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1
00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:05,919
Hey, Harry.
2
00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:07,440
Put down those coupons.
3
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:10,960
Eddie and Laura finally gave me that
language tape they've been promising us.
4
00:00:11,180 --> 00:00:13,120
Great. We're going to be a bilingual
family.
5
00:00:17,380 --> 00:00:20,280
Daddy Mac, a good -looking guy.
6
00:00:22,740 --> 00:00:25,100
Daddy Mac, a good -looking guy.
7
00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:30,120
Fly, honey, a good -looking girl.
8
00:00:31,820 --> 00:00:34,730
Fly. Honey, a good -looking girl.
9
00:00:37,830 --> 00:00:40,190
Yo, let's kick it with the homies.
10
00:00:40,710 --> 00:00:44,250
Hey, let's relax with our friends.
11
00:00:48,310 --> 00:00:49,570
You know, this is amazing.
12
00:00:49,870 --> 00:00:51,950
This is a whole different language.
13
00:00:52,470 --> 00:00:56,350
Yep, and when we learn it, we'll be able
to talk with our kids.
14
00:00:57,930 --> 00:00:59,730
Ready for more? Fly, honey.
15
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:01,300
Let's kick it, Daddy Mac.
16
00:01:35,740 --> 00:01:37,220
It's all I see.
17
00:01:37,420 --> 00:01:39,080
The tower of dreams.
18
00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:41,300
Real love bursting out.
19
00:02:11,989 --> 00:02:12,989
Uncle Carl?
20
00:02:13,210 --> 00:02:16,210
Uncle Carl!
21
00:02:16,730 --> 00:02:17,730
Oh,
22
00:02:25,610 --> 00:02:32,390
Richie! Morning, Uncle Carl.
23
00:02:32,670 --> 00:02:34,230
You knocked the wind out of me.
24
00:02:34,750 --> 00:02:37,010
Sorry. I had to wake you up.
25
00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:38,980
I made you breakfast in bed.
26
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,360
Oh. Well, that's very thoughtful.
27
00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:48,080
Hey, it's the least I can do for the
best alcohol in the entire whole
28
00:02:48,540 --> 00:02:50,960
Wow. Here, fresh orange juice.
29
00:03:18,220 --> 00:03:19,560
something, young man, aren't you?
30
00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:29,440
See, there's this hot new video game
called Super Space Donkeys. I need that
31
00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:30,520
game, Uncle Carl.
32
00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:34,220
Well, have you asked your mother for it?
33
00:03:34,540 --> 00:03:37,680
Nah, she's hip to the old breakfast in
bed trick.
34
00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:40,220
Well, okay.
35
00:03:40,260 --> 00:03:43,840
I'll have a talk with her and see how
she feels about that particular video
36
00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:44,840
game, okay?
37
00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:46,200
Thanks, Uncle Carl.
38
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:50,960
What's the matter?
39
00:03:51,260 --> 00:03:55,420
I got a loose tooth. It hurts when I
chew anything harder than pudding.
40
00:03:56,300 --> 00:03:58,300
Open up. Let's take a look.
41
00:03:59,780 --> 00:04:00,780
Oh, yeah.
42
00:04:01,140 --> 00:04:02,800
That baby's almost ready to come out.
43
00:04:03,220 --> 00:04:05,640
Mom says all my teeth are going to fall
out.
44
00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:07,040
Well, she's right.
45
00:04:07,340 --> 00:04:09,860
Sometimes some things have to fall out
to make room for new ones.
46
00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:13,860
You must be getting a lot of new hair
because there's plenty of...
47
00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:30,940
Once we pull that tooth, we'll put it
under your pillow, and the tooth fairy
48
00:04:30,940 --> 00:04:31,940
will bring you money.
49
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,900
If you lose enough teeth, you'll be able
to buy your video game.
50
00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:38,840
What do you mean, pull my tooth?
51
00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:42,660
Well, Rich, that permanent tooth is all
ready to come in.
52
00:04:43,140 --> 00:04:45,320
It'll grow in crooked if we don't get
rid of that baby tooth.
53
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:49,000
Let's wait and see if it falls out by
itself, okay?
54
00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:50,560
Well, okay.
55
00:04:50,580 --> 00:04:53,320
We can wait for a while, but not too
long.
56
00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:54,880
Deal?
57
00:05:10,670 --> 00:05:11,589
What's the matter?
