It looks like a fun crowd this year.
1331
01:12:07,850 --> 01:12:10,518
You scratched
my car, motherfucker!
1332
01:12:10,519 --> 01:12:11,896
Insurance my ass!
1333
01:12:13,606 --> 01:12:15,482
Psst, psst, Skridlow!
1334
01:12:18,652 --> 01:12:21,487
What the hell is going on?
1335
01:12:21,488 --> 01:12:22,864
Mother!
1336
01:12:22,865 --> 01:12:23,865
Let's...
1337
01:12:23,866 --> 01:12:24,866
Shall we?
1338
01:12:25,784 --> 01:12:29,370
Psst, psst, psst, Skridlow!
1339
01:12:29,371 --> 01:12:32,750
There's Swami Diavolo, the caterer!
1340
01:12:34,376 --> 01:12:37,629
Mother that's not him,
that's someone else entirely.
1341
01:12:37,630 --> 01:12:38,588
I have never before...
1342
01:12:38,589 --> 01:12:40,298
They never have a mob here, I...
1343
01:12:40,299 --> 01:12:41,299
Really?
1344
01:12:43,093 --> 01:12:46,805
Well, when you've got
a woman mayor, you...
1345
01:12:56,523 --> 01:12:58,149
Doctor ooh-ooh!
1346
01:12:58,150 --> 01:12:59,901
Doctor Detroit!
1347
01:12:59,902 --> 01:13:01,736
Doctor ooh-ooh!
1348
01:13:01,737 --> 01:13:03,696
Doctor Detroit!
1349
01:13:03,697 --> 01:13:05,490
Doctor ooh-ooh!
1350
01:13:05,491 --> 01:13:07,408
Doctor Detroit!
1351
01:13:07,409 --> 01:13:09,035
Doctor ooh-ooh!
1352
01:13:09,036 --> 01:13:10,536
What's going on in here?
1353
01:13:10,537 --> 01:13:11,537
Doctor Detroit!
1354
01:13:11,538 --> 01:13:12,956
Doctor ooh-ooh!
1355
01:13:12,957 --> 01:13:13,915
Doctor!
1356
01:13:13,916 --> 01:13:16,252
Nothing for us, Mother.
1357
01:13:17,378 --> 01:13:21,215
What on earth is this?
What's going on?
1358
01:13:22,883 --> 01:13:23,883
Um...
1359
01:13:24,593 --> 01:13:25,718
Excuse me!
1360
01:13:25,719 --> 01:13:27,387
Yo, Skridlow!
Hey, man, I gotta talk to you.
1361
01:13:27,388 --> 01:13:28,221
Excuse me!
1362
01:13:28,222 --> 01:13:29,055
We gotta get...
1363
01:13:29,056 --> 01:13:29,889
Excuse me...
1364
01:13:29,890 --> 01:13:31,474
Clifford, I see that your friend is here.
1365
01:13:31,475 --> 01:13:33,184
Does that mean that you'll
be leaving us again?
1366
01:13:33,185 --> 01:13:34,310
No, absolutely not.
1367
01:13:34,311 --> 01:13:39,649
My duty is to my home, my family,
the college, my job, and to you, sir.
1368
01:13:39,650 --> 01:13:42,610
He is upsetting the guests.
Will you get him out of here?
1369
01:13:42,611 --> 01:13:43,695
Sorry.
1370
01:13:43,696 --> 01:13:47,907
Sue and Lloyd Miller, can
you believe this noise?
1371
01:13:47,908 --> 01:13:48,741
You can't even think!
1372
01:13:48,742 --> 01:13:50,493
Diavolo, you have to get out of here.
You're going to ruin everything.
1373
01:13:50,494 --> 01:13:51,953
Cliff, I got to talk to you.
1374
01:13:51,954 --> 01:13:52,829
Hey, man, watch out, man.
1375
01:13:52,830 --> 01:13:53,663
- You been drinkin'?
- All right, all right.
1376
01:13:53,664 --> 01:13:55,039
Hey, man, listen.
1377
01:13:55,040 --> 01:13:58,376
You hear those people over there?
They wanna see the Doctor.
1378
01:13:58,377 --> 01:14:01,212
I can't do it.
I can't leave.
1379
01:14:01,213 --> 01:14:03,965
I've got to introduce Rousehorn.
He's going to give money to the college.
1380
01:14:03,966 --> 01:14:05,717
Cliff, you've got to, man.
1381
01:14:05,718 --> 01:14:08,177
There are four beautiful
women depending on you.
1382
01:14:08,178 --> 01:14:10,263
The Doctor has got to be there.
1383
01:14:10,264 --> 01:14:11,931
Look, there is no Doctor!
1384
01:14:11,932 --> 01:14:15,394
There is if you believe in him, brother.
