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ADULT ADAM: Back in the '80s, before you could buy everything
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00:00:02,770 --> 00:00:04,169
from your couch, you had to drive
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00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:05,738
to an actual location to get stuff.
4
00:00:05,740 --> 00:00:08,507
This magical place was known as "The mall."
5
00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:11,143
It was the center of every teenager's universe.
6
00:00:11,145 --> 00:00:14,747
And nobody loved the mall more than my brother and sister.
7
00:00:14,749 --> 00:00:16,949
Mmm!
Hickory farms samples!
8
00:00:16,951 --> 00:00:17,950
What's better
than free meat?
9
00:00:17,952 --> 00:00:19,852
Do you even know
what you're eating right now?
10
00:00:19,854 --> 00:00:22,354
Hello?
It's summer sausage.
11
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:24,790
It's delicious
because it's made by the sun.
12
00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:27,826
This just might be
the best day of my life.
13
00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:28,460
Oh, no!
14
00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:31,263
ADULT ADAM: For my brother, the mall took a dark turn
15
00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:33,232
when it was time to make the lemonade.
16
00:00:33,234 --> 00:00:35,634
Attention, perverts!
17
00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:38,670
Look away from
the hot dog on a stick girl
18
00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:40,372
or face my fury!
19
00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:41,340
Uh, Barry?
What's the deal?
20
00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:44,276
Well, honey,
similar to Bruce Lee in
Enter the dragon,
21
00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:46,545
I am about
to fight everyone!
22
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,881
Erica, hold my meat.
Hold your own meat!
23
00:00:48,883 --> 00:00:51,817
Babe, these guys aren't here
just to watch me
make lemonade.
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00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:54,019
They do it for everyone.
See? Look at Dave Kim.
25
00:00:54,021 --> 00:00:55,587
Boo!
(CROWD GROANS)
26
00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:57,156
That's right,
that's right.
27
00:00:57,158 --> 00:00:58,157
Walk away.
28
00:00:58,159 --> 00:00:59,324
Will you stop it?
29
00:00:59,326 --> 00:01:00,092
I want to keep this job.
30
00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:02,227
The money's good, and I got
my eye on one of those.
31
00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:04,663
The best yellow boom box
money can buy.
32
00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:05,664
Look at all that yellow!
33
00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:08,300
It's so compact
and waterproof.
34
00:01:08,302 --> 00:01:10,069
That's perfect
for my swim routine.
35
00:01:10,071 --> 00:01:10,736
Well, keep dreaming,
36
00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,738
'cause there's no way
Dad's ever gonna buy us one.
37
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:14,706
Well, you could always
get jobs.
38
00:01:14,708 --> 00:01:14,973
A job?
39
00:01:14,975 --> 00:01:17,342
How would I be able to spend
time after school at the mall
40
00:01:17,344 --> 00:01:19,111
if I already have a job
after school at the mall?
41
00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:22,648
Eh, too bad, 'cause they're
hiring at Spencer's Gifts.
42
00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:24,083
ADULT ADAM:
Ah, Spencer's Gifts,
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00:01:24,085 --> 00:01:24,983
the mall's one and only novelty store
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00:01:24,985 --> 00:01:29,621
that specialized in wacky gag gifts guaranteed to offend.
45
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:30,389
BOTH: Whoa!
46
00:01:30,391 --> 00:01:32,758
I can actually get a job
at the store
47
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,961
I bought two of my four
Spuds MacKenzie posters?
48
00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:37,496
This is a dream come true!
49
00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:39,832
'Cause I need money
and they're hiring!
50
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:43,035
Dad, we need you to sign
a permission slip.
51
00:01:43,037 --> 00:01:44,803
Ask your mother.
She's not home.
52
00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:46,138
I hope it's not
time-sensitive.
53
00:01:46,140 --> 00:01:47,072
Good luck to both of you.
54
00:01:47,074 --> 00:01:48,474
We both got jobs
at Spencer's Gifts,
55
00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:50,309
and we can't start
until we get parental consent.
56
00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:51,777
Give it to me!
I'll sign it right now!
57
00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:53,645
Before you do,
you should really understand
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00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:54,680
what you're agreeing to.
I agree.
59
00:01:54,682 --> 00:01:57,116
Just know if you
sign that slip,
there's a good chance
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00:01:57,118 --> 00:01:59,518
we'll become fully independent
and move out.
61
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:00,252
Damn it, where's my pen?
62
00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:01,653
You might not even
have to pay for college.
63
00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:03,522
I need my pen!
Here you go, Father.
64
00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:05,757
Let's sign this baby.
65
00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:08,660
And that's just
one of the many
hilarious items
66
00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:09,995
we'll be selling
at Spencer's Gifts.
67
00:02:09,997 --> 00:02:13,565
Not even you being a moron
can spoil my mood.
68
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:16,401
This is the greatest day
of my life!
69
00:02:16,403 --> 00:02:17,936
Uh, this'll work.
