Original subtitles

Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for

you may not be right for some. A man is born, he's a man of needs.

Then along come two.

They got nothing but the genes, but they got different strokes it takes.

Different strokes it takes.

Different strokes to move the world.

Everybody's got a special kind of story.

You still got that tickle belly? What tickle belly? Daddy!

Wait a minute, let me see something. What is this?

Gee,

Daddy, this was really a neat surprise.

His eyes just sparkled when you showed up out of the blue.

Well, your daddy will see you again real soon, little partner.

When, Daddy? When?

Well, I can't say, son, but you know me. I've already surprised you four times

this year.

Five?

Wes, are you sure you can't stand to have dinner with us? Phil, I'd love to,

if I don't get on the road soon, I'll never make it at that recording session

Nashville. Wes, if you stay, I'll fix fried okra and possum pie.

You fix that, and I'm going to Nashville.

Phil, that's one funny wrangler you got there.

Come here, Sam.

Tell you what, little buddy, next time I come through here, you and me are going

to do some camping.

Camping? Wow!

I can't wait, Daddy.

That's... That's terrific. What a great way for you guys to spend some time

together. It sure is.

Well, I guess it's about time for me to get to getting.

Come on, you two. Give Wes a good old bear hug.

Sure was good seeing you both again.

We enjoyed it. Yeah, I would have enjoyed it more if you weren't crushing

ribs.

Now I know where Arnold gets his sense of humor.

Wes, please, one more slap and Phillip's shoulders will be on the same side.

I read you, Maggie.

Well, gotta be moving on.

Well, all right.

And as my old pappy used to say, y 'all come back now, you hear?

Oh, no.

Where'd you learn to talk like that?

Beverly Hillbillies.

You keep watching, Arnold. It's always good to learn a second language.

Well, little buddy, I'll see you soon.

Remember, keep your compass shiny and your canteen clean.

I will, Daddy.

Adios. Bye, Daddy.

Hurry, bye.

comes and goes faster than the price of a stamp.

Well, I really enjoy him, but I hope he doesn't come back until my ribs

uncrinkle.

I guess I'll go upstairs now.

Hey, Sam, you seem a little down.

No, I just want to finish my homework.

That's not down, that's nuts.

Hey, Sam, honey, come here a second.

Yes, Ma?

Your daddy be blowing back through here before you know it.

And just when you least expect it to.

I guess I just miss him because he's so much fun.

Sam, sweetheart, don't forget Mr. D is here all the time.

He's lots of fun, too.

Mr. D is fun?

You don't have to act so surprised.

I'm sorry, Mr. D. It's just that my daddy, he's a different kind of fun.

He's a roll around in the mud kind of fun.

That's okay, Sam.

Dad's just a roll around in the money kind of fun.

Trust me, Mr.

D is a lot of fun.

It's okay, Mama. I love Mr.

D anyway.

Oh, thanks, Sam. It's mutual.

Poor Sam.

Yep. The boy looks like a frayed frog hair split four ways and sanded.

Hee -haw.

Doesn't sound like Masterpiece Theater.

Hey,

you know that?

I just thought of something you could do for the little red -headed peanut to

cheer him up.

You take him camping.

Camping? Me?

Sure. You and Sam out on the prairies or in the mountains.

Or in the oceans.

White with foam.

Thank you for that bicentennial moment.

But my idea of an outing is more on the lines of taking Sam on a tour of the

stock exchange.

Now, Philip, I think camping is a great idea.

It'll be wonderful for you and Sam. You'll be surprised how much better you

to know each other.

Yeah. All right, Maggie, I'll do it.

Think of the fun, the excitement, the adventure. You won't be sorry?

Arnold, if it's going to be that exciting, then you'll enjoy coming along

us.

I'll be in Cleveland that week.

Arnold, you'll have fun.

Don't forget all the beautiful wildlife you'll see. But, Maggie, I'm a city boy.

I'm just getting used to wildlife on the subway.

It'll be a sport. Hey, I need all the help I can get.

All right, Dad. I'll go camping with you.

