Original subtitles

I'll break it. Here you are.

Right, then. Yeah, look, I... You're early.

Yeah, listen, I'll tell you... You're not due out until another half hour, are

you? Yeah, I know. Listen, just a minute.

Go on, help me.

You'll be out to take your bus out on time for a change, won't you?

I'll put that down right away, yeah.

Most of the time in ten years.

Go on, help me.

Right, then, early.

Bus out on time. Oh, God.

You got it, Dan? Yeah. Right, now, you rub it out.

Because I ain't taking the bus out.

Now, what's up now, then? My sister's getting a divorce today.

Divorce? I told you.

Her husband, Arthur, ran off with a bird last year. You know all about it. I

told you about it. The divorce comes up today, and I've got to go to court, so

I'm not taking the bus out. That's it. Now, but I'm not rearranging my bus

schedule to suit your sister's sex life.

Anyway, what's he got to do with you?

Because I've got to go to court.

Here we are. To give evidence.

You give evidence? Yeah.

But, uh, you've got a criminal face, mate.

If you give evidence, your sister won't get a divorce. She'll get six months'

hard labour.

Half her's cross -petitioning. Yeah. He's claiming cruelty.

Cruelty, I ask you. That's absolutely daft. I should know. Well, I lived with

her for ten years.

If your brother -in -law had to live with you for ten years, mate, he's got a

clear case of cruelty.

Anyway, I can't hang about here. Mum's waiting for me outside.

Oh, what's she doing here?

Well, we're catching the 1050 at the Newgate Street. That's the one that goes

past the court.

Here, Sam, Sam, come quick. Now, Mum, I've told you to wait outside. You

come in our canteen. But you told him, love. What's the matter with her? She's

had one of her terms.

You've got to go. We've been waiting six months to have this hearing.

Yes, you must go, love. If you don't get divorced, you can't get married. And

you must have your freedom while you're young and attractive.

Yes, Stan.

Why's all of you dressed like that? What's she got that veil over her face

Well, you know, we've got to impress the judge. You know, it's a solicitor's

idea.

Tommy, he's a bright bloke.

Yeah, listen, she'd better keep that veil over her face when she's in court

the judge will find out around every justification.

There,

she's got to fix her face.

Left her a bit late.

Anyway, keep the veil down.

Now, listen, calm yourself down, I'll get you a nice cup of tea.

Of course.

I can never understand how that beast walked out on her after ten years'

marriage. No.

It's just like the bathroom, isn't it? He used her.

Used her for ten years.

Then discarded her.

Mind you, I don't think he'd done much mileage.

They never did get on, did they? I can't go through with this.

Let's have this again. The judge has got to ask me all the questions.

We've been through all it. Who's got the answer to the question? Let's have a go

through it again. I've got the answer to the questions in my bag here. All nice

and tidy, they are.

Do you mean to say the solicitor's making you commit perjury?

No, this is just to make sure we've got the words right, that's all.

Now, calm yourself down and listen.

Now, the first question would be, now, explain to the judge how your husband

deliberately injured you with a sharp instrument.

Oh, yes. Yes.

Well, Your Honour, he came home for his dinner and he deliberately threw a tin

opener straight at me.

A tin opener?

Well, I bet you hadn't got his dinner ready for him.

Yes.

I'd cook him one of my special stews.

That's why he threw the tin over at her.

Took one look at the stew, he said, here, open a can of beans.

Dad, you're not going to say that in court.

Well, of course I'm not, don't I, dog?

Now, the other thing is, now, the solicitor says here, he'll ask you to

judge the scar where it pierced your stomach.

Here's his stomach.

Yes, here's his stomach. Come on, love, show the star.

But it's just... Not him. He doesn't want to see. I don't want to see. Well,

don't know. Come on. What's that you've got on?

My woolly vest.

Woolly vest?

I always wear a woolly vest.

Love it. I wonder half I left you.

How long is it the wall chain?

What are you wearing for? Keep your knees warm.

