Original subtitles

Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for

you may not be right for some. One man is born, he's a man of means.

They're no long come to, they got nothing but the genes. But they got

strokes to take, different strokes to take, different strokes to move the

Everybody's got a special kind of story.

And he finds a way to shine.

It don't matter that you got not a lot. So what? I'll have theirs and you'll

have yours and I'll have mine.

And together we'll be fine. It takes a different stroke to move the world. It

doesn't take a different stroke to move the world.

All right, now, backpacks. Check.

Fly slides.

Check. Pop tent.

Check. Sleeping bags.

Check. Hair dryer.

Check.

Hair dryer?

Kimberly, we are going on a camping trip.

It's not mine, Daddy. It's Willis'. You never know. I might run into some cute

little campers.

You'd better just hope that one of them has a very long extension cord.

Here's the first aid kit, Mr. Drummond.

Oh, thank you, Pearl. I hope none of us have any need for that.

I'm really looking forward to this. I love the great outdoors.

In fact, my Girl Scout troop voted me Miss Tough Cookie.

Look who's here.

Grizzly Arnold.

Get ready for a surprise, everybody.

and bought everybody a little present for the trip.

That's very nice, Arnold.

What is it? I'll show you. Okay.

And while you were at that store, you should have bought a surplus brain.

Maybe I can fill it with water and make it a hot tub for chipmunks.

I'll get it.

Good evening, Mr. Drummond.

Oh, Miss Saunders. What a surprise.

Oh, come in.

Thanks.

Is something wrong?

No, your tax audit was moved up, and I need you to sign some papers before

Monday. You were right on my way home.

Tell me something.

How much does a lawyer charge for a house call?

Not as much as a plumber.

I want you to meet my family. I hope I'm not disturbing you. No, no, no, not at

all. I don't want to have the IRS after me.

But the Irish terrorists have to do with it.

Oh, no, the Irish terrorists is the IRA.

The IRS is the American terrorists.

This is my daughter, Kimberly.

Hi. These are my sons, Willis and Arnold. Hello. This is Robin Saunders,

my tax attorneys.

I'm so glad to meet you kids. Your father talks about you all the time.

Yeah, we're his favorite deductions.

Could I get you a cup of coffee or a drink? No, thanks. I really have to run,

but I have X's where I need your signature.

Okay, I'll do it.

Wow, lawyers sure are getting prettier.

Yeah.

Go down, Willis. Your hot breath is singeing my hat.

There you are.

Thanks. I'll go with you to the elevator. I have a couple of questions I

like to ask you about that audit.

Bye. Nice to meet you. I hope I see you again.

Bye. Nice to meet you.

I'll be back in a minute, kids. Okay, bye.

Not only cheaper than my plumber, you're a better kisser.

That's funny. My plumber's a terrific kisser.

You said you were going to call me this afternoon.

I'm sorry.

I was out buying sporting equipment.

By the way, what was that I just signed in there?

Am I really in for a tax audit?

Yes. Oh, no.

Well, couldn't that bad news have waited till Monday?

Yes. But I couldn't, Phil.

When are we going to have some real time together? Soon, soon, very soon, I

promise.

Well, you say that all the time, but then you get free time and you spend it

with your kids.

Well, I know, but they like to have me around.

So do I.

And by the way, why am I still being kept under wraps?

It's nice to be in the closet with you, but eventually we've got to come out.

Well, frankly, I don't know why I haven't told the kids about you.

I think Willis and Kimberly would understand, but it's kind of hard to

things like that to Arnold.

I just wish we could have some time together, real time. You know, just you

me for more than an evening.

Oh, so do I. I would love that.

How about this weekend?

Gee, I can't. I'm going on a camping trip with the kids. Oh, Phil, I know you

want to be a good father, but parents have rights too, and you're also a man.

Gee, I'm glad you noticed that.

How about getting together next weekend?

Oh, yeah, fine.

Let's do it.

Oh, no, I promised to take the kids to a hockey game.

Sure, great. You go to a hockey game and you keep me on ice.

Phil, I'm really tired of playing games.

All right.

You got it.

We're going to spend this weekend together.

Do you really mean it? I really do. Oh, wonderful.

Oh, how about the camping trip? What are you going to tell the kids about that?

Well, I guess I'll just go back in there and lie about the audit and tell them

I'm in big trouble with the government.

You won't be lying.

You've got everything right, gang.

I'm sorry I can't go with you, but this audit is very important, you know.

Anyway, you're in good hands with Pearl.

That's right.

You're looking at the queen of the wilderness.

I can pitch a tent, start a fire with sticks, and there's not a squirrel

I can't wrestle to the ground.

Alex, promise me you'll be careful.

At night, zip those sleeping bags right up to the top.

Use your insect repellent.

Look out for poison ivy and skunks.

Don't worry, Dad. If I run into a skunk, he'll see my behind before I see yours.

That's it, gang. Company, move out.

Bye -bye, Daddy. Have a nice weekend.

Listen, have a wonderful time.

Oh, you will. There's nothing like getting back to nature and roughing it.

Let's go. The chauffeur's waiting.

I'll see you all Sunday night. Bye.

