Original subtitles

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The usual term paper for English. We're going to put on a play by William

Shakespeare. I'm sure you all know about him.

Isn't he the guy who writes funny English and everybody runs around in

long underwear?

I guess you could put it that way. We'll be doing a few romantic scenes that

we'll call great moments from Romeo and Juliet.

How many girls would like to audition for the part of Juliet?

Very good.

Now, how many boys would like to try out for Romeo?

You, Robbie?

Sure. I'm the natural choice, Miss Chung.

I've got charm, wit, personality, and I'm very well -spoken.

Yes, I can see that. Miss Chung, I'd like to audition for the part.

Oh, that's wonderful, Dudley.

Those of you who want to audition, please sign up here.

Well, I'll see you two Romeos later.

Don't rip your pants climbing up to the balcony.

Arnold, wouldn't you like to sign up, too?

No, thanks, Miss Chung. Me as a Romeo.

That's a laugh.

It sure is.

Yeah. It's terrible.

Not that funny.

Who'd believe you as Romeo? Juliet couldn't be that hard up.

That's a good one.

There's no way Miss Chen would pick you.

Romeo and Juliet is a love story, not a comedy.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. Pearl!

Just a minute. I think I'm getting to feel it in my bones.

Pearl, what are you doing?

I'm invited to this single dance tonight, so I wanted to learn the latest

step.

Well, Pearl, I never knew you were into dancing.

It's a way to blow off some steam.

You know, have a few laughs, meet a few single, unattached, desperately lonely

men.

Boy, that girl bugs me. What's going on?

She's the piss.

She's the worst.

She's driving me crazy.

Aha, Lisa.

What did she do this time, Arnold?

asked me if I wanted to play Romeo on our class play, and everybody

busted a gut laughing, especially Lisa.

Oh, what does she know?

Ah, maybe she's right. Even with a mustache, I'm no Tom Selleck.

Well, Arnold, the real Romeo wasn't any Tom Selleck either. He was just a

schoolboy, not much older than you are.

Really? You mean he was just an ordinary teenager with pimples and everything?

I think he went to Verona High.

See, the thing that made him so special was his great and poetic capacity for

love. You'll make a great Romeo.

You think so? Sure, I'll go for it. You'll be perfect, son. You're a warm,

loving person with charm and humor.

Oh, can't argue with logic like that.

Okay, I'll go out for Romeo. And when I get through, they'll call that play

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What's the name?

The wish we call a rose by any other name.

It smells sweet.

The Romeo Wood.

Was he not Romeo Pollock?

Thank you, Marsha. That was very nice.

I hope she gets the part.

I don't know why, but I've got a thing for redheads.

Perfect couple.

Right. Beauty and the Beast.

Girls, you all read very well, and we're going to find parts for everyone.

But unfortunately, there can only be one Juliet.

And since she gave the best reading, the part of Juliet will be played by Lisa

Hayes.

Congratulations, Lisa.

Why, thank you, Miss Chang. I'll do everything I can to live up to the trust

that you have bestowed upon me.

Thank you, girls, for trying out. We'll be reading for the part of Romeo next,

boys.

Well, looks like one of you guys is going to be lucky enough to play

real actress.

Lisa and Juliet.

I'd really throw myself at the end of the play.

Maybe we can find someone else to play Romeo.

Yeah, but where are we going to find someone who's dumb enough to play

Lisa? Hold everything!

Methinks I want to try out for Romeo, I presume.

Well, I'm glad you changed your mind, Arnold.

This is too good to be true.

Now let's make sure he gets the part.

I want to show you guys who's the real Romeo in this class.

If you're ready, Arnold, go ahead.

Okay.

Anytime you're ready, Arnold.

Right.

Ready? And waiting.

With love's light wings, did I over -perch these walls.

For stony limits cannot hold love out.

And what love can do that dares love attempt?

Therefore, thy kinsmen are no let to me.

Okay, Deadly, your turn.

With love like wings did I owe, er, perch, seas,

walls, for stony limits cannot hold love,

love out.

Have you heard enough, Miss Chung?

I think so, Deadly. Thank you.

Okay, Robbie, you're next.

You were great. Really rotten. Thanks.

Well,

it

was very close.

Since we can only have one Romeo, I'm going to pick Arnold.

Congratulations, Arnold. We'll have our first rehearsal tomorrow after school.

I'll be there.

Thou can depend upon it.

Goodbye.

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You'll never guess.

Oh, no.

If I'll never guess.

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Tis almost morning, and I would have thee gone, and yet no further than a

spur. Okay, and now you kiss her.

Was my lips?

That's usually the way it's done.

How about if I just throw her a kiss?

If Romeo would never throw Juliet a kiss, especially a Juliet as desirable

me. Go on, Arnold.

But, Miss Chung, I'm a minor.

Aren't there child -kissing laws or something?

