Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,000
Oh, black.
2
00:00:53,900 --> 00:00:55,920
answered here. Well, you did. Why?
3
00:00:56,760 --> 00:01:00,220
Because this school has something my
other school doesn't. Well, what's that?
4
00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:02,920
You, my Adonis and suspenders.
5
00:01:06,740 --> 00:01:13,260
Well, look,
6
00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:17,720
I know we've gone out a few times, but
don't you think?
7
00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:26,920
protecting with mine from hungry eyes
and sticky fingers.
8
00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:33,060
Come down, class.
9
00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:35,400
Take your seats.
10
00:01:39,740 --> 00:01:46,460
Class, we have a new student.
11
00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:48,100
Myra Monkhouse.
12
00:02:06,350 --> 00:02:12,590
calls himself a teacher all right good
one
13
00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:19,450
grab a seat miss monkhouse oh uh gee i'd
really like to sit next to
14
00:02:19,450 --> 00:02:22,810
steve urkel is there anyone near him
willing to give up their super
15
00:02:48,430 --> 00:02:54,610
It's a rare condition this day and age
to read any good news on the newspaper
16
00:02:54,610 --> 00:03:00,830
page. And love and tradition of the
grand design, some people say it's even
17
00:03:00,830 --> 00:03:02,050
harder to find.
18
00:03:03,190 --> 00:03:09,090
Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these gentle walls.
19
00:03:10,450 --> 00:03:13,670
Because all I see is a tower of...
20
00:03:35,470 --> 00:03:38,350
Paul, the stupid, I can't believe the
nerve of that jerk.
21
00:03:39,770 --> 00:03:43,470
Harry, is something bothering you? You
seem a little grumpy. Grumpy? I'm not
22
00:03:43,470 --> 00:03:44,470
grumpy.
23
00:03:46,410 --> 00:03:47,410
Okay, fine.
24
00:03:47,670 --> 00:03:50,170
But from over here, it sounds a little
like grumpy.
25
00:03:51,070 --> 00:03:55,310
I have a problem at the Chronicle. They
want me to cut my staff by two people.
26
00:03:55,830 --> 00:03:56,830
Why?
27
00:03:56,930 --> 00:03:57,930
Budget cutback.
28
00:03:58,170 --> 00:04:01,270
The order came down from the director of
operations, Fred Rollins.
29
00:04:01,510 --> 00:04:03,470
The man has a time clock for a heart.
30
00:04:03,950 --> 00:04:04,950
Fred Rollins.
31
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:06,839
Have I met him?
32
00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:09,400
Yeah. Last year at the Christmas party.
33
00:04:10,060 --> 00:04:11,720
Remember you volunteered to be Santa?
34
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:14,860
Fred was the one that said he didn't
have time to let out the suit.
35
00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:19,959
Oh, yeah.
36
00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:21,640
He is a jerk.
37
00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:24,340
Carl, I don't know who to let go.
38
00:04:24,580 --> 00:04:26,440
Everyone on my staff has a family.
39
00:04:26,860 --> 00:04:28,640
Well, maybe you should stand up to him.
40
00:04:29,020 --> 00:04:32,400
Tell Fred that when times are tough, the
last thing you should cut is security.
41
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:33,940
Yeah.
42
00:04:35,310 --> 00:04:39,190
pretty boy that when people work hard,
you don't pay them back by firing them.
43
00:04:39,490 --> 00:04:40,490
That's right.
44
00:04:40,750 --> 00:04:42,410
I'm not firing anyone.
45
00:04:42,790 --> 00:04:43,790
Good for you, honey.
46
00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:46,590
Now, I'm sorry you have to go through
this.
47
00:04:48,250 --> 00:04:49,830
Thank you. Come on. Yeah.
48
00:04:51,530 --> 00:04:53,930
So, feel like making dinner now?
49
00:04:57,870 --> 00:04:59,550
Well, let's go out.
50
00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:13,720
Waldo? What's up?
51
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,220
Why weren't you here yesterday?
52
00:05:17,460 --> 00:05:19,040
You mean this class is every day?
53
00:05:22,940 --> 00:05:23,940
Yes.
54
00:05:24,620 --> 00:05:27,740
I wish people would make up their minds.
