Original subtitles

You mistook me for a statue.

Poor baby.

Freeze! It's probably Ron.

Hi, Ron.

Oh, just a minute.

Someone's snarling on the phone for you, Arnold.

Uh -oh.

There's only one person. That could be... the Gooch.

Is that bully still in school?

I thought he got expelled for nailing the principal's tires to the parking

Nah, he said it was an accident.

You better take it, Arnold. I think I hear him chewing at the phone.

You're right.

Okay.

Hey, Gooch, how you doing?

Yeah.

What?

Jelly Porker?

Yeah, right, Gooch. Who you gonna believe, me or 12 Witnesses?

Oh, come on, Gooch. Can we talk it over? Gooch.

What'd he say?

Something about sweeping up the playground with my lips.

Daddy's home.

Hi, Daddy. Hey, Dad.

How you doing, son?

Awful. Now, on top of everything, I got the Gooch. breathing down my neck with

his terrible tuna breath.

Well, maybe this will change things for you. What is it?

That's a gift from a Japanese business associate of mine. I happened to mention

to him that you were having a run of bad luck, and so he sent that for you.

A bug?

Oh, that's no ordinary bug, Arnold.

That is a Japanese cricket.

They're supposed to bring you good luck.

Hey, it's got a pretty big voice for a little bug.

Not his voice, will it? Makes that noise by rubbing its legs together. It's also

the way it attracts females.

I wonder if that would work for me.

Hi, Mr. Drummond. Hi, Pearl.

Arnold, you've been into the guacamole again.

How did you know?

I found your lost baseball card in it.

Thank you, Jackson. I thought he was gone forever.

Well, luckily I found him in time. He was sinking fast.

Hey, Arnold, look at that. Looks like your lucky trick is working already.

Yeah. Maybe it'll help me get the gooch off my back.

Oh, thanks, Dad.

And thank your friend. Okay.

Maybe I'll call him Lucky.

Unless it's a female.

I guess it doesn't matter because I don't know how to tell the difference

anyway.

I think that's the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Well, I hope it works.

Mr. Drummond, do you really believe in a lucky cricket?

I mean, if it's true, you could use it to get money, friends, a husband.

Would you happen to have another one?

Oh, I don't really believe the cricket will bring him luck, Pearl. But if

believes that it will, that could give him a more positive attitude. That could

help anybody's luck.

That's right.

I have a positive attitude about girls.

Need I say more?

I don't care where you started up at, because I'm going to finish it wherever.

She picked the wrong time to mess with Drew. That dude was walking around the

house like he was straight up crazy.

He's getting violent.

Don't trust him at this point.

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can be Jerry on 11 minutes sleep.

That cricket sounded like it was in bed with me.

That darn thing kept me up half the night.

Kept me up the other half.

Didn't you hear it, Pearl?

No. From where my room is, all I can hear is the 5 a .m. milk truck crashing

into the garbage truck.

Hi, everybody.

My, such a lovely morning. Makes you feel happy just to be alive.

If I was awake, I'd kill him.

Arnold, how can you be so cheery? Didn't the cricket keep you awake?

Heck no!

Lucky's little chirp made me sleep like a baby.

And he's really bringing me good luck. I haven't tripped over anything,

nothing's fallen on me, and for the first time in my life, I've gotten to

bathroom before Kimberly.

I'm very happy for you.

Yeah. With Lucky in my corner, I'm not even worried about that big history test

tomorrow. I don't even have to study.

Arnold, don't put too much faith in Lucky.

He's a Japanese cricket. He probably doesn't know very much about American

history.

Well, I trust Lucky. He may even figure out a way to keep the gooch off my back.

Well, I better go get him something to eat.

Oh, could you guys keep it down a little bit? Lucky sleeps during the day, you

know.

the lucky cricket. Young lady, that's exactly what I thought before I

experienced the benefits of this amazing insect.

The things that have happened to me, you will not believe.

You're right.

Well, you don't have to.

Cast your eyes on the young man to my left.