70
00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:19,271
¶ I'm twisted up inside
71
00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:23,142
¶ But nonetheless I feel the need to say
72
00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:26,612
¶ I don't know the future
73
00:02:26,614 --> 00:02:30,382
¶ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ¶
74
00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:34,253
¶ I see your true colors shining through ¶
75
00:02:34,255 --> 00:02:36,722
ADULT ADAM:
It was February 15th, 1980-something,
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00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:38,790
and I was hard at work honing my skills
77
00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:40,926
as a VHS home-movie maker.
78
00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:42,995
Not everyone was a fan, but there was
79
00:02:42,997 --> 00:02:46,498
one blond-haired lady who couldn't get enough.
80
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,233
Yeah,
I stare at him, too.
81
00:02:48,235 --> 00:02:48,700
(CHUCKLES)
82
00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:50,836
It's hard to believe
that the bigger he gets,
83
00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:52,704
the more delicious
he becomes, huh?
84
00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:54,506
ERICA: Are we looking
at the same thing?
85
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,008
The hell is in your
son's hands right now?
86
00:02:56,010 --> 00:02:59,678
Why does he have a waterproof
Sports Boombox with mega bass
87
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,880
when we had to get jobs
to get one?
88
00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:03,682
Adam is not like
the two of you.
89
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,951
He can't just work
any old job.
90
00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:08,754
He's, uh...
What do I want to say here...
91
00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:09,688
Better than you.
92
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,190
He's better than you!
You can't say that!
93
00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:12,624
I knew you'd understand.
94
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:15,994
Dad, tell your wife
to tell your boy son
95
00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:18,363
that he needs to get a job,
like the rest of us.
96
00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:19,464
Hey, moron!
97
00:03:19,466 --> 00:03:21,066
Get a job,
like the other two morons.
98
00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:24,203
No, thanks. See, I'm not
so much the job guy.
99
00:03:24,205 --> 00:03:26,171
I'm more the guy
behind the job guy
100
00:03:26,173 --> 00:03:28,040
who just sits there
and plays with his toys.
101
00:03:28,042 --> 00:03:30,108
You get it.
I don't. Get a job.
102
00:03:30,110 --> 00:03:33,412
No, n-n-n-n-n-n-no.
Adam doesn't need a job.
103
00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:35,214
He's already got a career.
Doing what?
104
00:03:35,216 --> 00:03:38,116
Adam is going to be
a famous director.
105
00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:39,918
Mmm.
And if you don't believe me,
106
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,453
just ask his
guidance counselor.
107
00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:44,223
No, your son would do
miserably in Hollywood,
108
00:03:44,225 --> 00:03:44,957
and that's a fact.
109
00:03:44,959 --> 00:03:47,559
My son is a star,
and you're gonna die alone!
110
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:48,927
While I do feel that way,
111
00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:50,662
I'm just stating
the hard truth.
112
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,264
It's more likely
that your puny son
113
00:03:52,266 --> 00:03:54,299
will become a power forward
for the Sixers
114
00:03:54,301 --> 00:03:56,068
than a big
Hollywood muckety-muck.
115
00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:56,468
Oh, no, Mama.
116
00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:58,837
I don't want to play whatever
sport he's talking about.
117
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:00,038
Don't worry, sweet potato.
118
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:01,974
Mr. Glascott
doesn't know anything.
119
00:04:01,976 --> 00:04:03,141
Oh, but I do.
120
00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:05,310
You see, I once made
my way out to LA.
121
00:04:05,312 --> 00:04:06,445
With my own
foolish dreams.
122
00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:10,115
I thought I'd become
a big-time
Hollywood scriptwriter.
123
00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:12,217
I even wrote a teleplay.
124
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:13,518
"Sole brothers"?
125
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,887
MR. GLASCOTT:
That's "Sole" spelled S-O-L-E.
126
00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:18,757
Upon their father's death,
two brothers take the reins,
127
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:21,827
or laces
of the family shoe store.
128
00:04:21,829 --> 00:04:25,163
They're detectives,
but they have
different styles.
129
00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:27,532
You really need to read it.
No, I don't.
130
00:04:27,534 --> 00:04:28,467
What are you telling
my boy?
131
00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:30,736
I'm telling your son the same
thing Robert Wagner told me
132
00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:33,205
when I approached him
in the men's room
at Chasen's,
133
00:04:33,207 --> 00:04:34,473
"This is inappropriate."
134
00:04:34,475 --> 00:04:35,574
Okay, let me clean this up.
135
00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:38,110
He's saying you're definitely
not gonna make it.
136
00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:39,278
Good talk.
137
00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:40,879
But Mom believes in me.
138
00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:42,147
Yeah, well,
she also believes
139
00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:44,850
that Erica's gonna be
on the cover of Rolling Stone
140
00:04:44,852 --> 00:04:46,351
and Barry's
gonna be a surgeon.
141
00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:49,688
Oh, sweet balls! None of those
things are ever gonna happen!
142
00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:50,322
I have to get a job.
143
00:04:50,324 --> 00:04:53,659
But you already have one,
making wonderful home movies
144
00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:56,061
and winning the
Academy Award of my heart.
145
00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:56,695
Mom, it's okay.
