Original subtitles

(street traffic)

("Runaway")

♪ This is such a broken game

♪ We all play anyway

♪ Trying to find the piece that fits ♪

♪ Or the words to say

(people shouting)

♪ You can't run from love,

♪ You can't run from pain

♪ You won't find yourself

♪ When you run away

(breathes heavily)

(mid-tempo alternative music)

- Hey, I'm Brian.

Hey.

(begins typing)

(blows)

Hey, Dom?

- Hmm?

- Play the song.

- You're killing me, honey.

- Come on.

- Why do you always wanna listen to

those weepy sad songs?

- Sad songs make me happy.

- Okay, one time, all right?

We're not playing it 20 times in a row

like we did the last time, okay?

(laughs)

(slow, melancholy music)

- Thanks.

♪ There's a light in the window ♪

♪ Of the house on the corner

♪ I pass every day,

♪ see myself in it on my way

- Hey.

- Hey.

- Cal. - Hi.

- Um, just a beer, tap.

- What kind honey, I'm not a mindreader.

- [Chris] Okay, that one.

This is like, my favorite song.

- Yeah, mine too.

♪ And everybody knows

- Shit, you take cards?

- ATM right over there.

- [Brian] I got that.

- Thanks, man.

♪ Take a walk by the water

♪ The light shines on

♪ Though all of the love is gone ♪

♪ They don't want you

- Come here.

♪ But, your dreams have come true ♪

- Chris. - Brian.

- So, what, you break your piggy bank?

- Uh, yeah, this is kinda like my last hurrah,

my goodbye money.

As in "Aah, money."

- But, you go and buy me this.

I've never been in one of these before.

- Yeah, it's a pretty scary place.

- Are you...

- Gay?

Um, I don't know, I suck cock, does that make me gay?

You know what, fuck "gay," okay?

"Gay" is a comforting myth.

Isn't that right, Dom?

- Mm-hmm, comforting myth.

- It's just, you know, I think I might be too.

Gay, queer, I don't know.

Not gay, I think I'm like bi, maybe.

I got this old lady.

We live together in Upper Darby.

She's pretty okay, but, I don't know.

I get these, like, urges, you know?

Like, sometimes I just, I just gotta, I just need...

- Hot man-on-man action?

- Basically.

(chuckles)

So.

- So.

- You live around here?

- [Brian] Yeah, come on in. (laughs)

Sorry, just watch your step, I'm a little bit of a pig.

- [Chris] Oh, fuck, is it okay?

- [Brian] Go ahead, man, have a seat.

Bottoms up.

Stop, here.

- What's all that?

- [Brian] This? I'm a writer.

Yeah, I know, I write.

- What, like books and stuff?

- [Brian] Yeah. I got one out there, actually,

it's published.

It's poetry, so yeah, kinda fruity.

Hey, man just take off your jacket, stay awhile.

- Can I use your bathroom?

- Yeah, man, it's through there.

What?

- I like you.

(mid-tempo alternative music)

- [Brian] You took your clothes off.

- Yeah.

Can I put these somewhere?

- Yeah, anywhere.

Hit that light.

Come here.

Dude, not so hard.

- Sorry.

(both laugh)

I'm not really good at this.

- It's okay, just relax your mouth.

- Okay. - Yeah.

Better. - Kiss me.

(both breathing heavily, kissing)

- Wait, let me just get a condom.

- I need it.

Ahh!

- Fuck.

- Ah. (breathes heavily)

- Oh, oh, yeah.

(groaning)

- No, wait.

Not too fast, I'm gonna come.

- (groans) Dude, you feel so good inside me.

You feel so fucking good.

(groans)I want you to fuck me.

- Dude, I kinda am.

- No, I want you to really fuck me.

(groans) (uptempo alternative music)

Oh, fuck me.

Harder. (grunts)

(both grunting)

- [Brian] Dude, I'm gonna come.

- Do it, do it! (groans)

- You are intense.

I just wanna hold you.

I wanna lay like this forever.

Hey.

What's wrong?

Hey, what's up?

