Original subtitles

Made me crazy.

But I know if I lost you, I'd regret it for the rest of my life.

Sweetheart, you made me half crazy.

Do you know how lonely I would have been on that honeymoon cruise by myself?

Oh, I'm sure you'd met some nice widow with blue hair and a new trumpet.

Welcome home, honey.

Oh, Philip, I'm so relieved.

Me too.

Philip, if you still want me to, I'll sign that silly agreement. It's no big

deal. That was never important to me. Can we forget it? It's forgotten.

Oh, Maggie, I'm so glad you're back.

And I'm not just saying that so that you'll aim the bridal bouquet in my

direction.

You're going to forgive me for what I said about your cooking?

Oh, I forgive you, but I can't speak for my duck.

Let's all get ready for this wedding. Yes, we don't have very long. You better

hurry up, young man.

All right.

Gee, Arnold, we're really going to be brothers.

I'm really happy now, sir.

Aren't you?

I'd be happy if I could be your big brother without them getting married.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

These are just one drum.

What might be right for you may not be right for some. A man is born. He's a

of needs.

They're no long come to.

They got nothing but the genes, but they got.

Good evening.

Welcome. So glad you couldn't come. May I take that for you?

Oh, heavy. This is a good one.

Boy, look at all those wedding presents.

I sure wish a guy could get married at my age.

I hear you can in Saudi Arabia.

Can I book you a flight?

you again.

I'm sorry, but I don't remember seeing you the first time.

I'm Daisy, Maggie's assistant at the exercise studio.

Oh, now I remember.

I never saw you with clothes on.

Hi, Daisy.

Hi, Sam.

Oh, my, don't you look handsome.

I guess she just doesn't trust herself in me.

Hello, Anna.

Hi, Dudley. Hi, Mr. Ramsey. This is my new little brother, Sam.

Oh, hello, Sam.

Ooh, that's quite a grip you have there.

I didn't hurt you, did I?

Sometimes I don't know my own strength.

Yeah, I've seen him tear a marshmallow in half with his bare hands.

I guess you didn't think I'd look this good in a tux.

Yeah, and I was right.

On you, that bow tie looks like an airplane propeller.

Thank you, Dudley.

It's a nice suit you got there.

Who signed the seat for you?

Okay, we're even.

Now just point me at the food. That's for after the wedding, gobble gums.

We're so glad you can make it, Adelaide. I'm so thrilled to be asked.

Who thinks to send a wedding invitation to a former housekeeper?

And when I heard that your father's getting married, it just blew my mind.

It is kind of sudden.

What's she like?

Very beautiful.

How old?

Late 30s.

How tall?

Oh, quite tall.

No wonder he never gave me a second look.

Of any size.

That's Sam. He's going to be my new little brother. Oh, nice to meet you,

I think it's so wonderful that your mother is marrying my brother.

I think marriage is a great institution.

I've been in the institution four times myself.

Where's Philip?

Oh, he's up in his room getting ready.

Oh, oh, excuse me. Oh, hi.

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Mirror, mirror on the wall.

The older they get, the harder they fall.

Who is it?

Well, sugar, it's not the Ava lady.

Isn't it supposed to be bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the

wedding? No.

It's bad luck for the groom to see another woman before the wedding.

Well, are you all ready for your really big date?

I was fine this morning, but now I'm nervous as a snake at a belt factory.

Nervous? Why?

What happened?

Well, Philip, I believe that I can be a good mother and friend.

To Kimberly and Willis. I have a feeling there's a big butt coming up.

It's Arnold. A little butt.

Arnold? I'm afraid that he sees me as a cross between a drill sergeant and

Scarface.

Oh, I'm sure it can't be that bad. I think his nose is just a little bit out

joint because Sam's getting so much attention.

Sweetheart, you can handle anything.

Believe me, he's going to love you just as much as everybody else does.

Oh, I hope so.

I'm crazy about that little fella.

You're not so bad yourself.

You always make me feel better.

At your service, ma 'am.

Come in.

Hi, Daddy. Can I see you for a minute? Sure, honey.

Kimberly, you look gorgeous.

Thank you.

Well?

I'm going to leave you two alone.

Oh, Maggie, I laid your dress out on my bed. Let me know if you need any help.

Thank you, darling. I'll see you in a bit.

I'll see you at the altar.

Well, how is the daughter of the groom holding up?

Oh, fine.

I just wanted to take this moment to tell you that you've been the best

any girl could ever have, and I love you very much, and I couldn't be happier

for my own wedding.

