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1
00:00:03,790 --> 00:00:07,230
I'm a little concerned about your new
barbecue grill. Are you sure you put it
2
00:00:07,230 --> 00:00:07,909
together right?
3
00:00:07,910 --> 00:00:08,910
Am I sure?
4
00:00:10,390 --> 00:00:14,750
Harriet, I am the barbecue chef
extraordinaire.
5
00:00:15,070 --> 00:00:17,950
I am the king of meat.
6
00:00:20,650 --> 00:00:24,270
May I ask you a question, oh royal
meatiness?
7
00:00:28,130 --> 00:00:29,130
You may.
8
00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:32,780
How come you spent so much money on that
new high -tech dance barbecue?
9
00:00:33,060 --> 00:00:34,840
We could have used that money to fix up
the kitchen.
10
00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:37,100
Harriet, we don't need to redo the
kitchen.
11
00:00:37,420 --> 00:00:38,600
We got a swell kitchen.
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00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:41,740
I would not dream of redoing this
kitchen.
13
00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:46,800
I shall return shortly with cooked meat.
14
00:01:25,290 --> 00:01:26,290
I've been thinking.
15
00:01:29,710 --> 00:01:31,350
It's time to redo the kitchen.
16
00:01:47,110 --> 00:01:50,650
It's a rare condition this day and age.
17
00:01:51,050 --> 00:01:54,110
To read any good news on the newspaper
page.
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00:01:54,350 --> 00:01:57,170
And love and tradition of the grand
design.
19
00:01:57,450 --> 00:02:00,910
Some people say it's even harder to
find.
20
00:02:02,050 --> 00:02:07,870
Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these gentle walls.
21
00:02:09,250 --> 00:02:12,770
Because all I see is a tower of dreams.
22
00:02:13,130 --> 00:02:16,090
Real love bursting out of every scene.
23
00:02:21,550 --> 00:02:24,290
It's the bigger love of the family.
24
00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:49,719
What do you want, Steve?
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00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:53,320
Well, I'm sorry to interrupt your
reading, but I desperately need to talk
26
00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:54,380
you. About what?
27
00:02:55,120 --> 00:03:00,620
Well, well, I feel like my emotions are
stuck in a mix, Master, and you're the
28
00:03:00,620 --> 00:03:01,960
only one that can pull the plug.
29
00:03:02,780 --> 00:03:05,700
Does this have anything to do with Myra?
I thought you two were getting along
30
00:03:05,700 --> 00:03:07,060
great. Oh, we are.
31
00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:10,960
Why, just last weekend, we grabbed our
accordions and drove down to Beloit for
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00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:12,380
the Polka -Tilla Plots Festival.
33
00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:15,680
Sounds romantic.
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00:03:15,980 --> 00:03:16,980
Oh, it was.
35
00:03:17,930 --> 00:03:21,930
bells and accordions glistening in the
moonlight playing, she's too fat for me.
36
00:03:25,270 --> 00:03:26,970
Wow, now that's living.
37
00:03:28,810 --> 00:03:31,230
My Virginia really seems to like me.
38
00:03:31,450 --> 00:03:35,950
I mean, a beautiful, intelligent girl
actually likes me.
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00:03:37,230 --> 00:03:38,350
Well, that's wonderful.
40
00:03:38,630 --> 00:03:39,630
Yeah.
41
00:03:40,330 --> 00:03:41,650
Oh, it isn't.
42
00:03:43,470 --> 00:03:44,610
Oh, it's awful.
43
00:03:45,450 --> 00:03:46,810
I'm riddled with guilt.
44
00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:49,300
Guilt? Well, yes.
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00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:53,040
My heart belongs to you, but I'm locking
lips with another woman.
46
00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:58,520
Steve, you're causing yourself a great
deal of unnecessary pain.
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00:03:58,960 --> 00:03:59,899
I am?
48
00:03:59,900 --> 00:04:04,460
Yeah. If you would only emotionally
commit yourself to Myra, your guilt
49
00:04:04,460 --> 00:04:05,460
away.
50
00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:09,200
But to do that, wouldn't I have to
forget about you?
51
00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:10,400
Yes!
52
00:04:11,340 --> 00:04:16,339
I mean, that's true, but...
53
00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:20,720
about you and she deserves a guy who's
totally committed to her.
