Original subtitles

Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for

you may not be right for love.

One man gets born, he's a man of need.

Then along come two. They got nothing but the genes, but they got different

strokes to take. Different strokes to take. Different strokes to move the

Yes, it does. It takes different strokes to move the world.

Bravo, bravo.

Pearl, you're so graceful. Oh, I am not.

Do you really think so?

Absolutely. I can hear the applause now as you leap.

in Baryshnikov's arms. And I can hear the groans as they scrape him off the

stage.

Hi,

gang. Willis, what are you doing here?

I live here, remember?

I'm the guy who has to beat his way through your pantyhose every morning to

a shower.

I mean, I thought you were going to start working at Dad's office today.

I was, but I had something more important to do, like shopping.

Boy, Willis, when Daddy finds out, he's really going to be bent out of shape.

Well, I needed a jacket.

Well, where'd you get the money?

I didn't need any. I charged it to Dad.

Hey, bro, check this out. It's 100 % cashmere.

I think your brain's 100 % foam rubber.

Well, if you just bought a jacket a month ago... It's totally out of style.

Well, if you've got a very expensive habit... Oh, well, I'm supporting him.

working for Dad. I'll pay him back.

Oh, by the way, your father called. He was looking for you. Oh, he was? Well,

I'll see him tonight. Or tomorrow.

Whenever.

fellow siblings.

What are you so happy about, Arnold? Did your school burn down?

Better than that.

You're looking at the guy who figured out a way for his class to raise money

field trips.

You're looking at the financial wizard of the seventh grade.

What's your plan, Elliot Janeway?

Well, we're going to put on a carnival after school for a whole week. And we're

going to run it ourselves so it's practically all profit.

Hey, that's a great idea, Arnold. I guess when you talk, people listen.

That's right. The smart money is bullish on Arnold Jackson.

Oh, by the way, Willis, I may be able to throw some bucks your way, too. Oh,

yeah? How's that?

The playground director needs an assistant for the carnival. Oh, no way,

That's like being a babysitter. I got my sights set higher than that.

I'm going to be a junior executive for Dad.

Well, excuse me.

I think you hurt Arnold's feelings.

Now, why would I give up a cushy deal with Dad for some Mickey Mouse

job? Well, you could have said it with a little more tact and sensitivity, you

dumb bozo.

Hey, Dad.

Willis, where were you today?

Oh, after school, Dad, I went and bought this terrific jacket. Check it out. I

mean, why weren't you at the office?

I had it all arranged with everybody for you to start work there today.

Oh, well, I figured it'd be okay if I start tomorrow.

Oh, you figured that, did you?

Dad, what's the big deal?

I'm sure your company can't survive one more day without me.

The big deal is that you said you would be there.

You made a commitment.

Dad, don't worry.

You can count on me being in the office tomorrow. I'm pretty sure.

And I'm pretty sure that you won't be there.

Why not?

Because you just lost the job that you haven't started yet.

Wouldn't that buy me again?

You heard me.

Dad, aren't you blowing this way out of proportion?

No, Willis. It's time you realized that what you do has an effect on other

people. You can't live exclusively in your own little world.

Dad, I need a job.

I've already spent the money I'm going to earn on this jacket.

Oh, come on, Dad. Why don't you give me another chance?

Sure, I will.

As soon as I can see that you've changed.

Man, what am I going to do now?

I got it.

Hey, Arnold.

Hold it, Willis. I'm doing some figuring for the carnival.

Listen, Arnold.

Since you're my brother and I know it means a lot to you.

I've decided to take that playground job after all.

Well, Dad fired you, huh?

So now you come crawling back to me for that playground job.

Now, I wouldn't exactly call it crawling.

You're right.

It's more like groveling.

I like that.

You do it very well.

Well, call it whatever you want, I don't know. Well, listen, I need to make some

money. So I got the job, right?

Not so fast, Willis.

First, you have to fill out this application.

