Original subtitles

I think you'll like this. You'll find it very interesting.

Oh, yes. See that?

They're the uniforms they used to wear in those days.

Oh, aren't they lovely?

Yes, this is a very early bust, this one. Yes.

Well, I've never seen one like this before. No, this is to celebrate the

anniversary. Oh, hello, Blakey. What are you doing?

Well, I'm organising this thing, aren't I?

The management, in their infinite wisdom, Mrs Butler, has asked me to tell

public what it was like to be a busman 100 years ago.

That's clever, because he was here.

Twit. Yes, what's that photo, Inspector?

Oh, this is when we were using horse buses, Mrs Butler. Look, here's one of a

horse and an inspector of that time.

That's very good, yeah.

Which is yours?

Twit.

What is that? Inspector holding a bucket and shovel.

I expect he was clearing up after the horse.

Yeah, well, that's all inspectors were fit for.

Very funny.

Here you see the horse buses before we turned over the motor buses.

Anyone like to ask any questions at all about the horse buses? Excuse me,

Inspector. I would like to ask about this motor bus.

Yes, madam, indeed. What would you like to know about the motor bus? What time

does it leave for South End?

Hold on.

No, madam, this bus doesn't go to Southend anymore.

No, the Southend bus left from over there five minutes ago.

Oh, well, you might have said.

I've been waiting here all morning.

Oh, God.

You wait here all the morning.

It's no laughing matter.

Any questions now about this?

Yes, I'd like to ask a question, Buggy.

Oh, certainly, Harper. What would you like to know? Can I have a word with you

vis -a -vis the new schedules? We're objecting. You've got us down to more

journeys per shift.

Yeah, but we can't talk about that now. Oh, yes, we can. He's right. I've done

so many hours, I'm fit to drop.

Well, that's just too bad, Butler, because I worked those schedules out and

they're going to stay.

Oh, here we go. It's off again.

Aye, brothers, gather round.

There has been a refusal to meet the accredited shop steward, convene joint

negotiations and discuss.

Action will therefore be taken unilaterally forthwith.

What does that mean?

It means we're all out on strike.

All right, fellas, all out, all out.

Here we go again.

Oh, God. Come on, head up the office. We'll soon talk this out.

Yes, Dad, does that mean we won't get a bus home? No, don't you worry, Mum. You

leave it to old Jack.

As soon as they hear the word strike, we'll be back on the old shed just

you know it. Right.

you knew where you were then, you could always rely on the bus being half an

hour late.

Yes, Dad, doesn't this old bus look funny?

It hasn't got a lid on it.

Do you know what? That was the first motor bus to leave the Luxton garage.

Really? Yeah, it was, yeah. Oh.

I wonder what they were like to drive.

Here, you know what, love? What? You know, Granny used to tell me about these

buses. Did she really? Yeah. Oh, I bet it was a brute to drive. Cool.

Oh, I wouldn't like in them days to love all the... Polish him on his brows.

You never had none of those quick polishes.

Now vacuum cleaners. And you had to do all your cooking on an open stove.

God, I'm half tired, Mum. It must be all that overtime I've been doing, see. I

used to wear such lovely long dresses with skirts sweeping the ground.

Yes, a strap of all the muck, too.

Nah, there weren't no same day cleaners them days. Now you had to do it all

yourself. Well, they were better than these shape -and -soul uniforms.

I think it must have been ever so romantic.

Don't you, Stan?

Yes, and he's dropped off.

He's tired out.

They work him too hard, you know.

Hold the red shirt. Hold the red shirt.

I think he's dreaming.

any for the kids? Oh, no, it ain't like this, is it? Go on, get out of here!

Kill! No, no, no. Get out of here! Get out of here!

Get out of here!

Hey, Jack, you're only soft.

What's Frankie going to say?

Oh, don't worry about him. He knows you're a rotten driver, doesn't he?

Look, I mean, it's all in a day's work, isn't it?

No, I don't drive a bus for a shot every day. No, that's...

Only once a week, innit? Oh, yeah.

No, don't worry about it, Blackie. He can't eat us, can he?

No. No? I mean, what could he do?

Nothing, really.

Well, exactly.

Well, you go and face him and I'll put the arms away. Yeah, come here, come

here. You're in this as well as I am, you know.

What are you talking about? You were driving the horses. Yeah.

And who's the one that pointed out that girl? The one walking up the stairs of

the bus in front of me? The one with the short skirt on?

Yeah, Blimey, yeah. It was short, wasn't it? That's right, it was.

I saw her ankles.

I know, I know.

When she was going up the stairs, I nearly saw her lower.

Go on, you didn't.

What do you see?

I saw her knees.

You're getting me going.

Oh, come on, let's go and see. I can't. I'll get the sack.

Yes, of course you won't.

Even if you do, I mean, look, the union will stick up for you.

What's a union?

Well, look, it's when all the workers in the depot band together to fight the

boss. What's the first time I've heard of it?