146
00:04:56,697 --> 00:05:00,032
Based on Mr. Glascott's
tale of broken dreams,
147
00:05:00,034 --> 00:05:01,199
I should explore
my options.
148
00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:03,435
Okay, fine.
You can try one job.
149
00:05:03,437 --> 00:05:06,471
But as soon
as everyone realizes
that this a detour
150
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:08,440
from what is obviously
your destiny,
151
00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:11,109
you're going back to being
my little moviemaker.
152
00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:13,312
Boom! He's getting a job.
153
00:05:13,314 --> 00:05:14,613
There you go.
154
00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:15,714
Oh, speaking of
my screenplay,
155
00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:19,117
I mocked up a poster
to help sell it in the room.
156
00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:22,521
These are
twin shoe salesmen/detectives,
157
00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:24,256
Jeffrey Sole and
David Alan brothers.
158
00:05:24,258 --> 00:05:26,892
If they're brothers,
why do they have
different last names?
159
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:28,627
If you read the script,
you'd understand!
160
00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:31,630
ADULT ADAM: While I was warming to the novelty of having a job,
161
00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:34,199
Barry and Erica were warming to their jobs
162
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:35,534
of selling novelties.
163
00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:36,635
And last but not least,
164
00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:41,640
we have our edible underpants
in all flavors and sizes.
165
00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:43,508
Questions?
I got one.
166
00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:44,609
This place is awesome.
167
00:05:44,611 --> 00:05:46,478
That's not a question,
kiss-ass.
168
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:47,446
That's all right.
169
00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:49,781
I share young Barry's verve
for the gag game.
170
00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:52,918
Well, sir, I'm gonna learn
everything about this place,
171
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:54,619
starting with
the exploding golf balls.
172
00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:56,988
Sorry.
Barry offers enthusiasm,
but not much else.
173
00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:58,824
Really?
'Cause on his application,
174
00:05:58,826 --> 00:05:59,991
he said he was a genius
175
00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:02,461
who was studying
pre-brain-surgery.
176
00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:05,931
Yep. (COUGHS)
They explode, all right.
177
00:06:05,933 --> 00:06:06,998
Okay, here's what
you need to know.
178
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:10,435
Barry's gonna break stuff,
scare customers,
hurt himself.
179
00:06:10,437 --> 00:06:12,571
But he's my brother
and I love the dope,
180
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:14,773
so I'm offering
to be a buffer.
181
00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:16,708
Thanks for the heads-up,
Erica.
182
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,977
How could you!
What?
183
00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:21,546
I heard everything,
thanks to this!
184
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,515
You sold me out
on the first day?
185
00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:25,984
I'm just protecting you
from the biggest danger
186
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:27,018
in your life... you.
187
00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:29,721
You really think
you're better than me
at everything?
188
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:30,155
That I'm a joke?
189
00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:32,691
Barry, you're covered
in exploding golf ball dust.
190
00:06:32,693 --> 00:06:33,625
Well, you're the joke.
191
00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:36,828
'Cause I'm not just gonna be
the greatest brain doctor,
192
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:41,032
I'm also gonna be
the greatest Spencer's Gifts
employee.
193
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:42,300
How, you ask?
194
00:06:42,302 --> 00:06:42,901
I'll Out-Spencer Gifts you.
195
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:45,804
Now, I got to get myself
a new shirt,
'cause this one's ruined.
196
00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:50,275
ADULT ADAM:
And so began the great Goldberg Spencer Gift-off.
197
00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:52,844
Sold my first item.
Suck it.
198
00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:55,947
Yep, my brother was convinced he would walk away the winner.
199
00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:57,682
Meanwhile, I needed a job myself,
200
00:06:57,684 --> 00:07:00,519
and it was gonna take a true miracle.
201
00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:01,887
Wait a minute.
202
00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:02,721
Help found!
203
00:07:02,723 --> 00:07:05,323
If I could pass the impossible interview.
204
00:07:05,325 --> 00:07:07,192
How many quarters
are in a dollar?
205
00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:08,093
Four.
206
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:09,694
I'll be in the back,
taking a nap.
207
00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:12,497
Sweet.
Oh. And we're running
a promotion.
208
00:07:12,499 --> 00:07:14,966
Every "A" a kid has
on his report card,
209
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,101
he gets a quarter.
210
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,602
Got it?
Sir, yes, sir!
211
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:19,104
Don't do that.
212
00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:21,840
Dad,
today I became a man!
213
00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:23,875
Go brag to your friends
and your Grandpa.
214
00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:25,143
That's not a "me" thing.
215
00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:26,912
No, no! I got a job!
216
00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:27,712
A real one?
217
00:07:27,714 --> 00:07:29,681
Yep, at my favorite place
in the world,
218
00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:30,916
the arcade.
219
00:07:30,918 --> 00:07:33,185
All my children
have jobs?
220
00:07:33,187 --> 00:07:34,085
This is my dream.
221
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:35,487
I close my eyes,
and this is what I see.
222
00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:39,057
That's a sad dream,
but you have a sad life,
so I get it.
