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1
00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:09,500
You're going to see it. Can't you see
they're going the fastest?
2
00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:11,340
I'm pushing eight miles an hour.
3
00:00:13,820 --> 00:00:15,760
Well, thank you for picking me up from
the airport.
4
00:00:16,020 --> 00:00:19,640
You know, I just get so discombobulated
trying to find my way around this big
5
00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:20,640
old windy city.
6
00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:23,200
Well, I can help, Merle. But why are the
luggage?
7
00:00:23,900 --> 00:00:25,900
I am staying for the entire weekend.
8
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:29,180
So what brings you to Shire County, sir?
9
00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:33,840
I am hell -bent on claiming Edward
Winslow as my own.
10
00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:35,460
Oh, fucking my...
11
00:02:13,660 --> 00:02:19,460
baby. How is the love of my life, huh?
12
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:25,440
Why are you so happy? Am I happy? I
guess I am happy.
13
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,360
Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy.
14
00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:30,140
Well, did you get raised?
15
00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:33,600
No. I got rejuvenated.
16
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,920
I finally took your advice and got one
of those therapeutic massages.
17
00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:41,740
Ten minutes ago, I was sitting pretty in
Shiatsu City.
18
00:02:43,180 --> 00:02:45,040
Well, you're feeling good.
19
00:02:45,380 --> 00:02:48,420
Oh, baby, I am a new man.
20
00:02:50,140 --> 00:02:56,520
Ariana poked, prodded, and pounded all
of my stress away. Oh, that's great,
21
00:02:56,640 --> 00:02:57,640
honey.
22
00:02:57,820 --> 00:02:58,820
Ariana?
23
00:03:01,420 --> 00:03:03,100
Yeah, my masseuse.
24
00:03:03,340 --> 00:03:05,260
Ah, is she attractive?
25
00:03:07,290 --> 00:03:08,450
No. No.
26
00:03:10,370 --> 00:03:11,670
Just the opposite.
27
00:03:12,030 --> 00:03:13,030
Mm -hmm.
28
00:03:13,470 --> 00:03:14,930
Big, beefy sister.
29
00:03:17,630 --> 00:03:18,630
Swollen.
30
00:03:19,570 --> 00:03:20,850
With a wanky eye.
31
00:03:22,810 --> 00:03:24,390
Hey, family, what's up? Hey.
32
00:03:29,870 --> 00:03:30,870
You miss me?
33
00:03:31,170 --> 00:03:32,170
Miss you?
34
00:03:32,550 --> 00:03:35,610
How can we miss you? Been over here
every day since you moved out.
35
00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:42,040
Don't you pay any attention to your
father. I missed you, baby. Oh, that's
36
00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:45,660
right. And you know the reason I'm
always over here is because I miss my
37
00:03:45,780 --> 00:03:46,780
Yeah.
38
00:03:48,380 --> 00:03:50,340
And you want me to do your laundry.
39
00:03:51,020 --> 00:03:52,020
Please?
40
00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:56,760
All right, Eddie. But from now on,
you're going to do your own laundry,
41
00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:57,760
Nah, thanks, Mom.
42
00:03:57,780 --> 00:04:01,000
Oh, Mom, don't forget the fabric
softener. You know, it makes my shirt
43
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,480
sweet and springtime fresh.
44
00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:15,160
We've been springtime fresh.
45
00:04:15,780 --> 00:04:17,420
Y 'all must be talking about me.
46
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:22,640
Quick, somebody call the zoo. The water
buffalo broke loose.
47
00:04:24,260 --> 00:04:26,240
Oh, now, Eddie, be nice.
48
00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:30,700
Mama, I am being nice. I was going to
say, quick, somebody call the news. They
49
00:04:30,700 --> 00:04:31,980
just had a Bigfoot sighting.
50
00:04:33,860 --> 00:04:35,040
But I held back.
51
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:39,580
Well, I ain't holding back, you big old
squeeze bottle of hum...
52
00:05:37,770 --> 00:05:38,770
I can't sleep.
53
00:05:38,790 --> 00:05:41,670
For some reason, Mr. Sandman has ignored
me tonight.