Dirt was in.

I tack it up with a bit of elastic.

Oh, there's the scar.

Have a look at that, mate.

No, thank you.

Don't be squeamish, have a look at that.

Now, if you was a judge, what would you say?

Very nasty.

That was never done with a tin opener, was it? No, she fell off a scooter when

she was a kid.

My dear, the judge won't know that, though, will he?

Perjury! Here, Olive, you've got to get that vest off.

I can't!

You've got to convince the judge you're a sexy, desirable wife, and that's not

going to be easy.

Now, get the best call. Now, go to the loo, take it all, because you won't have

time to get the call.

Here, take it by the loo. Oh, I do hope this case goes all right, because I knew

it, you know.

I knew it would end like this from the day he married her. Poor devil.

No,

all of you get a divorce today, so you're not taking it to court, you see.

you're taking me to the pictures tonight.

Well, I haven't forgotten that, have I?

I'm looking forward to telling you the truth.

Well, I hope the film's no good.

Why? Then we won't have to watch it, silly.

I hope he isn't thinking of marrying her.

He's thinking of something, but I don't think it's marriage.

I mean, him, though, he might have to the way he goes on.

I know him. He's like when he's driving one of our buses. He never knows when to

stop. Inspector!

I'll take up to you with this, darling. What are you doing here? You're supposed

to be taking out the 10, 15. It's 25, darling. What do you think you're up to?

Oh, I'm just waiting for you to give me the okay.

Well, is this for me?

Give me that, you two morons. Get the bus out, please.

Mum, that's a 10, 15.

That's the one we've got to get. You can't take that bus out.

Olive's still in the lady.

I'm not holding up one of my buses so your daughter can take off her

Come on, get the bus out. Nag, nag, nag.

I don't think it was... Come on, get the bus out.

I've already told you, mate. Oh, I'll do that.

Oh, help, help.

Oh, did you call them yet? Yeah, you can't go with that, my little Olive. She

won't get her default.

I can't help that, can I?

No, well, if she don't get to the courthouse, she won't get her

money. Olive! Olive!

Olive!

Aren't you finished yet?

I just

can't

get my bra undone.

All right, get them out.

Yeah, I've got a pen knife here. I'll have to cut them off.

Well, they're good, aren't they?

Well, get the straps on. I want the straps on.

There's one.

That one.

Where's the other one? There's the other one. There's the other one. There's the

other one. There's the other one. There's the other one. There's the other

There's the other one. There's the other one.

Put it in your

handbag. There

you are.

There. That's my pretty baby.

All ready for...

Judge? Thank God justice is blind.

Now, while we've got a few minutes, let's see if you've memorised your bit,

shall we? Oh, yes.

Right, go on. Your Honour, my daughter's husband is a sadistic, perverted beast.

She has told me how on many occasions he has asked her to do some very peculiar

things to him. I like the way you said that, Mum. It's good.

They'll put you in the box and the judge will want to know what peculiar things.

Now, what are you going to say? Go on. I feel silly telling you.

What do you mean, silly?

Tell him me.

You idiot. If you're going to tell him, you can tell me, can't you? Go on, away

you go. Well, he wanted me to bite him. He wanted you to bite... Where's that?

That's not down here.

Oh, well, it was so embarrassing, Stan.

Every time I went to bite him, my...

Don't say that. The judge, you say, forced you against your will.

How disgusting.

Ian, was it more than once?

Oh, yes.

It went on until the night my glasses fell off.

What happened then?

I bit him in the wrong place.

He was never the same after that.

Get your divorce out.

Good night, darling.

In half an hour's time, it'll all be behind you. You'll come out to be a free

woman. Yes, Mum's right. You'll come out smiling.

You'll be a new woman. Yes, you'll come out dancing, young and single again.

Oh, dear, oh, dear.

Have you got your divorce?

Or for God's sake, dry up. Well, there'll be a train waiting in there for

hours. And we missed our tea.