Oh, thank you, sweetheart.

It's going to be so nice to have a mother to talk to, tell my problems to,

shopping with.

Father will get the bills.

Kimberly, I want you to level with me.

Do you really feel okay about Maggie becoming your new mother?

Well, sure, Daddy.

Of course, it's hard not to think of Mom at a time like this, but I know she

would have wanted to give her blessings to you and Maggie. Yes, I'm sure that

she would have.

You know something?

I think she already has.

Hello.

Hello. Come in.

Thank you.

May I take that?

Oh, sure.

I'm Edna Garrett.

Oh, of course. You're the old housekeeper.

Not old.

Thanks.

Oh, sorry.

I meant old as opposed to new.

I'm Pearl, the housekeeper.

Oh, how do you do, Pearl?

Hi.

Won't you make yourself at home? Will you sign our guest book?

Oh, sure.

The house looks lovely, Pearl.

Thank you.

Oh, how's the new gourmet food shop doing?

Very well, thank you, Willis. I'll tell you, after cooking for Arnold, feeding

all of upstate New York is a snap.

Oh, Arnold, you better go tell Daddy it's getting close. The ceremony starts

right after Pearl finishes singing. Okay. See you. Okay. Excuse me. Okay.

Oh, you mean Pearl's going to sing?

Mm -hmm.

No one ever asked me to sing when I worked here.

Come on.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please?

Could you please take your seats?

We are very honored to present Miss Pearl Gallagher, our very own

who is going to sing one of my personal favorites, Why.

That's because.

Because.

Hello there, just you.

Well, time for you to put on that brave smile and walk that last mile.

Oh, I don't have to fake it, Arnold.

Maggie and I are going to be very happy.

I'd like to be able to say the same thing for you.

Come on over here.

Sit down.

Let's have a little talk, okay?

Tell me something.

How do you feel about Maggie?

Oh, um, Dad, that isn't easy.

I mean, I have a lot of feelings, but they're kind of all mixed up.

Well, maybe I could help you unmix them.

I'm just not sure where I fit in around here anymore.

You're not?

I wonder what makes you feel that.

Well, I don't know. I mean, Maggie loves Willis because he's older and more

responsible. Mm -hmm.

She loves Kimberly because they can do girl things together.

Mm -hmm.

And she loves Sam because he's hers.

Mm -hmm.

And where does that leave me? I'll tell you nowhere.

Out in the cold, dump city.

I understand how you feel.

But I happen to know that Maggie loves you just as much as she loves Willis and

Kimberly.

Are we talking about the same Maggie?

Absolutely. She told me so.

And I want you to give her a chance to prove that to you.

You know, you're a very lovable character.

You know it and I know it, but does she know it?

Sure she does.

Okay.

I don't know if it'll do any good, but I'll give it a try.

Thank you, son. That is the best wedding present you could possibly give me.

And a cheap one, too. Yeah.

Any last requests, Dad?

Only that you be happy.

That's all I really want for you, too.

Well,

come on downstairs.

They're gonna start the wedding as soon as Pearl stops singing. I hope there's

some guests left.

Where's the minister?

What minister?

We decided you were going to call your friend the judge.

No.

You said you wanted a minister, and I gave in.

Now is a fine time to tell me that.

How could you just assume I was going to call a minister?

How could you just assume that I was going to call a judge?

Because he was your friend and he would do it for nothing.

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Where in the world could he be? He should be here by now.

Dad, who was this guy anyway?

All I know is that he's a retired justice of the peace from Long Island.

quite old.

I just hope he still remembers the ceremony.

I just hope he remembers his teeth.

Listen, we're very lucky to have found him.

I hope that's him.

Mr. Clement?

That's right.

Now, please come in. Thank you.

I am Philip Drummond. Thank you very much for coming on such short notice.

Couldn't have kept me away.

It gets pretty boring sitting around a retirement home playing pinochle with a

bunch of old maids.

They cheat, you know.

Well, shall we just get on with this, please?

I hope you'll bear with me. I haven't done this in a while.

Oh. I'm sure you'll be just fine.

Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention,

I am very happy to be able to tell you that we are now going to have the

wedding.

So, if you will all take your seats, please, we'll resume with the ceremony.

Miss Reynolds, hit it one more time, please.

I can't get over how beautiful Maggie looks. Oh, yes, she's hardly aged at all

since we saw her last.

Say, young fella, you did all right.

Thank you.

Oh, there we are.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here to join this man and this woman in

holy matrimony.

