Original subtitles

A neutral party just trying to help. Boy, Pearl's really steamed about that

I don't blame her. She said it was once in the White House.

Under whose ban?

Yeah, well, Cheryl, I understand your position. Nobody wants the short end of

the stick.

But listen, surely you will acknowledge that Ms. Gallagher has the right to be

reimbursed. You'll never get anywhere with that Mr. Nice Guy approach.

Well, listen, let's also agree that the bottom line is we all want to avoid

small claims court, if we can.

You won't get anywhere unless you stick it to him.

Would you take $300? It's a deal.

Looks like we've got a deal here.

Yeah, well, she'll get in touch with you.

All right. You have a nice day, too.

Bye.

Thanks,

Mr. Drummond. Oh, you're something else.

You know, when I get that $300, I'm going to get you a very nice present.

you don't have to do that, Pearl.

Okay.

That was terrific the way you handled that guy on the phone. Well, that was a

good warm -up for me for tomorrow from my trip to Buffalo.

Union negotiations can be very tough.

Dad, you're really a smooth -talking dude.

You're the Philip Habib of Park Avenue.

Philip Habib?

Isn't that the guy who owns the Armenian delicatessen?

No, Arnold. He's a negotiator who helped end the war in Lebanon.

Oh, that Philip Habib.

Boy, Dad, I wish I knew how to wheel and deal the way you do.

Well, you could, son. See, the important thing is to get both sides to agree on

something as soon as possible.

I sometimes argue with something as simple as the weather, like, uh, nice

isn't it? They agree.

Of course, that doesn't work in a typhoon.

I get it, Dad.

You just dazzle them with double talk.

Should be easy for you, Arnold.

If that's a compliment, thank you.

If that's an insult, go suck an egg.

Sorry, Mr. Drummond. I only had enough batter for three dollar -sized pancakes.

Looks like two dimes and a nickel to me.

But thank you.

Now on DVD.

Keeps it cold the way it is. New home.

New look. And a new start for Mom, Nessie, and the girl.

Loaded with bonus features and deleted themes.

Keeps it cold the way it is. The complete second season. In stores now.

If she can do it, you can do it. Pick up the phone and call right now and start

on the road to a rewarding career and a better life. So call 1 -800 -979 -1.

You're sitting on the couch, you're watching TV, and your life is passing

by. You keep procrastinating over and over. Well, maybe I'll go to school next

year or maybe next semester. No, do it right now. They'll work with you after

work or you can go before work. You can do whatever you need to do to graduate.

Go talk to somebody right now. They out to help you. You spend all day on the

phone anyhow.

Why don't you make a phone call that's going to help you in your future? All

got to do is pick up the phone and make the call.

Why are you making it complicated?

It's easy.

Bad boy is sick, man. You like this, right? This is bigger than my apartment.

So what about insurance, man?

I'm with you.

What are you, 19?

Get some grown man insurance.

It's time to step up. Your choice auto insurance, only from Allstate. More

protection, more rewards, starting day one.

Whether you have an accident or not. Stop! Yo!

See, that could raise your rates with me. You deserve more from your

That's Allstate, Dan. Are you in good hands?

Every woman has her beauty secret.

And mine is ballet.

Introducing new ballet concealers. The first and only bra with revolutionary

concealing petals for complete modesty.

Feel confident and look flawless in every moment.

Isn't she beautiful?

Live beautifully in ballet bras and panties.

You put your body through its paces. You try to make the right choices. You

fight the good fight every day.

You deserve a little help.

New Metabolife is a simple two -stage weight management program.

New formula with clinically tested ingredients that help curb hunger and

energy. Two stages to help you lose weight and manage your success.

Your life deserves a plan that works. Your life deserves Metabolife.

Do you know what today is?

Of course I do.

Did you get me a present?

No, I didn't. Flowers?

No. A card?

No. But I meant to.

You meant to.

I did. I really thought about it. If only it really was the thought that

I love you.

Fortunately, Walgreens has thousands of locations, many open 24 hours, with the

Hallmark cards and gift wrap you need for any occasion.

Hey, Kimberly, you got a sec? Sure, Marco, what's up?

Were you interested in some nice jewelry?

Yeah, what kind?

Well, take a look at this.

Wow, that looks like Sammy Davis Tudor's overnight bag.

Step right in and browse. I got the best deals in town.

Where'd you get all this stuff?