223
00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:40,225
Come here!
224
00:07:40,227 --> 00:07:42,027
What's happening?
This is me hugging you.
225
00:07:42,029 --> 00:07:44,396
No!
I'm hugging you!
Just accept it!
226
00:07:44,398 --> 00:07:46,131
Mom! Dad's trying to hug me!
227
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:48,600
Oh, Murray,
you're finally expressing
228
00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:50,769
your love and affection
towards your children!
229
00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:52,938
No, the little weird one
got a job!
230
00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:54,739
What? Who would hire him?
231
00:07:54,741 --> 00:07:55,974
Don't know. Don't care.
232
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,009
I thought he'd be
singing in a wig for years.
233
00:07:58,011 --> 00:08:00,212
Me, too.
Now, if you don't mind,
234
00:08:00,214 --> 00:08:01,713
I'm gonna go adjust
my change belt.
235
00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:03,281
It was hanging
a little low.
236
00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:04,115
(CLICKS TONGUE)
237
00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:07,552
How could you let him
accept a job
and be part of the world?
238
00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:08,420
I didn't do anything.
It was easy.
239
00:08:08,422 --> 00:08:11,256
It's fine.
I'll just wait it out until
he quits or gets fired.
240
00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:14,759
Or he'll learn
responsibility and pride
from a job well done.
241
00:08:14,761 --> 00:08:16,027
Oh, shut the (BLEEP) up,
Murray.
242
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:18,330
ADULT ADAM: As my parents debated my new job,
243
00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:20,966
Erica was settling into hers.
244
00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:22,000
Welcome to Spencer's.
245
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,168
Shopping for anything
in particular?
246
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:25,804
We're looking for party favors
for Billy's birthday.
247
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:27,539
I'm turning this much!
248
00:08:27,541 --> 00:08:29,508
Okay...
Whatever that is.
249
00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:31,176
Well, we have
great stuff for kids.
250
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:33,912
Balloons, fake tattoos,
bouncy balls.
251
00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:35,680
Boring! (CHUCKLES)
252
00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:38,650
Let me guess, William,
you like poo-poo?
253
00:08:38,886 --> 00:08:40,218
You like fake barf?
254
00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:42,521
You like big ol' farts?
Yes!
255
00:08:42,523 --> 00:08:44,456
Then come with me,
'cause you're gonna have
256
00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:46,892
the best birthday
farty ever!
257
00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:48,026
Yay!
258
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,094
BARRY: Let's go, little man.
259
00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:51,429
I know you were worried
about your brother,
260
00:08:51,431 --> 00:08:52,864
but he's actually
doing great.
261
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:56,301
I'd say he's really embraced
the spirit of Spencer's.
262
00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:58,970
Yeah, well,
he's not the only one.
263
00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:00,505
Watch this.
264
00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:02,974
Hey, handsome.
Welcome to Spencer's.
265
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:04,409
Can I help you
with anything?
266
00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:05,744
Nah, just kinda browsing.
267
00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:07,846
Dude! You like chicks?
268
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:08,847
Um... Yeah.
269
00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:10,048
I'm kind of
talking to one.
270
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,116
Yeah, he's kind of
talking to one.
271
00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:14,819
What about chicks in bikinis
sun tanning on
rad sports cars?
272
00:09:14,821 --> 00:09:17,556
Isn't that better
than this dud?
Yeah, probably.
273
00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:18,690
Then step to your right
274
00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:20,759
and check out
our sweet posters!
275
00:09:20,761 --> 00:09:21,960
ADULT ADAM:
And for the first time,
276
00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:23,895
Barry was Out-Spencering Erica.
277
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,664
My Lord,
look at that boy!
278
00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:29,768
Scooping up every super car
and boobie poster we got.
279
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:30,535
Just doing my job, sir.
280
00:09:30,537 --> 00:09:33,338
I know this is a small detour
on your way to becoming
281
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:36,441
a big-time brain surgeon,
but how would you like
282
00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:38,276
to be assistant manager?
BOTH: What?
283
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:41,079
I've been looking for somebody
to help me run this place.
284
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,447
I found him.
What do you say?
285
00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:44,482
I say you're gonna be
out of business in two weeks.
286
00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:45,884
Thank you
for this opportunity.
287
00:09:45,886 --> 00:09:48,286
Erica, your brilliant
brother's in charge.
288
00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:51,790
Now, I'm gonna go
lose myself in a Cinnabon.
289
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:53,058
BARRY: Well, well, well.
290
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:56,227
Looks like the master
has become the student.
291
00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:57,128
That's not the expression.
292
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:59,698
It is now,
'cause Barry's the boss.
293
00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:03,768
And the Boss Barry says
clean all the dribble glasses
294
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:05,937
and restock the fake turds.
295
00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:08,940
ADULT ADAM:
As Erica faced the wrath of a new boss,
296
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:11,142
I was facing bossy customers.
297
00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:13,345
Hey, there.
Nine quarters, please.
298
00:10:13,347 --> 00:10:15,347
What's this?
It's my report card.