Why, just yesterday, this young boy was hoping

Tell the people, Dudley.

Well, after I rubbed the cricket, I asked Laura Gibbons to go to the movies

me.

She said maybe.

For Dudley, that's a miracle.

Stop right up. Rub my cricket and change your luck.

Thank you. Give me the money and run. Thank you. Thank you. Don't crowd. Don't

crowd. Rub and be gone with you. Thank you.

You're so uncouth.

I got as much coots as you do.

So, how much did we make? Well, let's see.

I made a dollar and you made 25 cents.

How come I only get a quarter?

I guess you're not as lucky as I am.

Anyway, I had a talk with the cooch this morning. Man to beast.

He didn't rip your tongue out of your head?

make me swallow a catcher's mitt.

What stopped him?

Lucky here gave me a great idea.

I told the Gooch if he didn't beat me up, I'd let him keep Lucky on his desk

the history test tomorrow.

I can't believe it worked.

Well, it did.

See, if the Gooch fails that test, he'll get held back again. And he already

holds the Guinness Book of World Records for most years in sixth grade.

Yeah, he'll be the only kid who went right from grammar school to social

security.

Hey, I got an idea.

Don't fish like crickets?

Abraham, how would you like a nice little cricket sandwich?

Yes.

Wait, I got another idea.

We don't want to hurt him. Let's take him downstairs.

I think he's cute.

Oh, yes. Ann, I can dare sleep through this racket.

Oh, no.

It followed me down here.

Dad.

Oh, oh, it's you.

That thing is really getting to me.

It's really getting to us, too, Daddy.

I just had the most awful dream.

I dreamed I was in my office, the phone rang, I picked it up, and someone was

chirping.

I switched on the radio, and someone was chirping.

Everywhere I turned, someone was chirping.

And then my secretary walked in.

Don't tell me she was chirping.

No, she said there were three crickets waiting to see me.

voices out here.

Sorry, Pearl. We didn't mean to wake you up. Oh, that's okay.

Is something the matter?

That cricket is driving us nuts.

Oh, you mean the cricket's bugging you?

We'll leave the cricket down here.

Oh, Arnold wouldn't like that. He doesn't like to be separated from that

cricket. Then why don't we shift him both back to Japan?

Oh, I think Arnold will survive one night without his cricket. Come on,

back to bed.

I can't sleep now. I'm wide awake.

Oh, maybe I'll make some hot milk. That might help.

Good idea. We'll drop the cricket into it.

Daddy, that's not nice. How can you even think of drowning a living creature

just to keep it quiet?

You're right. We'll tie his legs together.

I'm with you, Dad. How can we get rid of this thing?

Why are men so insensitive? Well, give me that. You're just going to hurt him.

Oh. Oh, no. Oh, no.

He got away.

Nobody move. We don't want to step on him.

Speak for yourself.

What's the matter?

There it is.

It? Since when am I an it?

No, no, not you, Pearl. The cricket got loose. It's right down by your feet.

Pearl, it's only a little cricket, but I'm a very big coward.

Hey, there, he's over there.

I don't see it. Where'd it go?

No, tell her about the television.

There, Daddy, I still don't see it. Where'd it go?

Oh, it's by the patio door. That thing is here.

Right here. No, wait, it's closed. Wait, wait, I lost it, I don't know. Hey, it

must have crawled outside.

I'll go look for it in my bedroom.

He's out here somewhere.

Stop.

I think it must have jumped.

Well, it's only 30 stories.

Oh, the poor thing.

You drove it to a horrible death will as it committed suicide.

No, honey, it didn't. It committed pesticide.

But it resisted.

This is no joke.

How are we going to tell him that his good luck splattered all over Park

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Arnold.

When he finds out about his cricket, he's going to be devastated.

Well, we don't have to tell him until the morning. At least he'll get a good

night's sleep, which is something I would love to have.

Where's my cricket?

Uh -oh.

Arnold, what are you doing up?

I couldn't sleep without Lucky's chirping.

Where is he?

What are you guys doing up?