54
00:04:20,940 --> 00:04:21,940
You're right.
55
00:04:22,460 --> 00:04:25,160
Myra's more than just a funky, funky,
gimme, gimme love toy.
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00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:30,580
Like she's a person. A person with
feelings.
57
00:04:32,140 --> 00:04:33,140
Hmm.
58
00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:35,640
Hmm, you know.
59
00:04:45,840 --> 00:04:46,920
Smack up on me.
60
00:04:58,860 --> 00:05:00,980
find a part -time job, we can fix the
kitchen with your next paycheck.
61
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:03,620
No, I gotta pay the mortgage with my
next paycheck.
62
00:05:04,060 --> 00:05:06,080
Well, then we can use my next paycheck.
63
00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:08,540
No, that's no good. I bought the
barbecue with that one.
64
00:05:13,100 --> 00:05:14,100
Hey, Mom.
65
00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:16,560
Hi, Eddie.
66
00:05:16,940 --> 00:05:19,020
How's it going down in Matty Winnie?
Same as always.
67
00:05:19,380 --> 00:05:20,380
Dog eat dog.
68
00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:22,640
You hear that, Dad?
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00:05:22,740 --> 00:05:23,740
Dog eat dog.
70
00:05:25,550 --> 00:05:26,570
Please, I'm trying to concentrate.
71
00:05:26,810 --> 00:05:27,669
On what?
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00:05:27,670 --> 00:05:30,690
Well, your father's trying to find a
part -time job so he can rebuild a
73
00:05:30,930 --> 00:05:31,849
Oh, yeah?
74
00:05:31,850 --> 00:05:33,910
Well, you know, they're looking for more
people down at Mighty Weenie.
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00:05:35,010 --> 00:05:38,150
It only pays minimum wage, but you get a
bathroom break every six hours.
76
00:05:44,250 --> 00:05:45,250
Edward.
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00:05:46,470 --> 00:05:47,470
Son.
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00:05:47,990 --> 00:05:50,490
Your father is a law enforcement
officer.
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00:05:50,790 --> 00:05:52,730
A highly skilled professional.
80
00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:59,700
Now, I think that I can do just a little
bit better than slinging hot dog, don't
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00:05:59,700 --> 00:06:00,700
you?
82
00:06:01,020 --> 00:06:02,940
Yeah, you're right.
83
00:06:03,700 --> 00:06:06,700
I'm sorry, Dad. That's okay. You're
young, son. You didn't think.
84
00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:14,620
You see, if a man with my credentials
winds up with a job at a place like
85
00:06:14,620 --> 00:06:16,360
Weenie, it could only mean one thing.
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00:06:16,980 --> 00:06:20,580
That there are no other jobs available
on this planet.
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00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:38,900
I want to die.
88
00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:43,080
Well,
89
00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:50,560
look at the bright side. At least
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00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:51,560
we get to work together.
91
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:54,140
Well, that's true.
92
00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:55,760
Father and son.
93
00:06:55,950 --> 00:06:58,790
Side by side? The dynamic duo of dogs.
94
00:06:59,090 --> 00:07:00,090
Yeah.
95
00:07:00,450 --> 00:07:01,450
You're right.
96
00:07:01,690 --> 00:07:02,690
Okay.
97
00:07:03,010 --> 00:07:06,650
You and I are going to be the best
weenie flingers in the history of Chi
98
00:07:07,670 --> 00:07:09,330
That's what they're talking about.
99
00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:26,840
You okay?
100
00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:28,200
Yeah, I'm fine.
101
00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:31,200
Oh, come on. Something's wrong. What is
it?
102
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:35,480
I can't tell you, Aunt Rachel. It's too
weird and twisted and sick.
103
00:07:38,060 --> 00:07:39,060
Ooh.
104
00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:45,380
Now, Laura, you know that I have done my
share of living, so nothing you can say
105
00:07:45,380 --> 00:07:46,380
would shock me.
106
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:52,080
I'm Misty Burkle.
107
00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:58,000
Oh, you need professional help.
108
00:08:00,540 --> 00:08:02,740
See, I told you. Oh, come on. I'm just
teasing.
109
00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:04,660
Let's just think this thing through.
110
00:08:05,060 --> 00:08:09,240
Okay, now, you convinced Steve to forget
about you and concentrate on Myra,
111
00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:10,219
right? Right.