1385
01:14:18,022 --> 01:14:20,565
All right.
Quick, before I change my mind.
1386
01:14:20,566 --> 01:14:24,152
Straight through the
kitchen door, now hurry up.
1387
01:14:24,153 --> 01:14:26,029
Come on, man, put the hair on.
To the right, to the right.
1388
01:14:26,030 --> 01:14:28,156
If my parents ever see
me they'll disown me.
1389
01:14:28,157 --> 01:14:30,783
Check out the lining in this jacket,
man! You might as well wear it inside out.
1390
01:14:30,784 --> 01:14:32,328
Do the pants match?
1391
01:14:33,746 --> 01:14:35,538
No, they won't work,
the lining's purple!
1392
01:14:35,539 --> 01:14:36,497
Looks just fine.
1393
01:14:36,498 --> 01:14:37,332
Come on.
1394
01:14:37,333 --> 01:14:38,667
Come on, move it!
1395
01:14:41,545 --> 01:14:42,378
Move it, man, come on!
1396
01:14:42,379 --> 01:14:43,212
This is so insane.
1397
01:14:43,213 --> 01:14:46,799
I don't know how you made me do this.
1398
01:14:46,800 --> 01:14:48,343
Those underwear look nice, man.
1399
01:14:48,344 --> 01:14:50,887
How about these tuxedo pants?
They were Grandpa Skridlow's.
1400
01:14:50,888 --> 01:14:51,846
He had sensitive legs.
1401
01:14:51,847 --> 01:14:53,389
He had to have satin near
his skin at all times.
1402
01:14:53,390 --> 01:14:54,974
Yeah, let's move, let's move.
1403
01:14:54,975 --> 01:14:56,768
Doing just fine.
1404
01:14:56,769 --> 01:14:58,353
The glasses, the glasses, where...
1405
01:14:58,354 --> 01:15:00,021
You got 'em.
You got 'em right here.
1406
01:15:00,022 --> 01:15:01,898
Hey, you boys get
out of the kitchen?
1407
01:15:01,899 --> 01:15:03,524
Doctor Detroit!
1408
01:15:03,525 --> 01:15:05,401
Doctor ooh-ooh!
1409
01:15:05,402 --> 01:15:07,236
Doctor Detroit!
1410
01:15:07,237 --> 01:15:09,155
Doctor ooh-ooh!
1411
01:15:09,156 --> 01:15:10,740
Doctor Detroit!
1412
01:15:10,741 --> 01:15:11,908
Say, JB, the Doctor has arrived.
1413
01:15:11,909 --> 01:15:13,076
Ooh-ooh!
1414
01:15:13,077 --> 01:15:14,494
Doctor Detroit!
1415
01:15:17,289 --> 01:15:20,208
Ladies and gentlemen, players and
ladies, high lifers and lowlifes,
1416
01:15:20,209 --> 01:15:25,254
all you trash with cash,
allow me to announce the Doctor is in!
1417
01:17:47,523 --> 01:17:48,731
Thank you.
1418
01:17:48,732 --> 01:17:53,277
I'm so, so very touched and pleased
to be honored in this way,
1419
01:17:53,278 --> 01:17:56,656
but unfortunately, I have business
in another part of the hotel,
1420
01:17:56,657 --> 01:17:58,616
a prior commitment, actually.
1421
01:17:58,617 --> 01:18:01,744
A small chiropractic service
I was supposed to perform.
1422
01:18:03,789 --> 01:18:04,914
But...
1423
01:18:04,915 --> 01:18:08,960
If anybody is a king here
tonight, it is this man,
1424
01:18:08,961 --> 01:18:10,795
Mr. Try Me,
Mr. Please Please Please,
1425
01:18:10,796 --> 01:18:12,547
Mr. This Is A Man's World.
1426
01:18:12,548 --> 01:18:14,674
I give you the hardest
working man in show business,
1427
01:18:14,675 --> 01:18:16,634
ladies and gentlemen, James Brown!
1428
01:18:18,011 --> 01:18:19,721
Thank you, thank you.
1429
01:18:21,181 --> 01:18:22,807
Thank you, excuse me.
1430
01:18:22,808 --> 01:18:23,641
Excuse me.
1431
01:18:23,642 --> 01:18:25,352
Thank you, excuse me.
1432
01:18:30,566 --> 01:18:31,732
Ooh-ooh!
1433
01:18:31,733 --> 01:18:33,609
Doctor Detroit!
1434
01:18:42,869 --> 01:18:43,869
Excuse me.
1435
01:18:43,870 --> 01:18:44,996
What the...
1436
01:18:44,997 --> 01:18:45,997
What the heck's going on?
1437
01:18:52,170 --> 01:18:53,462
Hi, Mom.