Hello,

Robin?

I'm sorry to call you so early in the morning. Listen, I did it.

My family is gone.

We have the entire weekend to ourselves.

Just you and me.

Heaven.

It's Phil. Phil Drummond.

I had a wonderful time tonight.

So did I. It's very nice having you as a captive audience.

Oh, but you're the one that's a captive, my dear.

This is the part where I apply you with very expensive French champagne, which I

very cleverly...

Pre -chill for the occasion.

I think you taught Cary Grant everything he knows. Of course.

Who do you think was the technical advisor for all those love scenes?

Moi.

Why

don't we

have our bubbly out on the terrace?

Perfect. Right this way.

Phil, what a lovely terrace.

You like it? I'll have it sent over in the morning.

Isn't it a beautiful view?

Beautiful. The city's not bad, either.

Oh, Phil, this is heaven.

Robin, you are absolutely irresistible.

Wow.

What a kiss.

I know.

I felt the earth move.

I think we better move. It's starting to sprinkle. I know.

Let's go.

I'm glad it started to drizzle. It's a good excuse to snuggle. I don't need an

excuse.

Do you have a fireplace?

No, but we can set fire to the bureau.

Something you can sip from your slipper.

Don't mention this to the kids.

flash floods.

In a flash, you're up to your armpits in water.

It's even worse for me.

I end off while your armpits begin.

We didn't have my trusty inflatable raft. We might have all gone to a watery

grave.

Don't over -dramatize it, Arnold. We didn't need your raft.

We might have the dam had broken.

There's no dam.

There's no dam up there.

There will be when he gets to school. on Monday and tells the story.

Okay, kids, let's get out of these wet clothes and off to bed.

Good night, Pearl.

Good night.

See you in the morning, Pearl. You know, Daddy's really lucky he didn't go.

You think we should wake him up and tell him what happened? Oh, no, it's so

late. Let's just let him sleep. In the morning, we can surprise him.

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Is Arnold coming down?

In a minute. He's on the phone telling Dudley about the big flood.

How the dam broke and he used his raft to save us from the 100 -foot waves.

How about your father? He's sleeping kind of late this morning, isn't he?

He probably had a late meeting with his tax attorney.

No, he won't be sleeping for long.

Arnold said as soon as he gets off the phone, he's going to jump in Dad's bed

and surprise him.

I love New York in June. How about you?

What are you doing home?

Well, we got flooded out, so we came home last night.

Last night?

You were here last night?

Yeah, we got here about two in the morning.

I see.

Well, isn't that something?

That's right.

My dad's tax attorney.

That's right.

Is this part of his tax audit?

That's right.

Oh, you know something?

What? You look real different without your glasses.

Maybe I do.

I think I better go put a robe on.

Why? You look okay to me.

Well, thanks, but I feel a little chilly.

Oh, really?

I feel kind of warm.

Well, nice chatting with you. Same here.

Strange feeling. Something's going on here.

And then we packed up and got out of there.

Don't you want to sit down and have some breakfast, Mr. Drummond?

Nope. Not hungry.

Where's Arnold?

Well, didn't you see him?

He said he was going to your room to wake you up.

What?

Arnold! I was just coming to get you.

Arnold?

I would like to talk to you.

I'd like to talk to you, too.

Have you been in my room?

No.

I forgot something in there. I know.

It just went back in.

It was wearing a blue nightgown.

Oh, no.

Oh, yeah.

Arnold, I guess I have a little explaining to do.

It's kind of turning out that way.

Danny sure is acting strange, isn't he?

Yeah. Oh, I wonder what can a man run out of here like that.

I hope it's not what I think.

Hey, everybody.

Dad's got some big explaining to do.

Well, I don't know how big it is.

It's about five foot seven.

That's exactly what I think.

Well, as I was telling Arnold upstairs, I, uh...

See, guy, we have a little situation here.

What kind of situation, Daddy?

Yeah, well, Pearl, I'll have a cup of coffee.

I'm sure you can use some.

See, I thought that I had this place to myself for the weekend, so I invited

a guest.

Who?

It's not Tootsie.

As a matter of fact, you've met her. It's my tax lawyer, Robin Saunders.

Now, I know this is a little awkward for all of us, but I hope you'll

understand.

Oh, I understand.

I understand. God knows I understand.

Well, I'm not sure I understand.

For one thing, why did she stay here last night?

Oh, well...

It was awfully late, that's why.

And where did she get the nightgown?

Oh, she borrowed that nightgown from Pearl.

From me?

Yes, from you, Pearl.

I hope that's all right.

Oh, I didn't even know it was gone.

Dad, I may be young and naive, but I'm not stupid.

I wanted to just drop it. I'll explain it to you all later. No, no, no, Willis.

I think this should come from me.

This is a conversation that I have postponed for too long.

Willis and Kimberly, I need some help in the kitchen.

Later, Pearl. I want to see how Dad gets out of this.

Coming, I'm coming.

Now, Arnold, there are a number of things that I want to say to you, and

sure that you have some questions for me.

You go first. You've got seniority.

Okay.

You remember a little while back we had a discussion about the facts of life?