(breathes heavily)

What's wrong?

Man, come on, what's up?

Hey.

- Stop, stop.

- Come on, dude, what, you wiggin' out?

Hey, man, come on, what did I do?

Hey, come on.

Dude, just tell me what was it, was it me?

Hey, come on, what's up, man?

- I should have my fucking head examined.

- Come on, talk to me, come on, wait!

Jesus, just tell me what did I do?

Was it me?

- It's nothing.

I shouldn't have, I'm not...

I'm sorry.

(slow, ethereal music)

(mid-tempo R&B)

♪ Think they can,

♪ Hard times, hard times,

♪ Hard times from the ceiling burnin' down, ♪

♪ Hard times, hard times,

♪ Hard times, you can see what's coming 'round ♪

♪ Hard times, hard times

- Drew.

♪ Oh, prove it to me, baby

- Drew!

♪ The thing to do that sho' nuff ain't right ♪

- What you yelling my name for like that?

Hey, beautiful.

Say my name again.

- Drew. - Slower, slower, slower.

- Drew.

- Look at you in this light.

You look so beautiful.

So perfect like that.

Say it again.

- Drew.

(sighs)

- I taste your lips.

(both breathing heavily)

- (kisses) I want you.

Hold me.

(slow, ethereal music)

(both breathe heavily)

Hey, say my name.

- Drew.

- [Drew] Say it again. - Drew.

- [Drew] Say it again, slower.

- Drew.

(kissing)

(breathes heavily)

- Take this off.

(Jim groans)

(groans)

- [Drew] Say my name.

- Drew.

- [Drew] Say it again.

- Drew.

- [Drew] Say my name.

- Oh, Fuck. Drew.

- [Drew] Say it.

- Drew, Drew, oh, fuck,

Drew, Drew, Drew, Drew.

(groans) Oh, fuck.

(both grunting)

Fuck!

(both groaning, breathing heavily)

- Say my name. - [Jim] Drew.

- Say my name. - [Jim] Drew.

(both breathing heavily)

- Oh, fuck.

(both moaning, breathing heavily)

(kiss)

- Ah, ah.

- [Drew] What's my name.

- Ah, Drew.

(grunts) (slow, ethereal music)

- Here, pull over here.

Psst! Hey, hot shot!

Yeah, you, yeah, yeah, come here a minute.

- What's up, man?

- Hi there.

- Hello.

- [Bob] What's your name?

- Scotty.

- [Bob] Hi, Scotty, I'm Bob.

- Hello, Bob.

- [Bob] What are you up to?

- What am I up to?

- [Bob] Yeah, what are you up to?

I see you standing over there, is that your friend?

- Yeah, just you know, hanging out,

you know, seeing where the night takes us, man.

Cool ride, bro.

- [Bob] Oh, you like the car, huh?

- Yeah.

Tihs boat it's like a shark attack you know?

The great white of the streets.

(Bob laughs)

- [Bob] I wanted a black one, but they were all out.

- Yeah, life's a bitch, huh?

- [Bob] Hey, you get high, Scotty?

- Time to time.

Why, you got any party supplies?

- [Bob] (laughs) I'm a drunk, son.

I don't do nothing else.

- Oh, well, you know, I like to get drunk.

Did you wanna take a ride or something?

(sniffs)

- [Bob] I think I'm gonna pass,

but, it's been nice talking to you.

- Wait, wait, wait, I thought you wanted

somebody to have a party with, you know?

- [Bob] I don't know what I want.

But, I'll know him when I find him.

- Whatever!

- Drive on, sir, drive on.

He'll be dead in a year.

(mid-tempo ethereal music)

- Just torture, not mercy.

Heaven is here where Juliet lives.

And every cat and dog and little mouse,

every unworthy thing live here in heaven

and may look on her.

But, Romeo may not.

Because more validity, more courtship

lives in carrion flies than Romeo.

Fuck!

Fuck, suck this shit.

Fuck Romeo, fuck fucking Juliet!

(sighs) Banished.

Banish-ed.

Banish-ed.

Ban, la-la-la-la-la-la-la.

