Original subtitles

The life of an American Indian on an all -new Quantum Leap. This is Scott Bakula

inviting you to take the Quantum Leap with me next.

And Thursday night, it's the case of Ann Kelsey versus Rosalind Shays on an all

-new L .A. Law.

Thursday, only on NBC.

I must be an idiot putting up with all the damn foolish school politics and

students who make me feel like I'm interrupting their MTV time shoving

literature down their throats. I do all this and I still have to scrounge to

provide a little something special for my own son.

You know, if you're interested, we do have a full -time position open for an

associate editor.

Me? An editor?

Well... Yeah, with your eye for quality writing and your knowledge of

literature, who better than you?

And a starting salary isn't too bad, either. $52 ,000. Well, thank you. I'm

flattered, but my job is here. I'm a teacher. I'm an educator.

$52 ,000.

John, I'm so glad you decided to join us. Funny how things work out, isn't it?

Yeah. Fifteen years ago, you were that serious little girl in pigtails in the

fourth row, and now look at you. You are my boss.

How about friend?

Okay, friends. Yeah, that'll look better on the memos.

Welcome aboard.

our studio audience.

two old rabbits playing cards.

Rookies.

Now, look, pay attention. I'm only going to do this once.

Right?

Why,

Mrs. Philbert, did you used to dance professionally?

Oh, yes, but I gave it up when the snake died.

Dip in the secretarial pool.

You grow up, Kirk.

I'm not in the mood for your dumb locker room humor.

Ooh.

Pretty tense for a big corporate executive.

No wonder the Japanese are getting ahead of us.

A little problem at the office, John.

Well, uh, it's nothing important.

I'm just thinking of quitting.

What? What?

that Barbara did not hire me for my editorial merit alone.

What are you saying?

She used to have this schoolgirl crush on me, you see, and now I think she's

trying to carry it over into the office.

Are you implying that your new boss wants you?

understand that I did not take this job to become a sex object.

I am not a bimbo.

I'm sorry, John. It's just that I'm having trouble picturing you as the

floozy.

Well, I am.

What kind of a support group is this? You tell somebody your problems and they

laugh at you. I didn't laugh at you, John. Thank you, Ralph, because I didn't

know what you were talking about.

For your information, this is what happened. On the first day of the job,

gives me this very passionate kiss.

That suggested that she wanted a lot more.

Fortunately for me, she had to go to Toronto.

That makes sense.

One kiss from you, she has to leave the country.

John, if this is bothering you so much, why don't you just sit down and have a

talk with Barbara when she gets back?

Thank you, Louise. That's exactly what I'm going to do.

Don't get me wrong. I love the job, and the money is great.

I mean, hey, it's afforded me a chance to send my kid to Belgium with his

team. But I'll be damned if I'm going to have to be Barbara's office boy toy.

I will. I'm going to have a talk with her, and if she doesn't understand that,

then I'll just have to quit.

Well, I can sympathize with you, John.

Sexual harassment can be just awful.

When I worked at Williams, Carlton, Daniels, and Burke, hardly a day went by

that I didn't have to fight off advances.

Global police stories are always very popular. Your submission does not meet

needs at this time.

But thank you very much for submitting your novel, Good Cop, Bad Cop, The Story

of the Two -Headed Detective.

Uh, yes, come in, come in.

Uh, with best wishes, signed John Lacey, associate editor.

Oh, excuse, please, I'm having mail for you. Well, how you doing?

Molotov, right?

You know my name. And we only meet one time. You have very good remembering.

No, no. Memory.

Oh, memory.

So many new words, new names.

Sometimes I feel so stupid, Mr... Lacey.

Oh, Lacey.

Don't be embarrassed. I used to have trouble remembering names myself.

Until I learned this little memory trick.

Now, look. You want to remember my name, right? Okay. Just picture me doing

this.

Tying my shoelaces.

Laces.

Lacey.

I get it. If I want to remember something, I put picture with it.

Let's try another one, okay? Let's try to remember the name of the Japanese

gentleman who works next door.

Oh, very hard name to remember.

No, no, no, not really.

Do you know what a pawn shop is?

Oh, sure. That's where you hock a watch when you're not having money.

Now, when you want to remember his name, just picture him taking the engine from

his car to a pawn shop.

Pawn shop, car engine.

Pawn shop.

Car engine.

Got it. Mr. Hakamoto.

Hey, there you go. That's very good. Very good.

Thank you very much, Mr.

Lacey. Lacey.

That's all right, honey. I don't need an appointment.

Hey, there's my pal.

Whoa.

John.

Look at this setup.

Kirk, what are you doing here?

I brought you an office warming present.

Oh.

Well, uh, what is it?

It's a paperweight.

Oh, well, thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but not just any paperweight, John.

it out.

