All language subtitles for Alfred Hitchcock s04e04 The Crooked Road

Oh, good evening.

I don't know what this means.

They won't tell me why I've been
arrested.

They keep saying, your turn will come.

I don't like the sound of it.

But officers, I didn't do a thing.

Okay, you. It's your turn now.

I understand your category as television
commercials.

Oh, then I wasn't arrested.

Don't be absurd.

Now for your first question.

We shall play the soundtrack from a well
-known commercial.

After hearing the sound, tell us what
the person in the commercial has just

eaten, drunk, smoked, used, or driven
in.

Hmm.

Is that all?

May I hear it again, please?

Very well.

I have it.

The answer is...

There's a police car.

Mm -hmm.

Don't worry, we couldn't be more legal
if we got out and walked.

We're doing exactly 50.

I guess you're right.

Not that we can afford to be wrong.

They must expect us to pass them. Are
you going to?

No reason why we shouldn't.

They're going exactly 48 miles an hour.

If we don't pass them now, we'll have to
follow them all the way to

Robertsville.

How far is that?

About ten miles.

Well, here goes.

We're still legal, aren't we?

At 50 miles an hour, legal as lemonade.

They can't be after us.

Well, can they?

Well, they probably got a radio call.

We'll soon find out.

That was deliberate.

Harry! Hurry down.

Long way from home, aren't you, mister?

You, uh, going somewhere special in a
hurry?

I thought for a minute I was going to
the morgue.

What did you do that for?

Well, you were driving kind of crazy
like.

Let me have your license and your
registration.

Now wait just a minute.

I asked you a question I was entitled to
ask. Why did you force me off the road

like that?

Just one more time, mister. Your license
and your registration.

Come on, come on. I ain't got all day.

Harry, please do as he says.

Well, move it along, mister. What's the
matter? You got something to hide?

Henry Sanford Adams.

Tell me, Mr. Adams, what is the speed
limit back in New York where you come

from?

It's 50 miles an hour on most state
roads.

When it varies, the information is
posted. The point is, I wasn't breaking

law here.

That's all.

Very interesting.

You, uh...

Trying to make up the rules for us
country folks?

No, sir, I'm not. I haven't suggested
I'm trying.

Then, uh, suppose you tell me what you
think the speed limit is around here.

50 miles an hour.

Mister, you're so right.

Now, you let me tell you that you was
doing 57 miles an hour when you passed

on that road back there.

Well, of course, but I had no choice.
Now, just a minute, just a minute. Let's

get first things straight.

It don't look right for a man, uh, Pass
a police car passing the law allows.

Right bold as brass, just like you was
holding your thumb up to your nose.

Well, that's not true.

It's not?

No.

I had to speed up to pass you, but I
wasn't traveling over the speed limit

you blew that siren.

I couldn't believe it was meant for me.

Well, I'm not just going to answer them
remarks at all. You just get that car

started up and follow us into town.
Officer.

Please, we don't want to quarrel with
you.

But we were driving so carefully.

And we were safely within the speed
limit when you stopped us.

Ma 'am, there's no one talking to you.

Absolutely no one at all.

Now, out here, the ladies let the
menfolk say what has to be said.

Nobody talking to you at all.

Look, I don't care if you've got six
passes. Get in there and do as you're

Start up that car. Follow us into town.

How can I start the car? I don't have
the keys.

Well, you got them now.

Come on, Aaron.

Well, I guess we've had it.

Looks like you got yourself in quite a
mess, mister.

What are we going to do, Harry? Can you
fix it?

I'll have to put the spare on.

Take the wheel off.

Possibly the officer will help me.

You being cute.

That wheel is gone. The baron is shot.
You won't be able to put on no spare.

You'll have to let me and my partner
ride you to town.

You and your partner?

Look, don't you think you've done enough
forcing me off the road?

Oh, this is nice.

This is just anti.

This is where the balloon goes up,
mister.

Are you trying to say that we forced you
off this road illegally?

Harry, please.

We have to be on our way.

Let's not make things any worse.

Say it, mister. Say it now. What are the
charges?

All right, I'm not making any charges.

I do say that grease cap looks just fine
to me, and I don't think the bearing is

useless. I can put on the spare, and I
intend to do just that.

Hold it, bright boy.

I tell you now, for the last time, that
car is a hazard on the road. The bearing

is gone. It'll have to be towed in a
town.

And I say that isn't true.

What's more, you know it isn't true.

Harry, please.

Can't you see what he's trying to make
you do?

Uh... Come on, now. Come on.

Well,

looks like you folks are in luck. Just
the man you need, Mr. Charlie Brown.

In luck, huh?

Huh, Charlie?

Howdy.

Looks like you're having a little
trouble.

Anything I can do to help you folks?

Well, I was just telling them, Charlie,
how lucky they were that you come along

right now.

See, they need a towing job real bad.
Isn't that right?

Let's let him decide, Chuck. Patrol car
number six.

Proceed to Kingston Road at Route 14.

Ashley's Shopping Center.

