Original subtitles

Good evening, fellow revelers.

Tonight we are indulging in an old city tradition.

It is the event that turns a mild -mannered white -collar worker into a

-armed beast of prey, the office party.

However, we had this room designed especially for the party by the girls in

office. It has no corners.

I am in charge of the entertainment.

which all should enjoy.

After most of the hors d 'oeuvres have been eaten, we're going to throw a

company director to the lions.

I realize it isn't much, but the lions are a great deal cheaper than the string

quartet we had last year.

They don't drink as much either.

And now for our party.

Mr. Courtney, there's so much noise in there. Do you think I could use your

phone? Certainly. Go right ahead, Shelly.

Anything wrong, my dear?

Oh, I was just rehearsing what I was going to say to my boyfriend.

Yes, of course.

Well, it's time I was getting home.

I hope you have a very nice Christmas, Shelley.

Thank you. Same to you, Mr. Courtney.

Good night.

Hello,

Charlie? Shelley.

Listen, I can't get a hold of Tony. I thought he might be with you. Tony?

You mean good old fun -loving Tony Gould?

Why, yes, I believe he is.

Hello, darling. I've been trying to get your apartment to the past hour. I

thought the office party would be over long ago.

Tony, you know why I'm calling.

Have you told your wife?

because if you haven't, I'm going to talk to her myself.

You mustn't do that. It won't be necessary. I've already told her.

I promised you I would, didn't I? Yes, but you made those promises so many

before. How did she take it?

Naturally, she was a little upset. She wasn't aware of the situation.

But she didn't get hysterical.

That's encouraging.

But she didn't really agree. That's what it amounts to, doesn't it?

Now, listen here, Tony.

If you don't tell her, I'm not going to wait any longer. I'm going to talk to

her right now.

If you'll just let me finish.

She did agree.

I made her understand it had to be this way.

Darling, it's all set.

Tony, that's wonderful.

The party's just about to break up, darling, so I'll be right over. Not

Charles is having a lot of people in for drinks. I'll tell you what.

Wait at the office and I'll come over and pick you up.

All right, Tony, but please hurry.

Goodbye.

Well, now what am I going to do?

I suspect the time has come for a clean break.

That's the trouble. It won't be clean.

Shelley's got an idea. I should divorce Gloria and marry her.

You know, the one unredeeming quality in women is their inability to keep their

emotions out of their love affairs.

I assume you have no intention of doing anything so impractical.

Well, you know, Gloria, any trouble, I'm out.

She just wouldn't stand for it.

Then you have no alternative but to give up this dreary little business with

Shelly and go back to your loving wife and her half million bucks.

I wish you'd tell me how.

That's all I could do tonight to keep Shelly from going out to the house.

Have you ever considered having her shanghaied aboard a ship going around

horn? That used to take two years.

Thanks. Call on me sometimes when you need help.

Sorry, Tony.

You seem to be caught in a classic dilemma for which no remedy has yet been

discovered. If you do find an answer, your name will go down in history along

with Galileo, Edison, and O'Shaughnessy. Who?

O'Shaughnessy. It was a bartender on Third Avenue whose immortal words were,

when everything appears lost, let's have a drink.

Seriously, Tony, if there's anything I can do, short of marrying Shelley

just let me know.

Sure.

We don't have to hide and pretend.

Of course.

Who's that?

Oh, probably the cleaning woman.

Lock it. But, darling, we don't have to hide.

Of course we don't. We don't want her leering at us. You know what she'll

Lock it.

What's the schedule? Are you going to get the divorce or is she?

She is.

How long will it take? Because I won't believe it until we're married.

Well, these things do take a little time, you know.

Well, of course, darling. It really doesn't matter.

Because the worst is over.

Now, let's leave New York right away.

Don't you think it would be a good idea to wait until we're absolutely sure

Gloria's going through with it?

Well, what do you mean, darling? I thought it was all settled.

Well, it is. I mean, she's agreed to it, but...

Well, she's the kind of woman who could change her mind overnight.

In hopes of getting you back.

She thinks that by making us wait, she's going to break us up. Oh, no, no, of

course not.

It was a shock to her.

She's always had everything she wanted. You just don't say no to Gloria.

She'd have to get on her high horse and not grant me the divorce at all.

What are you suggesting, Tony?

Well, I really think it would be a mistake for us to leave now. She would

consider it a slap in the face. I know, Gloria, you have to humor her.