(sighs) Banished.

Banished.

Banished. (sighs)

They may seize on the white wonder of dear Juliet's hand,

and steal immortal blessings from her lips.

Oh, even in pure vestal modesty,

still blush as thinking your own kiss a sin.

Though Romeo may not,

he's been banished, (sobs) he's banished!

- [Custodian] What the hell is this?

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Gene said I could practice here.

- [Custodian] Well nobody told me nothing.

- All right, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,

I'll go, I'll go, I'll go.

Fuck.

(knocking on window)

(sighs)

- Hey, Dan.

- [Dan] Brian, what time is it?

- I have no earthly idea.

- Jesus.

You know, I have a door.

Window.

(groans) Damn, man, I was having a killer dream.

- Yeah, what was it about?

- I can't remember now.

- You know, I wrote these in two weeks,

the initial poems.

Editing took longer, but, for two weeks,

man, I was on fire.

- So, is that why you woke me up?

To see if I still had your book?

- These aren't poems, you know.

- Okay, what are they, then?

- You remember the first time we fooled around?

- Of course.

- You remember the morning?

The next morning in bed?

Man, I was so happy, it was killer sex all night long,

and then, we just talked, you know,

and the light was coming in through the window pane.

And I told you my favorite thing to do was to be kissed,

and you remember what you did?

- Yeah.

- You kissed me.

It was amazing, we made out for like, an hour.

Soul to soul.

You remember that, did you feel that?

- Yeah.

- Yeah. Yeah.

(laughs) How many times did we fool around that summer?

- I don't know, man, we were drunk half the time.

- Three times, it was three times.

Man, you were amazing.

You were curious and you were playful

and passionate and hot.

- Shut up.

- And there was love in that room.

You could feel that, couldn't you?

And those other times, you were the one.

You came knocking on my door.

My straight roommate wanted me.

Yeah? (chuckles)

Why'd you stop?

- Oh, Brian.

- No, come on, man.

Why'd you stop wanting me, what did I do?

- "What did you do"?

You didn't do anything.

- Okay, then, why, tell me.

- I don't know.

- [Brian] Tell me. - I don't know, man.

Jesus, you wake me up in the middle of the night.

- [Brian] Just tell me.

- I don't know, okay?

I'd tried it with guys... - Guys?

- I tried it with you and you were "guys" for me.

- Okay, so, was I some experiment?

Something to do between girlfriends?

- No. No, man.

(sighs)

Look, being with you meant so much to me.

It did.

But, I like girls, man. (laughs)

I do, and I got this thing with Sondra and...

- And you love her.

(reads) "The days were bright red and every time we kissed,

"there was another apple to slice into pieces.

"Look at the light through the windowpane,

"that means it's noon.

"That means we're incontrollable.

"Tell me how all this and love too will ruin us.

"These are bodies possessed by light.

"Tell me we'll never get used to it."

- That's my favorite one.

- I wrote it for you.

The whole book is for you.

For you because of you because I fell in love with you.

And that sucks for me because

my love is a sickness, it's a disease.

- Shh.

- And I'm wiped out.

I'm gone. (laughs)

I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't write.

I can't do anything but look for you.

- I thought you said the new book was going great.

- Okay, well, I lied.

I'm a one-hit wonder and I'm going down.

And my savings are gone, and the advance is gone.

Andl you know my dad's gonna be so happy about that.

Oh, stupid faggot artist son fucks it up again.

- No, hey, your dad is gonna be upset

because his son is broke, okay?

You didn't fail, Brian, okay?

You made a choice, okay?

You took a risk and I respect the hell outta you for that.

In this book.

Do you have any...

This book means the world to me, okay?

And then, it gets published.

You know, and you win all these awards

and you go off and you travel and you do all these readings.

I mean if you don't feel pride or gratitude for that,

I'm gonna smack you upside the head.

- (laughs) I was arrogant.

One stupid little book and I know,

let's ditch school and quit our job because

we're a real writer now. (laughs)

I'm so stupid.

And now they want another book and I cannot write.