299
00:10:15,349 --> 00:10:16,715
I'm a straight-A student.
300
00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:17,782
But I go to school
with you,
301
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,284
and the report cards
haven't come out yet.
302
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:20,452
Then why am I holding one?
303
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:21,252
That's from three years ago!
304
00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:24,422
Plus, those aren't A's.
They're F's
you turned into A's.
305
00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:26,324
Nuh-uh.
Look.
306
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:27,392
A's don't have
right angles.
307
00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:30,328
You should know that
'cause you got an "A"
in geometry.
308
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:31,997
Well, here's something
you should know.
309
00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:33,398
Give me
a fistful of quarters
310
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,900
before I give you
a faceful of fist.
311
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:36,935
(CLICKING)
312
00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:39,638
Oh, yeah,
she's got nine A's, too.
313
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:40,338
What? No way!
314
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:41,539
I've got my report card
right here.
315
00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:44,509
That's a napkin!
Less talking,
more clicking.
316
00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:46,111
(CLICKING)
317
00:10:46,113 --> 00:10:46,778
That's it.
318
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:48,613
Look me in the eye
as you do it.
319
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:50,949
Don't you look away!
320
00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:55,353
ADULT ADAM:
Still day one at my new job,
321
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:58,590
and I was already feeling like it was "Game over."
322
00:10:58,592 --> 00:10:59,924
Dude, where'd all
these people come from?
323
00:10:59,926 --> 00:11:01,960
Everybody heard
I was giving out free money!
324
00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:03,595
But that's not even
a report card!
325
00:11:03,597 --> 00:11:04,863
That's a Sbarro box!
326
00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:06,431
I know, Dave Kim!
327
00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:07,832
I've lost control.
328
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,234
I'm gonna get fired.
329
00:11:09,236 --> 00:11:10,602
Oh, for sure.
330
00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:12,771
Ah, dang it!
I'm all out!
331
00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:13,838
You're gonna need
more quarters.
332
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:17,142
Wait! I've got
all the quarters in the world!
333
00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:18,276
I had the perfect plan.
334
00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:20,011
I would just borrow a couple quarters
335
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,980
from the machine.
Free quarters!
336
00:11:21,982 --> 00:11:24,482
Oh, God! Not part of the plan!
337
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:26,685
What the hell
is going on?
338
00:11:26,687 --> 00:11:28,253
It's a funny story,
really.
339
00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:31,322
I gave out free money.
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
340
00:11:31,324 --> 00:11:32,757
It's not funny.
341
00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:38,229
Okay. Those beer helmets
are clean enough.
342
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:40,932
Go tidy up
the naughty novelty
section in the back.
343
00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:43,134
ERICA: No.
There's creepos over there.
344
00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:44,736
And they're not
buying anything.
345
00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:47,572
Erica, you're objecting
to a direct order
346
00:11:47,574 --> 00:11:48,473
from your superior.
347
00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:50,341
Know what would happen
if this was the army?
348
00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:53,111
Uh, this isn't the army.
We sell butt mugs.
349
00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:53,845
Watch yourself.
350
00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:56,915
Oh, Leon, I'm gonna need
the keys to the glass case.
351
00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:57,615
The glass case?
352
00:11:57,617 --> 00:12:00,318
With the pewter dragons
holding the crystal balls?
353
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,654
I haven't opened this case
in years.
354
00:12:02,656 --> 00:12:05,423
Yeah, I saw this stupid
goth kid in the mall,
355
00:12:05,425 --> 00:12:09,060
and I said to myself,
"That kid'll buy a dragon."
356
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,296
So I struck up a convo,
and he's coming in.
357
00:12:11,298 --> 00:12:13,031
Oh, my God.
358
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,333
Son, you've got it.
359
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:16,668
The gift.
360
00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:18,670
The Spencer's gift.
361
00:12:18,672 --> 00:12:20,238
Come on.
That's not a thing.
362
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,140
(SNIFFLES)
This is a big moment for me.
363
00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:25,910
(LAUGHING) I-I've never
said this before.
364
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:27,645
You can lock up tonight.
You sure?
365
00:12:27,647 --> 00:12:31,216
I've never been more sure
about anything in my life.
366
00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:33,818
You!
367
00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:35,520
Learn from him.
368
00:12:35,522 --> 00:12:36,988
He has the gift.
369
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:38,289
Spencer's gift, sure.
370
00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:39,858
BARRY: Well,
would you look at that.
371
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:41,359
First,
I'm made the boss.
372
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:43,261
Now I get the keys
to the store.
373
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:45,196
I don't even have
the keys to the house.
374
00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:47,732
I have to sit in the tree
until someone comes home!
375
00:12:47,734 --> 00:12:48,867
I have to hand it to you,
376
00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:50,368
you really did
out-spencer gifts me.
377
00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:52,837
Eh, don't feel bad.
Not everyone has the gift.
378
00:12:52,839 --> 00:12:56,441
If anything,
I feel bad you don't get
to see Chuck Norris.
379
00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:58,343
Chuck Norris?
What about him?
