Original subtitles

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. A dear friend invited me to this picnic,

he doesn't seem to be around.

I seldom go on safaris of this kind.

They can be simulated perfectly in your own home, thanks to these two shakers.

You just sprinkle these on your sandwiches. This one contains sand,

and this one, ant.

The reason for my invitation is now obvious.

Rattlesnake sticks in the original package.

While I attempt to unravel this mystery, we have one for you to puzzle over.

Here it is.

Shouldn't we go lower, Mr. Lester? Come on, come on. But you're out of breath.

Now wait here and I'll try and find a taxi.

Don't make that disgusting noise. There are no taxis here. Come on. I'm not out

of breath. It's the excitement. It always happens.

It's hard to imagine the office is only five blocks away. When I enter this

street, the whole city ceases to exist. Look, there it is.

You mean this is the restaurant you've been telling me about?

You mustn't judge by appearances.

It isn't only a restaurant.

It's a club.

The only club of its kind.

The world.

Come along.

Beyond this door, we leave behind us the vulgarity of our time.

Two qualities are missing from this day and age.

Mystery and dignity.

Especially mystery.

Inside, they're both restored to us.

Do I sound pompous?

Of course you'll say no, since I'm your employer.

Good evening, sir.

Mr. Laffer and guests.

Let me take your coat.

You make me feel as if we're going into a temple, not a restaurant. In a sense,

we are.

I hope you're not being facetious.

You do realize what a privilege it is to be invited to eat here.

Oh, I do. I'm so sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.

Good evening, sir. Good evening.

Ah, Henlein, eating alone tonight?

Where's Jackson?

Resigned.

Resigned? But he's just been elected a life member.

Good evening, sir. Oh, Carlton, come here.

I want you to meet Mr. Lom Fong Ho, one of our vice presidents.

Mr. Costin, a business associate of mine.

How do you do, sir? Mr. Lom Fong Ho is from Singapore.

I make three visits a year from Singapore just to eat here. Bon appétit.

Well, what do you think of our little club?

Plenty of atmosphere anyway.

Are there many members?

Exactly 40.

No, only 39 now that Jackson's resigned.

Can't understand it.

Suppose it must be true.

Yes, there's his picture on the wall.

The Jackson's the puffy one.

At the end.

Excuse me, sir.

Did you wish to dine now?

Is the specialty of the house being served tonight?

I am so sorry, sir. Not tonight. I've waited so long now.

So has everyone else, sir.

Soon, I imagine, we shall have our patients rewarded.

Oh, I hope so.

Hope so.

Very well, you can start serving.

Yes, sir.

Don't you have menus?

Bye, dear boy.

When you've studied the art of fine eating as long and as vigorously as I

you won't trouble with menus.

Some printer prints, some head waiter writes words on a card. What do they

Sauce Mornay, the menu tells us.

Who can say with what love and care the bechamel was prepared from which the

Mornay is derived?

Who can say with what tenderness the cheese was grated?

Who can say whether the result...

will be a delight or a disappointment.

Here at Spiro's, we have no doubts. We ask no questions. We only know that

is a genius in the kitchen.

I know good food when I taste it, Mr. Lafleur. I know you do, my boy. That's

it's such a pleasure to introduce you to Spiro's.

What are we going to have?

I can't tell you that.

Spiro offers no choice.

We all eat the same meal.

All I can tell you is that it will be extraordinary.

Is it different every night?

Always different.

Always superb.

What happens if a member of the club doesn't like a particular dish being

on a certain evening?

My mother used to say, we eat what's set before us, and we like it.

I'm sorry I can't offer you a cocktail.

We only drink wine here, you know. No slits.

what I hoped. I wanted so much to introduce you to Spiro's master.

I don't want to presume, Mr. Latler, but perhaps when the specialty of the house

is being served, you'll invite me again. One never knows. That's the trouble.

One never knows.

Eat your soup.

Very good.

You don't find it good at all. You find it flat.

I know, because when I was permitted to join the club a few months ago, I felt

exactly the same about it. I just thought it could use a little salt.

No salt. No salt.

Keep the palate pure.

We don't allow any condiments here. Not even salt.

At Spiros, the taste buds are refined to the ultimate degree.

Spiros... Here comes the main course.

Wouldn't you enjoy your soup?

I must admit, it did have an unusual flavor.

Very good.

Can't possibly compare to the specialty of the house.

And what might that specialty be?

Nightingale's tongues or brochette?

Fillet of unicorn?

Lamb armistan.

I've never heard of it. Of course you haven't.

Very fine, but not lamb armistan.

However, perhaps you're free tomorrow night. Yes, sir.

We don't want to be late, you know.

Tonight.

Could be the night.

But I'm not at all disappointed, Mr. Latter. This is the most extraordinary

I've ever eaten. It was not lamb armistron.

What is this lamb you're so keen on?

Keen on?

We crave it, all of us here.

Well, where does it come from?

According to Spiro, armistron is a desolate plateau on the boundary of

in Africa.

Share a small but superb flock of sheep.

Graze on the delicate grasses which are only to be found there. And which give

the lamb its incredible flavor.

I can't say I've ever heard of it. Of course you can't.

This is the only restaurant in the world where you can get it. The only one in

the world.

And do all these men feel the same way about it?

Yes.

We all feel the same.

But lamb, our mestran.

Sort of an obsession.

I have two other obsessions.

One of them is to become a life member of the club.

The other, to see the kitchens where these miracles are performed.

Well, why don't you ask Spiro?

I have many times.

I've always been refused.

Doesn't like anybody poking around in the pots and pans, I suppose.

What sort of a fellow is he?

Where does he come from?

Good evening.

Spiro, good evening.

I think we shall be having the speciality of the house very soon, my

Spiro, I have a request.

