Original subtitles

Oh, good evening.

I'm so glad you found me.

As you can see, our new quarters are rather modest, but we like the location

and thought the change might do us good also.

And now, if you don't mind, I would like to indulge in an old American custom.

No matter how busy they are or what the surroundings may be, Americans never

omit this quaint ritual.

If you don't care to join me, I think you'll find our play is about to begin

one of the lower shelves.

Be quiet!

They'd send her to an institution or they'd hang her.

We should have her moved away from here. It would be impossible.

I killed myself.

Oh, dear.

Oh, what shall we do?

Poor Millicent.

Oh, Millicent, how could you?

George, come here.

Over here, you idiot.

You want me to shout across the room at you?

How far did you get with your medical studies before they threw you out as

hopeless?

You know as well as I do.

Yes, but do you know enough?

Did they drive enough into your head so that you couldn't guess what any

competent doctor would be able to tell you about such a wound?

Well, it's a knock or a blow.

His head was battered in.

Now, could it be caused by a tile falling off the roof or a piece of the

Well, Governor, you see, it's like this.

Is it possible?

No.

Why not?

Because she hit him several times.

I can't stand it.

Why should such a terrible thing have to happen to us? You must stand it, my

dear.

Millicent, you must go over this again.

No, no. We must go over it again.

Perhaps you've forgotten something. One tiny irrelevant detail may save or ruin

us, particularly you.

Now.

I can't. I can't. Stop it, child. Stop it.

Now answer me.

You were in this table?

Yeah.

One moment, though.

Who knew that you were in love with this wretched schoolmaster?

No one.

I never said a word.

Don't worry, the whole darn village knows.

They've been sniggering about it in the plow for three years past.

Yes.

Very likely, very likely.

Nevertheless, somehow it must be covered up.

Our family has held a position of respect in this community for

do not intend to have that position destroyed by the stupidity of one

female.

Now, once more, you were in the old stable.

You were putting the croquet set back in the box.

Yes.

You heard someone crossing the yard.

Yes. It was Withers.

You called to him.

Yes.

Loudly.

Did you call loudly? Could anyone have heard you? Why did you exactly call him,

Father?

What did you do exactly?

Well, I... He saw me as I came to the door and he

just waved and came over.

How can I get out of you whether anyone was about?

Could he have been seen?

No. Anyone could see that it was just about to rain.

I suppose everybody was inside just then it began to pour.

And he came running to the stable door.

And you both stayed in the stables?

It was raining hard.

What did he say?

He said... Hello, Minnie.

And to excuse him for coming in that back way.

But he'd set out to walk over Bass Hill, hunting butterflies.

And he thought he would get in from the rain.

If I didn't mind.

Go on.

He said, parting the park, it's in the house, and thought of me.

Because he had something special to tell me.

Millicent, don't cry.

He said he'd been definitely up at the post of Science Master St.

Jones's.

And now he could marry.

And I thought he meant me.

Don't tell me what you thought.

Exactly what he said. No more. He said... Oh, dear.

Don't cry. It's a lecture you cannot afford. Now answer me.

He said it wasn't me.

It's Ella Brannon Davis.

And he was sorry and all that. And then he went to go.

And then?

I couldn't stand it.

He turned around and I had the croaking mallet in my hand and I... Oh, dear.

Did you scream or cry?

I mean when you hit him.

I just threw it down.

Did he?

No, I just threw it down.

I came into the house.

That's all.

I wish I was dead.

Yes, unfortunately, that wouldn't help matters now.

You met none of the servants.

No one would go into the stables.

You see, George, he probably told people he was going to Bass Hill.

Certainly no one will ever know that he came here.

He could have been attacked in the woods.

We must consider every detail.

A schoolmaster with his head battered in.

Don't, Father.

A schoolmaster with his head battered in is found in the woods.

Now, who'd want to kill withers?

Who'd kill withers?

I would with pleasure.

I say, I'm so sorry. I walk right in.

How did you do, Captain Smollett?

He heard you, Father. He heard you.

We all have our little jokes, you know.

Now, come, Madison. Don't pretend to be shocked.

Cigarettes, Molly?

No, thanks.

Just a theoretical little murder, you know.

We talk about thrillers in these days.

It would be justifiable homicide, I should say. Have you heard about Ella

Brangman Davis?

I should be laughed at.

Why?

Why should you be laughed at?

Had a shot in that direction myself.

She half said yes, too.

Didn't you hear?

She'd been telling people that we were practically engaged.

And now it'll look as if I've got turned down for a knobby -kneed clown with a

butterfly net.

Yes.

Yes.

I can quite see that that would make you feel rather bitter.

Oh, well, fortune of war, you know.

Sit down, Smollett.

Have a drink. Thank you.

Will you excuse us for a moment? I just remembered something. George and I have

something to see to.

Mother, medicine.

