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Thank you.
studio audience and so i realized
at that moment i was at the crossroads of my life that whatever i
did in the next 30 seconds could totally change my life and the lives of
everyone who ever knew or cared about me so i said i'm sorry our time is
up hold that thought until next week's session oh louis
I won't be here for next week's session. Oh, why not, Mrs. Filbert?
I'm visiting my daughter in Baltimore.
Oh, is that the same daughter that works for the Children of Africa Fund? Oh,
yes. And when you hear the things she's had to deal with, it would just break
your heart.
Oh, what with the drought and the famine and the locusts. You know what I would
do if I was running Africa?
I'd put in casino gambling.
Oh, come on, Kirk. Well, John.
What would it do for Atlantic City?
Me and the group once played a gig in Atlantic City. We were the opening act
the Strawberry Alarm Club.
Oh, I'll never forget it.
You were there, Mrs. Filbert?
When Ricky Fortune and the Fortuneettes ever played the Eastern Seaboard, I was
there.
Well, Mrs. Filbert, have a lovely time, and we'll see you when you get back.
Thank you.
Boy, Rick, that must have been a really exciting time for you. Oh, yeah.
Do you ever miss it? Only every day.
That's why I'm trying to get into this oldie show at Madison Square Garden.
next month.
Oh, that's great.
Hey, you think you have a shot? Oh, of course he does.
You know the acts they get for those shows?
Rick here was washed up a long time before those guys.
Don't pay any attention to him. I think it's a great idea, Rick. Yes, you could
do that big hit of yours.
What was it again?
No, this is great, Rick. This could mean a whole new career for you. Thanks,
Jim. You know, the nostalgia craze is very big these days. Oh, yeah, yeah. The
only problem is it's hard to be nostalgic about somebody you've never
Well, I'll be there, front row of sandals. It's gonna be just like the old
You know, you remember that gig in Atlantic City?
God, it was great. The girls up front, they got so worked up, you know, they
threw their broads on stage.
Do you remember that?
So, has anyone heard from Rick?
Yeah, I wonder if he got hired for that oldie show. Oh, I hope so.
It would do him such good to be on stage again.
I guess you must really miss being in the spotlight once you've been a star.
What star, John? This guy was the black hole of rock and roll.
No, no, no, no. You see, he once played on the same bill with Elvis Presley.
He actually appeared with Elvis?
Absolutely. He's not dead, you know.
They played Vegas together. On the bill, there was... Neither is Buddy Holly or
Jimi Hendrix.
There was Ricky and the Fortunates, the Zombies, Elvis, Johnny Cash. They faked
their deaths.
To escape the pressures of public edulation.
Just last week, I saw Janis Joplin.
She was windsurfing with Mama Cass.
Then there was that British invasion tour Rick was on. Oh, it was... There
Rick, and there was Freddie and the Dreamers. You know, I don't like to
but I once spent a torrid weekend with a man...
Freddie Root Canal.
So?
How'd it go?
No one remembers me, and no one wants to. What'd I tell you? This guy can't
make it as a has -been.
You shut up, Kirk.
So what happened? It was humiliating. No one had the vaguest idea who I was. And
I was really looking forward to performing again.
Well, you know, we're always having dances.
There's no reason you can't sing at the next one, is there? Actually, Ralphie, I
can think of two reasons.
He stinks, and no one will come.
Yeah, but aside from that... No, no, no, I think Ralph is a great idea.
We can make it a major event. Yeah, yeah.
like the Hindenburg.
Hey, say, how about a salute to the 60s night?
We could charge admission and give the proceeds to charity.
Oh, and I know just the charity, the Children of Africa Fund. Oh, yeah.
What do you say, Rick? This could be really good for me. You know, I could
promoters and agents and let them know that I'm alive.
Oh, I could help out with the music, too. I've got a pretty good record
collection. I could play a few between sets.
Oh, that would be great.
Oh, I'm really touched that you guys want to do this for me. I'm going to get
guitar out of hock right now.
I'm going to start rehearsing.
There is just one thing, though.
I mean, you all do understand that I'm a professional.
And there are certain things that I'm going to require.
First off, I'm going to need a limo to take me to the gig.
But it's a benefit. We can't afford a limo.
Uh -huh.
and I'll need a case of imported champagne in my dressing room.
There won't be any champagne.
Oh, for that matter, any dressing room.
So let me get this straight. What you're telling me is there's no limo, there's
no champagne, and I have to dress in my car?
I can't believe...
up for the 60s for that benefit tonight, so I figured, ah, what the hell. Should
be a lot of fun.
Listen, uh, about tonight.
It's going to be really something.
You know they sold almost 200 tickets?
Boy, Rick, you must still have a lot of fans out there, let me tell you. Hey,
listen, I hope I'm not making you nervous. Oh, no problem, John. I'm not
least bit nervous. That's good to hear, man.
I mean, why should I be?
I'm not even going to be there.
What do you mean you're not going to be there? You have to be there.
There's going to be 200 people there. looking forward to recreating the 60s. I
mean, if you don't show up, there's no telling how nonviolent they're going to
get.
Wait a minute.
Yeah, hello.
Yeah, hello, Louise. Louise, I can't talk to you right now. We've got a
here. We just lost our star.
