Original subtitles

Good evening, fellow students.

I'm glad to see everyone here.

Our dear professor is very strict about attendance.

Anyone who is absent must bring a note signed by their television repairman.

And anyone who is tardy and misses the first part of the program must stay out

of school and watch the late, late show.

Perhaps you are wondering why I have this apple.

It is for the teacher, naturally.

And now we are about to take up one of his favorite subjects.

Watch closely.

He may ask questions.

Captain, please.

Giddyup.

Giddyup.

Come on, Lobby.

Giddyup.

Giddyup. Giddyup. You there.

Giddyup. Giddyup. Lobby. Giddyup. My man. Giddyup. Stop.

Giddyup. Stop. Giddyup. Lobby.

Giddyup. Did you hear what I said, my man?

If you don't stop. Giddyup. Stop.

Stop.

Stop abusing that animal.

He can't possibly pull such a load up that hill.

He's going to, Mum, and he's got to.

Nonsense. Here, give me me whip.

Nonsense. Leave half the load here by the side of the road and come back for

Come on now, unload it at once.

This baint your affair and it baint your oars.

Hmm, we'll see about that.

How much will you sell him for?

Him? Sell him?

Well, he's a valuable horse, a good horse. I don't know how I could sell

How much?

Well, a horse like that, I couldn't let go for less than ten pounds, ma 'am.

Ten pounds?

Yes, ma 'am.

Ten pounds for an overworked, decrepit beast like that?

Oh, very well.

What's your name?

Huggins, ma 'am. Ben Huggins.

Here.

Here, now.

You... You sign it.

You don't get your ten pounds unless you sign it.

Yes, but what does it say? It says that you have sold me your horse for ten

pounds and that you are to keep him for me.

You mean I get him, got to keep him? You are to keep him and use him in your

work. He's to be well fed and not overloaded. I should keep an eye on my

And if he isn't fat, if he isn't happy the next time I see him, I shall take

back my ten pounds.

Do you understand?

You mean all I've got to do for me ten pounds will be matey with me horse?

You've got to treat him like a brother. Make him like you.

He probably loathes you, you know.

Do he?

Oh, I hadn't thought of that.

Oh, come on, Professor.

Come on, lad.

Come on now.

You take a drink of water while I nip into the pub to get a little lad.

Refreshment meself.

Hear me?

That's the first sign of impatience that train has shown all day.

How do you do?

You must be our new governess, Miss Hope.

I'm Mrs. Wellington.

Where's your luggage?

Well, I'm afraid it didn't get off the train.

Oh, how provoking.

Really, these railway companies are so careless.

But never mind. My maid can lend you some things for the night.

The children are so looking forward to meeting you. Our last governess was not

at all satisfactory.

Quite a strict disciplinarian.

We're looking for somebody more up to date.

Come along, get in.

Home, please, Simpson.

Now, I must tell you something about the children.

Claude and Wilfred are very delicate.

They must never be spoken to in a harsh tone. It wounds them deeply.

Then Irene?

She has the artistic temperament very highly developed.

You must allow for that if she becomes a little over -emotional.

I have the artistic temperament myself.

I'm sure you can control yours, Miss Holmes.

And if Viola plays you a joke once in a while, you must take it in good part.

It's only youthful high spirits.

I see.

And I want them not only to be taught, but interested in what they learn.

And French, of course. I shall expect you to speak at mealtime several days

during the week. I shall speak French for four days of the week, and Russian

remaining three.

Russian.

My dear Miss Hope, nobody in the house understands or speaks Russian.

There. Will not embarrass me in the least.

I'd like the children to be out of doors a good part of the day.

So healthy for them. Yes.

Yes, I should think they would be glad to get out.

We're so proud of our house.

It was designed by Sir Cecil Pack in 1783.

His mother must have been frightened by a cathedral. I beg your pardon. Oh, pray

don't apologize.

It's just that I never cared much for neo -Gothic. No doubt you've been used

rather cramped quarters, but you'll get used to spaciousness in time.

I'll try, Mrs. Wellington.

Perhaps you'd like to see your role first.

Oh, thank you, Mrs. Wellington.

Ah, children, this is your new governess, Miss Hope.