Yeah, well, there's only me in the union at the minute.

Sounds good sort, innit? Yeah. Come on, look, I'm not afraid of the Kaiser.

Nah. I mean, come on, let's just tell him, mate. Yeah, yeah. Come on, we'll

him who's the governor round here. Jack, Jack, what shall we say then? No, we'll

just go in there and tell him.

Oh, Mr. Blank, sir? Yes, sir. Now, where do you two think you've been, eh? You

know it's... slate, don't you? Yeah, I'm afraid you're not going to like this,

Mr. Blake. Sir, one of our horses threw a shoe, didn't he, Stan? Yeah. Yeah, he

threw a shoe.

Well, what's the terrible about that? The horses are always throwing shoes.

Yeah, well, when he threw his shoe, he threw it through the door of a shop.

What kind of a shop?

A china shop.

Oh, that's good.

Here. I hope you've got the shoe back. They're a penny each, you know.

No, you see, because when he threw it, he didn't let go.

But I don't see that.

When the shoe went through, he went through.

And when he went through, we went through and showed him the bus.

Don't stop.

Do you mean to tell me that you drove your horse bus through a shop window

was a China shop?

That's right, now you've got it.

It wasn't my fault, honest. Oh, no, it wasn't your fault, no. I suppose your

horse bus was parked at the side of the road and the china shop took off and

drove at you.

Shut up!

Yeah, well, I admit it's going to cost the company a few bob.

Yeah, what are you going to do, sack us, sir? Yes, I'll sack. Get out. Go on.

Come back here.

No, that'd be too easy, wouldn't it? You'd like that, wouldn't you?

No. You two are going to work twice as hard for the rest of your natural life

till you've paid for that. Oh, we can't do that. Look, we're doing as many

journeys in a 14 -hour day as is humanly possible. I mean, we can't do no more.

Follow me.

Cast your gig lamps out there and show me what you make of that.

What's that funny -looking thing out there?

That funny -looking thing out there, Butler, is a horseless bus.

Well, I can see it's a horseless bus. All you do is put two horses in front of

it. No, no, no. A horseless bus doesn't need any horses.

Well, how does it go?

There you are, Batman.

That is what will make the bus go.

What, that little thing? That little thing pulled this blue great thing like

this? That little thing there is 20 horsepower.

Hey, I want to tell you, Jax, it's got 20 horses to pull it.

horses and mechanical horses.

That little thing there will make you go at 20 miles an hour.

Look, Mr. Blake, if the working man was meant to go 20 miles an hour, God would

have given him wings.

You fool.

You don't go at 20 miles an hour. It's the bus what goes at 20 miles an hour.

You'll be able to get to the cemetery gates in half the time.

Oh, that's great. I like this bus, you know.

You see, if we get there in half the time, we'll get there early.

extra time to ourselves.

You will do nothing of the kind.

As it gets here in half the time, you'll be able to do twice as many trips.

The next butler is how you will pay back for all the damage you've done today.

Well, there's one thing, Stan. If we do twice as many trips, we'll get twice the

wages I have. Don't talk ridiculous.

What do we get out of it, then? Nothing.

Well, what do we get out of it if we say we won't do it?

You'll get the sec.

Yeah, and what if we say we're on strike?

You'll still get the sec.

And under the Trade Dispute Act of 1909, you'll get six months' hard labour.

We'd better do it, Stan. Now you're talking sex track. Now, come along.

You do realise, of course, but that you've got to learn to drive this

your own time, don't you? Oh, yeah, that's understandable, I think.

Now, then, the first thing you do is pour in some of this petroleum into the

engine. You've got to light it, mate. No, no, don't you light it, mate. You've

got to understand this stuff is highly combustible.

Right. You pour it into there, right? Yeah. That thing there.

Now then, that goes down there into a cylinder.

It makes a loud bang, drives down a piston.

This piston turns a shaft, which turns the back wheels, which draws the bus

along. That never worked. I don't get it. You will get it. Get up on that

driving seat and start it up. Come on.

Just a minute, Mr. Baker. How do we start it?

You say G up. Ha, ha, ha.

When he turns that hand over, what does it do?

It winds up the rubber band in there.

Come on, turn it.

It's nothing, isn't it?

Well, give it a lot of sugar.

Turn it again.

You've chosen a bet.

Try that again.

Oh, no, no. I've had quite enough of that. You do it.

Are you scared of it? Yeah. Good. I might have known anything to do with

fires, too.

I'm not frightened. No, I'm not frightened. I'll do it. You turn to the

all right? Right.

Oh,

loud. Haven't you got them long johns clean yet? You've been dollying them

for half an hour.

I just can't get this water soapy.

working so hard.

Isn't 14 hours a day long enough for them? Oh, I don't know. It's not a bad

really, you know, when you come to think of it now.

I'm only doing about 85 hours a week. Oh.