If my life depended on it, I can't.

- So, get a job, okay?

Get a job, just like the rest of us.

Yeah.

I mean you wrote this book when

you were busing tables, you douchebag.

And screw you, by the way.

Okay, do you know how lucky you are?

You got a gift, man.

You got a gift, I would kill for something like that.

- It's not a gift.

- [Dan] Oh, shut up.

- Everybody leaves.

- No, they don't.

Not everybody.

I do love you, man, I do.

You know that, right?

(sighs, laughs)

Come here, come here.

(sighs)

Hey, ah, ah, ah.

No, dogboy.

Go home, Brian.

(slow, ethereal music)

- You live here?

- Not for long.

Wait here a sec, okay?

- What, we can't go inside?

- Just one second.

Drew?

Drew?

Drew?

- Hey.

What are you doing staring out the window?

Looking so beautiful in this light.

- I'm making a decision.

- About what?

- (sighs) Stuff.

- [Drew] Mmm, stuff.

- (sighs) I'm at lunch you know.

You can't just fuck me every time you're on a fucking break.

- A fuck break, I like that.

- Hey, look at you, stay right there.

Looking so beautiful.

My beautiful and gentle thing, beautiful boy.

- I'm moving to New York.

- What?

New York.

Okay, baby, baby, come on, talk to me.

What you doing, come here.

- Just let me go, okay?

Let me fuckin' go! - Whoa!

Okay, um, when did you decide this?

- A few days ago.

- [Drew] A few days ago? - Today.

- [Drew] Okay, today? - Whatever!

- [Drew] Which one is it? - Whatever! It doesn't...

- Hey, wait, wait, I told you I was gonna be

working on this piece for the next three or four months,

and you said it was cool.

- Fuck that fucking statue!

- [Drew] Yeah, I been working on it.

- When you're done with it, are you gonna throw me out?

- I'm not gonna throw you out.

I love you, I would never do that.

I'd do anything for you.

You know that.

- Yeah, yeah, you 'd do anything for me.

- All right, yeah, I'd do anything for you.

- Fine, destroy it!

Break it into a million fucking pieces!

- Are you serious?

Is that what you want?

- Yes, yes!

- So, that's gonna prove my love for you?

- That's what I fucking want, I want you to

fucking destroy the fucking thing!

- You're fucking lying.

I love you, but, I'm not doing that.

- No, no, you don't love me!

You use me, you just...

- Wait, baby, just calm down.

- Shut up, I'm not your human sacrifice!

- Human sacrifice?

What the fuck are you talking about?

- Don't fucking touch me!

(door slams)

- What the fuck just happened?

(police siren)

- Got a smoke?

What are you doing sitting out here on the curb?

- Waiting for a friend, he's coming right out.

- Yeah? What's your friend's name?

- I don't know, we just met.

- What's my name, yo?

- How the fuck should I know, "Sal Mineo"?

- Close. Sergio.

- Yeah?

(chuckles) I'm Brian.

- Brian?

Cool.

Smoke pot?

- I guess.

- 'Cause I got this killer stuff, but, I ain't got no pipe.

You got one?

Yeah, think so, it's back at my house.

- Yeah? You live around here?

- (chuckles) I have no idea.

- It'd be fun to get high with you.

You'd be funny high.

- Thanks?

- Isn't this where that famous sculpture artist lives?

- Is it? - Yeah.

Famous sculpture artist, big shot.

You model for him?

- Me? No.

- Big fucking moon, yo.

- [Brian] Yeah, big fucking moon.

- Well, have fun with your imaginary friend.

- He's not imaginary.

- Yo, if I was an artist, you could

model for me anytime you want.

(slow ethereal music)

- [Drew] Fuck! (glass breaks)

- Hey, man, are you okay?

(R&B music)

(breathes heavily)

(breathes heavily)

(both breathe heavily, grunting)

- Whoa, that was hot.

- Yeah.

- What's your name?

- What difference does it make?

- What's your name?

- Jim.

- I'm Brian.

- Cool.

(gate opens and closes)

All right, I'll see you later.