58
00:05:11,590 --> 00:05:15,710
Laura, the most humiliating thing
happened to me today.
59
00:05:16,250 --> 00:05:19,610
Let me guess. You only had enough
lipstick to do one lip.
60
00:05:21,930 --> 00:05:23,670
This is serious, Laura.
61
00:05:24,210 --> 00:05:25,210
Oh, sorry.
62
00:05:26,130 --> 00:05:27,970
Does this have anything to do with
Roger?
63
00:05:28,310 --> 00:05:32,410
You mean that stuck -up, conniving,
jerry -curled, plastic -cap -wearing
64
00:05:34,690 --> 00:05:35,690
Yeah, him.
65
00:05:56,830 --> 00:05:58,270
What do you want, Steve?
66
00:05:58,610 --> 00:06:02,190
I just got back from yodeling class, and
I couldn't wait to come home and hop on
67
00:06:02,190 --> 00:06:04,130
the phone and share my latest yodel.
Steve.
68
00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:14,440
basket case. Roger just dumped her.
69
00:07:14,900 --> 00:07:15,900
Oh, no.
70
00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:18,460
Why, he must have finished fixing up his
car.
71
00:07:19,620 --> 00:07:24,380
You got it. Well, you go soothe your A
-ring friend, my bodacious brat, first.
72
00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:36,940
Speak to me.
73
00:07:47,370 --> 00:07:48,370
back next week.
74
00:07:48,630 --> 00:07:51,190
Never mind. I'll just come over and talk
to you in person.
75
00:07:51,830 --> 00:07:55,030
Oh, good news. You're coming in loud and
clear now. What's up?
76
00:07:57,330 --> 00:08:01,690
Listen, I've got some juicy gossip that
you didn't hear from me.
77
00:08:02,250 --> 00:08:06,110
Comprende, compadre? Out with it, Steve.
I got calories to burn before I sleep.
78
00:08:06,510 --> 00:08:07,630
Why'd you dump Max?
79
00:08:07,890 --> 00:08:09,110
No. Yep.
80
00:08:09,870 --> 00:08:11,890
Oh, he must have finished fixing up his
car.
81
00:08:13,190 --> 00:08:16,630
Yep. Poor Maxine. She always picks the
losers.
82
00:08:17,210 --> 00:08:18,210
Listen, I got...
83
00:09:09,710 --> 00:09:10,930
Is it upside down?
84
00:09:17,910 --> 00:09:18,910
What's up?
85
00:09:19,130 --> 00:09:20,190
Big news, buddy.
86
00:09:20,650 --> 00:09:22,870
Roger and Maxine are incommunicado.
87
00:09:23,290 --> 00:09:25,110
Wow. Is that in Mexico?
88
00:09:29,010 --> 00:09:31,910
No, they're not speaking to each other.
Roger dumped her.
89
00:09:32,190 --> 00:09:33,510
He left her in Mexico?
90
00:09:36,790 --> 00:09:39,490
They're not in Mexico. They broke up.
91
00:09:40,110 --> 00:09:41,110
chance, man.
92
00:09:41,230 --> 00:09:42,470
I don't want to go to Mexico.
93
00:09:45,310 --> 00:09:48,170
Waldo, didn't you tell me you had a big
crush on Maxine?
94
00:09:48,530 --> 00:09:52,450
Hey, that's a secret. That's just
between you, me, and the West Sea man I
95
00:09:52,450 --> 00:09:53,450
it in.
96
00:09:54,170 --> 00:09:59,150
I know that. Look, all I'm saying is you
like Maxine and now she's available.
97
00:09:59,510 --> 00:10:00,750
So make your move, man.
98
00:10:01,770 --> 00:10:02,770
Get real.
99
00:10:03,030 --> 00:10:04,310
Maxine is drop -dead gorgeous.
100
00:10:04,610 --> 00:10:06,390
She never go out with a chucklehead like
me.
101
00:10:07,270 --> 00:10:08,830
Well, you never know unless you try.
102
00:10:09,340 --> 00:10:10,340
Then I'll never know.
103
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:13,500
I really like her a lot, and it would
hurt me bad if she shot me down.
104
00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:15,760
Hold on, Waldo.
105
00:10:15,940 --> 00:10:16,940
Incoming call.
106
00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:18,960
Speak to me.
