Original subtitles

Good evening, students of the macabre.

This evening's lecture has as its text the short story De Mortuis,

translated from the Latin.

This means about the dead.

At the risk of being facetious, I would like to point out that Latin is a

dead language.

Thank you.

It is rewarding to know that there are still a few students interested in

achieving high marks.

If you can't hear me in the back of the room, please raise your hand and adjust

the volume control.

Regrettably, the author wrote only his title in Latin and did the story in

English.

Writers are always compromising to attain commercial success.

I shall leave it to your judgment as to whether or not... It would have sounded

better in Latin.

Anybody home?

Hey, Prof!

Prof, fish are biting right now. What about it?

You in here?

I guess he's not home.

Well, I told you.

Car's not in the garage.

Coffee's percolating. Probably be back in a minute or two. You want to wait?

Sure. Maybe just went uptown for a couple minutes.

Let's have a cup of coffee.

All right.

That Irene ain't much of a housekeeper, is she?

I'll say.

I wonder where she is.

That's a good question.

He's going to find out about her sometime.

Somebody's going to tell him.

Sure.

I wonder what it'll do.

He's innocent.

He'd never suspect anything.

Such a nice guy that even if he did, he probably wouldn't do anything to him.

Probably not.

Here's the sugar.

Look.

Well, it's just a shame he ever married that dame he started out with. You know

that.

I wonder how it comes.

Well, it comes from a good family and all that.

Can't say she ain't a dish.

Nobody told him.

Well, of course, I didn't know him until after he married her.

Oh, he used to come into the bank, into my window a couple of times, in fact,

but you couldn't say I knew him.

You saw him in his house, didn't you?

That's right.

Well, why didn't you tell him?

I don't know. I just didn't.

I thought about it a couple of times, but, well, you know how it is. Yeah.

It's a funny thing.

You know a fella's gonna get stuck in a business deal.

You tell him.

But a woman... Well, even if we had told him, I doubt he'd have done much good.

How long they been married?

Well, he came here to college two years ago.

About a year and a half.

Well, it was last week I saw her. No, no, it was a week before. Anyway, school

was out.

And the prof was down at Columbus for the convention.

A week and a half ago, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, I went into Benny's to get a bite

to eat.

It's about 3 .42.

Can't do any better than that.

Yeah, but wait till this series with the Giants. They got a pitcher he can't

hit. Bring him way down.

Benny? Yeah. Hi.

Oh, let me have a package of cigarettes, will you? Sure.

And she came in.

This truck driver came in right behind her.

I'll have to admit he was a good -looking guy.

Let me have a beer, will you? Sure.

Uh, Benny, uh, let me have a cup of coffee, please. Right.

Is there anything doing in this town?

I'm supposed to pull out here at four o 'clock.

Hey, I haven't even started loading my truck yet. Looks like I'm stuck here

nothing to do.

Well, there's a ball game on Saturday.

Only this ain't Saturday.

Thank you.

What's the guy doing this time?

Bet he bets $325 for the season.

He'll never do it. But I wouldn't want to bet nothing on it.

Prof never did find out about it.

Hey, bud, sit down a minute.

Go sit down.

I want to tell you one.

Must have been about four years ago. Yeah, it was just before Marge and me

married.

A bunch of us were going down to Fowler's camp on the river, see?

And Irene had a date with Harry Bell.

Well, something came up, you know. He couldn't get there.

And there she was.

Irene without any date.

I'll bet that void the wise and the other gals. We never had it so good.

couldn't do enough for us.

Anyway, it was the last night there.

I woke up about three o 'clock in the morning.

Starving.

So I eased into the kitchen to see what I could find.

You hungry, too?

No, not especially.

I'm starved.

Now, let's see. What do we have in here?

Well, there's cheese. Do you want some cheese and milk?

No, I don't think so.

I guess I'll have a sandwich.

Oh, maybe I will have a glass of milk.

Hot night, isn't it?

Why don't we go outside and have a cigarette?

Sure.

I don't have any cigarettes. I better get some.

I'll wait for you on the porch.

Yeah.

Don't be long.

I'm home.

Will?

Will?

Oh, I never went out. I just went back to bed.

Well, I got nervous with Marge there and everything.

Let's get out of here.

He'll never show up. We could leave a note for him.

That's an idea.

You down there?

