Original subtitles

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Very much, children. That was very good. Thank you for your portrayal of the

home life of the ancient Greeks.

I am so inspired by Greek culture now that tonight I'm going to go home and

watch a rerun of Kojak.

Okay, now, the last girl for today is going to be doing a skit that they wrote

dramatizing the highlights of Homer's epic poem, The Iliad, which was later

condensed in that Greek magazine, Reader's Digestive.

Okay, you ready, Arnold?

Yes, Mrs. James. Oh, come on up here. All right. Okay.

Class, this is about the war between the Greeks and the Trojans. The G's and the

T's to you. Okay? Now, the Trojans lived inside the city of Troy, and the Greeks

had been trying to get over this very high wall for nine long years.

And all they ever got for their troubles was a spear in the rear.

Then... All of a sudden, one day, a very smart Greek cookie by the name of

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The story begins.

Men, behind the wall!

Well, here we are in Troy, safe behind our walls, which are impenetrable.

That means you can't get in.

And here we are, just outside the city limits of Troy, frustrated and weary.

What are we going to do, Ulysses? The men are demoralized and dying of hunger.

Stop complaining. I could use a big mattress myself.

I've got to find a way to get into that city.

Winter is setting in, and my men are freezing their togas off.

Freeze, men.

How's the morale of the troops within it?

Rotten. What was that? Speak up.

I can't. I'm a horse. That's it. We'll build a wooden horse.

Say what?

We'll tell the Trojans that it's a present.

And they'll let us wheel it in through their gate into the city.

Little do they know that inside the horse will be our fierce and noble

Ulysses, that's just crazy enough to work.

Of course. Of course it is.

We'll conquer the city or we'll die trying.

Will you be with us?

Uh, I'd like to be, but... Unfortunately, I'm a general and you're

cannon fodder.

Why me?

Well, you've always been a little behind.

Good job at writing.

I guess when it comes to history, you've come a long way, baby.

Can't we finish, Miss Jenkins? I've got a hot horse here and

we're leaving him at the starting gate.

Yeah, we want to see how the war turns out. Right. Come on, please.

No, no, no. Hold it, history fans. Hold it, hold it. You have got to get to your

next class.

So we'll finish this up tomorrow, okay?

Okay.

Stop by your homeroom and pick up your report card.

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Well, to some of us dummies, a B is a big deal.

I think I'm getting one this term.

It's got to be something.

You've never gotten higher than a C in history.

Yeah, but I've never had Mrs. Jenkins before.

I get good vibes from her.

Me too.

She sure is pretty.

I don't mean like that, hot breath.

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Hi, gang. The breadwinner of the family's home.

The bread eaters are glad to see you.

Did you have a nice day at work, Dad?

Oh, terrific. Great day. Never felt better. Will you just excuse me for a

minute? I've got a phone call to make.

Hello, Dodd?

It's Phil.

Listen, I'm afraid I've come down with a flu bug.

I feel awful.

The doctor said I should stay home tomorrow, but that would mean I missed

board meeting, and I don't want to do that.

Fine. Could you carry on without me?

Well, I'll be with you in spirit.

Excuse me.

Thanks, Dodd.

Goodbye.

You look pretty good for a dying man.

Yeah, the undertaker won't even have to touch you.

Look, I really didn't want to miss that meeting. But tomorrow morning is the

only time that Eddie Grant has available for me to play tennis with him.

Well, that's long as it's for something important, Dad.

Hi, everybody.

Hi, Irma. How's it going today?

Oh, man, what a great day at school.

What happened? Did the Board of Health condemn the cafeteria?

Dad, feast your eyes on my report card and weep tears of joy.

Joy?

So far, I've only been weeping tears.

Arnold, these grades are wonderful.

I'm flabbergasted.

I figured it would get to your flabber.

He pulled up all of his grades and he got an A on history.

Hey, way to go.

You should be on That's Incredible.

I'm very pleased, son.

History's always been your worst subject.

Yeah, I remember when you thought Plymouth Rock was a musical group.

Well, anyway, that was before I met Mrs. Jenkins.

She's a really terrific teacher and a really nice lady.

In other words, just your basic goddess.

Ooh. Daddy, did you hear that? I think Arnold's got a crush on his teacher.