380
00:12:58,345 --> 00:13:00,678
Oh, he's signing his new book
at B. Dalton.
381
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:02,013
What's it called?
382
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:02,614
Uh...
383
00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:04,649
"Punching America
in the throat."
384
00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:05,316
Damn it!
385
00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:07,085
Why are the two
most important things
386
00:13:07,087 --> 00:13:08,319
that ever happened
to me tonight?
387
00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:10,822
I guess...
I could cover for you.
388
00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:12,390
Thank you, Erica.
389
00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:14,025
You know,
you're not a good employee,
390
00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:15,827
but you're
an average sister.
391
00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:18,363
ADULT ADAM: Erica knew that in order to beat Barry,
392
00:13:18,365 --> 00:13:19,864
she'd have to play dirty.
393
00:13:19,866 --> 00:13:22,901
Meanwhile, I had to clean up the mess I made at work.
394
00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:23,601
It was terrible.
395
00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:25,370
They shook me down
for all my quarters.
396
00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:27,338
Was one dressed
like a ditzy redhead
397
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:30,241
and the other like
a smart-alec shoeshiner?
398
00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:32,477
Albert, not everything
is a grift.
399
00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:33,978
Face it, Mom was right.
400
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:35,680
I'm not qualified
to do anything
401
00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:37,315
besides make
stupid home movies.
402
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,384
We can fix this, together.
403
00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:40,952
How much
they get you for?
404
00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:41,486
$110.
405
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:42,787
You're gonna fix this
on your own.
406
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:43,855
Fine.
I'll think of something.
407
00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:44,789
Just don't tell Mom
I got fired.
408
00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:49,294
Yes! I heard everything,
thanks to Barry's
stupid giant ear.
409
00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:52,030
Our Hollywood dreams
are back on the table.
410
00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:52,630
(GROANS)
(CHUCKLES)
411
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:55,600
Mom, you got to stop.
I just lost a real job.
412
00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:57,035
You know
what else is real?
413
00:13:57,037 --> 00:13:59,337
You walking me
down the red carpet
414
00:13:59,339 --> 00:13:59,971
at the Academy Awards.
415
00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:02,707
To be clear,
if I ever get a job
in show business,
416
00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:05,543
I am not taking you
as my date to anything.
417
00:14:05,545 --> 00:14:07,478
Of course you are.
(SCOFFS) I'm super not.
418
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,981
Well, who else
are you gonna take?
Um, my wife?
419
00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:11,316
Oh, it's cool.
She'll understand.
420
00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:13,318
No, she won't.
I'll talk to her.
She'll get it.
421
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,320
You stay away from her.
Seriously.
422
00:14:15,322 --> 00:14:16,521
She didn't sign up
for this.
423
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:18,590
So, what, I'm the only one
who believes in you,
424
00:14:18,592 --> 00:14:19,991
but I have to read
about your successes
425
00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:23,161
in People magazine,
like some poor slob
at a dentist's office?
426
00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:25,263
I'll tell you before
the article comes out, okay?
427
00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:28,366
If I pay back the arcade,
can I go to the Oscars then?
428
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:31,069
You can ride with me
and my wife in the limo,
429
00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:33,671
but you can't go in.
I'll find a way.
430
00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:35,440
No! You're not
bailing him out of this.
431
00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:37,475
This is his job,
not yours.
432
00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:39,644
You got to find a way
to solve it on your own.
433
00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:43,014
And I just did,
by trading in my
future happiness for cash.
434
00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:45,450
Here's your money,
plus a little extra
435
00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:47,252
because you're
a special boy.
436
00:14:47,254 --> 00:14:48,553
Hey, my special-boy money!
437
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:49,687
I'm gonna be brutal here
438
00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:51,122
because your mom's
in la-la land.
439
00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:54,259
You're not a boy,
and you're not special!
440
00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:55,426
What are you saying?
441
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:57,528
He's not
some magic star.
442
00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:58,963
He's a regular Joe
443
00:14:58,965 --> 00:15:02,100
who's got to learn the value
of a hard day's work.
444
00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:04,569
By wearing wigs
and making home movies.
445
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:07,071
Oh, my God!
What are you
doing to this kid?
446
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,106
I'm being his mother.
447
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:09,707
Well, I'm being his father.
448
00:15:09,709 --> 00:15:11,009
Welcome to reality.
449
00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:12,744
You go down to that job,
450
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:15,380
and you solve it
any way you can!
451
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:21,352
Solve it!
452
00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:23,488
What a rip!
453
00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:24,923
Chuck Norris
wasn't even there,
454
00:15:24,925 --> 00:15:26,791
just some lady
named Maya Angelou.
455
00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:28,693
She didn't know anything
about karate.
456
00:15:28,695 --> 00:15:31,129
Barry. We need to talk.
457
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:32,864
Leon.
What are you doing back?
458
00:15:32,866 --> 00:15:35,333
Someone paged me
to come back to the store.
459
00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:38,336
When I got here,
you were gone...
460
00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:40,004
And so were
all the bottled farts.
461
00:15:40,006 --> 00:15:41,940
Oh, no!