That is a piece of the Berlin Wall.

Uh, Kirk, this is plaster.

Of course it is.

It's a piece of Irving Berlin's wall.

I grabbed it just before the place went condo.

John, I also wanted to talk to you about publishing my autobiography.

Your autobiography? That is the story of my life. I know what an autobiography

is, Kirk.

Good. Then I've come to the right place.

Every publisher in this town is begging me for that, John.

But I've decided to give you the first shot.

That is the unfold exploits of one honest, humble champion of democracy.

Kirk Morris, a life.

Can't put it down, can you?

Yes, well, why don't you just leave it with me, Kirk, because I've got a lot of

other things to do right now.

Oh. I'm sorry, John. I can come in. No, Barbara, it's okay.

This is my friend Kirk. He was just leaving.

Oh, yes. I don't want to be late for my lunch with Ernest Hemingway.

But Ernest Hemingway is dead.

So's disco.

But I still do it.

And I'm really glad you're back, Barbara. Did you miss me? Oh, yeah.

But we have to talk.

No, really, we have to talk. All right, darling.

Darling? Listen, Barbara.

Before was I right about you.

On the plane, I read a few of your critiques.

I found them to be incisive and piercing with a good sense of the market.

And, by the way, the president of the company agrees with me.

Well, he really does, huh? Mm -hmm. Sure does.

Have you ever heard of Philip Whelan?

Philip Whelan.

The guy who wrote Moonlight in Malta.

It's been on the bestseller list for the last 65 weeks. Yes, I think I've heard

of him.

Well, we've just signed him.

And guess who's going to be editing his new book?

You're kidding.

Me?

Congratulations, John.

Oh, now what was it you wanted to tell me?

Oh.

What I wanted to tell you was... God, I love this...

Wow,

they already got a stage name.

At least they ought to be pulling a stage.

publishing game going. Oh, the publishing game. Well, it's just great.

Guess who I spent the last hour with on the telephone?

The cable TV people?

No, Ralph.

I'll give you a hint.

He wrote Moonlight in Malta.

Philip Whelan! Exactly.

I've seen his books at the airport.

Right.

Well, you are now looking at the editor of Philip Whelan's newest novel.

Barbara, hmm?

Problem? What problem?

When it's resolved.

How did Barbara react when you told her you refused to be the office bimbo?

Well, actually, I didn't tell her.

All right, John, I am proud of you. Can we take this to mean that you and your

boss are doing a little after -hours corporate merging?

Besides, Barbara and I are both single, and if we should decide to start seeing

each other socially, what's wrong with that?

He's bongier.

Now, look, what I do with my personal life is my own business, and you

expect me to have to discuss this with all of you. That's true, John, but don't

do anything to get away at that book I wrote for you.

Kirk, this book you're working on, are there crayons involved?

It happens to be my autobiography. Oh.

So there are crayons involved.

About your book, Kirk, I sent some of the pages you gave me to one of our

editors. He said it was a gripping, riveting, larger -than -life story that

a surefire bestseller.

Well, I tell you, John, does that book describe an exciting life or what? Oh,

said it was an exciting life, all right. Unfortunately, Lech Walesa already

lived it.

What? Who?

Well, Ensor. It was almost word for word from his own life story.

Kirk, don't you understand?

Plagiarism is against the law.

Plagiarism, huh?

Yeah, okay.

I hear you, John.

Looks like I'm going to have to find myself a good lawyer.

In case I'm going to sue that foolish rabble -rouser for every callback he's

got.

how I see Shakespeare's basic game plan.

Macbeth is over here with his men flanked out to his left.

While Macduff is here with his men lined up in the burning

woods.

What is it now, Meyer?

Hey, Coach Derman, don't you mean Burnham Woods?

Burnham Woods?

Burning Woods?

in a slot right.

Calls a few audibles, but Macduff goes for a bliss.

Throws Macbeth for a big loss.

Then Shakespeare kills everybody else off. And finally, he brings the three

witches back for a big post -game wrap -up.

All right?

What is it, Debbie?

You see what you've started, Meyer?

Can we discuss the symbolism of Lady Macbeth's references to Duncan as her

father? You're still trying to get back at me for not making you a cheerleader,

huh?

Huh?

Saved by the bell.

Hi,

everybody.

Hey, John.

What brings you back?

Oh, I just came back to pick up the last of my things, Brad.

Heard you were covering for my classes.

Yeah, it's me until they find a replacement.

Hey, look, I can't stand around and talk. I gotta give the kids from the

varsity their go -for -the -throat pep talk.

Go -for -the -throat? Yeah.

It's a lot of extra work, but I'm trying to instill the killer instinct in them

when they're still young.

And, oh, hey, that's what teaching's all about, isn't it?

Hey, don't be a stranger, John.

Right, Brad.

See ya.

