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1
00:00:12,119 --> 00:00:13,280
As usual.
2
00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:19,520
At least he didn't tell us to take the
bus.
3
00:00:19,780 --> 00:00:22,260
If you're not ready in five minutes,
you're taking the bus.
4
00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:25,200
Kids, are you ready?
5
00:00:26,080 --> 00:00:27,080
Almost.
6
00:00:28,140 --> 00:00:29,140
I'm ready.
7
00:00:30,340 --> 00:00:33,900
Richie, why did you spill grape juice
all over yourself?
8
00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:36,140
Because red orange juice.
9
00:00:38,060 --> 00:00:39,740
Come on, let's do this. Listen, baby.
10
00:00:40,480 --> 00:00:42,520
It's them,
11
00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:47,100
my bell.
12
00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:48,480
Wow,
13
00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:54,500
you look stunning.
14
00:00:55,420 --> 00:01:01,800
Why, if I were a couple years older, we,
well... Oh, stop.
15
00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:04,519
I got pantyhose older than you.
16
00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:09,980
Where is everyone?
17
00:01:10,380 --> 00:01:11,380
Getting ready for church.
18
00:01:11,500 --> 00:01:12,500
Oh.
19
00:01:16,980 --> 00:01:18,220
What's the matter, sugar?
20
00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:22,400
Well, I guess I'm just jealous, that's
all.
21
00:01:22,620 --> 00:01:23,620
How come?
22
00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:28,460
Well, it's just that every Sunday I
watch you Winslows put -put off the
23
00:01:28,460 --> 00:01:29,460
in your gremlin.
24
00:01:30,660 --> 00:01:33,320
And, well, I wish I could tag along.
25
00:01:34,460 --> 00:01:36,120
Doesn't your family go to church?
26
00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:40,760
Oh, no. My parents' Sunday routine
hasn't varied since they were juniors at
27
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:45,860
You see, we all get up at dawn and do
the New York Times crossword puzzle in
28
00:01:45,860 --> 00:01:46,860
ink.
29
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:52,380
Then we hop on over to the behavioral
sciences lab for an hour -long soak in
30
00:01:52,380 --> 00:01:53,560
sensory deprivation tank.
31
00:01:55,120 --> 00:02:00,060
Well, now, Steve, you are more than
welcome to come to church with us, and
32
00:02:00,060 --> 00:02:01,600
can sit right next to me.
33
00:02:02,060 --> 00:02:03,039
In a pew?
34
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,040
With you?
35
00:02:04,620 --> 00:02:05,620
Will do.
36
00:02:09,100 --> 00:02:11,400
Maybe I didn't make myself clear.
37
00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:14,200
We are late for church!
38
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:16,160
Let's go now!
39
00:02:20,180 --> 00:02:24,040
Good news, everybody.
40
00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:26,980
Steve is coming with us.
41
00:02:28,920 --> 00:02:30,400
Come on, Judy, change the dress.
42
00:02:41,550 --> 00:02:47,970
It's a rare condition this day and age
to read any good news on the newspaper
43
00:02:47,970 --> 00:02:53,970
page. The love and tradition of the
grand design, some people say, is even
44
00:02:53,970 --> 00:02:55,390
harder to find.
45
00:02:56,530 --> 00:03:02,390
Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these gentle walls.
46
00:03:03,710 --> 00:03:10,250
Because all I see is a tower of dreams,
real love bursting out of everything.
47
00:03:28,700 --> 00:03:35,360
This room for you, room for me, for
gentle hearts and opportunity.
48
00:04:13,710 --> 00:04:14,710
We'll be right back.
49
00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:46,110
usually shout out amen or hallelujah.
50
00:04:46,370 --> 00:04:49,770
Oh, thanks for telling me I was just
about to start the wave.
51
00:04:52,710 --> 00:04:54,090
My, my, my.
52
00:04:54,310 --> 00:04:58,310
The walls of this old church are
vibrating with good music today.
53
00:05:20,430 --> 00:05:22,290
Carry on. Thank you.
54
00:05:23,150 --> 00:05:29,870
As you all know, Sister Franford, our
former choir director, has decided to
55
00:05:29,870 --> 00:05:32,410
pursue her musical career full -time.
56
00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:33,790
Oh, yeah!