107
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,160
Hey, I know.
108
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:21,620
Earthman again.
109
00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:26,040
Listen, I've got Laura on the other
line, and she wants me to warn you not
110
00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:28,600
blabbering about what happened between
Roger and Maxine.
111
00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,020
Oh, don't worry, I won't.
112
00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:32,760
Anymore. What?
113
00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:36,480
Well, you see, I told Waldo because he's
got a thing for Maxine. I'm trying to
114
00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:38,600
convince him to ask her out, but he's
afraid she'll say no.
115
00:10:39,790 --> 00:10:40,810
do Lieber. Hang on.
116
00:10:42,270 --> 00:10:43,550
Swims, guess what?
117
00:10:44,510 --> 00:10:45,510
What?
118
00:10:45,970 --> 00:10:49,310
Waldo likes Maxine. He wants to date
her, but he's too chicken to ask.
119
00:10:49,670 --> 00:10:50,670
You're kidding.
120
00:10:50,690 --> 00:10:53,350
Hey, I ain't never a kid when it comes
to a lot more.
121
00:11:12,170 --> 00:11:13,170
Waldo? Yeah.
122
00:11:13,970 --> 00:11:14,970
Waldo Faldo?
123
00:11:15,710 --> 00:11:16,710
Yeah.
124
00:11:19,130 --> 00:11:20,730
Waldo Geraldo Faldo?
125
00:11:23,230 --> 00:11:24,370
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
126
00:11:25,010 --> 00:11:26,970
Listen, would you ever consider going
out with him?
127
00:11:27,210 --> 00:11:28,210
I don't know.
128
00:11:29,390 --> 00:11:30,390
Maybe.
129
00:11:30,830 --> 00:11:32,670
If he asked... Hold on.
130
00:11:33,230 --> 00:11:34,230
See?
131
00:11:34,550 --> 00:11:35,790
Maxine said she might go out...
132
00:11:42,670 --> 00:11:44,190
She can't wait to go out with you.
133
00:12:43,089 --> 00:12:44,390
Hmm? What are you doing?
134
00:12:45,130 --> 00:12:47,110
I'm tying a string around this doorknob.
135
00:12:47,470 --> 00:12:48,930
It's time to pull Richie's tooth.
136
00:12:49,790 --> 00:12:51,910
Oh, Carl, don't do this.
137
00:12:52,450 --> 00:12:53,450
Well, why not?
138
00:12:53,570 --> 00:12:55,090
I pulled Eddie's teeth this way.
139
00:12:55,730 --> 00:12:59,670
Right. And until he was 12 years old, he
screamed every time he heard a door
140
00:12:59,670 --> 00:13:00,670
slam.
141
00:13:03,130 --> 00:13:04,750
Richie's tooth needs to come out.
142
00:13:05,090 --> 00:13:08,890
I know, Carl, but he's scared. Can't we
find a less traumatic way to do this?
143
00:13:12,940 --> 00:13:13,940
What?
144
00:13:14,380 --> 00:13:16,160
You are doing it again, Harriet.
145
00:13:16,740 --> 00:13:18,720
You are doing it again.
146
00:13:19,380 --> 00:13:20,580
Doing what, Carl?
147
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,900
You're behaving like a mother.
148
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:26,700
And what's that supposed to mean? You're
being overprotective.
149
00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:31,900
Harriet, have you learned nothing from
the tragedy of the sea lion?
150
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:35,120
Don't start with me, Carl.
151
00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:41,540
The massive female sea lion lies on a
remote beach.
152
00:13:42,300 --> 00:13:44,540
contentedly nursing her pups.
153
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:48,560
Without warning, a seagull makes a
darting dive.
154
00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:53,280
The mama sea lion rolls her blubbery
tonnage over onto her pups.
155
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,660
Disappointed, the gull wings away.
156
00:13:57,500 --> 00:14:01,640
But the mama sea lion heaves her
humongous belly off of her young.
157
00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:09,040
But alas, it is too late.
158
00:14:10,300 --> 00:14:11,500
The pups
159
00:14:12,270 --> 00:14:14,070
Have been mother smothered.
160
00:14:18,670 --> 00:14:19,670
Harold. Yes?
161
00:14:20,510 --> 00:14:22,130
Take a long look at me.
162
00:14:23,110 --> 00:14:24,890
And then a long look at you.