1438
01:18:56,883 --> 01:19:00,095
I just saw someone we know.
Boys.
1439
01:19:14,151 --> 01:19:18,613
How are the hors d'oeuvres?
1440
01:19:18,614 --> 01:19:20,156
Mezzo mezzo.
1441
01:19:20,157 --> 01:19:25,454
- I'm so glad you could join us, Cliff.
- Thanks, I'm so glad I could make it.
1442
01:19:27,205 --> 01:19:29,248
- Hey, Fruit Cup.
- Yes, I'll have one, thank you.
1443
01:19:29,249 --> 01:19:33,962
No, I mean you, Fruit Cup.
Mom wants to see you right now.
1444
01:19:36,965 --> 01:19:38,382
Ladies and gentlemen.
1445
01:19:40,510 --> 01:19:44,848
Please, your attention.
Your attention please.
1446
01:19:45,807 --> 01:19:50,645
Faculty and alumni of
Monroe College and guests,
1447
01:19:50,646 --> 01:19:53,898
tonight is a very special
night for the college.
1448
01:19:53,899 --> 01:19:55,941
He's introducing him before the entree.
1449
01:19:55,942 --> 01:20:00,946
And to explain why, I'll introduce
our distinguished guest of honor,
1450
01:20:00,947 --> 01:20:04,283
himself an alumnus of
Monroe, a philanthropist,
1451
01:20:04,284 --> 01:20:05,117
Doctor of Humane Letters...
1452
01:20:05,118 --> 01:20:06,035
Hi, there.
1453
01:20:06,036 --> 01:20:10,164
And Chief Executive Officer and Chairman
of Rousehorn Consolidated Industries,
1454
01:20:10,165 --> 01:20:12,458
Mr. Harmon Rousehorn.
1455
01:20:16,713 --> 01:20:18,631
You introduced him before the entree.
1456
01:20:18,632 --> 01:20:19,465
Excuse me, excuse me.
1457
01:20:19,466 --> 01:20:22,968
And our friend, our colleague...
1458
01:20:22,969 --> 01:20:24,471
Look out, watch it!
1459
01:20:45,158 --> 01:20:46,367
Hey, Doctor, what's happening, baby?
1460
01:20:46,368 --> 01:20:47,201
What's moving out there?
1461
01:20:47,202 --> 01:20:49,161
Sweetheart, I'm so proud of you!
1462
01:20:49,162 --> 01:20:51,580
It is imperative that we leave
these premises immediately.
1463
01:20:51,581 --> 01:20:52,415
Why?
1464
01:20:52,416 --> 01:20:53,749
But the party's just getting started.
1465
01:20:53,750 --> 01:20:54,583
Man, what's the matter?
1466
01:20:54,584 --> 01:20:55,668
Why do we have to leave?
1467
01:20:55,669 --> 01:20:56,502
Mom!
1468
01:20:56,503 --> 01:20:57,837
Mom?
1469
01:20:57,838 --> 01:20:58,671
That's why.
1470
01:20:58,672 --> 01:21:00,381
- Mom?
- Well, who do you think?
1471
01:21:00,382 --> 01:21:04,427
No one starts this party without me.
Get the son of a bitch!
1472
01:21:18,817 --> 01:21:23,446
Look out, Doctor on call!
Emergency house call!
1473
01:21:23,447 --> 01:21:25,740
Emergency!
Doctor on call!
1474
01:21:28,577 --> 01:21:29,577
Look out!
1475
01:21:30,579 --> 01:21:32,289
Out of the way, move!
1476
01:21:37,419 --> 01:21:40,129
I'm gonna kick your ass!
1477
01:21:40,964 --> 01:21:44,759
I warn you, I'm a chiropractor!
I will use my skill negatively.
1478
01:21:44,760 --> 01:21:47,011
There are radioactive isotopes
in this bag, stay away!
1479
01:21:47,012 --> 01:21:48,220
You're dead!
1480
01:21:48,221 --> 01:21:51,140
You're mine, Detroit!
You're mine!
1481
01:21:53,018 --> 01:21:54,894
En garde, madame!
1482
01:21:54,895 --> 01:21:59,356
I have you now at a supreme
disadvantage.
1483
01:21:59,357 --> 01:22:01,151
Like hell, you have!
1484
01:22:03,570 --> 01:22:05,154
Hey, you're crazy!
1485
01:22:05,155 --> 01:22:06,322
I'll stick him!
1486
01:22:06,323 --> 01:22:08,115
Are you nuts?
1487
01:22:08,116 --> 01:22:11,827
And now, in closing,
I'd like to present to you
1488
01:22:11,828 --> 01:22:15,873
on behalf of Rousehorn
Consolidated Industries,
1489
01:22:15,874 --> 01:22:18,334
this meager endowment.