57
00:05:34,050 --> 00:05:35,050
Amen.
58
00:05:35,630 --> 00:05:38,230
Singing back up to ZZ Top.
59
00:05:39,810 --> 00:05:46,390
Our new choir director will be Sister
Rachel Cross.
60
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:56,760
I'll think about it and get back to you.
But Gospel Sunday is only two weeks
61
00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:57,760
away. I accept.
62
00:05:57,940 --> 00:06:02,520
And I promise that this year's Gospel
Sunday will be the most fun day.
63
00:06:02,700 --> 00:06:06,040
Excellent. I will lead this choir to new
heights of perfection.
64
00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:10,260
Wonderful. I publicly pledge in front of
this entire congregation that I will
65
00:06:10,260 --> 00:06:11,480
leave no stone unturned.
66
00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:13,580
Yeah. We get the picture.
67
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:21,540
Now, as I look out upon the
congregation, it makes me feel happy.
68
00:06:22,060 --> 00:06:23,700
to see a few new faces. Yes.
69
00:06:24,020 --> 00:06:30,780
So if anyone feels a need to speak
within their heart, stand up and
70
00:06:35,780 --> 00:06:42,720
Young man, I take it you have something
to say. Yes, your pastorship.
71
00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:47,500
Pastor people, regular people.
72
00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:51,420
My name is Stephen Q. Urkel.
73
00:06:53,900 --> 00:06:56,420
Felt like there was something missing in
my life.
74
00:06:56,720 --> 00:07:02,060
Now I know it seems like I've got
everything going for me. Intelligence.
75
00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:05,780
Killer good looks.
76
00:07:06,340 --> 00:07:09,440
And a wonderful woman who's wild about
me.
77
00:07:09,980 --> 00:07:10,980
Touching, sorry.
78
00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:18,360
But today I've learned that those things
were merely foolish props.
79
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,720
tries to cover the baldness of his head
with that mail -order rug.
80
00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:35,620
It's about time somebody pointed that
out.
81
00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:39,700
I was looking for love, Karen, and
jokes.
82
00:07:40,700 --> 00:07:44,000
Well, this place is chock full of those
things.
83
00:07:45,260 --> 00:07:52,240
So, I'm happy to say that a few minutes
ago, I opened my heart
84
00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:53,960
and invited the Lord in.
85
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:55,200
Well, amen!
86
00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:58,099
This is it.
87
00:07:58,100 --> 00:07:59,320
This is what it is.
88
00:08:29,290 --> 00:08:31,630
What do you say after choir rehearsal?
89
00:08:32,270 --> 00:08:34,830
You, me, movie?
90
00:08:35,610 --> 00:08:38,130
You, me, never.
91
00:08:42,070 --> 00:08:44,270
Eddie, you couldn't pick up a girl if
she had handles.
92
00:08:46,890 --> 00:08:47,890
Hi, everybody.
93
00:08:48,490 --> 00:08:49,490
Oh, hi, Carl.
94
00:08:49,950 --> 00:08:50,950
What's in the box?
95
00:08:51,190 --> 00:08:53,390
Oh, um, just a hat.
96
00:08:54,930 --> 00:08:56,330
Is that a present for Rachel?
97
00:08:57,250 --> 00:08:58,250
Maybe, maybe not.
98
00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:00,320
Are you trying to get the big solo?
99
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,120
Maybe, maybe not.
100
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,560
Carl Winslow, you're sucking up.
101
00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:08,120
Yeah, so?
102
00:09:08,300 --> 00:09:10,560
Well, it's sneaky, underhanded, and
dishonest.
103
00:09:11,180 --> 00:09:12,180
Hi, Harriet.
104
00:09:12,220 --> 00:09:15,940
Hey, thanks for the new necklace. It
must have cost you a fortune.
105
00:09:19,180 --> 00:09:22,420
All right, everyone, coffee break is
over. Can we check our places, please?
106
00:09:24,740 --> 00:09:28,140
Oh, Rachel, Rachel, un momento, s 'il
vous plaît.
107
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:31,580
Steve, what are you doing here?
108
00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:34,620
Well, I'd like to join the choir if it's
okay with you, Rachel.
109
00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:37,960
Well, I suppose. Why don't you squeeze
in there with the tenors? Okay,
110
00:09:37,980 --> 00:09:47,500
everyone,
111
00:09:47,700 --> 00:09:49,460
we'll start with Oh, Happy Day.