Take care of Captain Smollett until we get it back, will you?

If you won't be a moment.

Come along, George.

Are you wet?

Captain Smollett. Oh, just a bit. Nothing to bother about.

But you catch cold. You must have something to drink.

Good. Put it down there behind the door.

Now, we... We'd better get this out of sight in case Emily comes in.

Put it in there.

A rat.

Yes, that's it. We came to shoot a rat.

What are we doing, Governor?

I'm saving the family name.

Now, so far, you've done as you've been told.

Please continue to do so.

Well, I... I think that's everything.

Another drink, Captain Smollett? No, thank you. I think I... Are you sure you

wouldn't like another? You always have two.

Millicent. Well, do you want one or not? No, Millie.

She's overwrought, Captain Smollett. Yes, of course. I rarely think I'd

be. Oh, excuse me, my dear.

Smollett, will you care to see something rather interesting?

Why, yes, to be sure.

Good. Come along, then. Oh, uh... Thank you very much, Millicent.

Well, there's no hurry. Finish your drink.

It's all right. I'll finish it later.

Oh.

What? George and I came out here to shoot a rap that frightened Millicent

earlier this afternoon.

Of course, you may be shot by accident if you don't listen very carefully.

I mean that.

What's the matter with you, Princey? A very tragic thing occurred today. It'll

be even more tragic if things can't be smoothed over.

Huh? You heard me say, who'd kill Withers?

You also heard Millicent make a comment.

An unguarded comment.

Well, what of it?

Very little.

Unless you happen to hear that Withers met a very violent end earlier this

afternoon. And that, my dear Smollett, is exactly what you're going to hear.

What?

You... you killed him?

Millicent.

Good heavens.

Precisely.

You would have remembered and guessed.

Well, maybe.

Yes, I suppose I would.

So, my dear Smollett, you've become somewhat of a problem.

Why did she kill him? Oh, it's one of those disgusting things, rather pitiable

as a matter of fact.

She deluded herself into thinking that he was in love with her.

Oh, of course.

And then he told her about the Brangwyn Davis girl.

I see.

Now, I have no wish that she should be proved insane or a murderess.

I could hardly live here after that, could I?

No, I suppose not.

On the other hand, you know about it.

Ah, I see.

You're wondering if I can keep my mouth shut.

But I promise, sir. I'm wondering if I could believe you. No, but if I

If things went smoothly, yes.

But if there were any sort of suspicion, any questioning, you would be afraid of

becoming an accessory.

Oh, I don't know.

I do.

What are we going to do about it, Smollett? I can't think of anything

You'd never be such a fool as to do me in.

I mean, you can't get rid of two corpses.

I regard it as a better risk than the other.

Could be an accident.

Or you and Withers might both disappear.

There are possibilities in that.

Now, look here. You can't. As a matter of fact, there is a way out. You

suggested yourself.

Oh, did I? What was it? You said that you'd kill Withers. You had a motive.

I was joking.

You're always joking. People think there's something behind it.

Now, look here, Smollett.

I can't trust you.

Therefore, you must trust me.

Go on.

There's a sewer there.

We're going to put Withers' body into it.

Now, remember, no outsider knows that he came here this afternoon.

Nor would you ever dream of looking there for it unless you tell them.

But you're going to give me evidence that you murdered Withers.

What? Why should I?

So that I may be dead sure that you'll never open your lips on the matter.

If you don't, I shall shoot you now, this next minute.

Now, you can choose between living or dying.

What evidence?

George.

Hit him hard in the face.

Oh, don't.

Here, now, wait.

Again,

don't lose your knuckles.

I'm sorry, Smollett.

There must be traces of a struggle between you and Withers.

Then it will hardly be safe for you to go to the police.

Why won't you take my word?

I will when I'm finished.

George, pick up that crooked mallet. Use your handkerchief.

Now, grasp the handle firmly this moment.

I'll shoot you if you don't.

Now,

George.

Pull two hairs out of his head.

Now, attach them firmly around the buttons.

On Withers' coat sleeve.

Now, Pallet.

Pick up that grating over there.

Go on.

Now, Withers' body's in there.

Get hold of it.

By the boots. Drag it through and dump it in the sewer.

I shan't touch him. Stand back, George.

Now, wait. Wait about.

Oh, no, I...

Put back the reading.

Now, you see, my dear fellow, everything is perfectly safe.

No one knows that Withers came here and that he went walking on Bass Hill.

There's five miles of country to inspect. Nobody will ever think of

him in our sewer.

So you see, don't you, how perfectly safe it is?

Oh, absolutely. As I'm sure I shall never give it another thought.

Shall I call Mr.

Princey, ma 'am? Oh, no, no.

That is, he'll be here in a moment, Jane. Don't... Oh, look, my dear. We

the stable to shoot a rat and found Captain Smollett.

