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1
00:00:05,670 --> 00:00:09,210
Attention shoppers, Steve Urkel is about
to enter the mall.
2
00:00:09,430 --> 00:00:12,990
I repeat, Steve Urkel is entering the
mall.
3
00:01:01,740 --> 00:01:07,840
It's a rare condition this day and age
to read any good news on the newspaper
4
00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:14,000
page. And love and tradition of the
grand design, some people say it's even
5
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,200
harder to find.
6
00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:22,260
Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these gentle walls.
7
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:30,420
Because all I see is a tower of dreams,
real love bursting out of every scene.
8
00:01:35,950 --> 00:01:38,790
It's the bigger love of the family.
9
00:01:46,610 --> 00:01:50,890
David's Bridal announces a $99 gown
sale.
10
00:02:06,030 --> 00:02:08,889
Kids, always watching music videos.
11
00:03:04,270 --> 00:03:05,270
We still got it, babe.
12
00:03:05,450 --> 00:03:07,190
Yes, just in different places.
13
00:03:08,830 --> 00:03:09,830
Hey, wait a minute.
14
00:03:10,050 --> 00:03:11,390
Why are you all dressed up like that?
15
00:03:11,810 --> 00:03:14,870
Well, the employment agency called me
and I've got a job interview.
16
00:03:15,370 --> 00:03:17,010
Well, I hope it's better than your last
job.
17
00:03:17,570 --> 00:03:18,570
Proofreading M &Ms.
18
00:03:21,530 --> 00:03:22,509
Me too.
19
00:03:22,510 --> 00:03:24,510
And listen, while I'm gone, you're going
to have to watch Richie.
20
00:03:25,070 --> 00:03:27,650
Oh, Harriet, come on. Now this is my day
off.
21
00:03:28,430 --> 00:03:30,090
Why can't Eddie or Laura babysit?
22
00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:31,289
They're at the mall.
23
00:03:31,290 --> 00:03:32,610
Well, they're always at the mall.
24
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,540
Why doesn't everybody in this house just
move into the mall?
25
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,100
Oh, Carl, calm down.
26
00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:38,359
I know.
27
00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:41,520
I'll call my mother to babysit. She
can't. Why not? She's at the mall.
28
00:03:44,820 --> 00:03:46,120
Hi, Harriet. Hi, sweetie.
29
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,260
Uncle Carl, this is Little G.
30
00:03:48,660 --> 00:03:49,740
He's new to the hood.
31
00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:51,180
Well, hello, Little G.
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00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:16,209
When you guys get your new uniforms,
what are you going to do with the old
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00:04:17,550 --> 00:04:18,550
Toss them, I guess.
34
00:04:18,870 --> 00:04:19,870
That's wasteful.
35
00:04:20,550 --> 00:04:22,050
You should give them to the homeless
cheerleaders.
36
00:04:28,330 --> 00:04:29,370
Hi, how much are your tickets?
37
00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:30,890
Hi, um, they're a dollar.
38
00:04:31,170 --> 00:04:32,750
But a book of ten is only nine dollars.
39
00:04:33,390 --> 00:04:34,390
Okay, I'll take a book.
40
00:04:43,820 --> 00:04:44,739
That's my girlfriend.
41
00:04:44,740 --> 00:04:47,620
And if you smile at her one more time,
we're going to have to play rip the nose
42
00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:48,620
off pretty boy.
43
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,080
Oh, I'm shaking.
44
00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:55,080
Hey, I don't care what religion you are.
45
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:00,400
Scram.
46
00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:07,880
Waldo, stop being so jealous.
47
00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,840
I have a right to be jealous. That fancy
pants was flirting with you.
48
00:05:11,310 --> 00:05:13,770
He wasn't flirting with me. He smiled at
me.
49
00:05:14,410 --> 00:05:15,410
Oh, please.
50
00:05:15,530 --> 00:05:19,590
Think, Max. When you rearrange the
letters and smile, you get the word lies
51
00:05:19,590 --> 00:05:20,590
I am left over.
52
00:05:24,410 --> 00:05:25,850
Sometimes he worries me.
53
00:05:47,500 --> 00:05:48,540
Do you like my dress?
54
00:05:49,700 --> 00:05:50,700
Uh -huh.
55
00:05:52,380 --> 00:05:54,940
It's on sale. Just $49 .95.