112
00:10:03,850 --> 00:10:04,850
Hyena hootenanny.
113
00:10:06,130 --> 00:10:09,570
Steve, perhaps I was a little hasty. Why
don't you step forward and sing for me,
114
00:10:09,590 --> 00:10:10,630
please? Oh, certainly, Charles.
115
00:10:12,310 --> 00:10:13,690
Oh, happy day!
116
00:10:15,570 --> 00:10:17,090
Oh, happy day!
117
00:10:17,770 --> 00:10:20,210
Steve? Oh, happy day!
118
00:10:21,030 --> 00:10:22,030
Steve?
119
00:10:25,190 --> 00:10:26,510
It's not a happy day, Steve.
120
00:10:26,970 --> 00:10:27,970
Oh,
121
00:10:28,570 --> 00:10:31,370
you're way off key. Let's see if a pitch
pipe will help you, okay?
122
00:10:31,570 --> 00:10:32,710
Why don't you try this?
123
00:10:33,150 --> 00:10:34,150
Okay, here we go.
124
00:10:37,990 --> 00:10:39,890
Steve, you're not listening, honey.
Listen to it now.
125
00:10:43,070 --> 00:10:44,690
Steve, listen to it.
126
00:10:49,730 --> 00:10:50,730
Steve,
127
00:10:54,250 --> 00:10:55,850
we have a major problem here.
128
00:10:56,250 --> 00:10:57,990
Maybe you could come back when your
voice has changed.
129
00:10:59,050 --> 00:11:00,050
It already did.
130
00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:08,860
Steve, I'm sorry, but Gospel Sunday is
very important, and I just can't let you
131
00:11:08,860 --> 00:11:09,860
be in the choir.
132
00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:12,500
Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, Rachel.
133
00:11:13,220 --> 00:11:14,640
He just joined.
134
00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:15,920
Give him a chance.
135
00:11:16,340 --> 00:11:22,120
Excuse me, but will everyone who is
directing this choir please raise their
136
00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:23,120
baton?
137
00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:31,200
Well, that's settled. Now, Steve, your
hymnal, please.
138
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:35,160
Okay.
139
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:37,260
Now, look, I know we've been rehearsing
this song for six hours, but it's losing
140
00:12:37,260 --> 00:12:38,260
its freshness.
141
00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:40,540
Yeah, people, let's perk it up.
142
00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:44,760
Marge. Yes?
143
00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:49,700
Just sing from your diaphragm, not your
sinuses.
144
00:12:50,740 --> 00:12:54,380
And, Brother Spencer, slap some polygrip
on those choppers.
145
00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:57,280
Sound like a pair of castanets.
146
00:12:57,640 --> 00:13:00,860
Rachel, zip it, Harriet. We got work to
do here.
147
00:13:02,570 --> 00:13:07,790
now once more, and this time, see if you
can follow my baton.
148
00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:36,160
86 that too.
149
00:13:37,460 --> 00:13:42,760
Rachel, you can't do that. I bought you
a hat.
150
00:13:43,380 --> 00:13:47,400
I can do whatever I want, Mr. Winslow,
because I am the choir director.
151
00:13:48,460 --> 00:13:49,700
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
152
00:13:50,300 --> 00:13:54,880
Problem? If Tom's not singing the solo,
then who is?
153
00:13:55,960 --> 00:14:01,140
Well, I am. Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey.
154
00:14:01,660 --> 00:14:04,540
Now look, Marge and I have the best
voice.
155
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:07,160
So I flipped a coin, and I won.
156
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:09,800
Hey, now look.
157
00:14:10,740 --> 00:14:14,760
I am in charge here. That is why I have
the baton.
158
00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:10,100
get so good at checkers?
159
00:15:10,380 --> 00:15:13,100
Practice. Fortunately, when I was young,
I had no friends.
160
00:15:15,980 --> 00:15:19,100
Steve, did you tell your parents that
you went to church?
161
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:20,440
Oh, yeah.
162
00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:21,720
How'd they take it?
163
00:15:22,340 --> 00:15:26,340
You see, my father demanded to know how
with my scientific training, I could
164
00:15:26,340 --> 00:15:27,259
believe in God.