163
00:14:25,930 --> 00:14:28,170
Who's more likely to smother something?
164
00:14:34,350 --> 00:14:38,470
You better get back out here when I
think of a snappy comeback.
165
00:14:49,860 --> 00:14:50,860
easy.
166
00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:54,820
I'm going to use a very simple method
that my father used on me.
167
00:14:55,140 --> 00:14:56,140
What method?
168
00:14:56,340 --> 00:14:58,540
Well, take a seat right here on this
piano bench.
169
00:14:59,020 --> 00:15:00,020
Uh -uh.
170
00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:02,080
Okay.
171
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:03,560
I'll tell you what.
172
00:15:03,700 --> 00:15:05,840
I'll demonstrate the whole thing for
you, okay?
173
00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:10,800
Now, first I want you to notice that the
front door is open.
174
00:15:11,180 --> 00:15:15,420
See? And around the doorknob is a little
piece of string attached to it. See?
175
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:20,780
right there on the piano bench, like
this.
176
00:15:21,060 --> 00:15:22,060
See?
177
00:15:22,820 --> 00:15:26,500
Now, on the other end of the string is a
little slipknot. See?
178
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:31,360
Now, we'll just slide the slipknot over
your tooth just like this.
179
00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:33,560
See?
180
00:16:04,970 --> 00:16:06,490
It was a date I'll never forget.
181
00:16:07,350 --> 00:16:09,070
Ooh, girl, tell me everything.
182
00:16:09,370 --> 00:16:10,410
Every single detail.
183
00:16:10,710 --> 00:16:11,710
Okay.
184
00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:24,150
What's up?
185
00:16:24,510 --> 00:16:25,870
Waldo? Yeah, what's up?
186
00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:28,870
I mean, you said you were gonna call me
as soon as you got home from your date
187
00:16:28,870 --> 00:16:29,870
with Maxine.
188
00:16:29,910 --> 00:16:31,110
Yeah, but I went to shave first.
189
00:16:33,930 --> 00:16:37,210
Waldo. You're supposed to shave before
you go on a date.
190
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:39,450
Well, thanks a lot, Mr. Too Late Now.
191
00:16:41,370 --> 00:16:42,730
Just tell me about your date.
192
00:16:43,350 --> 00:16:47,950
Okay. I didn't want to be late, so when
I rang the doorbell, it was exactly 7 o
193
00:16:47,950 --> 00:16:49,570
'clock. Good for you.
194
00:16:49,990 --> 00:16:51,450
Unfortunately, it wasn't Maxine's house.
195
00:16:54,530 --> 00:16:57,270
It belonged to some cranky old man who
didn't like being interrupted.
196
00:16:57,810 --> 00:17:00,330
It took me five minutes to pry his pit
bull off my butt.
197
00:17:05,319 --> 00:17:06,319
Oh, man.
198
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,400
Hey, but I didn't lose my cool.
199
00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:11,339
I just used the old noggin. Oh, what'd
you do?
200
00:17:11,599 --> 00:17:14,079
I drove around the block honking my horn
and screaming her name.
201
00:17:15,579 --> 00:17:16,579
Good thinking.
202
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:18,560
Hang on, Waldo.
203
00:17:18,839 --> 00:17:19,839
Incoming call.
204
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:22,400
Speak to me.
205
00:17:23,380 --> 00:17:24,560
Hello? Earthman.
206
00:17:25,579 --> 00:17:26,579
Steve, I'm busy.
207
00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:30,360
Me, too. But counting rack chromosomes
is tedious work, and I needed a break.
208
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:31,800
Goodbye, Steve.
209
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:34,300
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Have you
heard from Waldo yet?
210
00:17:35,110 --> 00:17:37,090
collection isn't the only thing on pins
and needles.
211
00:17:37,630 --> 00:17:41,710
He's on the other line now. He was
telling me about his date with Maxine
212
00:17:41,710 --> 00:17:43,050
was rudely interrupted.
213
00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:47,570
Oh, you'll call me and tell me what
happened, right?
214
00:17:47,850 --> 00:17:49,230
Uh, yeah, absolutely.
215
00:17:49,650 --> 00:17:50,650
Uh, bye.
216
00:17:59,590 --> 00:18:00,590
Hello?
217
00:18:01,430 --> 00:18:02,570
Hey, baby cakes.
218
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:11,920
date with Waldo.
