Original subtitles

This place is wonderful.

I'm going to have fun, Harriet.

I'm going to have fun.

Thank you for coming to Amateur Inventor's Concert Final.

I blew a bigulating rebobulator.

It might have gotten damaged in the shipping.

Very well.

We will postpone our decision for three days.

Hey, Waldo, how much further to Orlando?

I don't know.

We're coming up on a little town called Kenyatta.

That's not Kenyatta.

That's Canada.

Yes, man, you've been driving the wrong way for the past four hours.

I was, uh... You were the son.

The rain and the wind that flowers my soul.

I love you more than life itself.

Will you marry me?

Yes,

I will.

Something's wrong with Steven.

It's a rare condition this day and age to read any good news on the newspaper

page. A loving tradition of the grand design.

Some people say it's even harder to find.

Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.

It's all I see.

It's a tower of dreams. Real love bursting out of every scene.

I say goodbye.

It's the bigger love of the band.

at the mustard now, does it, buddy boy?

Well, how come he's not in his room?

You don't know?

What kind of Mickey Mouse place are you people running, huh?

No, this is not a cray call.

Mommy! Mommy!

Honey, what's wrong?

Mommy, I'm not happy.

I called Stephen and he wasn't in his hotel room.

I'm going to Orlando immediately.

So, how you doing?

Great. The smile on my face never lies.

How about you?

Hey, you're you. There is no thief.

Life is good.

It's good to see you're in a good mood.

Because I have something very important to discuss with you. Oh, well, lay it on

me.

Oh, Carl, last night I proposed to Lauren.

What? And she accepted.

What?

Carl, will you make me the happiest man in the world and the happiest place on

earth and give me your daughter's hand in marriage?

Laura, my baby girl, get married?

I promise, Carl. I'll love your daughter forever.

And she'll never want for anything.

Geez, Stephon, I still don't know.

I'm going to need some time to think about this. And I'm also going to have

discuss this with Harriet.

Hey, I understand.

You're an old -fashioned, yet 90s kind of guy.

Thanks for giving me a ride. I really appreciate it.

Hey, if I can make your stay on Earth happier, I've done my job.

Eddie, where is your baby?

Hi, Eddie. I'm India.

India. Such a lovely name for a lovely lady.

Thank you. My real name is Becky, but I went to India and loved it so much, I

just changed my name.

You're lucky you didn't go to Turkey.

And what's your name?

Waldo.

Want some summer sausage?

I don't eat meat.

Why not?

I have nothing to do with the slaughter of God's creatures.

Right. And I suppose that vest is fake cap.

India, where you headed?

I don't really know.

I just followed the wind.

If we're going to follow the wind, we should be going backwards.

Carl, I can't believe my little girl wants to get married.

Oh, sweetheart.

When we got married, you were just a year older than Laura.

Yeah, but you had a good apartment, and I was tired of taking the bus.

Welcome to the Tower of Terror.

This is the tenth time I've been on this today.

That's a record, huh?

No. The record is 15.

Who did that?

The person sitting next to you.

Goodbye.

It's been nice knowing you.

Hold my hand, Tom.

Don't worry, sweetheart. I got you. Ooh, I love Disney World.

I feel like we could stay long.

Hey, you know what's real interesting? You should say that, Rachel.

Because this place is weaving its magic spell on me.

I'm a new man.

For the first time in years, I am completely happy and relaxed.

Let's break up.

Yes. You haven't yelled at anyone since we got here.

Guys, as head of this family, I have come to a decision.

What's that?

I'm quitting the fort.

What? I am selling the house.

Look at that incredible lake.

Yeah.

Looks inviting, huh?

Every time I see a lake, I just have to go skinny dipping.

What

happened?

What happened?

We're going swimming.

Cool, I'll unpack my trucks.

No, no, no, you don't need this.

We're going skinny, dude.

You want me to get naked in front of a vegetarian?

Wonderful. You're very gifted, Vincenzo.

But I'm afraid not even you can capture the fullness of her beauty.

Oh, Stefan.

Thank you.

Thank you, Stefan.

This has been a perfect day.