Not the bottled farts!
462
00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:42,707
Yes, the bottled farts.
463
00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:45,743
When I saw all the
bottled farts were gone,
I was excited.
464
00:15:45,745 --> 00:15:47,545
I thought you sold
the bottled farts.
465
00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:50,648
But now it seems
you lost the bottled farts.
466
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,050
I'd never lose
the bottled farts.
467
00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:54,686
Barry, do you understand
that each bottled fart
468
00:15:54,688 --> 00:15:58,056
was ass-crafted
by a third-generation fartist
469
00:15:58,058 --> 00:15:59,190
in Pueblo, Colorado?
470
00:15:59,192 --> 00:16:00,725
So they just fart
into the bottles?
471
00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:03,328
Oh, it's so much more
than that.
472
00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:08,366
Inside every bottled fart
lives a child's wish.
473
00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:11,102
And now all those wishes
have vanished,
474
00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:14,305
like...
Something in the wind.
475
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:15,606
A squeaky fart?
476
00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:16,307
Damn it.
477
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,910
No one gets it
like you, Barry.
478
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,612
But I still need
that name tag.
479
00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:25,350
Wait! You can't fire him
for just losing some farts.
480
00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:27,885
It's not about the farts.
481
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:30,488
It's about trust.
482
00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:33,591
You broke my heart, son.
483
00:16:34,728 --> 00:16:35,360
You did this.
484
00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:37,895
You couldn't deal
with the fact that
I was better than you,
485
00:16:37,897 --> 00:16:41,666
that I was good at something,
that I'll be a doctor one day.
486
00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:44,102
Barry...
No! Just don't talk to me.
487
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:49,440
ADULT ADAM:
My arcade job was a bust,
488
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:51,909
but I had the perfect way to get my money back.
489
00:16:51,911 --> 00:16:54,312
Yo, ponytail!
Give me my damn money!
490
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:56,214
No.
Okay, that didn't work.
491
00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:58,516
Please do the right thing
and give me my money.
492
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:01,753
I've considered your offer,
and I have a counteroffer.
493
00:17:01,755 --> 00:17:02,120
Eat my butt.
494
00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:04,389
I totally thought
you were gonna do
the right thing,
495
00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:05,323
and then
you offered your butt!
496
00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:07,992
Can you guys please
just give me the money back?
497
00:17:07,994 --> 00:17:10,395
Sorry, man.
I need that money
to feed my family.
498
00:17:10,397 --> 00:17:12,263
Really?
No. My dad's a lawyer.
499
00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:14,165
He has that commercial
where he wears a neck brace
500
00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:16,768
and tells you his number is
dos dos dos, dos dos dos,
501
00:17:16,770 --> 00:17:17,702
dos dos dos dos.
502
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:20,204
Wait! That's it!
I know how to fix this!
503
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:21,706
Is it by you giving us
more quarters?
504
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:25,076
No, but what if I told you
I could make you stars?
505
00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:27,879
Johnny's already a star.
You're a star, Johnny.
506
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,881
I know, girl.
Everybody knows.
507
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:30,515
So, you'll do it?
508
00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:33,151
Sure. But I got
two questions for you.
509
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:34,619
Can I play my sax?
510
00:17:34,621 --> 00:17:36,888
And how loud
can I play my sax?
511
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,156
(MUSIC PLAYING)
512
00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:39,190
Yeah!
513
00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:41,292
Do you like video games?
514
00:17:41,294 --> 00:17:42,427
Do you like girls?
515
00:17:42,429 --> 00:17:45,596
Do you like girls who like video games?
516
00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:46,998
Hey, big boy.
517
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,233
How 'bout we make that two-player?
518
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,535
Well, all right.
519
00:17:50,537 --> 00:17:53,004
Come on down to Challenges Arcade.
520
00:17:53,006 --> 00:17:57,508
All the latest games, from Asteroids to Zaxxon.
521
00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:59,243
Did somebody say "Zaxxon"?
522
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:01,379
More like sax-on.
523
00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:03,414
(SAXOPHONE SOLO)
524
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:07,351
Dude, this commercial's
gonna be awesome.
525
00:18:07,353 --> 00:18:09,954
Commercial, huh?
Not a bad idea.
526
00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:11,656
And it can be yours
for only $5,000.
527
00:18:11,658 --> 00:18:15,827
How about no dollars
and you can have
your job back?
528
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:17,562
Deal.
529
00:18:19,365 --> 00:18:20,631
Hey.
530
00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:21,666
Go away, fart thief.
531
00:18:21,668 --> 00:18:23,901
Well, maybe
this will cheer you up.
532
00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:26,604
Huh? Whoopee cushion?
533
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:27,338
Bug in an ice cube?
534
00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:29,574
Even though all those
items are hilarious,
535
00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:31,576
you can't make up
for what you did.
536
00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:33,111
(SIGHS)
537
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:36,214
Okay, fine.
538
00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:38,049
I paged Leon, and...
539
00:18:38,051 --> 00:18:42,019
I hid all of the
stinky bottles
in the stockroom.