1490
01:22:21,630 --> 01:22:23,589
I'm so nervous!
1491
01:22:23,590 --> 01:22:25,716
Clifford should be here.
1492
01:22:25,717 --> 01:22:29,887
Well, this is a...
This is a great, great day for...
1493
01:22:34,851 --> 01:22:36,478
I defy you, woman!
1494
01:22:49,157 --> 01:22:50,157
Yeah!
1495
01:22:54,162 --> 01:22:58,124
Excuse me, excuse me,
this is a private party!
1496
01:22:59,125 --> 01:23:01,670
Who...
Who are these people?
1497
01:23:03,171 --> 01:23:05,548
500 on the Doctor?
1498
01:23:07,801 --> 01:23:11,178
Excuse me, excuse me,
this is a private party.
1499
01:23:21,982 --> 01:23:23,190
It's Clifford!
1500
01:23:23,191 --> 01:23:24,650
My God, no.
1501
01:23:24,651 --> 01:23:26,528
Yes, Mother, it's me.
1502
01:23:29,447 --> 01:23:30,281
Aha!
1503
01:23:30,282 --> 01:23:31,282
Ha ha!
1504
01:23:43,128 --> 01:23:46,130
Okay, finish me.
I'm not afraid to die, go ahead.
1505
01:23:46,131 --> 01:23:49,383
And I am fortunate in battle
and merciful in victory.
1506
01:23:49,384 --> 01:23:54,263
Madame, I'll let the room decide.
My good people, what'll it be?
1507
01:23:54,264 --> 01:23:55,307
No!
1508
01:23:57,475 --> 01:23:58,684
So be it!
1509
01:23:58,685 --> 01:24:00,311
You're finished in this town, Mom.
1510
01:24:00,312 --> 01:24:03,105
Through, banished,
exiled in your community.
1511
01:24:03,106 --> 01:24:05,399
Ladies and gentlemen, the
Doctor is a compassionate man!
1512
01:24:05,400 --> 01:24:09,570
Throw this trash bag out and never
let her darken Cook County again.
1513
01:24:14,117 --> 01:24:15,743
Shut up!
1514
01:24:15,744 --> 01:24:16,744
My arm!
1515
01:24:18,288 --> 01:24:19,830
You'll pay for this, do you hear me?
1516
01:24:19,831 --> 01:24:22,334
I'll be back!
1517
01:24:26,046 --> 01:24:30,842
My good people, I pray,
a moment of your attention here, please!
1518
01:24:31,885 --> 01:24:33,678
One million dollars!
1519
01:24:35,013 --> 01:24:38,015
And I thought you were cheap!
I didn't mean...
1520
01:24:38,016 --> 01:24:40,100
Clifford, you've made us so proud.
1521
01:24:40,101 --> 01:24:44,355
I thank you, sir, and the college
thanks you and my parents thank you.
1522
01:24:44,356 --> 01:24:50,861
And the Doctor thanks you.
But the Doctor is no more.
1523
01:24:51,738 --> 01:24:55,366
He existed only to
banish an evil presence.
1524
01:24:55,367 --> 01:24:56,784
And let it be known to all here
1525
01:24:56,785 --> 01:24:59,913
that the damsels whom Mom would
have held captive are free.
1526
01:25:00,997 --> 01:25:06,669
My ladies Karen, Thelma, Monica,
Jasmine, you are beholden to none.
1527
01:25:06,670 --> 01:25:11,799
And Diavolo, my trusted comrade,
perhaps we may ride again.
1528
01:25:11,800 --> 01:25:13,842
For whenever intimidation and injustice
1529
01:25:13,843 --> 01:25:16,762
vie with decency and honor,
let the Doctors arise,
1530
01:25:16,763 --> 01:25:18,305
and arise they must.
1531
01:25:18,306 --> 01:25:20,724
For within every one of
us, there is a Doctor,
1532
01:25:20,725 --> 01:25:24,728
a dormant Doctor, a supreme arbitrator,
who can be summoned to intervene
1533
01:25:24,729 --> 01:25:29,400
when crises threaten the stabilities
and well beings of our heartlands.
1534
01:25:32,320 --> 01:25:33,613
Now let's party!
1535
01:25:41,746 --> 01:25:45,959
I have endowed a madman.
Why couldn't I...
1536
01:25:46,835 --> 01:25:51,046
Why couldn't I have gone to Yale?
Or Syracuse, even?
1537
01:25:51,047 --> 01:25:55,092
Why don't you tell me about it?
What's wrong?
1538
01:26:52,275 --> 01:26:53,275
Mazel tov!
1539
01:26:54,305 --> 01:27:00,358
114849
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