Oh, now, don't be offended, old fellow.

Oh, do sit down, all of you, and have your tea.

Millicent, come closer to me so that George can sit.

Captain Smollett, do sit down.

You've bruised your lip.

You... I just knocked it.

Oh, too bad.

How did you do it?

Would you like me to have Jane bring you something for it?

Now, look here.

I mean, please don't trouble us, all right?

Very well, Jane.

That's all.

Smollett's being very kind, my dear.

He knows all about our trouble.

We can rely upon him.

We have his word.

Oh, have you, Captain Smollett?

You are good.

He'll tell. I know he'll tell, Father.

Listen, go to your room and stay there. I can't stand to sight of you anymore.

But, Father,

I haven't had my tea yet.

Well, go without your blasted tea.

I think I'll go along now. It's stopped raining.

Oh, must you?

Now, look here, my dear. There's nothing to worry about. They'll never find

anything here.

All we have to do from now on is to keep our heads and our problems are solved.

Oh, Captain Smollett, you are a nobleman.

A noble man.

Yes, all we have to do is to keep calm. Perfectly calm. Just forget the whole

thing. Why not sit and have another drink, Smollett, won't you?

No, thank you. No, I think I'll get along.

Oh, well, if you really must.

Good evening.

Now, pay attention, please.

I have a word of you to say.

We'll have to have the medicine down again, I'm afraid. George, go and get

sister.

Dear, do you really think... Is it really all right?

Certainly it is.

There are a few things that I have to go over with the three of you.

Well? I told her. Come and sit down, Madison.

And please sit quietly.

And try and control your appetite until I have finished. I do not want to

compete for your attention with a sandwich.

Now, listen to me.

We can't be certain, of course, that our connection with the disappearance of

Mr. Withers will never come to the attention of the police.

We must be prepared for any such contingency. So, in case we are ever

in the matter, this is what has happened.

George and I went down to the stables to shoot a rat.

It was a nuisance in the rain, but Millicent insisted.

You know I'm not afraid of rats.

Well, you are now.

Now, we were surprised to find our friend Captain Smollett waiting in the

stables. Now, you'll recall that the first time he was here was before Jane

served tea.

So she didn't know that he was here at that time.

That's right. She didn't see him.

Now, Smollett explained that he was in the stables because he ducked in to

a particularly heavy shower.

So naturally, we brought him to the house for tea.

You understand?

Oh, yes, of course, dear.

Oh, I know they'll come. I know they will. They'll find him. If you can't

control yourself until I have finished, I shan't allow you to have any more tea.

I say, you certainly have taken care of things neatly.

Airtight, what? Yes, he is thorough, isn't he?

He hasn't overlooked a thing.

You think so?

It's fortunate we don't have to depend upon you for our security, I must say.

But I don't see how it could be any neater.

I mean, Smollett will never tell himself. That's certain enough.

But even if they do find the cadaver is discovered sometime... If it is

discovered. You see?

Leaving things to chance. Pure chance. The same sloppy approach that you've

always had, George.

Supposing Smollett were away when it were discovered.

Supposing he had skipped the country.

Well, I didn't think he'd do a thing like that.

Probably not. Not enough imagination, I dare say.

But I don't intend to take a chance on any such thing.

That is a careless, slovenly way of doing things with which I have no

But dear, what else can you do?

Now listen closely and remember.

Just a moment ago, after Captain Smollett left, we went back to the

shoot the rat.

We noticed that the cover to the sewer was somewhat ajar.

And as you, George, lifted it into place, I glanced in...

and made a ghastly discovery.

Now, is that perfectly clear?

Yes, but I don't understand.

Well, get me to the police station in Bastille, please, quickly.

Hello, is that the police station?

Oh, this is Mr.

Princey of Abbots Lockston.

I'm afraid something rather terrible has happened.

You send somebody up here at once, please.

Well, I... I believe that should cover everything.

I hope you let this be an example to you, my boy.

It's a rare problem and won't yield to a little thought and patience.

But we must be very careful never to leave any loose ends dangling.

You see, that's the thing.

A little tea, Mother, please.

I presume that story was intended to illustrate that blood is thicker than

water. I always find it heartwarming to see a family standing shoulder to

shoulder in the face of adversity.

Unfortunately, the authorities were not thrilled by this sight and were seen

tossing about such phrases as obstructing justice, accessory after the

murder in the first degree. Very nasty.

The princes received substantial sentences.

You see, unfortunately, Captain Smollett didn't play the game.

When the police arrived, he insisted on his innocence, thus confusing poor

Millicent to such an extent that she re -enacted the crime with her father as

the victim.

Broke the croaking mallet, too.

I believe I'll have another.

There's no more vermouth. Oh, well.

Fortunately, I still have plenty of olives.

That was exceedingly dry.

Next week, we shall be back at the same old stand.

Please drop in again.

Good night.