Now, children, you must do all that you can to make Miss Hope feel at home.

Wilfred. No, Claude. Oh, Claude.

Wilfred.

Irene.

Weimar.

Gertrude Nelly Roberts.

Go home at once. I'm sure your mother's looking for you.

The Simpson children, the chauffeur you know. Mrs. Simpson is our laundress, and

she allows her children to run wild.

I don't like those children coming into the house.

Now, where's Nanny? Nanny?

Oh, there you are.

Nanny, those Simpson children were in again. I do think you might manage to

them out of the house.

Miss Hope, this is Nanny.

Nanny, this is Miss Hope, our new governess.

Now, come along, Miss Hope. I'll show you to your room.

No, children, you stay down there with Nanny.

You see what I mean about Claude and Wilfred, such shy little boys.

Oh dear, it's getting very dark.

There's no gas in this hall.

There is, however, a light in your room.

Ah yes, Rose has it all ready for you. I think you'll be very comfortable here.

Not with those pictures.

I shouldn't sleep a wink.

They must be taken down at once.

My dear Miss Hope, most governesses would be very happy to have a room like

this. You are quite right. mistaken, Mrs. Wellington.

After the governess's revolt... The what? The governess's revolt, which is

to take place two weeks from tomorrow, you will discover what a volcano you've

been sitting on all these years.

Volcano? I shouldn't have mentioned it.

Now, about those pictures... We can discuss them another time, Miss Hope.

I shall leave you now.

You may inspect the schoolroom if you wish.

Mr. Wellington and I are alone tonight, so perhaps you'd care to dine with us.

We shall expect you in the drawing room at eight o 'clock.

more than just a splash at the bottom of the glass.

1901. Not a very good year for travel.

Are you an authority on wines, Miss Hope? I should scarcely care to call

an authority.

But when one doesn't know anything about wine, I do think it's wiser to consult

someone who does.

I should recommend Sheldon Brothers in London.

Just put yourself in their hands.

And you cannot go far wrong.

I hardly think that buying the wine for the household comes in your province,

Miss Hope.

We have very satisfactory references about you, Miss Hope, from Canon Teep, a

most estimable man.

Drinks like a fish and beats his wife, but otherwise quite a lovable character.

My dear Miss Hope, I trust you're exaggerating. Oh, one must in justice

there is some provocation.

Mrs. Teep is quick. Quite the most irritating bridge player.

I wasn't surprised when her leads and declarations aroused a certain amount of

brutality in the cannon.

Miss Hope, I hardly think that... But sousing her with the entire contents of

the soda water siphon, that was going a little far.

You may think me hasty in my judgments, but it was practically on account of the

siphon incident that I left.

I don't wish to hear any more.

I shall never allude to it again.

Miss Hope, with what studies do you intend to begin the children's

Biology. Biology to begin with, and then possibly history.

Oh, history, yes, by all means, yes, history. Now, when you're teaching them

history, you must take care that they have interest in what they learn.

You must make them feel that they are being introduced to the lives of men and

women who really lived.

I've told her that.

I teach history.

On the Schatzmetaklum method.

The, uh... Oh, I see.

Schatzmetaklum.

German, I suppose.

Oh, Mr. Wellington.

What a sense of humor you have.

John, we'll leave you to your port.

That is, unless you require more wine, Miss Hope. Oh, no.

Oh, no. What I had was quite enough.

I shall go to my room now.

You might send me up a bottle of brandy, please, and a decent glass to drink it

from. The only one I observed in my room was a tooth mug.

Good night, Mr. Wellington.

Good night.

Will someone give me a light?

Or am I supposed to feel my way up to this black hole?

I'm sorry, Miss.

I didn't expect you up so soon. I was going to leave a candle on the landing,

but Nanny said it might be dangerous and the house might catch on fire. That

might be a good thing.

Here we are.

I'll just turn the gas up, shall I? Oh, thank you, Rose.

That's hardly an improvement, is it?

I brought you some nightclothes, Miss, till your baggage arrives.

I do hope they fit all right. If they belong to Mrs. Wellington, that is

scarcely likely.

However, it is of no importance.

I always make the best of things.