Well, my uncle's a wholesaler. He gives me a couple items to sell at student

discounts. You know, I pick up a couple bucks on the side.

That's great.

Ooh, these are beautiful.

And they're you, baby.

And just 20 bucks.

20? Well, I'm having a special locker -wide clearance sale.

You can have them for 10.

$10? That's a good buy, isn't it? Yeah, it's a steal.

Excuse me, Kimberly. Can I talk to you for a second?

In a minute, Willis. No, right now. Excuse us, Marco.

I'll see you later, okay?

Well, you better hurry.

Bargains like mine go real fast.

What is it, Willis?

Kimberly, are you crazy? You can't buy those earrings.

He's the local fence.

You mean they're hot?

Hot. He needs a fire primer to open his locker.

Thanks, Willis. You saved my ears from getting burned.

No sweat, Kimberly. See you later. Bye.

Hey, Larry,

what are you doing?

That's my locker. Give me the key.

As of now, this lock is mine.

Beat it, Billy.

Says you.

You give me the key and take your stuff out of there. Why don't we settle it

right now?

Come on, man.

Hey,

wait a minute. Can I talk to you guys for a second?

Who is this turkey? The name's Willis Jackson.

So what?

Well, I just couldn't help but overhear any little disagreement.

No disagreement.

It's my locker.

It's not your locker. It's my locker. It was an...

Extra locker in the first place. Now go find yourself another one.

Somebody's going to get an extra nose.

Go ahead. Hit him. Hey, wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. There must be a peaceful solution to this problem.

It just calls for a little give and take. Right.

You give me the key or I take you apart.

thing you need is for the principal to find out you're both fighting over a

locker. If that happens, nobody gets it. You both wind up with the short end of

the stick. Okay.

So what's your solution, Mary Poppins?

Well, um, look it.

First of all, the weather is much too nice to be inside arguing like this.

a nice day, isn't it?

What are you, the weatherman?

No, I'm just making an observation.

Hey, how about making a little sense, huh? Well, I'll tell you what. How about

taking turns using the locker? You know, one of you gets it every other week.

Now, how about that idea?

It think.

It does need a little work.

Why don't you, like, butt out? You're stopping a good fight here.

Guys,

listen.

I'm sure I can come up with a solution, but it's going to take time. I mean, I'm

no genius.

We already figured that out.

Why don't you give me the key back just until tomorrow, and I can come up with

something by then.

No way.

I already got my personal assets in this locker.

And he don't want us peeking at his coloring book.

I'll tell you what. Why don't we just declare this locker off limits until

tomorrow, and I'll hold the key. That way there won't be any problems.

Well, it's okay by me.

Oh. Okay, Mr. Albert Feinstein.

But you better come up with a good solution by tomorrow.

Or else.

Or else what?

Or else this.

Oh, that. Hey, guys.

How you doing?

Hey, you believe this scumbag?

He's even got the nerve to show up today.

Hey, what's going on?

I got a solution to your problem.

You're the one with the problem, buddy.

Jackson, you want to steal, that's your business.

But when you steal from us, that's our business.

Man, what are you guys talking about? Don't play dumb.

Empty locker.

You got the key, the only key.

Now, wait a minute. I haven't been near that locker since yesterday.

And this key hasn't left my sight. Sure, tell us all about it. Oh, yeah, I

believe you. You didn't do nothing.

You were asleep while the key fairy came into your house and stole the key from

under your pillow and broke into our lockers. Right, guys?

Look, Jackson.

I want my stuff.

And I want it now.

Wait a minute.

I told you, I don't know anything about it. Hey, Larry, I think the chump's

lying through his teeth.

No problem.

He ain't gonna have them for long.

Hi.

Can I go to class?

Take it easy. We'll get him later.

Okay, see you soon, Jackson.

Just remember, when I settle the score,

They settled.

Yeah.

I'll remember that.

Oh, okay.

I saw what went down, Willis.

You're in serious trouble, man. Yeah, but I didn't rip off anything.

Hey, I know that and you know that, but they think you did it.

The way I see it, you've just put yourself on the endangered species list.

Come on, Mark. I'm serious, man. Don't you know about Crazy Larry?

What about him? The guy's a looney toon, you know?

Mental problems.

He stayed back a whole year of school because, uh, you know?

Are you serious?

Last time somebody crossed him, you know what he did?