Yes.

Hey, Walter, here he is. He's in the cellar. He's been there all the time.

Hey, we've been waiting for you up there.

Did you hear us yell?

No, I was busy with this work. I just didn't hear anyone come in, sorry.

Hey, prof, what are you doing here?

Some water was coming up through the floor.

I thought I'd fix it, so I dug down around the base and filled it up with

cement. Water? There can't be any water. This is the best subsoil around here.

It's perfect drainage. I looked it up on the map before I sold you the place.

Water.

Well, maybe some underground spring opened up.

I expect this will stop it, though.

Oh, I'm afraid I should have called in a professional, though. I bet I'm sore

tomorrow.

Oh, I think I did a nice job, though, don't you?

Very smooth and professional, wouldn't you say?

Yep, sure is.

Spring. There's never been one in this section before.

Well, what are you worried about?

You sold them the place already, didn't you?

Hey, Prada.

We came to take you fishing.

Roy Jacks was out yesterday, and he says the fish were clawing at each other

trying to get to the hook first.

Ah, better not today. I have some things to do around here. Oh, come along.

Irene won't mind.

Oh, it's not that.

Matter of fact, she isn't even here today.

She's gone visiting.

To Evanston.

Catching the 11 o 'clock train.

To Evanston?

What's the matter with me? I didn't mean Evanston. It's Franklin.

Oh.

Friends there?

Mrs. Slater. She used to live next door to her when she was a kid over on

Sycamore Street.

Slater? On Sycamore?

Yeah, she was telling me about her last night.

Seems Mrs. Slater looked after her mother when she was in the hospital one

I don't remember anybody named Slater. Not next door to Irene.

It was a good many years ago.

There was nobody next door named Slater.

Oh?

Well, maybe this woman married again. Maybe it was a different name then.

Maybe so.

Time to feed the animals.

Now, don't step on my noosey, ma 'am. Well, I guess we may as well be getting

on. Oh, you're not going to catch any fish down here.

Say, Prof, what have you got over there?

It's a new experiment of mine.

With rats?

Well, that's very interesting.

What I'm trying to do is find out if there's a relation between disposition

nutrition. In particular, certain enzyme factors.

Now, this is my control pen here.

Now, they're getting a normal diet. All the rats in the experiment are from the

same strain, of course.

Well... What does Irene think about them? Don't they bother her?

No, no.

Well, they did at first, but they don't anymore.

What did you find out, prompt? Did you get any results?

Yeah, it's rather spectacular, in fact.

It's very exciting.

What I've done is withhold or add some of these different enzyme factors.

You'll notice some effect on growth, too, of course, but it's more than that.

Now here you see a whole family, three generations, all living together quite

happily. No fighting ever. In fact, they seem to be quite fond of each other and

like living in a group.

Now these are very timid, very retiring, non -aggressing. They're frightened by

anything. Noise, light, sudden movement.

Is that a fact?

Say, they do look scared, don't they? Yes.

But this is the interesting cage.

They've become so ferocious that each one must be penned separately.

Even male and female will attack each other instantly.

They're completely vicious.

You mean they try to kill each other?

Absolutely.

It's murder.

See, the rats in the smaller cages get what you might call more vitamins than

those in the larger cages.

Actually, they all receive pretty much of a balanced diet. It's the addition or

lack of the enzymes that makes the difference.

You say Irene left just before we got here? Mm -hmm.

We came down Main Street. We didn't see her.

Oh, I expect she took a shortcut across the field. She was walking. The car's in

the shop.

That's a tough walk with a suitcase.

Oh, she just had a couple of things in a bag.

Oh, pardon me, the phone.

Can you imagine?

The prof.

I can't believe it.

I know.

Me neither.

What are we going to do?

I don't know.

I hate to turn him in.

But murder.

I know.

Hello?

Swanson here at the bank.

Yes?

Sorry to have to bother you, but I'm afraid your account is overdrawn again.

Oh, I'm sorry.

How much is it?

It seems Mrs. Rankin cashed a couple of checks yesterday.

I see.

Well, I'll bring the money right over to cover it.

Thank you very much.

When did you find out?

Find out?

About Irene.

We should have warned you about her, Prof, before you ever married her.

I know a lot of people think Irene hasn't exactly been a perfect wife.

Then I'm pretty old for her.