112
00:08:10,220 --> 00:08:12,580
And that was two weeks ago. And I
haven't seen him since.
113
00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:14,440
So? Why aren't you thrilled?
114
00:08:14,740 --> 00:08:19,120
I was at first, but then, starting a
couple of days ago, I actually started
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00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:20,120
miss him.
116
00:08:24,750 --> 00:08:31,390
think i could be suffering from some
kind of post -traumatic pest disorder no
117
00:08:31,390 --> 00:08:37,630
i think there's a much more normal
explanation for your feeling really what
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00:08:37,630 --> 00:08:44,010
it well i think that somehow the years
when you weren't looking you and steve
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00:08:44,010 --> 00:08:45,790
became friends
120
00:08:58,300 --> 00:08:59,460
Winslow? Yes, sir.
121
00:08:59,980 --> 00:09:01,580
And Winslow? Yes, sir.
122
00:09:03,660 --> 00:09:04,660
I need to talk to you.
123
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:10,200
I have some good news.
124
00:09:10,660 --> 00:09:12,920
The good news is I've been promoted to
district manager.
125
00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:14,240
Oh, congratulations.
126
00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:15,059
Way to go.
127
00:09:15,060 --> 00:09:18,060
Thank you. Now that leaves the position
of night manager open here.
128
00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:22,720
I've been watching you both very
carefully, and I've made my choice.
129
00:09:23,660 --> 00:09:28,710
Carl. You're hardworking, you're
intelligent, you're mature, you're a
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00:09:28,710 --> 00:09:31,430
-born leader, and no one is better
qualified for this job than you.
131
00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:34,930
Thank you, sir. I just put you leaving
in three weeks, so I chose your kid.
132
00:09:39,730 --> 00:09:43,470
Congratulations, Eddie. Not only will
you be earning a dollar more an hour,
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00:09:43,470 --> 00:09:46,950
you get to wear this manager's blazer
with the coveted silver weenie patch.
134
00:09:48,950 --> 00:09:50,230
The silver weenie.
135
00:09:52,210 --> 00:09:53,870
Come here. Come here.
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00:09:54,410 --> 00:09:55,410
Come here.
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00:09:58,130 --> 00:10:00,310
Best of all, you don't have to wear that
stupid hat anymore.
138
00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:04,810
Carl, say hello to your new boss.
139
00:10:24,970 --> 00:10:25,829
There you are, sir.
140
00:10:25,830 --> 00:10:28,990
One mighty weenie and one low -fat
leanie weenie. Thank you.
141
00:10:29,430 --> 00:10:30,450
Have a weenie day.
142
00:10:31,630 --> 00:10:32,710
Excuse me, Carl.
143
00:10:32,990 --> 00:10:33,990
Yes?
144
00:10:34,130 --> 00:10:37,970
You're supposed to wish the customer a
wonderful weenie day, not just a weenie
145
00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:39,610
day. It's a small but important gift.
146
00:10:40,970 --> 00:10:42,670
Gee, I'm so sorry.
147
00:10:43,890 --> 00:10:45,910
Oh, but that's the third time I've had
to remind you.
148
00:10:51,850 --> 00:10:55,170
Well, why don't you just stand me in
front of everybody and fling sauerkraut
149
00:10:55,170 --> 00:10:56,170
me?
150
00:10:56,190 --> 00:11:01,710
Ah, now you're being sarcastic. And
according to the employee handbook,
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00:11:01,710 --> 00:11:04,110
is a condiment that sours a happy
weenie.
152
00:11:06,050 --> 00:11:07,750
I'll try to remember that, Edward.
153
00:11:09,430 --> 00:11:14,330
Uh, Carl, I think that it would be
better if you addressed me as sir or Mr.
154
00:11:14,470 --> 00:11:15,470
Winslow.
155
00:11:18,710 --> 00:11:19,810
You've got to be kidding.
156
00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:22,339
Oh, no.
157
00:11:22,340 --> 00:11:25,380
Carl. I mean, after all, we are running
a business here.
158
00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:28,820
I don't believe this.
159
00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:33,300
Now, Carl, I'd like for you to bust
those tables and refill the napkin
160
00:11:33,300 --> 00:11:34,300
dispensers.
161
00:11:35,100 --> 00:11:36,100
All right.