I'll just turn the bed down, shall I? Yes.

The bathroom's just down the passage, miss.

Thank you.

Will there be anything else?

No. Oh, yes.

You might find out what became of the brandy I ordered.

Oh, well, never mind.

Good night, Rose.

Miss Hope hasn't brought the children back yet, ma 'am.

And it's time they were washing their hands before lunch. Back? Well, where

they gone? They went off right after breakfast.

Haven't been seen since.

They missed their elevenses entirely.

Now they'll be late for lunch and the vicar coming.

Really, this is most irritating.

Mrs. Wellington, are you sure that Miss Hope is going to do... Never mind that

now, Nanny. Let me know the moment they come back. I must finish this letter

before the vicar arrives.

She told... cook she wanted chocolate pudding for breakfast i thought it would

be a good idea if we could prevail upon lady specially to allow us to use her

garden for the bizarre if the weather was fine don't you think that a good

mrs wellington what oh yes i'm so sorry vicar but i am a bit worried about

the children i'm sure nothing's happened to them mrs wellington unless of course

they went picking flowers in the field with mr hankins

I see you didn't delay lunch for me. Quite right, of course.

Good afternoon, Vicar.

My shooting coat.

Mommy, I got 64 tadpoles. We caught them ourselves, see? See? He's a harmless

kind. Isn't he sweet?

Look, boys, specimens.

Take them away.

Throw those dirty things away.

Oh, John, how can you sit there? Go to Nanny instantly.

No, no, no.

makes one feel quite hungry, doesn't it, Vicar?

Oh, yes.

Do you find this system of education quite satisfactory? Oh, yes.

Miss Hope, quite satisfactory. I believe Mrs. Wellington forgot to introduce us.

Yes, the children will learn all about the reproductive system of the frog,

which will lead on, quite naturally, to the higher forms of life. Don't you

think they're a little young?

Do you mean no? I shall teach them everything.

Good afternoon, Vicar.

Go to the nursery at once, children. No, no, the back stairs. Go up the back

stairs. Just send my lunch on a tray to my room. I shall take a nap till tea

time.

I like biology.

I'm going to be a biologist when I grow up and have tens and tens of specimens.

Indeed you're not.

You've probably all caught your death of cold.

Ah, Miss Hope, I trust you slept well. Very well, thank you.

The fresh air always makes me feel drowsy.

Do you always allow your children to have tea with you? I don't leave the

of the children entirely to the servants.

They have tea with us whenever we have no game.

Very commendable.

However, I should think it would inhibit adult conversation.

A careless word and one finds oneself quoted in the most embarrassing

circumstances.

We are not accustomed to embarrassing topics of conversation, Miss Hope.

Miss Hope, is the mother... A frog just lays her eggs and goes away.

How does she know which are her babies?

Frogs are notoriously indifferent to their offspring.

She doesn't care which are her babies.

Doesn't the father frog care?

He's even more indifferent than the mother, if possible.

Why does she lay the eggs if she isn't fond of children?

It's a biological necessity. What else would she do with them?

Perhaps we should change the subject.

But cats like their kittens, and dogs like their puppies.

And cows like their cubs. Do cats lay eggs? Do dogs?

Do cows?

Oh, Wilfred, you're so silly.

Did you ever see a cow egg?

Well, you see, Wilfred, the truth of the matter is, Miss Hope, very well.

You will confine your remarks to frogs, please, children.

The Schatzmetaclub method covers one thing at a time.

It'll be some weeks before we get to cows.

You are not going to get to cows, Miss Hope. Not for some time, at any rate.

since we have biology only on Thursday.

What shall we study tomorrow, Miss Hope? Tomorrow?

Tomorrow I shall teach you history.

John, have you spoken to Miss Hope?

Yes. That is, no, I tried to, but... But what?

All you have to tell her is that we don't think she's suitable for this

I did, but she didn't seem to hear me.

She said that... She had no time for conversation. They're having a history

lesson this morning.

And she didn't want to be distracted until after lunch.

Well, where are they now?

I don't know.

Rose, where are the children?

Well, I'm not sure, ma 'am. I think they're in the garden.

What are you doing dragging it about here in the dirt?