Oh, I couldn't possibly do that. No, no, no, it's about the club.

Oh, our little club pleases you? Well, that's putting it mildly. I suppose

there's no chance of my becoming a member.

Who can say?

But we have here a very... long period of... Probation?

Testing.

Sometimes months.

I'd be glad to wait.

He has nice manners, your friend.

Yes, I'm going to put him in charge of my office. I must have someone to look

after it while I'm away.

Mr. Lafleur. He's modest, too.

From the high priestess of our kitchen, that's praise indeed.

He flatters me.

I merely supervise.

The only dish I prepare personally is the lamb armistron.

I've been preparing it now for three days.

Oh.

There's a marinating process, you understand.

Ah.

I've heard a great deal about it.

And it lives up to its reputation, doesn't it?

It does indeed.

I'd really like to see how you make it. Cost 10.

You must forgive my friend. He doesn't understand.

Don't be angry with him.

I'm not too angry.

Will you return tomorrow night?

If I may.

The speciality should be ready.

You invite him, but he's not a member.

Your friend is always welcome.

Spiro said they're serving the specialty of the house tonight. I don't want you

here. Go away.

Why? Why not?

Why should I share it with you? It'll be less for me, less for the other

members. Well, then I shall go in by myself.

They won't let you in.

Spiro will let me in. Cothran, I order you to go away. Go back.

Mr. Lafleur.

Let me in.

Spiro, let me in.

Mr. Castaigne, Mr. Lafleur's friend.

Let him in.

I'm sorry sir.

Well, now you know where we keep the Amsterdam accounts.

Now, in this file, we have the Far Eastern contracts.

You'd better ask Miss Hinkle to give you the address of the firms in Mexico and

Canada we do business with. I've already checked on those, Mr. Latler.

Oh.

I'll only be away a month. Perhaps I'll be back sooner. I hope you will, sir.

Meanwhile, I'm sure I can leave everything safely in your hands. Oh, you

sir. I trust you completely.

These last few weeks... Eating together at Spiro's seemed to have brought us

very close.

Yes, sir. These are the keys.

This is the combination of the safe.

And how can I get in touch with you, sir? You'll find my itinerary on the

Now then, shall I take the bags with me now? No, we'll leave them here and then

we'll pick them up after dinner. Come on, I want to have time to enjoy my last

meal at Spiro's.

Well, my last meal for a few weeks. I must get off a memorandum to the London

office about that shipment of box I were expecting, and it must go tonight. I'll

join you as quickly as I can.

By the way, I haven't told you.

My application for life membership at Spiro's has been favorably received.

Oh, congratulations, sir. I've got another surprise for you.

I've persuaded Spiro to make you a member.

I'm really very grateful, sir.

I thought you'd be pleased.

Oh, yes, very.

Well, don't be long.

Goodbye, Miss Hinkle.

Goodbye, sir.

Oh, Miss Hinkle, there's one more thing I'd like you to do for me tonight, a

memorandum to London. I'll dictate it now and you can type it in the morning.

Very well, Mr.

Castaigne. Oh, by the way, Miss Hinkle, I'll be using this office.

Costain speaking.

Oh, yes, Spiro.

No, I haven't forgotten.

He hit his head on the pavement.

We'd better call the police.

No, not the police.

Spiro would not like it.

Spiro wouldn't? Why not? What happened, Paul?

Oh, sir, I don't know. I was hurrying, so as not to be late for work, and this

man, he jumped on me.

He wanted my money. I don't know why.

So you... You had saved my life.

Oh, nonsense. No, you'd better go and wash up and get ready for work.

Oh, good evening, headline.

Good evening.

I hear you're off on a trip tonight.

Yes, I was going to inspect our branches abroad.

Oh, we will miss you.

Oh, how kind of you to say so.

Mr. Lapser, Mr.

Henlein.

My friend, the young man, Mr.

Costain, will arrive late.

Personally, I'm not looking forward to the trip.

And I always hate eating in strange restaurants. Our food here surpasses

anything in the world. I quite agree with you. Will you excuse me? It's my

evening before I go. And I'm sure that Spiro will have a special treat for me.

How are you feeling now, eh?

Oh, I am so grateful to you, sir.

I will never forget.

No nonsense.

Don't give it another thought.

The specialty of the house is being served again tonight, isn't it?

I am terribly sorry, sir. Not tonight.

That's monstrous. Send Spiro to me at once.

Yes, sir.

Good evening, Sparrow.

Oh, Mr. Cockpit.

Good evening.

Oh, you brought it. Good.

Excuse me. Mr. Lafley wishes to see you at once. He's very upset.

Excuse me.

What is it, Mr.

Lafleur? Spiro, you knew I was going away.

But you'll be back. That's not the point. You knew I was going away on this

Tartham journey. You might at least have had the lamb for me on my last evening.

Oh, it must be an oversight on the part of the chef.

Come with me into the kitchen.

Let's see what we can do about it.

Do not go into the kitchen. Out of my way, you idiot. I've been waiting this

for months.

But where's the chef?

In there.

Oh, it's superb.

Just as I imagined it. May I?

May I look round?

Yes,

indeed. I want to offer him my heartfelt congratulations.

How do you do?

Oh, well, he looks there among our other absent friends.

I shall be expecting you to dine with us more often now that Mr. Lafner is away.

Perhaps we shall have the specialty of the house again soon.

Next week, maybe?

It takes time to prepare.

But I think... I think I can promise you.

I trust you understand that our having Mrs. Spiro on our program does not

necessarily constitute an endorsement of her or her restaurant.

You know, I'm wondering if picnics might not be as bad as I imagined.

I haven't even seen any ants.

Until next time, when I shall return with another story.

Good night.