56
00:05:55,260 --> 00:05:56,260
It's Spoon.
57
00:05:57,860 --> 00:05:58,860
Spoon?
58
00:06:00,780 --> 00:06:04,300
Yes, that's S -P -O -O.
59
00:06:10,180 --> 00:06:11,440
She wants you, man.
60
00:06:12,820 --> 00:06:15,140
What? She's too old for me.
61
00:06:15,610 --> 00:06:16,690
So learn from your elders.
62
00:06:16,930 --> 00:06:17,930
Why don't you do some tango?
63
00:06:19,950 --> 00:06:20,950
Hmm.
64
00:06:21,150 --> 00:06:25,450
Well, she did kind of give me a little
look when she said, spools.
65
00:06:27,350 --> 00:06:30,470
Yeah, I saw that look. It melted the
elastic in my underpants.
66
00:06:32,570 --> 00:06:34,170
Hi, my little wraparounder.
67
00:06:34,890 --> 00:06:36,250
Oh, Joy, it's Steve.
68
00:06:37,490 --> 00:06:40,710
Now, I'm having a little problem with
Myra.
69
00:06:40,970 --> 00:06:42,090
Well, what's wrong now?
70
00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:45,170
That new viral wench is a mother...
71
00:06:46,250 --> 00:06:49,290
Your wife, she follows me around like
I'm a sick puppy.
72
00:06:49,730 --> 00:06:51,010
What should I do, Laura?
73
00:06:51,710 --> 00:06:53,010
Just do what I do to you.
74
00:06:53,410 --> 00:06:54,410
Ignore.
75
00:06:55,150 --> 00:06:56,790
Well, obviously that doesn't work.
76
00:06:58,250 --> 00:07:01,890
Well, okay, then just tell us the truth.
You're too young to get so serious. You
77
00:07:01,890 --> 00:07:02,890
need a little space.
78
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:04,790
Ah, the truth, huh?
79
00:07:05,950 --> 00:07:06,950
Hmm.
80
00:07:07,530 --> 00:07:08,990
That's just crazy enough to watch.
81
00:07:48,330 --> 00:07:49,330
water guns?
82
00:07:49,930 --> 00:07:52,530
Don't shoot them in the house and only
get Eddie wet.
83
00:07:53,450 --> 00:07:54,450
Right.
84
00:07:54,670 --> 00:07:56,730
Now, why don't you two go do something
dry?
85
00:07:59,070 --> 00:08:01,590
We're bored, Uncle Carl. We want you to
play with us.
86
00:08:02,470 --> 00:08:04,670
Well, what do you want to do? Want to go
role -playing?
87
00:08:04,890 --> 00:08:07,410
No. Want to play soccer? No. Want to
shoot some hoops? No.
88
00:08:07,850 --> 00:08:09,210
Don't you want to do anything?
89
00:08:09,450 --> 00:08:11,070
Sure. Come up with something.
90
00:08:13,450 --> 00:08:16,230
I bet you just want to plop on the couch
and watch TV.
91
00:08:19,980 --> 00:08:21,060
Okay, you win.
92
00:08:22,980 --> 00:08:23,980
Ow!
93
00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:25,800
What's the matter?
94
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,300
It... It... It's my back.
95
00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:31,160
Does it hurt?
96
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,140
Well, let's see.
97
00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:41,840
I'm sorry, guys.
98
00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:44,240
Looks like I'm not going to be able to
play with you.
99
00:08:54,410 --> 00:08:57,170
And little Richie, would you hand me
that clicker, please? Okay.
100
00:08:57,650 --> 00:08:58,650
Thanks.
101
00:09:00,830 --> 00:09:01,830
Oh! Ah.
102
00:09:02,350 --> 00:09:03,269
Oh, yeah.
103
00:09:03,270 --> 00:09:04,270
Real bad.
104
00:09:04,450 --> 00:09:05,450
Stinging pain.
105
00:09:05,770 --> 00:09:06,770
Really?
106
00:09:07,810 --> 00:09:08,810
I'm good.
107
00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:15,470
Stevie Poo?
108
00:09:16,050 --> 00:09:17,050
Yes, A -Poo.
109
00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:22,950
Well, we've been seeing each other for a
while now, and don't you think it's...