Arnold, come here, please.

There's something that I have to tell you.

Have a seat.

You see, son, there's been a little accident.

An accident?

Yes. I'm afraid it's your cricket.

Something's happened to Lucky?

Arnold, he jumped off the balcony.

Who's he talking about, Dad?

I'm sorry, son. It was just one of those things. The cage dropped.

He got loose.

Oh, no.

Who dropped it? He did.

Look, son, I know you think that that cricket brought you good luck, but it

really didn't, you know.

You made your own good luck, and I'm sure if you think about it very

you'll agree with me that that is true.

No, it's not. No way. Not in a million years.

I don't think he's buying it.

Look, son, I'm sure my friend can get you another cricket, maybe even a

one.

But I need it fast.

I promised that Gucci could have it on his desk for the big history test

tomorrow. If it's not there...

That cricket won't be the only one who's squashed.

Well, I thought I could find another cricket on the way to school, but I

What am I going to do?

Maybe there's something else you can give the Gooch to make him feel lucky.

Like a rabbit's foot or a four -leaf clover. Or a horseshoe. That's even

I can hit him with that.

I got an idea.

Why don't you show the Gooch the empty cage and tell him it's a magic cricket

and it turned himself invisible?

Nobody's dumb enough to fall for that.

Robbie, we're talking about the gooch.

It just might work.

No way. Uh -uh. I'm not going to gamble my face on his stupidity.

Well, maybe we can find another cricket here in the schoolyard.

It's worth a try.

Hey, Robbie, you're always in there thinking.

Yeah, my looks are very deceiving.

Well, what are we standing around yakking for? Let's find another cricket.

Hey, here's something. What, what? How about this?

Oh, no.

Tell me that's a cockroach.

Cricket, cockroach, the coochie never know the difference.

Yeah, I'm a desperate man.

I have no choice.

But your cricket was green.

This is brown.

Well, I'll tell the coochie just flew in from Palm Springs and got a tan.

If this doesn't work, the Gooch is going to kill you.

Yeah, and then he'll probably stomp on your penmanship hand.

Pearl.

Pearl. I'm trying to concentrate. Do you have to do that right now?

Yes, I do.

Why?

Why?

Why?

Because it's in my blood.

It's my destiny.

I was put on this earth to vacuum and vacuum. I must.

Sorry I asked.

Is Arnold home yet?

Nope. Have you heard anything?

Nope. How can you sit there and be so calm when your little brother just might

be getting his face smashed?

He won't.

Why are you so sure?

Because Dad went to pick him up right from school.

Why couldn't you just tell me that instead of making me sweat it out?

Sweating's good for you. Clears the pores.

Pearl, you've got my permission to vacuum his face.

Here we are.

What happened with the gooch?

The cricket paper has a happy ending.

Yep. I put a cockroach in the cage and the gooch didn't know the difference. He

actually passed the test.

in the sixth grade and you'll be the dumbest kid in the seventh grade.

What's that chirping?

Cockroaches don't chirp. Uh -oh.

It's got to be my cricket, Lucky.

He's not dead after all.

Where's it coming from?

It's over this way.

Hey, it's in the vacuum cleaner. Oh, no.

Pearl must have vacuumed him up. How could it still be alive?

Don't forget his name is Lucky.

Let's get him up. Hold it, Mr.

Drummond.

Okay, let him out.

Ready, Arnold?

Yeah, I'm ready.

Get ready down here.

You better rename him Dusty.

Well, his face may be full of dust, but his charm is okay.

Boy, are we lucky.

Man, I really missed you.

Hey, Dad, maybe that's why we had such good luck today.

My cricket's still alive.

Arnold, you should know by now that the cracker can't bring you good luck.

That's superstition.

No, it's not. It's our lucky. Everything's going my way.

I get it.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Gooch.

Yeah.

Uh, what?

Run up on me again?

Okay, Gooch.

Nothing I'd like better.

Well, what happened?

That was a goof.

He likes me so much now, he made me promise to take his sister Thelma out on

date.