I just hope we can find a forest with room service.

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It's spectacular.

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This is the Indiana Jones we've been waiting for. Later PG -13. Tomorrow.

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You can open up your eyes, Donald. All we're doing is I'm...

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Post up with friends in a different world. I'm nervous. I have this tendency

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Spring break.

Look!

Stars and gardens.

It looks like a sporting goods store exploded.

Taylor!

Welcome to the great outdoors.

I love that outfit.

Wow. What is the great outdoors doing indoors?

Well, I was having so much fun trying out all the new equipment, I guess I got

little bit carried away.

Oh, right, Dad.

Everybody goes camping with a solar -powered stock analyzer.

Excuse me, Phillip, but I thought the fun of camping was roughing it.

Oh, we are going to rough it.

I'm not going to take Pearl.

Well, maybe one or two of these items are a little unnecessary, but the rest

this stuff is going to come in very handy. For instance, electric socks.

Electric socks?

What do they do, walk by themselves?

No, Sam, when it's cold, put the socks on, you just drop batteries right in

here. Very cozy.

Electric socks. What will they think of next?

Electric underwear.

Even cozier.

Nice, Dad.

Sort of a human bun warmer.

Wow.

It looks as though you have everything.

Except bear repellent.

Arnold, there aren't any bears where we're going.

Yes, there are.

I'll write you from Cleveland.

Don't worry, Arnold. It's their hibernating season.

It'd be just my luck I got a bear with insomnia.

with the canceled recording session, I figured I'd drop in since I was only 900

miles away.

Sure, as long as you're in the neighborhood.

Ooh -wee, what's going on here, Phil?

Sam and Arnold are going on a camping trip. How long you going for, two years?

I'm just kidding, Phil, but let's face it, you do have an awful lot of

here. Just the basics.

Freeze -dried fettuccine Alfredo.

Hey, that's good stuff.

Look, I don't mean to poke fun at you, Phil. It's just that you and I have two

different ways of going about these things.

Right. When my daddy goes camping, all he takes is a sleeping bag and a guitar.

Well, it is nice to travel light, but I have this peculiar habit.

Every few days or so, I like to eat.

I like to eat, too, but I let the woods feed me.

The woods?

I can't wait to have my first hot bowl of pine sap soup.

know how, you can live off the woods for a long time.

And I've got an idea, Phil. If you don't mind, I could go with you and show you

how. Really?

Boy, that'd be great, Daddy, wouldn't it, Mr. D?

Well... Gee, I don't know where. See, Philip and Sam were going to use this

to get closer.

That's right.

But hey, listen, as long as you two guys were planning a camping trip anyway,

why don't you come along?

The more, the merrier.

Right. And there's always safety in numbers.

That's mighty nice of you, Phil.

We'll have a good time.

Right.

All right.

This looks like a perfect spot to make camp, men.

You sure it's safe?

Sure it's safe.

That's easy for you to say. If a bear attacks you, it'll be a fair fight.

Look, Daddy, we're right next to the lake.

That's right, little buddy.

We'll drag the lake... after a while and have us some crawdads for breakfast.

Can we drag the lake for French toast?

Hey, Phil, you coming?

Yeah.

Yeah.

You look a little tuckered out. Well, me? No, I'm fine. Couldn't be better.

We're not going any further, are we?

I told you not to bring all that equipment.

I got everything I need right here.

What is that thing anyway?

Well, it's a little something I invented.

Sort of a survival stick.

Survival stick?

What does it do?

Harpoon. rescue planes?

I'll show you.

These sections are all hollow and they unscrew.

I got maps in here, compass, snake bite kit, fishing hooks, flares, everything

you need for a two -week stay in the woods.

Impressive. Very impressive.

Thank you. Yep. My daddy's the greatest camper in the world.

Well, thanks, Sam. Not the world.

America, maybe.

I'm sure glad you're out here with me, little partner.

Well, let's get our gear unpacked and get settled in before sundown. Okay.

What do we do now?

Oh,

this roughing is kind of easy.

Okay.

This is going to be very...

He just walked into the tent and sprayed me.