Yeah, I remember all of that.

All that giggling and embarrassment.

You were really shook up.

Well, I think we covered the birds and the bees pretty well.

But I'm afraid I may have neglected to tell you some things about men and

Oh, I've learned a lot about that stuff since then, Dad.

How much?

Enough to want to know what that lady's doing upstairs.

Well, what we're talking about here is dating and relationships between men and

women. You mean getting it on.

Yeah, I guess you could put it that way. In fact, you did put it that way.

Dad, I know what goes on with grown -ups, but that's other people.

I just never thought of you and anybody else that way, especially a tax

attorney.

Well, Arnold, Miss Saunders is a woman and I'm a man.

And sometimes grown -ups need to be alone with each other.

Oh, I see.

Is that why you canceled out going on our camping trip?

Yes, it is, Arnold, and I realize now I should have leveled with you.

I guess that means you'd rather be with her than us.

Oh, not at all. I love being with both of you, sometimes with her, sometimes

with you.

And when I'm with her, it doesn't mean that I love you any the less.

In fact, when my life is enriched by other people that I care about... then

happier and I love you all the more.

You understand?

I think so, Dad.

Good. I'm glad you do.

Dad? Yeah?

Do you feel enriched enough to marry Miss Saunders?

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Mayor.

Well, that's pretty enriched.

Arnold, we really don't know how this is going to turn out.

Well, you must love her, don't you?

Well, yes, I do.

But you see, son, there are different kinds of love.

Sometimes people have a deep affection and respect for each other, but that

doesn't necessarily mean that they'll marry. Sometimes they stay good friends.

On the other hand, if a relationship continues to grow and deepen, people do

indeed get married.

At this point, I really don't know where Miss Saunders and I are going.

Well, at least you're having a good time getting there.

I think that's fair to say.

Well, thanks for the talk, Dad.

We covered quite a bit of ground, didn't we? We certainly did.

Kimberly! Willis!

Come out.

I know as much as Dad does now.

Great, Arnold. If we have any questions, we'll come to you from now on.

Well, I'd better go and get Miss Saunders. She's probably hiding under

No, she's not.

Phil, I hope I haven't caused you any problem here.

Nice running into you again.

I saw her without her glasses on.

I'll be going. Phil, call me.

Oh, no, no. Wait a minute, Robin.

You don't have to go anywhere.

I've just had a long discussion with my family. Everything's out in the open.

Everybody understands.

Now, you and I started to spend this weekend together.

I think we should finish it together.

That's right.

We got rained out, not you.

The house is all yours.

Are you sure you don't mind?

We understand.

We're all adults here.

Phil, are we taking them up on it? You bet we are.

Okay, guys, let's get lost. Wait a minute.

and lost after breakfast?

I mean, these heavy emotional trips are hard to take on an empty stomach.

That's a great idea. Let's all have breakfast together.

Oh, I'd love that.

I'll tell Pearl.

Thanks, Kimberly. And I have got a terrific suggestion for this afternoon,

it's a treat that's on me.

First, a really good horror movie with lots of popcorn, then video games at the

arcade, and then dinner at the pizza parlor.

Hey, we'd love that.

Not you.

Us.

Thank you.

Signed for the new club.

Oh.

Yes, indeedy. The 50 -50 club, Chicago, is going to be the hottest.

You got to see this warehouse we found. It's huge.

Oh, it looks great.

But the color scheme doesn't really work for me.

Nigga, that is the same color scheme as this club.

And this has never worked for me either.

Well, I, for one, find the interior palette stimulating and yet relaxing.

I wouldn't change a thing, guys.

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These guys out.

Oh, you got a little... And we got a

meeting on Friday in Chicago with the contractor to get his bid.

Man, we need to take a three -day weekend, man. Live a little.

You know, get the presidential suite at the Ritz, fly first class.

Yeah, and we'll have a rickshaw pick us up at the airport with Halle Berry

pulling it.

You're mocking me, man. Yes, I am.

Man, we're on a tight budget. This has got to be a quick day trip.

Oh, come on, man.

Loosen up on the straps.

Open the wallet.

No problem. As long as you're okay with leaving them in charge.

It's just going to leave you alone while you sit inside your home.

Eddie Sherman. Nice to meet you. Troy Jensen.

Hey, man. Nice crib.

Thanks. I restored it myself.

Oh, you did a good job.

Good? The man is an artist.

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I said come here.

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Thanks, baby.

This is Vena, my wife and my publicist.

How you doing?

Baby, why are you wearing your uniform today?

You ain't supposed to go to work.

I know, honey, but the hospital called. They need every nurse in by four o

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You know that new Mexican restaurant, Tijuana Fresh?

Yeah. Well, lunch today was more Tijuana than fresh.

It's got everybody running for the border.

Baby, you can't go to work today.

This job is my chance to move into commercial contracting.

Somebody got to watch the kid.

Oh, you're right.

What was I thinking?

I'm just going to quit my job. We don't need two incomes.

Heck, the kids don't have to eat three meals a day.

That little one's getting kind of chubby.

So you're going in, huh? Uh -huh.

You'll be fine, honey.