If any man can show just cause why they may not lawfully be joined together, let

him now speak, or else hereafter forever hold his peace.

The oven.

That's my duck.

Couldn't he hold his peace?

Please continue.

Thank you.

Now, where were we?

Peace. Oh, yes. This is the part I like.

Would you take each other's right hand, please?

Wilt thou, Philip, have this woman to be thy wedded wife?

Wilt thou love, comfort, honor, and keep her in sickness and in health, and

forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her so long as ye both shall live?

I will.

Wilt thou, Margaret, have this man to be thy wedded husband?

Wilt thou love, comfort, honor, and keep her in sickness and in health, and

forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her so long as ye both shall live?

I will.

Repeat after me. I, Philip, take thee, Margaret, for my wedded wife to have and

to hold from this day forward.

I, Philip, take thee, Margaret, for my wedded wife to have and to hold from

day forward.

For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. For

better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.

To love and to cherish till death do us part.

To love and to cherish until death do us part.

That was very good.

Repeat after me. I, Margaret, take thee, Philip, for my wedded husband, to have

and to hold from this day forward.

I, Margaret, take thee, Philip... For my wedded husband.

For my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward.

For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer.

In sickness and in health.

For better, for worse.

For richer, for poorer. In sickness and in health.

To love and to cherish till death do us part.

To love and to cherish till death do us part.

Can I have the rings, please?

Put the ring on Margaret's finger and repeat after me. With this ring, I thee

wed.

With this ring, I thee wed.

Margaret, put the ring on Philip's finger and repeat after me.

With this ring, I thee wed.

With this ring, I thee wed.

I now pronounce you man and wife. That's it.

What about kissing the bride?

Don't mind if I do.

The one who catches it will be the next to get hitched. Come on.

Wait a minute. Wait for me.

Oh, sorry, Daisy.

But let's be honest.

You don't need this when you got all that.

I caught the bridal bouquet.

Want to talk about it, cutie?

a great time on your cruise, Mommy.

Yeah, enjoy it, you guys. We better get going, Maggie. If we miss our plane

here, we'll miss our boat in Miami.

Oh, Maggie.

Welcome to the family.

Thanks, Arna.

Bye, y 'all. Bye -bye, Dad. You guys have a good time.

Hey,

Sam. How you doing?

Great.

You don't look great.

Your chin's sort of hanging on the ground.

Oh, it doesn't have far to go.

Come on.

Tell your big brother what's the matter.

I guess I'm a little totally depressed.

You miss your mom, don't you?

I know how you feel.

You miss my mom, too?

I mean, I know what it feels like to be lonely.

I wasn't always the carefree playboy that you see before you.

But cheer up. Your mom won't be gone long.

Yeah, I know.

I feel a little strange here.

That's exactly how I feel.

Scared, unhappy.

I'm talking emotional wreck.

But you've got something that I didn't have.

What's that?

Me.

And you can count on me to help you through the rough times.

I'm sure I can, sir.

You're one together dude.

Together dude, huh?

Couldn't have put it better myself.

Now, let's be a smile and a cute little kisser of yours, bro.

Sure.

He needs work, but he'll do for the moment.

Well, I'm lucky to have a big brother like you. You're the greatest, sir.

You're okay.

And you know what?

I've given it some thought, and you can stop calling me sir and start calling me

Arnold. Gee, thanks, sir.

Thanks who?

I mean, thanks, Arnold.

Now you got it, little bro.

Now you got it.

Come on.

I want you.

Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for

you may not be right for some. But many, many, many, many, many, many, many,

many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many,

Say hello to Larry.

Oh, I get it. Larry Bird.

No, it's Larry the parrot.

I always wanted a parrot.

I always wanted to name him Larry.

But he's green like a Celtic.

Stop being clever. It's Larry the parrot.

Parents are noisy. I mean, they're messy. They spit food all over the

I already got a roommate who does that.

He's not a roommate. It's a temporary thing, you see.

You know, I got him for $200 because he can't talk.

But when I teach him how to talk, I'm going to make about $1 ,000 off of him.

Hey, hey, say something. Say, say, Eddie's the man.

Come on, say it.

Eddie the man.

You are going to keep Larry in the garage, right?

No, the fumes are killing.

You are going to keep Larry in the garage, right?

Little Larry want to go in the garage?

Ow!

Guess Larry don't want to go in the garage.

Good girl.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Good boy.

Isn't it quite funny, Bob?

They're just going to leave you alone.

What you see inside your home?