Repeating. Patrol car number six.

Proceed to Kingston Road at Route 14.

Ashley's Shopping Center. The police
radio on the truck?

Isn't that illegal?

Or is that just another one of the
little services you people afford?

Hold it, mister.

You don't go no further.

Charlie, I think you ought to take a
look at that right front wheel. He done

real sweet job.

Mm -mm -mm.

You can put the spare on, can't you?

The spare?

Charlie, I told the man that the Baron
was ruined.

But, you see, he wants to hear it
official -like. He's a real big brain

York. Well, that Baron shot, there ain't
nothing much you can do about it.

I'm sorry about you folks' bad luck, but
I'm afraid I'll just have to tow you

back in town.

Uh -huh. How much will that cost?

Cost?

Well, now, that is a consideration,
ain't it?

Like I say, I hate to see you folks
having any bad luck.

How much?

He's the impatient type, Charlie. Very
impatient.

Give the man a price.

Well, to begin with, there's the towing
charge. Now, that's a standard thing.

That's $5 a mile.

You're lucky there, because it's only
nine miles back to town.

What I mean to say is it could have been
worse.

I'll only charge you about $5 for my
trip out here, and then, oh, $10 for

baron. Give or take a few dollars.
Shouldn't cost you more than $60.

You think I'm lucky.

Don't you?

I think you're a crook.

I think you're in business with him.

Say that again.

Harry. Harry, don't do what they want
you to do. I asked you to repeat that,

mister. I asked you to say that again.

All right, I'll repeat it.

I think you're in business together.

You and this mechanized bandit you
contacted by radio. Why shouldn't I say

Harry.

You see him try to resist a race.

I was here all the time, wasn't I?

I seen the whole thing.

What's that, the Liberty Bell?

Could be. Justice never sleeps in
Robertsville, you know.

All right.

Afternoon, Pete. Howdy, Judge.

Well, only one defendant, Your Honor.
This one.

A kind of a wild one, if I may say so,
sir.

Real sharp fella from New York.

Your Honor, I'd like to... You'll have
your chance to speak.

Yes, officer.

Subject, Henry Sampson Adams.

That's him, Your Honor.

Driving a 1958 convertible.

Beautiful job, Your Honor, till he
cracked it up.

A subject exceeded state speed limit by
seven miles per hour at a point ten

miles north of Robertsville town line on
Route 7.

Subject was apprehended by officers
Andrew T. Bleeker and Peter B. Chandler

after failing to heed the warning siren.

Subject then... Your Honor, may I say...
Silence.

Go ahead, officer.

Subject damaged his vehicle through
reckless handling of a car, after which

arresting officers transported subject
and woman passenger to Robertsville for

appearance before Justice of Peace
Gerard Anthony Stanton at approximately

p .m. June 10th and 19... Well, that's
about it, Your Honor.

I see.

Well, that's too bad.

Nice new car, too.

It seems you could have saved yourself a
pack of trouble, young man, if you'd

stopped when you first heard the siren.
I didn't think that siren was for me,

Your Honor, because I was not breaking
the law, no matter what he says.

Now, listen here, young man.

Besides which, we were forced off the
road by that police car and then

victimized by a towing truck that
suddenly and magically appeared.

At those prices, I could have had a
battleship towed up a dry creek.

Silence.

You see what I mean, Your Honor? Smart
boy.

Didn't I tell you that Baron was busted?

I didn't need that towing truck, Your
Honor. I could have taken off that

wheel and put on the spare.

But I was prevented by this officer.

Did I or did I not tell you that that
Baron was no good? Yes, you told me.

you told me. And your friend on the
towing truck said the same thing because

that was what you wanted him to say.

The truth is you didn't take the wheel
off to check, so neither of you could

have known.

Stop it! Will you please make him stop?

Officer Chandler?

Yes, sir.

I know you had extreme provocation, and
I saw the threatening gesture made by

the defendant.

Even so, let him alone.

If he has any formal charges to
register, I feel now's the time for

While we're in the mood for hearing
them.

Any more charges, sir?

I don't suppose it'd help much. Why
should I bother?

I suspect it's time to get on to
business, Mr. Adams.

First of all, you're charged with
driving a motor vehicle 57 miles an hour

50 -mile zone.

How do you plead?

As I've been trying to explain, Your
Honor, I was obliged to speed up in

to pass the police car which was
blocking the road.

I'm sure I did so justifiably and under
extenuating circumstances.

Mr. Adams, how do you plead?

Under the circumstances I've outlined, I
plead not guilty.

I see.

Well, you're perfectly in your rights,
Mr. Adams.

In that case, a hearing will be held in
this courtroom Friday morning at 10 o

'clock.

But, Your Honor... I'm sure you heard me
correctly.

Officer Chandler, you will be here at
that time with Officer Blinker.

Yes, sir.

Now, Mr. Adams, you will kindly post a
bail bond of $100 to be held by this

court pending your appearance.

If you're prepared to post this bond at
this time, you're free to go until

Friday at 10.