What? You don't want to know.

That bad, huh? The guy's an animal.

I heard he broke into one guy's place and got him right in his own bed.

Do you, um, think you'll come after me?

Well, if I were you, man, and I am glad I'm not, I'd get myself some protection.

Protection?

Like this.

Hey, that's a gun!

I know. It's a gun, dummy.

No way. I can never shoot anybody.

Yeah, maybe you won't have to, but why take a chance?

You gotta protect yourself.

I don't know, Marco.

Okay. It's your life.

My life?

What's left of it.

Wait a minute, Marco.

How much you want for the gun?

Seeing as you're a friend in need, I'll let you have it for 85 bucks.

85 bucks?

I don't have that kind of money. Well, how much you got?

20 bucks. Close enough.

I'll rent it to you until this thing blows over, because I'm worried about

You're doing the smart thing, Willis.

Hi,

welcome to Progressive .com.

Honey, what's all this?

Insurance.

Progressive motorcycle insurance. Yeah.

RV insurance.

Uh -huh.

Boat insurance.

But we don't have any of those things.

Well, actually, I do.

We do.

We do.

Surprise!

Let's bag these up.

Saving you money so you can buy more toys. Now that's progressive.

Call or click today. That check you get every month from a structured settlement

as a result of a lawsuit or from an annuity may not be enough to pay for all

bills that are piling up.

If you're having trouble making ends meet, it can feel like you're adrift in

sea of uncertainty. You might think you're sunk, but now there's help.

Each tree can turn your structured settlement or annuity into cash today.

you can use to pay off debt, avoid foreclosure, pay bills, get a new house,

buy a new car.

Money does grow on tree. Call Peachtree to turn your future payment into

immediate cash when you need it most, wherever you need help.

Peachtree is there for you. The money from your structured settlement or

is yours. You deserve to have it, and Peachtree can help you get it. To find

more, call Peachtree today at 1 -800 -581 -1091.

That's 1 -800 -581 -1091, or log on to settlementfunding .com.

Life doesn't wait. Why should you?

Thinking new year, new career?

UTI's the answer with focused technician training for the automotive,

motorcycle, marine, and diesel industries. It's the smart choice for a

career. There is such a huge demand for technicians.

It's crazy.

We're going to need technicians for a long time.

Get into a career with a future. Call us or visit UTI .edu.

More top manufacturers choose UTI. See what it can mean to you at UTI .edu.

Want to get on the fast track to a great career?

UTI's the answer. With accelerated technician training for the automotive,

motorcycle, marine, and diesel industries, you can start your new

about a year.

This is basically three years of college jam -packed until just over a year of

work. So you can immediately go out and work in the field and get there quickly.

It can happen, and it can happen fast.

Call us or visit UTI .edu.

UTI is industry's choice. See what it can mean to you at UTI .edu.

What's up, everyone? Pete here, and welcome to Blue Hippo, where anyone can

a brand -new, brand -name computer regardless of their credit. Take a look

this. You can send emails, download music and video, even organize your

finances. This is a fully loaded desktop computer.

Let's take a call.

Hello, caller?

Yeah, hi. I have really bad credit, and I've been turned down before. Can you

really help me get a computer?

Do you have an active checking account and a home phone number? Yes, I do.

that's all you need.

So whether you want a desktop or you prefer the convenience of a laptop, you

get either one regardless of your credit. And if you order now, we'll send

free color printer and a free flat -screen TV so you can watch your

shows and movies and print and email digital photos. So to be clear...

When you order today, you can get your choice of a brand -new desktop or laptop

with tons of great software, plus a free color printer and a free LCD TV.

And remember, there is no credit check, and your approval is guaranteed.

But you must call Blue Hippo now.

Ms. Donnelly, please don't call my foster mother. I'll tell you everything

know about this. I know about a murder.

The Wire, tonight at 9 .30, right here.

Today, parents have a lot of hard choices.

Pay the phone bill.

or pay the doctor, fill the fridge, or fill a prescription.

But there's a choice that can make life easier, calling 1 -877 -KIDS -NOW.

That's because every state now offers low -cost and free health coverage for

kids. Even working families can get the card for doctor visits, prescriptions,

and more.

So if your kids aren't insured, call 1 -877 -KIDS -NOW.

Write it down, because you've got enough to worry about.

How would you like to run a business of your own, from the comfort of your own

home? It's not as crazy as it sounds.