Look, I just can't do it, right? Why not?
You've got to understand that I'm a professional.
You know, I've never even played in a cafeteria before.
I mean, what kind of acoustics does it have? No way.
Trust me, you can hear a fork drop.
I just can't do it, right? I just cannot go through with it. I cannot relive the
nightmare of Bayonne.
Nightmare? What happened in Bayonne? I didn't think anything could happen in
Bayonne.
It was about 18 months ago. I was playing a one -nighter in a club there,
the audience were just kids, you know? At first, they laughed at me.
And then they called me names.
and they started throwing things.
Beer cans, chairs, each other.
Maybe it was just one of those nights, Rick.
Have you ever had hundreds of kids laughing and hurling abuse at you? Of
I have. I'm a high school teacher.
You don't understand.
I'm scared.
I'm no good by myself.
It was the Fortunates. They were the ones with the real talent.
Without them, I'm nothing.
Oh, right. So you're not the big superstar you always wanted to be. So
What do you want, sympathy?
Look at me.
I mean, just look at me. I mean, this isn't exactly the lifestyles of the rich
and famous, you know.
But you hear me complaining?
No. You know why?
Because I've got food.
I've got a roof over my head. And that's a lot more than those African kids
have. I mean, that's what we're doing this benefit for. Those kids.
They don't want our sympathy. What they need is for you to get up on that stage
and do those songs, those few songs that you've done a million times before.
What they don't need is for you to be scared.
Oh, quiet now.
Damn.
this way.
I'll start the gig with that one. Great, great, great. Now listen, we're very
late and you'll tell me all the rest on the way over. Well, after that, there's
a lot of different ways I can go, you know.
I can follow up with my psychedelic medley.
And then I could do my salute to rock stars who died in plane crashes.
Should have charged a lot more for those tickets.
You should know that Kurt lies about everything.
Oh, well, look who's here. If it isn't Sergeant Pepper himself.
Isn't this exciting?
I'm going to see Ricky Fortune again after all these years.
Um, Mrs.
Philbert, and I think I speak for everyone. This time, try and keep your
on, all right?
I'm going backstage to see how Whitney's doing.
Get down with your bad self.
Move on. Move on.
God, I love this job.
Ricky. Rick.
Rick. Hi.
Hi, Rick.
So, how do I look? Look who you're asking.
It's a costume I wore with the Fortunates. It's from beyond the galaxy
So how are you feeling?
Suicidal. What? Oh, no, Rick. No, no, for me that's a good sign.
Hey,
Rick, look.
See those steps? Yeah.
Rick, those are your first steps on your comeback trail.
Yeah? Yeah.
What am I on?
I don't know. Louise is handling it. You just wait here and she'll announce you.
John? What?
Thanks, buddy. Knock them, Dad.
Knock them.
Roll the
oldie blast from the past from the rock and roll graveyard.
Go show business is my life.
But.
I guess when I told Louise we lost our star, she just panicked and called her
dentist. You said it was going to be the first steps. It turned out to be the
last rights.
Well, I don't think it was that bad. I don't think anybody noticed you up
Didn't notice me? No, the only way they wouldn't notice me is if they were too
busy staring at you.
All right, maybe they caught a brief glimpse of you. But look, I'm sorry. I
really meant it with the best of intentions.
I know you meant it with the best of intentions. And do you know how...
Well, I don't mean to be.
Look,
Rick, I tell you what.
Why don't we meet tomorrow and have a couple of beers and we'll talk the whole
thing over? Because I won't be here tomorrow.
Where are you going?
Who knows?
You know, wherever the road takes me.
You know, when I was standing in the wings waiting to make my entrance
I was so terrified that I could feel my heart beating in my brain.
But behind that fear, there was an excitement.
when Ricky Fortune was back.
He was on that stage.
And if I could just have sung a couple of songs... If I could have just sung...
Oh, what does it matter? I mean, it's...
It's only rock and roll.
No hard feelings?
No. No hard feelings.
Hey. That's show business.
Hey. Rick.
Rick. What happened to Ricky?
He's gone, Ralph.
because she booked a hotter act.
Oh, I'm sorry, John. Next time I'll just have to rein myself in.
Where's Ricky?
Oh, where do you think he is? He's gone. I mean, how could you, Louise?
But he's supposed to be on now.
I thought Freddy and the Dreamers were on now.
They finished. They just stopped by to do the one song because it was for a
worthy cause. Now Rick takes over.
Well, why didn't you tell me that?
What are we going to do?
The Woodstock Nation is starting to get restless.
We've got to do something. These people are demanding to see Ricky Fortune. Oh,
don't be ridiculous. They wouldn't know Ricky Fortune if they tripped over Ricky
Fortune. Well, all I'm saying is that we're going to have to get real
and break out the tear gas if these people don't see some used -up, middle
has -been with a guitar on that stage.
Next on L .A. Law, James Earl Jones returns as the crafty attorney who once
bested Van Owen. What will be the outcome of this courtroom rematch?
Saturday, John George Burns, Shelley Long, Tiffany, and Super Bowl
for Bob Hoops' Super Bowl party.
Then, Blanche and Sophia battle over a bow in a laugh -filled Golden Girls.
Saturday.
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