Original subtitles

The case of the rat versus the ranger. As a rodent roams the offices and a new

partner causes an uproar with an ego that ranges from dude to colossal.

This is Blair Underwood inviting you to watch L .A. Law.

Next. And Sunday night, don't miss the premiere of Ann Jillian and catch a

preview of the new series, True Blue, a two -hour NBC world premiere movie

Sunday.

Yeah, thank you.

I'm really going to miss him.

Uncle Jack was like a second father to me, you know? I know. He talked about

all the time.

Emma's really lucky to have a nephew like you to lean on.

Well, I promised my uncle that I would take care of her, but, well, she's a

strong woman.

I'm sure it's just a matter of time before she's back to her old self again.

You know Emma.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, Aunt Emma.

I thought you were going to take a nap.

I tried to sleep, but it's too hard.

Yeah, I know, I know.

I keep thinking of Uncle Jack, too.

No, your mattress, it's like a rock.

Right, Aunt Emma.

You know, John, you were always Jack's favorite.

That's why he wanted you to have this.

Oh, wow.

His Marine Corps ring.

Oh, Aunt Emma, this really means a lot to me.

I remember the first day your uncle ever showed it to you.

How you begged him to let you try it on.

Yeah, I remember.

I was so little it wouldn't even stay on my thumb. I remember that.

You were so cute.

How could I get mad when it slipped off your finger and fell down the drain in

the bathroom sink?

Oh, yeah.

You remember how excited you were?

Watching the plumbers take apart our pipes.

Remember that?

Cost us about $70.

Which in those days was a whole week's salary to you, Uncle Jack.

It was a lot of money.

A lot of money.

You know, our water pressure was never the same after that.

Memories.

In the event that hell does freeze over, I can expect your call.

Hey, guys.

Hey,

Red.

I just landed two ringside tickets for WrestleMania.

What do you say? You want to go with me?

When hell freezes over.

Hot luck, Red. I'm already booked that night.

I want you to know how sorry we all were to hear of your uncle's passing. Oh,

yes. Thank you. Thank you, everyone. He was really a terrific guy.

Oh, look at this.

He even left me his Marine Corps ring.

I've got a drawer full of those.

So, John, how's your aunt taking it? Oh, she's going to be fine.

My Aunt Emma is one of a kind.

Thank God.

Good. Now, who'd like to begin?

No one?

Well, well, well.

Well, we got our 90 -day evaluations today, and guess who was ranked number

of all the toll collectors at the Lincoln Tunnel?

the upper 50%. Excuse me.

Johnny, there you are.

I've been looking all over for the one -to -one club. Would it kill you people

to put a sign on the door?

What are you doing here?

You suggested I join a support group, remember?

Yeah, I know. I mean, not necessarily this group.

Well, I figured why dump my problems on strangers when I could come here every

week and share them with you.

Every week?

John, don't you want to introduce us? Yeah, Aunt Emma.

This is Ralph.

This is Kate.

Mrs. Filbert. Tom.

This is Kurt.

And this is our leader, Louise.

Everybody!

Hi, Aunt Emma!

We were all very sorry to hear about your husband.

It must be very hard for you.

Yes. But I'm all right.

Except, of course, my heart.

However, my doctor says I'll be fine as long as I don't get overexcited.

Which shouldn't be a problem from the looks of things here.

It's none of my business, but a person with your condition should not wear a

dark jacket.

My condition?

What condition?

You don't have to tell the whole world you're losing your hair.

Losing my hair.

My husband, Jack, was about your age when he started going bald.

Me? Going bald?

I think you better try a little Windex on those specs.

Oh, another one.

We still got that mirror in the back.

Well, Emma, would you like to take a seat and we can get back to our meeting?

Thank you.

That's Louisa's chair.

Oh, I'm sorry. I just sat here because it's got a straight back.

I have this little problem with my pancreas.

But don't you worry. I shouldn't be in too much pain.

I'll just stand all night.

No, no, no, no.

Stay where you are, please. I'll just sit over here.

Thank you, dear.

Comfortable?

Well, why don't you continue with your accomplishments at work?

Well, as I said, you're looking at a happy man after three great months of

working as a toll collector at the Lincoln Tunnel. You're a toll collector?

Well, I'm no Tim Flynn.

But I am in the upper 50%. Well, good for you.

That's a good way to support yourself until you find a real job.

Aunt Emma, that is his real job.

Oh.

Tell me, what is it like standing hour after hour in that tiny little box?

No, Aunt Emma, it isn't that tiny.

Well, now that you mention it, it is pretty cramped in there.

And what about the fumes from all those cars? It must be unbearable.

They're bad.

fumes from all those buses and trucks.

And you must freeze to death in their uniforms.

They give them overcoats and gloves. Yeah, yeah, but you have to take off the

gloves to make change.

Except for that show -off Tim Flynn.

He can change a five -wearing mitten.