162
00:11:37,060 --> 00:11:39,640
Then empty the trash can, scrub the
grills, and mop the bathroom floors.
163
00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:44,260
While I'm doing all of that, what will
you be doing?
164
00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:46,940
Oh, well, I'll be doing what I'm
supposed to be doing.
165
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,000
Supervising.
166
00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:56,639
I'm Bush.
167
00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:57,640
I'm a crash.
168
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,360
Bush? From what?
169
00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:03,880
What's the matter with you?
170
00:12:04,260 --> 00:12:05,400
What's the matter with me?
171
00:12:06,380 --> 00:12:07,940
I'll tell you what's the matter with me.
172
00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:14,740
You had me doing every filthy,
disgusting job in the history of fast
173
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,560
Oh, take it easy, Carl.
174
00:12:25,610 --> 00:12:26,610
Now, Edward.
175
00:12:30,530 --> 00:12:35,250
And inside these walls, I'm the head
weenie.
176
00:12:40,330 --> 00:12:41,330
Okay, okay.
177
00:12:41,610 --> 00:12:42,750
Okay, sir.
178
00:12:43,490 --> 00:12:44,490
Okay, sir.
179
00:12:45,490 --> 00:12:47,730
And tomorrow is Saturday.
180
00:12:48,510 --> 00:12:53,670
And there are just a few things around
the house that need to be done.
181
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:04,320
Like what? Well, first, the lawn needs
to be mowed.
182
00:13:04,540 --> 00:13:08,020
Okay, I'll get up early and do it. And
then you'll trim the hedges, paint the
183
00:13:08,020 --> 00:13:11,800
garage door, take down the storm
windows, and wash and wax my car.
184
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:18,220
And while I'm doing all this, what'll
you be doing? What I'm supposed to be
185
00:13:18,220 --> 00:13:19,580
doing. Supervising.
186
00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:34,380
Wrong. He's the one that's freaking out.
Your son is power crazy. Power crazy?
187
00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:38,560
That's right. The minute you put on a
blue blazer with a silver -plated weenie
188
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:41,920
patch, you started goose -stepping like
a hot dog Hitler.
189
00:13:44,580 --> 00:13:45,680
Oh, that does it.
190
00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:01,140
It should be easy for him to sit down.
He's been doing it all night.
191
00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:07,940
You know, I was afraid there'd be
trouble when Eddie got promoted.
192
00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:12,500
But I hoped you'd both be mature enough
to handle it. Well, I wasn't mature.
193
00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:15,300
Carl,
194
00:14:21,140 --> 00:14:22,200
admit it.
195
00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:24,580
You're jealous of Eddie. Well, maybe a
little.
196
00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:30,720
Weren't you getting back at your father
just a little for all the chores that
197
00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:31,860
he's made you do over the years?
198
00:14:34,020 --> 00:14:35,320
Well, maybe just a little.
199
00:14:35,940 --> 00:14:41,940
Carl, it seems to me that instead of
being jealous of Eddie, you should be
200
00:14:41,940 --> 00:14:45,000
of his success and look for ways to help
him out with this new position.
201
00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:46,260
That would have been nice.
202
00:14:46,820 --> 00:14:50,600
And Eddie, instead of lording it over
your father, you should have taken
203
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:53,800
advantage of all his years of experience
and asked him for some suggestions.
204
00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:55,660
That would have been nice.
205
00:14:57,100 --> 00:14:59,960
You know, you both should think about
something.
206
00:15:00,780 --> 00:15:03,780
For the next couple of weeks, you're
going to be boss and employee.
207
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,900
But don't let that interfere with what
you're going to be for the rest of your
208
00:15:06,900 --> 00:15:07,900
lives.
209
00:15:08,220 --> 00:15:09,780
Father and son.
210
00:15:22,260 --> 00:15:23,260
She's right, you know.
211
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,000
Yeah.
212
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:30,200
I'm sorry.
213
00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:32,860
I'm sorry too, son.
214
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:35,440
I love you.
215
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:37,840
I love you too.
216
00:16:19,370 --> 00:16:20,930
Well, we intended an art gallery
opening.
217
00:16:21,450 --> 00:16:23,950
This is so sweet. You guys both like the
same thing.
218
00:16:24,850 --> 00:16:26,810
Laura, do you mind if I skip to your
loop?