Well, you're going to have to forget about that tent and the sleeping bag.

have to bury him. Can't we bury Dad, too?

Sit down, Phil. Let it fire. Let it warm you up.

Come on, Sam. Let's get Phil some dry clothes.

I'm sorry I forced you to come along on this trip.

Actually, Dad, Wes was showing me how to finish it.

I'm having a good time.

I guess you're not.

Oh, no, aren't I?

Actually, I'm having a ball.

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Oh, good morning.

Morning, Dave. Good morning. I slept like a log.

I feel like I slept with a log.

Silk pajamas?

What's wrong with that?

I read somewhere that Davy Crockett wore silk pajamas.

That was Mrs.

Crockett.

Daddy, I'm hungry.

Hey, Wes.

Do you have any of that food left in your survival stick? A good camper

has plenty of backup provisions, Arnold.

How about some beef jerky?

No, thanks. I'd rather chew on a shoe.

Say, Arnold, that lake should be de -skunked by now.

Let's you and I go catch us some breakfast while Sam and Phil build a

Hey, you know, I think I was getting a nibble yesterday.

It was this big.

I saw it.

Right.

All right.

This should give us enough wood to make a fire to last all day.

Now, have you got a good hold on that, Sam?

Yes, Mr. D., but I feel like a beaver.

Okay, let's go back to Sam.

Uh, right.

Mr. D., where are you going?

The campsite is this way.

Are you sure? No, I think it's this way, Sam.

No, I'm sure it's this way. I can hear our own stomach rumbling.

Now, listen, Sam.

I have never spent any time in the woods, but I know that you have to learn

trust your instincts.

Now, I trust mine, and my instincts tell me to follow you. Let's go.

Mr.

D., can we rest again for a few minutes?

Oh.

Sure, Sam.

You're lost, aren't you, Mr. D?

Lost? No, we're not lost, Sam. We're just taking the scenic route.

Does the scenic route go in circles?

No, of course not.

Well, then we're in trouble, because this is the third time we've passed this

rock.

No, it isn't, Sam.

It just seems like that. All these rocks look the same.

You can say that again.

Look.

What?

Help. We're lost. Signed, Sam McKinney.

I broke that on the rock last time we passed here. My daddy always makes me

carry a piece of chalk.

Don't panic, Sam.

We'll get out of this.

Maybe the best thing for us to do now is just to stay put.

Instead of trying to find our way back to the camp, we'll let Wes and Arnold

find us.

Good idea.

My dad will be able to crack us down easy.

Oh, really? You think so?

Sure. You still smell like skunk.

You did real good out there, Arnold. Thanks. I had a good teacher.

These are the first two fish I ever caught.

You know?

I think I'll name them Ronnie and Nancy.

You're getting to be a regular outdoorsman, son.

Now all you have to do is clean them.

Uh, they just came out of the water. They're already clean.

I wonder where Sam and your dad are. They should be back by now.

They're probably hiding so they don't have to clean the fish.

Then maybe we better go have a look for them.

You think they're lost?

I don't know.

Maybe... Wouldn't you know it?

That little red -handed peanut waste -tailer's in the woods to do what I've

telling him to do for months.

Sam? Bill?

Bless you.

Thank you.

I wonder what time it is.

Oh, it's about 4 .30.

Hey, that's pretty good, Sam.

Did Wes teach you how to tell the time by looking at the position of the sun?

No, I just looked at my watch.

Bless you.

You caught a cold when you jumped into the lake, didn't you, Mr. D?

Boy, that sure was funny.

Surprised you have a cold?

Burr, it's freezing out here.

Hey, listen, Sam, you better take my cold.

No, won't you get cold now?

I'll tell you what, Sam, listen.

Why don't you... sit...

Here, in front of me.

I'll put my arms around you. And that way, we'll both stay warm.

Good idea.

How's that?

Terrific. You're sort of like an electric blanket with arms.

That's right.

Would you turn my nose up to number six?

Mr. D?

Yes, Sam? I guess Arnold's right about me.

I'm just a red -headed doofus.