I made over $100 ,000 a year from my home.

We took in over $200 ,000 last year.

Yeah, you have to be crazy to visit this website and find out how to start your

home business. Crazy like a fox.

Log on and get your success kit. Last week, I made over $6 ,000.

Crazy? I don't think so. Log on now to get your success kit.

That's a real gun, Willis.

Be careful, it's loaded with real bullets.

Don't worry, you're looking at a real chicken.

Willis, you've got to be crazy.

If Dad knew you had a gun, he'd shoot you.

He's not going to know, but I've got to protect myself.

This maniac might try to break in here.

What are you talking about, Willis?

I'm talking about those guys at school, Arnold.

They really play hardball.

There's some negotiator, Willis. The only thing you got those guys to agree

was rub out Willis.

Listen, I heard about one guy they were after. Got him right in his own bed. You

know what they did to him? What?

You don't want to know.

Man, I better get out of here.

Think I'll sleep in the washing machine tonight.

Pearl, I just wanted to say goodnight.

Come in, Pearl.

Hi, I'm off to Mother's. I'll be back in the morning. Say hi to her for us.

On second thought, I'll go and say hi in person.

That's my kind of mother. Mother of Pearl.

But Arnold, she's way out in Hoboken. That's okay. I speak the language.

You'll stay right here, Arnold.

Have a nice evening with your mother, Pearl.

Oh, I always do.

We have a nice little dinner, and then we have a quiet chat over a cup of tea,

and then we go out and hit the singles bars.

Bye. Bye, Pearl. Bye. Bye.

Well, little brother, what do you say we watch some TV?

TV ought to watch us.

We're liable to have more shooting going on around here than they do.

Arnold, nobody's going to get hurt.

I mean, worse comes to worse.

We'll hold him off at the door until help comes.

Wait a minute. What's this wee stuff?

What was that?

I think that was Pearl leaving.

Arnold, will you knock it off? Man, you're starting to make me nervous.

I'm sorry, Willis. I'm just a mess.

Just one giant goose pimple.

Are you sure? What did it sound like?

It sounded like a guy about 6 '5", 210 pounds, bloodshot eyes, and big hairy

arms with a pair of knee hooks that can rip you in half.

Oh, Arnold, you're just imagining things. Go back to sleep.

How tall did you say he was?

Tell me you didn't hear that.

That I heard.

If you're here, man, tell us what we're going to do.

Now, Arnold, now, now, just stay calm now. It might be Kimberly downstairs

getting a snack. I'll go check her room.

She's in her room fast asleep.

Then there's very little chance she's downstairs.

and offer him a snack.

What?

Chainsaw killers are always a lot friendlier on a full stomach.

There's somebody down there, all right, but they're not going to get us without

a fight.

Wait a minute, Willis, wait a minute.

There's got to be a better idea.

You throw yourself on his mercy while I run.

He's going down there, Arnold. Then I'm going, too. No, you stay here.

No way, Jose.

We came in this house together and we're going to go out together.

I just hope we don't go out on a stretcher.

All right, come on.

He's in the den.

a trigger man who's coming to ventilate Willis.

What in the world are you talking about?

Somebody robbed one of the guys' lockers at school, and they think I did it, so

I had to protect myself.

Willis, a gun doesn't solve any problems. All it does is create more.

Look, I'm responsible for the protection of this whole family. Do I keep a gun

in the house?

No.

You're just lucky this thing turned out the way it did. Otherwise, you and

Arnold might be orphans again. This time, you'd have Kimberly along with

That was really stupid of me.

Yeah, that was really stupid of you.

Where on earth did you ever get a gun, Willis?

At school.

Oh, great. What do they do, issue them to you now when you get your gym suit?

I suppose you can get hand grenades out of the candy machine.

You and I are going to go down there tomorrow morning and talk to that

and find out whether he knows that his school is being used as a munitions

Hey, Jackson.

Bring back that stuff you lifted out of my locker?

Man, I told you I didn't take anything out of your locker.

Are those the boys, Willis?

Yeah, Dad.

And a big ape with Crazy Larry.

Be careful of him.

What's he gonna do, stab me with one of his sideburns?

I want to talk to you boys.

What do you mean by threatening Willis' life?

We didn't, but it's a good idea.

Who are you?

I'm his father, and I'm damn mad.

You're his father? And I'm damn mad.