Look, I'm not too thrilled about kissing you either, Twinkie Breath.

to suffer for my art.

Arnold, there's nothing personal in this. Now let's get on with the

Oh, all right.

Can I wear wax lips?

Sure I do. The first thing is to get a Juliet that doesn't look like Godzilla.

You should talk, Moonface. Moonface!

Please, please, please.

Okay, let's forget about this scene for now, okay?

Let's go on to another great moment in the love affair between Romeo and

dance my girlfriends and I have ever been to.

We danced the legs off the one poor guy that showed up.

Well, look who's here.

Romeo Jr.

Hey, man, how'd your first rehearsal go with Lisa?

Terrible. Not only do I have to kiss her, but she takes acting lessons.

She's gonna wipe up the stage with me. Now, don't be so sure, Arnold. Lisa's

the only one who takes acting lessons.

I take drama at school, and I can show you how to use the method acting

technique. Arnold, The only technique you need is to gaze deep into Juliet's

eyes and say, Hey, babe, get down off that balcony and let the good times

Now, Arnold, the most important thing about acting is to be able to project

yourself into another character. Method acting can help you do that.

Oh, really? How does it work?

Well, one way is to pretend you're something outrageous. Like the other day

class, we all pretended we were dogs.

Kimberly, we're doing Romeo and Juliet, not Lassie, come home.

I'll show you. Okay.

I guess I have nothing to lose but my dignity.

Okay, I'm a dog.

Arf, arf.

That's not going to cut it, Arnold. You really have to try to become a dog, like

this.

Hi,

kids.

A simple hello would have done it.

Maybe I can help. Here, fetch.

I think that's enough dog for the day.

I don't want to be the kind of Romeo that hangs around fire hydrants.

Tell me something.

What have dogs got to do with Romeo?

I was just showing Arnold some of the basics of method acting.

Method acting?

For Shakespeare?

Oh, honey, I don't think it would sound right if Romeo said, Hey, you, Juliet.

What's a light to break into the underwinter there, huh?

obviously not ready for the method.

You know, now I'm confused.

Between Willis and Kimberly, I'll be playing Romeo as a jive -talking bastard

hound.

It's really not so difficult.

See, the trick to Shakespeare is understanding the poetry and the

Is this your script here?

Yeah. Well, maybe I can help you. I played Romeo in prep school.

Hey, hey.

You must have been real romantic.

Well, not really.

It was an all -boys school.

The lovely Juliet was played by Butch Malone.

You know, it's funny. After all these years, I still remember these lines.

on, I'll be Juliet.

Wait a minute. I never thought of Juliet with a receding hairline.

Come on.

Hey, we'll use this. This will be the balcony, okay?

All right.

Ready?

Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?

I taketh thee at thy word.

Call me but love.

Call me but love, and I'll be new baptized.

Henceforth, I never will be Romeo.

Yeah, Dad, that's what I was going to say.

Poor Arnold. I hope he doesn't get stage fright.

He doesn't have to. I've got enough for all of us.

There's nothing to worry about with all the coaching we gave him.

That's probably why he's worried.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Miss Chung, and I'd like to welcome you

to our sixth grade play.

Today, we are pleased to present our way -off Broadway production of Great

Moments from Romeo and Juliet.

passage of their death mark love is now the two -hour traffic of our stage but

don't worry ours only lasts half an hour

It's a good thing to think of a year that means not to be found.

Can I go forward when my heart is here?

But soft!

What's light through yonder window break?

Looks like Sarah Hartman is frozen up.

Juliet, or for her foul Juliet.

Weren't you?

And with a silk thread plucks her back again, so loving, jealous of his

I would I were thy bird.

Sweet, so would I.

Yet I shall kill thee with much cherishing.

Good night, good night.

Parting is that sweet sorrow that I shall say, good night till it be morrow.

Let the dim night depart again.

I die.

of Juliet and her Romeo.

That was wonderful.

You really saved the day, Arnold.

Thanks, Miss Charlie.

Way to go, Arnold. I wasn't there, was I?

Arnold,

we're so proud of you. You were terrific.

Oh, Arnold, that was beautiful.

That death was really moving.

Yeah, you really died up there.

Chong says thank you for saving me up there, so thank you.

Oh, that's okay. It's nothing any other professional actor wouldn't have done.

Excuse me, kids. I'm Jerry Werther. You know, my son Kenny's in your class.

Oh, hello. Hi. I just wanted to tell you how wonderful you were tonight.

Thank you.

I'm a casting director, and I'd be very interested in using you in some

commercials. Oh, that would be great.

Oh, no. I meant the young lady.

Her? May I see you for a minute?

Well, Joe is a better actor than you are.

I can't believe it.

Methinks showbiz worketh in strange ways, Romeo.

Instead of saving Juliet's butt, I should have kicked it off the balcony.