Is that bad?

You don't know Thelma. How would you like to be seen in public with a girl

shaped like a hairy avocado?

Nothing but the genes that they got.

Different scrolls to take.

Different scrolls to take.

Different scrolls to do the work if it doesn't take.

Different scrolls to do the work.

That's

everything

going on back there. It's a little crazy, Ed. Sure could use a break.

I'm going to give you one as soon as we close up.

Oh, gosh, I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry you didn't bump into me earlier.

Hi, I'm Mia.

Eddie Sherman, welcome to my club.

I'm one of Kansas City's emerging black businessmen of tomorrow.

What do you mean? Didn't I see you on the cover of Black Enterprise?

Ah, that would have been the cinephile, Mr. August.

thing I posed with was my briefcase.

You know, I am really impressed with your club.

Why don't you show me around?

I'd like to show you whatever you want to see.

Let's start with the kitchen.

Kitchen? Kitchen.

Hey, Ed, we need to tap another cat.

I met your old dog. He ain't busy.

Dog, tap another cat, will ya?

I'd like you to meet my partner. Malcolm McGee, one of KC's emerging black

business... No, no, it's play. You got that already?

Well,

I can see you two are a good team.

Yeah, we like Batman and Robin.

I'm Batman.

You've got a great crowd tonight, but aren't you a little worried about

competition?

No, no, see, the 50 -50 club has no competition.

If you are hip, upscale, and under 40, this is the place to be.

But I heard there's a new club opening up just down the street.

I think it's called Club Misdemeanor.

Yeah, I bet you that'd be closed before the paint dries on the sign.

Yeah, my man's right.

You see, the 50 -50 club is not just a bar.

It's an institution.

I see.

You know, I own my own business, too.

Here's my card.

Oh, looky here, ma 'am.

She's a professional one. All right, all right.

Business card and everything.

Mia Lane.

Owner of Club Misdemeanor. Oh, my God.

That's a little infiltrator.

Oh, okay. So you slid in to check out the competition.

Yes. And quite frankly, I don't see any.

Nice meeting you.

Did she just... I think she did. Oh, obviously. She doesn't know who she's

dealing with.

50 -50 Club will crush her tired little saloon. Yes, you better recognize...

She's dealing with two of KC's emerging black businessmen of tomorrow. Watch

out. That's what I'm saying.

Isn't it quite funny, Barney?

They're just going to leave you alone while you're sitting inside your home.

No, I'm still nursing this one.

Well, how about something to eat? We got a lot of delicious bar snacks and

stuff. I'm fine.

Don't you have anyone else to wait on?

No, and I'm bored.

How was your day?

See anyone?

Nope.

Oh, Mal, let's face it, man. Club misdemeanor is killing.

No, no, Ed, we're just in a slum, all right? Don't worry about it. Now,

somebody's got to worry, man. The club is damn near empty, and Club Misdemeanor

got them lined up around a block.

That's only because they're running that cheesy promotion.

Cheesy promotion?

Man, they're giving away a top -of -the -line Sony stereo system every week.

Ed, do me a favor. Relax, okay? I think you are underestimating the loyalty

people have for this club.

Too many issues.

Guys, can I clock out? Look, the only order I've had in the last half hour is

leave me alone.

Hey, she just wants to get off early so she can run down to Club Misdemeanor

and, you know, shake her groove thing.

Like she did last week.

I am deeply offended by your accusation.

Look, I will not even dignify them with a response except to say that I am

utterly devoted to the 50 -50 club.

Thank you, Nicolette.

Guys, I think you owe Nicolette an apology.

Sorry.

Ten minutes. Oh, they have got some fine brothers on over there. Come on, let's

go.

Jackie, I am not interested in going to club misdemeanor.

I mean, it is wall -to -wall people, the music is too loud, and those men are

far too aggressive for my delicate sensibilities.

You know, so I've heard.

I can't believe even Nicolette's disloyal. That's what I'm talking about,

Guess it'd be a problem if I went over there with him.

Just asking.

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