Hey, man.

We don't kill anybody.

We just make them wish they were dead.

My son went out and got a gun to protect himself.

A gun?

Who are you kidding?

What do you call this?

Hey, that's my gun.

From my locker.

That proves you ripped me off, Jackson.

No way. I got that gun from Marco.

From Marco?

I want to talk to you.

Where's the rest of my stuff, Fink?

Okay, hold it, crazy.

I mean Larry.

There's got to be a better way to handle this.

Sure he got it.

Here's some more of my stuff.

We'll deal with Marco later, but what are you doing with a gun, man? You know

don't mess around with guns, Larry. Remember what happened to my brother?

Hey, I found it, okay?

So I figured I'd keep it, you know, just in case.

What are you, crazy?

Eh.

I am.

Hey, Jackson, look, this is all a little misunderstanding.

Oh, come on, Dad, give him a break, huh? I am.

I should be calling the police.

Police. Yeah.

Dad!

Dad! You're alive!

What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in school.

He was so worried about you, he came looking for you. I thought you'd be

in the bushes all riddled with bullets and splattered with blood.

Did they use brass knuckles or rubber hoses?

Arnold, I'm fine. You sound disappointed.

Well, as long as I've cut school, can we go to the zoo?

Just get my butt back to school. Bye.

McGee and Sherman?

Oh, well, that depends.

Are you the IRS?

Nope. Well, in that case, we're McGee and Sherman.

I'm Spencer.

Spencer Campbell.

Your club is beautiful, man.

Everyone in Kansas City is talking about this place.

Yeah, sometimes we so busy, we can't even get in.

That's what we're making it in.

Yeah, we do all right.

We do a little better than all right.

Well, that's good to know.

Because I'm here to talk business with you.

I'm in.

Oh,

well, sorry. The good hands people already have their hands all over us.

I'm talking about the kind of protection that's out of their hands.

Your insurance only covers you for fire, theft, and acts of God.

And what does your insurance cover? My employer, Mr. O, offers businesses in

this area extra security.

Like a neighborhood watch?

This is telling us something else.

I was afraid of that.

Call it a protection service.

For $1 ,000 a month, nothing unfortunate will happen to 50 -50 Club.

Look, man, we don't want no trouble. And there won't be any, provided you accept

our generous offer.

We'll be in touch.

Yeah, I'm thinking about touching you right now.

I owe you for the drink. No, we don't want your dirty money.

I'll wash it.

Isn't it funny, Bob?

They're just gonna leave you alone while you're sitting inside your home.

I'd like you to meet my employer, Mr.

O.

What's up, man?

I've been looking forward to meeting you, Mr. O.

Word on the street, 50 -50 club is banging.

Woo! You guys must be making a grip around here.

Well, we do all right.

We do better than I.

Mind if I sit down?

I want you two gentlemen, Jeremy, pull up a chair. Let's talk some business.

My feet hurt anyway.

Gentlemen, I think it's about time we talk about you guys' future and how much

brighter it would be once you're under the umbrella protection of Mr.

O. I don't need umbrellas. I got hats.

You got jokes too, fool, and I like that.

Don't you ever touch me.

Look, Mr.

O, about this insurance racket.

That's a harsh word.

Arrangement, baby.

Arrangement.

Arrangement. Well, after careful consideration and consultation with our

of directors and shareholders.

That's me and him.

Okay.

You've decided not to pursue an association with you and your

this time.

Wrong answer.

Spent.

Say hello to my newest account.

Mr. Rinaldi.

Hello, Malcolm.

Eddie. What's going on?

Go ahead, Nick. Tell him what happened last night.

My restaurant burned down.

Burned down?

The police suspected Austin.

Probably because of those Molotov cocktails they found.

And the spray paint in that red.

Pay up!

How bad was the fire, Nick?

I lost everything.

Damn shame.

See, that wouldn't happen if he was under my protection.

Don't trip, Nick. I'm going to help you rebuild, baby.

And since we're partners now, I'm going to make sure your enemies never bother

you.

That's what partners do.

They watch each other back.

Take care, Nick.

Real nice guy.

Not enough smoke detectives, but a real nice guy.

So what is it going to be?

It's not gonna happen.

We're not paying.

That's a damn shame, because I thought we was gonna be friends, baby.

I think y 'all making a terrible mistake.

Won't be the first time.

Might be the last.