Original subtitles

It's like

it's so sad to see you go ladies and gentlemen but we ain't got no more time

left on the clock Different strokes about to come on. So I want to thank

everybody for hanging out with me. I want to thank Philadelphia for welcoming

in so much. I want to thank the cheesesteak for filling my stomach and

look like a pregnant man.

Petey Crack, I want to thank you for selling me that shea butter and the

earlier. Not a problem, baby.

What do you want to say to people out there?

I want to thank my man, Choke, for bringing BET down.

Thank y 'all all coming down.

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You know?

And North Philly, man.

He's fresh.

Can't wait for his hunting season, baby.

And we out, ladies and gentlemen. VP now.

Please, stay tuned.

We'll be here all week.

What might be right for you may not be right for some. The man is born.

He's the man of me.

Then along come two.

They got nothing but the genes, but they got different strokes to dance,

different strokes to dance, different strokes to move the world.

Everybody's got a special kind of story.

Everybody finds a way to shine.

So what? They'll have theirs and you'll have yours and I'll have mine.

And together we'll be fine. Because it takes different strokes to move the

world. Yes, it does.

It takes.

We're in trouble.

Mr. Wilkes is wearing his I wish I'd been a sheep farmer look.

Are you kidding? The way he grades tests, I wish he was a sheep farmer.

Okay, class, I have your poetry exams.

I think I'll let your grades speak for themselves.

All right, I'm not worried. I know I ate this one.

We had 197 in class.

That's not.

next time, Mr. Wilkes.

97.

Multiply it by four and you got your head size.

Subtract 50 from it and you got your IQ.

Man, Dudley, your score at least is add up to 100.

Mr. Jackson?

Yes, sir?

You have considerable ability.

Thank you, sir.

we should use it sometime.

I don't use it, sir. Honest. Do you?

Well, for your information, Robert Frost's best -known work is not Frosty

Snowman.

I just took a wild guess.

For those of you who did well, keep up the good work.

For those of you who didn't...

I was thinking about setting up an informal after -school discussion group.

We could really have some fun with it.

Any tankers?

All right.

Let's move on.

This is a far, far better thing I do than I have ever done.

He's sending us home early.

Put a lid on it, guys.

This is the most famous line from our next area of study.

We're going to leave poetry behind us.

Thomas Dickens was born in 1812 in Portsea, England.

From relatively humble beginnings, he became one of England's greatest

You may be familiar with Dickens from the TV production of A Christmas Carol.

Have any of you seen it?

Mr. Jackson?

Oh, I missed it, sir. I was watching Dolly Parton's Christmas in Peru.

As we study Dickens, I don't want you to think of it as work.

I know poetry can be a little dry, but A Tale of Two Cities isn't.

It's exciting. It's about the French Revolution.

It's fun.

Yes, sir. Could you just tell us what we need to know for this test?

Comfort to you, sir.

Rest assured, I'll never come to school looking like that.

Okay, okay, okay.

Try it, Lisa. It'll be an improvement.

You're very clever, Mr. Jackson.

Why can't you be that clever when you write?

Uh, look, sir, I don't mean to be smart. Don't worry about that.

I kind of think I'm wasting my time here. I mean, it's not practical.

I want to pursue a career in photography, and I don't think I'm going

assignment covering the French Revolution.

Mr. Jackson, there are other things in life besides making money.

Literature can enrich your life in other ways.

Think about it.

Yes, sir.

Okay.

I want everyone to read the first 24 chapters.

There'll be a test this Thursday.

And I expect better grades than last time.

I'll certainly try harder next time, Mr. Wilkes.

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minding the stuff i don't understand see

that's gotta be charlie

you're late i'm brilliant

i have a solution our problem

you found an answer sheet almost as good this book condenses the classics what's

it called pete's condensed classics

you guys about using that. You know, if my dad found out, he'd get pretty mad. I

think our best bet is just to go with the book.

Are you kidding?

Parents always want you to do things the hard way.

They're weird, aren't they?

It must be part of their marriage vows. I promise to love, honor, and annoy my

children.

I think we just better stick with the book, guys.

You know, I like reading, too, but have you seen how long this thing is?

Yeah, reading all those words makes my lips tired.

I told Mr.

Wilkes, I can't make any money with this.

Or get a job, so... Well, I guess we'll have to go with this.

Hooray, Pete.

Charlie, you're a bigger weasel than I thought.

Thank you.

Hey, guys, what you doing?

We're studying, Sam.

It's nothing that concerns you. It's real guy stuff.

Then why do you...

And Carton is who? Charles Darnay. Right. And what was Carton's big trick?

Right. And what happens to Dr. Mania and... He goes nuts. Right. And what's

name of the evil... Madame Farge. Right.

How could you three stooges know so much?

Well, maybe we're not as dumb as you.

so much enthusiasm. This is an old building.

Thank you.

Now, before we start to test that with the prize for the class, and here it is,

Pete's condensed classics.

It occurred to me that some of you might decide to read the notes instead of

reading the book.

Actually, this is a very good study tool.

But it was meant to be used after you've read the book.

Unfortunately, some students read them instead of reading the book.

And that's the Mr. Wilkes no -no.

So, I've designed a test that you can't possibly pass unless you've read the

book.

Have fun.

Good morning, class.

Never in 15 years of teaching have I seen anything like this.

Obviously, only a handful of you decided to read the book.

I read it twice, Mr. Wilkes.

Class,

these books were not assigned to make your lives miserable.

No, that's what non -dairy cream is for.

Now, class, you're freshmen now, and I've tried to treat you like young

But obviously, with this class, I was wrong.

I can't teach a class that refuses to learn.

And this class refuses.

I'm going to try and say it one more time.

You're expected to behave like young adults.