Oh, so that's why she's crying.

Stay. Well, she got a divorce, what more does she want?

sake dry up, will you?

You got your divorce, that's what you wanted, isn't it?

Yeah,

I'll tell you what, love. Here, have a nice piece of cake.

There.

There's a good girl.

Well, I must be off.

Off? Where are you going to, Mum?

Well, it's Thursday, love.

I must go to Aunt Maud's on Thursday.

Oh, of course you do. Yeah, that's right. Why now?

Why don't you come with Mum to Aunt Maud's? What a good idea.

Oh, no, I don't want to go to Aunt Maud's. She'll make me go through the

again. I don't think it's fair to go.

That's all right.

If you don't want to go, you don't have to go.

Dan's home this evening.

He'll look after you. No, no, no, I'm not. No,

I'm taking Sandra to the pictures.

But you can't go to the pictures. I know.

Take all of them with you.

She won't want to go to the pictures like that.

You don't want to go to the pictures, do you?

It's not a funny picture.

Oh, well, good. I don't think I'm in the mood for a funny picture today.

Oh, good.

Well, that's all settled then.

It'll be just like old times.

You and Olive going everywhere together.

Everywhere?

Yes. Now she's got a divorce, she's got her freedom.

And mine's gone for a Burton.

Oh, that's good. The picture ain't started yet.

We're just in time.

Now, what's the matter?

Do we have to have your sister next to us? Shh, keep your voice down.

Well, I couldn't leave her at home, could I?

Look, when the lights go down, you won't even know she's here.

Dad! Dad!

I just spoke too quick.

Here's your mince you asked for.

What have you got all that for?

I don't want anything to eat.

Well, I can't enjoy a film unless I've got a little something to eat.

This woman who gets a divorce because her husband goes off with another

Wait! Oh, I don't want to see that. I don't want to go on. No, no, it's all

right. It ends up all right in the end. It is about this bird that gets a

divorce, but you see, she gets all these fellas chasing her.

All divorce birds do.

Did I?

I'd sit in the front.

Oh, no, I wouldn't want to leave you, Stan.

I didn't think you would.

Stan!

Stan! Oh, Stan!

Cheeky!

I didn't want to do that.

That woman's got nothing on.

That's a man!

to do it for me.

I bet that's the only thing he ever did do for you.

Stop making that revolting noise.

We're going to sit up there.

started on you. He touched me. I felt his hand move.

He touched you? What are you talking about?

What man?

That man.

He's gone.

You're gone? Out of your mind.

You're dreaming.

Oh, I'm not dreaming, son. I'm so scared. Let me hold on to you for the

the picture.

That's it. Might as well be on my own.

Marvellous, eh?

You come to the pictures and you have to watch the film.

I haven't seen a film all the way through for ages.

When I go to the pictures with a fella, I don't usually get the chance.

It wasn't my fault, was it?

Have another drink. Come on.

Same again.

Sam. Sam.

What? We're not going to stay here all evening, are we?

Well, I don't know. Why?

Well, there's nobody at my place.

We'll be on our own.

On our own?

Oh. Don't you want to?

Well, yeah, but... What about Ollie? She can find her own way home. Yeah.

Well, you're all right, aren't you?

Olive, Olive, love, Sandra's not feeling too well.

And I said I'd see her home, and as it's miles out of our way, you don't mind

going home on your own, do you? Oh, no, Stan, I wouldn't want to go on my own,

not after what happened in the pictures. I don't mind coming with you, really.

Oh.

Sandra, I can't very well... I can't leave her. Oh, well, forget the

old thing.

No, no, don't. I'll think of something.

Hey, Jack, Jack.

Yeah? You, uh, you... Hang on a minute. Yeah? You go past my house. Yeah?

See Olive home for us?

Yeah, do you mind?

Mate, do us a favour.

Oh, sorry, mate, you're too late.

Betty's already promised to do me a favour.

That's on me going home.

Oh, you see, I'm in the same boat, you see.