Sam, you are an outstanding camper.

Mr.

D., can you keep a secret?

If you want me to.

I hate camping.

What?

I thought you loved to go camping.

No way.

Every time I get home from camping, I have nightmares about beef jerky.

Why did you pretend that you loved it?

Because my dad loves it so much, and I don't want to hurt his feelings.

Well, that is very nice of you, Sam.

Thanks, Mr. D. And I figure it'll help me get into heaven, too.

What is this?

Oh, the Wall Street Journal.

Well, might as well have a look at it.

Something to do while we're waiting.

I see AT &T is up a point.

Sam, how do you know about the stock market?

Pearl followed the stock market and she taught me.

Oh, I think I'm paying her too much.

Boy, are those high -tech stocks hot.

Oh, yeah, but you have to be careful.

Some of those companies... Sam McKinney, you're all right.

And you're all right, too, Mr. D.

What is that?

I don't know, Sam.

Mr. D? All right, Sam, I'm here.

Oh, Wes, they're over here.

All right.

Hi, guys.

Oh, Sam.

Dad, we thought you guys ended up as breakfast for Bigfoot.

No, we didn't. We knew you guys would find us.

We're okay, Daddy. We thought Arnold was a wild animal and Mr. D was getting

ready to fight him. Well, thanks, Phil. You've got true grit.

Thanks, Phil. You took good care of the boy.

Listen,

what happened to you guys?

How did you get lost?

Daddy.

It was me. I got us lost. Sam kept telling me we were going in the wrong

direction. I wouldn't listen to him. But what do you expect from a guy that

wears electric socks?

Well, it was a good idea to stay put and let us find you.

Well, you can thank Sam for that. That was his idea.

partner looks like you're gonna follow in your daddy's footsteps you're gonna

a regular outdoorsman right daddy

Sounding good.

That was dedicated to you, Daddy. Even the flat note.

Maybe you should dedicate it to your other daddy. He was pretty terrific to

bring you out here.

Thanks, Wes.

Right. I've got the two best daddies in the whole world. Right, Arnold? Right,

Sam. Hey, you know, I really had a great time out here. I want to go camping

again.

But next time it'll be in Central Park.

Dixie Lewis.

There's nothing but the genes that they got.

Different strokes and takes.

Different strokes and takes.

Different strokes to do the work.

It doesn't take.

Different strokes.

in charge of raising money for the pediatrics wing. I need something

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How about a 1998 Lexus?

Oh, man, can you get one?

Hell no.

Isn't it funny, bro?

They're just going to leave you alone while you sit inside your home.

In my country, a racing car is considered to be just like a woman, bro.

how's that, Hector? Well, they both arouse a man's passion.

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I had to. A woman, she tried to worm me over with her car.

Yo, Ed, is this what you wanted to show me, man?

Yeah, this is her right here.

Rusty Schaefer's pro -stock Winston Cup car.

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I still can't get over that you know Rusty Schaefer. He's one of the greatest

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Know him?

Those are his feet right there.

Where?

Here come the rest of them.

Malcolm, Rusty Schaefer.

Rusty, Malcolm McGee.

Hi.

I'm Rusty, but you can call me Rusty.

It's a pleasure to meet you, Rusty. I watched that race in Daytona where you

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Yeah.

Grew back everywhere but right here.

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I'm doing a little high -speed driving myself, Rusty, and I got the traffic

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Oh, yeah, Mario Andretti over there got caught doing 38 in the school zone.

I hate school zones.

I'm turning Rusty's car for the Kansas City 500 on Sunday.

Sunday's a big race.

Big race.

If we win, my team will be national champions for the first time in my

If. I'm on the job now. We're gonna win.

Well, you two sound pretty confident.

Yeah, you know, his only competition is Trevor Davis, and his car ain't nothing

but a paint job.

Forest Green.

I was wrong. You two sound very confident.

Well, enough chin -wagging. I got to get back under the car.

Oh, I can imagine that fine -tuning a powerful piece of machinery like this is

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Eddie takes care of that. I just left my beer under there.

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