Not yet.

It's a perfect day.

It's a perfect day.

Myra!

Hi, Laura.

Where's Steven?

How come you're not Steven?

I can explain, Myra.

Come on.

Myra, Laura and I are engaged to be married.

I'm sorry. I thought you said you and Laura were engaged.

I did.

Myra, I'm sorry, but I'm never going to turn into Steve Urkel again.

Never?

You mean...

I'm afraid not.

This is the

saddest day of my entire life.

Myra, I'm so sorry.

Glad you feel that way, sweetheart.

What made you change your mind?

Oh, that call from Captain Savage.

Oh.

What call?

Oh, I'm sorry.

That was your old life. You're not interested in police work anymore.

Well, what did he say?

Let's see.

It was something about that guy you busted.

The head of the car theft ring.

Ricky Turner?

Yes, that's it.

They're letting him out of jail. Something about technicality.

What?

What?

How come?

Well, Captain Savage said I had to do something with a missing court order for

wiretap.

But I got the wiretap from Judge Fowler.

Man, you go away from the department for a few days and everything just falls

apart. Well, why are you so upset?

You quit. You don't have to worry about that stuff anymore.

We're moving to the most magical place on Earth. Right, Carl?

Yeah, right.

me in Chicago.

You just don't walk away from something that you put your whole life into.

You should know that. But you said that we were all... Harriet, I am a man of

action. And as much as I love it here, I've got to get back home.

But, Carl, we all... Don't argue with me, Harriet. I have made my decision,

that is it.

Okay.

If that's what you want. You bet that's what I want.

Now, if you will excuse me, I'm going to go call Captain Savage and straighten

this whole thing out.

You don't need to do that.

Why not?

Because I made the whole thing up.

Harry, it's all right.

Laura, what's wrong?

I feel bad about Myra.

You have a good heart, my lady love.

And I feel bad for her, too.

But we deserve our happiness.

Whatever our happiness was, it's honest.

Well, what are you talking about?

Well... It wasn't an accident that something went wrong with the

chamber.

I sabotaged it.

You did what?

Well, I didn't plan it. It's just that when I saw you coming out of that

looking all fine and feeling all good and stuff,

I just couldn't bear the thought of losing you again.

Yeah, but, Laura, what you did was wrong. I know.

Please don't hate me.

I don't hate you.

I love you.

Look, maybe it's not important how we got together.

Maybe the only important thing is that we are together.

But... Our life together won't be happy if it's based on a lie.

You gotta fix the chamber and turn back into thieves.

Wait, what are you saying? I mean...

In just a few moments, Mr.

Urquell will attempt to complete his transformation experiment.

I'm stoked.

Well, listen, Laura.

I just want you to know I will always love you.

And even though I might be gone, you will always have my heart.

Come on, what is this? The young and the restless? Get on with it. This man is

stoked.

Mr. Urkel, all we need is a lock of your hair to prove that you and Stéphane

Urquel are indeed two different people.

No, that won't be necessary. I'm withdrawing from the contest.

This is an outrage!

You are an embarrassment to science, technology, and pants.

You're a fraud!

I am no fraud.

My information chamber works.

I'm withdrawing from this contest because mankind isn't ready for it. The

to change human genetic structure is too easily abused.

If one of the most wonderful people in the world had been tempted to misuse my

chamber, I'd just imagine what ordinary mortals might be.

Wow.

A man of morals.

Wonderful.

Well, in that case, ladies and gentlemen, the winner of

this year's National Amateur Inventors Contest Finals is... Zorli

Rasmussen.

I don't believe this. I really don't believe this. We wait three days for

this nasally nerd to fix his cockamamie.

phone booth, and then you give the first prize to that babbling bimbo?

Babbling? What?

Well,

until next year,

so long, everybody. And remember, science is our buddy.

you loved so fine.

And you made a tremendous sacrifice in giving him up.

Thanks, Steve.

You know, I have a confession to make.

How is that?

Well, I kind of like having you back.

I actually sort of kind of missed you.

Production services for Family Matters provided by Disney MGM Studios in

Florida.