Not that at all.

Now, that is nothing to be ashamed of, Arnold.

It's perfectly natural to have a crush on your teacher.

I did when I was your age.

To this day, I still remember Mrs.

Norton. What'd she look like?

Oh, she was about 60.

Wrinkled, she wore thick glasses.

And her stringy gray hair looked kind of like a bird's nest.

How could you have a crush on someone who looked like that?

Well, I only had two teachers. It was either her or Mr. Rumpelmeyer.

Well, I don't have a crush on Mrs. Jenkins.

She's pretty, but our relationship is strictly professional.

Arnold, if you got an A in history, she's not only a good teacher, she is a

miracle worker.

Well, I gotta go hit the books.

Tomorrow we're gonna study some guy named Diogenes.

Diogenes. Oh, you'll enjoy that, Arnold.

He was the fellow that walked through the streets of Athens with a lantern

looking for an honest man.

And if I recall correctly, he never did find one. I'm not surprised. I read

somewhere that the average person tells 200 lies a day. How can you tell if

someone's lying to you?

Well, one way is by body language.

They avoid looking you straight in the eye. They get nervous, fidget from one

foot to the other.

Maybe they aren't lying. They just have to go to the bathroom.

I can't tell you how happy I am at all the progress you're making at school.

I'm very proud of you, son.

Thanks, Dad.

And I can tell you mean it because you didn't get nervous, you didn't fidget,

and your baby blues look right into my baby browns.

And today, 26 -mile races are run all over the world.

And what are they called?

Marathon. That's right.

Marathon.

I'd hoped to get to Diogenes today, but those pesky Persian wars lasted longer

than I thought.

See you tomorrow.

Oh, Mr. Duncan?

Can I see you for a minute, please?

Mr. Duncan?

Man, that Miss Jenkins is something else.

That's what my mom and dad said.

Your mom and dad?

I don't get it. Well, last night they went to this place called the Foxy Club.

Waitresses in the bar wear these real short outfits with little tails.

Mrs. Jenkins is one of them.

What you talking about, Robbie?

It's true.

That's what they said.

They thought it was terrible that a teacher was working in a place like

Mrs. Jenkins would never work in a place like that.

Her folks must need glasses.

They've got glasses and they were wearing them.

I don't think Mrs. Jenkins is that kind of woman.

She's not.

Well, if you're so sure, then why don't you ask her, Arnold? On second thought,

she'd probably just deny it.

I will ask her. And I'll prove to you that she's not lying because I know how

tell.

Since when did you become a human lie detector?

Since I learned about body language.

See, if she's lying, she'll start to fidget her feet, she'll get nervous, and

she won't be able to look us straight in the eye.

There she is. Go ahead, Arnold. Ask her.

Ask me what, Arnold?

Well, uh, Miss Jenkins, it seems that someone is spreading this ugly rumor

you work at this dumb place called the Foxy Club.

Uh, somebody said that?

Yeah, somebody who's kind of a jerk.

You wouldn't work in a place like that, would you?

Well, do you think I would, Arnold?

No way, no how, and no chance.

Well, then there's your answer.

Now, I have got some things to do, so I will see you all tomorrow.

Bye, Miss Jenkins.

Bye -bye.

Oh, there's your proof.

What proof?

Didn't you see how much trouble she had with the latch on her briefcase?

We're talking heavy fidgeting here.

That wasn't fidgeting.

That latch was just stuck.

Leave it up to Dudley.

Excuse me.

What do you think? Do you think she was fidgeting? Yeah.

Who asked you?

That doesn't mean she was lying.

Well, what about her eyes? She couldn't look us straight in the face.

Who'd want to look you straight in your face?

You're just making excuses for her. There's only one way to settle this. Go

to the foxy club and check it out in person.

Robbie.

That is a dumb idea.

But if it's the only way to clear Mrs.

Jenkins' name, I'll do it.

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Yo, Vicki.

My tank needs refilling.

Sorry, Mr.

Nivens. Pump just went dry.

Don't you think you ought to stop drinking and go home to your wife?

Why do you think I'm drinking?

Mr. Nivens, she's really a very wonderful and understanding lady.

How do you know?

Well, she puts up with you, doesn't she?

That must be the list of all the waitresses.