I waited here all summer.
55
00:05:42,430 --> 00:05:46,370
Okay, your assignment for today was to
memorize a humorous poem.
56
00:05:48,450 --> 00:05:50,430
Who would like to recite theirs first?
57
00:05:53,030 --> 00:05:54,290
Go ahead, don't be shy.
58
00:05:55,810 --> 00:05:57,810
Anyone? Anyone at all?
59
00:06:01,990 --> 00:06:03,190
Okay, Mr.
60
00:06:03,430 --> 00:06:04,430
Urkel.
61
00:06:11,370 --> 00:06:12,370
I'll need a short warmup.
62
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:21,260
Oh, just let me cut to the chase.
63
00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:23,960
He's, ooh, hurt me bad sexy.
64
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:32,480
Steve is the wind in my sail, the polish
on my nails.
65
00:08:33,059 --> 00:08:35,320
He makes me glad to be alive.
66
00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:39,559
He shifts my heart into overdrive.
67
00:08:44,700 --> 00:08:47,880
Wow. I'm not here much, but I'd give her
an A.
68
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,000
What's the matter, you?
69
00:09:16,220 --> 00:09:17,940
I had my showdown at work today.
70
00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:20,320
Oh, Fred Rollins?
71
00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:24,040
He wanted to know which employees I
decided to let go.
72
00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:25,520
I told him no one.
73
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,260
Great. What did he say?
74
00:09:29,140 --> 00:09:30,280
He said you're fired.
75
00:09:30,900 --> 00:09:31,900
What?
76
00:09:32,420 --> 00:09:33,860
I lost my job, Carl.
77
00:09:35,340 --> 00:09:36,340
23 years.
78
00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:38,720
And they let me go.
79
00:09:39,380 --> 00:09:41,200
Oh, honey. Oh, God.
80
00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:54,040
I bet that's Maxine. She got one of
those trashy lingerie catalogs in the
81
00:09:54,140 --> 00:09:56,300
and she thinks one of the models is our
homeroom teacher.
82
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:00,320
Myra!
83
00:10:00,820 --> 00:10:01,820
Good day, Laura.
84
00:10:02,900 --> 00:10:06,540
Oh, it's not very often I get to say
this, but Steve's not here.
85
00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:09,700
Well, actually, I'm here to see you.
86
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:11,200
Oh?
87
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:15,500
I realize that we've had our problems in
the past, but I was hoping that we
88
00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:17,260
could, well... Pinky truth?
89
00:10:24,650 --> 00:10:30,710
So long darkness led in the light, I
won't fuss and I won't fight.
90
00:10:31,810 --> 00:10:35,490
Now, would you like to say it back to
me?
91
00:10:36,530 --> 00:10:37,850
Not in this lifetime.
92
00:10:39,690 --> 00:10:41,430
But please, come on in.
93
00:10:42,450 --> 00:10:43,450
Hello, Edward.
94
00:10:43,610 --> 00:10:48,030
Hi, Myra. Want an apple? Oh, I couldn't.
I just stuffed myself with mung bean.
95
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:50,170
Steve says it's a natural colon broom.
96
00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:54,160
He wouldn't know.
97
00:10:54,740 --> 00:10:56,540
Bye. No, no, no, wait.
98
00:10:56,800 --> 00:11:00,460
I need your advice, too. After all, you
are Steve's best friend.
99
00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:02,580
I'm his only friend.
100
00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:05,180
So what's the problem, Myra?
101
00:11:06,220 --> 00:11:11,500
Well, Stephen and I have had three
glorious nights on the town.
102
00:11:12,700 --> 00:11:16,380
Unfortunately, he's always behaved like
the perfect gentleman.
103
00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:18,800
Unfortunately?
104
00:11:25,710 --> 00:11:27,930
luscious lips pressed hotly against
mine.
105
00:11:34,130 --> 00:11:35,590
Myra? Yes?
106
00:11:35,950 --> 00:11:36,950
How have you been drinking?
107
00:11:40,130 --> 00:11:43,870
Just a little aloe vera juice to help
move along the mung bean.
108
00:11:45,910 --> 00:11:46,910
Wait a minute.
109
00:11:47,270 --> 00:11:48,450
I gotta sit down.