- Whoa, wait a minute.

I mean, what are you up to?

You wanna get a drink or something?

- No, I gotta go meet my friends.

(uptempo dance music) (people chattering)

- Well, hello. - Hi.

- Where'd you come from?

- Cold and lonely night.

- Aw, poor baby, you by yourself, huh?

Can I buy you a drink?

- Sure. - What'll you have?

- Whiskey.

A beer chaser.

- Two whiskeys and a beer chaser for my friend.

I know he wants to chase something.

- Tony. - Gus.

- Man, you are fucking fine.

I'd love to take you home and have you fuck me.

Just fuck me all fucking night.

- That's hot.

- Fucking Louie it's hot.

Cheers. - [Jim] Cheers.

- To tonight! - Fuck yeah.

- Two more!

- I've been looking for you all night.

And I have found you.

Hey, I'm Brian.

- Hey. - Hey.

- Jim's boyfriend.

- Tony. - Yeah, truly, truly.

(laughs) Oh, yeah.

You like my boyfriend? Yeah?

No, it's okay, everybody does.

Look at him, he's gorgeous, right?

And you know we've only been dating

like two or three months, yeah.

- Wow!

- Yeah, but, we're sickly in love, right?

Yeah, it's sick.

- That's great, I'm, really happy for you.

Nice meeting you.

- Don't go.

- That's all right, I'm not into fuckin' drama.

- He's the best fuckin' fuck I ever had.

- Fuck!

- Oh, it's jumpin' in here, huh?

Come on.

- I'm leaving, okay?

Can you hear me?

I'm leaving.

Don't fucking follow me.

Okay?

- Hey, you're a real dick, you know that?

Anybody ever tell you that? (breathes heavily)

Hey, I'm talking to you.

At least be a man and look me in the eye.

- Look, I don't know you, okay?

Just because we fucked does not mean we're friends.

So, go home, you're drunk, stay away from me.

Just do whatever the fuck you wanna do.

Stay away from me!

- Okay, don't walk away from me.

- Look, man, never touch me again you fucking psycho!

(breathes heavily)

Look, look, just...

Just go home, okay?

Just go home.

- You're a soulless fucking dick and I hate you!

I wish I never met you!

- [Bob] Female companionship.

- Excuse me?

- Only one thing would put a puss

on a man like that, and that's females.

Jealousy and lover's contempt, something like that.

Am I right?

- Yeah, something like that.

- I thought so.

- What's her name?

- Maryanne.

- Maryanne. Sweet Maryanne.

A name that's hung like a bell in my heart.

And when it swings it rings, "Maryanne, Maryanne, Maryanne."

(laughs)

Well, fuck her if she can't take a joke, right?

- Right. - Am I right?

- You're right.

- Hey. - What?

- What do you think of my ride?

- It's awesome.

- Damn right it is.

You ever been inside one of those things?

It's like the Titanic.

A fucking ocean liner!

- Yeah, once in high school prom.

- Well, you're not in high school anymore, are you?

Are you?

- No, I'm not in high school anymore.

- So hop in.

Yeah, hop in.

We'll drink like men and cruise around in style,

the envy of everyone around us.

- Yeah, sure, I mean why not.

- That's it.

Grab life by the balls.

Take it. (laughs)

Help me up here, I'm an old man.

- You're not old, but like, you should

probably slow down on that stuff.

- (indistinct) Speak not as the gods will hear.

In you go. - After you.

- No, no, no, I insist.

I'll tell you something kid:

Girls ruin everything.

Here, have a drink.

(groans)

- Too weak for you, kid?

- It's really strong.

- (laughs) The better to get you drunk with.

(laughs) You have to catch up with me, right?

- Apparently.

So, what do you do, exactly?

- I'm an agent, son, agent to the stars.

- Agent, like a talent agent.

- Yep, known around the world.

Pow! (laughs)

My name is Bob, but you may call me "Bob."

What do they call you around here, son?

- (stammers) What are you an agent for?

- Don't be a star fucker kid, it's unattractive.

Tonight, you'll get to be the star.