540
00:18:42,689 --> 00:18:45,323
I did it
because I was jealous.
541
00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:48,459
You're better at
Spencer's Gifts than me.
542
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:49,260
And I'm sorry.
543
00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:51,028
I-I don't want
another gag gift.
544
00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:52,864
No, it's a real one.
545
00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:56,601
(TRUE COLORS PLAYING)
546
00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:59,704
A stethoscope?
For when you're a doctor.
547
00:19:00,106 --> 00:19:01,606
You don't believe that.
548
00:19:01,608 --> 00:19:03,841
Look, I know I'm always
really hard on you,
549
00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:06,410
but watching you at that job
made me see
550
00:19:06,412 --> 00:19:09,447
that when you're passionate
about something,
551
00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:11,215
you can do anything.
552
00:19:11,217 --> 00:19:13,751
So you're gonna be a doctor,
all right?
553
00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:17,722
And a damn good one.
554
00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:20,391
You may not be
a good employee,
555
00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:22,326
but you're a great sister.
556
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:27,465
ANNOUNCER: Challenges arcade, Willow Grove Park Mall.
557
00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:29,000
Is this going on TV?
558
00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:30,468
My boss bought
local air time,
559
00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:32,436
and now the manager
of Spencer's Gifts
560
00:19:32,438 --> 00:19:34,505
wants me to shoot one
for him, too.
561
00:19:34,807 --> 00:19:36,307
Oh, my baby!
562
00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:38,376
Told you, Murray!
He is special!
563
00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:40,978
That's his job,
being amazing!
564
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:44,248
You know, I think
I'm gonna keep my actual job
at the arcade.
565
00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:45,283
What?
Truth is, without it,
566
00:19:45,285 --> 00:19:48,386
I never would have gotten
my first real directing gig.
567
00:19:48,388 --> 00:19:50,354
Dad's right,
a real job is a good thing.
568
00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:53,224
Well, you're still gonna
take me to the Oscars,
though, right?
569
00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:54,392
I'm taking my wife.
570
00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:55,826
You'll take me
to the Emmys.
571
00:19:55,828 --> 00:19:57,428
Eh, I'm taking my wife.
572
00:19:57,430 --> 00:19:59,530
Sure you are.
573
00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:00,932
Bevy.
574
00:20:00,934 --> 00:20:01,766
Fine. I'll stop.
575
00:20:01,768 --> 00:20:04,368
You know, your mom
may be onto something.
576
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:08,839
You might be more special
than I'm giving you
credit for.
577
00:20:08,841 --> 00:20:09,707
You really think so?
578
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,742
Don't get a big head
about it.
579
00:20:11,744 --> 00:20:14,011
But, yeah,
keep making your movies
580
00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:16,981
with the, uh,
singing and the wigs.
581
00:20:16,983 --> 00:20:18,549
I thought you hate the wigs.
582
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:21,319
Oh, I...
I really hate the wigs.
583
00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:24,855
ADULT ADAM:
Sometimes the people who push us the hardest
584
00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:26,724
are the most encouraging of all.
585
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:27,758
Sure, growing up's messy,
586
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,560
but when we accept the love around us,
587
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:32,196
that's when our true colors shine brightest.
588
00:20:32,198 --> 00:20:37,501
¶ And I see your true colors shining through
589
00:20:38,171 --> 00:20:41,339
¶ I see your true colors
590
00:20:41,341 --> 00:20:43,708
¶ And that's why I love you
591
00:20:43,710 --> 00:20:49,647
¶ So don't be afraid to let them show ¶
592
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:54,518
Come on down
to Spencer's Gifts
at the Willow Grove Mall,
593
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:59,023
where our gag gifts
are a sight for sore eyes.
594
00:20:59,025 --> 00:21:00,124
Spencer's!
595
00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:01,492
We've got fake barf!
596
00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:02,793
Underpants wallet!
597
00:21:02,795 --> 00:21:04,128
Real lava lamps!
598
00:21:04,130 --> 00:21:05,830
Whoopie cushions!
(AIR HISSES)
599
00:21:05,832 --> 00:21:07,698
Joy buzzers! Ow.
(BUZZING)
600
00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:08,899
"No fart zone" tape.
601
00:21:08,901 --> 00:21:11,702
Wind-up chattering teeth!
(CHATTERING)
602
00:21:11,871 --> 00:21:13,404
Wacky shirts!
603
00:21:13,406 --> 00:21:14,372
Silly wigs!
604
00:21:14,374 --> 00:21:15,139
Edible underpants!
605
00:21:15,141 --> 00:21:18,309
And, of course,
our best seller...
606
00:21:19,212 --> 00:21:20,478
Bottled farts!
607
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:22,213
And for the woman
in your life,
608
00:21:22,215 --> 00:21:25,750
we have lilac hand lotion,
for some reason. (CHUCKLES)
609
00:21:25,752 --> 00:21:28,252
So, come on down
to Spencer's.
610
00:21:28,254 --> 00:21:30,921
ALL: We've got
shenanigans for you!
52053
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