219
00:18:11,980 --> 00:18:13,700
I'm on the other line with her right
now.
220
00:18:13,900 --> 00:18:16,960
Oh, you'll call me and tell me what
happened, right?
221
00:18:17,380 --> 00:18:18,640
Oh, uh -huh, sure.
222
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:20,080
Absolutely. Bye.
223
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:22,400
Maxine, I'm back.
224
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:23,500
Where was I?
225
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:26,960
Waldo was driving down your street,
honking his horn and screaming your
226
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:31,080
So all of a sudden, Maxine runs out of
her house. She jumps into my truck and
227
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:33,260
says, shut up and floor before the
neighbors kill us.
228
00:18:35,180 --> 00:18:37,160
Great. So what movie did y 'all see?
229
00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:39,940
Waldo said he was dying. to see Malcolm
X.
230
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,220
Malcolm X.
231
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:51,600
Yeah, don't you know your Roman
numerals?
232
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:53,400
Malcolm X is Malcolm X.
233
00:18:54,380 --> 00:18:56,240
So what happened after the movie?
234
00:18:56,560 --> 00:19:00,500
It must have rained because when we left
the theater, we had to cross a big mud
235
00:19:00,500 --> 00:19:05,080
puddle. Oh, Lord, don't tell me he fell
in. So I took off my jacket and put it
236
00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:07,260
over the puddle so Maxine's feet
wouldn't get all muddy.
237
00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:10,360
Nice move. Very gallant.
238
00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,960
And then he picked up the jacket and
wrapped it around my shoulders.
239
00:19:18,140 --> 00:19:20,060
Mud all over your dress.
240
00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:22,220
Mud all over her dress.
241
00:19:24,540 --> 00:19:26,580
Man, disaster big time.
242
00:19:27,060 --> 00:19:30,660
I started to get mad, but then Walter
did the strangest thing.
243
00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:32,380
What did he do?
244
00:19:32,660 --> 00:19:34,240
I sat in a puddle so we could match.
245
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:43,640
That made her feel a lot better.
246
00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:48,160
It's weird, but somehow it actually made
me feel better.
247
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:50,560
And that's when he kissed me.
248
00:19:51,660 --> 00:19:52,660
Get out!
249
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:57,420
Yep. I just took general aim at her
face, closed my eyes, and fired with
250
00:19:57,420 --> 00:19:59,280
lips. Got her smack dab on the cheek.
251
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:01,240
Laura,
252
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:06,860
every guy I've ever gone out with has
tried to take advantage of me, but not
253
00:20:06,860 --> 00:20:07,860
Waldo.
254
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:09,780
I always thought he was so dense.
255
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:12,800
But there's a lot more to him than I
thought.
256
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:16,520
He's really sweet, and I like him a lot.
257
00:20:17,980 --> 00:20:19,160
Do you think that's crazy?
258
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:21,740
No, that's not crazy. That's terrific.
259
00:20:22,580 --> 00:20:26,760
Eddie, Maxine is the first girl I've
ever dated who doesn't make fun of me
260
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:27,760
I mess up.
261
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:30,600
I kind of think she likes me, and I'm
crazy about her.
262
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:33,380
I just think I was almost too chicken to
even ask her out.
263
00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:36,700
Now, you see, sometimes you just got to
go for it.
264
00:20:37,580 --> 00:20:40,200
Laura, thanks for listening to my
troubles.
265
00:20:40,950 --> 00:20:41,950
You're a good friend.
266
00:20:43,130 --> 00:20:45,190
Don't mention it. Hey, y 'all, what's up
with me?
267
00:20:46,150 --> 00:20:48,890
Eddie, I appreciate your help and
advice, and I'm lucky to have a buddy
268
00:20:48,890 --> 00:20:51,830
you. Ah, forget it. Takes one to know
one.
269
00:20:53,050 --> 00:20:54,570
Well, good night.
270
00:21:19,100 --> 00:21:25,340
Stephen? It is 3 .27 a .m. Why is family
watching in bed?
271
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:28,320
Annie and Laura promised to call me
back.
272
00:21:28,540 --> 00:21:30,560
It would be rude of me to miss their
call, Mom.
273
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:35,280
Family Matters is a Miller -Foyer
production in association with Laura
274
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:38,280
Television and is distributed by Warner
Brothers Domestic Television
275
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:39,280
Distribution.
20724
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