Now, tell me your name, or I'll pick one for you.

You won't like it, but, that'll be tough shit for you

'cause it'll be your name for the rest of the night.

How would you like that?

- No, no.

I'm Jim.

- Oh, that's too bad.

I was hoping for "Mike."

I like that name, "Mike."

You're Mike and Mike was a car mechanic,

and he had his old lady and two girlfriends on the side,

(chuckles)

and they all chased him around.

- I'm sorry, I'm just Jim.

- And I shall call you "James," and you shall be a prince

and henceforth, you shall be "Prince James."

So, what do you do, a rock star, James?

- Well, it's funny you should mention that because like...

- Just do not tell me you're another fucking actor!

Because if you're a goddamn fucking actor,

you can just get the hell outta my car.

I've had enough of goddamn actors for one goddamn life.

If you're an actor, there's the door, beat it.

Because tonight, I'm on vacation.

I'm sorry, what were you saying?

Oh, yes, so what do you do, Mike?

I'm sorry, Jim.

James.

- I'm a car mechanic.

- Get the fuck out.

- No, really, I'm a car mechanic.

(laughs)

It's funny how you knew, huh?

- Unbelievable.

- Yeah, I work over at Fifth Street with my buddy, Al.

We were friends since high school.

I used to bang his sister.

(laughs)

Yeah, and I was just some kid,

some bum from Pittsburgh, this real dick.

- Couldn't be that.

- Yeah, he's a soulless dick.

(glass breaks)

- (laughs) I give up, I give up.

I surrender, okay?

I did it, I confess.

Do with me what you will.

It was me.

Oh, my soul, be with me now, all things shining.

Chris.

Your name is Chris and we made sweet love

right there tonight years ago and

you are Dan.

And I love you and that's okay.

That's okay.

Chris, Jim, after meeting Sergio.

Tyrell, Andre, Tim, Michael, Phil, Dave,

Andre, Cameron, Frankie.

- Inhuman sacrifice.

Human sacrifice.

Use you up through...

Hey, I'm not a vampire!

Not gonna try to suck your blood,

anything like that, and then get rid of you.

You must don't know me!

New York, New York, big city of dreams.

Go to New York.

Cool.

Do what you need to do.

Jim, you hear me!

I'm not a vampire.

Jim.

Jimmy, what are you gonna do in New York anyway?

Jim?

Jimmy?

Come on, what are you gonna do?

Move to New York and get a little

shitty apartment on the Lower East Side?

About 40 hipster roommates?

Is that what you wanna do?

What, with no contacts, no money, no nothing?

All right, big man, you're a grown man.

Do what you gotta do.

New York!

Baby, it's the work.

It's the work.

That work takes everything.

It takes all you got.

It takes your blood, your sweat, your tears,

your heart, your fucking.

It takes everything, man, you gotta put it all in there.

And sometimes you don't have time for...

I don't know, the day-to-day.

Stuff.

Jim? Jim.

Jim!

Baby. (knocks on door)

Baby.

(sighs)

You know, sometimes, it just hurts me

how beautiful you are.

I'm not talking aesthetics, I'm talking

your innocence, your pure beauty.

That's what I see, and sometimes I guess

I'm all over you because I just want to devour it,

I just want to get closer to it,

I just wanna touch it and feel that beauty.

I don't know.

But, hey, if you wanna go, go.

I'm gonna go crazy here without you,

but, a man's gotta be free.

Okay?

I'm gonna let you do what you gotta do, all right?

That's my love talking, baby,

that's my love talking right here.

You hear me, Jim?

Jim?

Jimmy?

Jim, you hear me? (knocks on door)

I'm talking to you.

Jim.

Motherfuck!

(people chattering)

- Let me ask you something.

- Shoot.

- You're a ladies man.

- That's right.

- Got a lot of girlfriends?

- A few.

- How old are they?

- Different ages.

I go where my body takes me.

- Where your body takes you.

I like that.

Has your body ever made it with a guy before?

- As a matter of fact, yeah, once.

- Tell me about it.