Now, if I could stay around a while, I could convince her that it was her idea,

her own idea. She would divorce me like that.

How long will it take?

I don't know, a few weeks.

A couple of months.

It's the only way, darling, believe me.

I don't believe you, Tony.

You're always concerned about Gloria's feelings. You're never concerned about

mine. She had a chance to make you happy and she didn't. But I did, didn't I?

Of course, darling.

Now let's get out of here and have a drink.

It's Christmas.

I have to make a phone call first.

Mrs. Gould?

Mrs. Gould?

Hello?

What do you think you're doing?

I'm going to call her and tell her we're in love and you're not going to stop

me.

Manson be recognized.

John.

Tony, old comrade, the wassail bowl overflows, and where are you on this

occasion? Now, shut up and listen to me.

I'm in a jam.

In a jam? With Shelly?

Yes, with Shelly.

Well, what happened? She passed out on me. We're in her office building. You

know where that is, don't you?

Mm -hmm.

Well, we're locked in the office.

Locked in?

Yes, I broke the key off in the lock, and I've got to get out.

He's not here.

The building will be empty till the day after Christmas.

Well, worry not, my boy.

As soon as I get rid of my company here, old Charles will storm the fortress.

How long will it be before you can get here?

Well, I don't know.

Well, get rid of him.

Well, Tony, I can't just throw him out into the snow.

Charles, this is serious.

Yes, mon general, within the hour.

God rest you merry gentlemen.

Charles.

Where does the comma come in there?

Is it God rest you merry or merry gentlemen? I can never remember.

Don't tell me you haven't left yet.

I will ask you not to raise your voice to me, my good man. There are people

here. Drunk people.

I'm drunk.

Charles, don't you realize that I'm in trouble? Serious trouble. I've got to

out of here tonight.

I have no patience with you, Tony.

Here you are, a man richly endowed. You have a rich wife, a beautiful

girlfriend, and how do you spend Christmas Eve?

Like a hermit, locked up in an office.

And it's not even your office.

Wait a minute. There's somebody at the door. Hold the phone.

Charles!

Don't go away.

It's God rest you. Mary.

Mary? Mary, General.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

We're having open house, Charles. Come over for a drink.

Santa Claus. All righty.

You have the true Christmas spirit, my dear. Come on, come on. Let's go have a

drink. Let's have a drink. Come on.

Good morning.

Merry Christmas.

Hey, wait.

I didn't mean... I can explain.

I'm locked in here.

call a locksmith.

I'll pay him anything he asks.

This is an emergency.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

All right, open up. We know you're in there.

That's just the trouble, officers.

I can't open up.

I'm John Courtney, and I'm locked in my own office.

Well, how'd you come to lock yourself in? I was working last night, and I

the key in the lock, and I turned it. It broke it off. You can find it down

there on the lock, I think, on the floor.

Yeah, here it is, Mr. Courtney, but I don't think we can make it work. Well,

it, won't you?

Try the key, George.

Oh, that won't work. Too short.

I'll use my key.

Any luck?

No, you must have jammed the lock, Mr. Courtney.

Well, can't you break it?

Probably could, but it would wreck the door.

I don't care about the door. I'm freezing to death and I haven't had

eat in 24 hours. Okay, stand back. I want to get out of here.

Thank you, thank you, gentlemen. I certainly do feel foolish.

Well, these things happen more often than you'd think, Mr. Courtney. I was

beginning to think that I was going to be locked in there until my secretary

me out in the morning. Well, your secretary must have a key. Why didn't

phone her? The phone is out of order.

Well, you're going to catch it from your wife being out all night Christmas Eve.

No, she's in Europe. I want to give you gentlemen a little Christmas present.

No, it's all part of our job. Come on, Frank.

Can we drop you any place? No, thank you. I'll take a taxi. What? Oh, better

late than never. I see you gentlemen have the situation well. Come on. It

well. It ends well.

Charlie. Charlie.

Charlie. Come on.

There's nobody in there.

Charles, there's nobody in there.

Hey, Tony, she's really passed out.

Passed out?

This woman's not drunk, she's dead.

If you think Tony Gould is in trouble, you should have been at our party.

My fastidious friend here refused to eat the company director we had prepared

for him.

The other workers are furious.

Several of them were only one heartbeat away from a promotion.

It was all I could do to rescue Leo from the crowd.

People can be quite vicious once they get the smell of blood.

My friend here is taking me home with him tonight.

However, I shall be back again next time with another story.

Good night.