110
00:09:22,990 --> 00:09:24,330
time that you made a commitment to me?
111
00:09:25,030 --> 00:09:26,350
Well, I believe I have.
112
00:09:26,630 --> 00:09:28,850
I let you buff your car with my old
boxer shorts.
113
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:32,550
Yes, and my head is still spinning.
114
00:09:34,150 --> 00:09:38,330
Actually, I was hoping that we could go
steady.
115
00:09:40,350 --> 00:09:41,510
Steady? Yes.
116
00:09:42,010 --> 00:09:46,210
So if you wanted to get your ring or an
ID bracelet, I'd be willing to pay for
117
00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:47,210
it.
118
00:10:19,050 --> 00:10:22,030
Maybe we could sort of see other people
for a while.
119
00:10:23,550 --> 00:10:24,550
Steven?
120
00:10:25,130 --> 00:10:26,130
Steven,
121
00:10:27,250 --> 00:10:28,250
I don't understand.
122
00:10:28,590 --> 00:10:32,370
What's wrong with me? I'm not smart
enough? Oh, no, it's not that. Oh,
123
00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:33,370
brilliant.
124
00:10:35,370 --> 00:10:36,550
I'm not pretty enough?
125
00:10:36,790 --> 00:10:40,130
Oh, no, you're gorgeous. Why, haven't
you noticed the way middle -aged men
126
00:10:40,130 --> 00:10:41,130
at you?
127
00:11:14,410 --> 00:11:15,410
is what you get.
128
00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:54,660
Sweetheart, I'll tell you what.
129
00:11:55,020 --> 00:11:56,640
I'm going to buy a whole book of those
tickets.
130
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,200
Thanks. But I'll buy two books if you'll
go out with me.
131
00:12:06,380 --> 00:12:07,380
Uh -huh.
132
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:09,360
Who are you?
133
00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:11,040
I'm her steady, Freddy. Oh, yeah?
134
00:12:11,380 --> 00:12:12,380
Says who?
135
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:13,920
Don't make me get out of this trash can.
136
00:12:15,620 --> 00:12:19,100
Look, you'd better go. He's very
jealous. She's also crazy.
137
00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:21,000
Crazy? Crazy. I'm so crazy.
138
00:12:38,830 --> 00:12:39,830
Hello again, boys.
139
00:12:40,130 --> 00:12:42,670
This dress is also on sale at Spoofs.
140
00:12:46,970 --> 00:12:47,970
Did you see that?
141
00:12:48,370 --> 00:12:52,590
What? She gave you a little extra lip
action when she says Spoofs. See, like
142
00:12:52,590 --> 00:12:53,590
this.
143
00:12:56,930 --> 00:12:57,930
That's all right.
144
00:12:59,150 --> 00:13:02,270
You really think she's interested in me?
She came back, didn't she?
145
00:13:03,050 --> 00:13:04,090
She's hoping for you.
146
00:13:05,850 --> 00:13:07,010
Make your movie, man.
147
00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:34,370
me miss uh garcelle ah garcelle
beautiful name i'm edward what can i do
148
00:13:34,370 --> 00:13:39,090
edward well i think you are fabulously
fly and i was wondering maybe baby if
149
00:13:39,090 --> 00:13:44,810
you'd like to have dinner with me
sometime that's really sweet edward but
150
00:13:44,810 --> 00:13:50,990
go out with men my own age i never date
college kids well what about high school
151
00:13:50,990 --> 00:13:51,990
kids
152
00:14:06,090 --> 00:14:07,210
We hit it off instantly.
153
00:14:08,550 --> 00:14:09,690
She shot you down?
154
00:14:09,910 --> 00:14:10,910
Yeah.
155
00:14:12,350 --> 00:14:13,350
Too bad, man.
156
00:14:13,750 --> 00:14:14,930
I led you astray.
157
00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:17,630
Must have been me she wanted.
158
00:14:19,710 --> 00:14:20,890
Step aside, Eduardo.
159
00:14:22,910 --> 00:14:24,130
Hey, yo, tall thing.
160
00:14:24,410 --> 00:14:25,730
How'd you like to buy me lunch?
161
00:14:28,250 --> 00:14:29,250
Hey, come here!
162
00:14:33,310 --> 00:14:34,310
I'm a get -off.