Maybe we don't even have to sneak in that room.

I don't want to see lists. I want to see legs.

There's only one thing to do.

Go into the fox's den and take a look. Now you're talking.

Dudley, get a hold of your hormones.

All right, let's get it over with.

I'll be right back.

Let's move it. Yes, ma 'am.

Mrs. Jenkins!

Arnold!

What are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

I can explain that.

I don't even want to hear it.

clinic couldn't cure.

I feel awful.

Me too.

Don't tell me you're catching a cold too.

I wish I was. Then I could take something to make me feel better.

What's the matter, son?

You're looking at one disillusioned dude.

Mrs. Jenkins lied to me.

She lied to you?

About what?

Well, Robbie says she works nights at this bar called the Foxy Club.

So we asked Mrs. Jenkins and she said no.

But she works there all right.

How do you know that?

We just came from there.

Are you saying that they let you into a bar?

What did you do, lie about your height?

We snuck in, Dad.

And we got thrown out, but not before seeing Mrs. Jenkins.

Well, I'm sure Mrs. Jenkins must have her reasons. You should try to be a

more forgiving.

Forgiving? I thought Mrs. Jenkins was the greatest person in the world, and

let me down.

I don't even want to speak to her again.

Now, now, now, I understand your feelings, son, but if I were you, I

her a chance to explain.

What's explain?

If she wasn't at bar with that skimpy outfit.

I saw parts of her I never thought teachers had.

I'll bet Mrs. Jenkins doesn't show up. She's probably too embarrassed.

I don't blame her.

I hope she never shows up. If I want to be taught by a fox, I'll go to the zoo.

Morning, class.

Morning, boys.

Class,

today we're going to talk about one of our most fascinating of the Greek

philosophers, Diogenes.

Now, Diogenes was a rather cynical fellow.

He wasn't really one of your fun Greeks, you know.

As a matter of fact...

He was often seen walking around the streets of Athens carrying a lantern in

broad daylight.

Does anyone care to guess why?

Because he was a little wacko?

No.

Diogenes was searching for an honest man.

As a matter of fact, he searched all of his life and he never found one.

That's because there's no such thing as a totally honest man.

Or a woman.

That's right. Or a woman.

Diogenes may have done better searching for a man or woman who was striving to

be honest because we all tell little lies from time to time and sometimes for

what we think are good reasons.

The important thing is to not judge people before we know all of the facts.

I hope you understand that.

That's it, class.

Hand in your quiz papers as you leave.

Arnold, can I speak with you for a moment, please?

Arnold, I owe you an apology.

Not because I work in a bar. I'm not ashamed of that. It's not exactly mud

wrestling.

I apologize for lying about it.

Well, why did you lie to me?

I told you what I thought you wanted to hear.

Well, how come you worked there anyway?

Well, because the pay is good.

I needed the money to raise my daughter, to pay the bills.

And it's tiring working two jobs.

But I'm just afraid teaching does not pay enough money to live on.

But you're the best teacher there is.

They should be paying you a million dollars.

Oh, no, that's much too much.

I'd settle for 500 ,000.

Oh, you're right, Arnold.

They should be paying teachers more. But until they do, I'm afraid a lot of

teachers are going to be leaving the profession.

And I'm one of them. What?

You're giving up teaching?

You're going to become a full -time fox?

No, I'm giving up both jobs.

But you can't give up teaching.

You're the best teacher I ever had.

I even like doing my homework.

My family thinks I'm having an early senile.

Arnold, I'm very flattered that you like my class.

But I have got to find one decent paying job so that I don't have to work night

and day anymore and I can spend more time with my daughter.

Ancient Greece just won't be the same without you.

Oh, thank you, Arnold.

You know, all my life I have wanted to be a teacher.

And I have hung in there as long as I can, but...

I'm afraid I just don't have a choice now.

I'm sure gonna miss you.

I'll miss you too, Arnold.

Can we still be friends?

Sure.

I'm glad.

I'll tell you a secret.

You're my favorite pupil in the class.

Thanks.

I'll tell you a secret too.

What's that?

Dudley was right.

You do have terrific legs.

Now the world don't

move to the beat of just one drum.

What might be right for you may not be right for some.

They got nothing but the cheese, but they got difference to make, difference

make.