There are good points about job, like the pay.

Are you kidding? The pay stinks.

Take my eyes. Not my hair.

No, Louise.

Emma is absolutely right.

Pretty soon it'll be too late for me to have children.

I can already hear my biological clock running down.

Tick -tock, tick -tock. Kate, don't you worry.

I'm sure you'll find a good man.

God knows you and Louise could really use one.

How did I get into this?

I know.

You think you're happy being a single parent to little Nigel.

But don't you think... Well, what a full evening we've had. Why don't we call it

a night?

We've only been here a half hour. Yes.

My pleasure, Louise.

Meeting all you people has done me a world of good.

I mean, I thought I had problems.

See you all next week.

John. Hey, would we have to talk?

Well, can't wait till the meeting?

I'm afraid not. We have to talk before tonight.

Yeah, well, what... Hey, come on, what's up? Yeah, John.

Yeah, yeah, what's this all about?

It's about your Aunt Emma. In three short weeks, she's managed to throw our

group into total chaos.

She's got me so down on my job that I'm ashamed to wear my uniform in parties.

Oh, no.

Oh, it can't be that bad.

Oh, no.

thinking about is that I've got to be a mother.

Every week, I've got to be a mother.

She's got me so crazy. The other day, I actually went out and bought myself a

puppy. Then I got depressed because none of you threw me a shower.

I never lost a hair in my life until your aunt walked into the one -to -one

club. I am warning you, John.

If I lose my hair, it is going to be on that woman's head.

Tell her to find another group.

What? Tell her to leave the group? The woman has just lost her husband.

She's got a heart condition, and she's very lonely, and she's just going

a very hard time.

I would ask her to leave myself. I would ask her to leave the group, but I

can't. John. I really can't. John. John.

There is nothing to it.

You take her to a nice, quiet Italian restaurant, right? You buy her a bottle

Chianti. You feed her some linguine.

When she's feeling mellow and the mood is right, you lean over to her. You say,

Aunt Emma, if you come back to the group, they're going to kill you. No.

That's great. Just great.

Huh? That's how I'm supposed to repay my favorite uncle?

He's been gone three weeks, and you want me to destroy the woman he loves over a

plate of linguine?

Hi, Mario. I hear the clam sauce is excellent.

Oh, come on. Don't you understand?

I made a promise to my uncle on his deathbed that I would watch over my

That I would take care of her.

Oh, come on. Do you really want me to break that promise to my uncle?

All right, John. If it's that important to you, we'll try our best to put up

with her. Okay, great. Thank you.

Listen, I'll make a deal with you. If things don't change, I'll ask Aunt Emma

leave the group myself.

Even Uncle Jack would understand that.

I once made a deathbed promise to a man.

You did?

Yes, I promised I wouldn't tell his wife whose bed he died in.

I'm telling you guys, you won't regret giving my aunt another chance. Maybe

we'll get lucky tonight. She won't even show.

Nope, she showed.

Ah, there you are.

Who are all these people? Just some friends I made here at the community

Kate, I'd like you to meet Father David. I mean, Dave.

He just left the priesthood.

He's in a real hurry to have children, too.

Go on, don't be shy.

What the hell?

Excuse me, Father.

I mean, Dave.

Oh, that's all right, my child.

I mean, baby.

John. Yes. Louise, this is Chow Bing.

Chow is just starting his ten -week course at SmokeEnders.

How do you do?

Maburo.

He's just learning English, but he loves children.

Think about it, dear.

John!

Just a minute. I have to introduce Ralph to Janie.

She's in career counseling.

Emma, there you are.

Oh, hi, Molly.

John, you're going to love Molly. She reminds me of me when I was her age.

You're late.

I know. Would it kill you people to put a sign on the door?

John. Emma, we're leaving.

Where are we going?

Mario.

Oh, thank you.

Isn't this place terrific?

Oh, yes.

Especially if you like cramps and noises.

Waiter. Waiter.

And they would use a dishwasher who's a sighted person.

Yes, ma 'am.

Please. Oh, dear, this table's a little wobbly.

You think we could trouble them for another table? No, no, no. This place is

packed. We can't get another table right now.

All right.

I'll put up with the wobbly.

I won't say another word about it.

I just hope they have Dramamine on the menu.

All right, I'll fix it. Just give me those matches.

Oh, take a second, please.

Oh!

Would you look at these prices?

Never mind the prices. It's all on me. Just order anything you like.

Oh, look.

This restaurant's available for parties.

That'd be nice in case you ever get married again.

What am I saying? I'm dreaming.

All right, all right. Look, we have to talk now. Aunt Emma, please. Oh, dear.

This table's still a little wobbly.

I'll just go under myself and fix it. No, no, no.

Forget about the table, okay? Just forget about the table for a moment.

Now, I have to talk to you about the group.

All right? Now, Aunt Emma, what you did tonight... No need to thank me, dear.