165
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,740
After all, I can't touch, see, or feel
him.
166
00:15:30,020 --> 00:15:36,180
But I pointed out that I can't touch,
see, or feel an Adam either, but I
167
00:15:36,180 --> 00:15:37,079
it exists.
168
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:38,080
You're right.
169
00:15:38,350 --> 00:15:39,510
That's what we call faith.
170
00:15:42,910 --> 00:15:44,650
Hi. Oh, hi, sugar.
171
00:15:45,670 --> 00:15:46,670
Where is everybody?
172
00:15:46,950 --> 00:15:47,950
They went out to dinner.
173
00:15:48,570 --> 00:15:49,570
Why didn't you go?
174
00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:54,590
Well, Harry called and I drew straws to
find out who would stay to have a little
175
00:15:54,590 --> 00:15:55,990
heart -to -heart talk with you.
176
00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:57,990
And you won.
177
00:15:58,390 --> 00:16:00,330
Won, lost, what's the difference?
178
00:16:02,310 --> 00:16:04,190
Rachel, sit over here, sweetheart.
179
00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:13,460
you been acting as choir director?
180
00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:16,520
Yes.
181
00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:19,660
Well, knock it off.
182
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:21,980
Excuse me?
183
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:27,780
Rachel, the good Lord doesn't care if
his praises are sung off key.
184
00:16:28,860 --> 00:16:32,080
As long as it's sung straight from the
heart.
185
00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:36,800
You're right.
186
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,640
And Steve, I shouldn't have kicked you
out of the choir.
187
00:16:41,610 --> 00:16:42,810
Look on the bright side.
188
00:16:43,110 --> 00:16:46,190
You just saved me the trouble of
quitting later on with all the others.
189
00:16:48,290 --> 00:16:51,330
I guess I had that coming.
190
00:16:51,790 --> 00:16:53,650
Oh, I really messed up.
191
00:16:54,390 --> 00:16:57,830
Gospel Sunday is in two days and the
choir won't even talk to me.
192
00:16:58,070 --> 00:17:00,810
Well, apologize to them. Maybe they'll
forgive you.
193
00:17:01,610 --> 00:17:03,250
Not after the way I acted.
194
00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:09,190
Rachel, just before you came in, Steve
and I were discussing faith.
195
00:17:11,849 --> 00:17:17,930
It seems to me you should apologize to
the choir and have faith
196
00:17:17,930 --> 00:17:19,930
they will forgive you.
197
00:17:21,650 --> 00:17:23,630
But what if they don't forgive me?
198
00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:25,770
Then you'll have to leave town.
199
00:17:31,670 --> 00:17:38,270
And as God tells us in Psalm 95, verse
1,
200
00:17:38,410 --> 00:17:40,190
let us...
201
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:41,860
Sing unto the Lord.
202
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:48,660
Let us make a joyful noise to the rocks
of our salvation.
203
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:53,680
But we're not going to do that today.
204
00:17:55,340 --> 00:17:57,720
Gospel Sunday has been canceled.
205
00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:01,160
Plays got changed.
206
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,820
Things got switched.
207
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:05,880
People had...
208
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:07,320
Obligations.
209
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,540
Pastor Peebles. Yes, Rachel.
210
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:14,820
If I may, I think the congregation
deserves to hear the truth.
211
00:18:15,140 --> 00:18:16,140
Please.
212
00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:28,620
Folks, the reason Gospel Sunday was
canceled is because the choir quit.
213
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:37,200
And the reason the choir quit was
because the moment I became choir
214
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:38,780
started acting like a jerk. Amen.
215
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:46,120
I got a swelled head and I started
picking on people and just
216
00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:47,580
bossing everyone around.
217
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:55,960
I'm truly sorry. And I just hope you can
find it in your hearts to forgive me.
218
00:18:58,220 --> 00:18:59,220
Rachel.
219
00:19:00,460 --> 00:19:01,460
Yes?
220
00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:07,900
Put your hand in the hand of the man who
steal the water.
221
00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:15,580
Put your hand in the hand of the man
that comes to save.
222
00:19:17,980 --> 00:19:20,420
Take a look at yourself.
223
00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:31,080
By putting your hand in the hand of the
man from Galilee
224
00:19:59,310 --> 00:20:01,570
in the hands of the man who can.
16868
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