That's impossible, Your Honor.

I'll be 700 or 800 miles away from here
by then.

Oh, will you?

Not without posting your bail bond, Mr.
Adams.

No, indeed.

I guarantee you'll be right here with us
in our modern, comfortable jail.

But why can't I get a hearing now?

All contested traffic cases are heard
Friday morning at 10 o 'clock.

Reconsidering, and from a more practical
point of view, how would you choose to

plead?

Well,

I guess I plead guilty.

This is not a guessing game, Mr. Adams.

How do you plead?

Guilty.

Well, I would say that makes more sense
and is more in keeping with our

tradition here.

As a matter of fact, our excellent
officers who patrol this section are not

often contradicted.

Now, let me see.

Naturally, I fine you $5 a mile for
every mile above the speed limit to

you have confessed.

That would be exactly $35.

Oh, one moment, Mr. Adams.

Because of your failure to stop
instantly when you heard the arresting

siren, and because of the insolence and
lack of cooperation you've shown here,

I'm assessing you double court costs.

That will be $60 .50, in addition to the
$35 for speeding.

You may pay the court.

$60 .50 for what court costs?

I can triple them, Mr. Adams, if it will
help your understanding.

Yes, I guess you could.

You're getting smart again, Your Honor.

Harry.

Harry, please pay the money. Let's get
away from here.

Heavenly, 80, 90, 95, and 50 cents.

I trust you've learned your lesson,
young man.

I have indeed, Your Honor.

It's been a liberal education in more
ways than one.

May we go?

Oh, by all means, Mr. Adams.

I'll give you folks a little lift over
to Chalice Place.

No, thanks.

The condemned man always walks the last
mile.

That's very good.

You're the witted type, aren't you?

Sure I am.

I laugh till it hurts.

Right now it hurts all over.

Hey, uh, all in all, you, uh, you fellas
must have had a pretty good day, huh?

How's that?

Well, I understand that under the local
setup, the justice and the police are

entitled to keep half the fines. Isn't
that right?

Mister? You're so right.

You're so exactly right.

You come back again and see us sometime,
yeah?

Let's go, Anton.

All gassed up and ready to go for you
folks.

Do you have the bill?

The bill?

Yeah, I got it right here.

I'm glad to get this thing finished and
send you nice folks on your way.

Now, like I told you, it was $5 for me
coming out there to get you nice folks.

Then there was the towing charge of $45.

Now, I'm only going to charge you $10
for that Baron.

Well, it's a big, heavy car, so
naturally it takes a big Baron.

It's natural.

I mean, it ain't like replacing just a
little old piece of buckshot.

No, I guess not.

Now, there's my labor. I'm only charging
you $10 for that, and the gas and oil,

and, well, the whole thing comes to $75
.40.

Let's just call it $75 even. No sense in
anybody being a hog.

This is yours.

Thanks.

50, 60, 70, 5.

And, uh, 40 cents, you said?

Like I said, neighbor, let's just forget
the 40 cents. Oh, no, Charlie, we don't

want to forget the 40 cents.

Anything else I can do for you nice
folks?

No, I don't think so, Charlie. You've
been real sweet.

Tell me, uh, when are you going to call
up Pete and his partner on that radio

hookup you got in the truck out there?

Can't say as I know what you're getting
at, friend.

Well, I thought if you called them up,
they might bring that larcenous old

windbag of a justice on down with them.

And the four of you can sit down and cut
up the loot.

Can't say I like your attitude.

I don't like it at all.

Watch him, Harry.

Now why don't you get on back in your
car and get out of my garage.

Go on before Pete gets back here.

Harry, let's go.

Please.

Charming community, wasn't it?

One in a million.

Well, I guess we've had enough, don't
you think?

More than enough.

You better check and make sure you've
got everything.

I've seen minor bits of larceny, but
never in the three years I've been with

Highway Commission have I seen anything
like this.

Well, it's an isolated case.

I don't think they'd believe us back at
the Statehouse, though, if we didn't

have it all on tape.

Long way from home, aren't you, mister?

You going somewhere special in a hurry?

Oh, I'm glad you came.

I'm very worried.

Things didn't go all well.

They liked my first answer.

But after that, I'm afraid I said some
nasty things about commercials.

It seemed to infuriate the gentleman
asking the questions.

I'm still not sure who he is. Quiet.

Okay, it's your turn now.

Did you ever have the feeling you'd been
here before?

It's very close in here. May I open a
window?

What's going on here, and why can't I
see you?

Here I am.

Look.

The sponsor.

What's that?

I smell gas.

Quiet.

Ladies and gentlemen, we now offer a
special message, after which Mr.

Hitchcock will attempt to return.

I'll bet you're surprised to see me. I
know I'm surprised to be here.

I received a last -minute reprieve, and
I learned something interesting about my

sponsor.

He doesn't like commercials either, but
the public demands them, so what's he to

do? Next week, he will offer three more
which promise to be enormous popular

successes. Be the first one in your
neighborhood to see them.

There'll also be a story. Until then,
good night.