Now, Arnold, you've got to be kidding.

Have a seat, young man.

Make this fast. I don't have all day.

Your name?

Arnold. Not my name. Your name.

Willis. Willis what?

Willis Schwartz? Willis Kowalski?

Willis Jackson.

Age?

Seventeen.

Sex?

I'll just put not yet.

Any history of mental illness?

No. You could have fooled me.

You cut it with these wisecracks and let's get this over with. Okay, okay,

Are you familiar with the basic techniques of first aid?

Yes. Okay.

Do you know... how to treat sprains and bruises?

Uh, yeah, yeah.

Are you familiar with cardiopulmonary resuscitation?

You mean CPR?

Uh, sure, yeah, sure, yeah, I know that. You should.

You had enough practice giving your girlfriend mouth -to -mouth

Are you finished?

One more thing.

Do you have any personal references?

Yeah, you.

Excellent, excellent. Excellent.

Any friend of Arnold Jackson is a friend of mine.

So, do I get the job?

It's up to the playground director.

All I can do is give you a good recommendation.

However, that carries a lot of weight.

So there's a piano that I'm going to drop on your head if I don't get the

I'll tell him you're truly a wonderful human being.

for this job, Arnold.

Man, they had some fine fringe benefits I hadn't counted on.

Dudley, we've got to drum up some business.

We haven't had one customer, and I think I know why.

Why?

People feel sorry for you. They don't want to dunk you because you look so

pitiful.

That's because I am pitiful.

want you to do.

I want you to get people mad enough.

Rain is waterlogged.

How's it going, Arnold? You're raking in the big bucks?

We could do better.

Want to try your left hand? Oh, sure. How much?

Well, it's three balls for a dollar.

But since you're my dad, I'll give you a special. Three balls for five dollars.

Never do business with a relative.

Anyway, it's a good cause. Here we go. All right. Let's see what we can do

guys. Yeah.

Hold your breath, Dudley.

Okay, here we go. I was quite a pitcher when I was in college.

Matter of fact, they used to call me Cannonball.

You probably

do better with your eyes closed.

I never thought of that.

Well,

I guess we'll go along home now, son.

Good to see you, Dudley.

What's the matter, brother? This microphone isn't working.

It's not?

No. Let me see it.

Testing. Testing.

Testing.

Arnold,

with your big mouth, you don't need a mic.

Sure I do, Willis. I need it to drum up business around here.

All right, all right.

Listen, I'll take the loudspeaker. You take behind the amplifier for any loose

wires. Catch you later. Okay, Willis.

I'll just kick back here.

Ah, Willis, I found something loose. It's this wire right here. I'll just...

That's very funny, Arnold.

Arnold, will you quit clowning around and get up?

Arnold,

come on, Arnold, quit playing. Enough, enough.

Oh, no.

Hey, what's wrong, Willis?

He must have gotten a shock.

I don't feel his pulse.

He's not breathing.

Well, do something.

Give him some of that CPR stuff.

I don't know how.

Somebody help my brother.

Somebody come on, help Arnold. For the first time ever, T .I. speaks on The

Arrest, The Aftermath, Lessons Learned, and His Future.

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How do you feel now, Arnold?

Kind of weird.

Well, you're going to be just fine.

You're as good as new.

In fact, you're better than new. You've had your batteries recharged.

I'll be going now, Bill. Well, thanks very much for coming, Dr. Coulter. I'll

see you down.

Bye. Thank you. Thank you, Doctor.

Bye -bye.

Well, we'll let you rest now, honey. Good night, Arnold. Sleep well. I love

I'm sure glad I've still got you for a roommate, Arnold.

Yeah, me too.

This small fry was almost a French fry.

Thanks for saving my life, Willis.

You're the greatest.

Well, see you, Arnold.

Willis, I'm so lucky you got that playground job instead of some dummy.

Lucky. Good morning, Willis. Good morning, Dad.