54
00:05:42,950 --> 00:05:44,390
Well, it's only 7 .30.
55
00:05:44,750 --> 00:05:46,310
Oh, well, I'm depressed.
56
00:05:48,030 --> 00:05:50,990
I'm a Mississippi queen sleeping all
alone.
57
00:06:28,940 --> 00:06:30,320
Oh, sure, I know what you were thinking.
58
00:06:30,740 --> 00:06:33,640
I'm just another carefree and incredibly
pretty rich girl.
59
00:07:41,550 --> 00:07:44,250
to make a few incy wincy changes.
60
00:07:45,930 --> 00:07:46,930
What do you suggest?
61
00:07:47,170 --> 00:07:48,170
Head to toe makeover.
62
00:07:51,190 --> 00:07:52,190
Oh, mercy.
63
00:07:53,110 --> 00:07:55,250
Would you help me? Oh, I thought you'd
never ask.
64
00:08:22,030 --> 00:08:23,110
one who shops here is fly.
65
00:08:23,610 --> 00:08:25,590
Why don't you look around and see what
grabs you?
66
00:08:26,150 --> 00:08:27,150
Okay.
67
00:09:02,090 --> 00:09:03,090
girl names like that.
68
00:09:04,830 --> 00:09:07,370
Myrtle? How about this one? It's half
off.
69
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:08,630
No wonder.
70
00:09:08,830 --> 00:09:09,910
It's only half a dress.
71
00:09:12,190 --> 00:09:13,190
Besides,
72
00:09:13,330 --> 00:09:14,710
no one would look good in that rag.
73
00:09:16,630 --> 00:09:18,190
Unless you're a Gucci mama.
74
00:09:28,770 --> 00:09:31,450
Myrtle, if you want to tell some cake...
75
00:09:31,690 --> 00:09:32,950
Baby, you've got to put on some icing.
76
00:09:33,270 --> 00:09:35,470
Oh, you're so naughty.
77
00:09:39,490 --> 00:09:43,430
Now, the trick to looking good is to
accentuate your best features.
78
00:09:43,650 --> 00:09:44,589
Oh, yes.
79
00:09:44,590 --> 00:09:51,330
And that would be... Actually, murder,
you have nice legs.
80
00:09:51,710 --> 00:09:53,570
Oh, a miniskirt would show them off.
81
00:09:54,330 --> 00:09:55,330
Work it, girl.
82
00:11:07,850 --> 00:11:10,910
He moved. Oh, actually, I'm looking for
Captain Carl.
83
00:11:12,810 --> 00:11:13,830
Captain Carl.
84
00:11:14,190 --> 00:11:16,010
Oh, I'm sorry.
85
00:11:16,330 --> 00:11:18,430
That's just my little nickname for him.
86
00:11:18,650 --> 00:11:20,950
Actually, his name is Carl Winslow.
87
00:11:22,530 --> 00:11:23,570
Are you the maid?
88
00:11:26,790 --> 00:11:27,870
No, sweetie.
89
00:11:28,070 --> 00:11:29,070
I'm the wife.
90
00:11:29,670 --> 00:11:30,870
Admiral Harriet.
91
00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:43,600
therapeutic reflexologist.
92
00:11:44,380 --> 00:11:45,760
After all, I am a professional.
93
00:11:46,780 --> 00:11:47,940
I bet you are.
94
00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:51,780
Well, now, how can I help you, Ariana?
95
00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:54,820
Oh, well, I just came by to return the
captain's credit card.
96
00:11:55,180 --> 00:11:58,980
I guess he was feeling so good when I
finished with him, he just floated home
97
00:11:58,980 --> 00:11:59,980
without it.
98
00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:02,920
Thank you so much.
99
00:12:39,820 --> 00:12:45,300
That's a little nickname due to the fact
that I'm a, you know, I'm a... Captain.
100
00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:52,680
And that my name is, you know, you know,
my name is... Carl!
101
00:12:53,700 --> 00:12:57,720
Well, the interesting thing is, Carl,
when I ask you what she looked like, you
102
00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:59,980
use the phrase, big, beefy sister.