Don't Louise and Chao Ling make a cute couple?

Yes.

Now, look.

We were talking.

The group, that is. Oh, yes. Thank you. I just don't know where I'd be without

them.

Aunt Emmy, you're not making this easy for me.

I'm sorry, John. What were you trying to say?

Okay.

I'm afraid everyone wants you out of the group.

Waiter.

Waiter. Waiter.

Waiter. Aunt Emma, this is not the time to fix the table. Now, please, we have

to discuss something here.

Aunt Emma, please.

Wait.

You could have asked for the matches. Aunt Emma, would you please?

Aunt Emma.

There he is.

We're so sorry to hear about your aunt. John, we would have been here sooner,

but we couldn't ascertain where you were. Yeah, next time, don't leave a

with Chow Ling.

How is Emma doing?

Oh, some nephew I am. My uncle tells me to watch over my aunt. And what do I do?

I give her a heart attack.

Mr. Lacey?

Yeah. We can go up and see your aunt. Oh, thank God. Thank God.

Oh, and Dr. Davenport will be down in a few minutes to fill you in.

Dr. Cooper?

Report to third floor nurse's station. Poor John.

We should never have asked him to throw his arms out of the group.

Why am I feeling so awful? Oh, you're not alone, Ralphie. I don't know how I'm

ever going to be able to sleep again with that poor woman.

Oh.

Time for my treatment.

What's what?

Oh, oh, uh, scalp arousal.

Stimulate my follicles.

I'm Dr.

Davenport. Are any of you John Lacey?

I could be.

He's, um, he's visiting his aunt.

We're friends. Is she going to be okay? She's fine.

She had an anxiety attack.

It caused her to black out.

She didn't have a heart attack?

No, she knows it wasn't a heart attack.

We should all have a heart as strong as hers.

Would you give her release forms to her nephew and tell him the staff and I

would appreciate it enormously if he could take her home as soon as possible?

And it doesn't surprise me one bit that you get dizzy spells.

Serving drinks all night long in a smoky cocktail lounge.

I've got to get out of here.

If you can't find a new job, you should try to sit down at least ten minutes

every hour.

Oh, excuse me. Are you supposed to be moving around like that?

I'll take my chances.

Oh, it's my nephew, the assassin.

Emma, I'm really very sorry. I just pray to God you're going to be okay.

Pray harder. I just saw your Uncle Jack.

Uncle Jack?

I saw him standing at this end of a long tunnel of light. He walked towards me

and he threw his arms around me and told me...

How devastated he was that his favorite nephew would actually throw me out of

his group.

I can't tell you how upsetting it was to see a dead man cry.

He wants his ring back.

But I told him no.

I told him that I was sure that you were sorry that you threw me out of the

group. And that you would probably invite me back.

Well, I don't know if I... That is if I pull through.

Okay, okay, okay. Don't worry, don't worry.

We'll let you back in the group.

So I'm not out of the group? No, no, no. You're not out of the group.

Oh, Johnny.

You were always my favorite nephew.

So what's the matter?

You couldn't bring flowers?

You're not out of here in five minutes. I'm calling security.

What?

Kirk, you are such a slime.

Dr. Harris, call operator number one. Dr. Harris, call operator number one.

John, are you all right?

What a courageous woman.

Supper's out.

A major heart attack, and the only thing she can think of is getting back in the

group. A major heart attack? Is that what she told you?

Listen, I'm telling you people, if that woman pulls through, she's coming back

to this group.

No way, John. Not easy.

What's the matter with you people? The woman is lying in there, knocking on

death's door.

Well, she's got the wrong address, because she only fainted.

Oh, sure. Go ahead and malign the poor woman who fainted.

Right, John. The doctor told us there's nothing wrong with your aunt's heart.

Never has been. Clean bill of health.

Does Aunt Emma know that?

Yeah, the doctor told her.

So while I was in there... She's faking, John.

Faking. I knew it. I knew it. You will excuse me.

Sorry, Uncle Jack.

battle a case of serial default, while a new partner quickly curries the point

of his favor.

This is Jonathan Rollins. Get a taste of L .A. Law.

Next. And Saturday night in lists with NBC on 227 Lester's taking Calvin on

maneuvers. And on Amen, private Selma wants a sergeant in arms Saturday.

I know what you mean. You know, I haven't had a real date in almost two

I just can't seem to meet any interesting men. I don't know where to

anymore. Hey, Red.

How about right under your nose?

If I was a snake, I'd bite you.

You are, and don't even think about it.

What about your office? There must be a few nice, intelligent men where you

work. Oh, I make it a rule never to date anyone I'm working with.

At my old job, my boss wouldn't leave me alone. I finally had to threaten him

with a sexual harassment suit.

Oh, I went through that with one of my old bosses.

Mrs. Filbert, you were involved in a sexual harassment case.

Yes, but they let me off with a warning.