Sarah's asked me back to her place, nobody's there, and I'm... I'm lumbered

Olive. Oh, well, listen, mate, there must be somebody eating lumber.

Oh, don't be daft. No!

Hello, Blackie.

Oh, look, boy. Hey, am I pleased to see you.

I'm not buying you a drink.

No, I don't want you to.

Let me get you a drink.

What's the catch?

No, it's not a catch. It's just generally pleased to see you.

You're drunk.

No, I'm not. Have a drink. You're after something, aren't you? What?

Yeah, yeah.

No, not from you.

Go on, have a drink with me. Go on.

I'll have a whiskey, then.

All right, then. Have a large one.

Hey, Elsie, love, when you get time, Mr.

Blake, give him a nice large scotch. The money.

I must be dreaming.

Come and join us, will you? Yeah.

Yeah. I've got my sister Oliver here.

Oh.

I'd better stay over here. See, I'll only be having one drink and then I'll

going home early. Oh, you're going, are you?

Yeah. Oh, yes, sir. Are you walking?

Yes, I always do, don't I? Oh, yeah. You go right past my house. Yeah, right

past.

Well,

listen, when you... I'll tell you why. When you get your drink, come and join

because Olive's got a divorce and... Oh, you got away with your perjury then,

did you?

What we're trying to do, Blake, is sort of try and cheer her up, see?

So when you get your drink, come and join us. Do us a favour, eh?

All for a load of scotch. All right.

Yes, all right.

Sandra.

Olive, love.

Inspector Blake's offered to take you home.

Oh, honey. nice of him. Yeah, so when he arrives, I'll be taking the chandelier

back, see?

Oh, all right, Sam.

Wish you better.

See you at the door, Sam. Yes, I will, yes.

Blakey, sit down here. Sit down here, Blakey.

Hi, lads.

Hello.

I'm glad to hear that you've won your case.

Oh, thank you very much.

Of course, I'm not used to divorce yet.

Yeah, you will be. At least you're free.

Excuse me a minute, I've just got a word with Jack.

You are a very kind man, Mr Blake.

Eh?

Oh, thank you very much.

I'm ready whenever you are.

You're not too tired, are you?

Tired? Well, you will be going all the way with me, won't you?

All the way?

Who's your brother called? He's gone.

Gone? Yeah, when you offered to take me home, he went off. Oh, good.

What's Butler up to?

He told his sister, I'm going to see her home now. He's lumbered me with her.

Yeah, well, I hope you'll both be very happy. He's lumbered me with her.

going to do? Listen, what are you grumbling about? Now, look, you're a

fella. Get stuck in, mate.

You literate moron, you.

Listen, look, she's only been divorced a few hours.

You can have the first crack.

Look,

it's about time you found out there was more in life than buses.

What you got that for? Me alarm clock.

Oh, it's 84 past 11, just before me mum gets back.

Well, I say, got it all worked out, haven't you? Yeah, well, come on.

You haven't got all night.

Oh, well, it's... It only gives us an hour and a half.

Oh, Mr Blake, I just remembered.

I haven't got a key.

I won't be able to get in.

Oh? Oh, it's all right, Stan.

has got one. But he went all for Sandra.

What?

Sandra the clippy?

Yeah.

Oh, is she?

Yeah.

She only lives around the corner.

Let's come and get it.

Oh, is he interrupting?

Yeah.

Yes, I do.

That's not the alarm clock already, is it? No, it's the front door.

I'll have to get rid of them whoever it is.

I think I'm in the market here.

It doesn't work the cards, does it?

Did you get rid of him, darling?

No, sweetheart.

Blakey, I thought you were seeing Olive home. Yeah, well, she got off and she

realised that you had the key.

Now you can see her home, mate. Go on.

It's cold outside, but you oughtn't feel cold, should you? Do you? You've got to

cool down a bit, I'll tell you, mate.

It's made my day, this is.

writing stand we went nearly all the way and just as we were all