110
00:11:52,370 --> 00:11:54,650
You actually want Steve to kiss you?
111
00:11:55,380 --> 00:11:57,200
Girl, I'm hurting for it.
112
00:11:59,220 --> 00:12:02,660
Well, I can see how kissing Steve and
Payne do go hand in hand.
113
00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:07,060
Well, Myra, maybe you just need to turn
him on a little bit.
114
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,340
Yeah, where do you go on your dates with
Steve?
115
00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:11,120
The usual places.
116
00:12:11,540 --> 00:12:14,940
Movies, restaurants, the Polka Hall of
Fame.
117
00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:20,200
Okay, well, maybe that's your problem.
Those are all public places.
118
00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:29,040
extremely shy person. Yeah. I mean, he
won't even get undressed in front of his
119
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,040
dog.
120
00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:33,520
He's probably nervous about showing
affection in public.
121
00:12:34,740 --> 00:12:36,040
Of course.
122
00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:37,740
Of course.
123
00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:41,500
I need to get my little flamingo legs
alone.
124
00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:45,260
I think that's the mung bean talking.
125
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:50,100
Thanks, guys. I know exactly what to do
now.
126
00:12:55,660 --> 00:13:00,600
for an intimate rendezvous, and as sure
as God makes little green apples, my
127
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:02,660
lips will be doing push -ups against
his.
128
00:13:06,340 --> 00:13:07,960
That is one sick puppy.
129
00:13:17,580 --> 00:13:18,580
Hi, honey.
130
00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:19,980
Hi. What you doing?
131
00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:21,820
Putting together a job resume.
132
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:25,280
Sweetheart.
133
00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:27,120
You know, I feel really bad.
134
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:30,880
I mean, you wouldn't have gotten fired
if you hadn't listened to my advice.
135
00:13:31,580 --> 00:13:33,920
Carl, I'm glad I took your advice.
136
00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:37,760
Really? What have we always told our
kids over and over?
137
00:13:38,660 --> 00:13:39,920
Don't slam the toilet seat?
138
00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:42,360
No.
139
00:13:42,540 --> 00:13:45,900
We've told them to always stand up for
what they believe in.
140
00:13:46,140 --> 00:13:49,500
I stuck to my principles, and I feel
good about it.
141
00:13:51,260 --> 00:13:52,860
You know something, Mrs. Winslow?
142
00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:55,000
I am proud of you.
143
00:13:56,110 --> 00:14:01,410
You are a strong and independent lady,
and I am very lucky to have you.
144
00:14:02,090 --> 00:14:03,110
Thank you, Carl.
145
00:14:24,940 --> 00:14:26,320
Would you mind setting up those chairs?
146
00:14:26,780 --> 00:14:29,580
Oh, certainly, my dainty daffodil.
147
00:14:57,870 --> 00:14:59,110
Let's just forget the chairs.
148
00:14:59,770 --> 00:15:00,770
Okay.
149
00:15:10,270 --> 00:15:12,410
Lovely evening, isn't it? Oh, yes, yes.
150
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:24,310
This ice cream is making me a little
cold.
151
00:15:25,070 --> 00:15:27,110
Do you think there's something you can
do about that?
152
00:15:27,370 --> 00:15:29,110
Oh, sure. Give me an hour, flippin'
damn.
153
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:23,420
Like the commercial says, just do it.
154
00:20:04,940 --> 00:20:08,500
and kissing another make me a selfish,
shallow, pleasure -seeking cad?
155
00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:13,360
Only if you were trying to take
advantage of me.
156
00:20:14,060 --> 00:20:19,800
But my eyes are wide open, and they'll
stay wide open until the moment you kiss
157
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:21,360
me, if you ever do.
158
00:20:25,700 --> 00:20:27,640
Then close them peepers, baby.
159
00:20:31,340 --> 00:20:34,240
these lips have lost their engine and
they're coming in for a landing.
160
00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:30,820
Family Matters is a Miller -Boyette
production in association with Warner
161
00:21:30,820 --> 00:21:33,900
Brothers Television and is distributed
by Warner Brothers Domestic Television
162
00:21:33,900 --> 00:21:34,900
Distribution.
12305
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.