Original subtitles

And finally, the top Liberty Middle School scandal of the week. The Honor

Society claimed that their car wash was a huge success.

It wasn't.

Oh, yeah!

This is Webmaster X signing off.

Rory, you do drugs?

No? For a second there, this all made sense.

I'm shooting a segment for my webcast.

Webmaster X.

Yeah,

you know, I was going to call you a loser, but you saved it with the arm

So how many hits do you get?

That's the thing. I'm kind of in trouble building a following.

You think it's because you're reporting on car washes and a monkey mask?

Dude, you've got to spice things up if you want to get paying customers.

Paying customers?

No, my website's free.

Not anymore, partner.

Step aside.

What are you doing? I'm rigging you up a pay website.

That's right. I need some quick money for an investment that went sour.

What'd you invest in?

Pistons by three.

I probably shouldn't have bet all next semester's tuition money, but come on,

three!

So excited for the dance this weekend, aren't you?

Well, you know, I don't have the best experiences at school dances.

Last one I went to, I spent most of the night with my face in the toilet.

You weren't drinking, were you?

No, but I think the senior holding my head down was.

You know, can't we just go see a movie instead?

Jeremy, don't take this the wrong way, but hobbits are stupid.

See, if you just read the book... I'm stupid.

I gotta go with Jeremy.

Hobbits are not stupid.

Hey, she's got a name, okay?

family won the cake at church for gospel trivia. Thank you.

Anyway, we can't eat it because it has gluten in it. Oh, Beth, is your mom

trying to fatten me up?

Actually, yeah. She thinks now that you're single, you're a distraction to

Yeah, that's super.

Hi, Carrie.

Hi, Kyle. Hi, Bridget. Hi, Latest.

Latest? Oh, she didn't tell you she's had others? Like my brother, Donnie. And

he was handsome and sensitive.

And yet pecks that look like they'd been carved out of marble.

Should you be talking about your brother like this?

No, it's okay. We're all adopted.

Anyway, she dumped Donnie and broke his heart like every other guy she's ever

dated. But I'm sure it'll be different for you. Good luck.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, keep your shirt on.

Hi. Is Kate here?

I'm Judy McKenna with the PTA.

Yeah, well, there for a minute, I thought our mailman got a hell of a lot

prettier.

Is that Judy?

Would you like a drink? What are you, a Scotch girl?

Judy, I'm sorry. I missed the meeting. I forgot to call, but I had to work late

again. You know what happens when you miss the meeting, Kate. They elected me

officer.

Congratulations, recording secretary.

Here are your minutes.

A brandy.

How about a brandy, Judy?

Dad, she doesn't want a drink. Is your name Judy?

The main thing that we talked about was how inappropriate the dancing has

become. So the PTA has voted to outlaw provocative dancing.

What would that look like, Judy?

Have you seen some of the moves that they do?

Oh, I tell you, the kids today, I don't know where they get their values.

Genitonic?

Give it up, Custer. You're like 100.

Chardonnay for the ladies.

I think I'll be going now. Ooh, uh, you want me to walk to your car?

Okay, sure. What a gentleman.

Take it easy, Scarlett. I just need a ride to my dorm.

Hi, Carrie.

Look, the PPA has outlawed suggestive dancing, so watch it at the dance. What?

That's ridiculous.

Dancing is a form of expression.

The First Amendment protects anyone who wants to dance like this or like this.

Yeah, easy for you to say.

Oh, I don't care what they think. I am going to dance however I want. I just

think you're missing the important issue here. What? Beth Doyle was mean to me.

I mean, I have real feelings for Jeremy. Bridget, get over it. You're fickle.

Sure, you're madly in love with Jeremy, but you were also madly in love with

Donnie when Damien came along.

Damien? I have no idea who you're talking about.

Hey.

Hey.

So what time do I want to pick you up on Saturday?

Is she spoken for?

Yes, I am spoken for.

So under no circumstances are you ever to call me at this phone number.

And if this number is busy, this phone number.

And if this number is busy, this cell phone number. And if you ever come to

address on Oakdale Avenue, well...

You'll be swept into some very hot water, mister.

And I mean hot.

Okay, yeah, I admit, I may have been drawn to Damien's devil daycare

but Jeremy and I connect on a way higher level. We have so much in common. When

we talk about books, that he's read.