Dad, listen, there's something I have to tell you. That you did not save your

brother's life.

How did you know?

Well, Dudley called to ask about Arnold, and he told me what happened.

Willis, I am astonished that you could lie and say that you knew CPR when you

didn't. You knew some stranger saved your brother's life.

How could you go on letting us think that you were the hero?

I'm really very disappointed in you, Willis. Dad, I feel awful. You don't

to rub it in.

I'll rub it in all right.

Your behavior was totally irresponsible.

It was just lucky that fellow was there and knew what to do.

You darn near cost your brother his life.

I guess you don't tell anyone what really happened, huh?

No, I'm not.

You're not?

No, you are.

Don't touch me.

You might get a shock.

What are you doing down here? He said he wanted to rest on the sofa.

It's a weekend. We've got a bigger TV set down here.

Yeah, and if that doesn't work, you can use my binoculars.

All right, come on down here.

Okay. Here you go, Arnold. Relax on the couch.

You'll be fine.

Oh, oh.

I think you're going to win, honey.

Okay, there you go.

I'm not feeling well.

I think I need my electronic football game.

Maybe you need your helmet in case you fall off the couch.

I'll go get your game for you, Arnold.

Thanks, Willis.

You're the best brother a guy ever had.

Yeah.

Could you please move my pillow up a little?

Sure.

A little more.

Down a little.

A little to the right.

How would you like it up your nose?

It's just fine right where it is.

Good. I'm going to go get ready for school.

I sure wish I could. to go to school today?

We know, we know.

You're a gutsy little guy.

Hey, you think I like being stuck here watching TV and reading comic books all

day? The doctor said that it would be perfectly fine for you to go to school

today.

What you talking about, Dad?

That's what the doctor said.

You'll be just fine tomorrow.

Here you go, bro.

I better go and get ready to go to the office.

I'm sure you boys have a lot to talk about.

Man, Willis.

I'll never be able to thank you enough.

If it weren't for you, this morning I'd be having breakfast under those big

golden arches in the sky.

Well, there's something I have to tell you.

Okay. But I'm never forgetting this, Willis.

When I write my autobiography, You're getting a whole half a chapter.

I don't listen to me.

I didn't save your life.

You mean I'm dead?

If this is heaven, what are you doing here?

Come on, man, I'm serious.

Some stranger saved your life.

I couldn't help you because I don't know CPR.

I lied about it because I needed that job.

You lied?

Yeah, I feel awful about it.

I'm really sorry.

Sorry?

Sorry?

Is that all you can say?

I don't know how to do anything to make it up to you. Come on, please forgive

me.

No, no way, never.

Forget it. You're selfish, rotten, and dishonest, and I don't even want you for

my brother anymore.

Get out of here, Willis.

Arnold, please.

I said get out of here.

Arnold, I think maybe you were a little too rough on your brother just now.

After what he did, I let him off easy.

There's no excuse for what he did, but he knows it's wrong.

I know he's suffering. He apologized.

What more could you expect him to do?

I could think of a lot of things he can do.

And they're all very painful.

Well, I'm very sorry to have called you at this hour of the night, but I just

thought perhaps Willis might be there.

Yeah. Thanks very much.

I'll give him till 1 .30. If he's not here by then, I'll call the police.

If he comes in before then, he'll have to call an ambulance.

Calm down, Daddy. I'm sure Willis has a good reason.

Dad! Arnold, you're supposed to be asleep.

I know, but when I got up to go to the bathroom, Willis wasn't in bed.

Did something happen to him?

No, no, no. He'll be along soon. Now, look, why don't you just go back to bed?

You don't think he did something awful to himself because I said all those bad

things to him, do you? Oh, no, honey, I'm sure he didn't.

Maybe he jumped off the Empire State Building.

And now he's nothing but a big ugly splotch on 34th Street.

Willis! Hi.

Willis, I'm so glad you're okay. I didn't mean all those things I said

Where the hell have you been and why didn't you call?