I'm 51.

She's young.

She's full of life.

Skip it, Prof.

Skip it.

Not all people want the same things.

I'm a sort of a dry fella. I don't open up very easily.

And Irene, well, you'd say she was sort of carefree, wouldn't you? Look, Prof,

you don't have to... We know, see?

You don't have to pretend anymore. We found out.

I wish we hadn't. Puts us in an awful spot.

Darn right.

Of course, he was bound to find out sooner or later.

You remember what we said? Right here in this room?

While we were waiting for him? And do you realize, all the time he was down

there... What are you talking about?

We never should have let him marry her in the first place.

Somebody should have told him.

And I thought about it, and I just never did. Well, like I said.

You know, a fellow's going to get stuck in a business deal. Well, I never

thought a thing like this would happen. Well, of course not. Who did? Not with

him.

Hey, Prof.

Who was it you found out about anyhow?

Was it Langley or McCormick?

Or...

Both? No.

Neither of them.

Little prof.

The thing is, what are we going to do?

This puts us in an awful spot. See, what do we do?

I wish we hadn't come here in the first place.

So do I.

What is the business of being an accessory? That's serious.

Yeah, but he's our friend.

Look, Prof, we like you.

We don't want to see anything happen to you. Well, I know we don't want to turn

you in, but murder's murder.

And there's a law.

We're accessories.

What are you talking about?

Look, Prof, what happens if somebody gets suspicious?

What happens if they go down there and start to dig? What then?

You can't be sure they won't. You can't be sure.

Are you both insane?

What is it you're trying to say?

Do you actually believe that I... That Irene...

That's fantastic.

It's marvelous.

That's marvelous.

It's not that we blame you.

Well, we do, but I mean... If anybody had good reason, you did, I'll say that.

Sure, he knows that. We know it. The whole town knows it. But just try and

a jury believe it.

That's right.

And even if you did, they'd only say you should have divorced her, that's all,

instead of... And you should have.

That's the trouble. You shouldn't have done a thing like this.

But I didn't, I tell you!

Call the sheriff!

Oh,

what's the use?

What am I going to do?

That's right, Prof.

Forget about that down there. That's over.

The problem is, what are you going to do?

What are we going to do?

I don't know.

It's up to you, Wally. I can't turn him in. I just can't see a nice guy like him

hang for a dame like I... Neither can I.

Listen.

Maybe we aren't accessories after all.

We don't know anything.

We don't have any proof.

We don't necessarily have to have noticed anything, figured anything out.

Yeah, but that's just us.

Don't help the prof any if somebody starts snooping around down there in the

cellar when Irene don't show up. That's right. Listen.

When we came up the lane, it was empty, wasn't it?

Yeah.

Anyhow, nobody knows we went down to the cellar.

Right.

Prof.

Prof.

We never went down the cellar.

Remember. We came in here, we yelled for you, and then we cleared out, but we

never went down in the cellar.

All you have to say...

He said Irene went for a walk and she never came back. And don't give me that

phony stuff about her visiting people in Franklin.

We can swear we saw her heading out of town with some fellow in a truck.

Everybody will believe that.

Okay, we better clear out.

And remember now, stick to it.

We haven't been in a cellar and you haven't seen us today.

You better go down and clean up that pile of dirt right away.

Yoo -hoo!

Boo!

I'm back!

Irene? You back already?

Oh? Did you come back across the field?

Yes.

Wish our car was working so you could drive me over to the junction.

Yes, too bad.

Did you meet anyone coming back?

No. No, not a soul.

Aren't you finished with that old job yet?

to have to take it all up again.

Come down here. I'll show it to you.

All right. Just a second.

Well, what is it?

And so, just like many a Hollywood movie star, Irene Rankin was

immortalized in concrete.

But Professor Rankin was not so fortunate.

He remarried. His crime was later discovered, and he paid the supreme

I have asked one of the actors to come out after the show.

for I want to congratulate him on a splendid performance, and I'm sure you

too.

He played the most ferocious of the rats, a characterisation that was quite

departure for him.

Off stage, he's entirely different, as you can see.

He's a family man, never seen in the nightclubs.

He's just like the fellow who lives next door to you.

Thank you.

We have another story, but I'm afraid there isn't time enough to

present it. We'll have to do it next time.

Until then, good night.