Besides, I heard Damien moved away.

So you have no feelings for Damien at all? I'm so over him.

Good. Because I heard he just moved back.

And finally, we have a Webmaster exclusive.

Brian Munson and Megan Gibbs played a little tonsil hockey last night.

Yes, the same Brian Munson who dates Megan's best friend, Ashley Cook.

Megan, you got some splaining to do.

Signing off, this is Webmaster X.

Nice, much better.

Little Cosmo girl, but I like it.

So who's your source?

I got it from Bridget's diary.

Whoa.

Wait a second.

You went into your sister's room, stole her diary, and broadcast it on the

internet?

Oh, yeah.

Dude, pretty soon you're not going to need me.

I'm worried about chemistry.

Okay, look, I know Damien is back in town. Yes, we had great chemistry, but

so over.

No, I meant I'm worried about my chemistry test.

But thanks, now I'm worried about your old boyfriend instead.

Carrie, get that.

I'm busy. Let the machine pick up.

Hey, it's Damien.

I've been looking for you.

Sorry I missed you.

Well, I gotta go meet up with my posse.

Call me.

Bridge, Jamie, and call.

Well, I gotta go.

No, Jeremy, wait, it's not what it seems. Hot guys leave messages for me

time.

No, seriously, I gotta go meet up with my, uh, posse.

Ooh, chess club?

Oh, I get it. The nerd goes to chess club.

and Rocket Club.

None of your business.

Hey, I'm watching that.

What's wrong with you? A hawk try to scoop you up again?

I'm looking for some new dance moves, you know, to tick off the morality,

please.

Really?

Well, why didn't you come to the Master of Dance after?

All right, don't beg. You'll get to see a few.

Start out with a little thriller.

That's a fun one. Then you go in a little MC Hammer to shake it up a bit.

Stop.

Stop.

And you little Missy Elliott to get a little nasty.

CJ.

CJ. Hey.

Hi. So if anyone asks you to dance like that, you say no. I mean, this is

serious. You saw Footloose. Hey, I got your back.

Thanks,

CJ, but we got it covered.

and I are going to chaperone the dance.

You're chaperoning the dance? Why?

Well, because I want to stay more involved.

Eh, Judy could use an extra hand.

Yes, I was calling Damien back.

It would be rude not to.

Everyone knows I always return my messages.

Stop grilling me!

still like him. No, I just wanted to hear his voice.

And the guitar.

What guitar?

You don't hear.

Oh, my God.

Carrie, what is happening to me? I'm so mixed up. I'm with this fantastic guy,

and then Damien has to come back into my life. And someone stole my diary.

Bridget, it's not your fault you're fickle.

I am not. In fact, I'm only thinking of Jeremy, starting now.

Okay, starting now.

Dude, we're way down on hits.

At this rate, I'll never get out of debt.

That's your problem.

I'll have to drop out of college and move back in here.

That's my problem.

Don't panic, awkward stage.

There's got to be something juicy in Bridget's diary to get our customers

Let's see.

Today, our cousin CJ came to stay with us.

He's, like, totally creepy and smells like mold.

Blah, blah, blah. I so hate her.

Blah, blah, blah. I so love my hair.

Here's something.

Today, Ashley heard about Megan kissing Brian Munson.

Ashley's so upset, she's gonna kick Megan's ass at the dance tonight.

Oh, my God. Bingo. That's it.

We broadcast a live chick fight on the Internet with this little baby.

Where'd you get that?

In the Army.

They let you take stuff when you leave.

Combs, duffel bags.

Million dollar top secret spy cameras.

Boots, trail mics, yeah.

All we got to do is get this into the dance somehow.

Come on, Dad. We're going to be late for the dance.

I'm coming, I'm coming. Grandpa, we got something for you.

Well, thank you, Rory.

Kind of sissy of you, but thank you.

No thank you, Grampy Cam.

Look at

all these lemmings. I can't believe these people are actually listening to

PTA.

No bumping. No grinding.

And no chicken dancing.

Coward.

Bye, guys.

Honey, I am sorry that your grandfather and I are chaperones.

And I'm sorry, Kyle, that it makes it harder for you to put the moves on my

daughter. Hey, you're just doing your job. And I'm doing mine.

Okay, Kyle, I'm not kidding.

You know, I don't really need this cane. It's just a walking stick.

Oh, it's nice, Nancy.