Well, I went over to Arnold's school to apologize to the playground director for

lying to get the job.

He almost got fired on the count of me.

Then I went down to Red Cross to sign up for a class in CPR.

Well, you did the right thing, Willis. I think it would be a good idea if we all

took that CPR class along with you.

Yeah, you never know when you might need it, which we found out the hard way.

Well, where have you been since then?

I just couldn't face Arnold.

Wandering around thinking about what he said.

So then I went to a late movie and came home.

A movie?

You mean you never tried to kill yourself?

No. You didn't even maim yourself a little?

Well, that is not a nice thing to say.

I know, but it came from the heart.

Well, as long as I know you're all right, Willis, I'm going to go to bed.

night, Daddy. Yeah, I could use some sleep, too. Oh, Dad.

Yeah?

Something else I have to tell you.

I promise from now on I'm going to be much more responsible.

I'm sure you will. Good night, son. Good night.

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Meryl, do you really forgive me for what I did?

Of course, Wooler.

Everybody makes mistakes.

You just have to make them bigger than most people.

Thanks, Meryl.

I do forgive you, but only on one condition.

What's that?

I want you to do a little something for me.

Oh, you just name it and you got it. What do you want me to do?

Try your hardest. I know you can't do it.

Come on. Throw that ball.

Now,

come on.

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him the old picture.

Oh, look at that.

Now you missed by three feet.

Now, come on, Arnold. You got one ball left. Try with your eyes closed, Arnold.

It worked for me.

Come on, Arnold.

Go for it.

Well, you had your chance, bro. Looks like you blew it.

Yeah, I blew it. But I'll tell you one thing, Willis.

You kept your half of the bargain. You were a good sport.

That's right.

And I'll tell you something else, Willis.

I'm not a good sport.

You need to just wonder what might be right for you.

May not be right for some, but when it's born, he's a man of ease. And along

come two, they got nothing but the genes, and they got different strokes of

things, different strokes of things.

nice to you, ma 'am. I told you I'm going out to eat.

And the sooner the better.

Helena will be here any second.

Man, I can't believe you.

Ironing napkins.

Man, now I gotta refold it.

You gotta make it rough on the rest of us. What are you talking about?

I mean, between ironing napkins and cooking dinner, I mean, women are

spoiled. Oh, and there's nothing wrong with...

you're a woman.

Besides, I get it all back plus a little something something extra for my

trouble.

See, I don't even have to go through all that.

Takes the major business. He's coming to pick me up.

Taking me out.

Buying me dinner.

Cause she knows I'm the prize.

Hey, it's your world, bruh.

The sky's purple in it, but it's your world.

What's up, baby?

Oh, my God, Eddie, it's beautiful.

Huh? Fresh flowers and candles and... You even

ironed the knackers.

Well, uh, actually, you know, uh, it was... Take me.

got two bedrooms in here now.

Get rid of him and join me in your room.

We'll work up an appetite.

Uh, ma 'am.

Need a little favor?

What's that?

Well, you know, Samija's under the impression that I did all this for her.

Ooh.

She's gonna be upset when you tell her the truth.

that's the favor.

Oh, hell no, man. After all this work? Uh -uh. Look, look, now, here's $200.

Hey? Now, uh, take your girl down to Morton's Restaurant, 645 Reservation

Semedra Hill.

$200? Well, man, I earned the napkins and all.

Oh.

Now, that's extortion.

No, that's America, baby.

Daddy, I'm waiting.

I guess I better go finish that. No, no, take the whole water. Take the whole

water.

Hey, everything, everything.

Isn't it quite funny, bro?

They're just going to leave you alone while you sit inside your home.

wait to the cleaners. Anybody need anything?

Nope. See you. Later.

Wait, wait, wait, wait a minute. I need something.

Uh, what can I get you? Could you pick me up some Midol?

Oh, hell no.