103
00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:03,060
Well, now, you see, you misunderstood.
104
00:13:03,780 --> 00:13:04,780
Mm -hmm.
105
00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:07,380
Yep, you did. See, because what I said
was...
106
00:13:07,580 --> 00:13:09,380
that she had a big, beefy sister.
107
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:10,640
That's what I said.
108
00:13:10,700 --> 00:13:14,080
You said she was swollen and had a wanky
eye.
109
00:13:16,140 --> 00:13:17,280
Well, you see, no.
110
00:13:18,140 --> 00:13:21,640
No, I didn't say that. You see, what I
said was she went bowling and she had
111
00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:23,700
some swanky potty served at her bowling
house.
112
00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:29,920
Okay,
113
00:13:32,780 --> 00:13:33,780
Harry, I lied.
114
00:13:36,680 --> 00:13:43,320
figured if i told you that you wouldn't
let her rub on me anymore well carl
115
00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:49,740
you're right but harriet you know she
really is a good masseuse i mean
116
00:13:49,740 --> 00:13:56,300
my back never felt better and our health
insurance covers 10 of it and the fact
117
00:13:56,300 --> 00:13:59,220
that she's attractive doesn't matter nah
118
00:14:05,450 --> 00:14:10,690
you a terrific masseuse who really is
swollen and has a wanky eye.
119
00:14:12,370 --> 00:14:13,370
Steve,
120
00:14:25,310 --> 00:14:26,830
come on. We're going to be late for the
movies.
121
00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:29,410
I'm ready.
122
00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:31,170
What's in the basket?
123
00:14:31,390 --> 00:14:32,390
Oh, just a few snacks.
124
00:14:33,130 --> 00:14:34,530
Let's see what we got here.
125
00:14:36,290 --> 00:14:37,290
Badger chips.
126
00:14:38,850 --> 00:14:40,730
A fresh jar of squid jelly.
127
00:14:41,950 --> 00:14:46,890
Ooh, and lastly, a weasel dog.
128
00:14:48,710 --> 00:14:52,630
Woo, woo, woo, woo, baby, baby, baby.
129
00:14:55,130 --> 00:14:59,930
Is the code clear?
130
00:15:00,230 --> 00:15:03,930
If you're wondering where Myrtle is,
she's upstairs, and she's got a big
131
00:15:03,930 --> 00:15:04,930
surprise for you.
132
00:15:05,110 --> 00:15:05,789
Uh -oh.
133
00:15:05,790 --> 00:15:06,789
Not for me.
134
00:15:06,790 --> 00:15:10,510
I'm sneaking into the laundry room, I'm
getting my clothes, and I'm outtie.
135
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:15,070
Well, I hope you're not getting any
cologne, because Myrtle has a nose like
136
00:15:15,070 --> 00:15:16,049
boy would have.
137
00:15:16,050 --> 00:15:17,750
Yeah, and a face to match.
138
00:19:03,820 --> 00:19:04,820
Don't cry for me, Eddie Winslow.
139
00:19:11,140 --> 00:19:15,280
My heart may be broken, but it will
heal.
140
00:19:15,860 --> 00:19:18,960
Because there is a whole world of men
out there.
141
00:19:19,340 --> 00:19:23,820
And I'm going to find me one that's
going to love me the way I deserve to be
142
00:19:23,820 --> 00:19:24,820
loved.
143
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:30,480
Myrtle? Myrtle?
144
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:34,460
So, this means that... You're not going
to chase me anymore?
145
00:19:34,980 --> 00:19:40,180
No. And you're not going to buy me
expensive gifts or have me followed?
146
00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:42,500
No.
147
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:43,640
Wait, wait, wait.
148
00:19:43,700 --> 00:19:46,320
You mean that it's really truly over?
149
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:48,080
That's right.
150
00:19:48,900 --> 00:19:49,900
Oh.
151
00:19:50,140 --> 00:19:55,960
Well, Myrtle, what's my life going to be
like without you in it?
152
00:19:57,180 --> 00:19:59,580
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
153
00:20:18,670 --> 00:20:24,230
Walking down the street, pretty woman,
kind of like to me.
11337
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