163
00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:50,300
For the next two weeks, I'm in charge of
security for the Mr. Universe contest.
164
00:14:50,580 --> 00:14:51,580
Well, congratulations.
165
00:14:52,340 --> 00:14:53,340
How's the pay?
166
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:55,780
Lousy. But I get to frisk everyone.
167
00:14:58,440 --> 00:14:59,520
Why aren't you kids playing?
168
00:14:59,860 --> 00:15:01,220
Oh, Carl heard it back.
169
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:02,520
You did?
170
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:03,479
Oh, Carl.
171
00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:04,480
Oh, well.
172
00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:08,480
Hey, guys.
173
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,300
I got a little confession to make.
174
00:15:11,260 --> 00:15:13,560
I, uh, I tricked you.
175
00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:16,560
What do you mean?
176
00:15:16,570 --> 00:15:19,730
Well, there's nothing really wrong with
my back. See?
177
00:15:20,650 --> 00:15:23,050
I just said that so you guys would stop
bugging me.
178
00:15:24,110 --> 00:15:25,730
Tom, that's dishonest.
179
00:15:25,950 --> 00:15:29,210
No, it isn't. It's using the old noggin.
180
00:15:30,950 --> 00:15:33,630
Actually, Uncle Carl, we tricked you.
181
00:15:34,470 --> 00:15:35,470
What do you mean?
182
00:15:35,770 --> 00:15:38,590
We knew all along there was nothing
wrong with your back.
183
00:15:40,270 --> 00:15:41,270
You did?
184
00:15:41,590 --> 00:15:44,090
Sure. Well, then why didn't you say so?
185
00:15:45,290 --> 00:15:48,570
He wanted you to be in a good mood when
we told you that we broke your bowling
186
00:15:48,570 --> 00:15:49,570
trophy.
187
00:15:51,550 --> 00:15:53,930
Richie, that is dishonest.
188
00:15:54,230 --> 00:15:57,190
No, it isn't. That's using the old
noggin.
189
00:16:26,250 --> 00:16:29,050
I was in the parking lot chasing lover
boy when out of nowhere came this bus.
190
00:16:29,550 --> 00:16:30,870
You got hit by a bus?
191
00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:32,069
Not me.
192
00:16:32,070 --> 00:16:33,070
Just the bike.
193
00:16:33,270 --> 00:16:34,790
Fortunately, I flew off and landed on a
nun.
194
00:16:37,250 --> 00:16:38,870
Now, would you excuse us?
195
00:16:39,510 --> 00:16:40,510
Gladly.
196
00:16:43,410 --> 00:16:45,170
Don't worry, Max. My dad can fix the
bike.
197
00:16:45,530 --> 00:16:47,410
But who's going to fix us, Waldo?
198
00:16:48,110 --> 00:16:49,110
What do you mean?
199
00:16:52,850 --> 00:16:54,330
I've had it with your jealousy.
200
00:16:54,860 --> 00:16:56,920
You get mad at every guy that comes near
me.
201
00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:59,080
And I can't stand it anymore.
202
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,240
We're through, Waldo.
203
00:17:01,820 --> 00:17:02,820
What?
204
00:17:03,140 --> 00:17:04,560
You heard me. It's over.
205
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,000
No, Mac.
206
00:17:06,099 --> 00:17:07,300
You gotta give me another chance.
207
00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:08,500
Please.
208
00:17:09,140 --> 00:17:10,599
Why do you act so crazy?
209
00:17:12,060 --> 00:17:13,060
I don't know.
210
00:17:13,260 --> 00:17:14,260
Come on, Waldo.
211
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:16,720
Did you act like this with your other
girlfriend?
212
00:17:19,460 --> 00:17:22,619
Truth is, I haven't had a whole lot of
girlfriends.
213
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:27,640
I mean, There's been girls I like, but
you're the first one that ever liked me
214
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:28,640
back.
215
00:17:28,660 --> 00:17:30,940
Oh, Waldo. I don't want to lose you,
Mac.
216
00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:32,980
I don't want to lose you either.
217
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:38,020
But you have to trust me. And you have
to believe me when I tell you I'm only
218
00:17:38,020 --> 00:17:39,020
interested in you.
219
00:17:40,620 --> 00:17:42,800
I'll try, but it's not easy.
220
00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:44,680
Why not?