Mr. Lacey. Oh, hi.

Hey,

how are you doing in English?

Oh, well, I'm getting a B.

Hey, that's great. Congratulations.

Yeah, Coach Derman likes me because I don't ask any questions in class.

Well, I guess every teacher has his own methods.

Yeah. Mr.

Lacey, I've got my college boards coming up, and I sure wish I had a real

teacher like you to tutor me.

Oh, I would love to, Stretch, but I'm sorry I can't. I don't have enough time.

See, I got this new job. Oh, yeah.

Sure.

It's okay.

Stretch, it's just that I'm not a teacher anymore.

I understand, Mr. Lacey.

I am so happy. I am blowing up with pride.

And I am owing it all to you.

Well, well, that's wonderful, Malat. You are looking at brand new American

citizens. Congratulations, but why are you thanking me?

Oh, I tried to become citizen before, but I never passed interview.

So many things to know about your country. Oh, like the branches of

So this time, I use your memory trick. I picture a big tree with three branches.

On the first branch, I see bench.

Yeah. Who sits on bench?

Judge. Right. The judicial branch. Right. Very good. And on the second

see big treehouse with all the congressmen and the senators. The

branch. We think alike, eh?

Now, on the last branch is bush.

Ah? And on bush is bird. What kind of bird?

and I'm very happy for you. Thank you, Mr. Lacey. You're welcome. So am I.

That was a very smart thing you teach me, Mr. Lacey.

You should be a teacher.

You should be a teacher.

Funny kid, huh?

John, guess what?

I have got some great news.

I just got a phone call from Philip Whelan.

He saw your notes on his manuscript, and he loved them.

He said from now on, he would like you to help him with all of his books.

Really?

Uh -huh.

He wants you almost as much as I do.

Hey, what's the matter?

You should be the happiest guy in the world right now. You should be dancing

the desk. Yeah, I know, I know. I guess I should, but...

This guy keeps looking over my shoulder and telling me I'm in the wrong room.

What are you trying to tell me?

You don't want to go back to teaching, do you?

I guess I do.

Like it or not, it's where I belong.

You see, Barbara, I'm a teacher.

And although I'd be going back to longer hours and a lot less money, it's, uh...

It's what I gotta do.

This may be hard to understand, but there's nothing like that moment when

look into a student's eyes and you see that he's got it.

See, I, uh... I miss that. I... I need that.

Well, if you really want to know, I do understand.

I remember seeing your passion for teaching when I was one of your

I guess it's what attracted me to you in the first place.

Well, I guess I'm not working for you anymore.

No, I guess you're not.

Well, now that we've settled that, how about dinner at my place?

You're not just kissing up to your ex -boss, are you? You bet I am.

Boy, America is dread country.

They sure treat workers good here.

Mr. Lacey.

That's right, it's me.

I suppose you're all wondering why I'm back teaching again and not in the

publishing business anymore.

Well, suffice it to say, I miss working with you kids.

Five bucks if you got canned.

Oh, speaking of work, Bobby, we're going to start this morning with Charles

Dickens. Now, tonight you're all going to be expected to read the first two

chapters of Oliver Twist.

Oh, and get this. You're going to have a quiz tomorrow.

Oh, wow.

Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot. We want the coach.

We want the coach.

We want the coach.

We want the coach. Yes, sir. I will give this up for the world. We want the

coach.

Next, it's an all -new Quantum Leap.

And Friday night's getting nasty on NBC with a series premiere of Nasty Boys.

Then James Buster Douglas took the iron out of Mike Tyson.

But is he tough enough to step into the ring with Hulk Hogan and Macho King

Randy Savage on the main event? On Nasty Night, that kicks off with Baywatch

Friday.

It's a lazy Sunday afternoon, right? The Knicks game is on TV.

You and me curled up together. A couple of brewskis.

Come on, what do you say?

Gee, Kirk, I'd love to, but Sunday afternoon I have to go down to the Long

Island Railroad and put my hands on the tracks.

After that?

I picked up our ticket.

Oh, great.

It was an awfully long line, but this really nice man with pointy shoes let me

stand in front of him.

Hey, where's my ticket, and where are we going?

Kirk, we're taking Louise to a literary luncheon for her birthday. Trust me, it

wouldn't be interesting.

I wouldn't be interested in a literary event?

I will have you know that just this morning, I received a million -dollar

from the publisher's clearinghouse.

This is not for you, Kirk.

Laurie Burmeister, the eminent author, will be discussing what we women can

forward to in the next decade.

Then the one she mentions is my name.

I read in Cosmo that in the 90s, women will expand their sexuality by learning

to sustain their eroticism.

Great sex in the 90s, huh?

Well, I'm certainly looking forward to that.

Mrs. Filbert?

I'm 78.

Only 12 more years to go.