- It was a couple of years ago.

It was summertime, hot, sweaty.

This guy drives by, he does a U-turn, stops.

So, I said, you know what, fuck it. (chuckles)

Just got in his car, went to his place.

- And? - And what?

- What did you do?

- We fucked, Bob.

What do you think?

- Yeah.

Suppose I was to tell you that

I wanted to have sex with you.

What would you think about that?

- Yeah, I kinda put that one together, Bob.

- I pay, good money.

- Is that what you meant when you said you were on vacation?

(slow jazz music)

(chuckles)

- Interesting.

(uptempo alternative music)

(breathes heavily)

You all right there, you look a little woozy.

- Oh, just dizzy. (laughs)

I'm an old man, son.

- No, no, you're not that old.

Come here.

- Awfully nice of you to say, but,

the facts speak otherwise.

(slow alternative music)

Keep dancing.

I like to watch you dance.

Take off your shirt.

You.

You are a beautiful something.

You like it when people look at you?

- I do.

- Good.

'Cause I could look at you for the rest of my life.

You're not straight, are you?

- Yeah, no.

- No. I thought so.

- Why didn't you say anything?

- Because we were having so much fun, right?

Weren't you having fun?

- Yeah.

- So, you're seeing somebody right now?

- I'm living with this guy, he's an artist.

He's kinda famous, actually.

His name is Drew Tiger.

- Your boyfriend is Drew Tiger?

- Yeah.

We met at this party.

You know, I never thought I'd meet anyone like him.

He taught me a lot, you know, about art,

about lots of things.

He holds me, you know, and I get butterflies.

I get hard, you know.

(chuckles)

He just wraps me in those big arms and,

I could just live there forever.

You know, I just feel safe.

- You swoon.

- Yeah.

And like, honestly, it's probably

the best sex I've ever had.

Like, fuck.

- (chuckles) He sounds nice.

- Well, it doesn't matter anymore.

We're breaking up.

- [Bob] Why?

(slow, melancholy music)

- I don't know.

- What's happening?

Come on, tell me.

- Well, I'm just one of his things.

You know, like his fuckboy or his art.

You know, he tells me he loves me.

He tells me he loves me all the time.

But, you know, I...

I don't think he means it.

- [Bob] Why do you say that?

- [Jim] 'Cause all he cares about is his art.

- [Bob] Well, he is an artist.

- [Jim] So?

- [Bob] So, cut him some slack.

You think an artist like him has a choice?

He's hard-wired in.

He has to work, there's no choice there.

You can't be mad at him for that.

Maybe you don't know what it means

to be an artist at his level.

But, for an artist like Drew Tiger,

he'll die if he can't work.

- You know, he tells me I'm his muse.

- [Bob] And you don't like that?

- No, I never asked to be his fucking muse.

And when he's done with that fucking sculpture,

I'll be done, he'll throw me out.

- Is that what you really think?

What does he say he loves about you?

- He just says he loves me, and he'd do anything for me.

Like a broken record, over and over and over.

- Maybe that's the only way he knows how to say it.

That, maybe he communicates better with his hands.

- I do love his hands.

I swear, we fit like a glove.

- And you feel safe.

Isn't that a kind of love?

- I guess so.

- Have you ever been in love before?

- Yeah, once.

(sighs) He killed me.

- Yeah, well, shit happens.

You'll know more the next time you fall in love.

- So, it gets easier?

You league?

- (laughs) No, son, no, not at all.

No, it just gets a lot more complicated.

I was in love once, a long time ago.

You remind me of him.

- Was his name Mike?

- (laughs) See how smart you are?

Best friends in love, best kind of love.

Oh, we were beautiful then.

Goddamn, I loved him.

- Where is this Mike of yours now?

- He died.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

AIDS?

- No.

This was way before that.

He died in the war.

Fucking Vietnam.

Yeah, dead and gone.

Your generation got it made. (chuckles)

Holding hands in public, you take that for granted.

It didn't always used to be that way.

(sighs) Gay marriage.

(sighs) I wish I could have married him.

I would've, but then, I'd be a widower now.