Go and put something on instantly.

Are you out of your mind coming out here with no clothes on?

But Miss Hope says wolves don't wear anything under their skin.

Miss Hope?

Well, what's the meaning of this?

Answer me.

Well, we're having a history lesson.

Viola's supposed to be Rome, and I'm the she -wolf. You know, the one that

adopted Romulus and Remus.

Flord and Rafferty have gone to fetch the shabby women.

The shabby women?

Yes. They've got to catch them.

They didn't want to, but Miss Hope got one of Father's rackets and said she

would give them a spanking if they didn't, so they've gone to do it.

Wilfred, Claude, let those children go at once.

What do you think you're doing? What's happening? What is going on? That's what

I should like to know.

John, talk to Mrs. Simpson.

Raise her salary.

Explain to her. But what should I...

What is the meaning of this disgraceful, inexcusable... Well, answer me, Miss

Hope. What were you doing with my children?

Well, I was teaching them early Roman history. The rape of the Sabine women,

know. It's the Schatzmetoklum method to make children understand history by

acting it themselves.

It fixes it in their memories.

Of course, if thanks to your interference your boys go through life

Sabine women ultimately escaped, I can't... I cannot be held responsible.

I consider the shards metaclue method as irresponsible as you, Miss Hope.

You'll kindly leave here by the next train.

Your luggage will be sent after you when it arrives.

As you will.

At least I shall have started the children in the right direction.

You might keep my luggage until I wire my address.

There are only a couple of trunks, some goth clubs, and a cheetah cub.

A cheetah cub?

Well, he's rather left off being a cub. He's more than half grown.

A fowl every day and a rabbit on Sunday is what he usually gets.

Raw beef makes him excitable. Oh, please don't bother to order the car for me. I

feel like a walk.

Oh, good day, ma 'am.

Oh, good day, Huggins.

How's my horse?

Is he beginning to like you any better?

Like me?

Why, he loves me, ma 'am.

I'm delighted to hear it.

I treat him fair.

When I takes a drink, he takes a drink. Good.

Oh, there's my train. I must let it get away from me.

Goodbye, Huggins.

I shall expect Ferdinand to have gained at least a stone by the time I see him

again. Who?

Ferdinand, my horse.

Ferdinand?

Who?

I don't know how he'll take to that.

Ferdinand, you've always... been known as Norby, haven't you?

I beg your pardon.

Are you Mrs. Wellington?

No, decidedly not.

You must be Miss Hope.

I don't think she's expecting you today, Miss Hope. I should advise you to hire

a conveyance of some sort and drive out to the house.

Goodbye.

We've quite given you up. You know, we went to the station yesterday and the

before. Well, where have you been, Lady Charlotte?

We were beginning to worry about you.

Your luggage is far more prompt than you are, Charlotte.

The train went off without me at Little Tipton, so I had to stay with a family

of complete strangers.

It was a very interesting experience.

Really? Oh, I hope Rover hasn't been a nuisance.

He's been living in the stables with Perkins.

We've become quite attached.

to him. In that case, I shall make you a present of him, Jenny dear.

Oh, thank you, Charlotte. That's very kind of you, dear.

But don't you think he'd be far happier in the zoo with all the other animals

and things?

Perhaps. Oh, now do sit down and let me pour you some tea.

How very tiresome for you, Charlotte dear, losing your train and then having

stay with those strange people.

Oh, dear, no.

Not at all tiresome for me.

I thought that was an excellent lesson on how to put idle time to good use.

And now I have a lesson.

to write on the board the rest of you are to be part of an experiment in sleep

teaching this is the theory that if a message is repeated during one's sleep

becomes a part of one's subconscious this particular lesson is unusually well

fitted for this experiment for it not only repeats its message but if you

already asleep it takes care of that

Our beloved professor took umbrage at my remarks concerning his audio -visual

aids. But I don't believe I need to finish this. You see, our professor was

teaching us by the Schatzmetaklum method.

He was playing the part of Louis XVI on his way to the guillotine, and he failed

to realize that the class was filled with very dedicated Schatzmetaklum

actors. Our professor will not be back next week, but I shall. Until

then, good night.