219
00:16:27,130 --> 00:16:28,130
It's right over there.
220
00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:33,190
I'll be just a moment, Stevie.
221
00:16:33,870 --> 00:16:36,430
A moment without you is an eternity.
222
00:16:55,629 --> 00:16:59,590
Steve, usually when I call you, you rush
right over before I can hang up the
223
00:16:59,590 --> 00:17:00,590
phone.
224
00:17:01,110 --> 00:17:02,990
I left a message for you two days ago.
225
00:17:04,089 --> 00:17:05,089
Oh, well.
226
00:17:06,770 --> 00:17:07,770
I've been busy.
227
00:17:10,910 --> 00:17:13,550
So then I guess things are going pretty
well with you and Myra, huh?
228
00:17:13,869 --> 00:17:14,950
Myra, you were right.
229
00:17:15,170 --> 00:17:18,930
Why, my emotional confusion disappeared
the moment I committed my little herbal
230
00:17:18,930 --> 00:17:19,930
heart to Myra.
231
00:17:20,849 --> 00:17:22,069
Oh, that's great.
232
00:17:22,829 --> 00:17:24,839
How be it? door each other.
233
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:26,540
Why, we're inseparable.
234
00:17:26,839 --> 00:17:29,460
We even spent some time in a sensory
deprivation tank.
235
00:17:30,420 --> 00:17:33,320
And believe you me, I didn't feel
deprived.
236
00:17:39,060 --> 00:17:40,160
How nice for you.
237
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:42,400
Thanks for your advice, Laura.
238
00:17:42,660 --> 00:17:43,660
You're a good friend.
239
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:45,340
So we're still friends?
240
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:46,560
Oh, absolutely.
241
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:51,640
Oh, good, because over the last two
weeks, I actually started to miss you at
242
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:53,020
Incy Wincy Itsy Bitsy Biff.
243
00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:07,080
She loves me, don't you?
244
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,220
No, no, no.
245
00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:18,640
I made myself scarce and now you want
me.
246
00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:22,100
No, Steve, I was just trying to be nice.
247
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:23,620
Look at those tissues.
248
00:18:23,820 --> 00:18:24,820
You've been...
249
00:18:31,630 --> 00:18:35,190
lasting 40 love songs in a row with no
commercial interruptions.
250
00:18:37,690 --> 00:18:39,990
Oh, Laura. Laura, my pet.
251
00:18:40,230 --> 00:18:42,350
I pursued you before, but baby...
252
00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:14,420
into heat.
253
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:19,360
Excuse me?
254
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:23,400
Myra, Myra.
255
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:26,500
Now, you have every right to be upset.
256
00:19:27,940 --> 00:19:31,080
Alas, I misled you, my little milk dud.
257
00:19:32,660 --> 00:19:33,660
You have?
258
00:19:34,980 --> 00:19:35,980
Yes.
259
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:39,620
And I've treasured every moment of it
with you.
260
00:19:40,100 --> 00:19:42,120
But the truth of the matter is...
261
00:19:42,990 --> 00:19:47,270
There's always been a part of me hidden
deep in my heart that could only think
262
00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:48,270
of Laura.
263
00:19:48,850 --> 00:19:50,130
So don't blame her.
264
00:19:51,130 --> 00:19:52,130
Blame me.
265
00:19:55,590 --> 00:19:58,690
Oh, Stephen, it's so like you to be
noble.
266
00:20:00,470 --> 00:20:04,630
But you're just a hunky pawn in this she
-devil's love game.
267
00:20:07,570 --> 00:20:08,570
She -devil?
268
00:20:09,270 --> 00:20:10,810
Who are you calling a she -devil?
269
00:20:16,439 --> 00:20:19,080
You listen to me, Miss Laura.
270
00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:24,460
I love Steve Urkel. He's the hot fudge
on my sundaes.
271
00:20:31,660 --> 00:20:34,140
And let me tell you something, honey.
272
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:36,700
Nobody steals my dessert.
273
00:20:43,790 --> 00:20:47,190
I tried to be nice, and you stabbed me
in the back.
274
00:20:47,990 --> 00:20:50,090
Drop on your howitzer, missy.
275
00:20:50,570 --> 00:20:52,650
From now on, it's war.
276
00:20:58,230 --> 00:21:00,450
Well, I think that went fairly well,
don't you?
21056
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