But, I think about him every day.

There's a part of me that's still there somewhere with him.

Wandering around.

Bob?

Bob.

(slow, ethereal music)

- [Brian] Chemical names, burn names,

names of fire in flights of snow.

Baby names, paint names,

delicate names like the bones of the body.

Names that one's ever been able to figure out.

Names of spells and names of hexes.

Names called out to fill the yard

calling you inside again, calling you home.

Names called out across the water.

Names I called you behind your back.

Names of flowers that open only once.

Shouted from rooftops muffled by pillows,

whispered in sleep.

We are not traitors, but, the lights go out.

His voice on tape, his name on the envelope,

the soft sound of a body falling off a bridge behind you.

The body hardly makes a sound.

All night, I stretch my arms across them,

rivers of blood, the dark woods singing

with all my skin and bones, "Please keep him safe."

His lips at my neck and as I do believe his mouth is heaven,

his kisses falling all over me like stars.

Names of heat and names of light,

names of collision in the dark on the side of a bus,

in the bark of a tree, in a ballpoint pen on keys,

and the hands in the back of matchbooks that then get lost.

Your name is like a song I sing to myself.

Your name is like a box where I keep my love.

Your name like a nest in the tree of love.

Your name like a boat in the sea of love.

Well, now, we're in the sea of love.

Your name like a detergent in the washing machine,

your name like two X's like punched-in eyes

to mark the spots to hold the place

to keep the treasure from becoming ever lost.

I'm saying your name in the grocery store.

I'm saying your name on a bridge at dawn,

your name like an animal covered with frost,

a suit of fur, a coat of mud, a kick in the pants,

a lung full of glass, the sails and wind that slap the waves

on the hull of a boat that's sinking to the sound

of mermaids singing songs of love,

and the tug of a simple profound sadness

when it sounds so far away.

We laugh and he pits the world against us.

We laugh and our hearts turn red.

The river rises like a barn on fire.

Eats a bed of straw, darling, and sure as shit is.

Say, "Hallelujah," say, "Good-night."

Say it over the canned music, and your feet won't stumble.

His face getting larger, the rest blurring on every side,

and angels knocking on your head.

A flash in the sky.

Here is my hand, my heart, my throat, my wrist.

Here are the illuminated cities at the center of me

and here is the center of me, which is a lake,

which is a well that we can drink from,

but, I can't go through with it.

I can't go through with it,

I just don't want to die anymore.

- Every time I see you, you all lonely on the curb.

- That's how I find you.

I sit on the curb and there you are, boom,

it's like a Bat signal.

- Then, I'm a superhero.

- Maybe this is your disguise.

- My disguise?

Check you out, (chuckles) that's a good one, yo.

I got these when I was drunk and stupid.

I like them, they tell my story.

So, what's up?

Still waiting for your imaginary friend?

- (laughs) No, I live here.

- White boy found his house.

- Yeah, I found it.

- Hey, I still got that stuff, got that pipe?

- Yeah, I do, (laughs) yeah.

It's just I don't really feel like getting high right now,

I'm kinda high enough already, you know?

- It's cool, it's cool.

- No, no offense.

- No worries, no worries.

- It's just uh...

(slow, alternative music)

Gotta tell you I'm torn here, man.

- Torn about what?

- I like you and I wanna invite you inside.

- Then, invite me inside.

- It's just, I wanna talk, you know?

- About what?

- Anything. I just wanna hear stories.

Your stories if you want.

- All right.

Under one condition.

- Shoot.

- You gotta let me hold you.

I like to hold a guy, close.

Spooning and all.

Make fun of me all you want.

- No, no, I won't make fun of you.

I'd give anything in the world for you to hold me right now.

♪ We're only this far from one another ♪

♪ We're only this far from one another ♪

♪ We're only this far from one another ♪

♪ To a long, long road

♪ You're just failing,

♪ Failing is not an option,

♪ Is not an option

♪ We're only this far from one another ♪

♪ We're only this far from one another ♪

♪ We're only this far from one another ♪

♪ To run our own way