221
00:17:46,580 --> 00:17:48,440
Because I honestly don't know why you
like me.
222
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:53,300
Because you're a kind soul with a good
heart.
223
00:17:54,220 --> 00:17:55,119
I am?
224
00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:56,300
Yep. What else?
225
00:17:56,940 --> 00:17:57,940
You make me laugh.
226
00:17:58,260 --> 00:17:59,260
I do?
227
00:18:01,360 --> 00:18:02,360
Thanks, man.
228
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:06,580
But I still think I should be number two
on the all -time hot I get so lucky
229
00:18:06,580 --> 00:18:07,580
list.
230
00:18:07,660 --> 00:18:08,880
Well, who's number one?
231
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:10,240
Loud love it.
232
00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:29,020
How is Myra? I know I saw her run off
crying.
233
00:18:29,340 --> 00:18:31,060
How it made me feel awful.
234
00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:34,720
Now maybe you see how I feel when I try
to get rid of you.
235
00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:37,120
What do you mean?
236
00:18:38,820 --> 00:18:43,900
Well, you always look so sad and pitiful
and it makes me feel sorry for you. And
237
00:18:43,900 --> 00:18:45,380
I always end up apologizing.
238
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:47,840
I just can't figure out why I do that.
239
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,000
You love me, don't you?
240
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:04,740
Lucy, would you mind returning to your
silly raffle?
241
00:19:08,460 --> 00:19:12,300
I'll see you two later. And if there's a
God, much later.
242
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:16,760
Myra, are you okay?
243
00:19:17,180 --> 00:19:18,180
No, Stephen.
244
00:19:18,620 --> 00:19:20,900
Please change your mind about dumping
me.
245
00:19:21,140 --> 00:19:24,340
I've tried living without you, but it
was simply unbearable.
246
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:27,420
My God, woman, it's only been 20
minutes.
247
00:19:41,749 --> 00:19:45,570
I'm sorry, but I just have no shame when
you're concerned.
248
00:19:46,270 --> 00:19:47,270
Now, listen.
249
00:19:47,910 --> 00:19:52,730
I'm so sorry I upset you. I never meant
to hurt your feelings.
250
00:19:53,230 --> 00:19:54,950
You're such a noble man.
251
00:19:56,010 --> 00:19:59,170
Well, I've been thinking.
252
00:20:00,050 --> 00:20:02,650
Perhaps we could continue seeing each
other.
253
00:20:02,950 --> 00:20:04,530
But only occasionally.
254
00:20:05,350 --> 00:20:06,710
I just can't.
255
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:08,240
And that hurts your feelings.
256
00:20:11,620 --> 00:20:12,960
You love me, don't you?
257
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:19,080
Okay.
258
00:20:19,980 --> 00:20:21,140
New game plan.
259
00:20:21,820 --> 00:20:24,760
It's not that I've been pursuing you too
hard.
260
00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:27,880
It's that I haven't been pursuing you
hard enough.
261
00:20:28,500 --> 00:20:34,080
What? I want you, Stephen Q. Urkel, and
I won't rest until I have you.
262
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:35,860
My reputation. You're a 12.
263
00:20:36,590 --> 00:20:41,390
Point buck, and you're staring down the
barrel of my 30 -odd six.
264
00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:44,810
Bang.
265
00:20:47,010 --> 00:20:52,870
Are you okay?
266
00:20:53,090 --> 00:20:55,550
No, I'm not. The woman's wacko, la.
267
00:20:55,970 --> 00:20:58,490
Why, she simply won't take no for an
answer.
268
00:20:58,690 --> 00:21:02,210
What do you do when someone is just
obsessed with you?
269
00:21:03,390 --> 00:21:04,390
Beats me.
270
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,240
It's coming.
271
00:21:24,620 --> 00:21:28,940
Kyle XY returns Monday, June 11th with
an all -new season.
272
00:21:29,500 --> 00:21:32,940
And this Monday. You can find out if
those dreams that you're having are
273
00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:34,420
An astonishing clue.
274
00:21:34,740 --> 00:21:35,740
It's you.
275
00:21:36,180 --> 00:21:37,180
1985.
276
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:39,280
Leads to a forbidden place.
277
00:21:39,660 --> 00:21:42,680
In just three weeks, the all -new season
begins.
19807
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