I wonder if young adults could yell that like this.

Thank you, Mr. Jackson. You just volunteered.

Me? What'd I volunteer for?

Starting Monday, you're going to teach the class A Tale of Two Cities from page

one. Alone.

What?

Teach? Yeah, you know, what I try to do in here every day.

Uh, teach.

Ready to teach by Monday.

Good, because if not, you'll be reading Mr. Dickens during summer school.

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Now then, what is all this about?

Well, uh, it all started when I got a bad grade on my Taylor 2 Cities test.

How bad is bad?

I did beat Dudley by 30 points.

How could this happen? I saw you and your friend studying A Tale of Two

Well, we weren't exactly studying the book.

Well, then what were you exactly studying?

This.

Wait a minute.

A few days ago, I thought... Oh, I get it.

You deliberately deceived me. You were using this.

Right.

I thought you liked to read.

I do, Dad. I love to read. But when a teacher makes you read, it becomes a

Now, Arnold, that is a very childish attitude.

Nevertheless, your responsibility was to read that book, not try to shortcut it.

A little discipline and hard work.

That's what pays off in life.

Well, for what it's worth, Dad, I'm going to work hard at this teaching

First thing I'm going to do is warm up the class with some one -liners.

I want you to forget the one -liners. I want you to sit down and read a tale of

two cities from cover to cover. I want you to be really prepared to teach that

class. And there'll be no shortcuts this time around.

But, Dad, it's the weekend. Do I have to?

Yes. And if you don't, you know what it'll be?

No. The worst of times.

I need mood news.

Tale of two cities.

France.

French Revolution.

Europe. England.

Just cycling myself up, Dad.

From the dimly lighted passages of the court, the last sediment of the human

stew that had been boiling there...

Dad, this book is great!

I don't think I heard correctly. I said, are you still reading that book? And

you said... Dad, this book is great!

Dad, why didn't you tell me this book was so good?

I guess it just slipped my mind.

Dad, this Charles Dickens is a better writer than Joan Collins' sister.

Listen, check this out. This is what a scholar's called ironic humor.

Talking about the guillotine.

It was the best cure for headaches.

The National Razor with shaved clothes.

I love it.

I can't tell you how happy I am to hear you say that.

Thanks for making me read it, Dad. I never knew anything so old could be so

neat.

A classic is something that lasts for a long time. It speaks to each new

generation because it's neat.

But really, I'm thrilled that you realize that a classic is not a drag

because it's assigned reading in school. I think you're going to do a terrific

job on Monday.

Dan, with material like this, I can't miss.

I should be through with this by Sunday night. I can't wait to see those kids'

faces on Monday.

back in jail and he's going to be executed.

All right, pop quiz.

What did they use to kill prisoners with during the French Revolution?

It was the national razor.

Dudley.

It begins with a G.

Gillette.

Come on, we just covered this five minutes ago. Lisa, you have to know the

answer. You've answered every question that's ever been asked since elementary

school. I wouldn't answer a question of yours if you were the last teacher on

earth.

I don't believe this.

Come on, we just covered this five minutes ago.

Louise, you give the class the answer.

To what?

The question I just asked about the national razor.

Don't ask me. I don't even shave my legs.

Forget it, Louise.

Charlie, you have to know this. Within Pete's condensed classics?

Know what, Mr. Jackson?

The answer.

The answer to what?

The question. What question?

is the guillotine.

I hope he doesn't hit us with that stupid quote he thinks is so funny.

I heard that.

It's not a stupid quote.

It's ironic humor.

What's the matter with you guys? Why can't I convince you?

Settle down, class.

Oh, that's all right, Mr. Wilkes.

This is my class, and I'll handle it.

way.

I'm keeping all you meatheads after school.

We've got a guillotine to lock off your, um, as I was saying, just

a great book.

It's about life and death, love and hate.

The whole book hangs on this.

Who saves him?

Indiana Jones?

Arnold, I just can't believe that.

That your own... friends would behave that way yeah it was awful dad he didn't

pay any attention to me he laughed at me i wish i'd have stuck around long

enough to pile on some homework i guess i really blew it huh oh

no of course you didn't i'm just sorry that wasn't more fun teaching that makes

two of us two and a half of us

I know that my homework isn't like that, so I assume you're here to see Arnold.

He's right over there.

Wow, Mr. D.

Sam, why don't you go up to your room for a while? I think maybe your go -bots

are a little lonely.

I'll go upstairs, Mr. D. But I think you should know go -bots aren't real

people.

Please have a seat, Mr. Wells. Thank you.

Well, I guess you're here to give me another F, huh?

Not at all. I came to compliment you.

I thought she handled that class about as well as it could be handled.

It's a shame they were so rough on you.

I feel responsible, and I'm sorry.

Yeah, that class was rough.

But you get that all the time. And I want you to know that if I ever caused

any trouble, accidentally, of course, that I'm sorry, too.

Apology accepted.

Actually, teaching can be a rewarding experience.

Occasionally.

I want you to know that when you assigned Tale of Two Cities to me, that

best part.

Mr. Wilkes, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your opening Arnold's eyes to

the classics.

That's good to hear.

These days, I don't get very much positive feedback.

Kids really resist you.

You know, I've been on both sides of the desk now, and as a veteran of the

blackboard jungle, I have to say...

Kids are tough to teach.

That's right, Arnold.

And sometimes I wish so many kids didn't resist learning.

I guess I'm just a perfectionist. I want to reach every kid I teach.

Well, you sure reached Arnold.

And if anybody can do that, there's still hope for the teaching profession.

I thought it was a very bright idea, too, to make Arnold teach the class.

It was, wasn't it?

Come to think of it, next week I'll let Dudley teach the class.

I can't wait.

Arnold. I'll be good.