Yeah, and what with Olive selling her pegs and you taking in the manager's

laundry. Do you know what? We're nearly bringing a pound a week.

Yeah.

Well, I suppose we have to thank God for giving us the strength to do all this

work. I wish we didn't have to take him washing.

Where's your smalls, then? There. They're not even in yet. Oh, no. Well,

if they're your smalls, I don't know what your bigs are like.

Here, Mum.

Have you got anything to eat? I'm hungry. Yes, love.

There's some nice sheep's head stew on the brain.

Oh, lovely. I'm starving. My favourite, too. I'm starving and hungry, Mum. I

really am.

Horses. Oh?

Yes, and I've been picked for a special job.

Stan, they're not going to make you pull the bus.

Of course they're not, ma 'am. We're having new hominy buses.

They work for a motor. You wouldn't understand that. Anyway, I'm taking the

first one out tomorrow, you know. Dear love, you mustn't go in one of them

things. The vicar says they're the invention of the devil.

Think of the devil.

I'd be like a pioneer, wouldn't I? Like Sir Francis Drake.

Oh, was he a driver as well?

He sailed round the world.

What, in a bus?

Robbie, don't you know nothing? You're dead ignorant.

I can't help it. I'm cooped up here all day. I never get out.

Of course you do. You get out when you sell your pigs.

Well, as my dear old mother used to say, God rest her soul, a woman's place is

in the old. Well, it's...

Can't women do the same jobs as men?

You've been listening to them suffragettes again.

All this votes for women rubbish.

Well, some women have chained themselves to the railings to protest against it.

Well, that's ridiculous.

I don't know what good that does.

Well, if enough women do it, then men will have to take notice of us. Then I

drive a bus the same as you.

Don't talk wet.

I tell you what, love, your cooking's improving.

I'm going to have some more of yours, too.

Yes, it's very good, love. It's pretty there.

It's no good, Mum. I just can't get this to lather. I've used nearly a whole jar

of soda. There must be something wrong with it. There's nothing wrong with

love. Look, the... Oh.

That's not soda. That's...

What have you been putting in the stove?

just demands.

Oh, no, I don't know, Jack. I think we'd better give this new bus a trial just

to see how it works now.

Look, I'll tell you how it'll work out, mate. It'll work us out.

Look, we'll be doing twice as much work and they'll get rid of half the blokes.

Yeah, but you heard what Blakey said. If we have one of these what -you -call

-it strikes, we'll all get the sack. No, what's it matter?

We'll have the union behind us.

Don't talk wet. You're the only one in the union.

Yeah, well, at the moment, but I mean, we're getting new members every day.

There's a 100 % increase in membership already.

Gee, you don't... We're not taking the bus out today, Mr. Maxwell.

We're on strike.

On strike.

On strike?

That's that union nonsense you're talking about, isn't it?

Who said you're on strike?

He does, don't you think?

Institution? Anarchy and revolution.

It means that you will be sent to botany by other convicts.

I'm getting in.

Oh, this is indeed an honour, sir, that General Manager come into my office.

I got the new Omnibus away on time, sir.

Yes, sir, I see. Wonderful thing, these new horseless buses. Good idea going

over to them.

Yes, I'm glad I thought of it, sir.

You thought of it, you idiot.

It was my idea.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir. I hope it works all right, sir.

If it doesn't work, it'll be all your idea. Do I make myself clear?

Yes, sir.

Go and get me bicycle clip, sir, and keep an eye on them and make sure it

work. I'll follow up and keep an eye on you.

Yes, sir.

Hello, love.

Hi, Mum.

Go on, you can hop on.

Hey, how about this, eh?

I don't like it.

It's like humour without all...

parcels allowed inside and let me go on top.

Oh, right. Come on, give me a hand. There we are. Give me a hand. You go.

I'm going to get your schedule.

Get your shirt on? I'm not due out for another half hour.

Oh, yes, you are, mate. You're on the new schedules now.

Right, Harper?

Right. No, that's what we're on strike about is the new schedules.

Right, Jack? No, wrong, mate. The fight's over. It's all been settled.

see, it's all been settled, so we don't have to do the new schedules, you see.

Right. No, actually, we do, actually. You see, I've agreed to the management's

reasonable request.

Yeah, I see. He's agreed to the management's reasonable task. How many?

a new schedule?

Oh, well, I'm not going to. You see, I don't have to, but you do.

Well, you see, I get time off to attend to my union duties.

What union duties?

Well, like settling disputes like this one over the new schedules.

Oh, you've settled it all right. You've settled it for yourself, you mean, you

wretch. Not all that bad. I mean, look at it this way. You'll be getting a

clippy on with you instead of me.

Oh, that's different then, yeah.

Yeah, well, don't get all that excited.

She's not all that gorgeous.

No, well, anything's better than him, the dirty rat. And I don't care what she

looks like.

Well, in that case, you won't be disappointed.

Here she is now.

Yeah, she's coming up.