Oh, sure, sure.

Are you having a good time?

Yes. I have to admit that I am. Well, then say it.

Don't make me. Yes, say it right now. Come on.

Okay.

This dance is better than the Battle of Mordor.

Wow, I must like you a lot. I mean, I never say anything disparaging about the

rings.

I need punch.

to him.

Yeah.

Damien.

It's just a motorcycle. It doesn't mean that it's Damien's motorcycle.

Damien's outside.

Bridget, he wants to see you.

Well, if he wants to see me, why doesn't he just come inside?

He says tough guys don't dance.

Then why doesn't he sleep?

He says tough guys don't leave.

So you know I have a boyfriend?

He says tough guys don't care.

And if you want my opinion... Child, punch, now.

Hey. No girl's gonna... Now!

Right.

All right, Carrie, cover for me. I'll be right back, okay? Bridget!

What are you doing? You're just gonna leave Jeremy here? I have to see Damien

and make sure there's nothing there, okay? I owe it to Jeremy. I mean, it'd

unfair if I didn't go out and see Damien right now.

Unfair and inconsiderate.

Wow.

Jeremy's a lucky, lucky guy.

I hope I don't feel anything for Damien, but I have to make sure.

Bridget, where are you going?

Nowhere! God, will everyone just get off my back?

You're still here?

Do you know who's waiting outside?

For you? On a motorcycle?

Damien?

You are, like, scary smart.

Maybe I can explain all of this. No, you don't have time to explain. Tough guys

don't wait around forever.

But wait, this is the good part.

Look, Bridget, if there's someone outside that you need to talk to, you

ahead.

But just remember, you know, smart guys don't wait around forever either.

Of course.

You know, smart guys will wait around a little bit longer than tough guys.

Bridget?

Bridget?

Yeah?

You okay?

Yes.

Let's go dance.

Sure.

This chick fight doesn't happen.

Then you're going to have to explain to your classmates why you made them pay to

see your grandpa go to the bathroom five times.

And here it comes.

Chick fight in five, four, three, two, one.

You enjoying the dance, Miss McKenna? Why, yes, Jim. Please call me Judy.

What's he doing? Grandpa, turn your body. You're missing it.

Oh, my God. It's either Miss McKenna or the bath.

I'm not giving the money back.

what your daughter is doing.

Information keeps shocking me.

Rory, you are so dead.

Dude, you are so dead.

They could get an itty -bitty camera in there.

I'll be damned.

Well, I guess if they can get a snapshot of my colon, maybe.

So, Carrie, about this dancing.

I'll never dance like that again. Oh, no, no, no. I was going to say, I didn't

realize you were such a great dancer.

You know, I did this so that I could be more involved.

But you do realize that they will now never let me chaperone a dance again.

Thank you.

I had a really good time tonight.

Well, actually, it kind of seemed like you were someplace else all night.

mean damien was outside and i didn't go out to see him i stayed with you well

that's one interpretation another is that you stayed with me because he left

potato potato look all that matters is that we're together now well let me just

ask you one question and i swear i'll never bring it up again do you still

feelings for damien

I think I just got my answer.

No, wait. What are you doing?

Look, Bridget, you didn't get on Damien's motorcycle tonight.

But another night, another motorcycle?

You don't know what's going to happen. You can't tell me how I'm going to feel.

I don't know a lot about girls, okay?

But I did see that look on your face when you found out Damien was outside

waiting for you.

I mean, you never gave me that look.

Oh, no?

What are you doing?

Giving you that look.

Nope, that's not it.

That's not it either.

Listen, Bridget, before you can be in a real relationship, I think you have some

stuff you need to work out.

This is not how Beth Doyle said it would end.

But can I still bring my laundry by tomorrow?

I'm kidding. I'll see you at dinner.

Hey, are you okay?

Jeremy dumped me.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I can't believe it. I'm all alone.

I've never been all alone.

Oh, no, honey.

Uh -uh. You're not alone.

Come here.

Mama's steaming. Get off! Get off!

Gee, that didn't take long.

Hey.

Hey.

That tough guys don't wait around forever.

We don't.

Let's go.

What's wrong?

I don't hear guitars anymore.

Oh, no?

There's nothing sexy about a hard -boiled egg.

There is if you're deathly allergic.

Good night, Damien.

Got smart guys waited around.